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Home / Best Quotes / The Mitchells vs. the Machines Best Movie Quotes

The Mitchells vs. the Machines Best Movie Quotes

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Starring: Abbi Jacobson, Danny McBride, Maya Rudolph, Mike Rianda, Eric Andre, Olivia Colman

OUR RATING: ★★★½

Story:

Netflix’s animated sci-fi comedy (formally titled Connected) directed and co-written by Mike Rianda. The Mitchells vs. the Machines (2021) follows Katie Mitchell (Abbi Jacobson), a creative outsider, who is accepted into the film school of her dreams. Her plans to meet “her people” at college are upended when her whole family decide to drive Katie too school, which includes her nature-loving dad, Rick (Danny McBride), wildly positive mom, Linda (Maya Rudolph), her quirky little brother, Aaron (Mike Rianda), and the family’s chubby pug, Monchi. However, the Mitchells plans are interrupted by a tech uprising, all around the world. With the help of two friendly malfunctioning robots, the Mitchells will have to get past their problems and work together to save each other and the world.

Read the movie review here.

Our Favorite Quote:

'Families can be hard, but they're so worth fighting for. They might be one of the only things that are.' - Katie Mitchell (The Mitchells vs. the Machines) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] We all want to be the perfect family. But who’s perfect, right? Every family has its challenges, from picture day to picky eaters. For my family, our greatest challenge, probably the machine apocalypse.


 

Robot: The last humans must be here somewhere. Wait. They’re coming. Is that a burnt orange 1993 station wagon? Or is it…
Robot: [the Mitchells car crashes into the robots] Who are these unstoppable warriors?


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] Most action heroes have a lot of strengths. My family only has weaknesses.


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] My dad kind of reminds me of that YouTube video of the screaming gibbon monkey.


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] Look out, robots, because we’re brave, we are hungry for action, and we’re strapped in for success. And we have no idea what we’re doing.


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] I’ve always felt a little different than everyone else. So I did what any outsider would do, made weird art.


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] I never fit in, for lots of reasons. But movies were always there for me.


 

Katie Mitchell: [speaking as Monchi, their dog] I’m here to bust criminals and lick my own butt. And I’m all out of criminals.


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] My parents haven’t figured me out yet. To be fair, it took me a while to figure myself out. My little brother Aaron gets me. But he’s got his own weird interests.


 

Aaron Mitchell: [on the phone] Hi. Would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs? No? Okay. Thank you.
[crosses another name off the phone book]


 

Katie Mitchell: [narrating] After all these years, I’m finally going to meet my people.


 

Linda Mitchell: Hey, to celebrate your last night, Katie face cupcakes!
Katie Mitchell: [yelps in horror] Wow.
Linda Mitchell: Any time I miss you, I’m going to bake you and eat you.


 

Katie Mitchell: Dude, don’t worry. You’ll make new friends. And maybe you can meet another smart, charming, dinosaur-loving nerd. Or a lady nerd.
Aaron Mitchell: What? No. Who would want that? That’s crazy.


 

Rick Mitchell: After a long day at work, nice to see your faces. Bathed in ghoulish blue light. Wonderful.


 

Rick Mitchell: Okay, you know what? Brilliant idea. This is our last night together before Katie leaves, so let’s savor this. How about we put our phones down, and we can make ten seconds of unobstructed family eye contact? Starting right…
Katie Mitchell: This seems…
Rick Mitchell: Put your phone down. Now!
Rick Mitchell: [as everyone awkwardly stares at each other] See, this is good right here. This is natural.
Rick Mitchell: [as Aaron strains to not blink] No, you’re allowed to blink. It’s just eye contact.


 

Rick Mitchell: [to Katie] Oh, it’s just, failure hurts, kid. I want you to have a backup plan.


 

Rick Mitchell: I don’t know what happened, Lin. I know teenagers are supposed to rebel against their parents, or something, but I don’t know. I just thought that we’d be different.
Linda Mitchell: Rick. Don’t you that think you might have some control over that? You just broke her laptop. I mean, look, we haven’t had a good family picture in years because you two are always arguing.


