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Home / Best Quotes / Jo Koy’s Easter Sunday (2022) Best Movie Quotes

Jo Koy’s Easter Sunday (2022) Best Movie Quotes

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Starring: Jo Koy, Jimmy O. Yang, Tia Carrere, Brandon Wardell, Lydia Gaston, Eva Noblezada, Asif Ali, Rodney To, Eugene Cordero, Jay Chandrasekhar, Tiffany Haddish, Lou Diamond Phillips

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story:

Comedy directed by Jay Chandrasekhar. Easter Sunday (2022) follows Joe Valencia (Jo Koy), who is returning home with his son (Brandon Wardell), for an Easter celebration with his riotous, bickering, eating, drinking, laughing, loving family.

 

Our Favorite Quotes:

'It's so easy to forget where you came from. Sometimes you need to come home to remember what matters.' - Lou Diamond Phillips (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes


 

Joe Valencia: Filipino moms predetermine what their kids are supposed to be when they grow up. And you know I’m not making this s**t up. My mom cried when I told her I wanted to be a comedian. “Comedian? Why, Joseph? Your aunties are nurses. Your uncles are nurses. Do you see any clowns in this family? Huh? No.”


 

Toast Employee: That’ll be seventeen ninety-five
Joe Valencia: For a burrito?
Toast Employee: Yep.
Joe Valencia: Do you guys stuff it with gold?
Toast Employee: It is the ultimate burrito.


 

Junior: Dad, the school meeting’s at three.
Joe Valencia: I know. I told you I’d be there. Have I ever missed anything?
Junior: Yeah, like literally everything else.


 

Director: Can you do a half Filipino accent?
Joe Valencia: That’s what this is.
Director: Really? That’s fifty percent? Sounds thirty to me. Can you bump it up to fifty? Then we’re golden.


 

Joe Valencia: Nick, I didn’t do the accent. It made no sense, man. That’s kind of like you doing an Indian accent at your job.
Nick: Hey, I’d do it if it closed the deal.


 

Joe Valencia: I’m really busy. I just tested for this pilot.
Susan: You’re going to be a pilot?
Joe Valencia: No. A network pilot, for like a TV show.
Susan: Ah, you’re playing a pilot on the TV show.
Joe Valencia: No, a lawyer.
Susan: You could have been a lawyer, Joseph, if you only applied yourself.


 

Catherine: [referring to Junior] He has a C-minus in math.
Joe Valencia: What? How is that even possible?! They charge us thirty-five thousand dollars a year. For thirty-five thousand dollars a year, they should at least teach him math.
Catherine: Can you please not start?
Joe Valencia: I’m just saying, he could’ve got a C-minus in public school for free.


 

Eugene: And FYI, things are bad between our moms, like really bad.
Joe Valencia: Is this a new fight, or is it the same one from Christmas?
Eugene: Who knows?

 

'Family is mad complicated.' - Eugene (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Kyle: [referring to Junior] I’ll make him a smoothie.
Joe Valencia: No, don’t make him a smoothie.
Kyle: Yeah, I make them real smooth.


 

Joe Valencia: Oh, you play for the LA Kings? I had no idea.
Kyle: Is that supposed to be sarcastic? You know I’m on the team.
Joe Valencia: Well, since you don’t really ever actually play, it’s kind of like me saying I play for the Dodgers.
Kyle: Hey. I’m the backup goalie.
Joe Valencia: No, you’re the backup, backup goalie. Alright? So back up, man.


 

Joe Valencia: See all that fog?
Junior: Yeah.
Joe Valencia: That’s from all the Filipinos in Daly City using their rice cookers at the same time.


 

Regina: Welcome home, bro. See you tonight okay?
Joe Valencia: What? I just got here!
Regina: What? You got to follow your dream and become a beer spokesman.
Joe Valencia: That wasn’t my dream.
Regina: And I got to follow Mom’s dream and become a nurse. So, you owe me, big-time.


 

Regina: [to Junior] You look just like your dad, except you’re good-looking.
Joe Valencia: What?
Regina: And you have your mother’s eyes, though they’re not as judgmental.

 

'Most postal carriers are Filipino. We control the mail. You control the mail, you control the world.' - Tito Arthur (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Regina: LA sounds lame. You should move up here and hang out with your tita. You know, back before my dreams withered away like a dried-up, dead piece of fruit, I used to be fun.


 

Regina: The s**t’s about to fly. Okay, Mom is doing dinner. Tita Teresa’s doing lunch. But Mom refuses to go to Tita Teresa’s lunch. If that happens, someone’s going to end up in the ER with me.
Joe Valencia: Oh, my God. What’s this fight about?
Regina: I don’t know. But we’re counting on you to fix it. Bye!


