Starring: Adam Sandler, Julie Bowen, Maya Rudolph, Kevin James, Kenan Thompson, Ray Liotta, Steve Buscemi, Rob Schneider, Michael Chiklis, China Anne McClain
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Netflix’s horror comedy directed by Steven Brill and co-written by Adam Sandler. The story follows good-natured but eccentric community volunteer Hubie DuBois (Adam Sandler) at his hometown of Salem. However, at this year’s Halloween celebration, an escaped criminal and a mysterious new neighbor have Hubie on high alert. When people start disappearing, it’s up to Hubie to convince the police (Kevin James and Kenan Thompson) and the townsfolk that the monsters are real, and only he can stop them.
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Our Favorite Quote:'True bravery is being kind. Even to those who are being cruel to you.' - Hubie's Mom (Hubie Halloween) Click To Tweet
Orderly Hal: [to Hartman] Special delivery for Mr. Loon E. Tunes.
Orderly Hal: Catching some Z’s, huh? Did you go pee-pee while you sleepy, huh? I heard you can’t hold it in. Hartman? Hey. You quaking in your boots? You better be, because I’m your new attendant. The name’s Hal L. And you’re in my world now.
[after Hartman escapes]
Orderly Hal: Oh! Psycho on the loose!
[as he’s riding his bike in the neighborhood]
Hubie Dubois: Halloween’s upon us.
DJ Aurora Voice: Hello, my witches and warlocks. It’s your ghoulish DJ Aurora. I hope you’re ready for tomorrow night and all the spooky things that frighten. I know I am.
[as a kid throws an egg at him]
Hubie Dubois: Hey, you missed. The yolk’s on you.
[after he drinks the raw eggs]
Hubie Dubois: Rocky Balboa style.
Hubie Dubois: Okay. Number fifty-nine. Looking for fifty-nine.
[holds up his ticket]
Mr. Landolfa: Yep! Right here, Pubie. Give me a half-pound of roast beef.
Hubie Dubois: Mr. Landolfa, it’s Hubie. With an H.
Mr. Landolfa: Not anymore.
Hubie Dubois: Mrs. Phillips, I’ll be with you in a minute.
Mr. Landolfa: Is that the first girl you ever talked to, Pubie?
Hubie Dubois: Hey, no. I talk to my girlfriend all the time.
Mr. Landolfa: I’ve never seen you with a girlfriend.
Hubie Dubois: She is a Canadian resident of Canada. Uh, Canada Dry region.
Hubie Dubois: Lambardi’s Pizza is doing a sale tomorrow. One slice, one soda, one dollar, if you wear a costume to the shop. To me, that’s a great deal, but it’s also a riot waiting to happen.
Sgt. Steve Downey: Call the hotline.
Hubie Dubois: I did call the hotline a hundred times, but I think you guys got a connection problem.
[Hubie calls the cops]
Sgt. Blake: Salem PD.
Hubie Dubois: Yes, Officer, this is Hubie Dubois.
[the Blake hangs up the phone]
Walter Lambert: Boy, that was quite a tumble you took there, fella.
Hubie Dubois: Nope. Nothing broken, physically speaking.
Hubie Dubois: You got to expect a scare here or there.
Walter Lambert: Oh. Say, that’s some heck of a thermos.
Hubie Dubois: Yeah, that’s my baby. It’s kind of like a Swiss Army thermos. I made it when I was in the Scouts.
[referring to Hubie’s Halloween lawn display]
Walter Lambert: Your kids must have helped you with all of this.
Hubie Dubois: Oh. Yeah, I don’t have any kids. As far as I know. No, I definitely don’t. I do have a girlfriend. She lives up in Canada. Northern section. Ontarionto. So, you probably couldn’t find her up there.
Walter Lambert: I’m going to invite you, and mom, over for dinner once I get my kitchen set up, because I make the best chili east side of the Rockies.
Hubie Dubois: Ooh. My belly just said yes for the both of us.
[we hear Hubie fart]
Walter Lambert: And your butt just made some room.
Hubie Dubois: It must’ve got loosened out of me with the landing.
Walter Lambert: It’s fine. It’s natural.
Hubie’s Mom: Did that darn skeleton frighten you again, Hubie?
Hubie Dubois: No! I was just practicing yelling, mom. Everything’s good.
[referring to the writing on the shirt]
Hubie Dubois: “bo**r donor.” Now, what does that even mean?
Hubie’s Mom: Well, I think bo**r’s another word for a mistake. Like, I made a big bo**r in math class. So maybe bo**r donor means I donate mistakes.
Hubie Dubois: That makes sense.
Hubie’s Mom: Now, I know that Halloween is very special to you, sweet boy. It’s been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high.
Hubie Dubois: Well, we’re Jewish. So that eliminated Christmas, and Easter, and Ash Wednesday.
Hubie’s Mom: And I am so proud at how hard you work to make sure that Halloween is safe and fun for everyone in this town.
Hubie Dubois: I’m sensing a big “but” coming.
Hubie’s Mom: But.
Hubie Dubois: Okay.
Hubie’s Mom: This town is as full of bullies now as it ever was in the 1600s. You have to learn to stand up for yourself.
Hubie Dubois: I just get scared.
Hubie’s Mom: I know you do. We all get scared. But this year, you’re going to have to find that bravery that’s deep within you. It’s time.
[looking at his photo from his high school year book]
Hubie Dubois: “Most likely to marry his pillow.” Still don’t get that one.
[as he’s looking at the old high school photo of Violet and Steve]
Hubie Dubois: Maybe if I wasn’t such a scaredy-cat like mom was saying, I would have asked you out. And the cutest couple would have been Violet and Hubie.
[referring to their dead pig, Peanut]
Farmer Louise: You know what I think done it? A werewolf.
Farmer Dan: I think you’ve been watching too many scary movies, Louise.
Farmer Louise: And I think you’ve been eating too many of your own boogers, Dan.
Farmer Dan: Oh, at least my mama don’t stink the toilet up so bad, we got to get rid of the shower curtain.
Farmer Louise: Oh, you going to bring up my mama in front of the police, huh? Ain’t nobody say nothing about your big a** mama. She come in the house and broke all the furniture.
Farmer Dan: My mom wouldn’t break up the furniture if you hadn’t bought that cheap Ikea stuff and put it together with a butter knife!
Farmer Louise: Well, if I had a real man, then I wouldn’t have to do it myself now, would I?
[referring to their pig]
Farmer Dan: Peanut’s dead!
Farmer Louise: We going to eat Peanut tonight!
Hubie Dubois: Hey, Dot. So, I saw there were massive lines out front. I took the liberty to print up some Happy Halloween word searches. You can pass it out to the kids. Give them something to do while they’re waiting.
Dot: Oh, Hubie, how lovely. Thank you so much.
Hubie Dubois: Of course.
[as she turns to walk away she tosses the leaflets into the trash]
[referring to the statue]
Hubie Dubois: Of course, that’s my great-great-great-great-great-grandmother. She saw some bad things happening, but she spoke out. Said there’s no such thing as witches.
Violet Valentine: Very brave.
Hubie Dubois: Yeah. Maybe too brave. Because they called her a witch, and ended up like this fella. The unfortunate dangling Dave.
Violet Valentine: God, I love the way you phrase things.
Hubie Dubois: So, how are you and Officer Steve doing? I saw him yesterday in his squad car. We were talking shop. You know, code 10-4, 10-5. That kind of thing.
Violet Valentine: Well, since we’ve been divorced four years, I don’t really know how he’s doing.
Hubie Dubois: Oh, well, don’t lose faith. You guys will get through this rough patch.
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