Starring: Jillian Bell, Isla Fisher, Santiago Cabrera, June Squibb, Jane Curtin, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Stephnie Weir
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Disney+’s fantasy comedy directed by Sharon Maguire. Set in a magical world known as The Motherland, the story centers on Eleanor (Jillian Bell), a young, inexperienced fairy godmother-in-training, who discovers that her chosen profession is facing extinction. Determined to show that fairy godmothers are still needed, Eleanor tries to help a girl whose wish was ignored, only to discover that she grew into a woman named Mackenzie (Isla Fisher). who, having lost her husband years ago, has become disillusioned with the idea of a “happily ever after”.
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Our Favorite Quotes:'People want more than fearmongering. They want to laugh, and to hope, and be inspired to see the magic in the world. Because it's real.' - Mackenzie (Godmothered) Click To Tweet 'We think that love needs to look a certain way. A prince, a castle, a gown. We're trapped in the fairy tale when the real world is full of so much more.' - Eleanor (Godmothered) Click To Tweet 'Forget ever after. Just live happily.' - Eleanor (Godmothered) Click To Tweet
Agnes: Once upon a time, there was a magical place called the Motherland, where Fairy Godmothers lived and learned all they needed to know about godmothering. Oh, blah, blah, blah. We all know how this bit goes. This is not your usual fairy tale. Fairy tales end with “happily ever after”, and that’s where we begin.
Agnes: Good morning, Motherland! It’s almost the weekend, and you know what that means. Grab a pumpkin, raise your wands, break out the glass slippers, it’s time to party like it’s 1699. I’m going to kick things off with everyone’s favorite pop hit.
[puts on opera music]
Agnes: This is the story of Eleanor. She’s the Motherland’s youngest trainee, and the only person who’s bothered to apply in decades. All she wanted was to graduate, to be a real Fairy Godmother, to have her name in a book alongside the greats.
Moira: Recite it with me, please.
Fairy Godmothers: A glittery gown turns a frown upside down.
Moira: Once you’ve conjured the gown, you’re on your way to step two. Which is?
Fairy Godmothers: Find their true love.
Moira: Correct. Now, once the gown and true love are in place, we move on to step three.
Moira: Step three is happily ever after. It just happens.
Greta: Everyone knows that people have stopped believing in happily ever after. Well, everyone except Eleanor, that is. And she’s never going to be a Fairy Godmother.
Agnes: [after finding out that they are to be retrained as Tooth Fairies] Now, being a Tooth Fairy didn’t sound so bad to me. You only work nights. You’ve always got a little change in your pocket. But Eleanor, she was not about to give up her dream. All she needed was one assignment. And about forty to fifty years more training.
Eleanor: Can you keep a secret?
Agnes: I am a secret.
Agnes: [as Eleanor is about to leave Motherland] Knock them dead, kid.
Eleanor: Oh, Agnes, if everything goes right, nobody’s going to die.
Eleanor: [as she sees an inflatable scarecrow] What in Godmother’s name!
Eleanor: [after making the pumpkins explode] There’s got to be a better way to travel.
Beth: [finds Eleanor by the side of a road] You can’t sleep here.
Eleanor: Why? Are there dragons? Evil fairies?
Beth: In a manner of speaking, yeah.
Eleanor: [referring to the truck] Oh, your carriage must’ve required an enormous pumpkin. How many footmen are inside?
Beth: None. Just me. Beth.
Eleanor: [laughs] Beth. You’re hilarious. Everyone knows women don’t drive themselves. That’s what mice are for.
Beth: Sweetheart, are you on drugs?
Eleanor: Of course not. What are drugs?
Beth: Oh, boy. That’s a yes.
Eleanor: I’m looking for my future forever friend, Mackenzie Walsh. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts. In America.
Beth: Let’s see what we can find.
[gets out her phone]
Eleanor: Oh, good. A map.
Beth: Siri, search Mackenzie Walsh.
Siri: Okay. Here’s what I found.
Eleanor: Who said that? Is there a genie in there? Don’t answer that.
Eleanor: So then I said, “I don’t want to be a Tooth Fairy.”
Beth: Yep. I lost my heart to a Tooth Fairy one night at Burning Man in 2004.
Eleanor: They’re no good.
Floor Manager: What do you think you’re doing?
Eleanor: Looking for a sad little girl named Mackenzie Walsh. Awkward haircut, red, like an angry leprechaun.
Eleanor: I’m looking for Mackenzie Walsh.
Mackenzie: Yep, that is me. Hey, Murry, can you please move it along? I promised my kids I’d cook dinner tonight.
Eleanor: Then I must be looking for your daughter. Could you tell me how to find her?
Mackenzie: Who are you? The world’s laziest kidnapper? Why would I tell you where my kid is? Is this someone’s idea of a joke?
Eleanor: No, it can’t be you! You’re old. So old! This is a disaster. A woman your age couldn’t possibly still need someone to make her dreams come true.
Mackenzie: Yeah, right. Because I’m clearly living the dream.
Mackenzie: Now, who are you?
Eleanor: Well, I’m Eleanor, and I’m your Fairy Godmother.
