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Starring: Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Mike Moh, Tim Blake Nelson, Marwan Kenzari, Anna Deavere Smith, Lizze Broadway, Mustafa Shakir, Amy Sedaris, Tate Donovan, Scott Vogel, Burn Gorman
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Apple TV+ action adventure romantic comedy directed by Dexter Fletcher. Ghosted (2023) follows Cole (Chris Evans), who falls head over heels for enigmatic Sadie (Ana de Armas), but then after being ghosted by her, Cole decides to surprise her in London. He soon makes the shocking discovery that Sadie is actually a secret agent. But before they can decide on a second date, Cole and Sadie are swept away on an international adventure.
Sadie Rhodes: I didn’t really know her, but she was the same as me. Same age, same job. The one time I was in her house, it was the same as mine. Nice, but cold. Empty, except for one sad houseplant, which is more than I have. She died alone.
Claudia Yates: Sadie, stay present. No big moves. No big changes.
Sadie Rhodes: So don’t marry the rafting guide I just met?
Claudia Yates: Maybe start with a houseplant.
Sadie Rhodes: I’d probably eat it. My cold, empty house has a cold, empty fridge.
Martin: You’d lose your butt if it wasn’t attached to you.
Cole Turner: Well, you lost your hair, and that was attached.
Martin: I walked into that one.
Martin: Yeah, heard you got dumped. Tough break, man.
Cole Turner: Edna.
Edna: I gossip when I’m bored.
Cole Turner: For your information, it was mutual.
Martin: That’s what everyone says after getting dumped.
Cole Turner: [referring to the plant] Don’t let any pets eat the leaves. They can be slightly toxic.
Sadie Rhodes: Pretty and slightly toxic. What is it with me and roommates?
Cole Turner: Didn’t realize you roomed with all of my exes.
Sadie Rhodes: How about if you find me something a little less needy?
Cole Turner: Right. Why not just get a plastic plant?
Sadie Rhodes: That’s sad.
Cole Turner: Well, not as sad as killing a plant. And some of the new ones, they look totally real. No amount of neglect will kill them.
Sadie Rhodes: Neglect?
Cole Turner: [to Sadie] Alright, you know what? Hey, want a plant? Here. Cactus. Requires the bare minimum love a human can give. So you’ll totally kill it.
Edna: [referring to Sadie] I thought for sure you two were going to exchange numbers.
Cole Turner: What?
Edna: Yes. I thought, under all that stupid fighting, you were flirting.
Cole Turner: Wait. We were flirting?
Edna: Are you kidding me? Are you high? The sexual tension was off the charts.
Sadie Rhodes: Oh, gosh, don’t tell me you’re one of those big, tough guys who’s afraid to leave the country.
Cole Turner: Okay, first of all, thank you for calling me big and tough. Let’s keep that going.
'Death, anyone's, can fill us with urgency.' - Claudia Yates (Ghosted) Click To Tweet
Sadie Rhodes: I don’t get scared by movies.
Cole Turner: Yeah, because you haven’t seen The Exorcist.
Sadie Rhodes: No, because you can choose not being scared.
Cole Turner: How do you make that look cool?
Sadie Rhodes: That’s rockaoke. No dignity here.
Sadie Rhodes: If only people could be more like your cactus.
Cole Turner: Not needing watering all the time?
Sadie Rhodes: Right. Exactly.
Cole Turner: Just living their own lives.
Sadie Rhodes: Yeah. Not needing someone else like nourishing them.
Cole Turner: That makes sense.
Mom: [referring to Cole] Look who’s finally home.
Mattie Turner: God, take it easy, Mom. He just got back from having sex with a stranger, not fighting the Germans.
Cole Turner: Well, her name is Sadie, and she is incredible. I mean, I know this sounds a little crazy, but I think she might be the one.
Mom: Oh, really? Well, that’s fast.
