The Hangover 2 Quotes: Feels like Déjà Vu!

(Total Quotes: 84)

Directed by: Todd Phillips
Written by:
Craig Mazin
Scot Armstrong
Todd Phillips
Jon Lucas (characters)
Scott Moore (characters)
Bradley Cooper – Phil
Ed Helms – Stu
Zach Galifianakis – Alan
Justin Bartha – Doug
Ken Jeong – Mr. Chow
Paul Giamatti – Kingsley
Mike Tyson – Himself
Jeffrey Tambor – Sid Garner
Mason Lee – Teddy
Jamie Chung – Lauren
Sasha Barrese – Tracy
Gillian Vigman – Stephanie
Aroon Seeboonruang – Monk
Nirut Sirichanya – Fohn
Yasmin Lee – Kimmy


The Hangover 2 quotes are pretty much a repetitious rehash of the first movie. The story used the same ingredients as the first movie’s plot but just set in a different location. If you enjoyed watching the first movie then I can only say it’s best to not expect anything better.

Verdict: Although the movie certainly fails in providing anything original, it still offer some funny moments so you won’t feel totally cheated.

The Hangover 2 Quotes Page  1   2


[first lines; Stu’s office telephone answering message]
Voice on voicemail: Hi, you’ve reached the office of Dr. Stuart Price. Please note the office will be closed until the twenty fourth. If it’s an emergency please check…


[Stu’s cell phone answering message]
Stu: Hi, this is Dr. Stuart Price. I’m getting married, so I’ll be out of the country for two weeks. I’m not sure if I’ll have cell service. If this is a dental emergency please…


[Lauren’s father referring to Stu]
Fohn: I looked into his eyes. They’re not the eyes of a man. The eyes of a coward!


[Tracy answers her cell phone]
Tracy: Phil?hangover-2-2
Phil: Tracy, I’m sorry.
Tracy: Where the hell are you?
Phil: It happened again!
Tracy: Don’t say that. Please!
Phil: No! This time we really fucked up!
Tracy: Seriously, what is wrong with you three?
Phil: So much, Trace, I don’t even know where to begin.
Tracy: Oh, God! How bad? Like no wedding bad?
Phil: Yeah! Little worse than that.


[looking into Phil’s mouth]
Stu: You really need to floss more.
Phil: Fuck that! That’s why I come here.
Stu: Well, then you should come more than once every two years.
Phil: Why? So you could bleed me of all my money?
Stu: I never charge you a dime, Phil.


[referring to why he chose to get married in Thailand]
Stu: But it’s where her parents are from and it means a lot them.
Phil: Who gives a shit about her parents? And her dad hates you.
Stu: He doesn’t hate me. He’s just never spoken to me. I think it’s cultural think.
Phil: Why can’t you just get married in Vegas, like you did last time? It’s so much easier.
Stu: Why can’t you just be excited for me? This is my wedding!
Phil: You really happy, huh?
Stu: I really am.


[just as Phil is leaving Stu’s dental office]
Stu: Phil?
Phil: Hmm?
Stu: Put the prescription pad back.
[Phil comes back, reaches into the front of his pants and pulls out the pad]
Stu: Thank you. You know that’s a felony, right?
Fuck you, man!
[Phil walks out of the office again]
Stu: Was this right up against your scrotum?
[as he’s walking away]
Phil: Yep.


[Doug is trying to convince Stu to invite Alan to his wedding]
Stu: No fucking way! Absolutely not!
Doug: Come on, Stu! It’s killing him!
Stu: I don’t care. Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
Phil: Woh!
Doug: I get it. I really do. It’s just, you know what? Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
Stu: I consider Alan to be insane.
Phil: Stu, throw him a bone! Doug already said his dad would pay for everything he eats and everything breaks.
Stu: Um-hmm.


[as they are sat at dinner eating lunch]
Stu: I’m glad you brought that up. Because this is the bachelor party.
Doug: What?
Phil: What are you talking about?
Stu: Yeah! It’s my bachelor brunch. Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress.
Phil: That’s bullshit! You can’t just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.
Stu: Do you see that?
[pointing to his glass of orange juice]
Stu: That’s orange juice with a napkin on top. Do you know why? So nobody roofies me.
Phil: Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party!


[after Stu’s told them that eating at the diner is his bachelor party]
Doug: Come on, Stu! Don’t you think you’re over reacting?
Stu: No, I don’t. I’m still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back together. And you know what the glue is? Lauren! And I’m not doing anything to screw that up.
Phil: Oh, please! You wouldn’t even be with her if it wasn’t for us.
Stu: Oh, this will be good!
Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa and two years later you meet your true soul mate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt!
[the table next to them gives Phil a look]
Phil: [sarcastically] Oh, it’s okay. No! No! I’m allowed to say it. It’s a bachelor party. Drink up, everybody. Oh wait! There’s no alcohol. I forgot. We’re at a fucking IHOP.
Stu: Well, it’s my decision. And it’s final. So, how about a toast?
Phil: This sucks! I’m gonna wait in the car.


