Starring: Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Adrian Martinez, Gerald McRaney, Rodrigo Santoro, BD Wong, Brennan Brown, Robert Taylor, Dotan Bonen, Griff Furst, Stephanie Honoré

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Romantic crime comedy-drama film written and directed by Glenn FicarraHonoré. The story follows veteran con artist, Nicky (Will Smith), who takes amateur con artist, Jess (Margot Robbie) under his wing. While Nicky teaches Jess the tricks of the trade, the pair become romantically involved, but when Jess gets uncomfortably close, Nicky ends their relationship. Couple of years later they meet again in Buenos Aires, but now they are on opposing sides of the same scam; a billionaire international race car owner. The reunion throws Nicky off his game, placing his lucrative deal and his life in jeopardy.

 

Best Quotes     (Total Quotes: 135)


 

[first lines; Nicky is stood on his hotel room balcony watching the city when he makes a call]
Restaurant Hostess: Elegio Reservations, how may I help you?
Nicky: Yes, I’d like to make a reservation for tonight, please.
Restaurant Hostess: Oh, I’m sorry. We’re booked months in advance.
Nicky: Okay. I understand. Thank you very much.
[he ends the call then uses his cell phone to call the same restaurant again]
Restaurant Hostess: Elegio Reservations, how may I help you?


 

[Nicky is at a restaurant eating his dinner when a young woman, Jess, trying to avoid being hit on by a man at the bar sits at his table]
Jess: Will you be my boyfriend, just for a minute. You’re not a serial killer, are you?focus-2
Nicky: That depends. How many times does it take to get to “serial”?
Jess: Five.
Nicky: Oh, no. We’re good.
[she holds out her hand]
Jess: Jess.
Nicky: Nicky.
[he shakes her hand]


 

[later still sat at Nicky’s table, Jess holds a brandy glass in her hand trying to guess the flavors in the brandy]
Jess: Burgundy?
Nicky: Very good.
Jess: It’s very confusing, isn’t it?
Nicky: Hm.
Jess: How do you know it all?
Nicky: Mostly from drinking.
Jess: Mm.
Nicky: Yeah. More you drink, more you learn.
Jess: In that case, I am, uh, I am the foremost expert in Jägerbombs.
[Nicky chuckles]
Jess: I will walk you through it all…
[just then they get interrupted by the waiter bringing the check]
Waiter: It’s been a pleasure to serve you, Chef Oshowole.
[the waiter leaves]


 

Jess: Chef who?
Nicky: Uh, Oshowole. Yeah.focus-1
[he laughs softly]
Jess: You know, it may be the roofies talking, but this was really fun. Thank you. Thank you for rescuing me.
Nicky: Yeah. We showed him.
Jess: Yeah.
Nicky: Gotta respect him though, he left it all on the field.
Jess: That’s what I’m missing out on tonight? Wow.
Nicky: Can I walk you somewhere?
Jess: Actually, I’m…I’m staying here. Upstairs.
Nicky: Oh, really?


 

[up in Jess’s hotel room they are making out on the bed when a man then bursts into the room]
Jess: Oh, my God! It’s my husband!
Jared: Shut the fuck up!
Jess: Jared, wait.
[he suddenly draws his gun on Nicky]
Nicky: Woh, woh, woh! Woh, woh!
Jared: I’ll fucking kill you.
Jess: Jared, just let him go.
Jared: No fucking way. He’s fucking dead.


 

[threatening Nicky]
Jared: Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn’t do it!
[Nicky hesitates a moment before replying]
Nicky: I’m drawing a blank.
Jared: What?
Nicky: I think you should shoot me. Let’s be honest, you’ve been aggrieved.
Jess: Don’t mess with him, Nicky, he’s done hard time.
Jared: I’ve done fucking hard time.
Nicky: If you had any idea what I was about to do to her…
Jared: Shut up, man!
Nicky: She was gonna be no good to you after that. So you should really shoot me.
Jared: What the fuck?


 

Jess: What kind of stuff are we talking about?
Nicky: Saudi bachelor party shit.
Jared: Saudi bachelor party?
Nicky: R. Kelly drop-cloth shit. Please, come on, shoot me.
Jared: You stop fucking around! I’m gonna fucking kill you.
Nicky: You’d really be doing me a favor. Cancer. Tumor the size of a peach. Pull the trigger, you’ll see.
Jared: You…you got cancer?
Jess: He’s onto us.
Jared: Oh, shit! I knew this wasn’t gonna fucking work!


 

Nicky: You guys suck.
Jess: Just give us the money.
Nicky: Or what?
Jess: Or he’s gonna shoot you in the neck.
Jared: I don’t wanna shoot a guy with cancer. Grandma Mukulski had cancer.
Jess: He doesn’t have cancer, you idiot!
[Nicky gets up from the bed and puts on his jacket]
Nicky: You guys really boned this thing. First of all, you gotta wait till she gets my pants off.
[to Jess]
Nicky: And then you gotta give me a chance to run. That’s how you get the money. And you never drop the con. You never break. Die with the lie.


