Django Unchained (2012) Best Quotes

Dr. King Schultz: How would you like to partner up for the winter?
Django: What you mean, “partner up”?
Dr. King Schultz: You work with me through the winter till the snow melts, I give you a third of my bounties. So we make some money this winter, and when the snow melts, I’ll take you to Greenville myself, and we’ll find where they sent your wife.
Django: Why you care what happen to me? Why you care if I find my wife?
Dr. King Schultz: Frankly, I’ve never given anybody their freedom before. And now that I have, I feel vaguely responsible for you. Plus, when a German meets a real life Siegfried, that’s kind of a big deal. As a German, I’m obliged to help you on your quest to rescue your beloved Broomhilda.

Dr. King Schultz: [as Django hesitates to shoot a man on the farm] Ooh, what happened to Mr. I Want to Shoot White Folks For Money?
Django: His son’s with him.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, good. He’ll have a loved one with him. Maybe even share a last word. That’s better than most of them get, damn sight better than he deserves. Put down the rifle. Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you.

Dr. King Schultz: [points to the picture on the bill] That is who Smitty Bacall is. If Smitty Bacall wanted to start a farm at twenty-two, they would never have printed that. But Smitty Bacall wanted to rob stagecoaches, and he didn’t mind killing people to do it. Do you want to save your wife by doing what I do? This is what I do. I kill people and sell their corpses for cash. This corpse is worth seven thousand dollars. Now quit your pussyfooting and shoot him.
Smitty Bacall’s Son: [as Django shoots Bacall] Pa? Pa!
Dr. King Schultz: Here. You need to keep this Smitty Bacall handbill.
Django: Why?
Dr. King Schultz: It’s good luck. You always keep the handbill of your first bounty.

Dr. King Schultz: [as Django shoots a hole in a bottle] That’s accurate.

Django: Candyland?
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, so you’ve heard of it.
Django: Ain’t no slave ain’t heard of Candyland.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, apparently, that’s where your wife is, and that’s the repellent gentleman who owns her. Let’s just hope she works in the house, not in the field.
Django: Oh, no, she ain’t no field n*****. She pretty. And she talk good too. But when they tore her back up and then they burned that runaway R on her cheek, they goddamned her. She ain’t no field n*****, but she ain’t good enough for the house no more either. They going to try to make her a comfort girl.
Dr. King Schultz: What’s a comfort…? Oh.
Django: Not while I got freedom. Not while I got my gun.

Django: So do we offer to buy her?
Dr. King Schultz: So, say a man wants to buy a horse, needs to buy a horse. He walks up to the farmer’s farm, and he knocks on the farmer’s door and asks the farmer to buy his horse. And do you know what the farmer says? The farmer says no.
Django: Well, I say f*** that farmer, and I’m stealing that horse.
Dr. King Schultz: Fair enough, but now you’re a horse thief, and they hang horse thieves. Not to mention the horse goes back to its original owner because the horse is still his property. We need her, and we need a bill of sale.

Django: Well, if we ain’t going to try to buy her, then how we going to get her?
Dr. King Schultz: May I offer an alternative plan of action?
Django: Go ahead.
Dr. King Schultz: So, the man walks up to the farmer’s farm, he knocks on the farmer’s door and asks not to buy the horse, but the farm. And makes an offer so ridiculous, the farmer is forced to say yes.
Django: We going to offer to buy Candyland?
Dr. King Schultz: No, it’s far too big. But apparently this farmer ain’t all about the farm.

Dr. King Schultz: Can you convincingly masquerade as someone who is an expert on Mandingo fighting?
Django: Why?
Dr. King Schultz: Because my character is that of a big money buyer from Dusseldorf, here in Greenville to buy my way into the Mandingo fight game. And your character is a Mandingo expert I hired to help me do it.
Django: They call that One-Eyed Charley.

Dr. King Schultz: How long have you been associated with Mr. Candie?
Leonide Moguy: Oh, Calvings father and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. Calvings father’s father put me through law school. One could almost say I was raised to be Calvings lawyer.
Django: One could almost say youse a n*****.
Leonide Moguy: What did you say?
Django: I said…
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, nothing, he’s just being cheeky.

