Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) Best Movie Quotes

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Starring: Channing Tatum, Salma Hayek, Gavin Spokes, Caitlin Gerard, Christopher Bencomo, Ayub Khan Din, Juliette Motamed

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Comedy drama sequel directed by Steven Soderbergh. Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) centers on “Magic” Mike Lane (Channing Tatum), who takes to the stage again after a lengthy hiatus, following a business deal that went bust, leaving him broke and taking bartender gigs in Florida. For what he hopes will be one last hurrah, Mike heads to London with a wealthy socialite, Maxandra Mendoza (Salma Hayek), who lures him with an offer he can’t refuse, and an agenda all her own.

Read the movie review here.

Our Favorite Quotes:

'If there's anything I've learned, it's that you can't tell people anything. They have to have an experience.' - Victor (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Zadie Rattigan: The impulse to dance existed long before our primate ancestors evolved into humans. Evolutionary biologists suggest that dance was used by early humans to promote the social cooperation essential for our survival.

Zadie Rattigan: But despite its power to save our species, dance could not save a small furniture company in Miami from the economic tsunami of a global pandemic, so like many forty year-old Millennial white males, Mike Lane found himself alone and adrift in an ocean of failed relationships and unrealized dreams.

Kim’s Husband: [after Kim recognizes Mike as he was dressed as a cop at her party] Did you arrest her?
Mike Lane: No. I think I let you off with a warning. Right?
Kim: It was my pledge party. I was being very disorderly.
Mike Lane: You being good now? You behaving?
Kim: Yes. I’m great, actually.

Maxandra Mendoza: Really, I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s just I’m not normally like this, it’s just that I’ve had like the s**ttiest day, and the s**ttiest week, and the s**ttiest month, and the s**ttiest year.
Mike Lane: Same here. Welcome to the club.

Mike Lane: You’re serious right now? You’re going to pay me six thousand dollars to give you a dance?
Maxandra Mendoza: Yeah. But no happy endings, huh?

Mike Lane: So, I don’t know if you really know what you bought, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. And at any point I take you past your comfort zone…
Maxandra Mendoza: I f***ing slap you.
Mike Lane: You can slap me.

Mike Lane: [after they sleep together and Max speaks in Spanish] You said I move like water.
Maxandra Mendoza: I didn’t mean for you to understand that.
Mike Lane: Well, maybe you should be a little more careful what you say. Remember, I’m from Florida.

Maxandra Mendoza: If I had known what this night was going to be like, I would have gladly paid you the sixty thousand.
Mike Lane: It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I’m not going to take your money. I’m not even going to take the six grand.
Maxandra Mendoza: Who are you?
Mike Lane: I don’t know.

'People like to look at what they can't have.' - Mike Lane (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Maxandra Mendoza: Come with me to London.
Mike Lane: What’s in London?
Maxandra Mendoza: My life.

Mike Lane: Max, I can’t just up and leave my entire life here for you.
Maxandra Mendoza: Yes, you can.

Maxandra Mendoza: You should come with me, and then if it’s out of your comfort zone, then you just…
Mike Lane: I get to f***ing slap you?
Maxandra Mendoza: You can f***ing slap me. Let’s go.

Mike Lane: I don’t really f*** with vegetables.
Maxandra Mendoza: How do you have that body then?
Mike Lane: I don’t know. Genetics. Mom and Pops. How did you get so rich?
Maxandra Mendoza: Genetics, I guess.

Mike Lane: I don’t dance anymore.
Maxandra Mendoza: Then I can claim that I got Magic Mike’s Last Dance.

'In order to finish something, you have to make a start.' - Zadie Rattigan (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Maxandra Mendoza: We are not having sex. Completely out of the question.
Mike Lane: Why?
Maxandra Mendoza: You know, Mike, I actually think you have other talents. And this is what I’m invested in.

Mike Lane: You’ve purchased me for a month, let’s just say you say, “Jump.” I say, “Which bed?”
Maxandra Mendoza: Look, last night was kind of magical. It was amazing. So, let’s not f*** that up.

Mike Lane: Me and relationships don’t have a tendency to work out.
Maxandra Mendoza: Yeah, I can understand that. To freedom.

Mike Lane: [after he arrives in London] Do you have any idea what the f*** I’m doing here?
Victor: Regrettably, no, sir.
Mike Lane: Yeah. But you wouldn’t tell me even if you did know, would you?
Victor: I would be lying if I said I wasn’t lying, sir.

'One of the most primal feelings human beings experience is the desire to belong to feel connected to other beings, and to be part of a tribe.' - Zadie Rattigan (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Maxandra Mendoza: I think we should stop at Liberty’s first. Don’t you think?
Victor: I would let Harj know, so that he can mentally prepare.
Maxandra Mendoza: Good idea.
Mike Lane: What’s a Harj?