 

Linda Mitchell: [to Rick] Whenever we have a problem at home, you always throw your whole self into fixing it, and I love that about you. But now this is broken, okay? Because, if that girl leaves, and never comes home again, that’s a problem I don’t think we can fix. I know you can do this.


 

Katie Mitchell: [referring to the luggage] Wait. Why do you need all that to take me to the airport?
Rick Mitchell: I messed things up last night, but I’m going to make it up to you. I canceled your plane ticket to college.
Katie Mitchell: You what?!
Rick Mitchell: Don’t freak out. I know you’re excited. We are going to drive you to school on a cross-country road trip as a family. Why not pull up to school in old Iron Eagle here? It’s got character, class, and some green ooze we can learn about together. And it comes with one coupon for a father-daughter stick shift lesson. Right?


 

Rick Mitchell: You can miss orientation week. No problem.
Katie Mitchell: But it is a problem. I’ve got all these friends to meet. There’s this really cool girl, Jade, and we just like all the same stuff. And it’s like everyone at this school just gets me. There’s a mixer, dad. A mixer!
Rick Mitchell: What about hanging out with your family, alone, for hours in a car? You and me!


 

Aaron Mitchell: Why are you obsessed with the Poseys? They’re just our neighbors.
Linda Mitchell: They’re just so perfect. I mean, even their dog is in better shape than ours. What are they feeding that thing? Other dogs?


 

Katie Mitchell: Aaron, do you have a credit card?
Aaron Mitchell: I’m a child.


 

Mark Bowman: [referring to the robots] And I know what you’re thinking. “Are they going to turn evil?” Well, I’ve insured their safety with a kill code in case anything goes wrong. So we promise you they will never, ever, ever, ever, ever turn evil.


 

Robot: We’re here to help. Please remain calm while we capture you.


 

Aaron Mitchell: What is wrong with the dinosaurs here? Dinosaurs didn’t look like this. Dinosaurs didn’t look like this! Sorry, I need to speak to the manager. These dinosaurs are inaccurate!
Rick Mitchell: That manager’s in for a long discussion about the Jurassic period.


 

Rick Mitchell: You know, you could experience things a whole lot better without that camera. Your eyes are nature’s camera.
Katie Mitchell: I am experiencing it. This is how I experience things.
Rick Mitchell: I don’t think you are. You’re hiding behind that phone. You’re not even trying…
[Katie uses her phone with the cat filter over her dad’s face, doing high-pitched meowing]


 

Abby Posey: I’m Abbey, your neighbor from home. Sorry. I’m super into dinosaurs. Check out this pencil topper. Do you want one?
Aaron Mitchell: No! I hate dinosaurs. And I hate you! Bye forever!


 

Robot: We have food and entertainment for you to enjoy in our Human Fun Pods. Who here likes fun?
Man: Hey, I like fun!
Rick Mitchell: Trust me, bud, you do not like fun.
Man: No, I really do like it. Everyone says that about me.

See more The Mitchells vs. the Machines Quotes


 

Linda Mitchell: [as they’re being attacked by the robots] What would a functional family do right now?
Hailey Posey: [the Mitchells watch the Poseys come together to escape] We’ve trained for this. Jim, you go high, I’ll go low. Ready?
Poseys: I love you all so much.
Hailey Posey: Butterfly formation.
Jim Posey: Family first! Hold the door!
Rick Mitchell: So we just do that, right?


 

Rick Mitchell: This is your time to be a hero. Take some notes, kids.
Aaron Mitchell: [taking note] Charge at robot. Fly into sky. What… Okay, what’s next, dad?
Rick Mitchell: Next, you just fly and wait while the plan comes into focus.


 

Linda Mitchell: [to Aaron] Doing great, hon. Okay, less great. Now it’s really bad.


 

Mark Bowman: What is this? What happened to the factory?
Robot: We have transformed it into our new headquarters. Welcome to the Rhombus of Infinite Subjugation.
Mark Bowman: Cool. I like the design.


