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Starring: Kevin Hart, Mark Wahlberg, Regina Hall, Jimmy O. Yang, Luis Gerardo Méndez
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Netflix comedy written and directed by John Hamburg. Me Time (2022) follows Sonny (Kevin Hart), a stay-at-home dad, who after finding himself with some “me time” for the first time in years while his wife, Maya (Regina Hall), and kids are away, he reconnects with his former best friend, Huck (Mark Wahlberg), for a wild weekend that nearly upends his life.
Sonny Fisher: [as the helicopter winds blows Sonny off the cliff] I’m scared, man!
Huck Dembo: Open your arms, like a starfish!
Sonny Fisher: Starfish can’t fly! Huck, starfish are stupid!
Huck Dembo: Sonny, that was incredible.
Sonny Fisher: Incredible, my a**! I’m never letting you talk me into this stupid s**t again.
Dashiell Fisher: Dad, what’s a donkey show?
Sonny Fisher: Nothing you need to know.
Huck Dembo: We found a donkey on the side of the road. Hand to God, biggest P-E-N-I-S I have ever seen.
Ava Fisher: What did he spell?
Dashiell Fisher: It’s not a swear word.
Huck Dembo: Dash is right. It’s not a swear word. It’s a body part.
Sonny Fisher: I know exactly what it is, Huck. I got one.
Ava Fisher: Do I have one?
Sonny Fisher: No, you don’t. In life, if you chose at some point you wanted one, you could get it. It’s complicated.
Dashiell Fisher: Oh, Dad, Asher Geller’s dad got a minivan with automatic doors. It’s sick.
Sonny Fisher: Son, listen to me. Opening up the door with your hands builds character. Lesson of the day.
Sonny Fisher: It’s not about being good. It’s about being great. It’s a little life lesson. It’s called double G.
Ibrahim Taha: And what is it that you do, Sonny?
Sonny Fisher: Well, I am a…
Armando Zavala: He’s a housewife. English is not my first language, so I don’t know the terminology, but he stays at home.
Sonny Fisher: I’m trying to get in on a conversation, Maya. I mean, you got me at the table with a bunch of world leaders. What am I supposed to talk about, my kindergarten blog? Tell me what I’m supposed to say to the condom man who’s handing out rubbers in India?
Maya Fisher: I mean, come on, you guys were so close. And you know you used to have the best time together.
Sonny Fisher: Yes, Maya, we did. And then I grew up. That’s what happens in life. I got married. I had kids. I’m sorry that I don’t want to spend a weekend with Huck celebrating his forty-fourth birthday with a bunch of twenty-two year-olds.
Alan Geller: Sonny, what is there to think about? A week without their family is literally every man’s dream.
Jill: And now I only get one day a month to stack up all my Tinder dates.
Alan Geller: And how’s that going?
Jill: I mean, I’m f***ing. But, you know, I don’t have time to develop anything meaningful. You know?
Alan Geller: Right. Yeah, no connection. Just getting smashed to pieces.
Bethany: There’s nothing wrong with being a devoted parent.
Jill: Bethany, come on, you’re basically your children’s butler.
Bethany: Diane and I have our routine dialed in. I’m the caregiver, and she’s the breadwinner. We both know our roles, so there’s zero conflict.
Sonny Fisher: It’s called a system, which works, guys. Right?
Alan Geller: A prison system, that’s what it sounds like.
Alan Geller: You’re relegated to jerking off in a watery prison because your family is always home. The freedom, Sonny, to have yourself in any room in your house, that’s why we fight wars.
Sonny Fisher: We are friends, dude.
Alan Geller: We’re parent friends.
Sonny Fisher: Alan, I’ve known you for seven years.
Alan Geller: You’re saved in my phone as “Dash’s Dad”.
Sonny Fisher: What do you mean?
Alan Geller: I didn’t know your name was Sonny for like three years.
'Opening up the door with your hands builds character.' - Sonny Fisher (Me Time) Click To Tweet
Sonny Fisher: You got me pumped up!
