Don’t Look Up (2021) Best Movie Quotes

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Rob Morgan, Jonah Hill, Mark Rylance, Tyler Perry, Ron Perlman, Timothée Chalamet, Ariana Grande, Scott Mescudi, Cate Blanchett, Meryl Streep, Himesh Patel, Melanie Lynskey, Michael Chiklis, Tomer Sisley, Matthew Perry, Chris Evans

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Netflix sci-fi black comedy written and directed by Adam McKay. Don’t Look Up (2021) follows two low-level astronomers, Dr. Randall Mindy (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Kate Dibiasky (Jennifer Lawrence), who go on a giant media tour to warn mankind of an approaching comet that will destroy planet Earth.

Read the movie review here.

Our Favorite Quotes:

'Thing of it is, we really did have everything, didn't we? I mean, when you think about it.' - Dr. Randall Mindy (Don't Look Up) Share on X

Best Quotes

Dr. Calder: It’s a professor and a bunch of Michigan State students who identified something big.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Really? How large?
Dr. Calder: How big we talking?
Matthew: We clocked it in around five to ten kilometers wide.
Dr. Calder: About five to ten kilometers wide.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: That’s a big boy.

Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: What are the most updated estimates on its trajectory?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Kate?
Kate Dibiasky: I’ve been running it all day. I keep getting the same result. A direct hit of Earth in six months and fourteen days.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Me too.

Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: And it’s roughly five to ten kilometers wide. Which…
Dr. Randall Mindy: Isn’t that an extinction-level event?
Dr. Calder: Well, let’s not be dramatic here.

Dr. Randall Mindy: This isn’t happening, right? Kate, this isn’t real, right? This is just some sort of alternate reality, right? Say something.
Kate Dibiasky: I got to go get high.

'Not everything needs to sound so clever, or charming, or likeable all the time. Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. We need to hear things.' - Dr. Randall Mindy (Don't Look Up) Share on X

Kate Dibiasky: Are we really about to tell the president of the United States that we have just over six months until humankind, basically every species, is completely extinct?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Yeah. That’s exactly what we’re about to do. Yeah.

Kate Dibiasky: Well, there’s a bunch of stuff about their nominee not being qualified, but I don’t see any articles about our thing.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Social media is just going on and on about that singer Riley Bina and DJ Chello breaking up. That’s just too bad. They seem like sweet kids.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I don’t know them. It’s a shame though. Do you know them, Kate?
Kate Dibiasky: Yes. But I don’t really give a s**t right now.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Oh.

Kate Dibiasky: The snacks are free.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: What?
Kate Dibiasky: The general, he charged us for the snacks. But they’re free.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Oh, gosh.
Kate Dibiasky: Why on earth would he do that?

Phillip: [over phone] She asked you if you were a lesbian. She did not say that you were a lesbian. It was a question.
Kate Dibiasky: Hey, look, can I sit down with your mom to have lunch in like seven months?
Phillip: Seven. That’s weirdly specific and distant. This is my mom.

'A man's always got choices. Sometimes you just got to choose the good one.' Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe (Don't Look Up) Share on X

President Orlean: I heard there’s an asteroid, or a comet, or something, that you don’t like the looks of. Tell me about it, and then tell me why you’re telling me about it. You got twenty minutes.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Twenty minutes?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: That’s you, Doc. Go. Now. Go.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Madam President, approximately thirty-six hours ago, PhD candidate Kate Dibiasky here discovered a very large comet.
President Orlean: Oh. Good for you.
Dr. Randall Mindy: A comet between five to ten kilometers across, that we estimate came from the Oort cloud. Which is the outermost part of the solar system. And using Gauss’s method of orbital determination, and the average astrometric uncertainty of point zero four arcseconds, we then asked…
President Orlean: Woh, woh, woh. What?
Jason Orlean: I’m so bored. Just tell us what it is.

