Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson, Liam Neeson, Kumail Nanjiani, Rafe Spall, Rebecca Ferguson, Emma Thompson
OUR RATING: ★★½
Sci-fi action comedy spinoff directed by F. Gary Gray. Men in Black International follows the London based team of Men in Black. Agent H (Chris Hemsworth ) and Agent M (Tessa Thompson) become involved in a murder mystery that sends them traveling the globe.
Our Favorite Quotes:
Agent High T: [as they are about to face off with some aliens]Right. Shall we?
Agent H: Let’s do this.
Agent High T: Always remember, the universe has a way of leading you to where you’re supposed to be at the moment you’re supposed to be there.
Agent H: Yeah, well, sometimes the universe gets it wrong.
MIB Agent: [to O, as they are about to neuralyze her] She had an experience.
Agent M: It erased my parent’s memories but it didn’t take mine. My whole life, everyone’s called me crazy. They said that I needed therapy. Which, okay, admittedly, I did. But not for this.
Agent M: It took me twenty years to find you. Plus or minus. How many people can say that? I found you.
Agent O: [enters the room] So, you found us. You’ve proved you’re not crazy. You win the I’m Not Crazy badge. Now, what?
Agent M: I want in.
Agent O: We don’t hire, we recruit.
Agent M: Then I’d like to be recruited.
Agent O: I’m going to need more, but would you mind giving me one good reason?
Agent M: Because I’m smart. I’m motivated. I look good in black. I’m…
Agent O: Boring me.
Agent M: Because I have absolutely no life whatsoever. I have nothing. I have no dog, no cat. Definitely no chil. I have nothing that I couldn’t happily walk away from, which makes me perfect for this job.
Agent O: Well, you’re certainly suitably tragic. No love? No relationships?
Agent M: They just distract you from what’s important.
Agent O: Hm, really? And what’s important?
Agent M: The truth of the universe. I want to know everything. I want to know how it all works.
Agent O: You really think a black suit is going to solve all your problems?
Agent M: Mmm, no. But it looks damn good on you.
Agent O: That’s true.
Agent O: [after accepting M into MIB on a probationary agent status] From this moment, you will conform to the identity we give you. You will dress only in MIB Special Services attire. You have been trained in the use of MIB sanctioned technology, vehicles, and weaponry. You will not stand out in any way. You are no longer part of the system. You do not exist.
Agent O: We are above the system. Over it, beyond it. We are them, we are they. We are the Men in Black.
Agent M: The Men in Black?
Agent O: Don’t. Don’t start. I’ve had the conversation. And they don’t seem to be able to let it go. It’s a process. Attachment issue, I think.
Agent O: You’re a fan of the truth, aren’t you, Agent M?
Agent M: I like it.
Agent O: Mmm. I think we may have a problem in London.
Agent High T: So you’re the one who found us.
Agent M: Yes. I am.
Agent High T: I’m T. High T.
Agent M: Oh, yeah. You’re…
Agent High T: I run this little circus.
Agent M: Yeah.
Agent High T: Welcome, M.
Agent M: It’s nice to meet you, sir.
Agent High T: O told me to expect some great things.
Agent M: And great things shall you get.
Agent H: [after M wakes H from his nap] No. I’m awake. It’s alright, just catching up on my daily meditation.
Agent M: I have been meaning to try that. I’ve read that it dramatically improves mitochondrial energy production.
Agent H: Yep, yep. No, it absolutely does. My mitochondrial energy’s through the roof. Have we met before?
Agent M: No. Agent M.
Agent M: Hey, if you want to use me as alien bait, just let me know next time, okay? I don’t like to be lied to.
Agent H: Oh, really? What, like pretending to be an expert on something you’re not? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in the lying business.
Agent M: Are we?
Agent M: [after their night out with Vungus] Shouldn’t we call it in?
Agent H: God, no! The paperwork is a nightmare.
Agent M: Yeah, but Vungus didn’t look too good. I mean, he didn’t look too good before, but…
Agent H: No, trust me, I’ve seen him way worse.