Maxandra Mendoza: When this very same play opened in 2004, the owner of the theater fell madly in love with this horribly insecure actress. And so, here’s where my love story with Roger began, and here is where it’s going to end.
Mike Lane: He must have loved your performance.
Maxandra Mendoza: I had three lines.

Mike Lane: [referring to the play] So what’s this s**t about?
Maxandra Mendoza: It’s the same old, will she marry for love or money bulls**t.
Mike Lane: So, what does she pick? Love or money?
Maxandra Mendoza: Who cares? The real question is, why does she feel like she has to choose?

Maxandra Mendoza: His artistry made me feel… There are no words. It’s just ecstasy. And in exactly one month, I want every woman that walks into this theater to feel the same kind of ecstasy that I did. To transcend. To break free. So, without further ado, I give you the visionary artist that inspired me so profoundly, and that will take us to the promised land. Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Jeffrey Lane.
Mike Lane: ‘Sup?

Mike Lane: You could’ve given me just a little heads-up before you threw me to the wolves in there.
Maxandra Mendoza: You would’ve been in your head, over thinking everything.
Mike Lane: It was better than not thinking anything at all.

'We all want a little bit of everything all of the time. But sometimes you just want to be everything to someone. Sometimes, the greatest fantasy of them all is knowing that you're the only one.' - Hannah (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Mike Lane: There’s got to be easier ways to get back at your husband for, I don’t know, whatever, than putting on a strip show.
Maxandra Mendoza: Oh, I’m not a scorned woman. And this is not a strip show. We are bringing the tsunami to London!

Maxandra Mendoza: Can’t you see? People are numb, disconnected, desensitized. We’re going to wake them up with a wave of passion they’ve never felt before.

Maxandra Mendoza: It will be a historical, one-night collaboration between the stage, and the…
Mike Lane: The thongs?
Maxandra Mendoza: I don’t know.
Mike Lane: Exactly.

Zadie Rattigan: Are you two hooking up?
Maxandra Mendoza: Zadie!
Mike Lane: Well, what’s funny about that is your mom actually is paying me to not hook up.

'Dance seeks no meaning for its desires. It does not value age or status, logic or reason. It is a compass orientated only to liberty, not unlike the human heart.' - Zadie Rattigan (Magic Mike's Last Dance) Click To Tweet

Zadie Rattigan: Everybody knows Isabel Ascendant has a wildly outdated, painfully misogynistic climax.
Maxandra Mendoza: Exactly. And that’s why our take is going to be so exciting, because they will be expecting that, and instead, they’re going to see that a woman can have whatever she wants, whenever she wants it.

Zadie Rattigan: Every few years she starts a big new project. Sometimes it’s a charity, a documentary, a new best friend. Each time it’s like she’s a new person.
Maxandra Mendoza: So what? Sue me for exploring myself and my contributions to the world.
Zadie Rattigan: But your contributions never see the light of day. There’s always some obstacle. We call her The Queen of the First Act.

Mike Lane: [to Max and Zadie, as they’re speaking in French] You know, pardon my French, but y’all are being rude as f***.

Ken: Money is water, Mike. It flows in both directions.

See more Magic Mike's Last Dance Quotes

Tito: Why are you in London?
Mike Lane: I don’t know, short story is that I was bartending at this charity event, and then at the end of the night I ended up giving this rich lady a lap dance. And now I’m living in her house in London, and going to put on a show at this famous theater that she owns. So, yeah.
Tarzan: Cool. Hey, sex work is nothing to be embarrassed about, Mikey. Especially when it’s the live-in kind.

Ken: I was looking at your chart last night, you know you’re in a once in thirty-three year Jupiter cycle, right?
Mike Lane: No, I didn’t. But that explains a lot I guess. Yeah.

Mike Lane: I’m just trying to survive to be honest.
Big Dick Richie: Surviving? Bro, you are a gig worker. Magic Mike’s coming back to the main stage.

Mike Lane: I don’t know. It’s totally bonkers over here.
Big Dick Richie: Who gives a s**t, man? She’s rich. Trust me. Do not leave that situation. Okay? Look at me, I’m basically a freaking glorified dog walker. Okay? You just need to make sure she doesn’t wake up, and all of a sudden want you out of the house. Which I have tips on, by the way, if you want them.

Ken: [to Mike] I feel it. I feel it in my solar plexus, brother. This is your dharma. Just stay in the flow.

Zadie Rattigan: For Mike, The Rattigan had no symbolic weight, it was simply where he had to work. And he reminded himself, in order to finish something, you have to make a start. For Maxandra, The Rattigan had been transformed. It went from existing only in the past to being a source of renewal.

