Fantasy Island Best Quotes – ‘Your life is about to change.’

Starring: Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Austin Stowell, Portia Doubleday, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen, Michael Rooker, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Kim Coates, Nathalie Emmanuel

OUR RATING: ★★½

Story:

Fantasy horror directed and co-written by Jeff Wadlow based on the TV series of the same name. The story centers on the enigmatic Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña), who makes the secret dreams of his lucky guests come true at a luxurious but remote tropical resort. But when the fantasies turn into nightmares, the guests have to solve the island’s mystery in order to escape with their lives.

Our Favorite Quotes:

Best Quotes

[as the guests arrive on the island]
Julia: Welcome to Fantasy Island. And congratulations to each of you on winning the contest. This weekend, you will be our VIPs. In return, all we ask is that you brag about us online when you get home.
Melanie Cole: Marketing 101.

Julia: I’m Julia, the personal assistant to your host, Mr. Roarke.
Patrick Sullivan: Yeah, what’s his story?
Julia: I couldn’t begin to tell you.
Brax Weaver: Well, I heard Roarke’s family bought this island from the natives like two hundred years ago for six cases of rum.
Melanie Cole: Well, I heard that he was an angel investor in the ’90s, and got bored with Silicon Valley.
Gwen Olsen: And opened an amusement park?
Julia: Trust me, the island is so much more. Here, anything and everything is possible.

[to the guests]
Julia: Mr. Roarke is making final preparations. He will meet you in the bar for an evening drink. In the meantime, we will take you to your rooms, so you may change and freshen up.
[looking at her phone]
Melanie Cole: No service. Guess not everything is possible.

[referring to her room]
Gwen Olsen: Wow. Is this just for me?
Julia: Well, it’s called Fantasy Island for a reason.
Gwen Olsen: “A place where anything and everything is possible,” you said. What you didn’t say is how.
Julia: Mr. Roarke tailors each fantasy specifically to the guest.
Gwen Olsen: Based on a one page questionnaire?
Julia: I will confess, I’m relatively new here. So how Mr. Roarke does what he does is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. What I do know, is that your life is about to change forever. I hope you’re ready.

[to Brax and JD after they’ve introduced themselves]
Melanie Cole: You boys can always take Patrick’s bungalow and he can “bungalow” with me.

Patrick Sullivan: I’m just curious how this all works.
Gwen Olsen: I was wondering that myself.
Melanie Cole: Virtual reality, obviously.
JD Weaver: Maybe it’s like LARP, live action role playing. It’s actually pretty fun.
[pause]
JD Weaver: So I’ve heard. From like dorks.
Brax Weaver: You saved it.
JD Weaver: Thank you.

Patrick Sullivan: It’s got to be some sort of immersive experience.
Gwen Olsen: What if your fantasy involves a person from your life?
Melanie Cole: Holograms, like Tupac.
Patrick Sullivan: What if it’s somebody who died?
Melanie Cole: Tupac.

JD Weaver: Well, I saw on Reddit that the guy just pumps the drinks with tons of hallucinogens. Crazy!
[Roarke enters the room]
Mr. Roarke: I promise, the only thing in those drinks is the finest imported rum. Good evening. I am Mr. Roarke, the ambassador to your deepest desires. Let me officially welcome you to Fantasy Island.

Patrick Sullivan: We were all just discussing how this works exactly.
Mr. Roarke: Ah, you will know soon. And I promise, you will not be disappointed.

Mr. Roarke: The island has two rules. There is only one fantasy per guest. And two, you must see your fantasy through to its natural conclusion, no matter what.
Gwen Olsen: Well, why wouldn’t we?
Mr. Roarke: Because fantasies rarely play out as you or I might expect. But they always play out exactly as they should.
Melanie Cole: Not even you know how they’re going to go?
Mr. Roarke: Only the island knows. I am but its humble steward.

Mr. Roarke: You wrote on your questionnaire your fantasy was to have it all, no?
JD Weaver: Yeah.
Mr. Roarke: Well, it’s all yours.
[he points to the rave at the mansion]

Mr. Roarke: I’ve been helping people realize their fantasies for longer than I care to say. Often, they are painfully unimaginative. Lots of s*x stuff. But yours, yours is quite abstract. You wrote, “Happiness and I aren’t exactly compatible. Now, mistakes and regrets, we’re old friends. So if I had one wish, I guess it would be to get a do-over.”
Gwen Olsen: Is it too late to change to s*x stuff?
Mr. Roarke: No, no, no. I like this. This is a challenge. And I accept.