 

Jess: When did you make us?
Nicky: Uh, when you stole the wallet from the bum downstairs.
Jess: Bullshit.
Nicky: No, real shit.
[he throws the wallet she stole at her]
Jess: Then why’d you come up here if you’re so smart?
Nicky: Professional curiosity. And I like boobs, you know. I figured it was a win-win. All thumbs, sweetheart. It was a bum lift.
[Nicky walks towards the door]
Jess: It was a great lift.
Nicky: Please. He was so shithoused, you could’ve taken his appendix. You suck.
[he opens the door and leaves]


 

[as Jess is walking along the street Nicky comes up behind her]
Nicky: You really should be more aware. I’ve been behind you for two blocks, you didn’t see me?
Jess: I don’t have eyes in the back of my head.
Nicky: Well, if you’re gonna play this game, you might wanna grow a pair.
Jess: I can take care of myself.
Nicky: No, you’re gonna get hurt. Let me buy you coffee.
Jess: I don’t drink coffee.
Nicky: Fine.
Jess: Fine.


 

[as they sat together having a drink]
Jess: So, what’s your thing? Inside? Roper?
Nicky: Mm.
Jess: You can tell me.
Nicky: Everything, I’ve been in this game so long.
Jess: I want a cannon, that’s what I wanna do.
Nicky: Oh, really?
Jess: Yeah.
Nicky: Yeah, okay.


 

Nicky: My grandfather used to run a crooked game in Harlem. Eventually, my father started shilling for him. Uh…one day they get burned. Mobbed-up guy catches them throwing signals. Everybody’s guns come out. Standoff. No way out, except one. The Toledo Panic Button.
Jess: What the hell is that?
Nicky: You shoot your partner, it proves you’re not together.
Jess: You kill your partner?
Nicky: You hope you don’t.
Jess: Does it work?
Nicky: He’s O for three.
Jess: So your father killed your grandfather?
Nicky: That’s the world you’re in. Dabblers get killed.


 

Jess: Look, I wasn’t born into this like you. I…I was a dyslexic foster kid. No prospects, no future. I mean, it’s a minor miracle I’m not a hooker right now. Tutor me.
Nicky: No.
Jess: Why not?
Nicky: I’m headed out of town.
Jess: Well, wait, look, I can pay you. If that helps.
[she takes out a wallet and takes out some cash]
Nicky: Whose wallet is that?
[looking at the ID card in the wallet]
Jess: Uh, “Dr. Peter Woshilak.”
[Nicky laughs]


 

[outside Nicky attempts to teach Jess]
Nicky: Alright, we’re gonna make this quick because it’s really cold. Now I’m gonna show you a few touches, but at the end of the day this is a game of focus.
[as he hands her his jacket he holds up the ring she was playing with in her hand earlier]
Jess: That’s very clever.
[she takes back her ring and throws his jacket back at her]
Nicky: Alright, now, attention is like a spotlight. And our job is to dance in the darkness.
[he holds up her hands and twirls her round then holds up her watch]
Jess: I didn’t even feel you take that.
[she grabs back her watch]
Nicky: The human brain is slow, and it cannot multitask.
[he holds up her ring again]
Jess: Jesus. When…?


 

Nicky: Alright, I’m sure you can flip a leather on its feet. But what we’re talking about is much more complex than that.
[he throws her wallet at her]
Jess: When did you take my wallet?
[holding up a membership card]
Nicky: You take Zumba?
Jess: Well, it’s actually a really good cardio workout. Thank you very much.
[she takes back her card]
Nicky: You’re thinking with your hands. You gotta get inside the vic’s head, perceive from their perspective. Human behavior is very predictable. If I look at my hand, it naturally pulls your gaze and allows me to enter your space.
[he stands next to her]
Nicky: But when I look up at you, it causes you to look directly at me.
[he then holds her sun glasses]
Jess: Cute.


 

[he touches Jess’s shoulder]
Nicky: I touch you here, I steal from here. I tap you here, I steal from here.
[he holds up her cell phone]
Nicky: I tap you here…
[he taps her waist]
Nicky: I steal from here.
[he throws her keys at her]
Nicky: I step to here… You’re not gonna slap my face, are you?
Jess: Why?
Nicky: You would if you knew where my hand was.
[he holds up her handbag]
Jess: Okay, I get it. I get it.
Nicky: You get their focus, you can take whatever you want.
[he holds up her ring again, Jess laughs as he puts the ring back on her finger]
Nicky: You be safe.
[he smiles and walks off]


 

[New Orleans – Nicky is looking at an empty building with his partner, Horst]
Nicky: So why do I like this place?
Horst: Lots of space. Doesn’t open for a month or two. We can tie into multiple lines, diffuse our footprint, keep hopping DNS addresses. Plus military-grade fiber.
Nicky: How many bathrooms? Fat-Ass Farhad is flying in.
Horst: Two, coed. He still got irritable bowel?
Nicky: Yep.
Horst: Man, he should do a cleanse.
Nicky: Horst, he is a four hundred pound Persian. He is not gonna do a cleanse.
Horst: Where you been staying? Hyatt again?
Nicky: Yep. I love the brunch. You should stop by.
Horst: No, no brunch. I’m doing a cleanse.


