Copyright Notice: It’s easy to see when our selected quotes have been copied and pasted, as you’re also copying our format, mistakes, and movie scene descriptions. If you decide to copy from us please be kind and either link back, or refer back to our site. Please check out our copyright policies here. Thanks!
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Sarah Silverman, John Bradley, Michelle Buteau, Chloe Coleman, Maluma
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Romantic comedy directed by Kat Coiro. Marry Me (2022) follows pop superstar Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez), who is set to marry her rock-star fiancé Bastian (Maluma) before an audience of their fans. But just before the ceremony Kat finds out that Bastian has cheated on her with her assistant. So, in a moment of inspired insanity, Kat locks eyes with a stranger in the crowd and chooses to marry divorced high-school math teacher Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson), who has been dragged to the ceremony by his daughter, Lou (Chloe Coleman), and his best friend, Parker Debbs (Sarah Silverman). What begins as an impulsive reaction evolves into an unexpected romance between two different people searching for something real in a world where value is based on likes and followers.
Our Favorite Quotes:'If you sit in the question, the answer will find you.' - Charlie (Marry Me) Click To Tweet
Bastian: See you tomorrow.
Kat: I’ll be the one in the veil.
Tyra: There’s a moving van on Park stuffed with wedding gifts, including a stove.
Kat: Someone got me a stove?
Tyra: It’s from a fan.
Kat: Who thinks I don’t have a stove?
Lou: [referring to school] Dad? Can I go in alone?
Charlie: Of course. I was just going to ask you the same thing. If I could walk in alone, you know, for my street cred.
Charlie: If you sit in the question, the answer will find you.
Charlie: Parker, you’re supposed to set a good example as the guidance counselor.
Parker: I am setting the best example with my look and my vibe alone.
Charlie: Love is about sacrifice and the day-to-day.
Kat: “Then on the shore of the wide world I stand alone, and think till love and fame to nothingness do sink.” It’s Keats. You think he’ll like it?
Colin: [referring to Bastian] If somebody explains it to him, yeah.
Parker: [referring to Kat’s concert] Listen, this is a once in a lifetime invitation, and you don’t even get it. This is Halley’s Comet. It’s you wearing an outfit that flatters your body. It’s very rare.
Charlie: Okay, I’ve got Lou tonight.
Parker: Good. I’ve got three tickets. Bring her. Maybe she’ll think you’re fun.
'You haven't lived unless you've failed.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet
Kat: [after she’s found about Bastian cheating on her] I’m told that twenty million people are supposed to watch me sing Marry Me to the love of my life, and then watch as we take our vows. So it’s only natural that I would want to see who I’m talking to. Only natural that I say something, if not about marriage, then about love. Because that’s what we’re all looking for, right? Love? We get so caught up in what we want our life to be that we forget what our love actually is. A lie. A fairy tale that you sold yourself so long ago that you forgot that wasn’t real. But deep down, you knew. Somehow you knew. You realize that it wasn’t love at all. You were just in love with the idea of who you wanted that person to be. But you can’t marry an idea.
Kat: They say, if you want something different, you have to do something different. So this time, for the first time, you make a different choice. You jump off a cliff so high you can’t even see the fall. And you just, say yes.
Kat: [as she sees the “Marry Me” sign Charlie is holding] Why not? Sure. I’ll marry you. You.
Lou: Dad. Dad, that’s you!
Wedding Officient: Do you, Katalina Valdez, take this guy to be your lawfully wedded husband? And I mean really take him? Think hard, girl.
Kat: I do.
Wedding Officient: And do you, some guy, take Kat to be your lawfully wedded wife? It’s on you, bro.
Wedding Officient: We’ll take “okay”. By the power vested in me, by the State of New York, I now declare you, husband and wife.
[Kat Kisses Charlie]
Bastian: Who the hell do you think you are, man? Some fan?
Charlie: No. I’m not a fan. Just, well, I mean, I am now.
'If you want something different, you have to do something different.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet
Charlie: That was crazy. I’m sorry. I don’t know exactly what to say, or what just happened. But I know on some level you must have really cared about that guy.
Kat: I was marrying him.
Charlie: Good point.
Charlie: He’s going to age badly.
Kat: No, he’s not.
Charlie: Yeah, you’re right. He’s probably just going to get better looking.
Kat: Why do I always pick the wrong guy? I let everyone down.
Colin: No, no. No, you didn’t.
Kat: I can’t get out of my own way.
Colin: I did a bit of digging last night, and it turns out, out of ten thousand potential dumpster fires, you picked a decent, straight, single father with no criminal record. And get this, he’s a maths teacher.
Kat: And that’s good?
Colin: I say we offer five thousand dollars, get him to sign an NDA, and let it all blow over.
Kat: Or I could stay married to him.
Kat: I started something last night, and if I don’t finish it, I’ll look crazy.
Colin: “Er”. You’ll look crazier.
'Love is about sacrifice and the day-to-day.' - Charlie (Marry Me) Click To Tweet
Kat: [referring to Bastian] Yeah, we got to get out in front of this. Now, he thinks he can publicly humiliate me? Screw him.
Colin: This is a manic response to an insane situation.
Kat: No, we have to change the narrative. Alright? I’m not marrying him forever. It’s just for a month. A few months.
Kat: I don’t want to be the punch line. We have to embrace the spontaneity of the moment, and just say, “Nothing else has worked. Maybe this will.”
Kat: You know what they say to do when your car’s skidding out of control, Colin?
Colin: Close your eyes and pray?
Kat: Hit the gas and turn into it.
Charlie: Look, I was just trying to help someone who seemed like they were in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
Colin: We’re calling it a break from tradition. A moment of clarity where she picked you out of a crowd, and you, my friend, picked her.
Charlie: I don’t even know her.
'When you get a problem wrong, you just don't give up on it. You keep trying till you get it right.' - Kat (Marry Me) Click To Tweet
Colin: Kat Valdez is a legend. Self-made. She was raised by a single father, who died before she had any kind of success. Now she’s a woman north of thirty-five in a business that marginalizes women at any age. People love their artists to bare their souls, then vilify them if they go too far. Well, I’m not going to let them do that to her. And I’m asking you to help me.
Colin: Stand beside her, for three months.
Charlie: I don’t think anyone’s going to believe that she’s going to go from Bastian to me.
Parker: That’s a good point.
Colin: Well, the fact is that she did go from Bastian to you.
Colin: We’re not pretending you’re in love. We’re just going to say that you’re getting to know each other. And if it goes further, then great, and if it doesn’t…
Charlie: It won’t.
Parker: Not with that attitude.
Charlie: I don’t check my emails a lot.
Melissa: How do you schedule your life if you don’t check your email?
Charlie: Easy. I can’t do anything between 8:00 and 3:00 Monday through Friday, and I have math club after school, and three days a week, I have my kid. Beyond that, I’m pretty much available.
Charlie: I don’t feel comfortable. I really don’t feel like this is my world.
Parker: It’s natural.
Charlie: It just feels like everyone walking around is like a sycophant. Everything in her life is sponsored.
Parker: I know, but don’t ruin this for me.
Charlie: I don’t think it’s going to work out.
Colin: It’s just perspective.
Charlie: No, it’s not just perspective.
Colin: You see her as some pop star with endorsement deals, a narcissist who takes meaningless selfies. But that’s not the full…
Charlie: Well, I mean, is a selfie ever meaningful?