[as Roarke is questioning Gwen about her personal life]
Gwen Olsen: I’m sorry, is this a therapy session or a vacation?
Mr. Roarke: If you’re lucky, both.
Gwen Olsen: I always pictured myself with just one little girl.
Mr. Roarke: And with whom did you hope to have this little girl?
[Gwen doesn’t reply]
Mr. Roarke: Miss Olsen, regret is a disease. It has afflicted you for too long, and I can help you cure it. If you let me.

[referring to her ex-boyfriend]
Gwen Olsen: His name was Allen.
Mr. Roarke: Very good. And why did it not work with Mr. Allen?
Gwen Olsen: Bad timing. When we met, I was kind of in a dark place. At our one year anniversary dinner, he proposed. I said no.
Mr. Roarke: You did not believe Allen loved you, because you do not believe you deserve love.

Mr. Roarke: If you could do that moment over, would you say yes?
Gwen Olsen: Yeah.
Mr. Roarke: Behind those doors is your fantasy. A chance to change the moment you regret the most.

[referring to her fantasy of being proposed to by Allen]
Gwen Olsen: This is not what I wanted.
Mr. Roarke: This is your second chance to say yes to his marriage proposal.
Gwen Olsen: But what is the point? It doesn’t change anything.
Mr. Roarke: You are here because regret has ruined your life. Do not make this another moment you will regret.
Gwen Olsen: But it’s not real. Is it?
Mr. Roarke: This is Fantasy Island. It’s as real as you make it.

Melanie Cole: Well, I’d ask you about your fantasy again, but you didn’t really want to talk about it last night, so.
Patrick Sullivan: This is going to sound stupid. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to enlist. But my mom made me promise that I wouldn’t, so I became a cop. Figured I’d do some good, see some action.
Melanie Cole: But you didn’t?
Patrick Sullivan: No. There was an incident. Got stuck behind a desk. When this came around, I figured, well, this is my chance to play soldier, even if it’s just actors with blanks.
Melanie Cole: Never enlisted? What’s up with the dog tags?
Patrick Sullivan: Uh, for luck.

Melanie Cole: Well, if you’re worried your fantasy sounds stupid, just wait until you hear mine. Revenge on a childhood bully.
Patrick Sullivan: What, you got bullied?
Melanie Cole: I was a very late bloomer. Built like a small boy. So when the most popular girl in school decided to make me her favorite target, I didn’t take it well. Though, I’m not sure how you’re supposed to take a bucket of toilet water on your head at the eighth grade dance.
Patrick Sullivan: That’s terrible.

[to Patrick; referring to her being bullied by as a kid]
Melanie Cole: I just want to feel what it’s like to be on the other end. I mean, obviously, the fantasy won’t be real, but that’s why we go to horror movies and ride roller coasters, right? To feel something?
[Roarke shows up behind them]
Mr. Roarke: I’d like to think that this is more exciting than riding a roller coaster.

[giving instructions to Melanie about how to get to her fantasy]
Mr. Roarke: In the lobby there is an elevator. Inside, push the button for the floor with no name.
Melanie Cole: Can I record it with my phone? So I can remember it.
Mr. Roarke: It is your fantasy.

[sees Sloane, the girl that bullied tied up in a chair]
Melanie Cole: No way. Sloane? That is a really good hologram. Yeah, she looks better than Tupac.

[reading her instructions]
Melanie Cole: “Open me. A variety of buttons for a variety of revenge. Enjoy.” Okay, Holo-Sloane. Let’s have some fun.

[as she sees footage of Sloane being kidnapped and taken to the island]
Melanie Cole: Um, Roarke? Uh, you there? Look, I’m done. I get it. My fantasy was revenge, but I didn’t think you would actually kidnap her.

[after Patrick enters his fantasy of enlisting to be a solider in a war]
Patrick Sullivan: You a part of my fantasy?
Damon: This place ain’t what you think it is. People die here. If you don’t listen to me…
[sees someone moving in the trees]
Damon: Oh, sh*t.