Kate Dibiasky: What Dr. Mindy is trying to say is there’s a comet headed directly towards Earth. And according to NASA’s computers, that object is going to hit the Pacific Ocean at sixty-two miles due west off the coast of Chile.
Jason Orlean: Then what happens? Like a tidal wave?
Dr. Randall Mindy: No. It will be far more catastrophic. There will be mile-high tsunamis fanning out all across the globe. If this comet makes impact, it will have the power of a billion Hiroshima bombs. There will be magnitude ten or eleven earthquakes.
Jason Orlean: You’re breathing weird. It’s making me uncomfortable.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I’m sorry, I’m just trying to articulate the science.
Jason Orlean: I know. But it’s like so stressful. I’m trying to like listen.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. I’m trying to articulate it the best I can.

Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Madam President, this comet is what we call a planet-killer.
Dr. Randall Mindy: That is correct.
President Orlean: So how certain is this?
Dr. Randall Mindy: There’s one hundred percent certainty of impact.
President Orlean: Please, don’t say a hundred percent.
Secretary of the Interior: Can we just call it a potentially significant event?
Kate Dibiasky: But it isn’t potentially going to happen. It is going to happen.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Exactly. Ninety-nine point seven eight percent, to be exact.
Jason Orlean: Oh, great. Okay, so it’s not a hundred percent.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Well, scientists never like to say one hundred percent.
President Orlean: Call it seventy percent, and let’s just, let’s move on.
Kate Dibiasky: But it’s not even close to seventy percent.
President Orlean: You cannot go around saying to people that there’s a hundred percent chance that they’re going to die. You know? It’s just nuts.

President Orlean: We should get some of our scientists on this. You know, no offense. But you’re just two people that walked in here with…
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Dr. Oglethorpe.
President Orlean: Dr. Ogilvy. Yeah.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: I’ve been head of planetary defense at NASA for fifteen years. And Dr. Mindy is a tenured professor of astronomy at Michigan State, where Miss Dibiasky is a doctoral candidate.
President Orlean: Good.
Jason Orlean: I’m sorry. Did you say Michigan State?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Exactly. They have an excellent astronomy department.
Jason Orlean: Come on, bro.
Kate Dibiasky: Are you kidding? You want to see my f***ing SAT scores?

President Orlean: The timing is just, it’s atrocious. Okay, at this very moment, I say we sit tight and assess.
Jason Orlean: Sit tight and assess.

'Everything is theoretically impossible until it is done. And with that, we are go for launch.' - Dr. Randall Mindy (Don't Look Up) Share on X

Kate Dibiasky: Am I to understand correctly that, after all of the information you’ve received today, the decision you’re making is to “sit tight and assess”?
Jason Orlean: I’m sorry. Who is she?
Kate Dibiasky: Who the f*** are you? Aren’t you her son?
Jason Orlean: I’m the f***ing Chief of Staff, Boy with the Dragon Tattoo. So I’m doing fine.
Kate Dibiasky: [quietly to Mindy] We got to get out of here. This place is a freak show.

President Orlean: Okay, funny story. When I was running for president, I had to sneak cigarettes for the whole first month of the campaign because, you know, photographs of me smoking went for, what, a hundred grand a pop? So, I’m always hiding, but, you know, I just got sick of it. And I just said, “You know what, I’m going to smoke whenever I want to.” Guess what happened? I went up three points in the polls.
Jason Orlean: They loved that she kept it real. They love watching a smokeshow smoke. I can’t think of another president that I’d ever want to see in Playboy.

President Orlean: Do you know how many “the world is ending” meetings that we’ve had over the years? Economic collapse, loose nukes, car exhaust killing the atmosphere. Rogue AI.
Jason Orlean: Drought, famine, plague.
President Orlean: Everything.
Jason Orlean: Alien invasion, population growth, hole in the ozone.
President Orlean: Jason, hey. Read the room for once in your life.
Jason Orlean: Sorry, mom.

Dr. Randall Mindy: You’re saying we’re just going to leak it to the press? Isn’t that illegal?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Hell, yeah. We’re going to leak it. In case you didn’t notice, the White House just blew us off.

'The truth is way more depressing.' - Kate Dibiasky (Don't Look Up) Share on X

Dr. Randall Mindy: I just feel like this isn’t what I do. You know?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: You’re just telling a story. Keep it simple. No math.
Dr. Randall Mindy: But it’s all math.

