Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, Walton Goggins, Dennis Christopher, James Remar, David Steen, Don Johnson, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, Jonah Hill, Escalante Lundy, Bruce Dern, M.C. Gainey
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Western written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Django Unchained (2012) follows Django (Jamie Foxx), a slave who finds himself freed by an unorthodox German bounty hunter named Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Together they hunt the South’s most-wanted criminals. Their travels take them to the infamous plantation of shady Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), where Django’s long-lost wife (Kerry Washington) is still a slave and Django wants to free.
'Don't get so carried away with your retribution, you lose sight of why we're here.' - Dr. King Schultz (Django Unchained) Click To Tweet
Our Favorite Quotes:
Dr. King Schultz: [1858 – two years before the Civil War] I wish to parley with you.
Ace Speck: Speak English.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. It is a second language. Now, amongst your inventory, I’ve been led to believe, is a specimen I’m keen to acquire.
Dr. King Schultz: Hello, you poor devils! Is there one amongst you who was formerly a resident of the Carrucan Plantation?
Django: I’m from the Carrucan Plantation.
Dr. King Schultz: Who said that? What’s your name?
Dr. King Schultz: Then you are exactly the one I’m looking for.
Ace Speck: Speak English, goddamn it.
Dr. King Schultz: Everybody calm down. I’m simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.
Ace Speck: I don’t care. No sale. Now, off with you.
Dr. King Schultz: Don’t be ridiculous. Of course they’re for sale.
Ace Speck: Move it.
Dr. King Schultz: My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture or are you pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?
Ace Speck: Last chance, fancy pants.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, very well.
[Schultz suddenly shoots Ace in the face and then shoots Dicky’s horse, making it land on Dicky]
Dr. King Schultz: I’m sorry to put a bullet in your beast, but I didn’t want you to do anything rash before you had a moment to come to your senses.
Dicky Speck: You goddamn son of a b**ch! You shot Roscoe!
Dr. King Schultz: Well…
Dicky Speck: And you killed Ace!
Dr. King Schultz: I only shot your brother once he threatened to shoot me. And I do believe I have, one, two, three, four, five witnesses who can attest to that fact.
Dicky Speck: Damn leg’s busted!
Dr. King Schultz: No doubt. Now, uh, if you could keep your caterwauling down to a minimum, I’d like to finish my line of inquiry with young Django.
Dr. King Schultz: Now, as to you poor devils. So, as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One, once I’m gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town. Which would be at least thirty-seven miles back the way you came. Or, two, you could unshackle yourselves, take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. Choice is yours. Oh, and on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Ta-ta.
[he points to the star in the sky]
Dicky Speck: You got to be reasonable in a situation like this! I’m not a bad guy. I’m just doing my job! Blueberry, didn’t I give you my last apple? Tell you what, boy. Take me to the doc in El Paso, I’ll get you your freedom. No. No, please!
[the slave shoots Dicky’s head off]
Dr. King Schultz: What’s everybody staring at?
Django: They ain’t never seen no n***** on a horse before.
Django: What kind of dentist are you?
Dr. King Schultz: Despite that cart, I haven’t practiced dentistry in five years. But these days, I practice a new profession. Bounty Hunter. Do you know what a Bounty Hunter is?
Dr. King Schultz: Well, the way the slave trade deals in human lives for cash, a bounty hunter deals in corpses.
Dr. King Schultz: The state places a bounty on a man’s head. I track that man, I find that man, I kill that man. After I’ve killed him, I transport that man’s corpse back to the authorities. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. I show that corpse to the authorities, proving yes, indeed, I truly have killed him. At which point the authorities pay me the bounty. So, like slavery, it’s a flesh for cash business.
Django: What’s a bounty?
Dr. King Schultz: It’s like a reward.
Django: You kill people and they give you a reward?
Dr. King Schultz: Certain people, yeah.
Django: Bad people?
Dr. King Schultz: Ah! Badder they are, bigger the reward.
Dr. King Schultz: I must admit, I’m at a bit of a quandary when it comes to you. On one hand, I despise slavery. On the other hand, I need your help. If you’re not in a position to refuse, all the better. So, for the time being, I’m going to make this slavery malarkey work to my benefit. Still, having said that, I feel guilty. So, I would like the two of us to enter into an agreement. I’m looking for the Brittle Brothers. However, at this endeavor, I’m at a slight disadvantage, in so far as, I don’t know what they look like. But you do, don’t you?
Django: I know what they look like alright.
Dr. King Schultz: Good. So, here’s my agreement. You travel with me until we find them.
Dr. King Schultz: Do I have your word as a lawman not to shoot me down like a dog in the street?
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum: Well, much as we’d all enjoy seeing something like that, ain’t nobody going to cheat the hangman in my town.
Dr. King Schultz: Fair enough, Marshal. Here we come!
Dr. King Schultz: My name is Dr. King Schultz. Like yourself, Marshal, I’m a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their Sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of two hundred dollars. Now that’s two hundred dollars, dead or alive.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum: The hell, you say!
Dr. King Schultz: I’m aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I’m willing to wager this man was elected Sheriff sometime in the past two years?
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: I know this because, three years ago he was rustling cattle from the BC Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now, this is a warrant made out by Circuit Court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin, Texas. You’re encouraged to wire him. He’ll back up who I am and who your dear departed Sheriff was In other words, Marshal, you owe me two hundred dollars.
Django: I’ll be damned.
Dr. King Schultz: After this Brittle business is behind us, you’ll be a free man, with a horse, seventy-five dollars in your back pocket. What’s your plan after that?
Django: Find my wife, and buy her freedom.
Dr. King Schultz: Django, I had no idea you were a married man. Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Django: Oh, me and my wife do. Old Man Carrucan didn’t. That’s why we run off.
