Marry Me (2022) Best Movie Quotes – ‘Yes. I’ll marry you.’

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Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Sarah Silverman, John Bradley, Michelle Buteau, Chloe Coleman, Maluma

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Romantic comedy directed by Kat Coiro. Marry Me (2022) follows pop superstar Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez), who is set to marry her rock-star fiancé Bastian (Maluma) before an audience of their fans. But just before the ceremony Kat finds out that Bastian has cheated on her with her assistant. So, in a moment of inspired insanity, Kat locks eyes with a stranger in the crowd and chooses to marry divorced high-school math teacher Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson), who has been dragged to the ceremony by his daughter, Lou (Chloe Coleman), and his best friend, Parker Debbs (Sarah Silverman). What begins as an impulsive reaction evolves into an unexpected romance between two different people searching for something real in a world where value is based on likes and followers.

Our Favorite Quotes:

'If you sit in the question, the answer will find you.' - Charlie (Marry Me) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Bastian: See you tomorrow.
Kat: I’ll be the one in the veil.

Tyra: There’s a moving van on Park stuffed with wedding gifts, including a stove.
Kat: Someone got me a stove?
Tyra: It’s from a fan.
Kat: Who thinks I don’t have a stove?

Lou: [referring to school] Dad? Can I go in alone?
Charlie: Of course. I was just going to ask you the same thing. If I could walk in alone, you know, for my street cred.

Charlie: If you sit in the question, the answer will find you.

Charlie: Parker, you’re supposed to set a good example as the guidance counselor.
Parker: I am setting the best example with my look and my vibe alone.

Charlie: Love is about sacrifice and the day-to-day.

Kat: “Then on the shore of the wide world I stand alone, and think till love and fame to nothingness do sink.” It’s Keats. You think he’ll like it?
Colin: [referring to Bastian] If somebody explains it to him, yeah.

Parker: [referring to Kat’s concert] Listen, this is a once in a lifetime invitation, and you don’t even get it. This is Halley’s Comet. It’s you wearing an outfit that flatters your body. It’s very rare.
Charlie: Okay, I’ve got Lou tonight.
Parker: Good. I’ve got three tickets. Bring her. Maybe she’ll think you’re fun.

'You haven't lived unless you've failed.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet

Kat: [after she’s found about Bastian cheating on her] I’m told that twenty million people are supposed to watch me sing Marry Me to the love of my life, and then watch as we take our vows. So it’s only natural that I would want to see who I’m talking to. Only natural that I say something, if not about marriage, then about love. Because that’s what we’re all looking for, right? Love? We get so caught up in what we want our life to be that we forget what our love actually is. A lie. A fairy tale that you sold yourself so long ago that you forgot that wasn’t real. But deep down, you knew. Somehow you knew. You realize that it wasn’t love at all. You were just in love with the idea of who you wanted that person to be. But you can’t marry an idea.

Kat: They say, if you want something different, you have to do something different. So this time, for the first time, you make a different choice. You jump off a cliff so high you can’t even see the fall. And you just, say yes.
Kat: [as she sees the “Marry Me” sign Charlie is holding] Why not? Sure. I’ll marry you. You.
Lou: Dad. Dad, that’s you!

Wedding Officient: Do you, Katalina Valdez, take this guy to be your lawfully wedded husband? And I mean really take him? Think hard, girl.
Kat: I do.
Wedding Officient: And do you, some guy, take Kat to be your lawfully wedded wife? It’s on you, bro.
Charlie: Okay.
Wedding Officient: We’ll take “okay”. By the power vested in me, by the State of New York, I now declare you, husband and wife.
[Kat Kisses Charlie]

Bastian: Who the hell do you think you are, man? Some fan?
Charlie: No. I’m not a fan. Just, well, I mean, I am now.

'If you want something different, you have to do something different.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet

Charlie: That was crazy. I’m sorry. I don’t know exactly what to say, or what just happened. But I know on some level you must have really cared about that guy.
Kat: I was marrying him.
Charlie: Good point.

Charlie: He’s going to age badly.
Kat: No, he’s not.
Charlie: Yeah, you’re right. He’s probably just going to get better looking.

Kat: Why do I always pick the wrong guy? I let everyone down.
Colin: No, no. No, you didn’t.
Kat: I can’t get out of my own way.