Agent H: We need more firepower! Side view mirror!
Agent M: What do you want me to do? Throw it at them?
[as she pulls the mirror, and it pulls out an array of weapons]
Agent M: Oh, wow.
Agent M: Vungus. How many people really knew that he was here?
Agent High T: The people in this room. And perhaps a dozen high level agents.
Agent M: If those were the only people that knew where Vungus would be, and we assume that Vungus didn’t leak his own location to the killers. Doesn’t that mean that it was someone inside MIB?
Agent H: A mole, sir, inside these very walls.
Agent C: Sir, they’re obviously making this up as they go along. What are you talking about, a mole? In the whole history of the company, there’s not been so much as a leak. A mole.
Agent H: Sounds like something a mole would say.
Agent C: Don’t be absurd.
Agent H: Classic mole talk.
Agent M: Sounds like Mole one-O-one.
Agent High T: Enough. If we’ve been compromised, it puts every citizen on this planet, both human and alien, at risk.
Agent H: Let’s go. You coming? World’s not going to save itself.
Agent M: Are you saying that you need me to save the world?
Agent H: Uh-huh.
Agent M: Thought so.
Agent H: Hey, look at you. What do they call you, sport?
Pawny: Sport is not what you call me.
Agent M: What is it?
Pawny: It? He.
Agent M: Sorry.
Pawny: Why would you call me anything? Pawns don’t have names. We’re pawns.
Agent M: Okay. Pawny, then.
Agent M: What happened here?
Pawny: Oh, we had the best party. Kanye showed up and dropped like a whole new album. And it was some of his best work. Look around. We got our a**es kicked!
Pawny: [as his queen dies] I’ll never serve another, I swear it. I’ll plunge my dagger into my own body, like this. Through all my vital organs, and then leave it until the dark takes me.
Agent M: Hey, you’re not actually going to go through with this, are you?
Pawny: Listen, a queen’s pawn without a queen is just a pawn. A nothing. I must end my own life in the most painful way possible. Don’t stop me. Chance of survival, zero.
Agent M: [to H] Do you think we should stop him?
Pawny: Going to do it.
Agent H: [whispers to M] I kind of want to see if he goes through with it.
Pawny: Sorry. What did you say?
Agent H: Hm? Nothing at all.
Agent M: [as Pawny is about to kill himself] No, you know what, I did say something.
Agent H: You did?
Agent M: Yeah. He’s a witness. Excuse me. You know, I don’t think that she would want you to, you know, go through with it, honestly.
Pawny: Who are you to know what a queen would or wouldn’t want? Are you a queen?
Agent M: Well, I mean, to the extent that all women are, yes. But, no. No. I’m not a queen.
Agent H: You know what she is though, is an agent.
Agent H: Mm-hmm.
Pawny: Is that a title?
Agent H: It is a title. A title of great eminence and stature.
Agent H: M here is an agent. An agent without a pawn, if you see my meaning.
Pawny: I never thought of this. But maybe the best way to honor the dead is to go on living.
Agent M: Yes!
Pawny: I pledge loyalty eternal to you, Agent M!
Agent M: No, no, no. I’m not interested in a subject.
Pawny: Too late. It’s done. I already pledged the loyalty. I wish you’d said, “No, no, no,” before.
Agent H: [to M] Congratulations.
Pawny: And if you should die before I, I promise to end my own life.
Agent H: In the most painful way possible.
Pawny: Yeah. Ha. I don’t like you.
Agent H: Let’s go.
Pawny: My lady? Come on. We’ll have a fun time.
Agent M: Fine.
Pawny: [M picks him up to take with her] Yes!
Agent High T: This is nonsense. Despite your personal feelings, H is one of the best agents ever to wear the suit.
Agent C: No, sir, he was one of the best agent to wear the suit. He hasn’t been the same since the incident with the Hive.
Agent H: [as he’s about to zap the memory of the people in the crowd] Hi, everyone. If you could all look right here.
