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Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Emma Mackey, Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Russell Brand, Ali Fazal, Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Rose Leslie, Sophie Okonedo, Letitia Wright
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Mystery thriller sequel directed by Kenneth Branagh. Death on the Nile (2022) follows world-renowned detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) as he investigates the murder of a young heiress, Linnet Doyle (Gal Gadot), during her picture-perfect idyllic honeymoon aboard a cruise ship on the Nile River.
Our Favorite Quotes:'When you love someone, you love them through all their moods and changes over time. Their worst qualities peak at nuisance. Their flaws become freckles.' - Katherine (Death on the Nile) Click To Tweet
Katherine: [flashback to 1914 during World War I] I heard there was a wounded soldier whose instincts on the battlefield saved his entire company.
Hercule Poirot: I did not save my captain. And you agreed to marry me before all of this. Katherine, you should go.
Katherine: Do you have any idea how love works? When you love someone, you love them through all their moods and changes over time. Their worst qualities peak at nuisance. Their flaws become freckles. And as it happens, I love you.
Hercule Poirot: [as he turns his face to show his wounded face] What about this?
Katherine: [she kisses his hand] Come here. Simple. You’ll grow a moustache.
Hercule Poirot: [referring to the desserts] There are seven.
Maître ‘D Chez Ma Tente: Indeed. Seven of the very finest, sir.
Hercule Poirot: I do not want seven. I want only the six. I cannot have the uneven number.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: [to Linnet] It’s not fair looking like that and getting to be you.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: Honestly, I’ll die if I can’t be Mrs. Doyle. It’s love.
Linnet Ridgeway: Oh, darling. You got it so bad. Be careful.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: It’s too late.
Bouc: [to Poirot] Of all the pyramids in all the world, you had to walk up to mine. What a small world.
Hercule Poirot: Still the constant traveler.
Bouc: Sadly, no. Uncle sacked me off the train once he found out that I did nothing. I tried jobs. An office. I could manage the work, I just couldn’t fathom mornings.
Bouc: Mother, you must meet Hercule Poirot.
Euphemia Bouc: Why?
Bouc: He’s only the greatest detective alive.
Hercule Poirot: Oh, he exaggerates. No, he is quite correct actually.
Euphemia Bouc: You are quite the most ludicrous man I have ever seen.
Hercule Poirot: Not the first time I’ve heard this.
Marie Van Schuyler: It’s bad enough we have to stay in this bourgeois nightmare of a hotel, but I won’t be party to the oppression of the working class.
Bowers: Unless it’s me, of course. Then she’s perfectly fine with it.
Windlesham: [to himself] I am calm, capable, and coping.
Marie Van Schuyler: The cost of this party could feed a village for a year. It’s an obscene extravagance.
Bowers: I know. Wonderful, isn’t it?
Euphemia Bouc: Is it true you donated your entire fortune to the Socialist Party, dear?
Marie Van Schuyler: Communist. “Money is the alienated essence of man’s labor and life.”
Euphemia Bouc: Money is the only friend a woman can rely on.
Bouc: Ladies and gentlemen. And Mother. It is my honor to introduce our hosts. Please welcome the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Simon Doyle!
'When you have money, no one is ever really your friend.' - Linnet Ridgeway (Death on the Nile) Click To Tweet
Bouc: [referring to Doyle and Linnet] Lucky devil. Fancy finding the one heiress without adenoids and flat feet. Eloped as fast as they could.
Euphemia Bouc: Convention be damned.
Bowers: Married for love and got money by chance, that’s the lightning strike.
Simon Doyle: Friends, I know you’re all thinking there is a mystery at play here. The case of “Why in the hell would Linnet Ridgeway marry him?” And I honestly can’t say why. I’m not smart, or romantic. I don’t have the words, or the money, or the pedigree. But I do love you. And now, well, I don’t even want to say it, lest the thieves come and steal you away.
[he kisses Linnet]
Bouc: [to Poirot] Ah, the bereaved. There’s one at every wedding party. The good Dr. Windlesham proposed to Miss Ridgeway, when she was still Miss Ridgeway. He and the papers both had the deal as good as done. Then came the engorged stallion, and now it’s Mrs. Doyle. If I were in his shoes, I’d only come here to put a bullet in the groom.
Bouc: [to Poirot] Our other guests? Linnet’s godmother, who despises Linnet’s wealth. And the godmother’s nursemaid, Bowers, who covets it. As does Linnet’s own maid, poor old Louise. Oh, and there’s Cousin Andrew. He’s a slippery fish. No one except Linnet trusts him. We find Mother and I are the only sane people here. The only one who seems to like Linnet at all is her old schoolmate, Rosalie. And she’s Salome Otterbourne’s niece and arranged for her to come to play for them.
Hercule Poirot: [as Jacqueline shows up] Alas, Act Three.
Bouc: Turns out there’s two bereaved at every party.
Simon Doyle: See, when I was with Jackie, I liked her, I did. Then I met Linnet. Jackie just didn’t exist for me anymore. From “Hello”, I just couldn’t imagine any other path but by her side. And lucky me, she felt the same. I could’ve punched the sun.
Hercule Poirot: Instead, you broke your engagement.
Linnet Ridgeway: Does he have to spend the rest of his life with someone he doesn’t love to spare her feelings? It’s love. It’s not a game played fair. There are no rules. Now, maybe she hasn’t committed a crime yet. But I know Jackie, she will. She always settled her scores.
Hercule Poirot: You have our newlyweds in the twist.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: First, I did it just to be near him. Then I got bold, and let them see me. I saw her smile fade and lines crack across her forehead.
Hercule Poirot: Mademoiselle de Bellefort, you must give this up. What is done is done. Bitterness will not undo it. He is married. He is in love with his wife.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: Simon loves me. I know it. Even if he’s forgotten, dazzled by her. Love that fierce doesn’t vanish. I love him. I love him madly, badly, at every minute. It’s not something I can switch off. There’s a reason the heart is the organ given to love, you know. If it stops to rest, we die. And I won’t die alone, you can be sure of that.
Jacqueline de Bellefort: It’s a .22 caliber. It’s practically a toy. Maybe, to fix a broken heart, all it takes is a single bullet.
Hercule Poirot: Well, if I may humbly advise? I am sure Mrs. Doyle has a fine home. Go to it now. Build your nest, begin your lives together.
Linnet Ridgeway: We could, Simon. We could go home and shut the gates. We could be happy.
Simon Doyle: What, just pack it in? But what about our honeymoon?
Hercule Poirot: Consider it the cost of love. And a bargain at that, huh?
Linnet Ridgeway: I wish we’d gone home like you said. I don’t feel safe here. Not me, not Simon, even with Jackie gone.
Hercule Poirot: But you are among friends.
Linnet Ridgeway: When you have money, no one is ever really your friend.
Linnet Ridgeway: [to Poirot] I don’t feel safe with any of them.
Hercule Poirot: Madame, I am so moved. Your bluesy music has joy on top for the dancing, yet there is tragedy in there, too.
Salome Otterbourne: Writing tragedy is easy. I just imagine someone I want to punish. Then I imagine them in love.
Bouc: You’ve taken quite a keen interest in Salome Otterbourne. I thought Poirot was impervious to love’s fever.
Hercule Poirot: I was sick with it once. It left me with enough regret for a lifetime.
'Writing tragedy is easy. I just imagine someone I want to punish. Then I imagine them in love.' - Salome Otterbourne (Death on the Nile) Click To Tweet