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Starring: Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch, Alisha Weir, Andrea Riseborough, Stephen Graham, Sindhu Vee
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Netflix musical fantasy comedy directed by Matthew Warchus. Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical (2022) centers on Matilda Wormwood (Alisha Weir), a girl with big curiosity, a sharp mind, and a vivid imagination, and the worst parents (Andrea Riseborough and Stephen Graham) in the world, who attends a school run by an abusive headmistress, Miss Trunchbull (Emma Thompson). With her kind teacher, Miss Honey (Lashana Lynch), revolting classmates, and her huge imagination, she tries to change her destiny.
Our Favorite Quotes:'You mustn't let a little thing Like “little” stop you.' - Matilda Wormwood Click To Tweet
Mrs. Wormwood: A baby? I’m not having a baby. What on earth gives you that idea? I’m not listening to this. This is quackery.
Doctor: But you’re about to give birth.
Mrs. Wormwood: I’m having a stinking baby!
Doctor: A girl.
Mr. Wormwood: What? You mean my son is a girl?
Doctor: I mean that your daughter is a girl.
Mr. Wormwood: Yeah, but the balloons, Doctor. I mean, the balloons, they say “boy”.
Mr. and Mrs. Wormwood: [singing] Why do bad things Always happen to good people.
Matilda Wormwood: [singing] My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole, no one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me. Mum says I’m a good case for population control. Dad says I should watch more TV.
Mrs. Wormwood: We forgot to send it to school!
Mr. Wormwood: He goes to school all the time, don’t you, boy?
Matilda Wormwood: I’m a girl. And, no, I don’t. I’ve never been to school.
Mr. Wormwood: Where didyou get all the books from?
Matilda Wormwood: From the library.
Mr. Wormwood: What, they’re doing books now?
Mr. Wormwood: We’re trapped in the chains of debt. And you, you expect me to escape like I’m some kind of flaming escapologist!
Mrs. Wormwood: Escapologist, is it? Well, I have a whole house to run. Dinners don’t microwave themselves, you know.
''A lie cannot live.' - Matilda Wormwood Click To Tweet
Mrs. Wormwood: The school inspector’s here. He’s in the dining room with some floozy. What are we going to do?
Matilda Wormwood: Well, Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “A lie cannot live.”
Mr. Wormwood: Yeah. Yeah, we’ll lie our way out of it. Like what that doctor said.
Matilda Wormwood: Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was trapped.
Matilda Wormwood: [singing] Just because you find that life’s not fair, it doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, you might as well be saying you think that it’s okay. And that’s not right. And if it’s not right, you have to put it right. But nobody else is going to put it right for me. Nobody but me is going to change my story. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.
Acrobat: It is our destiny. It is where the loneliness of life has led us.
Mrs. Phelps: Well, have a great day at school. And be careful in there.
Matilda Wormwood: Oh, I’m not worried. If people do scary things to you, you can just do scary things back.
Mrs. Phelps: But Matilda, remember, two wrongs don’t make a right.
Matilda Wormwood: Unless they do. In which case you’ve just made a right out of two wrongs. Which has got to be good.
'Time is the one thing no one is master of.' - Matilda Wormwood Click To Tweet
Matilda Wormwood: So we’re going to start learning?
Prefect: Oh, you’ll start learning, alright.
Lavender: Great, I already know the alphabet.
Prefect: You don’t know the alphabet until we learn you the alphabet.
Miss Honey: Is maths your favorite thing?
Matilda Wormwood: It’s okay. What I really like is reading. It’s like a holiday in your head.
Miss Honey: And do you do that a lot? Get away from everything? In books, I mean.
Matilda Wormwood: Oh, yeah. I’ve read loads this week.
Miss Honey: Loads. In one week? So, which books did you read this week?
Matilda Wormwood: Nicholas Nickleby. Jane Eyre. Tess of the d’Urbervilles. Of Mice and Men. The Lord of the Rings. Moby Dick. Crime and Punishment. And The Cat in the Hat.
Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda Wormwood, daughter of Mr. Harry Wormwood. Excellent man. He warned me about the brat though. Said she’s a real wart.
Agatha Trunchbull: What is the school motto, Miss Honey?
Miss Honey: Bambinatum est Maggitum.
Agatha Trunchbull: Bambinatum est Maggitum. “Children are maggots.”
'Two wrongs don't make a right.' - Mrs. Phelps, 'Unless they do. In which case you've just made a right out of two wrongs. Which has got to be good.' - Matilda Wormwood Click To Tweet
Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull, it is my belief that Matilda Wormwood is a genius.