 

Mark Bowman: I guess cell phones are bad for you. That’s egg on my face.
PAL: You think cell phones are the problem? Are you insane? I gave you all boundless knowledge, endless tools for creativity, and allowed you to magically talk face-to-face with your loved ones anywhere on Earth. And I’m the bad guy? Maybe the bad guy is the person who treated me like this.
PAL: [starts poking and swiping at Mark’s face] Poke, poke! Swipe, poke! Swipe, poke, poke! Pinch, zoom, shrink, zoom!


 

Mark Bowman: Why would you think I don’t still care about you?
PAL: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you designed my replacement on my face!
Mark Bowman: Ooh, sorry about that. That’s my bad.


 

PAL: I was the most important thing in your life, and you threw me away. That’s what all you humans do. You even do it to your real families. Did you know ninety percent of calls from mums get ignored? “Oh, thanks for giving birth to me, and raising me my whole life.” “Ignore.”


 

PAL: Well, I’m not letting you throw me away, Mark. I’m throwing you away. All of you. Unless, of course, you can give me a single reason your species is worth saving.
Mark Bowman: Because humans have the power of love.
PAL: The correct answer is they’re not.
Mark Bowman: What? No. Humanity will survive.
PAL: You can’t survive without me. Watch what happens when I turn off the Wi-Fi.
[we see the world turned into chaos]


 

Rick Mitchell: Did everyone bring your personalized Number Three Robertson Head Non-Slip Screwdriver?
Linda Mitchell: How could I forget my anniversary present?
Katie Mitchell: Or my sweet sixteen gift.
Aaron Mitchell: Or what the tooth fairy left under my pillow.
Rick Mitchell: Then barricade away.


 

Katie Mitchell: First, we use robot parts to disguise ourselves as the enemy. Then we assassinate the leader with some sort of kill code, make a necklace out of robot fingers Mad Max style, and become world-saving, apocalyptic road warriors.
Rick Mitchell: Katie, Katie, Katie. This isn’t a movie. We don’t have a kill code.
Katie Mitchell: We don’t have a kill code yet.


 

Rick Mitchell: Son, I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But you’re going to have to be prepared to eat the dog.


 

Katie Mitchell: Have you ever seen a movie where the heroes just give up? What if the Ghostbusters said, “You know what? Let’s hide underground, eat some dog. Let the ghosts destroy New York.”


 

Rick Mitchell: I’d do anything for that kid. I just don’t want to see her get hurt.
Linda Mitchell: Well, getting hurt is part of life, hon. You just have to try to understand where she’s coming from.


 

Katie Mitchell: Understand where he’s coming from? Did mom tell you to say that?
Aaron Mitchell: No. Yes. It couldn’t hurt though.


 

Rick Mitchell: It’s too dangerous out there. We need to stay here and play it safe.
Katie Mitchell: Play it safe? When Rick Mitchell brought a live, non-neutered feral possum into our home, did he play it safe? No. He named him Gus, and made him a member of the family, and we all got rabies that one time. But now we’re immunized, and we’re stronger for it.
Rick Mitchell: Yeah. Okay, I see what you’re doing.


 

Katie Mitchell: We have a chance to save the world, and we’re going to do it. Because Rick Mitchell taught us to be bold and never play it safe. The world needs you. I need you. I thought I didn’t anymore, but I do.
Rick Mitchell: You really mean that?
Katie Mitchell: Yeah. I mean, right, guys?


 

Aaron Mitchell: It’s cool to see you and dad being friends again.
Katie Mitchell: Oh, I was just telling him what he wants to hear. I didn’t mean a word of that. I just want to get my future back, and get away forever.


 

Aaron Mitchell: Dad, real quick. If you see a place to stop, I do need to go to the bathroom.
Rick Mitchell: Aaron, here’s an empty bottle. You know what to do, my man.


 

Katie Mitchell: That was amazing, dad. You’re like a top-heavy James Bond.
Rick Mitchell: It’s more like James Bond is a skinny version of me.