Dr. Randall Mindy: I just have a question here. How is it criminal if we just tell people, like the public, you know, what we saw, and tell them the truth? Right?
Benjamin: Make sure this one gets some kind of media training before he hits the shows. He seems a step slow.
Dr. Randall Mindy: What does that mean, I need media training?

Dr. Randall Mindy: You guys know what The Daily Rip is?
Phillip: It’s like the best show. Everyone wants to be on it. Brie and Jack, they’ve got legendary chemistry. They asked me to go on once. I was so excited I couldn’t sleep for two nights, but then they cut me for time. Still hurts me to think about that.

Chief Editor Paula Woods: [referring to Mindy and Kate] White House is denying they even met with them.
Adul Grelio: Well, a**holes will always be a**holes.

Kate Dibiasky: They know what we’re here to talk about, right?
Sean: Of course. Jack and Brie love doing science segments. Just remember, keep it light, fun. Jack and Brie love having a good time.
Kate Dibiasky: Well, that’s not promising.

'We ask for Your grace tonight, despite our pride. Your forgiveness, despite our doubt. We ask for Your love to soothe us through these dark times. May we face whatever is to come in Your divine will with courage and open hearts.' Share on X

Riley Bina: You guys discovered a comet? That’s so dope. I have a tattoo of a shooting star on my back.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Oh. That’s terrific.

Dr. Randall Mindy: We heard about your breakup too. So we just want to say, we’re very sorry, right? We’re real sorry. You seem like a great person.
Riley Bina: Why don’t you mind your own business, you old f***?

Jack Bremmer: Can I ask you one thing before we go any further? I just have to know this. Is there life out there? Can you tell us? Yes or no, final answer.
Dr. Randall Mindy: We don’t have the data. But sure, in the vastness of space, why not? Yes, aliens are real.
Jack Bremmer: See, I knew I would like this guy. Didn’t I tell? You owe me fifty bucks.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I’m not saying there’s little green men in flying saucers.

Kate Dibiasky: I saw something I didn’t recognize. It was a comet. A big one. It’s headed directly at Earth, and it really likely will hit.
Jack Bremmer: This sounds very, very exciting. Exploding stars, like stars actually explode. So, how big is this thing? Can it destroy someone’s house? Is that possible?

'There's dope stuff, like material stuff, like sick apartments, and watches, and cars, and clothes, and s**t, that could all go away, and I don't want to see that stuff go away. So I'm going to say a prayer for that stuff. Amen.' Share on X

Dr. Randall Mindy: It would damage the entire planet. Not just a house, you know?
Jack Bremmer: The entire planet. Okay, well, as it’s damaging, will it hit this one house in particular, that’s right on the coast of New Jersey? It’s my ex-wife’s house. I need it to be here. Can we make that happen?
Brie Evantee: You and Shelly have a great relationship. Stop. You need to stop.
Jack Bremmer: I will, but in all fairness, I actually paid for the house.

Kate Dibiasky: I’m sorry. Are we not being clear? We’re trying to tell you, that the entire planet is about to be destroyed.
Jack Bremmer: Okay.
Brie Evantee: Well, it’s, you know, it’s something we do around here. We just keep the bad news light.
Jack Bremmer: Right. It helps the medicine go down.

See more Don't Look Up Quotes

Kate Dibiasky: [on Brie and Jack’s show] Well, maybe the destruction of the entire planet isn’t supposed to be fun. Maybe it’s supposed to be terrifying, and unsettling. And you should stay up all night, every night crying, when we’re all one hundred percent for sure going to f***ing die!

Dr. Randall Mindy: [after Kate walks off] Maybe I should have given her that extra Xanax that I had.
Jack Bremmer: Listen, if you don’t have enough, we all have enough around here for her.
Brie Evantee: A spoonful of Xanax makes the medicine go down, right?

Brie Evantee: Well, the handsome astronomer can come back anytime. But the yelling lady, not so much.
Jack Bremmer: Not so much.

Dr. Randall Mindy: Did what we wanted to say come across?
Jack Bremmer: No, it’s over. You were great. But I think mullet girl, she probably needs some media training.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Really?
Jack Bremmer: Yeah. No, terrible, buddy.

