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Starring: Cooper Hoffman, Alana Haim, Bradley Cooper, Benny Safdie, Maya Rudolph, Ben Stiller, John C. Reilly, Sean Penn, Tom Waits
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Coming of age comedy drama written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. Set in 1970s San Fernando Valley, Licorice Pizza (2021) follows teenagers Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman), who is also an aspiring actor, and Alana Kane (Alana Haim), as they are growing up and falling in love in the Valley.
Our Favorite Quotes:'There's no gas-o in the goddamn car-o, Steve-o!' - Jon Peters (Licorice Pizza) Click To Tweet
Gary: Dinner tonight?
Alana: Are you asking me out?
Alana: I’m not going on a date with you. You’re twelve.
Gary: You’re funny. I’m fifteen.
Gary: How old are you?
Alana: You’re not supposed to ask that. You’re not supposed to ask a girl how old she is. Annoying.
Gary: You’re right, it doesn’t matter to me.
Alana: I’m not going on a date with you, man. You’re fifteen.
Gary: “Man”. I like that.
Alana: “Kid”, how about that?
Gary: I’m not going on a date with you, kid. You’re fifteen.
Gary: I’m not trying to pressure you.
Alana: You are pressuring me. You are. That’s what you’re doing.
Gary: If you want to come and say hello, if it’s convenient within your plans, I’d love to see you.
Alana: “Convenient within my plans”?
Gary: I’ve been right here the whole time. I get this feeling I was meant to know you, Alana.
Alana: You know I’m twenty-five, right? I can be your friend, but I can’t be your girlfriend. That’s illegal.
Gary: You give me hope. This is fate that brought us together. This is fate.
Gary: How have I never seen you before? How have we never met?
Alana: Stop talking so much, slimy. We’ll see. I doubt it, but we’ll see.
Alana: Now I got to get back to work, and you have to get back to class.
Gary: Stop using time as an excuse, Alana. Our roads took us here.
Alana: Stop sounding like a philosophy guy, Albert Einstein. Maybe I’ll see you later. I’m not going to see you later!
Gary: I met the girl I’m going to marry one day, Greg.
Greg: Oh, yeah?
Gary: And you’re going to be my best man.
Alana: I can hear you breathing. Stop.
Alana: So how did you become such a hotshot actor?
Gary: I’m a showman. It’s my calling. I don’t know how to do anything else. It’s what I’m meant to do. I mean, ever since I was a kid, I’ve been a song and dance man.
Alana: Come on. Ever since you were a kid? Song and dance man?
Alana: You’re sweet, Gary. You’re going to be rich in a mansion by the time you’re sixteen. I’m going to be here taking photos of kids for their yearbooks when I’m thirty. You’re never going to remember me.
Gary: I’m not going to forget you. Just like you’re not going to forget me.
Alana: We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. Remember that. We’re, you know.
Gary: I know.
Lance Brannigan: [referring to Alana] Wow, super hot chaperone, Gar. Nice one.
Gary: That’s my friend, don’t think about that.
Lance Brannigan: Oh, man, are you kidding? My mind’s racing, doing circles around that track.
'Do you like peanut butter sandwiches?' - Jon Peters (Licorice Pizza) Click To Tweet
Gary: How you doing?
Vic the Director: Good. Divorced, but losing weight, so.
Gary: “My face is a pimply mess, and I don’t know what to do.”
Vic the Director: Cut. Fantabulous! You still got it, man.
Moti: Are you ready to do a berakhah on the challah?
Lance Brannigan: Oh, wow, thank you. However, I must respectfully refuse. I’m an atheist.
Alana: You’re Jewish.
Lance Brannigan: Well, you’re certainly right. I was born into Judaism. But my personal path has led me to atheism. You see, I just can’t believe there’s a God when I see all the suffering in the world. Vietnam, you know? So, with all due respect, no, sir. I can’t do the blessing, but thank you.
Alana: What does your p**is look like?
Lance Brannigan: What?
Alana: What does your p**is look like?
Lance Brannigan: Like a regular p**is, I guess.
Alana: Is it circumcised?
Lance Brannigan: Yeah.
Alana: Then you’re a f***ing Jew!
Alana: [as they’re arguing] What are you doing? What are you thinking, huh? “I’m Este. I work for Mom and Dad. I’m perfect. I’m a real estate agent. Alana doesn’t have her life together. Alana brings home stupid boyfriends all the time.”
Este: I mean…
Alana: I knew it. I knew that was what you were thinking. You’re always thinking things, you thinker. You thinker! You think things!
'Is this lines, or is this real?' - Alana (Licorice Pizza) Click To Tweet
Alana: Got to stop fighting with everyone all the time.
Danielle: Oh, f*** off, Danielle!
Mr. Jack: Nobody’s going to sleep on mattresses anymore. That’s old hat, Jack. That’s for squares.
Kirk: I have my dad’s pipe. So, we should give your customers some weed to help sell waterbeds.
Gary: Yeah, that is actually a good idea.
Gary: Is your bottom soggy? Having trouble sleeping?
Alana: Well, now that you mention it…
Gary: Boyfriend trouble?
Alana: No boyfriend. So I don’t really have trouble.
'Things come easily when they matter so much.' - Alana (Licorice Pizza) Click To Tweet
Alana: F*** off, teenagers!
Cop: [to Gary] You’re going to jail, big boy. You’re going to jail for murder. Have fun in Attica, d**khead.
Alana: Hey, “Soggy Bottom” sounds like someone s**t their pants.
Alana: That’s only funny to you guys. But when someone wants to buy a bed, they don’t want to think about s**tting, or s**tty diapers, or s**t in pants.
Gary: Well, the bed’s not just for sleeping, Alana.
Alana: Well, if it’s not just for sleeping, I think you mean it’s for sex. Soggy Bottom isn’t making anyone hot or horny.
Gary: It doesn’t make you hot?
Jerry Frick: [in fake Japanese accent] Kimiko, what you think of this waterbed?
Alana: [as Kimiko replies in Japanese] What did she just say?
Jerry Frick: It’s hard to tell, I don’t speak Japanese.
Alana: I’m partners with Gary now.
Frisbee Kahill: Oh, the Hand Man. Did he try and get a hand job from you?
Alana: Yeah, he’s asking all the time.
Frisbee Kahill: Good. I’ll pass the baton off to you.