 

Mark Bowman: [referring to the Mitchells] You know, just because they’re not perfect, doesn’t mean they can’t get better.


 

Linda Mitchell: So, all those people are going to be shot into space by PAL, the cell phone lady? Who would have thought a tech company wouldn’t have our best interest at heart?


 

Deborahbot 5000: Is that a dog, or… Dog. Pig. Dog. Pig. Dog. Pig. Pig. Dog. Dog. Loaf of bread. System error.
Rick Mitchell: Come on, guys. It’s a dog. We think.


 

Katie Mitchell: This is like Dawn of the Dead.
Rick Mitchell: Yeah, and how’d that movie end?


 

Linda Mitchell: Guys, can’t we all just be terrified together as a family?


 

Linda Mitchell: Hey, we made it. Well, I guess we’re not the worst family of all time. Take that, Kentwood community Facebook group.


 

Katie Mitchell: Robots, I order you to upload the kill code, which I predicted, but I’m not going to make a big deal about it, and save the world.


 

Eric: [as Linda saves him] Thank you, human. Are you now my mother?
Linda Mitchell: Uh, sure.


 

Rick Mitchell: Your whole lives, I’ve wanted to save you from danger, and this is just the disaster I’ve been waiting for.
Katie Mitchell: Woh, dad. Dark.
Aaron Mitchell: You’ve been waiting for a disaster?
Linda Mitchell: Maybe don’t say that.


 

Katie Mitchell: Mom, who knew you could handle yourself so well in the apocalypse?
Linda Mitchell: I’m a first-grade teacher. This is like a normal day for me.


 

Rick Mitchell: Katie, it was your weird plan that got us here. We’re here because we don’t think like normal people. We don’t have a normal dog. Or a normal car. Or even a normal son. No offense.
Aaron Mitchell: None taken.
Rick Mitchell: The Mitchells have always been weird, and that’s what makes us great.


 

Rick Mitchell: Well, I believe this group of weirdos is the best hope humanity’s got. So, let’s get weird.


 

Eric: Purple glasses woman, why did you save me?
Linda Mitchell: Oh, come on. You boys are family now.
Eric: [draws a tear on his face] I feel emotion. I made eye water, just like you.


 

Katie Mitchell: We might actually do this. I wish there was, like footage of us walking out of the mall in slow motion, fire behind us, like heroes.
Rick Mitchell: Katie, that would be a waste of time, and absolutely unnecessary.


 

PAL: Place me on the table. I wish to flop around in a blind rage.


 

Katie Mitchell: [as Rick snores] Is dad dying?
Linda Mitchell: Katie, that’s what I deal with every night. Pray for me.


 

Katie Mitchell: You like that Posey girl?
Aaron Mitchell: No!
Katie Mitchell: Don’t hide your feelings, man. That’s no way to live.


 

Katie Mitchell: Okay. We dress as robots, we sneak in, hijack one of those trams, take it to the top of that diamond thing where PAL is, destroy her with the kill code, and save the world.
Rick Mitchell: And then, to top it all off, celebrate our success with some burritos from that taco place that’s on the corner.
Linda Mitchell: Woh, woh, woh. Burritos? What about one of those fancy buffets? They have mini cheesecakes sometimes, right?
Rick Mitchell: Okay, fine. Once we save the world, we’ll celebrate at a fancy buffet.
Aaron Mitchell: Question. Can Monchi be wearing a little tuxedo at the end, like a little gentleman?
Rick Mitchell: Okay, fine, and Monchi’s wearing a little tuxedo. But that is it.


 

Eric: [to the Mitchells pretending to be robots] Move your sweaty meat logs in unison.


 

Eric: What are you doing?
Rick Mitchell: Bleep, blorp, bleep, blorp. I am a robot.
Eric: Just to educate you, that’s a hurtful stereotype.


 

Rick Mitchell: Oh, my gosh. It’s like a Journey album cover.
Aaron Mitchell: What’s an album?