 

[Nicky is sat at a restaurant when Jess turns up and drops his wallet on the table]
Jess: Hyatt Rewards card, in my wallet.
Nicky: Admit that you’re impressed. I got your wallet and I found you all the way down here.
Please. World Series, Final Four the Sugar Bowl, Super Bowl, any big event like this is sucker central.
Jess: Well, I still found you. That’s gotta count for something.
Nicky: So how many Hyatts did you have to go to?
Jess: All three, five times each.


 

[Jess joins at Nicky’s table]
Jess: I want in.
Nicky: Maybe I’m just here to watch the game.
Jess: I asked around who ran the game in Harlem. The Limehouse Kid is your grandfather. Bucky Spurgeon is your father.
Nicky: Father is a very generous term.
Jess: And you’re Nicky Spurgeon. They call you Mellow.
Nicky: I’m all crewed up, sweetie.
Jess: Oh, come on. Please!
[Nicky gets up to leave when Jess stops him]


 

Jess: Can we…? Can we just…? Can we skip the part where I speak through thinly veiled allure and lead you to believe there’s some earth-shattering hump in the works? Because I suck at that kind of stuff. I just want in.
Nicky: There’s no earth-shattering hump in the works?
Jess: No.
Nicky: I don’t even get “thinly veiled allure”?
Jess: No.
Nicky: No baby voice? No lingering eye contact?
Jess: I am hopeless.
Nicky: That’s all my favorite shit.
Jess: I’m sorry.
Nicky: Can I suggest that you learn? Professionally.


 

[Jess tries to act sexy]
Jess: Well, I mean, you could…you could show me in your room?
Nicky: That is so bad.
Jess: Is it?
Nicky: Does it feel sexy on your face?
Jess: A little.
Nicky: It does. Okay, let’s go.
[Nicky gets up to leave]
Jess: Wait. Where are we go…? Wait, am I in?
Nicky: No.


 

[as Nicky is leaving the restaurant Horst walks over to them]
Nicky: This is Horst.
Horst: Hello, Jess.
[they shake hands]
Jess: Hi.
Horst: Nicky told me you were coming.
[Jess pushes Nicky]
Jess: You’re such a dick.
[Nicky laughs]
Horst: Yeah, he gets that a lot. Let’s go. What are you, a size 4?


 

[Jess is wearing a sexy dress and high heels beings escorted in the street by Horst and a group of other con artists]
Jess: Why do I have to wear this?
Horst: No one looks at your hands when you got that working for you.
Jess: I can’t breathe.
Horst: First things first. We stick to rich folks and no one with a cane or a wheelchair, it’s bad luck. Tommy’s the shade, Gareth’s the stick. All eyes on me until I make the mark an once I fan him, I tug my lapel. Two fingers means it’s a prat poke. Three fingers means the leather’s an insider. If it’s a cordeen or an ox tongue, I’ll scratch my nose, unless I use my thumb, which means I am actually scratching my nose. Anything on the left or the right tail I’ll cock my head, but nowadays keister kicks are ninety-five percent of it. So you just do the touch, and I ding the poke in the nearest mailbox, okay?
Jess: I’m sorry, what?
Horst: Okay, plan B. You two, come with me.


 

[after Jess and Gareth have picked some pockets]
Horst: It was excellent. You wanna wire?
Jess: Let me wire.
Horst: Ponytail’s your mark. Right bridge. Right rear pocket.
[Gareth accidentally on purpose walks into the guy with a ponytail]focus-4
Gareth: My bad.
[at that moment Jess walks past the guy and pick his wallet; to Jess]
Horst: That was nice.
Jess: Okay. I got this.
Horst: What?
Jess: Give me some shade.
Horst: Wait.
[as Jess swipes wallets and other trinkets off unsuspecting people Nicky watches her from the above balcony]


 

Nicky: You’re in.
Jess: Really?
Horst: Congratulations, you’re a criminal.
Jess: Okay, what now?
Horst: Want me to do the primer?
Jess: Primer?
Nicky: I got it.


 

Nicky: There’s a flight landing every two minutes at Louis Armstrong. Whoever’s not here for the game’s here for the party. Every one of them looking to drink big, bet big, cheat on their spouses, and it all costs money.
[Nicky and Jess walk into Hyatt Hotel]focus-3
Nicky: There are boost teams at all the major hotels. They hit quick and get out before anybody ever knows what happened.
[suddenly he starts yelling at Jess in the middle of the hotel foyer]
Nicky: And if you think for one second I’m gonna let your mother talk to me like that, you are fucking crazy!
[as Nicky creates a distraction his team go to work and swipe people’s baggages]
Nicky: I’m a grown-ass man!
Jess: Why are you yelling at me?