Dr. Randall Mindy: Why aren’t people terrified? What do we have to say? What do we have to do?!

Adul Grelio: Dr. Jocelyn Calder, the head of NASA, just came out calling it “more near-miss hysteria”.
Kate Dibiasky: She’s the one who told us not to say anything.
Adul Grelio: “More near-miss hysteria”!
Kate Dibiasky: Is she even an astronomer?
Adul Grelio: She’s the head of NASA, but maybe she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Yeah, she’s the head of NASA. But look, she’s a “former anesthesiologist, and a President Orlean super donor”. It’s all corrupt.

Kate Dibiasky: We have precisely six months, ten days, two hours, eleven minutes, and forty-one seconds, until a comet twice the size of Chicxulub tears through our atmosphere, and extincts all life on Earth.
Dr. Randall Mindy: When did you do those calculations?
Kate Dibiasky: I put the moment of impact on a diet app. So, impact is when my diet ends. Only I’m not on a diet. I’m just crying five times a day.

FBI Agent: FBI! Freeze! Get on your knees right now! Get on your knees! You’re under arrest for breach of national security secrets.
Kate Dibiasky: Jesus Christ! You could’ve just called me. Or showed up to my apartment. What are you, dressed up as a blind guy?

Kate Dibiasky: Unless you a**holes are taking me to the Batcave, f*** you for putting this hood on me!

President Orlean: I think it was Winston Churchill, or maybe it was Bobby Knight who said, “The great labor of leadership is to lay down one’s yoke of pride and admit that mistakes were made.”
Jason Orlean: You were deceived, as was I. But the end result was, we had our scientists, who went to the prestigious schools of Harvard, Princeton, et cetera. They confirmed the data. So we would like to offer you a Presidential apology.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Really?

Kate Dibiasky: So, basically, what you’re saying is, you’re about to lose the midterms, because you got caught sending pictures of your cooch to your porn-star sheriff boyfriend. So now it’s to your advantage to act on the comet?
President Orlean: Right.

Jason Orlean: People are going to ask why we didn’t act earlier. So you’re going to have to take the hit on this one.
President Orlean: Yeah, but we’ll take care of you down the road, Jocelyn.
Dr. Calder: Of course, Janie. I will resign in disgrace first thing tomorrow.
Kate Dibiasky: That’s weird as hell.
Dr. Randall Mindy: She’s an anesthesiologist.

President Orlean: But we’re going to need a hero. We’re going to need a pilot, real guns, and…
Dr. Randall Mindy: Shouldn’t this mission be accomplished using remote technology?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Washington’s always got to have a hero.

Benedict Drask: [as we see him giving his speech] Some are saying this is a suicide mission. Well, all I ask is, if I get snuffed, that you all earn the extra living that my sacrifice gives you.
President Orlean: “The extra living my sacrifice gives them.” Right?
Jason Orlean: I wrote that.
Kate Dibiasky: Isn’t that from Saving Private Ryan?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Yes. Yes.
Jason Orlean: No, that’s something totally different.

Kate Dibiasky: I didn’t vote for you. But this is obviously much bigger than my misgivings. So I will be one hundred percent behind this effort. No matter how offensive I may find you.
President Orlean: Wow. That’s great.
Jason Orlean: Yeah. That’s really nice. You know, I did have the FBI put that bag over your head. They don’t do that. The CIA does, but I made them do it.
Kate Dibiasky: You know, I had a feeling. I really did.
Jason Orlean: It’s a good feeling, because that is what I did. And it was very funny and cool.

Brie Evantee: [as they’re kissing] Tell me we’re all going to die.
Dr. Randall Mindy: What?
Brie Evantee: Tell me we’re all going to die, do it.
Dr. Randall Mindy: We’re all going to die. Oh, boy.

Kate Dibiasky: Mr. Pawketty, Congressman, this data has been proven, and has been peer-reviewed by hundreds of world-renowned scientists.
Congressman Tenant: And we’re supposed to trust you? The comet’s got your name.
Kate Dibiasky: I don’t see the relevancy. That just doesn’t make sense.
Dan Pawketty: Why won’t you answer the question? Answer the question.
Kate Dibiasky: What’s the question?