 

Joe Valencia: [referring to the baby Jesus statue] Yeah, that used to scare the hell out of me when I was a kid. It just stares at you.
Susan: Make fun all you want, but someday, baby Jesus will save you.
Junior: That baby Jesus is going to murder me in my sleep.
Joe Valencia: I know.


 

Susan: I have to go get changed for church. I’ve got a beautiful new dress just for the occasion.
Joe Valencia: Wow. God’s going to be so happy.
Susan: He won’t care, but my sister will.


 

Tita Yvonne: Junior, you’re so handsome.
Junior: Oh. Thank you, Tita Yvonne.
Tito Arthur: Gets it from his tito. You see the resemblance?
All: No.
Tito Arthur: God does.

 

'Halo-halo is like the essence of Filipino culture. It's so extra. So much piled on, so many flavors and colors. It looks messy, but no matter what, you always come back for more.' - Tala (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Eugene: You know when you’re coming out of a club at 2:00 AM? What do you want the most?
Joe Valencia: Tacos!
Eugene: No! You want Gucci socks, Louis Vuitton headbands, Chanel press-on nails. And we got all that stuff, baby. Hypetruck!


 

Joe Valencia: Tita Teresa. You look good as always. But did you really have to wear the same dress as my mom?
Tita Teresa: I can’t help it if we shop at the same place. And I can’t help it if I wear it better. Magenta is my color.


 

Father Hildo: I gave you my demo, and you were supposed to give it to your little Hollywood friends. You can’t tell me that “Oops, God Did It Again” wasn’t going to be a hit.
Joe Valencia: First of all, I’m not even in the music biz. And besides, I don’t even listen to Christian pop.
Father Hildo: And I don’t listen to you.


 

Father Hildo: I thought you’d be more like Daly City’s favorite son, Lou Diamond Phillips. Now, that’s a real actor. And generous too. You know, his lola lives right around the block. If he were here today, there’s no way the collection plate would look so light.
Susan: Give money, Joseph. You’re embarrassing me.
Joe Valencia: He’s embarrassing me.

 

'It's just harder to disappoint someone else's mom.' - Eugene (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Father Hildo: Forty dollars? Thank you, Joseph. I see you value my sermon as much as my music.


 

Joe Valencia: Easter is a time for us to come together. I mean, who are we kidding? It actually feels like the time for us to be at each other’s throats. It’s the time to hold grudges. It’s a time to complain about each other’s food.


 

Joe Valencia: Father Hildo’s up here talking about “family is divine”. Well, I say family is a mess. A complete mess. I mean, no wonder no one wants to come home for the holidays to their Filipino parents. They don’t.


 

Joe Valencia: If there was ever a question if Jesus Christ was Filipino, his dad straight-up guilt-tripped him to come home for Easter. It’s the truth.


 

Joe Valencia: Kids got it easy. Am I right, Father Hildo? They got it so easy. I mean, look at that picture of Jesus right there. Jesus died for our sins. My son dies when I take his phone away for two hours. He doesn’t know what to do. He just walks around the house like he’s been crucified. “What did I do to deserve this, Dad? I need my phone back, Dad! I need Spotify. I ordered Uber Eats! I want to go on Instagram!”

 

'Sometimes words fail us, and we only have one choice. That's why God gave Filipinos karaoke.' - Joe Valencia (Easter Sunday) Click To Tweet

 

Joe Valencia: My mom is at war with my Tita Teresa, and none of us know why. If you didn’t know if they were related, look at their dresses. Both of them got it at Marshalls. They call that a “two for one”.


 

Joe Valencia: Now reach into your pocket, and grab your wallet, and put some more money in that basket! And if you have extra money, please buy Father Hildo’s demo!


 

Nick: The part is yours if you do the accent.
Joe Valencia: What are you talking about, Nick? The character doesn’t have an accent, so why should I do an accent?
Nick: Come on, Joe. Accents are funny, and funny is money.


 

Tito Arthur: Junior, how come you always look confused like a refugee?
Tita Yvonne: Ay, leave him alone. He’s not used to being around so many Filipinos.
Tito Arthur: How can he not be comfortable around Filipinos? He’s Filipino.

See more Easter Sunday Quotes


 

Tala: [to Junior] I get it. Rich mom, rich neighborhood, private school. It’s very obvious. So coming up here must be like landing on the moon.


 

Tito Arthur: I’m telling you, most postal carriers are Filipino. We control the mail. You control the mail, you control the world.


 

Dev Deluxe: Your cousin Eugene owes me a lot of money. I invested in his hypetruck.
Joe Valencia: On purpose?