 

Nicky: [voice over] There’s card games everywhere and they let anyone with enough cash in. Chances are, at least one of those guys you don’t know is a mechanic who can work a deck like Bill Clinton works a crowd.
[Nicky and Jess are watching a card game where one of the card players is on Nicky’s con team]
Card Player: All in. Full boat.
Card Sharp: I swear, I’ve never had four of a kind before! Ha!
[the card player gets up to leave]
Card Sharp: Sorry, coach! I’ve never had four of a kind. Hey, come on, coach!
Card Player: Motherfucker! What the fuck!
Card Sharp: You win some, you lose some, right?


 

[referring to the man running out of the room without his pants off after two of Nicky’s con artists have the husband entering the room routine]
Nicky: Married guys are the best. Who they gonna tell?
[running after the man without his pants]
Male Con Artist: I’m gonna kill you!
Female Con Artist: It’s my husband!


 

Nicky: [voice over] Every minute there’s something going on down here. Every bar, restaurant, hotel, everywhere. Guys working alone, working in teams. Not just cash either. Identity theft and credit card spoofing are big too. You can skim the data right off a credit card in about a second. But boosting a wallet only gives you an hour before the vic gets wise and the cards are canceled. So you put the card back. By the time the mark gets wise, he’s in Youngstown arguing with his wife over the charges we rack up before the bill comes.


 

Nicky: A skimmer swipes the card and records the keystrokes so you can get the pin too.
[Jess and Nicky watch Nicky’s friend Farhad removing a fake ATM that is used to steal private information]
Nicky: Look, you see that?
Jess: Oh, wow. Did he make that?
Nicky: Yeah. A few years back he replaced the credit card terminals at about a dozen 99 Cent Stores in L.A. Took down a few million before they caught on.
Jess: What does a guy like that do with that kind of money?
Nicky: He, uh, financed his own line of gravies.
[Farhad points to Jess sitting in the front passenger seat]
Nicky: Uh, yeah, he just…that’s his seat. Just let him…
Jess: Oh, I’m….I’m sorry.


 

[as Nicky drives them]
Farhad: Who’s the girl?
Nicky: Her name is Jess, Farhad. She’s our intern.
Farhad: Ah. You’re hitting that?
Jess: I’m right here.
[we see Jess is sat in the back seat]
Nicky: No, Farhad. I’m not hitting that.
Farhad: You should hit that.
Jess: Yeah. Hi. Still right here.
Farhad: I’d totally hit that.
[to Nicky]
Jess: He’s fucking with me, right? Right?
Farhad: She talks a lot.


 

[taking a headshot photo of Jess]
Horst: Smile. Thank you. I’ll get this loaded in. Shouldn’t take long.
Nicky: Get a digital camera.
[to Jess as he shows her around his team]
Nicky: So we’re about thirty strong, everybody gets a percentage. We cover bribes and fall money for anybody who gets pinched, knock wood. We sell the ATM data to a guy in Singapore. The shopaholics here buy merchandise which we overnight back to ourselves and resell on the gray market. Yesterday we bought two MacBook Airs.
[Jess picks up an expensive looking necklace]
Jess: Oh, my God. That is incredible. Oh, do you think that maybe I…?
Nicky: No.
[he takes the necklace from her]
Nicky: Sell everything. Take no chances.


 

Jess: So, what about the big con? I thought you were all big time.
Nicky: Oh, you mean the one where we make so much money we all retire and get yachts and boob jobs. Yeah, that’s a fantasy. We are in the volume business. Safer that way.
[to one of his employees]
Nicky: Hey, Jen, I need a dime. I got bit at the track. Come on, girl.
[Jen throws him a wad of cash]
Nicky: Thank you, baby.


 

Nicky: Clean card, clean ID, everything you need.
Jess: Thank you.
Nicky: Well, don’t thank me yet. Got a lot of work to do, tough week ahead.
Jess: I know. So, what now?
Nicky: There’s a key card in there. Um, I got you another place.
Jess: I think you’ll like it.
Nicky: Wow, thanks. Do you know how I can get a cab there?
[Nicky hesitates before answering]
Nicky: I can give you a ride.
Jess: Yeah? That’d be great. I mean, if it’s okay with you.
Nicky: It’s fine with me. Is it okay with you?
Jess: Yeah.
Nicky: You sure?


 

Jess: You seem like a pretty good driver.
Nicky: You can count on me.
Jess: Can I?
Nicky: Most would say no.
Jess: Mmm. You seem trustworthy.
Nicky: Maybe you should take that cab.
Jess: Yep. Okay.
[Jess leaves; later Nicky turns up at Jess’s room and they have sex]


 

[Jess is sat in a Café with Farhad who’s showing her his photos on his cell phone]
Jess: Aw. Who’s that?
Farhad: This is my little girl, Mina.
Jess: Cute.
Farhad: My son, Dani.
Jess: Oh, that’s sweet.
Farhad: That’s my wife, Lida.
Jess: Pretty.
Farhad: That’s my dick.
Jess: Cool.
Farhad: Sorry about that.
Jess: That’s okay.
Farhad: That’s my dog.
Jess: Aw.
Farhad: Hate it.