Brie Evantee: My grandfather invented the flash-freezing process. So I come from grotesque money, but I got away from it by getting three masters degrees. I’ve been divorced twice. One was a Secretary of State, and the other one was a sport fisherman. I have slept with two former presidents. I speak four languages, and I own two Monets.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Wow. Two former presidents. Wow.

Dr. Randall Mindy: [to Brie] My father was a middle school geography teacher. My mother, she cut hair out of the kitchen. About two years ago, our family dog, JoJo, died, which was really, really emotional. I can’t remember crying that much ever. And I finally got my Star Wars poster signed by Mark Hamill. It’s in the garage.

President Orlean: Commander Drask, this is your president speaking. Your nation thanks you. Your planet thanks you. And God and I thank you.
Benedict Drask: Well, listen, the only thanks I need is a shot of Jack Daniels. And a couple DUIs to magically go away.

Dr. Randall Mindy: Citizens of planet Earth, everything is theoretically impossible until it is done. And with that, we are go for launch.

Jason Orlean: [after the spaceship returns] Things are extremely fluid. Dr. Randall, you are now the Chief Science Advisor to the White House.
Dr. Randall Mindy: What?
Jason Orlean: As such, you need to attend an emergency Cabinet meeting where you will be fully debriefed.
Kate Dibiasky: What about us?
Jason Orlean: You do not have clearance for this, sweetheart. Don’t trip. Got you some crackers, some waters.
Dr. Randall Mindy: You don’t need to throw it on the floor.
Jason Orlean: Going to be three, four hours, tops.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Here, Kate. I don’t know why he threw them down. Here.
Kate Dibiasky: What if we have to go to the bathroom?
Jason Orlean: We’ll lay out some newspaper for you. Grab you a can of Febreze.

Peter Isherwell: When the other metals are factored in, the comet actually contains almost a hundred and forty trillion dollars worth of assets.
Jason Orlean: Buck forty trilli.
Dr. Randall Mindy: What do these trillions of dollars even matter if we’re all going to die from the impact of the comet?
Secretary of Education: I was about to ask the same question, Janie.
Secretary of Interior: Why weren’t we consulted?
Secretary of State: And all due respect, Madam President…
Jason Orlean: [sarcastically] Oh, no! What if we’re rich and we’re safe?

Kate Dibiasky: I’ve gone over it again, and again, and again in my head, and I still can’t make sense of it. He’s a three-star general. He works at the Pentagon. Why would he charge us for free snacks?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: One time, I met Sting, and I swear to God, he farted right in front of me. Didn’t break eye contact, and didn’t even say “excuse me”. And the thing is, he actually pulled it off. Because I still found him to be quite charming.

Kate Dibiasky: This is a nine kilometer wide planet killer we’re talking about, not roaming charges.

Dr. Randall Mindy: You want me to quit the mission? I’ll quit the mission. That’s fine. But you have to understand, this is now beyond our control. They have all the power. So who do you want in the actual room to make sure this whole thing doesn’t turn out to be a complete goddamn disaster? Jason Orlean? You want Jason Orlean in that room? Huh?
Kate Dibiasky: I have news for you. It’s already a complete disaster! They’re talking about letting a comet the size of a mountain hit the planet to jack up a cell phone company’s stock!

Kate Dibiasky: [to the people in the bar] Do you really want to know what’s going on?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Oglethorpe Kate, don’t. Kate.
Kate Dibiasky: They found a bunch of gold, and diamonds, and rare s**t on the comet. So they’re going to let it hit the planet to make a bunch of rich people even more disgustingly rich!

Dr. Randall Mindy: You want to overthrow the government? I mean, look at this.
Kate Dibiasky: I can’t! My head is in a bag!

Dr. Randall Mindy: Teddy, come on! What choice do I have here?
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: A man’s always got choices, Randall! Sometimes you just got to choose the good one!

Brie Evantee: Oh, can we just skip past this part, please? Where you get to feel self-righteous, and we put our tails between our legs. It is just so boring.
June Mindy: Oh, it’s “so boring”? You want to skip the part where you feel bad for screwing my husband?
Brie Evantee: Oh, no, I don’t feel bad. Randall and I are having a wonderful time. So, I think the question is, do we keep having a wonderful time, or does he go back with you to Wisconsin? Or Montana. Michigan?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Michigan.