Eleanor: And I’m here to help you find happily ever after.
Barb: [referring to increasing their rating] Okay, I could try a different shade of spray tan.
Grant: No, no, no, no. Ever since we switched you to coconut glow, you are killing it with teen girls and shut-ins.
Grant: [to Hugh] I’m sorry, what’s your name? I don’t care. You are boring. I am bored. You have bored me. Look at this guy. 2008 called. Wants its haircut back.
Barb: Actually, the numbers on his hair are huge. And his face and his smile. You should give your head a pat on the back. Way to go, Head.
Security Guard: [as they throw Eleanor out of the studio building] She ought to be committed.
Eleanor: Oh, I am. Totally committed.
Eleanor: I’m your Fairy Godmother.
Mackenzie: Just back off, lady!
Eleanor: Look, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true. Most Fairy Godmothers are a lot older. But if you can overlook my youth, and your total lack of experience, you’ll find I have a real can-do attitude that’s going to take us very, very far.
Mackenzie: [after Eleanor uses her magic to put Mackenzie in a sleeping bag] Wait, Ray, you can see this?
Ray: It’s kind of hard to miss. You look hot.
Mackenzie: You’re not really supposed to say that kind of thing in the workplace anymore.
Ray: I mean, your face is all red and sweaty.
Eleanor: [to Mackenzie] Now, do you have a carriage here, or shall we hitch a ride in someone else’s pumpkin?
Mackenzie: [referring to Grant] He can’t see me like this!
Eleanor: Oh! Why?
Mackenzie: Because you poofed me into a sleeping bag.
Mackenzie: I’m going to drop you at the South Station, and you can get on a Greyhound and head back to wherever it is you came from.
Eleanor: What? Did you say a greyhound?
Mackenzie: Yeah, a Greyhound bus.
Eleanor: They’re turning greyhounds into buses? Typically, they just become footmen. Actually, they would be faster than a pumpkin.
Mackenzie: Don’t you have somewhere else that you can go?
Eleanor: No. Not locally. Oh, except for those lovely princes in the alley said that I could stay with them. As long as I didn’t mind sharing knitting needles.
Mackenzie: Take this money and just get yourself something to eat.
Eleanor: Oh, thank you. I am really hungry.
[bites into the money and starts chewing it]
Eleanor: Oh, it’s hard and thin.
Mackenzie: Wait, stop! Spit it out! Spit it. Ew.
Eleanor: Why have we stopped at this hovel? Shouldn’t we proceed directly to the castle?
Mackenzie: This is the castle. I live here. Real estate prices must be much more expensive in Boston than they are in Motherland.
Eleanor: You’re putting me in the dungeon?
Mackenzie: It’s not a dungeon. It’s a basement.
Mackenzie: [referring to Jane’s anxiety of public singing] Did Beyoncé hyperventilate so badly in her eighth grade talent show that she passed out and cracked a rib? In seventh grade, it was hives. Remember? She itched and scratched those scabs so badly they got infected, I had to take her to the hospital at two in the morning. She had a fever of a hundred and three. Doctor said she could have got sepsis.
Paula: If you ever get sick of your job as a TV producer, maybe you could become a motivational speaker.
Eleanor: [referring to wedding photos] Is this your true love?
Mackenzie: Not anymore.
Eleanor: What? What do you mean? Step three says that you find your true love, and you live happily ever after.
Mackenzie: Well, we did live happily. But life isn’t always a fairy tale. Sometimes people grow, or change, or get divorced, or fall out of love, or run off and join a cult, or fall in love with a skinny Pilates instructor.
Mackenzie: Life isn’t as simple as “happily ever after”.
Eleanor: But it has to be. I came all this way to help you find your heart’s desire.
Mackenzie: Well, my heart’s desire now would be a clean house, and maybe the eyebrows that I had before I started stress plucking.
Eleanor: That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. What happened to the little girl that wrote me this letter?
Mackenzie: I guess she grew up.
Eleanor: [referring to Mackenzie’s eyebrows] Now they look just great. Like two little fox tails.
Mackenzie: What? What have you done to my eyebrows? What have you done to my house?
Eleanor: Last night, I did some thinking. Now, I know you don’t believe in happily ever after, but that’s why I’m here. And if we’re going to find it for you, you’ll need a castle. The hovel won’t work.
Mackenzie: You turned it into Medieval Times.
Eleanor: I know. Right?
Mackenzie: You turned my dog into a pig?!
Eleanor: Well, technically, he’s a piglet. I was trying for a woodland creature to help out with all this housework, obviously. But then the spell got away from me.
Mia: Mom has a Fairy Godmother.
Mackenzie: No. Eleanor is a set decorator from the station.
Eleanor: [everyone screams when they see the raccoon] Oh, it’s okay. He’s just here to help with the housework.
Mackenzie: Oh, right. Does he do laundry as well?
Eleanor: I’d keep him away from your clothes. Raccoons are best for light work. They’re very good with brooms, dusting, and sweeping.
Mia: Can you magic me a new iPad?
Eleanor: Sure. One eye patch, as requested.
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