[referring to their fantasy]
Brax Weaver: Saw you talking to Malibu Barbie last night. How did that go?
JD Weaver: Chastity? Believe me, the name functions purely on an ironic level.

Brax Weaver: You put your whole life on hold for me. Maybe I should move out.
JD Weaver: Well, who would sleep on the couch then?
Chastity: No one. That’s the point.

JD Weaver: [to Brax] Little bro, buddy, listen, that weed’s got you para-nuts.

[after she has accepted Allen’s marriage proposal in her fantasy]
Gwen Olsen: But this is just a fantasy.
Allen Chambers: That I want for the rest of my life.
Gwen Olsen: Me too.

[on the phone]
Melanie Cole: Roarke, if you can hear me, I know what I said. I wanted to humiliate Sloane, and watch her cry. But this is not what I meant! Stop! Stop! Call it off!

[after Melanie rescues Sloane from being tortured]
Sloane Maddison: Thank you. You saved my life.
Melanie Cole: It’s not saved yet.

[after Brax and JD are being chased by thugs]
Mr. Roarke: I’m afraid the problem with having it all is that usually other people want to take it.
Brax Weaver: Look, Roarke, we don’t really want to have it all, okay? We just kind of want to borrow it for the weekend.
JD Weaver: Get off the phone! We got to get in the panic room.
[the panic room closes before they can get it]

Mr. Roarke: As I have told you, once a fantasy begins, you must see it through to its natural conclusion.
Brax Weaver: Nobody knew what you meant by that!
Mr. Roarke: Have a good night.
Brax Weaver: He hung up.

[after Damon saves them from being killed by Dr. Torture]
Damon: Unless your fantasy is to die, you better come with me.
Sloane Maddison: We should probably go with him.
Melanie Cole: Yeah.

[after finding a picture of himself with his son in Patrick’s wallet]
Lt. Sullivan: You’re saying you’re my son? That’s impossible.
Patrick Sullivan: Yeah, I thought so too. Now I’m not so sure.

[after finding out that Patrick is his son]
Lt. Sullivan: How is this happening?
Patrick Sullivan: There’s this place, this island. It can make whatever you want come true. I said that I wanted to be a soldier. But I guess what I really wanted was to see you again. Somehow the island knew.

[after she find out she got marrid to Allen and they have a daughter]
Gwen Olsen: How is this possible?
Mr. Roarke: It’s the island. The island has great powers. I first heard of its legend many, many years ago. A place where anything is possible. I was obsessed. I convinced my wife to help me find it. Our journey was long and hard, and she died before we arrived. When I finally discovered this place, I wished for her to live again. To return just as I met her. Forever.
Gwen Olsen: It brought her back to life?
Mr. Roarke: Yes. As long as I stay here, and I orchestrate all the fantasies, she lives. The island has granted your wish too. To have the family you’ve always wanted. A life you always dreamt of. I suggest you start living it.

Lt. Sullivan: I don’t know how this is happening, but I believe you, so we’re leaving. It’s a straight shot to Panama. Then I can get us home from there.
Patrick Sullivan: Wait. You’re calling off the mission?
Lt. Sullivan: No. I’m getting us out of here.
Patrick Sullivan: Well, you can’t do that. You’re a hero.
Lt. Sullivan: You know what a hero is? A hero is some guy who’s too stupid to stay alive.

Patrick Sullivan: There was a grenade. You threw yourself on it to save your men. You were a hero. You were my hero.
Lt. Sullivan: Look, you may have grown up without a father, but I’m going home to my son.
Patrick Sullivan: This is a mistake, and it is one you’ll regret for the rest of your life. Somebody died and I could’ve stopped it, so trust me, I know.
Lt. Sullivan: At least I’ll still be alive.

Patrick Sullivan: You can’t be a coward! I won’t let you.
Lt. Sullivan: What choice do I have?
Patrick Sullivan: We complete the mission. We save your men.
Lt. Sullivan: But you said that I die in Venezuela.
Patrick Sullivan: You did. But I’m here now.