Dr. King Schultz: Anything else about Mr. Candie that I should know before I meet him?
Leonide Moguy: Yes, he is a bit of a Francophile.
Dr. King Schultz: What civilized people aren’t?
Leonide Moguy: And he prefers Monsieur Candie to Mr. Candie.
Dr. King Schultz: [in French] Whatever he prefers.
Leonide Moguy: He doesn’t speak French. Don’t speak French to him, it’ll embarrass him.

Calvin Candie: Why do you want to get in the Mandingo business?
Dr. King Schultz: You don’t intend to allow your second to make the proper introductions?
Calvin Candie: Quit stalling, now. Answer the question.
Dr. King Schultz: The awful truth? I’m bored. This seems like a good bit of fun.
Calvin Candie: Well, come on over. We got us a fight going on that’s a good bit of fun.

Django: You don’t wear a hat in the house, white man. Even I know that.

Dr. King Schultz: What a rare pleasure.
Calvin Candie: [to the Mandingo fighters] Keep fighting, n*****s.
Dr. King Schultz: And I might add, an honor.
Calvin Candie: Honor to meet you. Please have a seat, the pleasure’s all mine.

Amerigo Vessepi: What’s your name?
Django: Django.
Amerigo Vessepi: Can you spell it?
Django: D-J-A-N-G-O. The D is silent.
Amerigo Vessepi: I know.

Dr. King Schultz: A fortuitous turn of events brought Django and myself together.
Calvin Candie: I’ve heard tell about you. I heard you been telling everybody them Mandingos ain’t no damn good, ain’t nothing nobody is selling is worth buying. I’m curious, what makes you such a Mandingo expert?
Django: I’m curious, what makes you so curious?
Butch Pooch: What did you say, boy?
Calvin Candie: Calm down, Butch. No offense given, none taken.

Calvin Candie: [referring to Django] Doc, I am a seasoned slaver. You are, well, you are a neophyte. I’m simply trying to ascertain if this cowboy here is taking advantage of you.
Dr. King Schultz: With all due respect, Monsieur Candie, I didn’t seek you out for your advice. I sought you out to purchase a fighting n***** at above top-dollar market price. Now I was under the impression, when you granted me an audience, it would be to discuss business.
Calvin Candie: Well, we weren’t talking business yet. We were discussing my curiosity.

Calvin Candie: [referring to Django] Now, according to Moguy, if I do business with you, I’m doing business with both y’all. He does the eyeballing, you the billfold? Is that it?
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you don’t make it sound too flattering. But more or less, yeah.

Calvin Candie: So, Bright Boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django: Not for top dollar.
Calvin Candie: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat-a** n***** from me, those are the beat-a** n*****s I want to sell, so.
Django: He don’t want to buy the n*****s you want to sell. He wants the n***** you don’t want to sell.
Calvin Candie: Well, I don’t sell the n*****s I don’t want to sell.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won’t sell your best. You won’t even sell your second best. But your third best, you don’t want to sell him either? But if I made you an offer so ridiculous you’d be forced to consider it, who knows what could happen?
Calvin Candie: And what do you consider ridiculous?
Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right n*****? How much would you say, Django?
Django: Twelve thousand dollars.
Calvin Candie: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.

Calvin Candie: Where I part company from many of my phrenologist colleagues is I believe there is a level above bright, above talented, above loyal that a n***** can aspire to. Say, one n***** that just pops up in ten thousand, the exceptional n*****.

Calvin Candie: But I do believe that given time, exceptional n*****s, like Bright Boy here, become if not frequent, more frequent. Bright Boy, you are that one in ten thousand.

Billy Crash: Oh, now you are one lucky n*****.
Django: You better listen to your boss, white boy.
Billy Crash: Oh, I’m going to go walking in the moonlight with you.
Django: You want to hold my hand?

Django: You got a problem with your eyeball, boy?
Rodney: No, sir.
Django: You want a boot heel in it?
Rodney: No, sir.
Django: Then you keep your goddamn eyeballs off me. You flash that bad look at me again, I’ll give you a reason not to like me.

Django: You n*****s are going to understand something about me, I’m worse than any of these white men here. You get the molasses out your a**, you keep your goddamn eyeballs off me.
Calvin Candie: [referring to Django] He is a rambunctious sort, ain’t he?
Dr. King Schultz: Indeed.