Dr. King Schultz: Wait, let me get this straight. Your slave wife speaks German, and her name is Broomhilda Von Shaft?
Dr. King Schultz: And your character is that of The Valet.
Django: What that is?
Dr. King Schultz: That’s a fancy word for servant.
Dr. King Schultz: And now, Django, you may choose your character’s costume.
Django: Youse going to let me pick out my own clothes?
Dr. King Schultz: But of course.
Dr. King Schultz: My good, sir, perhaps we got off on the wrong boot. Allow me to unring this bell. My name is Dr. King Schultz. This is my valet, Django, and these are our horses, Tony and Fritz. Mr. Bennett, I’ve been led to believe that you are a gentleman and a businessman. And it is for these attributes we’ve ridden from Texas to Tennessee to parley with you now.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Well, what if I was to say I don’t like you, or your fancy-pants n*****? And I wouldn’t sell you a tinkers damn. Now what you got to say about that?
Dr. King Schultz: Mr. Bennett, if you are the businessman I’ve been led to believe you to be, I have five thousand things I might say that could change your mind.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Well, come on inside and get yourself something cool to drink.
'Normally I would say “auf wiedersehen”. But since what “auf wiedersehen” actually means is “till I see you again”, and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye.' - Dr. King Schultz (Django Unchained) Click To Tweet
Betina: So you really free?
Django: Yes, I’s free.
Betina: You mean you want to dress like that?
Django: [flashback] On my knees, I’m asking you this, please. Ain’t this what you want? I’m keeping it funny for you. Now, John, please. I is on my knees, John.
Big John Brittle: I like the way you beg, boy.
Django: John Brittle! You remember me?
Django: [shoots Brittle in the heart] I like the way you die, boy.
Dr. King Schultz: [referring to Ellis] You sure that’s him?
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don’t know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don’t know if you’re positive?
Django: I don’t know what “positive” mean.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you’re sure.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I’m sure that’s Ellis Brittle.
Django: [suddenly Schultz shoots Ellis] I’m positive he dead.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Who are you two jokers?
Dr. King Schultz: I am Dr. King Schultz, a legal representative of the criminal justice system of the United States of America. The man to my left is Django Freeman, he’s my deputy. In my pocket is a warrant, signed by Circuit Court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin, Texas, for the arrest and capture, dead or alive, of John Brittle, Roger Brittle and Ellis Brittle.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: [as they’re going after Schultz and Django] Now, unless they start shooting first, nobody shoot them. That’s way too simple for these jokers. We’re going to whup that n***** lover to death. And I’m going to personally strip and clip that garboon myself.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: [puts the mask over his head] Damn, I can’t see f***ing s**t out of this thing.
Bag Head #1: We ready or what?
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Hold on. I’m f***ing with my eye holes.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: [as he rips the material around his eye hole] Oh. Oh, s**t. I just made it worse.
Tennessee Redfish: [referring to the mask] Who made this goddamn s**t?
O.B.: Willard’s wife.
Willard: Well, make your own goddamn masks!
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Look, nobody’s saying they don’t appreciate what Jenny did.
Tennessee Redfish: Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I could’ve cut it better than this!
O.B.: What about you, Robert? Can you see?
Robert: Not too good. I mean, if I don’t move my head I can see you pretty good, more or less. But when I start riding, the bag’s moving all over, and I’m riding blind.
Bag Head #2: [as he rips his mask eye hole] S**t. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?
Bag Head #3: No, nobody brought an extra bag!
Bag Head #2: I’m just asking.
O.B.: Do we have to wear them when we ride?
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Oh, well, s**tfire! If you don’t wear them as you ride up, that just defeats the purpose!
Tennessee Redfish: Well, I can’t see in this f***ing thing! I can’t breathe in this f***ing thing, and I can’t ride in this f***ing thing!
Willard: Well, f*** all y’all! I’m going home! Now, I watched my wife work all day getting thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons-a-b**ches, and all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! From now on, don’t ask me or mine for nothing!
Bag Head #2: Okay, I’m confused. Are the bags on or off?
Robert: I think we all think the bag was a nice idea. But, not pointing any fingers, they could’ ve been done better. So how about no bags this time, but next time we do the bags right, and then we go full regalia.
Tennessee Redfish: You get my vote, Robert.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: [as everyone takes off their mask] Wait a minute! I didn’t say no bags.
Bag Head #2: But nobody can see.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: So?
Bag Head #2: So it’d be nice to see.
Spencer ‘Big Daddy’ Bennett: Goddamn it! This is a raid! I can’t see, you can’t see! So what? All that matters is can the f***ing horse see! That’s a raid!
Dr. King Schultz: Well, Broomhilda was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, God of all Gods. Anyway, her father is really mad at her.
Django: What she do?
Dr. King Schultz: I can’t exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Django: Broomhilda’s on a mountain?
Dr. King Schultz: It’s a German legend, there’s always going to be a mountain in there somewhere.
Dr. King Schultz: [as continues telling the story of the legend] And there Broomhilda shall remain, unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.
Django: Does a fella arise?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named, Siegfried.
Django: Does Siegfried save her?
Dr. King Schultz: Quite spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he’s not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he’s not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire, because Broomhilda’s worth it.
Django: I know how he feel.
Dr. King Schultz: I think I’m just starting to realize that.
Dr. King Schultz: Now, look, Django, I don’t doubt that one day you’ll save your lady love. But I can’t let you go to Greenville in a good conscience. A slave auction town in Mississippi isn’t the place for you to visit. Free or not, it’s just too dangerous. But let me ask you a question. How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django: Kill white folks, and they pay you for it? What’s not to like?
Dr. King Schultz: Now, I have to admit, we make a good team.