[after JD and Brax are attacked by thugs]
Brax Weaver: This was supposed to be fun!
JD Weaver: Yeah.
Brax Weaver: A fantasy!
Devil Face: Maybe this isn’t your fantasy. Maybe it’s mine.
JD Weaver: Woh, that is so messed up, man.

Gwen Olsen: This is everything I’ve ever wanted. I wish I felt like I deserved it.
Allen Chambers: You do deserve it.
[Gwen kisses him]
Gwen Olsen: I love you both so much.

Gwen Olsen: I want a new fantasy.
Mr. Roarke: I thought I was very clear. There’s one fantasy per guest.
Gwen Olsen: Okay. I understand what you said. But I’m…
Mr. Roarke: No, no, no. Trust me. Trust me. People would kill to have what you have, a family. Please, enjoy them while you can.

[referring to Damon]
Melanie Cole: Should we trust him? He’s almost as scary looking as the last guy.
Sloane Maddison: Why would someone pretend to save us?

[inside the cave]
Melanie Cole: What the hell was what?
Damon: Sea snakes. They’re attracted to movement. Just don’t, you know, freak out.
Melanie Cole: Wade through dirty water in a dark cave filled with sea snakes without freaking out. Super easy.

[inside the cave, after they find a glowing rock that shows people’s fantasies]
Sloane Maddison: What the hell is this place?
Damon: That’s what I was hired to find out. I’m a PI. A client offered me a big old payday to figure out what happens here and how. Wants the power of the island for himself. I booked a stay three weeks back. Was skeptical at first, but then my fantasy started. I saw my daughter, who I’d lost years ago. It was beautiful. But then it got all twisted, became a nightmare. Roarke found my sat phone, and destroyed it before I was able to call for help. He knew everything.

Damon: This place is evil. Roarke is evil. Doesn’t care who lives or dies. But I know how to stop him. Oh, yeah. I do. Island’s power comes from this here rock thing. Turns the water black, dripping everywhere. It can do impossible things. Bring a loved one back to life, turn them into a black eyed zombie, like it did my daughter. I’m not sure how Roarke does it. But he uses the water to grant fantasies. I’m going to use it to expose him as a monster.
[puts some of the water into a canteen; to Melanie and Sloane]
Damon: Which is why I need you to smuggle this off the island.

[as she sees Melanie’s fantasy being displayed on the glowing rock]
Sloane Maddison: Your fantasy was to ruin my life? And who are all those people? Oh, my God. You’re the psycho stalker girl. You did all of this because of a couple of pranks?
Melanie Cole: Pranks? You tortured me every single day for years.
Sloane Maddison: Oh, please. I teased you a little.
Melanie Cole: I was so traumatized by what you did, I had to finish high school from home. Yes, trying to ruin your life was wrong, but you ruined mine first.

[after Gwen finds Julia]
Gwen Olsen: I want to change the moment that I regret most, but I chose the wrong one. I didn’t think any of this was going to be real, and now I have five years of memories of a daughter that I didn’t have yesterday.
Julia: For a new fantasy, you’d bewilling to give it all up? Your own child?

Gwen Olsen: I want my fantasy.
Mr. Roarke: Miss Olsen, you have to stop.
Gwen Olsen: I’m not asking for a new one. I’m asking for the same fantasy done right. If I had known when I got off that plane that I could change the past, there is no question what I would have chosen.
Mr. Roarke: I am sorry that you only now believe in the island, but rules exist for a reason.
Gwen Olsen: Oh, but those aren’t the only rules. Are they? You have one of your own. As long as you do the island’s bidding, your wife lives. That’s what you told me.

Mr. Roarke: I’ve already given you a fantasy.
Gwen Olsen: You misled me. My fantasy was to have a do-over, but that’s not the do-over I wanted. You’re willing to risk your wife over it?
Mr. Roarke: Very well. Are you sure this is what you want?
[she takes off her engagement and wedding ring]
Gwen Olsen: It’s not what I want. It’s what I have to do.
[Gwen is taken to the night she caused a fire that killed her neighbor, Nick]

Damon: You know, you can just say sorry.
Melanie Cole: Yeah, that would be a start.
Sloane Maddison: He was talking to you.
Damon: I was talking to you both.
[to Sloane]
Damon: You, sounds like you were a real Ms. Teen A**hole 2009 back then. Time to make amends for your past and ask for forgiveness.
[to Melanie]
Damon: And you. Grow up. Stop giving this teenage version of her all this dang power over your life. Revenge ain’t going to fix you. Only you can fix you. God, you two remind me of my daughter. Never did right by her. I’m going to get you both off this island, one way or the other.