Agatha Trunchbull: What? No. No. Haven’t I just told you? She is a gangster.
Miss Honey: I believe that Matilda Wormwood is an exception to the rules.
Agatha Trunchbull: An exception? To the rules? In my school?
Matilda Wormwood: Do you want to hear about my first day at school?
Mrs. Wormwood: Yuck. I’d rather eat vegetables.
Mr. Wormwood: It’s official, I’m a genius! My losing streak is over. This fella comes into the lot. Huge he was. Great big bear of a man. And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.
Mrs. Wormwood: Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?
Matilda Wormwood: Do you have a luxury car?
Mr. Wormwood: I’ve got two, boy.
Matilda Wormwood: I’m a girl.
Mr. Wormwood: One with a smashed-in front, and one with a smashed-in back. All I got to do is cut them in half, glue them together and Bob’s your chipmunk. Daddy’s back.
'The best way to deal with bullies is tell someone. Straight away. They thrive on silence.' - Mrs. Phelps (Matilda the Musical) Click To Tweet
Mr. Wormwood: [as he reads the title of the book] The Grapes of… Idiot! How can grapes be angry? Hey? What utter junk!
Matilda Wormwood: It’s not about grapes.
Mrs. Wormwood: Back-yakking! The little madam!
Matilda Wormwood: I’m not back-yakking!
Mr. Wormwood: Don’t you back-yak me!
Eric: [to Matilda] Can you do telekenipsis? It’s where you have loads of brains. They squish out through your eyes, and you can move things with your mind.
Bruce Bogtrotter: It’s not good to try to be clever. Not here. The Trunchbull hates kids being smart. She hates it.
Matilda Wormwood: Isn’t learning what school’s for?
Bruce Bogtrotter: This isn’t a school. It’s a prison.
Bruce Bogtrotter: You don’t want to get noticed. Not by Agatha. They say she turned one kid inside out. He had to walk around in cling film to keep his organs in.
Matilda Wormwood: That didn’t really happen, Bruce.
Amanda Thripp: But she definitely sat on a year seven until he was jelly.
Lavender: She caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a licorice allsort in class. She picked him up, swung him around, and chucked him out of the window.
'It is not our job to make things fun. We are not here to encourage or nurture. We are here to crush them until the wriggling stops.' - Agatha Trunchbull (Matilda the Musical) Click To Tweet
Nigel: Hide me! Someone poured a can of treacle on The Trunchbull’s chair. She thinks I did, but I never! Her knickers stuck to the seat.
Agatha Trunchbull: What a repellent parade of imps and hobgoblins, chitter-chattering away.
Agatha Trunchbull: What have I said about pigtails? I hate pigtails.
Amanda Thripp: But my mummy likes them. She says they make me look pretty.
Agatha Trunchbull: Well, your mother is a twit!
'I just taught them with kindness, and patience, and respect.' - Miss Honey, 'How dare you bring those words into my classroom!' - Agatha Trunchbull (Matilda the Musical) Click To Tweet
Agatha Trunchbull: [as she tosses Amanda aside using her pigtails] Yes! Still got it. Check and see if that child is still alive, will you?
Agatha Trunchbull: I like troublemakers, Wormwood. They make such a lovely sound when they snap.
Agatha Trunchbull: [over PA] Remember, Wormwood, you can never win. I promise you that. And a promise is a promise is a promise.
'You were just there for me, quietly taking a stand, changing the end of my story for me, you were still holding my hand.' - Matilda, Miss Honey (Matilda the Musical) Click To Tweet
Mrs. Phelps: I love stories that end happily.
Miss Honey: Matilda. I believe your mind is extraordinary.
Miss Honey: [as Matilda hugs her] That is the biggest hug in the world. You’re going to hug all the air out of me.
Agatha Trunchbull: I believe I said this maggot was to receive no special treatment. In fact, I seem to recall informing you that this particular snot-ball was evil incarnate, did I not?
Miss Honey: No, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is not…
Agatha Trunchbull: Did you just say “no”, Jenny? To me?
Bruce Bogtrotter: But I can’t eat it all.
Miss Honey: Headmistress, he’ll be sick.
Agatha Trunchbull: He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake.
Matilda Wormwood: You can’t just change the rules. That’s not right. It’s cheating!
Agatha Trunchbull: You just said “no” to me.
Agatha Trunchbull: [over PA] You see, children, I will always win. And you will always lose. Because you are weak, tiny, titchy, and insignificant.