Colin: I did a bit of digging last night, and it turns out, out of ten thousand potential dumpster fires, you picked a decent, straight, single father with no criminal record. And get this, he’s a maths teacher.
Kat: And that’s good?

Colin: I say we offer five thousand dollars, get him to sign an NDA, and let it all blow over.
Kat: Or…
Colin: Or?
Kat: Or I could stay married to him.

Kat: I started something last night, and if I don’t finish it, I’ll look crazy.
Colin: “Er”. You’ll look crazier.

'Love is about sacrifice and the day-to-day.' - Charlie (Marry Me) Click To Tweet

Kat: [referring to Bastian] Yeah, we got to get out in front of this. Now, he thinks he can publicly humiliate me? Screw him.
Colin: This is a manic response to an insane situation.
Kat: No, we have to change the narrative. Alright? I’m not marrying him forever. It’s just for a month. A few months.

Kat: I don’t want to be the punch line. We have to embrace the spontaneity of the moment, and just say, “Nothing else has worked. Maybe this will.”

Kat: You know what they say to do when your car’s skidding out of control, Colin?
Colin: Close your eyes and pray?
Kat: Hit the gas and turn into it.

Charlie: Look, I was just trying to help someone who seemed like they were in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
Colin: We’re calling it a break from tradition. A moment of clarity where she picked you out of a crowd, and you, my friend, picked her.
Charlie: I don’t even know her.

'When you get a problem wrong, you just don't give up on it. You keep trying till you get it right.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet

Colin: Kat Valdez is a legend. Self-made. She was raised by a single father, who died before she had any kind of success. Now she’s a woman north of thirty-five in a business that marginalizes women at any age. People love their artists to bare their souls, then vilify them if they go too far. Well, I’m not going to let them do that to her. And I’m asking you to help me.
Charlie: How?
Colin: Stand beside her, for three months.

Charlie: I don’t think anyone’s going to believe that she’s going to go from Bastian to me.
Parker: That’s a good point.
Colin: Well, the fact is that she did go from Bastian to you.
Parker: Counterpoint.

Colin: We’re not pretending you’re in love. We’re just going to say that you’re getting to know each other. And if it goes further, then great, and if it doesn’t…
Charlie: It won’t.
Parker: Not with that attitude.

Charlie: I don’t check my emails a lot.
Melissa: How do you schedule your life if you don’t check your email?
Charlie: Easy. I can’t do anything between 8:00 and 3:00 Monday through Friday, and I have math club after school, and three days a week, I have my kid. Beyond that, I’m pretty much available.

Charlie: I don’t feel comfortable. I really don’t feel like this is my world.
Parker: It’s natural.
Charlie: It just feels like everyone walking around is like a sycophant. Everything in her life is sponsored.
Parker: I know, but don’t ruin this for me.

Charlie: I don’t think it’s going to work out.
Colin: It’s just perspective.
Charlie: No, it’s not just perspective.
Colin: You see her as some pop star with endorsement deals, a narcissist who takes meaningless selfies. But that’s not the full…
Charlie: Well, I mean, is a selfie ever meaningful?

See more Marry Me Quotes

Charlie: I’m not a big social media person. I feel it’s kind of a distorted reality.
Parker: [sarcastically] I’m so glad I came to your TED Talk.

Kat: Just go out there and be yourself.
Charlie: Myself probably wouldn’t be here.

Reporter #1: So, you think it’s romantic marrying a complete stranger?
Kat: Impulsive, without a plan. But, hey, look where my plans got me.
Reporter #2: So, you just threw caution to the wind, and thought…
Kat: I didn’t think actually. It was a moment.
Reporter #2: You’re banking a lifetime on a moment?
Kat: No, I’m banking a moment on a moment. Get enough of those, and that’s a lifetime.

Charlie: Now we get to know each other.
Reporter #3: But not as man and wife?
Kat: No. That would be nuts.
Charlie: Just for her. For me, it would be pretty amazing.

Charlie: Last night, I held up a friend’s sign asking a woman to marry me, and she said yes, and I did. And, you know, I did it not, you know, because she was beautiful. Well, maybe a little. But it just seemed like, in the moment, the right thing to do.
Reporter #4: So, what, you just saw each other and said yes?
Kat, Charlie: Yes.

Reporter #5: This is your second marriage, right, Charlie? You wouldn’t want to fail again.
Kat: Well, you haven’t lived unless you’ve failed, Bill. You should know that from your time at CNBC.