Mike Lane: Who here, by show of hands has stood in front of a thousand women, and had to get butt-a** naked? Exactly. You want to find out how fast a group of sweet, nurturing moms can make you just go running, cowering into a dark corner, wishing you were never born? I promise you it can happen. I’ve seen it. And it can happen just like that.

Mike Lane: We got one month to turn y’all into the greatest group of strippers that has ever been assembled on planet Earth. And to do that, you boys got to be ready to get your hands dirty, your noses wet, and them nuts chafed as s**t. And look, if, if we do our jobs right, you’re going to have a whole other problem on your hands. You’re going to have to learn to protect yourself in a zombie apocalypse of repressed desire.

Hannah: I have a question. Can you, you know, f*** a zombie to death? Or is it still a kill shot to the head?

Hannah: [to Mike] It’s not what you said. It’s who you are. Do you have any idea of how long I’ve been dreaming of someone to walk through that door with a flame thrower, and burn this whole f***ing s**t to the ground?

Mike Lane: And if I’m honest, if you want to make a show about women getting what they want, wouldn’t it be a little f***ing chauvinistic to not have a female lead in it?
Maxandra Mendoza: Are you calling me chauvinistic?
Mike Lane: No.
Maxandra Mendoza: Because I’m the feminist here.

Mike Lane: [referring to the character in their show] It sounds to me that she just needs to let go.
Hannah: And some good d**k!
Mike Lane: Maybe that as well.

Maxandra Mendoza: This show is not about getting d**k only. She needs to solve her dilemma. It’s not like some magic unicorn is going to come down and make all her wildest fantasies come true.
Mike Lane: What was that? Could be not the worst idea.

Zadie Rattigan: [referring to Mike] He knew dancing could bring people together. Even if some of those people are snobs. And he knew that Victor was right, they would have laughed at him in a tie.

Alice: Anyways, so, give us the latest gossip, Max. And don’t hold back a lick.
Maxandra Mendoza: You know, I don’t hold back my licks.

Phoebe: It’s so smart to revive a classic.
Mike Lane: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don’t know if I would exactly call it a classic revival, Phoebe. But, you know, the way that I think we were looking at it is that it really needed to be stripped down, oiled, and spanked.

Robert: So, Mike, is there a vibrant theatrical community in Miami?
Mike Lane: Yeah. For the right amount of dollars, I think you can have as vibrant of a time as you would like.

Maxandra Mendoza: [to her friends, referring to Mike] You better talk to him while you can because he’s about to get super famous and super unavailable.

Phoebe: [to Mike, referring to Max and Roger] What she needs is to be able to stay with him, but not actually be with him. That would be the golden ticket.

Maxandra Mendoza: Are you real?
Mike Lane: What do you mean, am I real? Do you think I’m real?
Maxandra Mendoza: I don’t know. You know, sometimes you kind of feel like a dream. I mean, you look like a dream. You smell like a dream. You taste like a dream.

Zadie Rattigan: I’m writing a novel.
Mike Lane: A novel? They make you write novels in school over here?
Zadie Rattigan: Do you assume that because of my age, I only have the mental capacity to write a novel for school?
Mike Lane: No. I just don’t know anyone that’s ever written a novel.

Zadie Rattigan: [referring to Victor] If he acts like he likes you, he hates you. And if he acts like he hates you, it’s a sign of respect because he actually does hate you.
Mike Lane: Yeah, that’s not helpful. Why doesn’t he just quit?
Zadie Rattigan: Same reason you don’t quit. Systemic economic inequality.

Mike Lane: [referring to Max] Look, she’s doing the best she can. And she loves the s**t out of you.
Zadie Rattigan: I think the real question is why do you love the s**t out of her?
Mike Lane: Love is a really, really big word, Zadie. And, look, the truth is no one’s believed in me like your mom has.

Roger Rattigan: I hope the theater itself has treated you well thus far.
Mike Lane: Oh, she’s been a pleasure to be inside of.

Maxandra Mendoza: No woman wants to be suffocated by testiculos.
Mike Lane: That’s fair.
Maxandra Mendoza: It’s nice to expand, you know?
Mike Lane: Okay. Less testiculars and expansion.

Zadie Rattigan: Only when a leisure class began to emerge out of early economic development did humans begin to view dance as a source of pleasure apart from its original purpose, to bridge people together from different worlds, to heal wounds when words would not suffice.

Maxandra Mendoza: We have to go all the way to the top because our freedom is an illusion.
Victor: Yes, see when you start with no rights at all…
Maxandra Mendoza: So who is this person we need to seduce and get them on our side?
Zadie Rattigan: I.E., the definition of corruption.

