Netflix’s Fatherhood (2021) Best Movie Quotes

Starring: Kevin Hart, Alfre Woodard, Melody Hurd, Anthony Carrigan, Lil Rel Howery, Paul Reiser, DeWanda Wise

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Netflix drama directed and co-written by Paul Weitz. Based on a true story, Fatherhood (2021) follows Matthew Logelin (Kevin Hart) as he struggles with learning to be a single parent after the unexpected death of his wife.

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Our Favorite Quotes:

'It's amazing what you can do when you're scared.' - Matt Logelin (Fatherhood) Click To Tweet 'How come, when something good happens, it always gets taken away?' - Maddy Logelin (Fatherhood) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Liz Logelin: [as she’s about to give birth] Are you really ready for this?
Matt Logelin: Yes! No. Who’s really ready? Like what does that mean, when you say, “Are you really ready for this?” This evening? Can we do it tomorrow? Because I got a fantasy football draft. Me and some guys from work. We put a nice little pool together, and we… I’m kidding. Why are you taking me serious?

Marion: Why couldn’t you guys give us adequate warning?
Matt Logelin: Well, we just thought it’d be fun to surprise you. We said, “You know, we should have this baby tonight and mess with Marion.”

Oscar: Oh, hey, stay away from that tuna casserole. The one in the middle, tastes like a**.
Matt Logelin: My mom made that casserole, Oscar.
Oscar: It’s really good. It’s really, it’s got like a tang.

Liz Logelin: [as Matt gives her a necklace] You’re still going to have to do diapers.
Matt Logelin: As long as they promise to change my diapers when I get old, I’m happy.

Matt Logelin: [as Liz’s funeral] I would trade everything to spend one more day with you.

Marion: [referring to Matt] He’s not ready for a baby. He hasn’t even put the crib together.
Cousin Busybody: Well, you know, he’s always been extremely immature.

Cousin Busybody: Oh, hi, Matt. How are you, dear?
Matt Logelin: I’m extremely immature.

Matt Logelin: You know, Maddy, if you could have only one parent, I wish you could’ve had your mom. Because she would’ve been better at it.

Matt Logelin: What are you doing up?
Marion: I probably will never sleep again.

Matt Logelin: What is that on that baby’s bottom?
Marion: It’s a diaper.
Matt Logelin: It looks like a balloon animal.

Matt Logelin: Mom, you always talk to me about God’s plan. I would love to know what the odds are of me meeting somebody from my hometown halfway across the country.
Marion: God? I had a plan. Liz was to go away to grad school, and then come back, and work, and live. That was the plan before she met you.

Marion: [to Matt] You think you can do this, but you can’t. Raising a child, that’s a nonstop, all day, all night affair.

Matt Logelin: No, Marion, you’re right. I can’t. I can’t do it. But you know what? I’m going to do it. Yeah, I’m going to do it. I’m going to bring Maddy up. I’m going to bring Maddy up because I’m her father. And because I love her.

Marion: I have no doubt you love that baby. I have no doubt you loved my Liz. But you want to keep Maddy to yourself because you need a life raft.
Matt Logelin: I’m sorry I messed up your plan.

Anna: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Marion: You catch even more with a flyswatter.

Mike: If there’s one piece of advice that I could give you about bringing up a kid. Let go. Look, as a parent, we do all this s**t, right? Trying to make everything perfect. But we don’t have any control. You just have to accept that fact.

Matt Logelin: See, what is it that a woman has that a man doesn’t?
Howard: Patience. Emotional vulnerability. Breasts.
Matt Logelin: Some men have breasts.
Howard: I’m going to let that go because you’re grieving.

Howard: And I’m telling you, it’s brutal. It’ll wipe you out. She have solid poops yet?
Matt Logelin: No. Nope. I’m dealing with the creamy s**t right now.
Howard: Enjoy the creamy s**t. It’s a big jump. When you get to solid poops, it’s not a picnic.

Howard: [referring to baby poop] Save that. Put it in the with your roses and your flowers, because it’s packed with nutrients, that stuff.
Matt Logelin: It’s a great tip.

Oscar: It’s kind of cruel to send flowers to someone who’s grieving. Because, you know, flowers die, and then you got to throw them out. It’s just such a bummer.

Oscar: You know, I’ve never seen like a person pass, or anything. But, you know, I’ve seen a squirrel pass. It just makes you wonder about the circle of life. But it’s not really a circle. It’s like a line. I mean, because there’s a beginning, and there’s an end.