 

Jess: So you’ve known, um…you’ve known Nicky a long time?
Farhad: Uh, ten years. Why?
Jess: I was just wondering.
Farhad: Okay, you got me. We’re sleeping together, okay?
Jess: Mm. Mm-hm.
Farhad: Like the ancient Greeks.
[Jess laughs]
Farhad: Actually, I don’t know. I mean, I like the guy, I do, but people aren’t really his bag, so it’s hard to tell sometimes.
Jess: Yeah, I guess you can’t blame him. I mean, he told me about that thing with his dad and his grandfather. It…it was crazy.
Farhad: He told you that?
[Jess nods her head]
Farhad: I mean, I’ve heard that story, but never from him.
Jess: Really?
Farhad: You must throw a mean one. Damn.
Jess: Ha-ha.
Farhad: I’m really gonna miss sucking his dick.
[Jess laughs]
Farhad: So’s he.
Jess: Stop it.


 

Jess: Alright, you ready?
Farhad: Yep.
[suddenly he starts yelling in pain]
Jess: Frank? Frank! Oh, my God, somebody help. Please, please, somebody help.
[at the same time Nicky’s group of thieves get to business and start stealing from the crowd in the Café as they are distracted looking at Farhad and Jess]
Jess: Baby, we’re getting you someone. Okay? Just stay with me. Stay with me, Goddamn it. Somebody get someone! Somebody call a doctor. Is there a doctor? I need a doctor.
[Jess grabs a guy walking towards her and steals his watch]
Jess: Doctor, help me. My husband’s just had a heart attack. I don’t know what to do. I’m so worried. Frank? Frank? Can you hear me? Oh, my God! Somebody call 911!
Doctor: Hey, Frank.
Jess: Frank!


 

[in the ambulance as they pretend to take Farhad to the hospital]
Jess: Who was the cop with the wandering hands?focus-6
Nicky: Oh, he was real. He just stumbled in.
Jess: Who hits on a grieving widow?
Nicky: I guess that’s just how fantastic you look in that dress.
Jess: What’s a girl to do?
Nicky: I can think of a couple things she could do.
Jess: Yeah, me too, actually.
Nicky: Mmm.
Farhad: I think we should start with oral. Just saying. Come on, man. I’m right here.
Nicky: Sorry.
Jess: Sorry.


 

[trying to get the attention of his team]
Nicky: Everybody! Everybody, everybody, everybody. Can I get your attention? Uh… What you laughing at?
[one of the girls in the group laughs]
Nicky: Record-setting week. And I wanna say congratulations to you all. After expenses, one point two million dollars.
[everyone raises their glasses]
Nicky: Great work, great work. After the big game’s over tomorrow, this place is gonna gets bleached down. Anything not nailed to the floor is going in the incinerator. Horst here has all of your travel money. Once you get home, I will wire you all your cuts. Thank you, guys, really.
Horst: To Nicky.
Crowd: To Nicky!
[everyone celebrates at the party with Jess and Nicky dancing and kissing]


 

[later after the party is finished Horst gives Nicky a large bag of money]
Nicky: That’s all of it, one point two?
Horst: Do not let it leave your sight. You promise?
Nicky: Uh, yeah, I promise.
Horst: No dogs or ponies.
Nicky: Hey. How long have you known me?
Horst: No, just look. Look at me. Man to man. No gambling, okay?
Nicky: Yes, dear.
Horst: I’ll see you when I see you.
[they give each other a quick embrace and Horst leaves]


 

[referring to Horst and Nicky]focus-5
Jess: You guys are so cute.
[she goes into Nicky’s arms]
Jess: I’m tired.
Nicky: Okay. Wanna go to the game tomorrow?
Jess: You have tickets?
Nicky: Of course. It’s one of the perks of the business.
Jess: Oh, uh…do you mean these tickets?
[she pulls the tickets out from her top]
Nicky: Okay, you’re gonna need to stop that, alright? Stop showing off.
[Jess laughs and they kiss]


 

[as they fool around in bed]
Nicky: An exit interview?
Jess: Yes.
Nicky: Oh, my God. Are you serious?
Jess: Tell me.
Nicky: So you mean like, uh, “Jess is a hard worker, honest and prompt. I believe she’ll be a valuable asset to your team at Sizzler of San Bernardino.”
Jess: No, not a reference, you dick.
Nicky: Criticism. Constructive criticism.
Jess: Uh, really?
[he looks at her for a moment]
Nicky: Are you serious?
Jess: Yes.
Nicky: Okay.
Jess: Okay.


 

Nicky: You got a light touch. You know, you’re kind of invisible out there. And you’re calm. You know, you get upside down, you don’t panic. You adjust. You actually rally when the going gets tough, which is rare. I’ve been in this for a really, really long time. And I’ve never seen anything like you.
Jess: Thank you. But I was actually talking about the sex.
Nicky: Oh, please. There’s a thousand hos better than you.
Jess: Woh! Please! I can’t believe you said that!
Nicky: You’re just laying there. You know? I’m like, “Come on, is this thing on?”
[they both laugh]
Jess: You’re mean.
Nicky: Mm.


