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Starring: Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regé-Jean Page, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, Hugh Grant
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Fantasy action adventure comedy, based on the tabletop role-playing game, directed and co-written by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) follows a charming thief, Elgin (Chris Pine), and a band of unlikely adventurers, Holga (Michelle Rodriguez), Xenk (Regé-Jean Page), Simon (Justice Smith), and Doric (Sophia Lillis), that undertake an epic heist to retrieve a lost relic. But things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.
Our Favorite Quotes:'We must never stop failing, because the minute we do, we've failed.' - Edgin (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Edgin: Let’s show you around. Get you situated here. This is the bucket where our pee freezes. And, yeah, that’s it.
Edgin: Holga doesn’t love to be disturbed while she’s eating her potatoes. Kind of the highlight of her day.
Edgin: My wife would always say, “You don’t have to give us everything, you only have to give us you.”
Edgin: Holga was a fellow resident of rock bottom.
Edgin: [referring to Holga] We quickly became like brother and sister. With a relationship built on trust and mutual respect. Neither of us had money, or an honest way to earn it, so we decided to table “honest” and we tried something new.
Edgin: It’s intoxicating when you realize that what separates you from what you’ve always wanted can be as thin as a pane of glass.
Edgin: [referring to Kira] I didn’t tell her about the tablet. It would break her heart if it all went to s**t. And, well, to s**t it went.
Barkeep: Some supper for you and your wife?
Edgin: What? No. She’s not my wife. That’s so gross.
Holga: Me with that? With those lips?
'Never put your trust in a con man.' - Forge (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Holga: [referring to Marlamin] It’s not about what he wants. Okay. It’s about closure.
Edgin: He sent you a letter saying he wasn’t your husband anymore. Wasn’t that closure?
Holga: You wouldn’t understand.
Edgin: I don’t. I clearly, clearly don’t.
Edgin: What’s wrong with my lips?
Holga: They’re too big for your face.
Edgin: What? A lot of people like my lips.
Forge: [to Edgin] Do I spy a little bit of gray? I do. I like it. It’s scoundrelly, but professorial.
Forge: [to Edgin] You look like a well-read fisherman with secrets.
Forge: [to Edgin] Look, I know how much you crave her forgiveness. But I promise you, more lies is not the way.
'I hate how everyone thinks that you can solve any problem with magic. There are limits. This isn't some bedtime story. This is the real world.' - Simon (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Forge: I never actually saw the appeal of being a father till I became one. But to have another person look up to you and allow you to shape them in your own image. It’s a bit like a god! Well, hang on. I’m a god and a lord. I am really doing alright!
Holga: We need to think of our own hides right now.
Edgin: Yeah. You got this, right?
Holga: I know you don’t.
Holga: [referring to the blade] What do you clean it with?
Executioner: You’re about to lose your head. This is what you’re concerned with?
Holga: If you wouldn’t mind.
Executioner: Boiled linseed oil. Once a month.
Holga: Should be once a week. That’s why you’re getting rust on the bit. Okay. Chop it off.
Edgin: Chop it off. Let’s do it.
Holga: We could shoot an arrow with a message into her room.
Edgin: What if it hits her?
Holga: That’s a risk we’re going to have to take.
Edgin: Killing my daughter with an arrow? No, it’s not.
'Oftentimes, the most onerous decision a leader can take is when to retreat.' - Stanhard Grimwulf Corpse (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Edgin: We’re going to need a team.
Holga: Team? Who’s going to help us out?
Simon: This is quite hard to be slightly blurry like this, you know. Anyone can be very blurry. But to be slightly blurry, that’s the real magic.
Simon: [referring to Sofina] Her magic is on a whole other level.
Edgin: Don’t sell yourself short. We saw your show.
Holga: Yeah. You can hit her with that fresh-cut grass trick.
Simon: I know a druid. Doric. She’s truly one of a kind.