 

Dev Deluxe: There he is! It’s Joe Valencia! The broke-a** Vin Diesel!


 

Joe Valencia: [to the baby Jesus statue] Stop staring at me.
Susan: Don’t make fun, Joseph. One day, baby Jesus will save you.


 

Joe Valencia: What’s up? I don’t know. Just this little, tiny gremlin with a big, shiny gun is looking for you.
Eugene: Ah. Yeah, that’s Dev Deluxe. That’s why I’m hiding down here.


 

Joe Valencia: [referring to Dev] Apparently, you owe him forty thousand dollars. Do you even have that?
Eugene: No. Could you lend it to me?
Joe Valencia: No! I don’t have forty thousand dollars. I barely have the twenty that I gave you!


 

Joe Valencia: This whole thing is a pyramid scheme. Hypetruck. You should call it “Ponzi truck”!
Eugene: That doesn’t sound as good.


 

Joe Valencia: Eugene, what do you think Dev would do if he found out that you had these gloves?
Eugene: He’d kill me.
Joe Valencia: So you put them in my mother’s house?!


 

Marvin: There better not be anything illegal in there, because I’ve gone straight.
Joe Valencia: Then why are you in this weird-a** basement?
Marvin: Well, mostly straight.


 

Marvin: Deluxe is legit crazy. I once saw him shoot somebody in the d**k.
Joe Valencia: What?
Marvin: Right in the actual hole.
Joe Valencia: In the hole?


 

Marvin: [directing Joe for his commercial] Do something with your hands. They look like two dead fish just wavering on the side.


 

Tala: Halo-halo is like the essence of Filipino culture. It’s so extra, right? So much piled on, so many flavors and colors. It looks messy, but no matter what, you always come back for more.
Junior: Wow. That’s so deep.


 

Tala: If you googled the worst person in the entire world, Dev Deluxe’s name would show up for real.


 

Joe Valencia: Man, you’re a cop now?
Vanessa: Yeah. Have been for the last ten years. You would’ve known that if wouldn’t have ghosted me the way you did.


 

Vanessa: And this your dad?
Junior: Yeah.
Vanessa: You know, me and your daddy, we used to be real intimate back in the day.
Junior: Oh, really?
Vanessa: Yeah, I could’ve been your mama. But clearly I’m not.


 

Vanessa: Joe Valencia. I can’t believe it. In a Subaru at that. What happened? You just gave up, huh?


 

Vanessa: [to Tala, who’s pretending she’s about to give birth] Okay, cross your legs is what you should’ve did in the first place. And now you going to have a baby by a big waterhead boy, and it’s going to probably be a big waterhead baby. And that big old head going to open you up, and you’ll be walking around like a cowboy for the rest of your life.


 

Vanessa: [to Tala] Don’t let that baby come out. Hold it. Hold it! You do not want the inside of a Subaru to be the first thing this baby see. Because then you going to have to nickname the baby Suby. You don’t want your baby named Suby, do you? No, you don’t want no little Suby-Dooby-Doo. Not Mercedes. Not Lexus. Nope. Not even Tesla. Not Tessie. Suby.


 

Nick: This is your big chance, Joe. It’s do or die. I’ll send you a ticket.
Joe Valencia: Wait, so this isn’t the part where you tell me that you’re going through a canyon?
Nick: No, because this is important. And that hurts, by the way.


 

Joe Valencia: This jeweler could be a criminal for all we know.
Eugene: Or a jeweler. Trust me, it’ll work out.
Joe Valencia: Trust you? That’s what got us into this mess. All I hear all day is, “Oh, Eugene, you’re such a good boy.” You know what? You’re not such a good boy.
Eugene: I know.


 

Eugene: And by the way, my mom thinks you hung the moon too. I think it’s just harder to disappoint someone else’s mom.
Joe Valencia: You know, when you say it like that, it’s just so hard to be mad at you.
Eugene: Family’s mad complicated.


 

Joe Valencia: It’s Lou Diamond Phillips! You’re The Jeweler. Oh, I get it. “Diamond”. Get it?
Lou Diamond Phillips: It’s the name I use to check in to hotels. Don’t let that get around.


 

Eugene: Hey, you are Filipino, right? You were so great in La Bamba, I could’ve sworn you were Mexican. Plus Stand and Deliver. At this point, you got to convince me you’re not Mexican.
Lou Diamond Phillips: I’m mestizo. Half Filipino, half Scots-Irish.
Joe Valencia: Oh, your dad was in the military?
Lou Diamond Phillips: Yes. But did Mel Gibson put me in Braveheart? Oh, no.
Eugene: Ah, that would’ve been so dope. “Freedom!”
Joe Valencia: Or, “Preedom!”