Mike Lane: [referring to Edna] What if she didn’t even know what she wants?
Maxandra Mendoza: Well, that never stopped men from coming up with the wrong answer.

Mike Lane: What did you want before Miami?
Maxandra Mendoza: I just wanted to escape my life. But then, someone came along and gave me this unexpected magical moment, that made me remember who I really was. It was like a little treasure.

Maxandra Mendoza: Give me something that I don’t know about you.
Mike Lane: Why is it about me? This is about women. You’re a woman. I’m not. I’m not going to be dancing in the show.

Mike Lane: [referring to Max] Why do you work for her? You could easily work for Roger.
Victor: She’s got bigger balls.

Zadie Rattigan: Given the debate and confusion around the word “love” generally, what are we to make of the word “love” in the context of dancing? If you love dancing with someone, does that mean on some level that you love them? What other feelings are exchanged during a dance? Can you dance with someone you don’t trust? Should you trust someone just because they can dance? Max and Mike weren’t thinking about this, but they should have been.

Roger Rattigan: [referring to Mike] I know when you’re being used. Don’t you see that?
Maxandra Mendoza: No.
Roger Rattigan: Darling, I know we’re all getting old, but I didn’t know you were so desperate.
Maxandra Mendoza: F*** you! We care for each other.

Maxandra Mendoza: I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What was she thinking?”
Victor: You weren’t thinking, were you? You were falling in love.
Maxandra Mendoza: Oh, shut the f*** up. You think I don’t know that? And don’t you dare judge me. You were not there.

Maxandra Mendoza: [referring to Mike] That one f***ing dance changed everything in me. It feels like it made me the best version of myself, but everybody’s laughing at me. I’m a joke. An embarrassment. Not to him though. He believes in me.

Maxandra Mendoza: I have to go tell him that our show about empowering women is dead, because I’m so f***ing powerless. The most frightening part is that I’m about to find out if that dance meant as much to him as it did to me. Or if I’m just another goddamn Tuesday.
Victor: No, you’re more like a Thursday, madame.

Maxandra Mendoza: Have I always been this adolescent?
Victor: No. Only when it’s raining.

Mike Lane: You really are the Queen of the First Act, huh? Holy s**t.
Maxandra Mendoza: You don’t know anything about me. And you don’t understand anything.

Mike Lane: [to Max] You cannot say that what we’ve created so far isn’t f***ing special. You cannot say that. I know you can’t.

Mike Lane: [to Max] We’re good at this, and I’m not going to f***ing just let us give up on it. You’re so good at this. I bet you he never cared about what you were good at. Did he? Don’t let this be the end.

Mike Lane: I need a plumber and a ballerina.

Victor: The princess is on a hunger strike. Won’t even open the door.
Zadie Rattigan: What? She’s not even drinking?
Victor: I’m afraid not.
Zadie Rattigan: Did you try using your “wise British butler” voice?
Victor: Trust me, I went full metal Downton Abbey on her a**. And if that bloke doesn’t pull his head from his own a**, you’ll be parented from behind a closed door for months. Years, even.

Zadie Rattigan: Only the people who were there would ever experience the story of Max and Mike as told through dance.

Mike Lane: There’s small ships, there’s tall ships, there’re ships that sail the sea, there’s no ships like friendships, so here’s to you and me. One, two, three. Let’s go.

Hannah: I managed to have a little bit of everything. And now, it’s your turn. So, by the power vested in me through this Magic Mike, I command thee, Unicorn, send everything to us all right now!

Hannah: A body at rest is a body at rest. Right? You know, not bad. But a body in motion, there is absolutely nothing sexier than a body in motion. Am I right?

Hannah: Things are about to get intimate. Now, a real man isn’t afraid to act on his desire, but the sexiest act of submission is asking for permission.

Hannah: We all want a little bit of everything all of the time. Don’t we? But sometimes you just want to be everything to someone. Right? Sometimes, the greatest fantasy of them all is knowing that you’re the only one.

Maxandra Mendoza: You did it. It was amazing.
Mike Lane: Look around. All this is because of you.
Maxandra Mendoza: You are sublime.
Mike Lane: Look, I just want you to know I love you. Okay?
[Max kisses him]

Maxandra Mendoza: [to Mike] It’s done. I’m never, ever, ever going back to him. I am free and I am broke.

Zadie Rattigan: No one can claim to fully understand what exactly dance is, but what is abundantly clear is that dance seeks no meaning for its desires. It does not value age or status, logic or reason. It is a compass orientated only to liberty, not unlike the human heart. I stumbled upon these wisdoms when I met a lonely stripper named Mike.

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