Alan Geller: Let’s go!
Sonny Fisher: I get some me time.
Alan Geller: You time.
Sonny Fisher: It’s about me time!
Alan Geller: Me time!
Sonny Fisher: Kids, tell your mother that you going to be okay without me for a few days.
Dashiell Fisher: Well, honestly, I have concerns. I’m sorry, Mom, but Dad’s the glue.
Maya Fisher: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say no.
Sonny Fisher: What do you mean? I say no all the time. I’m the definition of the law around here.
Maya Fisher: Murphy’s Law, maybe.
Sonny Fisher: I done had brisket, ribs, pork. I don’t even know what this thing was. Hopefully, it was an animal. It may not be. They could’ve put human butt in here. I wouldn’t know the difference.
Huck Dembo: I believe that matching outfits are one of the keys to any successful soiree.
Huck Dembo: Welcome to Huckchella. It’s our own Burning Man. I designed it myself. The effigy is me.
Sonny Fisher: What the f*** is this?
'I have to embrace myself, and the people I love for who they are.' - Sonny Fisher (Me Time) Click To Tweet
Sonny Fisher: Where the porta-potties at?
Huck Dembo: Oh, right there.
Sonny Fisher: That’s a bucket.
Huck Dembo: They’re Luggable Loos. They work great.
Sonny Fisher: They’re luggable what?
Huck Dembo: A Luggable Loo. Dude, you just grab it, pump, dump. You just discard it on the side of the road, whatever you want to do.
Huck Dembo: [to Sonny] You know what? She might be the Big Cat, but I’m looking at the Big Dog. This is the Big Dog. You are the Big Dog.
Sonny Fisher: [to Maya, referring to Armando] Last suggestion I remember was you telling me that you wanted to go out there to spend time with the kids. Well, now I find out that you’re island hopping with old Don Dental going all over the place.
Stan Berman: But, Huck, would you really feel the pressure to pay me back without some physical violence?
Huck Dembo: I wouldn’t with the same immediacy.
Stan Berman: Exactly. That’s my point.
Stan Berman: [referring to Sonny’s little finger] Oh, my God! That is disgusting. It looks like a hot Cheeto! I am so sorry, Sonny. But, look, we got a finger, right? We’re good.
Huck Dembo: I tried to start my own firm, but I couldn’t even get past Quick Books.
Sonny Fisher: [to Huck] You would call me at eleven o’clock at night to go out. I’m in bed by nine. And not to mention, if I do go out, what am I going to talk about with a beekeeper? That’s not my world. I build Legos. I wipe a**.
Huck Dembo: I’m just on more of a Clooney plan.
Sonny Fisher: What does that mean?
Huck Dembo: George Timothy Clooney? The world’s most eligible bachelor? The guy rode singledom into his fifties. Then he married Amal, and had the twins, became a family man without ever missing a beat. The Clooney plan.
Huck Dembo: Let’s bag these up and get the hell out of here. No way I’m leaving four grand of shellfish behind.
Sonny Fisher: You spent four grand on shellfish?!
'This guy has had a tough few weeks. The man spent spring break by himself, ended up blowing our life savings, almost killing a tortoise, and destroying his marriage. Way to make the most of your “me time”, Pops.' - Dashiell Fisher Click To Tweet
Huck Dembo: [to Sonny, referring to Armando] He’s going after your family. You got to go after his. Does he have a wife? A girlfriend?
Thelma: I’d be down. I mean, what?
Huck Dembo: I’d hate to be a home-wrecker, but I’ll do it for you. You give me a week, I’ll seduce her.
Huck Dembo: Bro, I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in my time, but there’s no way I’m f***ing a tortoise.
Thelma: You just said you’d f*** a tortoise?
Sonny Fisher: [referring to Armando] No, I’m not asking you to do that, Huck. The guy refers to these things as his family. Right? So what I’m thinking, I’m thinking we grab it, set it free.