 

Joe Valencia: [to Lou Diamond Phillips] You really are an inspiration.
Eugene: Oh, yeah. My kuya’s an actor, so maybe you can give him some advice? Like maybe he should go by three names. Joe Diamond Valencia, right?


 

Lou Diamond Phillips: [to Joe] It’s so easy to forget where you came from. Sometimes you need to come home to remember what matters. Get your head straight. Your heart.


 

Susan: We’re sending gifts to our family in the Philippines.
Regina: We show our love with cosmetics, clothes, and candy.
Junior: Are we putting anything in the box, Dad?
Joe Valencia: Just love.
Tito Manny: And I’m putting in Viagra.
Joe Valencia: That’s a different kind of love.


 

Tita Teresa: Well, I’m sending this brand new Revlon hair dryer. It’s like you stepped out of the salon every time.
Susan: If it makes your hair look like that, I wouldn’t send it.
Tita Teresa: How dare you?
Susan: How dare you?! This is what I’m talking about!
Tito Arthur: We should put them both in the box and ship it.


 

Joe Valencia: Family is everything.


 

Joe Valencia: I mean, look at us all together. Moments like these are few and far between. So, let’s enjoy it.


 

Tala: You know, I got to be honest here. You’re acting like a straight-up baby right now. You want to know why you didn’t get any pictures of your dad? It’s because he was busting his a** for you today. What was the photography assignment from that rich school he’s hustling so hard to pay for?
Junior: Perspective.
Tala: Perspective, yeah. Why don’t you try someone else’s for once?


 

Joe Valencia: Ladies and gentlemen! Sometimes words fail us, and we only have one choice. That’s why God gave Filipinos karaoke. To quote everyone’s favorite good boy right there, “Family is mad complicated.” Especially ours. But what are we going to do? We’re all we got, right? So let’s get the party started, baby!


 

Tala: Filipino families fight a lot. But we love a lot too.


 

Dev Deluxe: [takes the money from the broken baby Jesus statue] Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Susan: It’s ten thousand dollars. It’s mine, but you can have it. Just leave us alone. I told you baby Jesus would save you one day.


 

Dev Deluxe: God, I love Filipino ladies. Just have money hidden everywhere.


 

Susan: Here are my ATM cards. Whatever I have is yours. Just go.
Dev Deluxe: How many bank accounts do you have?
Susan: My family survived the Japanese, the Americans, and the Bitcoin bubble. I don’t put my money in just one place.
Tita Teresa: Here’s my credit union card. Zero monthly fees.
Dev Deluxe: This is some fiscally responsible s**t.
Tita Teresa: And here’s my Pinkberry card. One punch away from a free yogurt.


 

Dev Deluxe: Why do you all have the same pin number?
All: It’s Manny Pacquiao’s birthday.
Dev Deluxe: Oh, right. That guy who couldn’t beat Mayweather.


 

Joe Valencia: Let’s grab some coffee, or…
Vanessa: Did somebody punch you in the head? Maybe you got donkey-punched. Because I don’t know why you would think it would be cool for me to go anywhere with you after the way you treated me. With your bald head, and your pit bull, wandering, glossy-a** eyes. And you still driving that raggedy-a** car.


 

Vanessa: But you can go ahead and email me. It’s pretty much the same. Just take the AOL off, and add “dalycity.gov”.
Joe Valencia: So, “That b**ch Nessa.”
Vanessa, Joe: “@dailycity.gov”.
Joe Valencia: Got it.


 

Joe Valencia: You’re still beautiful.
Vanessa: I know


 

Joe Valencia: [referring to he police uniform] Can you wear that outfit when we go get coffee?
What, you think you Lil Wayne or something?


 

Regina: [after Joe wakes up at the hospital] We thought you were having a heart attack. No such luck. It was just a panic attack.


 

Junior: [to Joe] You know, besides us almost getting shot, and you collapsing, today was like the best day ever.


 

Jamie Peters: We want to create a show about you and your family. The Joe Valencia Show, starring Joe Valencia.
Joe Valencia: Wait. What?
Jamie Peters: You left us on FaceTime, and we heard everything. The dinner, the fight, the song, the crazy, crazy love that is your family. And that’s the show we want to make. So, what do you say?
Joe Valencia: Are you kidding? Yeah!


 

Susan: [mid-credits lines] Joseph, I come all the way down to LA, and still you don’t want to spend time with me.
Joe Valencia: I’m trying to work, Mom. Look. Please get off the set.


 

Susan: [mid-credits lines, to Joe] So what do you think about Christmas? You’re coming home, right? Or are you too big of a star?

 


 

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