Dr. King Schultz: I confirmed that Broomhilda’s at Candyland.
Django: You’re sure it’s her?
Dr. King Schultz: He didn’t call her by name, but she’s a young lady, whip marks on her back and speaks German. Now, while it’s not wise to assume, in this instance, I think it’s pretty safe. Point being, don’t get so carried away with your retribution, you lose sight of why we’re here.
Django: You think I lost sight of that?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, I do. Stop antagonizing Candie. You’re going to blow this whole charade, or more than likely get us both killed. And I, for one, don’t intend to die in Chickasaw County, Mississippi, USA.
Django: I’m not antagonizing him. I’m intriguing him.
Dr. King Schultz: You’re yelling abuse at these poor slaves.

Django: I recall the man who had me kill another man in front of his son, and he didn’t bat an eye. You remember that?
Dr. King Schultz: Yeah, of course I remember.
Django: What you said was that this is my world, and in my world you got to get dirty. So that’s what I’m doing, I’m getting dirty.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you’re paraphrasing a tad, but that was the general gist.

Calvin Candie: You in trouble now, son.
D’Artagnan: Yes, sir.
Calvin Candie: I done, I done paid five hundred dollars for you. When I pay five hundred dollars, then I expect to get five fights out of a n***** before he roll over and play dead.
D’Artagnan: Yes, sir.
Calvin Candie: You got to understand that I’m running a business here. You fought three fights.
D’Artagnan: But I won every one.
Calvin Candie: Yes, you did. Yes, you did. But that last one, you muddled the line between winning and losing.
D’Artagnan: Yes, sir.
Calvin Candie: Still, the fact remains, I paid five hundred dollars, I want five goddamn fights! So what about my five hundred dollars, huh? What about my five hundred dollars? You going to reimburse me? You even know what reimburse means? Huh?
Dr. King Schultz: I’ll reimburse you!

Calvin Candie: Your boss looks a little green around the gills for a blood sport like n***** fighting.
Django: No, he just ain’t used to seeing a man ripped apart by dogs is all.
Calvin Candie: You are used to it?
Django: I’m just a little more used to Americans than he is. Now, Monsieur Candie, whenever you’re ready. We rode five hours so you could show off your stock. Let’s get to it. Because as of now, if he’s an example, I ain’t impressed.
Calvin Candie: Follow me.

Calvin Candie: Hello! Stephen, my boy!
Stephen: [referring to Django] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my a**. Who this n***** up on that nag?
Calvin Candie: Oh, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What’s the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me, huh?
Stephen: Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hog miss slop! Like a baby miss mammy’s titty. I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe.

Django: Hey, Snowball. Want to know my name, or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Stephen: Just who the hell you calling Snowball, horse boy? I’ll snatch your black a** off that nag there and in the mud so fast…
Calvin Candie: Woh, woh, woh! Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Let’s keep it funny. Django here’s a Freeman.
Stephen: This n***** here?
Calvin Candie: That n***** there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here’s Django. You two ought to hate each other.

Stephen: Calvin, just who the hell is this n***** you feels the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie: Django and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old decrepit b****rd, ought to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen: Yes, sir. Him I understand. But I don’t know why I got to take lip off this n*****.
Calvin Candie: You don’t have to know why. Do you understand?
Stephen: Yes, sir. I understand.

Stephen: [referring to Django] He going to stay in The Big House?
Calvin Candie: Stephen, he’s a slaver. It’s different.
Stephen: In The Big House?!
Calvin Candie: Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen: Oh, no. I ain’t got no problem with it, if you ain’t got no problem with burning the bed, the sheets, the pillowcases, everything else when this black a** m**herf***er’s gone!
Calvin Candie: That is my problem. They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!
Stephen: Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie: Go on, now.
Stephen: [muttering] Can’t believe you brought a n***** to stay in The Big House. Your daddy rolling over in his goddamned grave.
Calvin Candie: Man, the lip on him. Wooh! He’s getting worse and worse.

Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, this attractive Southern belle is my widowed sister. Darling, you are a tonic for tired eyes.

Stephen: Hildi in The Hot Box.
Calvin Candie: What’s she doing there?
Stephen: What you think she doing there in The Hot Box? She being punished.
Calvin Candie: What she do?
Stephen: She run off again.
Calvin Candie: Jesus Christ, Stephen, how many people ran away while I was gone?
Stephen: Two.