Kat: Listen, what we did was crazy. We know that. But, you know, it was just truly a leap of faith. The rules as they exist pretty much suck for women. I mean, why do we have to wait for men to propose? Why is everything on his terms? No, I think it is time to shake things up. How about this? We pick the guy, we keep our name, and let him earn the right to stay.

Charlie: Where you off to now?
Kat: Oh, London, for a meeting.
Charlie: And I’m off to Flatbush for a dog, which pretty much sums it up.

Papparazzi: You been kicked out already?
Parker: The dog can’t s**t if people are watching. Luckily, I can only s**t if people are watching. So, if you’re feeling lucky…

Lou: [referring to Kat] Dad, she just hit eighty million followers on Instagram.
Charlie: Okay. I’m not impressed. Talk to me when she gets to ninety million, okay?

Charlie: Lou, it’s not real. It’s all a facade. You know, they had me wearing makeup.
Lou: You wear makeup now?
Charlie: Wore once. Never again.

Charlie: Kat, meet dog.
Kat: Wow, I never heard that one before.
Charlie: Sorry. That was pretty ruff.

Charlie: Is everything you do filmed?
Kat: Banked.
Charlie: Banked?
Kat: For my channel. Just little mini episodes of life.
Charlie: Can we skip an episode?

Charlie: Statistically, we’re screwed, because forty-eight percent of marriages
end in divorce, so.
Kat: That means fifty-two percent work.
Charlie: Ah, an optimist.

Kat: I believe in marriage.
Charlie: Jesus, still? Haven’t you been married like six times?
Kat: Three times. Not including this. This is four. But the first time was only forty-eight hours, so doesn’t count.

Charlie: But still, do you ever feel like just kind of, “I’m waving the white flag on marriage. That’s it.”
Kat: No, it’s like math. When you get a problem wrong, you just don’t give up on it. You keep trying till you get it right.

Kat: Nobody’s all bad, Charlie. If they were, it would make it so much easier.
Charlie: But cheating on you with your assistant is pretty bad.

Parker: There’s a picture of you buying her a pregnancy test. Charlie!
Charlie: No. No, that was a stool softener for Tank.

Charlie: [as they’re being photographed] What do I do?
Colin: Just stand and smile.

Charlie: Is it weird having everyone in the world know who you are?
Kat: No, what’s weird is that everyone in the world thinks they know who I am.

Charlie: [over phone, to Kat] Call me if you’re lonely.

Charlie: [answers call] Hello?
Kat: I’m lonely.
Charlie: It’s been like thirteen seconds.

Kat: The Mathalon?
Charlie: Yeah, the Mathalon. It’s kind of like the Grammys for math, except there’s like four people in the audience.

Charlie: [referring to her hair extensions and makeup] Listen, I’m going to say something that’s probably going to come out completely wrong, but you’re beautiful without all of that. I mean, either way, you’re good to go.
Kat: Good to go?
Charlie: Good to go.
Kat: Okay, I’ll take it.

Kat: [to Charlie] I don’t know, hanging with you guys today, it made me feel kind of normal.

Charlie: Listen, if Bastian is the guy that you think you’re supposed to be with, then, hell, I’ll drive you to the airport. But if you’re not sure, then come with me to the Fall Semi-Formal tomorrow night. Yeah, they need chaperones. Maybe you need chaperoning. Listen, I’m not saying this as your husband, or even as your friend, because technically I’m not either. But if you go back to Bastian, aren’t you just making the same mistake all over again, again?
Kat: Are you asking me to the school dance?
Charlie: Well, I could leave a note in your locker. But here we are in free period, so I figured I’d take my shot.

Charlie: When did the glee club learn Marry Me?
Jonathan Pitts: When Charlie Gilbert became Charlie Valdez.

Kat: [referring to the school dance] So, do we have a job? Do we have duties? What do we do?
Charlie: Yes, we do. We got to monitor. We got to guide. We got to encourage.
Kat: Okay.
Charlie: We might have to discourage. We might have to separate.
Kat: And maybe later, dance?
Charlie: I don’t think you want to see that.
Kat: Oh, I do. I do want to see that.

Kat: What was your old favorite song?
Charlie: I don’t know, this might be a little too edgy for you to handle. But when my mom was sick, we watched a lot of musicals, and her favorite was Camelot. You know, it was like Game of Thrones, but less nudity and murder. More music and velvet.

