Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Rob Morgan, Jonah Hill, Mark Rylance, Tyler Perry, Ron Perlman, Timothée Chalamet, Ariana Grande, Scott Mescudi, Cate Blanchett, Meryl Streep, Himesh Patel, Melanie Lynskey, Michael Chiklis, Tomer Sisley, Matthew Perry, Chris Evans
Netflix sci-fi black comedy written and directed by Adam McKay. Don’t Look Up (2021) follows two low-level astronomers, Dr. Randall Mindy (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Kate Dibiasky (Jennifer Lawrence), who go on a giant media tour to warn mankind of an approaching comet that will destroy planet Earth.
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We’ll add the best quotes once the movie is released and we’ve had a chance to watch it, but for now, here’s a small selection.
Dr. Randall Mindy: [hyperventilating] You’re here now. You are here now. You’re here now. You’re here now.
President Janie Orlean: I heard there’s an asteroid, or a comet, or something, that you don’t like the looks of. Tell me about it. You got twenty minutes.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Twenty minutes?
Dr. Clayton ‘Teddy’ Oglethorpe: Go.
Dr. Randall Mindy: A comet between five to ten kilometers across, that we estimate, came from the Oort cloud. And using Gauss’s method of orbital determination, and the average astrometric uncertainty of point zero…
President Janie Orlean: Woh, woh, woh.
Jason Orlean: I’m so bored. Just tell us what it is.
Dr. Randall Mindy: What?
Jason Orlean: Just seriously stop.
Kate Dibiasky: Dr. Mindy is trying to say is that there’s a comet headed directly towards Earth.
Jason Orlean: Then what happens? Like a tidal wave?
Dr. Randall Mindy: It will be far more catastrophic. There will be mile-high tsunamis.
President Janie Orlean: So how certain is this?
Dr. Randall Mindy: There’s a one hundred percent certainty of impact.
President Janie Orlean: Please, don’t say a hundred percent.
Secretary of the Interior: Can we just call it a potentially significant event?
Kate Dibiasky: But it isn’t potentially going to happen.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Ninety-nine point seven eight percent, to be exact.
Jason Orlean: Oh, great. Okay, so it’s not a hundred percent.
President Janie Orlean: Do you know how many “the world is ending” meetings we’ve had over the last two years?
Jason Orlean: Drought, famine, hole in the ozone. It’s so boring.
President Janie Orlean: I’m going to call it seventy percent, and let’s just, let’s move on.
Kate Dibiasky: But it’s not even close to seventy percent.
Jason Orlean: Let’s just use like sixty percent as a working number.
President Janie Orlean: Okay, we’re going to get our own scientists on this. You know, no offense.
Dr. Clayton ‘Teddy’ Oglethorpe: Dr. Mindy is a tenured professor of astronomy at Michigan State.
Jason Orlean: Sorry, did you say Michigan State?
Dr. Clayton ‘Teddy’ Oglethorpe: Exactly. They have an excellent astronomy department.
Jason Orlean: If you say so.
Kate Dibiasky: You want to see my SAT scores?
Jason Orlean: I’m sorry, who is she?
Kate Dibiasky: Aren’t you her son?
Jason Orlean: I’m Chief of Staff, boy with the dragon tattoo. So I’m doing fine.
Kate Dibiasky: How many tampons can you fit in that bag?
Jason Orlean: As many as I want.
President Janie Orlean: At this very moment, I say we sit tight and assess.
Jason Orlean: Sit tight and assess.
Dr. Randall Mindy: Sit tight and assess?
Kate Dibiasky: You want us to sit tight?
Jason Orlean: And then assess.
Jason Orlean: Your breathing is stressing me out.
Dr. Randall Mindy: This will affect the entire planet.
Jason Orlean: I know, but it’s like so stressful.
Dr. Randall Mindy: [to the waiter] Can I get one more ice water?
Kate Dibiasky: And I’ll get two glasses of white wine. And I don’t need the judgy face.