June Mindy: Well, before I go, let me just give you some instructions on how to take care of Randall. Yeah, here’s the Xanax he takes for his panic attacks.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Oh, gosh.
June Mindy: Here’s the Zoloft he takes for the crashing depressions.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Not so much recently. Okay, you know.
June Mindy: Oh! Oh, good for you. Great. This is for his blood pressure. Restless leg syndrome, that’s a fun one. Oh. Appetite suppressant to counteract the weight gain from his other meds. And for America’s sexiest scientist, a bottle of goddamn Cialis!

June Mindy: Goodbye, Randall. I guess I’ll just tell your sons that Dad’s f***ing the lady on our television.

Yule: Are you that girl from live TV who said we’re all going to die?
Kate Dibiasky: No. What’s your purchase?

Peter Isherwell: [to Mindy] Our algorithms can even predict how you’ll die. To ninety-six point five percent accuracy. I looked you up after we met. Your death was so unremarkable and boring. I can’t remember the details, apart from one thing. You’re going to die alone. Alone.

Yule’s Friend: Isherwell built an underground bunker for him and all his executives.
Teen Girl Friend: No, I heard that they built an escape ship.
Kate Dibiasky: You guys, the truth is way more depressing. They’re not even smart enough to be as evil as you’re giving them credit for.

Dr. Randall Mindy: [on Brie and Jack’s show] Would you please just stop being so f***ing pleasant? I’m sorry, but not everything needs to sound so goddamn clever, or charming, or likeable all the time. Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. We need to hear things.

Dr. Randall Mindy: [on Brie and Jack’s show] Look, let’s establish, once again, that there is a huge comet headed towards Earth. And the reason we know that there is a comet is because we saw it. We saw it with our own eyes using a telescope. I mean, for God’s sake, we took a f***ing picture of it! What other proof do we need?! And if we can’t all agree at the bare minimum that a giant comet the size of Mount Everest hurtling its way towards planet Earth is not a f***ing good thing, then what the hell happened to us? I mean, my God. How do we even talk to each other? What’ve we done to ourselves? How do we fix it?

Brie Evantee: This would be a good time to establish that Isherwell and the president have both said that there’s benefits to be had…
Dr. Randall Mindy: Right, well, the president of the United States is f***ing lying! Look, I’m just like all of you. I hope to God, I hope to God that this president knows what she’s doing. I hope she’s got us all taken care of. But the truth is, I think this whole administration has completely lost their f***ing mind! And I think we’re all going to die!

Brie Evantee: Why did you do that? I really liked you, and I despise most people.
Dr. Randall Mindy: [with a bag over his head] You know, I really thought I loved you.
Brie Evantee: Really? Wow. That’s wild.

Kate Dibiasky: Well, maybe he just gets off on the power, you know, like any kind of power. It’s like he knew eventually that I was going to find out that the snacks were free. You know what I mean? So it was just like a power play.
Yule: Yeah, guys are weird.

Yule: I don’t know. I’m starting to think that all this “end of the world” stuff is bulls**t.
Kate Dibiasky: Well, it’s not. It’s definitely happening. I’ve seen it.
Yule: Yeah. I don’t know. I feel like if God wanted to destroy the Earth, He would destroy the Earth.

Yule: Want to make out?
Kate Dibiasky: Yeah, why not?
Yule: Can you not say “why not”? It makes me feel like you don’t want it. It’s s**tty.
Kate Dibiasky: Sure, whatever.
Yule: That’s better.

Kate Dibiasky: Doc, you can see it.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I’m looking at it right now too. It’s unbelievable. It’s horrific and it’s beautiful at the same time.

Dr. Randall Mindy: [on a children’s show] Kids, listen to me. You tell your parents that President Orlean and Isherwell are sociopaths and fascists!

President Orlean: And do you know why they want you to look up? Do you know why? Because they want you to be afraid. They want you to look up because they are looking down their noses at you. They think they’re better than you.

