Starring: Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Liza Soberano, Henry Eikenberry, Joe Chrest, Carla Gugino
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
Horror fantasy comedy directed by Zelda Williams and written by Diablo Cody. Lisa Frankenstein (2024) centers on misunderstood teenager, Lisa (Kathryn Newton), and her high school crush (Cole Sprouse), who happens to be a handsome corpse. After a set of playfully horrific circumstances bring him back to life, the two embark on a murderous journey to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts along the way.
Where to Watch:
Best Quotes
Taffy: Does he have more of a basketball bod or a football bod?
Lisa: He doesn’t play sports. He’s cerebral.
Taffy: He’s in a wheelchair?
Lisa: A young man. I tend to his grave and leave him flowers. And I talk to him sometimes.
Lisa: I just don’t think anyone should be forgotten.
Lisa: How do you know my name?
Michael Trent: Well, we’re both currently being educated in the same walls of asbestos.
Doug: [to Lisa] Your hair feels like Easter grass. How much cans of White Rain you got in there, kid?
Lisa: [as the Creature’s graveside] I wish I was with you.
Janet: I always know. I’m an IP. Intuitive Person. Took a whole seminar about it.
Janet: Dale, you need to stop munching the Grape-Nuts and be a father right now.
Janet: Lisa, do you know what happens to people who act out? They wind up in the loony bin.
Taffy: You’re a psych nurse, Mom. Should you be saying “loony bin”?
Janet: Zip it, Taff.
Taffy: We all have to spend more time together as a family. How can we Brady if we don’t bunch?
Janet: They have her doing the splits on the top of the damn pyramid. Do you know how hard that is on the groin muscles?
Taffy: It doesn’t even hurt anymore.
Janet: Well, because you put in the work. All those hours screaming with your legs spread against the wall.
Lisa: Taffy says it’s a waste of time to try and fix a boy. It’s better to just accept a guy’s flaws.
Lisa: Do you like this song? Do you like any other music? I have The Cure.
Lisa: [as the Creature points to his missing hand] Oh, it’s not that kind of cure. It’s a band. They can’t make you better. I mean, they can, but like emotionally.
Lisa: [to the Creature] When I said I wished I was with you, I didn’t mean that. I meant I wished I was in the ground, dead. Because life sucks and people are j**k-offs. I didn’t mean that I wanted to be with you. You know, in person.
Lisa: I don’t know why I’m talking so much. I haven’t said this many words in a row in forever.
Lisa: I’m going to turn on the college station. It’s for people like us. With feelings.
Taffy: We can’t just send off Lisa to the snake pit. She can barely survive PE.
Lisa: Daddy, I’m not crazy.
Dale: Nobody said that.
Taffy: Oh, my mom actually just did.
Janet: Well, I hate to say it, Lisa, but you are either crazy, or you’re just goddamned inconsiderate.
Taffy: [referring to Lisa] I want her to make friends with the right people. No punks, trenchies, or death clowns.
Michael Trent: Oscar Wilde said, “To define is to limit.”
Taffy: Okay. Well, Oscar the Grouch said, “Scram.”
Lisa: Are guys so simple that you just have to put on a pirate skeezer dress, and suddenly, they want to talk to you? Oh. Well, thanks, I guess. How will I ever repay you?
Lisa: [as the Creature points to his missing hand and ear] Well, I can’t just get you new parts. I mean, you’re a dead man, not a Chrysler LeBaron.
Lisa: [to the Creature, referring to the ear she sewed onto him] No reception. Dead meat. Well, maybe it could just be for looks. Like my cousin Carlene. She got a boob job. She can’t feel anything, but she still got a husband.
Dale: [as Lisa is drinking from a bottle] Is that sherry?
Lisa: No. It’s Lisa.
Taffy: Did she just make a joke?
Dale: It wasn’t very good.
Lisa: You never heat-style before a practice.
Taffy: Are you the crimper police? Are you from Conair PD?
Lisa: They kept saying, “Time heals all wounds.” But that’s a lie. Time is the wound. Takes you further and further from that place when you were happy. Makes those good smells go away.
Lisa: [to the Creature] When you cry, it smells like a hot toilet at a carnival.
Lisa: [to the Creature] Don’t feel bad about what we did. Janet was going to put me in a psych ward. You saved me. And Doug? Eh. We just wanted his hand. And now look what you can do with it. That hand was going to do terrible things. And now it’s a conduit for the talent of REO Speedwagon.
Taffy: I just called my mom’s hotel, and they’re saying that she never checked in. Anyway, there’s no one there by her name. I tried using her new last name, her old last name, her old-old last name, then I called 411, and tried calling the other Radisson in Milwaukee. I called all the Radissons in Milwaukee.
Lisa: You did a lot of calling.
Taffy: Lisa, you know I’m usually pretty cool about things, right? I’m a loose goose. I’m Laffy Taffy. But I have a bad feeling about this. I’m an IP, intuitive person. Just like my mom.
Taffy: Lisa, you have no idea how scary this is. You don’t have to worry about anything because your mom’s already been murdered.
Lisa: People are so afraid of death, because they don’t know when it’s going to happen to them. It could be an axe murderer, could be the flu, but they don’t know. And they hate that, so. I’m not afraid of death anymore. But I don’t want to die a virgin.
Lisa: We killed two people. I could get the clink for life or the electric chair. God. That’s like a tanning bed but for criminals.
Lisa: Taffy says that you have to show guys you love them instead of telling them.
Lisa: I’m not making any more comments. You can talk to my lawyer.
Officer Waters: I really hope this goth phase ends soon.
Lisa: S**t is transpiring, man.
Taffy: It’s just, guys usually only want me for one thing.
Lisa: Yeah, and you just gave it out like a cheese cube from Hickory Farms.
Lisa: I’m not sweet and simple like her? Not enough polarity for you, Werner Heisenberg? You like cool movies, and music, and stuff, but only for you. You want to be the smart one who likes cool stuff, and you don’t want your girlfriend to like cool stuff. Do you know how uncool that is?!
Michael Trent: You’re not making any sense.
Lisa: Thank you for being nice to me when no one else was. I did notice. It’s just that your mom was so heinous that I’d already decided that you were too. You’re the type of person who usually bullies me, or looks right through me. But you didn’t. You actually went out of your way to try to tell people I was part of your family. You really actually wanted me to be your sister. You are, you know? You are my sister. You’re a great person, Taff. And I’m sorry I hurt you. I love you.
Lisa: [to the Creature] I mean, you don’t need one of those to be a man. It’s actually like the least important part really.
Lisa: I don’t know how I was ever afraid of you.
The Creature: [now fully alive, reads Percy Shelley’s “To Mary” to a resurrected Lisa] “O Mary dear, that you were here, with your brown eyes bright and clear. And your sweet voice, like a bird, sSinging love to its lone mate. In the ivory bower disconsolate. Voice the sweetest ever heard! And your brow more than the sky. Of this azure Italy. Mary dear, come to me soon. I am not well whilst thou art far. As sunset to the sphered moon, as twilight to the western star, thou, beloved, art to me. O Mary dear, that you were here, the Castle echo whispers ‘Here!'”