Jordan: What am I doing?
Matt Logelin: You’re flirting with my mother.
Jordan: I’m not flirting with your mama.
Matt Logelin: I’m looking at you flirt with my mama.
Jordan: I’m flirting with both your mamas.

Jordan: Team Single Father! I’m here to help you at the end of the day.

Marion: I will go home when Anna goes. But if you are not handling everything all very well, you move your butt back to Minnesota.
Matt Logelin: Why would I agree to that?
Marion: Because it’s not about you.

Jordan: You acting like a dumb mother-fudger right now.
Matt Logelin: Don’t cuss at me in front of my child.
Jordan: I didn’t. I called you a mother-fudger.

Matt Logelin: Why are you saying “fudge”?
Jordan: Because there’s a baby right there. I don’t want to curse in front of the baby.
Matt Logelin: So why not just choose another word?
Jordan: I did. “Fudge”. Man. You know, your daddy is a witch. Yeah, I said it. He’s a dumba** witch. Goofy mother-fudger.

Matt Logelin: I can’t do none of it. I can’t do it. Not without Liz.
Anna: You just have to do what’s best for her. That’s all you have to do the rest of your life. And I believe you can do that.

Anna: I’m going to be praying for you ten times a day.
Matt Logelin: Listen, if it’s nine, don’t kill yourself, okay?

Jordan: Daddy in a sling. Look at that.
Matt Logelin: How do I look?
Jordan: You look great. Like a king.
Matt Logelin: Don’t say it just to be saying it.
Jordan: You look like a king.

See more Fatherhood Quotes

Passerby in Park: Oh, where’s mom?
Matt Logelin: Oh, mom’s an astronaut training at NASA.

Library Worker: Where is mom today?
Matt Logelin: Oh, mom is serving time in San Quentin.

Businessman: Me, I can’t wait till Monday comes so I can get away from my kids screaming.
Matt Logelin: Wow. I bet they’re probably psyched to get away from you too.

Matt Logelin: [at Liz’s grave] Oh, I thought I should tell you that you got one of your wishes. I’m changing a lot of diapers. This little kid here poops a lot.

Matt Logelin: Look, Maddy, we’re about to pass the school that mom wanted you to go to. Which means that that’s where you going to go. They got nuns there, and you’ll like nuns. You’ll like nuns because nuns dress like penguins. That’s a fact. And they’re celibate. I know. I know. I know, you fussing. I know you don’t want to be celibate, but you’re going to be. Good talk.

Matt, Jordan, Oscar: [singing] Go to sleep, Maddy. Maddy go to sleep. Maddy go to sleep. Go to sleep, Maddy.
Oscar: It’s not working though.
[Matt claps his hands]
Oscar: Oh, no. No, that made it worse.
Jordan: She’s not a clapper.

New Mom: This is a group for new mothers.
Matt Logelin: You’re lying, because on that sign out there, it says “parents”. I’m a parent, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t have nobody else to talk to about this s**t. Speaking of s**t, the girl’s got some stuff flying out of her a**. It’s like a fire hose. I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but it’s two different kinds. She can either hit you with a streamer. That’s when it’s all put together, and it’s a little solid. And it’s a direct hit. Or she’ll buckshot you. And that’s that spray. It’s a quick whop! I need help.

Matt Logelin: [during a work meeting] I’m not asleep.
Howard: Sleep. No, this guy never sleeps. He’s deep in thought.
Matt Logelin: Yeah, deep in. That’s exactly what it is. Very deep in thought.

Matt Logelin: [during his presentation] You hear crying:
Howard: Crying? I don’t hear any crying.
Oscar: I have a deviated septum, so my nose whistles sometimes. Maybe that’s it?

Howard: In here, I’m kind of, I’m the designated a**hole.
Matt Logelin: Who designated you? I’m just asking. Was it from birth, or…
Howard: Hey. You don’t think there’s an a**hole above me? And above that a**hole, another a**hole.
Matt Logelin: An a**hole chain.
Howard: It’s an a**hole chain. That’s exactly what it is.

Matt Logelin: [to baby Maddy] All we need is us. We don’t need no one else.

Matt Logelin: Look, I know I ain’t perfect. I know that. I’m actually nothing. I’m a joke, okay?
Dr. Lawrence: Matt, you’re not a joke. Maddy is doing great.

Marion: Matthew, today was a good day for you as a parent. You keep all these little victories like you had today in a little box inside you. They’ll be your most prized possessions.