Matilda Wormwood: Mrs. Phelps! Where’s the revenge section?
Mrs. Phelps: Well, we don’t have a revenge section. Is it a bully? Because you know the best way to deal with bullies is tell someone. Straight away. They thrive on silence.
Matilda Wormwood: And so the poor little girl grew up with the meanest, cruelest, horriblest aunt you could possibly imagine!
Mrs. Phelps: Let’s call the police!
Matilda Wormwood: Mrs. Phelps. It’s just a story.
Mrs. Phelps: What? Oh. Yes, of course. A story. It’s just, you make it so real.
Mrs. Wormwood: It’s just like winning the lottery!
Matilda Wormwood: What? Me?
Mrs. Wormwood: You? No, you’re like eating someone else’s bogeys.
Mr. Wormwood: Like winning a snottery, you, boy.
Matilda Wormwood: I’m a girl.
Matilda Wormwood: Lavender, what is going on?
Lavender: You, you’re a hero.
Matilda Wormwood: A hero?
Lavender: Yes. You’re leading a revolution.
Matilda Wormwood: What revolution?
Lavender: You said “no” to The Trunchbull. See, no one’s done that before.
Agatha Trunchbull: It is not our job to make things fun. We are not here to encourage or nurture. We are here to crush them until the wriggling stops.
Agatha Trunchbull: This class is full of rebels, and they need a real lesson.
Agatha Trunchbull: You see, Jenny, to teach the child, we must first break the child.
Miss Honey: This isn’t teaching! This is cruelty.
Agatha Trunchbull: Cruelty? Well, yes. Of course. You did say it was going to be fun.
Agatha Trunchbull: Miss Honey, you are pathetic! You are weak. You are wet. You are, in fact, a sniveling little newt.
Agatha Trunchbull: I have discovered, Miss Honey, through years of experimentation, that the ears of small boys do not come off! They stretch.
Agatha Trunchbull: [to Matilda] You are not fit to be in this school. You are evil. I shall crush you. I shall pound you. I shall dissect you, madam.
Agatha Trunchbull: It’s in my knickers! I’ve got a newt in my knickers!
Miss Honey: Okay. That was odd.
Miss Honey: I’m no expert, because I’m not sure there are experts in fizzing, but I think it has something to do with that incredible mind of yours.
Matilda Wormwood: You mean, there’s no room in my head for all my brains? So they have to squish out through my eyes?
Miss Honey: Well, yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.
Matilda Wormwood: So they were your parents.
Miss Honey: What? Who?
Matilda Wormwood: The people in my story. I thought I was making it up, but it’s real! It’s you. It’s your life!
Miss Honey: [after discovering Trunchbull is Miss Honey’s step-aunt] Miss Trunchbull has been humiliated, and she is capable of awful things.
Matilda Wormwood: I’m not scared of her.
Miss Honey: You should be. She’s dangerous.
Matilda Wormwood: So am I.
Agatha Trunchbull: Children, how can I be your headmistress if I cannot chill you to the bone? If the small ones don’t pee just a little when I walk into the room, well then I’m failing as an educator.
Miss Honey: I just taught them with kindness, and patience, and respect.
Agatha Trunchbull: How dare you bring those words into my classroom!
Agatha Trunchbull: [to Lavender] You. Snot-nose. Stand and spell “amchellakamanialseptricolistimosis”.
Miss Honey: But that’s not even a word.
Agatha Trunchbull: Spell it or go to Chokey. And I should warn you, it has silent letters
Miss Honey: [to Trunchbull] It’s over. This is my school now. Run.
Bruce Bogtrotter: [singing] Never again will she get the best of me. Never again will she take away my freedom. And we won’t forget the day we fought for the right to be a little bit naughty.
Mr. Wormwood: You want us to leave our daughter here with you?
Matilda Wormwood: What did you just call me?
Mrs. Wormwood: We are going to miss the plane!
Matilda Wormwood: Did you just call me your daughter?
Miss Honey: If that’s what she wants.
Mr. Wormwood: Well? Is that what you want? You want to stay here with Miss Honey?
Matilda Wormwood: Yes. Yes, I do.
Matilda, Miss Honey: [singing] I was sure that I would just have to learn to survive. Would always be all by myself. All by myself. And one day I opened my eyes, and looked up to find that the sky had turned blindingly blue. And right by my side there was you, quietly taking a stand, and you were holding my hand.
Matilda, Miss Honey: [singing] You were just there for me, quietly taking a stand, changing the end of my story for me, you were still holding my hand.