Agent M: Just drive.
[M takes the memory zapper and zaps them all]
Agent H: What do you think? Press the red button? I think it’s hyperdrive.
Agent M: No, no, no. I think hyperdrive is blue.
Agent H: Well, you know, sometimes you have to trust your gut.
Agent M: My gut, not yours!
Agent H: Let’s just press the button and see what this thing does.
Agent M: Are you suggesting that we try a weaponized star for fun?
Agent H: Mm-hmm. Well, for science and fun.
Agent M: Well, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Okay. Yeah, there is no better place than this, right? They don’t call it the Empty Quarter for nothing.
Agent H: Yes. That’s why I made the suggestion. Go.
Agent M: At just point zero zero one, what do you think?
Agent H: Yeah, just start off slow. Press the button.
Agent M: Okay.
Agent H: [as M presses the button, nothing happens] Hmm. Maybe ratchet it up a few notches, the little…
Agent H: [the weapon explodes the sand in front of them] Woh!
Pawny: That was the low setting?
Agent H: Do we think anyone’s going to notice that wasn’t there before?
Agent H: [referring to M] Pawny, can you ask her to pass me the torque wrench, please?
Pawny: She has a name and a title, and you know that. My lady, the jacka** wants a torque wrench.
Agent M: [M passes the wrench to H] Pawny, will you tell him that the sooner he restores power to my drive console, the sooner that I can figure out how to program it?
Pawny: My lady says that you’re a clock-brained a** clown whose gullible idiocy has threatened the very existence of the planet.
Agent H: Okay, you know what, she didn’t say that, alright? You little worst piece in a chess board.
Pawny: She said it.
Agent H: She didn’t say any of it.
Pawny: [H hits him lightly with the wrench] Ow!
Agent M: Yeah, but I was thinking it. Actually, every single word. You make a really good point. Thank you.
Agent H: You should tell your lady she now has power.
Pawny: The jacka** says, my lady, that you have power.
Agent M: Can you thank him?
Agent M: But in a cold, kind of polite way. You can even put a glare on it. Just play around with it. I trust you.
Pawny: [to H] My lady says thank you. Ugh.
Agent H: [as he’s fighting with the alien Luca Brasi] Looks like the tables have turned.
[he throws a hammer at the alien who catches it]
Agent H: That was an incredible catch.
Alien Twin: We must have the weapon for the Hive.
Agent H: No! You know, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we are the Men in Black. The Men and Women in Black.
Pawny: Nice save.
Agent H: If you think we’re just going to hand this thing over, you’ve got another thing coming. You don’t know who you’re dealing with. See, we protect the Earth. And that means everyone
and everything on it. You want to do this? You want to get down? Fine. Let’s go!
Agent M: Move and I’ll obliterate this entire island and everything on it.
Agent H: Yeah, including us. You don’t think we should’ve spoken about this before? I just gave a whole speech.
Agent M: Yeah, I really liked the speech. I just thought that maybe this was going to be more effective.
Agent M: [to the alien twins] You heard me. Don’t make me use it.
Agent H: We’ll do anything to protect our world.
Alien Twin: So will we.
Agent High T: [suddenly kills the twins] Nothing in this universe is unkillable. With the proper voltage.
Agent High T: The universe has a way of leading you to where you’re supposed to be.
Agent H: The moment you’re supposed to be there.
Agent M: High T is the mole. He’s got to be.
Agent H: A mole for who? Where would he be taking it?
Agent C: Paris. My guess would be Paris. I knew, you know, I knew all along that something was off. I thought he was covering for you. But it turns out it was him. He was hiding his own tracks.
Agent H: Well, there’s got to be an explanation. M, come on.
Agent C: I’m coming with you.
Agent H: No, C.
Agent C: Hey, hey. Come on, now, this isn’t about you.
Agent H: I know. I agree. Listen, if it turns out what you’re saying is true, and word gets out that T, the most decorated agent in MIB history is a traitor, the agency will never recover. If we stop him, no one ever has to know.