Marion: Remember when I caught you guys messing around in here?
Matt Logelin: Oh, my goodness. Yes, I do. You chased me with Mike’s hockey stick. You kept yelling out, “Not in this house. Not in this house!”
Marion: You thought you were going to get lucky that night. You got damn lucky, didn’t you?
Matt Logelin: It’s amazing what you can do when you’re scared. I’ve never been that fast.

Marion: [referring to Liz’s room] At first, I spent whole days in here. Whole days. Just lying on the bed, smelling the pillows. Crying. Pi**ed. I’m down to one hour each day. That’s all I allow myself now.

Marion: Matt, she needs family. She’ll need a woman in her life. And I don’t mean some woman you met in the club. Or on Tinders.
Matt Logelin: Tinders? I’m not on Tinder. And what are you… How do you know about Tinder? Where are you getting this stuff?

Matt Logelin: Did dad like having a baby?
Anna: Oh, he loved babies. That’s why he had so many of them with so many different women.
Matt Logelin: Yeah, but he married you.
Anna: Yes, lucky me. I was lucky because I had you.

Matt Logelin: I’m just hoping I can be half as good a mom as you were with me.
Anna: You’re a good mom.

Maddy Logelin: What is this?
Matt Logelin: I think it’s a new look. I think it’s a new hairstyle that can catch on if given a chance.

Swan: I work on a show called Lucky Jim.
Matt Logelin: Lucky Jim. I know what that is. Maddy loves that show.
Swan: You let her watch Lucky Jim?
Matt Logelin: Yeah, it’s a cartoon.
Swan: Have you ever watched it? It’s called Lucky Jim because he gets lucky.
Matt Logelin: You talking about sex?

Matt Logelin: I thought he was like a leprechaun.
Swan: Yeah, he’s a leprechaun. A really lucky, really horny leprechaun.
Matt Logelin: Is there like a warning on it that kids shouldn’t watch it?
Swan: There’s definitely a warning.

Jordan: [to Maddy] Sometimes two adults meet each other, right? And they fall in love. And then they both are nearsighted. Have that in common, and all these beautiful things. And they take long walks in the park together. You know, you find that special someone. But then they get real petty one day, and kick you in your back, because you snoring while you sleep.

Matt Logelin: [referring to Jordan] You know he’s talking about himself, right?
Maddy Logelin: I know. But if they liked each other, and then they didn’t like each other, couldn’t they like each other again? And wouldn’t that be fun?

Jordan: [to Maddy] You are brilliant. You a genius.
Matt Logelin: Got to be to make sense of all that stuff you just said.
Jordan: Don’t be a hater. Look, you are so smart. You definitely don’t get that from your daddy.

Matt Logelin: I just don’t understand why nuns are so tough. Why are you guys so tough? Like what is it that happens in nun camp that makes you guys this strict? I’m not going to say anything else, because I don’t want to get struck by lightning.

Maddy Logelin: [referring to the necklace] Is she in this? Mommy?
Matt Logelin: Yeah, she’s in there. She’s in you. She’s in me. She’s in whoever she touched.

Matt Logelin: There’s nothing hot about single parents. We are overworked, sleep-deprived, covered in baby vomit.
Swan: That’s hot.

Swan: So, you must have had a good example of how to be a dad?
Matt Logelin: No. No, I did not. Actually, I had the complete opposite of that. I know what not to do because of my dad.

Matt Logelin: I’m going to kiss you now, okay?
Swan: Okay. I think I’m prepared. Oh, do you prefer my false teeth in or out?
Matt Logelin: Leave them in, just in case I mess up, so I got something to blame it on.
Swan: Sure.

Swan: Does it bother you that my name is Lizzie?
Matt Logelin: No. But you can change it if you want to.
Swan: Okay. You know, if you want to call me anything like, “Your Highness.” Or like my mom was going to name me Majesty. Anything along those lines is great.

Maddy Logelin: Is she going to sleep in your bed when she does sleep here?
Matt Logelin: [whispers] Yuck. Yuck. No, I think that’s disgusting.
Swan: Ick.
Matt Logelin: Yeah. Yuck to death. She’ll sleep in the bathtub.
Maddy Logelin: You can borrow a pillow if you want.
Swan: That is so nice. That’ll make it more comfortable.

Matt Logelin: [referring to Maddy] I just think that, right now. She’s not ready.
Swan: Ready for what?
Matt Logelin: For this. She’s not ready for this.
Swan: She’s not ready, or you’re not ready?

Matt Logelin: [referring to the hospital] Thank God today I got there in time to hold her hand. Because with Liz, it was different. With Liz, I didn’t get to hold her hand. I got shoved out the room. I got shoved out the room, and when I came back, she was gone. She was gone, and there was a little, there was a tube sticking out of her mouth.

