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Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Chord Overstreet, George Young, Jack Wagner, Olivia Perez, Alejandra Flores, Chase Ramsey, Sean J. Dillingham
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Netflix Christmas romantic comedy directed by Janeen Damian. Falling For Christmas (2022) centers on newly engaged, spoiled hotel heiress, Sierra Belmont (Lindsay Lohan), who after getting into a skiing accident, suffers from total amnesia and finds herself in the care of a handsome, blue-collar lodge owner and widower, Jake (Chord Overstreet), and his precocious daughter (Olivia Perez) in the days leading up to Christmas.
Sierra Belmont: When people look at me, all they see is the spoiled daughter of Beauregard Belmont, the hotel magnate. And I’m not spoiled!
Bianca: Dress or slacks?
Sierra Belmont: I don’t know. Is that pleather?
Bianca: Vegan leather.
Sierra Belmont: I just want people to remember me for more than my last name.
Tad Fairchild: [referring to Jake] This local yokel just body slammed my girlfriend, and ruined her haute couture onesie.
Beauregard Belmont: So, Ted, how is this online internet business thing of yours going?
Sierra Belmont: It’s Tad, Daddy. And it’s not a business thing. Tad’s an influencer. Millions of people follow him.
Beauregard Belmont: Basically, you’re a salesman.
Alejandra Carlisle: We just need a little patience.
Jake Russell: What we need is a miracle.
Avy: Haven’t you heard, Dad? Christmas is a time for miracles.
Sierra Belmont: [to her father, Beauregard] Have a safe flight. And don’t worry about me. I’ll be in very good hands. I’ll be with Tad.
Sierra Belmont: [referring to the hotel] I thought we were doing the photo shoot here.
Terry Carver: Yeah, I’ve reserved a private gondola.
Tad Fairchild: Gondolas are for losers.
Sierra Belmont: You do know I don’t actually ski, don’t you?
Tad Fairchild: No one needs to know that! It’s all smoke and mirrors, baby.
Tad Fairchild: Do you know how to unhook the snowmobile, by any chance?
Sierra Belmont: Do I look like I know how to unhook a snowmobile?
Tad Fairchild: I’ll figure it out. Okay, snowmobile, unhook.
Sierra Belmont: What are you doing? Tad, it’s not voice-activated, for God’s sake!
Tad Fairchild: [as he’s taking her picture] That’s good, but could you try to look a little more athletic?
Sierra Belmont: But, Tad, I want to look sporty, but not like I’m sweating.
Tad Fairchild: [kneels in front of her] Sierra Belmont, will you marry me?
Sierra Belmont: [as he puts the ring on her finger] Oh, Tad! Tad, it’s too big, sweetie.
Tad Fairchild: We could have it resized.
Darius: [as they spot Sierra’s unconscious body] What is it? Oh, it better not be a dead body.
Heather: Stop it. You’re freaking me out.
Jake Russell: Oh, my God.
Heather: Is it a dead body?
Jake Russell: [referring to Sierra] Well, at least she’s awake. That’s a good thing, right?
Dr. Layla Monroe: Well, that depends upon your point of view.
Sierra Belmont: [referring to the doctor] Sheriff, could you please tell her to let me out of here?
Sheriff Borden: Well, miss, we’d love to be able to do that, but first we need to figure out who you are.
Sierra Belmont: What do you mean who I am? I know who I am. My name is… My name is…
'What we need is a miracle.' - Jake Russell, 'Haven't you heard, Dad? Christmas is a time for miracles.' - Avy (Falling For Christmas) Click To Tweet
Jake Russell: Hey, what about fingerprints?
Sheriff Borden: Yeah, we took those when we brought her in. They’re not registered in our database, which just means she’s never been arrested, or possibly never even employed.
Sheriff Borden: Look, miss. I wish there was more that I could do, but we have procedures to follow when we’re dealing with a Jane Doe.
Sierra Belmont: A Jane Doe? I am not a Jane Doe!
Sheriff Borden: Well, I don’t know what else to call you. You’ve got no identity, no money, and no place to go.
Sierra Belmont: [after Jake offers she stay at his lodge] He is definitely a stranger. And I’m not about to follow him to some murder cabin in the woods.
Sheriff Borden: Jake owns the North Star Lodge.
Sierra Belmont: Oh, the North Star Lodge? Okay. Does it have room service?
Jake Russell: You know, it’s actually more of like a bed and breakfast type place.
Sierra Belmont: What kind of breakfast?
Jake Russell: On second thought, I think she’s probably better off here.
Tad Fairchild: Brilliant! Just absolutely bloody brilliant! What kind of crap forest doesn’t have a cell tower?
Tad Fairchild: Hello, this is Tad Fairchild. I’ve just survived a death-defying fall, and I’m currently stranded in a remote glacial forest. This recording will be a testament to my brave fight for life against all odds. But should anyone find my body, please upload this vid…
[suddenly his phone powers off]
'The worst tangles will sort themselves out if you just give them a little help.' - Sierra Belmont (Falling For Christmas) Click To Tweet
Jake Russell: [referring to the clothes] Alrighty. Went through the lost and found. Not sure if these will fit, but they’re better than scrubs. Guess they’ll have to do for now.
Sierra Belmont: Ew. Are these used?
Jake Russell: Probably. But, you know, sometimes guests leave things here by accident, so.
Sierra Belmont: [referring to the sweater] I’m not sure this was left here by accident.
Jake Russell: You know, we are out in the wilderness, so you’re bound to have a few visitors from time to time.
Sierra Belmont: Right. Well, they can stay out there.
Jake Russell: Yeah, I’ll let them know.
Jake Russell: Nice granny gown.
Sierra Belmont: Well, if that’s a compliment, I’ll take it.
Jake Russell: [to Sierra as she smashes the eggs into the pan] Well, you showed that egg who’s boss.
Bianca: [as they enter Sierra’s hotel room] She didn’t sleep here last night.
Security Guard: Are you sure? Maybe she made the bed?
Terry Carver: Miss Belmont make the bed? Not in this lifetime.
'Sometimes you can't rush things. You just have to take your time.' - Sierra Belmont (Falling For Christmas) Click To Tweet
Ralph: Hey, how about I whip us up some fried fish for breakfast? Sound good?
Tad Fairchild: Oh, I don’t eat fish. They are exotic pets in my saltwater aquarium at my condo in Manhattan.
Alejandra Carlisle: You haven’t been able to remember anything?
Sierra Belmont: No, but the doctor did say that if I did normal things, my memory might come back. But I wonder what she meant by “normal things”.
Sierra Belmont: This sheet is evil!
Alejandra Carlisle: Have you ever actually made a bed, dear?
Sierra Belmont: I don’t think so.
Sierra Belmont: Sometimes you can’t rush things. You just have to take your time. You know, my mom always said, “The worst tangles will sort themselves out if you just give them a little help.”
Sierra Belmont: [to the horse, Balthazar] I’d introduce myself, but I have no idea who I am. I can tell you I’m pretty much a useless human. I can’t do anything right. You’d think I’d have some sort of skill, wouldn’t you?