 

Jess: Why Mellow?
Nicky: Hm?
Jess: Why do they call you Mellow?
Nicky: Oh. Yeah, you know, I don’t like that name.
Jess: I know, but why do they call you that?
Nicky: Oh, my dad just started calling me that.
Jess: And?
Nicky: And I don’t like it.
[Jess playfully bites his hand]
Nicky: Ow. Ow!
[Nicky chuckles]


 

Nicky: My dad, he said, um…there’s two kinds of people in this world. There’s hammers and nails. You decide which one you want to be. He said there’s no room for heart in this game. That shit’ll get you killed. He, uh…he said I was soft. So he started calling me marshmallow.
Jess: Mellow.
Nicky: Mm-hmm.
[Jess kisses him]
Jess: You’re a big old marshmallow, you are.
Nicky: Mm-mm.
Jess: I’m gonna get some more wine. Do you want some?
Nicky: Nope, I’m good.
Jess: Okay.
[she kisses him before leaving the bed]


 

[Nicky and Jess go to a football game]
Jess: How did you get these tickets?
Nicky: Just one of the many wonderful things about being me.
[after they sit down to watch the game]
Jess: Is this a bad time to mention I don’t really like football?
Nicky: Yeah. Like the worst time possible.
[they both laugh]
Jess: I’m sorry. It just seems like a lot of standing around all the time.
Nicky: Are you kidding?
Jess: Don’t you think? I…
Nicky: Well, you were really excited about the tickets.
Jess: No, I am. I’m so excited. I just…I don’t get the game.
Nicky: Okay, I get it. Alright. Um… You know what? Forget football. We can still have fun. Alright.


 

[looking around the stadium Nicky notices the hot dog vendor selling a hot dog to a man]
Nicky: Right there. I will bet you one dollar that that guy does not catch that hot dog.
Jess: Down there?
Nicky: Yep.
Jess: Okay.
[they watch as the hot dog guy throws the hot dog which the guy misses]
Jess: Oh. How did you know that?
Nicky: Because that guy cannot throw. He knocked this old lady’s glasses off about ten minutes ago.
Jess: Okay. Okay. Ooh.
[she notices the crowd doing a Mexican wave]
Jess: Okay, um…down there. Shirtless guy with the body paint. Ten says he’s too drunk to get up for the wave.
Nicky: Are you sure? His team is on a drive.
Jess: Are you in or out?
Nicky: I’m in.
Jess: Okay.


 

[to the shirtless man as the Mexican wave gets closer]
Jess: Don’t do it.
[the wave comes up towards the shirtless guy and he doesn’t stand to do it]
Jess: Yes!
Nicky: Really? Really?
Jess: I know my drunks.
[to the shirtless guy]
Nicky: So you’re a fan? You’re considering yourself a fan?
Jess: Thank you! Okay. We’re even now.
Nicky: Alright. Hold on. No, no, no.. A tiebreaker.
Jess: Okay.


 

[looking at the crowd]
Nicky: Um, okay. Mamita with the short shorts.
Jess: Oh, yeah.
Nicky: See her?
Jess: Yeah.
Nicky: How many guys are gonna look at her ass as she walks up the aisle? Closest one wins.
Jess: End seats only?
Nicky: End seats only.
Jess: At least eight.
Nicky: Eight?
Jess: Mm-hmm.
Nicky: Three.
[a man sat behind them joins the game]
Liyuan: Five.
[Nicky and Jess turn to look at Liyuan who’s been listening to them]
Liyuan: Can I get in on this?
Jess: Sure, ten bucks, Mr…?
Liyuan: Liyuan. I say five guys look. Sure thing.
Jess: Okay.


 

[Jess counts the number of guys looking at the girl’s ass as she walks past them]
Jess: There’s one. Two.
Nicky: Yeah.
Jess and Liyuan: Three.
Liyuan: Four. Sorry.
Jess: Uh-huh.
Nicky: I’m out. I’m done.
Liyuan: Five. And it’s six.
Jess: Come on.
Liyuan: Six.
Jess: Seven! Yes! I’m the closest! I know my lechers too. Money, money, money.
Liyuan: Okay, okay.


 

Liyuan: I want justice. I want my money back. Make another bet.
Jess: Okay.
Nicky: I want my change.
Liyuan: Okay. Which team draws the next penalty?
Jess: I don’t know football. You boys play.
Liyuan: Okay. Defense.
Nicky: How much?
Liyuan: One thousand.
Jess: Ooh.
[Nicky hesitates a moment before agreeing]
Nicky: Yeah.
[he counts his cash]
Nicky: I’ll do the thousand.