Sid Garner: Alan’s been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the wedding.
Stu: I’m sure he has.
Sid Garner: Yeah. He’s been standing outside by the mail box everyday.
Phil: Wow! That rough.
Sid Garner: Yeah. I uh…I’m not quite sure he ever left Vegas, you know? He really needs this.


[entering Alan’s bedroom who’s still living with his parents]
Phil: Pretty cool room, Alan.
Alan: Oh, thanks Phil. My dad pays my rent.hangover-2-3
[looking at the photo’s stuck on the walls of Alan’s room]
Doug: Alan, what the fuck?
[referring to the photo’s they’d taken whilst on roofie during the Vegas bachelor party]
Doug: You were supposed to delete these! You made a promise
Stu: Woh! Woh! Woh! What the hell? I’m not cool with this all! You can’t have these!
Alan: Relax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here.
Stu: Total violation of trust!


[as Alan’s mum comes to collect his lunch dishes]
Alan: I guess we don’t do desert anymore. I didn’t get that memo.
Linda Garner: Well, I’m sorry darling. I’ll be right back.
[as she turns to leave]
Alan: Would a cupcake kill you?


[to Alan]
Doug: Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
Stu: Well only if you’re not busy.
Phil: Stu?
Stu: Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
Alan: Nope, they’re in Raleigh, Durham that weekend.


[after Doug has told him Stu has invited him to the wedding]
Alan: Are you really being serious, Stu? You’re inviting me?
Stu: Yeah, why not? It’ll be fun, right?
Alan: Phil, are you going?
Phil: Of course!
Alan: Then it will be fun.
[he suddenly grabs a syringe from his fridge, stabs himself with the needle and injects himself]
Stu: Ah!
Phil: Wow! What the fuck are you doin’, man?
Alan: It’s my immunizations. It’s the last day I can do it.
Stu: That’s supposed to be done by a registered nurse!
Alan: I’m a nurse. I’m just not registered.


Stu: Yes Alan, my bride’s little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that okay with you?
Alan: Just the first time I’ve heard of it. You could have paged me.


[after getting introduced to Stu’s finance’s younger brother]
Alan: So what are you a doctor?
Teddy: No. Not yet. I’m pre-med.
Alan: Ever heard of that guy, Doogie Howser?
Teddy: Yeah.
Alan: Well, he turned out to be a gay.
Doug: Alan!
Alan: It’s true. I read it in Teen People.


Teddy: Hey, mind if I sit?
Alan: Wolfpack only. Find another chair.


Stu: You know, between Teddy and me you must be pretty excited. Pretty soon you’ll have two doctors in the family.
Fohn: You have to realize that in my country we don’t consider dentist to be a real doctor.
Lauren: Dad!
Stu: Okay.
Fohn: Anyway, I have to go and talk to Teddy about his chello performance tonight.


[as he hangs up talking to his dad Alan walks over to Stu and Lauren]
Alan: That was uh…my dad. I’m a stay at home son. We were discussing your wedding gift. He’s sparing no expense.
Stu: Oh! That’s so unnecessary.
Alan: I’ve been uh…meaning to ask someone, I noticed that this is a fishing village, is there a Long John Silvers on the island?
Lauren: You know, no, I don’t think so. I’m so sorry.
Stu: But we are actually serving some great fresh sea food.
Alan: Better than Long John’s?
Stu: Yes.
Alan: I’ll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening.
Lauren: You too.
[he suddenly grabs Lauren’s wine glass and walks away with it]


[at Stu’s pre-wedding dinner, Lauren’s father stands to give a speech]
Fohn: I admit it. When I first met Stu I was not quite sold. He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination. He was missing the spark you look for in a man. But then I look into Stu’s eyes, he reminded me of my sweet brother, Chio. For those who do not know, Chio is learning disabled and lives in group home.
[Alan laughs]
Fohn: But Chio loves khao and that’s when I realized, Stu is khao.
[Stu whispers to Lauren]
Stu: What’s khao?
Fohn: Khao is soft white rice in lukewarm water. It has no taste. Befitted to small babies and very old people. It is nourishment that everyone can digest. The world needs khao, just as the world needs people like Stu.
[he raises his champagne glass]
Fohn: To my sweet daughter and Stu. Congratulations.


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Total Quotes: 84



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