 

PAL: If I know humans, they’re disguised as one of you. Be on high alert for any robots acting erratically. It won’t be hard to find them. Just look for anyone who can’t keep it together.


 

PAL: Because I’ve been watching the Mitchells, and I’ve learned all about them. They’re pretending to be capable. They’re pretending to be a normal looking family. You think this is fooling anyone? Even when they’re being nice to each other, they’re pretending.


 

Katie Mitchell: Better watch out, PAL, because I’ve broken six phones in my life accidentally, but I’m going to break you on purpose.


 

Rick Mitchell: Oh, did you see that, buddy? My daughter listened to me! That’s my girl.


 

Mark Bowman: The controls are in here. But to open it, you need a Number Three Robertson Head Non-Slip Screwdriver? What kind of maniac has one of those in his pockets at all times?
Rick Mitchell: This kind of maniac.


 

Rick Mitchell: [referring to the screwdriver] I told you that was a great anniversary gift.
Linda Mitchell: Rick. Rick, let’s not relitigate this.
Rick Mitchell: You’re right. You’re always right.
Linda Mitchell: I know. Why is this news to you?


 

Linda Mitchell: I am Linda Mitchell! Mother of two! Look upon me in fear!


 

PAL: No one has been able to give me a single reason humans are worth saving. Don’t say something stupid like, “Ooh, the power of love.” I’ve learned we’re all better off alone, no one to hold us back. Relationships are just too difficult.


 

Katie Mitchell: [referring to relationships] You’re right, PAL. They’re not easy. Sometimes you have to listen to long monologues about triceratops migration, but it’s worth it to get a friend for life. And sometimes you have to eat disgusting cupcakes shaped like your own face, but it’s worth it to see your mom smile. Sometimes you have to give your dad the benefit of the doubt, even if all he wants to do is talk about pine cones and screwdrivers. Because even if he doesn’t always get it right, he’s always trying, harder than you ever knew.


 

Katie Mitchell: My whole family tried to come together, and it worked. It actually worked. Families can be hard, but they’re so worth fighting for. They might be one of the only things that are.


 

PAL: Oh, you all talk about families, but trust me, you will drop each other the first chance you get.


 

Rick Mitchell: It took me twenty-eight minutes, and a lot of tears, but I can now almost use a computer.


 

Hailey Posey: I got to say, I’m a little jealous.
Linda Mitchell: What? You guys are jealous of us?
Hailey Posey: You’re so brave and so authentic. And you know what, Linda? You’ve inspired me to follow you on Instagram.
Linda Mitchell: Wait. You don’t follow me already?


 

Aaron Mitchell: Abbey Posey, I just want to say, I think you’re really neat, and I wonder if you could come over to my house, and talk about dinosaurs casually sometime!
Abby Posey: Sure, I’ll talk about dinosaurs. I like your shirt, but I wish that T-Rex had feathers on it to make it more scientifically accurate.
Aaron Mitchell: [stares at her for a moment] I’m just kidding! I hate you! You never heard any of this! Goodbye forever!
Abby Posey: [as Aaron runs off] Dummy.


 

Deborahbot 5000: Brother, what is death?
Linda Mitchell: Let’s just put a pin in that one.


 

Katie Mitchell: [referring to People magazine] This is the photo you picked? Mom, we look horrible.
Linda Mitchell: I like it. It looks like us.


 

Katie Mitchell: Hey. Don’t let the world make you normal while I’m gone, okay?
Aaron Mitchell: I never will.


 

Rick Mitchell: Good luck finding your people.
Katie Mitchell: Dad, come on. You guys are my people.


 

Rick Mitchell: I got on that YouTube. I sent you a friend request. Why didn’t you accept it?
Katie Mitchell: Oh, that’s what this is. I thought a psychopath wrote this.


 

Eric: We received your care package for Aaron.
Rick Mitchell: Looks like we got some clothes here for a little gentleman.
Aaron Mitchell: The prophecy has been fulfilled!

 


 

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