Calvin Candie: Take her out.
Stephen: Take her out? Why?!
Calvin Candie: Because I said so, that’s why. Dr. Schultz is my guest. Hildi is my n*****. Southern hospitality dictates I make her available to him.
Stephen: But, Monsieur Candie, she run off.
Calvin Candie: Jesus Christ, Stephen. What is the point of having a n***** that speaks German if you can’t wheel them out when you have a German guest? Now, I realize it is inconvenient, but still, you take her a** out.
Stephen: Yes, sir.

Dr. King Schultz: [in German] Myself and a mutual friend of ours have gone through a lot of trouble, and rode a lot of miles, to find you, Fraulein, to rescue you. Please drink. Now, it’s myself and our mutual friend’s intention to take you away from here forever.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: [in German] I don’t got any friends.
Dr. King Schultz: [in German] Yes, you do.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: [in German] Who?
Dr. King Schultz: [in German] I can’t tell you. Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: [in German] Where is this friend?
Dr. King Schultz: [in German] Standing right behind that door. Promise me you won’t scream? Say, “I promise.”
Broomhilda Von Shaft: [in German] I promise.
Django: [as the door opens] Hey, Little Trouble Maker.
Dr. King Schultz: [as Broomhilda faints] You silver-tongued devil, you.

Dr. King Schultz: You have to understand, Monsieur Candie, while admittedly a neophyte in the n***** fight game, I do have a little bit of a background in the European traveling circus.
Calvin Candie: Is that right?
Dr. King Schultz: Hence, I have big ideas when it comes to presentation. I need something more than just a big n*****. Yeah, he needs to have panache.
Stephen: Need to have what? What?
Calvin Candie: Panache.
Dr. King Schultz: A sense of showmanship.
Calvin Candie: Showmanship, yes.
Dr. King Schultz: I want to be able to bill him as The Black Hercules.
Calvin Candie: The Black Hercules, isn’t that clever?
Stephen: More like n*****les.

Calvin Candie: Oh, Dr. Schultz, I will have you know there is no one in the n***** fight game that appreciates the value of showmanship more than Monsieur Calvin J. Candie here.
Stephen: Nobody.
Calvin Candie: But one must not forget the most important thing in the n***** fight game. And that is a n***** that can win fights. Now that should be your first, second, third, fourth, and fifth concern. Now, after you have that, and you know you have that, then you can start to implement a grand design. In other words, first thing is first.
Stephen: First thing’s first.

Calvin Candie: [referring to Broomhilda’s] Ooh! I see you two getting on.
Dr. King Schultz: Famously. Oh, Monsieur Candie, you can’t imagine what it’s like not to hear your native tongue in four years.
Calvin Candie: Well, hell, I can’t imagine two weeks in Boston.
Stephen: Two weeks in Boston! Monsieur Candie, you a mess! Two weeks in Boston!
Dr. King Schultz: I can’t express the joy I felt conversing in my mother tongue. And Hildi is a charming conversation companion.
Calvin Candie: Well, be careful now, Dr. Schultz. You might have caught yourself a little dose of n***** love. N***** love’s a powerful emotion, boy. It’s like a pool of black tar. Once it catches your a**, you’re caught.
Stephen: Yes, sir. You stuck.

Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly: I don’t know, doctor. You can lay on all the German sweet talk you want, but it looks like this pony’s got big eyes for Django.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, naturally. It is the soaring eagle that attracts her attention, not the plucked chicken.
Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, don’t be so down on yourself. You are quite the dapper European gentleman.

Stephen: [referring to Django] You know that n*****, don’t you?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: Who?
Stephen: Who? Don’t “who” me, b**ch. You know who I’m talking about.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: At the table? I don’t know him.
Stephen: You don’t know him?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: No.
Stephen: No, what?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: No, sir.
Stephen: You wouldn’t lie to me, now, would you?
Stephen: [as Broomhilda shakes her head] Okay. If you say so.

Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, let me reclarify how this whole negotiation came about. You see, it wasn’t me who came to you to sell a n*****.
Stephen: Sure wasn’t.
Calvin Candie: It was you who approached me to buy one.
Stephen: Sure was.
Calvin Candie: Now, that nine thousand figure Bright Boy’s been bandying about, that ain’t too far off from right. And if I wanted to sell Eskimo Joe for that, I could do so any day of the week.
Stephen: Any day.
Calvin Candie: But, like you said in Greenville, doctor, I don’t want to sell him. It was only your ridiculous offer of twelve thousand that made me even consider it.
Stephen: Mm-hmm.
Dr. King Schultz: You know, Monsieur Candie, you do possess the power of persuasion. Why not! Monsieur Candie, you have a deal. Eskimo Joe, twelve thousand dollars.
Calvin Candie: Hooray, doctor. Hooray. And a wise decision that is.

Dr. King Schultz: To The Black Hercules.
Stephen: You was right, doctor. That name do have pan-a**.

Calvin Candie: Oh, so you haven’t seen her back?
Dr. King Schultz: I haven’t…
Calvin Candie: No, no, no, no. Stephen’s right, you might find this interesting. Hildi, go on, take off your dress. Show Dr. Schultz your back here. Go on.

Calvin Candie: [as he makes Broomhilda show her back] Hildi’s got something like four lashes on her back. Lara Lee just get one, she’d lose her goddamn mind.
Stephen: Sure would.
Calvin Candie: Look at that, doctor. It’s like a painting. Look at that.
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly: Calvin! We are eating. Ain’t no one want to look at her whipped up back.
Calvin Candie: Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine. After dinner, then, Stephen. After dinner. During the brandies, gentlemen, hm?

Stephen: [referring to Django] I said, you said you ain’t know him.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: I don’t.
Stephen: Yes, you do.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: Mr. Stephen, I don’t.
Stephen: Why is you lying to me?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: I ain’t.
Stephen: Then why is you crying?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: You scaring me.
Stephen: Why is I’m scaring you?
Broomhilda Von Shaft: Because you’re scary.

Calvin Candie: Stephen! You just interrupted Dr. Schultz here.
Stephen: I’m sorry, Dr. Schultz. My ears ain’t worth a damn these days.
Calvin Candie: Excuse him.
Stephen: Monsieur Candie, could I get a word with you in the kitchen?
Calvin Candie: You mean get up out of my chair?
Stephen: If you could manage it.
Calvin Candie: Why?
Stephen: It’s about dessert.
Calvin Candie: What about dessert?
Stephen: I’d rather discuss that in private.
Calvin Candie: We’re having white cake! What sort of melodrama could be brewing back there?
Stephen: You right, Monsieur Candie. You right, I’ll handle it myself.

Stephen: [to Calvin, referring to Schultz and Django] They playing your a** for a fool, is what I’m talking about. They ain’t here for no musclebound Jimmie. They here for that girl.

Calvin Candie: Why would they go through all that trouble for a n***** with a, with a chewed up back, ain’t worth three hundred dollars?
Stephen: They doing it because that n***** Django’s in love with Hildi. She probably his wife. Now, why that German gives a f*** who that uppity son of a b**ch is in love with, I’m sure I don’t know.
Calvin Candie: If she’s who they want, why this whole snake oil pitch about Mandingos then?
Stephen: You wouldn’t pay no never mind to no three hundred dollar. But that twelve thousand? That made you real friendly now, didn’t it?
Calvin Candie: Yes, it did. His wife, huh? If it had been a snake, it would have bit me. Those lying goddamn time wasting sons of b**ches. Sons of b**ches!

Dr. King Schultz: [referring to the human skull] Who’s your little friend?
Calvin Candie: This is Ben. He’s an old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy, and my daddy’s daddy. Till he up and keeled over one day, Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a, of huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here, right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. Now, seeing them every day, day in, day out, I only had one question. Why don’t they kill us? Now, right out there on that porch, three times a week for fifty years, Old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now, if I was Old Ben, I woulda cut my daddy’s goddamn throat and it wouldn’t have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not?

Calvin Candie: You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation of our two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or any other subhuman species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you will notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now, if I was holding the skull of an Isaac Newton, or Galileo, these three dimples would be found in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of Old Ben, and in the skull of Old Ben, unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with, servility. Now, Bright Boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here, and I bashed in your skull with it, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as Old Ben.

Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right n***** you’d be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said, “What is your definition of ridiculous?” To which you said, “Twelve thousand dollars.” Now, considering y’all have ridden a whole lot of miles, went through a whole lot of trouble, and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right n*****. And if y’all want to leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price is twelve thousand dollars.
Dr. King Schultz: And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?
Calvin Candie: Yes, I do, doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda here is my property. And I can choose to do with my property whatever I so desire! And if y’all think my price for this n***** here is too steep, what I’m going to desire to do is…
Calvin Candie: [as he threatens to smash Broomhilda’s head with a hammer] Take this goddamn hammer here, and beat her as** to death with it! Right in front of both y’all! Then we can examine the three dimples inside Broomhilda’s skull! Now, what’s it going to be, doc?! Huh?! What’s it going to be?!

Dr. King Schultz: May I lift my hands off the tabletop in order to remove my billfold?!
Calvin Candie: Yes, you may.
Stephen: That twelve.
Calvin Candie: Sold! To the man with the exceptional beard and his unexceptional n*****!

Calvin Candie: You brooding about me getting the best of you, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D’Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin Candie: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexandre Dumas. He wrote The Three Musketeers.
Calvin Candie: Yes, of course, doctor.
Dr. King Schultz: I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel’s lead character. Now, if Alexandre Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie: You doubt he’d approve, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, his approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie: Soft hearted Frenchie.
Dr. King Schultz: Alexandre Dumas is black.

Dr. King Schultz: Broomhilda Von Shaft, consider yourself a free woman.
[Broomhilda looks at Django]

Dr. King Schultz: Mister Candie, normally I would say “auf wiedersehen”. But since what “auf wiedersehen” actually means is “till I see you again”, and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye.

Calvin Candie: It’s a custom here in the South, once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. It implies good faith.
Dr. King Schultz: I’m not from the South.
Calvin Candie: But you are in my house, doctor. So I’m afraid I must insist.
Dr. King Schultz: Insist? On what? That I shake your hand? Oh, then I’m afraid I must insist in the opposite direction.
Calvin Candie: You know what I think you are?
Dr. King Schultz: What you think I am? No, I don’t.
Calvin Candie: I think you are a bad loser.
Dr. King Schultz: And I think you’re an abysmal winner.
Calvin Candie: Nevertheless, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain’t done until the two parties have shook hands. Even after all that paper signing, don’t mean s**t you don’t shake my hand.
Dr. King Schultz: If I don’t shake your hand, you’re going to throw away twelve thousand dollars? I don’t think so.
Calvin Candie: Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this n*****-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her a** down.

Dr. King Schultz: [to Django, after shooting Calvin] I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.

Stephen: [during the shootout] Django!
Django: What?
Stephen: We got your woman! Billy Crash here got his pistol upside her head. You don’t stop all that carrying on, he going to blow her goddamn brains out! And that ain’t no threat, horse boy. That there is a promise. Or, you can give up, throw your gun out, we won’t kill Hildi.
Django: Horses**t!
Stephen: Honest Injun, Django. I swear ‘fore God. You give up, ain’t no harm going to come to her.
Django: And I’m supposed to believe your black a**?
Stephen: Personally, I don’t give a good goddamn what you believe or don’t believe! I believe if you don’t give up in the next ten seconds, we going to blow this b**ch’s brains out! Believe that!

Broomhilda Von Shaft: Just let me go.
Stephen: Seven!
Django: They got too much.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: Django.
Stephen: Eight!
Broomhilda Von Shaft: I love you.
Stephen: Nine!
Django: Hold it!
Broomhilda Von Shaft: No.
Django: I give up.
Stephen: I can’t hear you, n*****.
Django: I said, I give up!

Billy Crash: So y’all bounty hunters, huh? I knew there was something fishy about y’all. We found your wanted posters and book of figures in your saddlebags. I got to say, I ain’t never heard of no black bounty hunter before. Black boy paid to kill white men? How’d you like that line of work? Probably pretty good while it lasted, huh? Time to say good night to them nuts, bla**ie.

Stephen: [to Django] Your black a** has been all them m*therf***ers at The Big House could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk ain’t never had a bright idea in their life was coming up with all kinds of ways to kill your a**. Now, mind you, most of them ideas had to do with f***ing with your fun parts. Now, that may seem like a good idea, but truth is, when you snip a n*****’s nuts, most of them bleed out in, oh, about, hm, seven minutes. Most of them. Well, more than most. Then I says, “S**tfire. The n*****s we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that.” And they still saying, “Let’s whip him to death.” Or, “Throw him to the Mandingos. Feed him to Stonesipher’s dogs.” And I said, “What’s so special about that? We do that s**t all the time. Hells bells, the n*****s we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that.”