'I think the trips that you plan the least are the ones that give you the most.' - Cole Turner (Ghosted) Click To Tweet
Mattie Turner: You took a selfie in bed while she was asleep? Dude, that’s weird. That’s what serial killers do before they kill their victims and harvest their eyelids.
Cole Turner: I was happy. I wanted to preserve the moment.
Dad: Cole, you can get a bit…
Mattie Turner: Smothering, needy, pathetic, desperate, delusional.
Cole Turner: Look, I’m not needy, and I’m not smothering. And for your information, I’ve sent Sadie one text today. One. Three. And some light emoji stuff, but that doesn’t count.
Mattie Turner: Emoji stuff counts.
Dad: Maybe your phone’s broken.
Mattie Turner: Yeah, maybe you should do a hard reset.
Cole Turner: There’s nothing wrong with my phone.
Mattie Turner: Oh, no, no, no. I meant with your life.
'Our struggles make us stronger.' - Sadie Rhodes (Ghosted) Click To Tweet
Mattie Turner: He came off way too strong, so she ghosted him.
Mattie Turner: Yeah. It’s when someone breaks off all contact. For example, let’s just say a young lady makes a horrible, horrible mistake one night, and then the guy just keeps on texting her with emojis, over and over.
Cole Turner: She did not ghost me. Okay?
Mattie Turner: She did.
Cole Turner: The woman of my dreams is in London.
Dad: Oh, London, the Lady in the Mist.
Mattie Turner: No one calls it that.
Dad: The Gray Lady.
Mattie Turner: No, that’s New York Times.
Mom: [to Cole] Yeah, show up and surprise her. It’d be a romantic gesture. Something we can tell our grandchildren.
Mattie Turner: Mom, you can’t be serious. Cole, going to London? No.
Mattie Turner: She’s going to think you’re psycho.
Cole Turner: Or she’ll think that I’m the kind of guy that’s willing to jump on a plane at a moment’s notice.
Mattie Turner: Wait. But you’re not that kind of guy. You do not travel anywhere. You haven’t even left the country.
Dad: That’s not true. He was conceived in Ontario.
Cole Turner: So it’s not like a weird stalker thing. It’s just a grand romantic gesture.
English Cabbie: Yeah, that’s amazing, mate! I mean, I admire your confidence. Five thousand miles to surprise a girl who you’ve only met once. I mean, that is the epitome of romance, mate.
Cole Turner: Yeah, exactly. See, you get it.
English Cabbie: Especially if she’s the one who ghosted you.
'Protecting the people you love is never a mistake.' - Cole Turner (Ghosted) Click To Tweet
Cole Turner: She didn’t ghost me. She just doesn’t have an international calling plan.
English Cabbie: Oh, right. An international art curator, doesn’t have an overseas calling plan. That’s very unusual.
Borislov: [after Cole’s been drugged and captured by some thugs] Listen to me. I can’t believe I’m quoting “The Taxman” to you. So lame. I really am turning into my dad. It’s true what they say. When you meet a celebrity, your IQ drops fifty points.
Borislov: [to Cole] It truly is an honor to torture you today.
Borislov: Spray-and-pray is short for “spray in your pants, and pray for the merciful release of death”.
Borislov: [to Cole] Normally, we like to start slow and build our way up. But you are special, so we begin with the murder hornet.
Cole Turner: [after she saves him] Sadie, what the hell is going on? Who are these people?
Sadie Rhodes: Bad guys. They set a trap for one of our agents, and you fell into it.
Cole Turner: Agents. Art agents?
Cole Turner: Who are you?
Sadie Rhodes: CIA. At least, until they find out about this fiasco. Keep moving.
Cole Turner: My God, you’re a spy!
Cole Turner: I’m so confused. They kept asking me about the Taxman.
Sadie Rhodes: They asked you about the Taxman?
Cole Turner: No, they think I am a Taxman.
Sadie Rhodes: They think you’re the Taxman? That the Taxman would actually fall for that lazy trap? They caught the Taxman, and it’s you?