Matt Logelin: I don’t know if I can leave Maddy for over a month. I can’t do that.
Howard: It’s an opportunity. Hey, college tuition’s not getting any cheaper.
Matt Logelin: College tuition? I’m trying to get through the week.

Mike: Welcome to not knowing the right thing to do. That’s a dad specialty.

Maddy Logelin: [referring to breaking up with Swan] And we need more people. Other people have more people.
Matt Logelin: What are you talking about, Maddy?
Maddy Logelin: It’s always just us.
Matt Logelin: Oh, I’m sorry for being your dad. I’m sorry for being around. Is that what you want?

Maddy Logelin: How come, when something good happens, it always gets taken away?
Matt Logelin: I don’t have an answer for that. And I don’t have an answer for anything else you want to ask me. Don’t ask me no more questions. For the rest of the day, for the whole flight, I’m not answering nothing else that you ask me. Do you hear me? Question time is over. I give you an inch, you take a mile.

Matt Logelin: We have nothing in common outside of Liz. Nothing in common!
Marion: We have Maddy.

Matt Logelin: You know what I was thinking about? That time when I asked dad could I go live with him because you wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to.
Anna: I certainly remember. He brought you right back here, all across town. He knew. It’s probably the least selfish thing he ever did.

Matt Logelin: Sweetheart, I made a deal with you when you were a baby to always try and do what was best for you. And right now, I can’t. I can’t move here. You know, but that shouldn’t mean that you can’t. You know, Grandma Marion and Grandpa Mike, they brought up mommy. And mommy was the best. She was just like you. You know, you and your mom are the best thing that ever happened to me. And I want to thank you for taking care of me. I want you to know that I tried, but I know that you’re happy here. I just want to do what your mom would have wanted me to do.

Matt Logelin: Two kisses. One for mommy. One for me.

Jordan: Look, Matt, now, I know you don’t really want to hear this, but like, honestly, none of us thought you would’ve did the job you did. Like we thought you didn’t have a chance of taking care of this little girl by yourself. Honestly, you did a way better job than any of us thought you would do, man. You should be proud of yourself, man. You did that.

Matt Logelin: I mean, what I did, you got to say, it was probably the bare minimum of parenting. That should be enough, right?

Matt Logelin: Nobody else thought that I could raise my child. So why did I? What am I doing? What am I doing? What decision am I making, and who’s the decision best for? Because I don’t know! Cheers.
Jordan: I’m not cheering that.
Matt Logelin: I did it.

Howard: [to Matt] You know, I’m proud of you. I don’t know why, I’ve always felt sort of like a father figure to you. Not a father, but, you know, like an uncle maybe, or a cousin. kind of like a big brother. Neighbor? Maybe I felt like a neighbor. Bigger, older neighbor.

Howard: [to Matt] I’m very glad I didn’t fire you.

Jordan: [as he starts crying] Somebody’s cutting onions or something close to us, or something. I don’t know.

Oscar: Oh, do you want talk, or sleep, you know, on the flight? I tend to do both, actually. Talk in my sleep. So if I do, just, you know, kind of nudge me awake. Or you can probably even talk to me actually. I’m pretty interesting when I’m sleep-talking.

Maddy Logelin: Wherever you are, I want to go there.
Matt Logelin: Wherever you are, I want to go there too.

Matt Logelin: I just want to say thank you, Marion. For understanding, you know?
Marion: I don’t understand anything anymore. But I know that she would be so proud of you, Matt.

Marion: You know, she said you were the one when you showed up with those little grocery store flowers. You had them gripped so tight, you crushed the stems.
Matt Logelin: I did. I did. I was nervous as hell. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
Marion: It was yesterday.

Maddy Logelin: Are there the schools near us where you don’t wear a uniform?
Matt Logelin: Yes, there are. But I’m thinking about sending you straight to college. So we won’t have to worry about that, okay?

Matt Logelin: We were in the neighborhood.
Maddy Logelin: No, we weren’t.
Matt Logelin: We weren’t. We were not in the area. But I stopped, and I got some flowers that say, “Sorry for being an idiot.”

Matt Logelin: I wanted to come and bring the flowers by here and give them to you. But I didn’t want you not to be here then leave them on the step. Then somebody come by, they steal the flowers, and you never get the flowers. You know?
Swan: You know, there are a lot of flower thieves in this building.
Matt Logelin: I didn’t want to say nothing, but, yeah.
Swan: That’s really astute.

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