[after Damon is killed by sacrificing himself]
Melanie Cole: He saved us.
Sloane Maddison: So we could get off this island.

[after Patrick, his dad and the soldiers kill the thugs and rescue JD and Brax]
Lt. Sullivan: Thanks. If he’d have thrown that grenade…
Patrick Sullivan: You would’ve sacrificed yourself. That’s why you’re my hero. You did something I could never do.
Lt. Sullivan: Well, I wouldn’t sell yourself short, Ali.

[after Melanie takes them back to the torture basement to call Sloane’s husband for help]
Sloane Maddison: We used to be happy, Will. And then, I don’t know. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I felt you pulling away from me, so I wanted to hurt you. It’s what I’ve done my whole life. I hurt people who don’t deserve it. And I am so sorry. There is no defending the way that I treated you. And I’ll understand if you can never forgive me.
Will: Look, do you think this fixes anything?
Sloane Maddison: Not even close.
Will: Okay. What do you need me to do?

[referring to Nick, her neighbor that died in the fire]
Julia: You got your fantasy redo. Did it work? Did you save him?
Gwen Olsen: No. I think this is someone else’s fantasy.

Melanie Cole: How did you find us?
Patrick Sullivan: We’re looking for Roarke.
Brax Weaver: Who are you?
Sloane Maddison: I’m her fantasy. Not like that.
Melanie Cole: Where’s JD?
Patrick Sullivan: He didn’t make it.

Mr. Roarke: Hello, my friends.
Brax Weaver: Roarke, you son of a b*tch.
Mr. Roarke: I warned you. Fantasies rarely play out as you would expect.
Brax Weaver: Play out? My brother’s dead!
Mr. Roarke: I could not save him, just like Mr. Sullivan couldn’t save his father.

Gwen Olsen: We weren’t brought here to have our own fantasy. We were brought here to be a part of someone else’s. Because of Nick Taylor.
Sloane Maddison: Who’s Nick Taylor?
Brax Weaver: He was our roommate. He died, six years ago.
Gwen Olsen: In a fire that I started.

Gwen Olsen: So everyone who got off that plane has a hand in Nick’s death.
Patrick Sullivan: So this is one big revenge fantasy?
Mr. Roarke: Correct.
Brax Weaver: So how does this end?
Mr. Roarke: With your deaths. Your lives for Nick’s, if that’s what the island demands.
Gwen Olsen: Call it off.
Mr. Roarke: You know I do not have a choice.

[after their rescue plane is shot down]
Sloane Maddison: Okay, not to be negative, but we’re going to die here.
Patrick Sullivan: We’re not throwing in the towel. Not yet

[after Melanie suggests Julia could be Nick’s mom]
Gwen Olsen: I saw her coughing up blood. This could be her dying wish.
Sloane Maddison: Okay, but then why would she save you from the fire?
Melanie Cole: So Gwen could tell us why we’re here. It’s not really a satisfying revenge if your victims are oblivious.
Patrick Sullivan: So we go to her. We apologize. We try to make this right.
Brax Weaver: Someone that brought us to this island to die is probably looking for a little more than just an apology.
Melanie Cole: If we can’t stop her, maybe we can stop the island.

[after they enter the cave and Sloane is confronted by her own demon]
Sloane Maddison: People never change. They just get better at hiding who they are.

Gwen Olsen: I just saw Nick. This is not Julia’s fantasy.
Brax Weaver: Then whose is it?
Melanie Cole: Well, it’s not Patrick’s. The guy just can’t seem to save anybody. Not even himself.

Melanie Cole: As soon as I saw this place, I knew I had to bring everyone here where there’s no escape from my fantasy.
Sloane Maddison: Your fantasy?
Melanie Cole: Yes. The one I asked for, before any of you had even heard of Fantasy Island.