 

[after Liyuan loses the bet]
Liyuan: Okay, five thousand. Do they pass or run?
Nicky: Five thousand.
Jess: Oh, wow.
[to Jess]
Nicky: He’s been drinking.
Jess: He is. Yeah.
Nicky: He’s been drinking. He’s definitely been drinking.
Liyuan: I have.
[they all laugh]
Nicky: Okay. You call it.
Liyuan: They run.
Nicky: They run.


 

[this time Nicky loses the bet]
Liyuan: Yeah! They run, they run! Yeah!
Jess: Ooh. Ouch.
Nicky: Yeah. Ouch is right. Ouch is right. Um… On that note, I’m gonna get a drink.
Jess: Yeah, me too.
[as Nicky and Jess get up to leave Liyuan stops them]
Liyuan: Double or nothing. Your bet.
Nicky: No, I’m good. I’m good, man. Thank you.
Liyuan: No, no. no. Easy bet. Easy bet. They make this kick, you win. Good odds, huh? They always make this kick, you can’t lose. Come on, I want to play. I like you. You can’t lose.
[Nicky hesitates]
Liyuan: Oh, come on, I want to play.


 

Nicky: How much?
Liyuan: Double or nothing, ten thousand.
[as Nicky starts counting his money]
Liyuan: Oh, too much?
Nicky: Alright, ten grand.
[they watch the game and Nicky loses the bet]
Nicky: Really?
Liyuan: Oh, no. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m such a lucky guy.
[Nicky reluctantly gives the cash to Liyuan]


 

Jess: Maybe we should just get going.
Nicky: Come on. Alright.
[Nicky turns to go but stops and turns]
Nicky: Wait, hold up. Hold up.
[to Liyuan]
Nicky: Fifty.
Liyuan: Say again?
Nicky: Fifty grand.
Jess: Nicky.
Nicky: It’s alright. It’s alright. Okay?
Jess: Okay.
Nicky: Relax.


 

[making his bet to Liyuan]
Nicky: Um, he’s not gonna return the kick. On the kickoff he’ll take a knee.
Liyuan: Ah. Now you make things interesting. Okay.
[they watch the game and Nicky loses again]
Jess: Alright. Okay. We good? Nicky?
Nicky: Wow.
Jess: It’s okay.
Nicky: Oh.
Jess: It’s okay.
Nicky: Alright. Hold it, hold on.
Jess: Alright.
Nicky: Give me one second. Give me a second. Give me a second. Give me a second, please.
[Nicky turns and thinks before going back to Liyuan]
Nicky: A hundred grand.
Liyuan: One hundred thousand?
Nicky: Yep.
Liyuan: You don’t have one hundred thousand.
Nicky: Yeah, I do.


 

[Nicky puts his money on the gambling table]
Jess: You can’t do that.
[Liyuan also places his money on the table]
Nicky: Next play, pass incomplete.
Liyuan: I say he catches it.
[they watch the game on the TV and Nicky loses again]
Jess: Woh.
Nicky: You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.
Jess: We’re going. We’re going. We’re going.
[Nicky turns to go but instead takes the bag of money from Jess and goes back to Liyuan]
Nicky: All of it. One-point-one million.
Jess: Nicky. Nicky, that is my money too.


 

[Nicky places a pack of cards on the table]
Nicky: High card takes it all.
Liyuan: You are crazy. I like it.
Nicky: After you.
Liyuan: Thank you.
[Liyuan pulls a card and in frustration at pulling a low number says something in Japanese]
Nicky: What is that you said, tomo ha de? What’s that?
Liyuan: It’s just an expression. It’s hard to explain. Rough translation’s…
[Nicky pulls a card and it’s a lower number than Liyuan’s]
Liyuan: “I am fucked.”
[Liyuan laughs]


 

[as Nicky is walking away]
Liyuan: I’m sorry, friend. That’s what happens when you play with the big boys.
[Nicky stops then walks back to Liyuan]
Jess: Oh, fuck me.
Nicky: Double it.
Liyuan: Oh, man. Dude, what are you doing?
Nicky: I’m good for it. Double it.
Liyuan: You got a problem, my friend.
Nicky: Take those binoculars, pick any player on or off the field and I will guess the number.
Liyuan: Any player? That’s like one hundred to one.
Nicky: It’s good odds for you. Two million.
Liyuan: That’s fucking crazy. I don’t like it.
Nicky: Okay. Okay. I’ll sweeten it for you. You pick the player and she’ll guess the number.
Jess: What?
[Liyuan chuckles]
Liyuan: You’re fucking crazy. But I can’t turn down free money. You got a bet.


 

[as Liyuan looks through the binoculars to pick a player Nicky pulls Jess to one side]
Jess: What are you doing? Don’t drag me into this. What, it’s not enough you lost everyone’s money? My money?
Liyuan: Oh, she sounds like my wife.
Jess: Get your hands off me! You’re sick.
[she goes to leave]
Liyuan: Hey, hey, come on. Wait, wait.
[one of Liyuan’s men go to stop Jess]
Nicky: Woh. Don’t put your hands on her. What the hell is your problem?
Liyuan: Steven, stop! Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah!
Nicky: Tell him to keep his damn hands to himself!
Liyuan: I understand. I understand. I am sorry. He has gotten carried away. He likes pretend that he is the Kevin Costner and I am the Whitney Houston.
Nicky: The hell!
Liyuan: Steven. Please, he just knows that I want to play. Let’s play.