Charlie: [as they’re dancing] Well, I don’t want to presume that I’m about to have the best night of my life. But if I am, I don’t want to do it to Robert Goulet.
Kat: I like it.
Charlie: You do?
Kat: A lot.

Charlie: Is this smart?
Kat: I think we left smart six weeks ago.
[Charlie kisses her]

Charlie: [to Kat, the next morning after they’ve spent the night together] Thank God you’re here. Because I did have just a minute of, “Is she gone? Did she leave?” I was like, “God, just, I know you rock stars move fast, on to the next town.”

Charlie: I’m saying you have a lot of people, you know, kind of handling things.
Kat: There’s nothing wrong with having help. I mean, it doesn’t mean I’m helpless. It just means that I have a lot of things on my plate.
Charlie: I know. But you might not need as many people helping you as you think you do.
Kat: So, what are you saying? You want me to try being alone? Because I could go be alone right now.
Charlie: No, no. Let’s be clear. “Alone” means without help, not alone without me.

Kat: [after she checked out Charlie’s Instagram] Sorry, I was checking out this guy on Instagram.
Charlie: Oh. Should I be jealous? He sounds very interesting and handsome.
Kat: Just posting about all this math stuff.
Charlie: Oh, one of those.
Kat: Brought you an apple.

Kat: Make a wish.
Charlie: I already got it.

Lou: [after Kat joins Bastain for the award show] You’re afraid she’ll fall back in love with Bastian and dump you?
Charlie: No.
Lou: Yeah. I’d be afraid of that too.

Charlie: Social media is exploding. They’re even saying you guys are back together.
Kat: Well, if social media says it’s true, it must be true.

Charlie: [referring to Bastian’s song] What is that? Second chances?
Kat: It’s just a song.
Charlie: Maybe. Maybe it’s something more.
Kat: What’s going on?
Charlie: Look, I know this is a big deal, and that’s why I wanted to come down here. But I don’t fit. And I think that’s objectively pretty true.

Colin: I was rooting for you. I wanted it to work. The whole world wanted it to.
Charlie: I’m sorry to disappoint you, and the world.
Colin: You’re disappointing yourself.
Charlie: I’m protecting myself. I can’t get away from her. There’s always a poster, a Vitamix, or a billboard.

Colin: [referring to Kat and Bastian] You know they’re not together?
Charlie: Maybe not. But, Colin, can you do me a favor? Will you be there for her when she figures it all out? She’s going to need someone.

Parker: Are you at some point going to be fun again?
Charlie: I was never fun.
Parker: That’s true, and I love you anyway.

Kat: [whilst on the Jimmy Fallon Show] I didn’t write “On My Way” for Bastian. I’m sorry, Jimmy. I know it’s an inopportune time to have an epiphany, but I don’t want to go back. Someone told me that if you sit in the question long enough, the answer finds you. And the answer is, I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes over and over. I want something different.

Parker: I got to ask you, Kat, are you… Is this for real?
Kat: Well, I walked out on Fallon to freeze my toes off in Peoria, so.
Parker: Excellent point.

Parker: This woman, this superstar, this icon, has flown in coach in stilettos to win back the unlikely love of her life, who, against all odds, she loves. And he loves her.
Kat: He does, right?
Parker: Completely. The next thing you say will forecast not just their future, but the future of anyone who ever believed in the magic of a leap of faith.
Bus Driver: Look…
Parker: She’ll give you a thousand dollars.

Lou: [referring to the Mathalon] Dad, I lost again.
Charlie: No, it doesn’t matter. First of all, you got it right. It was perfect. But second of all, you were just up there. You stood up there, and you were so brave. I’m the one who should be crying for the dancing I was doing.

Kat: You took a shot even though it was scary. That’s what matters. Not everything adds up the way you think it will. You know, they say if you want something different, you have to do something different.
Charlie: What if we’re just too different?
Kat: What if we’re not?

Charlie: [after Kat’s asked him to marry him again and they’ve kissed] Here we go.

Man: [mid-credits lines] We met at a party as she was leaving.
Woman: And had I walked out ten seconds earlier, we never would’ve met.
Man: And I bet you wish that was the case sometimes.
Woman: Never.

Older Man: Eighty-one years ago, we were born in the same hospital two days apart, in diapers. Here it is eighty-one years later, and we’re back in diapers again.

Kat, Charlie: We met at a concert.

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