Stephen: [to Django] Lo and behold, out of nowhere, Miss Lara come up with the bright idea of giving your a** to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company. And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth, till the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swinging a sledgehammer, turning big rocks into little rocks. Now, when you get there, they going to take away your name, give you a number and a sledgehammer, and say, “Get to work!” One word of sass, they cuts out your tongue. And they good at it too you won’t bleed out. Oh, they does that real good. They going to work ya. All day, every day, till your back give out. Then they’re going to hit you in the head with a hammer, throw your a** down the n***** hole. And that will be the story of you, Django.

Frankie: But you’re a slave.
Django: I ain’t no goddamn slave.
Django: Do I sound like a f***ing slave? Hm?

Django: I’m a bounty hunter. Yesterday, as a free man, I rode into Candyland on a horse with my German white partner, Dr. King Schultz. We tracked the Bacall Gang all the way from Texas to Chickasaw County. We finally found their a** laying low in Candyland. We went in there to get them. Things went sour, my partner got killed. Calvin Candie got shot. Then everybody there decided to blame me, so here I am. But y’all know I ain’t on that manifest and all y’all know I ain’t supposed to be on this trip. But them four men is still back there, they’re still wanted, and that eleven thousand five hundred is up for grabs. And the last thing they’d expect is y’all riding back in there and getting it.
Roy: What’s the deal? You tell us who they are and we turn you loose?
Django: No, no, no, no. I ain’t going to tell you who they are. But, you give me a pistol, one of them horses, and five hundred dollar of that eleven thousand five hundred, and I’ll point them out to you.

Roy: This is a real handbill.
Floyd: Now just because it’s a real handbill doesn’t mean that other bunch of malarkey is.
Roy: Now why would a slave have a “Wanted Dead or Alive” handbill in his pocket?

Roy: Alright. What happened over in Candyland?
Chicken Charlie: Bunch of shooting, master got shot.
Roy: Who shot him?
Chicken Charlie: The German.
Roy: Why did he do that?
Chicken Charlie: N***** and the German was acting like they were slavers, but they wasn’t.
Roy: Well, what were they?
Rodney: Bounty hunters.
Floyd: F*** me, Roy. I mean, this could, this could be big, mate.

Roy: Well, smoke, you got a deal.
Django: I got one more condition.
Roy: What’s that?
Django: When we get there, when time come, you let me help you kill them.
Floyd: Hey. You’re a funny bugger.
Roy: Cut him loose.
Floyd: Yeah, yeah. You got yourself a deal, bla**ie.
Django: [in an Australian accent] You got yourself a deal, mate.

Billy Crash: D-jango! You black son of a b**ch!
Django: [as he shoots Billy in the head] The D is silent, hillbilly.

Django: Stephen, how you like my new duds? You know, before now I didn’t know that burgundy was my color.

Stephen: [referring to the dead bodies] I count six shots, n*****.
Django: I count two guns, n*****.

Django: You said in seventy-six years on this plantation, you seen all manner of s**t done to n*****s. But I notice, you didn’t mention kneecapping.
Stephen: [Django shoots him in the kneecap] Oh, God! M**herf***er! Damn it!
Django: Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many n*****s you think you see come and go, huh? Seven thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie’s mouth was nothing but horses**t. But he was right about one thing, I am that one n***** in ten thousand.
Stephen: [as Django shoots his other kneecap] You son of a b**ch! Aah! You m*therf***er! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill this n*****!

Stephen: You ain’t going to get away with this, Django! They going to catch your black a**. You going to be on the wanted posters now, n*****. Them bounty hunters going to be looking for you. You can run, n*****, but they going to find your a**! And when they do, oh, Lord, what they going to do to your a**! They ain’t going to just kill you, n*****! You done f***ed up! This Candyland, n*****! You can’t destroy Candyland! We been here! There’s always going to be a Candyland!

Django: Hey, Little Trouble Maker.
Broomhilda Von Shaft: Hey, Big Trouble Maker.

Dr. King Schultz: [to Django, flashback] You know what they’re going to call you? The Fastest Gun in the South.

Django: [to Broomhilda, at the burning grounds of Candyland] Let’s get out of here.