 

Nicky: Look at me. Hey.
Jess: Please, don’t make me do this, Nicky. Please.
Nicky: Just pick.
Jess: Don’t make me do this.
Nicky: Jess.
Jess: Just let me go.
Nicky: Just do it. Pick a fucking player.
Jess: Please, don’t make me do this, Nicky. Please. Please.
[looking through the binoculars]
Liyuan: Okay. I got one. Do you want me to write it down?
Nicky: No, I trust you.
Jess: Nicky.
Nicky: Then it’s her turn.
[to Jess]
Nicky: Just do it. Pick. Pick a fucking player.
Liyuan: He’s crazy, I know. But it will be his fault, not yours.


 

[Jess looks through the binoculars at the players trying to pick a number]
Jess: I don’t know. I don’t…
[to Nicky]
Liyuan: Look. I give you one chance to back down, okay? No hard feelings.
[Nicky pauses a moment before looking at Jess]
Nicky: Pick.
Liyuan: Wow.
[Jess reluctantly looks at the players through the binoculars again]
Jess: I guess… I guess number…focus-7
[suddenly she spots Farhad wearing a jersey with 55 on it]
Jess: Wait.
[she realizes what’s going on]
Jess: Number 55.
[Liyuan smiles and looks at Nicky]
Liyuan: No. No. No, no, no, no fucking way! That is unbelievable! How did you do that?


 

Jess: I’m right?
Liyuan: Fuck!
Jess: Am I right?
Liyuan: Yes! You’re fucking right!
Jess: I’m right?
Liyuan: Fucking shit!
Jess: Oh, my God.
Liyuan: You’re fucking right. That is great.
Jess: You’re not mad?
Liyuan: No fucking way!
Jess: No?
Liyuan: I’m not mad.
[he kisses Jess on the cheek]
Liyuan: We have got to go to Vegas, right now. I have a jet. Oh, that was incredible. Did you see what she just did? And, you…you. Oh, you have got some big fucking balls. You are my new fucking hero.
Nicky: Double or nothing?
Liyuan: No! No fucking way! Get the fuck out of my suite! Now!


 

[to the coach on the playing field]
Farhad: We’re good, coach. Consider your debt settled.
[Nick and Jess leave the game]
Jess: I am going to kill you.
Nicky: Kill me later.
[after they get into the car Jess laughs and starts hitting Nicky]
Jess: I’m going to kill you! What?
Nicky: You did great. You did great. You did great.
Jess: Oh, my God. How did you do that?
Nicky: Liyuan Tse. Legendary gambler. He bets on everything, anything. Huge cash bets, all the time. Once the Bellagio put Bill Gates out of the high-rollers suite because Liyuan was flying in. He is the perfect vic.
Jess: But how did you know who he was gonna pick?
Nicky: We told him to. We’ve been telling him all day.


 

[referring to Liyuan]
Nicky: [voice over] From the moment he left his hotel room, we’ve been priming him. Programing his subconscious. He’s been seeing the number 55 all day long. On the elevator. In the lobby. Even the stick pin on the doorman. Not only that, we loaded his route from the hotel to the stadium. He looks out the window, primers are everywhere. Now, he doesn’t see it, but he does. There’s no getting around it. He even sees Farhad.
[we see flashback to Liyuan seeing Farhad stuck in traffic arguing with someone]
Nicky: [voice over] Suggestions are everywhere. From the number of flowers in a vase to the tramp stamp on the hooker we sent to his room last night.
Jess: That is genius.
Nicky: Yeah. And it’s not only what he sees. It’s what he hears.


 

Nicky: [voice over] The Mandarin word for five is woo. There are one hundred and twenty-four “woo-woos” in “Sympathy for the Devil.” Now, he’s not registering it, but it’s all there. So when he picks up those binoculars, looks out on the field, sees a familiar face with the number 55 on his jersey some tittie voice in the back of his mind says: “That’s it.” And he thinks it’s intuition. And he picks.
[to Nicky back to when Liyuan picked his number]
Liyuan: Do you want me to write it down?
Nicky: [voice over] And you, being in the dark, was the convincer. We call that the “Little Blind Mouse.”
Jess: I’m the “Blind Mouse”? You’re such an asshole. You can’t tell me that’s one hundred percent real.
Nicky: Well, it’s probabilistic. Farhad has it at about fifty-nine percent, but it’s better than Vegas.
Jess: And what if he picked wrong?
Nicky: Double it till it happens.
Jess: That’s amazing. You’re amazing. Nicky!
[she kisses him]
Jess: What’s wrong?
Nicky: You did great.
Jess: Okay.

 

 


Total Quotes: 135


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