Edgin: Sounds romantic in nature.
Simon: Yeah. For me it was. She, however, found my lack of self-esteem unattractive.
Holga: Not your best trait.
Simon: [to Doric] Simon Aumar. Sorcerer. I courted you. You said I made you feel sad. Not from anything I did, just from who I was.
'Just because that sentence is symmetrical doesn't make it not nonsense.' - Edgin (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Doric: As you can imagine, I don’t trust humans. I find you to be hateful and selfish.
Edgin: Well, I’m finding you to be a little mean.
Simon: If it helps, I’m only half-human.
Doric: But you’re a bad sorcerer.
Doric: The only way to succeed in this is to have confidence that it can be done. He doesn’t.
Simon: Yeah. I suppose that’s fair.
Edgin: Look, Simon may not have my wit, or Holga’s strength, but when it counts, this young man delivers. It’s why I chose him.
Holga: He’s also the only sorcerer you know.
Edgin: Holga, not helpful.
Doric: What is it exactly that you bring to this?
Edgin: Me? I’m a planner. You know? I make plans.
Doric: You’ve already made the plan. So what value do you have now?
Edgin: If the plan fails, the existing plan, I make a new plan.
Doric: So you make plans that fail.
Holga: He also plays the lute.
Edgin: Holga, not relevant. Trust me, I’m indispensable.
'Irony is a blade that cuts he who wields it most especially.' - Xenk (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Forge: Lord Neverember and I are very different men. For example, I prefer to be up and about. He prefers to be in a vegetative state.
Edgin: You can do it. I know you can.
Simon: You saying that doesn’t make it so.
Edgin: Yeah, but you saying it does.
Simon: But I can’t.
Edgin: But you can.
Simon: But I won’t.
Edgin: Just say it.
Holga: We could just ask them where it went.
Simon: That battle was a century ago. They’re all dead.
Holga: So? Ask them with magic.
Doric: He just made a whole speech how he can’t fix everything with magic.
Simon: Actually, that is something I can do.
'You humans. You just can't help but lie.' - Doric (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Simon: I have this token that lets me ask corpses some questions, and then they go back to being dead.
Simon: Yeah, it’s fairly horrible.
Edgin: It’s fairly wonderful.
Simon: Once the dead man is revived, we can ask him five questions, at which point, he will die again, never to be re-revived.
Doric: Why five questions?
Simon: I don’t know. That’s just how it works.
Doric: Seems arbitrary.
Simon: [screams after the corpse is revived] I wasn’t scared. Merely startled.
Edgin: Here we go. Were you killed in the The Battle of the Evermoors?
‘Yes’ Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Great! I mean, you know, not for you. Sorry for your loss.
Edgin: [to Simon] Four more questions, right?
‘Yes’ Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: No. No. That wasn’t for you.
Edgin: [to Simon] Did that count as a question?
‘Yes’ Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Dammit. Only answer when I talk to you. Okay?
‘Yes’ Corpse: Yes.
Simon: Why did you say “okay” at the end of that?
‘Yes’ Corpse: I didn’t.
Edgin: [as the corpse dies again] Fantastic. Where is the shovel?
'You are at your strongest when you think you're at your weakest.' - Edgin (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Click To Tweet
Simon: Aren’t you going to ask him the last three questions?
Edgin: Ask him what? He already told us everything he knows.
Simon: Well, you can’t just leave him like that. Look at the poor bloke.
Edgin: Oh, fine. What’s your favorite food?
Toke Horgath Corpse: Oats. No, barley!
Edgin: Oh, boy. Do you like cats?
Toke Horgath Corpse: Not really.
Edgin: Okay. What’s two plus two?
Toke Horgath Corpse: I’m bad at math.
Simon: [as the corpse dies again] Don’t you feel better?
Holga: He fought with my cousin in the Anauroch. He says he’s a good man.
Edgin: Well, you can all go find this lovely Xenk and braid each other’s hair.