[referring to Nick]
Melanie Cole: I was this close to my real life fantasy, but all of you, you turned it into a nightmare!
Gwen Olsen: You could’ve had anything you wanted here. You could’ve had Nick back.
Melanie Cole: It would’ve been fake. Our future was stolen. And all of you, you just moved on with your lives. Nick deserves better. Nick deserves justice.

Melanie Cole: There is hate in my heart, and it grows every day. You put it there! This is as much your fault as theirs.
Sloane Maddison: But you saved me.
Melanie Cole: That was an act.
Sloane Maddison: Why?
Melanie Cole: So you could finally see my worth. Your very life on this island, depended on me.

[after they get away from Melanie]
Brax Weaver: Holy sh*t. She went out with him one time?

Gwen Olsen: Julia is your fantasy?
Mr. Roarke: My wife.
Gwen Olsen: She said she just started here.
Mr. Roarke: She believes that, yes. You see, my wish was to have her back, just as I met her, forever. So she appears not knowing me, and soon, she takes ill, just as she did before. That plays out again and again. Courting her became too painful. So I lie to her. I tell her she’s my assistant.

[referring to Melanie]
Brax Weaver: You can stop her, Roarke.
Melanie Cole: No. He can’t. He’s the genie, and this island is his bottle. Trapped forever. And if he doesn’t give every guest their fantasy, he loses his love.
Gwen Olsen: You think that’s love? Letting Julia die over and over again, forever? That’s hell. She was your wife, Roarke. She’s not anymore. She’s not even your assistant. She’s your prisoner. You have to let her go.

Julia: You have to do something. They’re not the island’s guests. They’re yours.
Mr. Roarke: It’s not what I want.
Julia: But it’s what you have to do.
[Roarke takes off his ring and Julia disappears]

Gwen Olsen: Melanie, I am sorry your life didn’t work out the way you wanted. Mine didn’t either.
Melanie Cole: Everybody’s sorry when it’s time to pay the piper, right?
Patrick Sullivan: I’ll pay. It was my fault. I could’ve saved Nick. Let the others go.
Melanie Cole: Oh, my God. Are you still trying to be like dead daddy? Well, you’re not a hero. It was just your fantasy.

Mr. Roarke: All of my guests get a fantasy.
Gwen Olsen: [to Sloane] So if you drink the water, you get one.
Melanie Cole: Sloane’s fantasy? What, that she and her husband get to be together forever?
[Sloane drinks the water from Damon’s canteen]
Sloane Maddison: No. That you and Nick do.
Gwen Olsen: Those are the rules.
[zombie Nick then drags Melanie into the water]

Brax Weaver: Fantasy f**king Island.

[after Patrick sacrifices himself by jumping over the grenade Melanie set off]
Sloane Maddison: What happened?
Gwen Olsen: You saved us.
Brax Weaver: Where’s Patrick?
Mr. Roarke: He died, as a hero. He made his father proud.

[as they are about to board the plane to leave the island]
Sloane Maddison: So what’s going to stop us all from exposing this island and suing you?
Mr. Roarke: Well, fantasies, Mrs. Maddison, are a lot like dreams. You rarely remember the details, but you always remember how they make you feel.
Sloane Maddison: Well, I just remembered that I want to get the hell off this island.

Gwen Olsen: So what happens to you now, Mr. Roarke?
Mr. Roarke: I stay here, protect this place, and live my life without regret.

Mr. Roarke: Technically, you partook in your brother’s fantasy, so the island can grant you one.
Brax Weaver: I want JD back. I want him to go home, to have a life.
Mr. Roarke: In order for that fantasy to last, you would need to stay here. Forever.

[referring to Melanie]
Sloane Maddison: I was so horrible to her back then.
Gwen Olsen: All you can do now is forgive yourself.

[last lines; as they watch the plane leave with Sloane, Gwen and an alive JD]
Brax Weaver: So what now?
Mr. Roarke: You work for me. You’ll need a uniform, and a name tag. Quite the unusual one. Brax.
Brax Weaver: It’s better than my college nickname. I lost a bet, had to get the dumbest ink ever.
Mr. Roarke: Of what?
[Brax reveals the tattoo on his chest, which is “Tattoo”]
Mr. Roarke: Welcome to Fantasy Island, Tattoo.

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