Reporter: Now, I know a lot of Hollywood is supporting the Just Look Up movement, but I haven’t seen a pin like that.
Devin Peters: Yeah. Yeah, this pin points both up and down. Because I think, as a country, we need to stop arguing and virtue signaling. Just get along.
Reporter: That is so refreshing. I think we’re all tired of the politics.
Devin Peters: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, that’s why we made Total Devastation. It’s for everyone. You know? It’s a popcorn movie.

Jason Orlean: There’s three types of American people. There are you, the working class. Us, the cool rich. And then them. I’m sorry, but we need them. We need them because you build us up to fight them. The working class, the lower.

Yule: Dr. Mindy, can I be vulnerable in your car?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Yeah, go ahead.
Yule: [to Kate] I’ve met a lot of people, but I’ve never met anyone like you, and I feel a connection to you on a level that, I don’t know, I haven’t felt with anyone else. And I’m going out on a limb, but would you want to spend more time together? Like maybe even get engaged or something?
Dr. Randall Mindy: Wow.
Yule: Are you laughing? No?
Kate Dibiasky: I’m smiling. Well, sure. Why not?
Dr. Randall Mindy: This is sweet. This is pretty sweet.

President Orlean: And you read the tea leaves for Dr. Mindy. You showed him the algorithm. You really shook him with that information. How he was going to die.
Peter Isherwell: Yeah, it is shaking.
President Orlean: It got me so excited to know about my own death. I don’t think I want to know. Yes, I do. I want to to know.
Peter Isherwell: You’re going to be eaten by a Bronteroc. We don’t know what it means.

Jason Orlean: I’ve been noticing a lot of prayers recently for people during this time, and I commend that, but I also want to give a prayer for stuff. There’s dope stuff, like material stuff, like sick apartments, and watches, and cars, and clothes, and s**t, that could all go away, and I don’t want to see that stuff go away. So I’m going to say a prayer for that stuff. Amen.

Yule: Nice to meet you. I’m Yule.
June Mindy: Yule.
Yule: I’m FirePuma142 on Twitch. You game?
Kate Dibiasky: It’s really doubtful she knows.
Yule: You’re right.
June Mindy: Who said I game?

Dr. Randall Mindy: I’m so sorry. You have no idea. I really am.
June Mindy: I know. I know. I’ve missed you.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I missed you so much.
June Mindy: When we dated in college, I f***ed Aaron Tran.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Oh?
June Mindy: Yeah, so.

President Orlean: [over phone] Hello, there’s a ship. In case we were wrong, and clearly, we were wrong.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Of course you’ve got a ship.
President Orlean: It holds two thousand. It’s state of the art cryo-chambers, and it’s set to find the nearest Earth-like planet in a Goldilocks Zone so. There’s room for you, and one other. Brie, your wife, your call.
Dr. Randall Mindy: I’m good. But thank you for the offer. You have fun with Jason.
President Orlean: Jason? Oh, s**t.
[we see Jason’s been left behind]

Yule: Dearest Father and Almighty Creator, we ask for Your grace tonight, despite our pride. Your forgiveness, despite our doubt. Most of all, Lord. We ask for Your love to soothe us through these dark times. May we face whatever is to come in Your divine will with courage and open hearts of acceptance. Amen.
Dr. Teddy Oglethorpe: Amen. Wow. Youse got some church game.
Kate Dibiasky: That was beautiful.

Jack Bremmer: Sit. Or we can f***, or pray, or…
Brie Evantee: Honestly, I think I’d just rather drink and talk s**t about people.

Dr. Randall Mindy: Thing of it is, we really did have everything, didn’t we? I mean, when you think about it.

President Orlean: [22,740 years later after landing on an alien planet] Look at that beautiful animal. I wonder, are those feathers, or are they scale…
Congressman Tenant: [as Bronteroc start attacking Orlean’s] That’s disgusting. What is that thing?
Peter Isherwell: I believe that’s called a Bronteroc. Whatever you do, don’t pet them!

Jason Orlean: [post-credits lines] What’s up, y’all? I’m the last man on Earth. S**t’s all f***ed up. Don’t forget to like and subscribe. We out here. Mom!

Trailer:

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