Agent C: But what if you can’t stop him? Then what?
Agent H: Well, then tell them it was me. Tell them I was the traitor. Trust me, the agency will believe you.
[as H and M start to walk off, H looks back and points at C]
Agent H: You.
[C reluctantly nods]
Agent M: [as H reveals their vehicle] I’m driving.
Agent M: [gets into the left side, referring to the steering wheel] That really should be here.
Agent H: Not in this country.
Agent H: [in the car whilst driving] There should be a big red button around here somewhere.
Pawny: Yes! Press the red button!
Agent M: Found it.
[M presses the button, nothing happens for a few seconds when suddenly the car shoots upwards]
Agent H: You remember when I told you we were in the lying business?
Agent M: Mm-hmm.
Agent H: That’s what T said to me the night he recruited me. He said, “We have to lie to the world, which means we could never lie to each other.” I just don’t believe that he has.
Agent M: But you can’t always trust your gut, H. Sometimes things are exactly as they appear to be.
Agent H: No, we saved the world, for God’s sakes. Together with nothing but our wits and our Series-7 De-Atomizers.
Agent M: So I’ve heard.
Agent H: [referring to O] So is she as tough as they say?
Agent M: In a word, yes.
Agent O: Well, you didn’t screw up.
Agent M: No, ma’am.
Agent H: Well, let’s be honest, there were a few bumps along the way. A little friction at the start.
Agent M: Let’s not be honest.
Agent H: Okay. No, we didn’t not screw up.
Agent M: You said there may be a problem in London, but you knew.
Agent O: I hadn’t trusted London branch for some time. I never understood the reason why. T lived for this organization. He was the very best we had to offer. He will be…missed.
Agent O: Welcome to the circus, Agent M. You are no longer probationary.
Agent H: Well, there you go, my work here is done.
Agent O: You are.
Agent H: I’m sorry, what?
Agent O: Probationary Head of London Branch.
Agent H: I’m sorry, Probationary Head? It sounds like I got promoted and demoted at the same time.
Agent O: No. Try and cope. Several years ago, before all this, T mentioned to me a young, up and coming field agent, who had certain leadership qualities, shall we say? Was his faith in you misplaced?
Agent H: No, I just think there are far more experienced agents than myself.
Agent O: Oh, there are. But you have the full support of our senior staff, and by the way, Agent C.
Agent H: Is that right?
Agent O: Do I take it you accept?
Agent H: Yes.
Agent O: Good. I’ll talk to the bosses upstairs.
Agent O: [to M] You need to clear your London desk and report to MIB in New York on Monday.
Agent H: New York?
Agent M: Thank you, Agent O.
Agent M: Congratulations, probie.
Agent H: Congratulations to you too.
Agent O: You’ll want to brief your agents. Walk with me. So you wanted to know how it all works. Now you do. And as you will no doubt have divined, Agent M, there’s a price.
Pawny: Hey, could you just zap me with that forgetting thing, please?
Agent H: What are you doing here, Pawny?
Pawny: Get used to seeing me, pretty boy. I’m your new babysitter.
Agent H: He’s my new what?
Agent M: Babysitter.
Pawny: Queen’s orders. She said the chance of your sorry a** surviving without me, zero.
Agent M: Okay, I did not say that, exactly.
Pawny: She said it’s slim to zero. I rounded it down to zero, because I feel like it’s zero.
Agent M: Consider it a parting gift.
Pawny: Come on, I saved the world. You couldn’t tell because you were getting choked out on the floor.
Agent H: Do I even have a choice?
Agent M: No.
Pawny: Yes! There we go.
Pawny: Alright, where’s that little red button?
Agent H: Oh, it’s right here.
Pawny: [H presses the button and he gets flipped over into the dashboard] Woh! I still don’t like you.
Agent H: I love that option. Now this is a very complicated piece of machinery, okay? So be careful.
Agent M: Yeah, got it. I’m going to trust my gut.