Copyright Notice: It’s easy to see when our selected quotes have been copied and pasted, as you’re also copying our format, mistakes, and movie scene descriptions. If you decide to copy from us please be kind and either link back, or refer back to our site. Please check out our copyright policies here. Thanks!
Starring: Freida Pinto, Sope Dirisu, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Ashley Park, Zawe Ashton, Theo James, Divian Ladwa, Sianad Gregory
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Romantic period drama directed by Emma Holly Jones. Set in Regency era England, Mr. Malcolm’s List (2022) follows Selina Dalton (Freida Pinto), a bachelorette who doesn’t intend to marry anytime soon. However, when her friend, Julia Thistlewaite (Zawe Ashton), is jilted by London’s most eligible bachelor, Mr. Malcolm (Sope Dirisu), for failing to meet an item on his list of requirements for a bride, feeling humiliated and determined to exact revenge, Julia convinces Selina to play the role of his ideal match. Soon, Mr. Malcolm wonders whether he’s found the perfect woman, or the perfect hoax.
Our Favorite Quotes:'Love cannot be planned so carefully. It will stir things up a bit. That is part of its charm.' - Lady Kilbourne (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Young Julia: Keeping your head in books all day will not create the marriageable mind.
Young Selina: I have nothing materially to offer a husband anyway.
Young Julia: And I have no loving father to make me a match. A right pair we make.
Young Selina: And you really think I can visit you in London one day?
Young Julia: Of course. After I’ve fallen in love and made myself a proper match, then I shall find you a husband. We will always look out for one another, dear Selina.
Lady Kilbourne: The biggest catch of the season in the year of our Lord 1818 was the
Honorable Jeremy Malcolm. ‘Twas true he had no title of his own, and was only
a younger son of an earl, but his maternal aunt had left him the bulk of her sizable fortune and a large country estate in Kent.
'Is any dream futile? It gives us hope, and hope is a good thing.' - Selina Dalton (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Lady Kilbourne: Mr. Malcolm was searching for a bride. But not just any bride. And he wouldn’t be seduced by fine eyes, or a flirtatious smile. He had no interest in social climbers, or fortune hunters. Mr. Malcolm was a kind man who possessed an outward reserve that concealed a warm heart. A heart he was eager to bestow upon the appropriate young lady. In fact, he had set upon a unique way of pursuing true love that was beginning to earn him quite the reputation.
Lucy: [referring to Malcolm] He gave up his seat for me once. I nearly swooned.
Mr. Malcolm: Tell me, what opinion do you hold on the Corn Laws?
Julia Thistlewaite: The Corn Laws?
Mr. Malcolm: Yes.
Julia Thistlewaite: Let me think. Why, I am for them, of course.
Mr. Malcolm: Really? And why is that, if I may ask?
Julia Thistlewaite: Well, I believe that restraint in one’s diet is bound to have a healthful effect.
Mr. Malcolm: It’s a pity you’re not able to speak on the parliamentary floor. Your views could change the face of politics. Or its figure, at any rate.
Mr. Woodbury: I realize that I may be your senior by, well, a few years, but I have always felt that a woman would benefit from a more mature companion, one who can give her guidance in life.
Selina Dalton: Like a father, you mean?
Mr. Woodbury: You jest, Miss Dalton.
Selina Dalton: Well, it is true that my family situation weighs heavily on me, but I still must refuse your kind offer.
Mr. Woodbury: I find such an attitude incomprehensible. I must warn you, this offer will not be extended a second time.
Selina Dalton: Third, actually!
'Hope is a chief happiness which this world affords.' - Selina Dalton (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Mr. Woodbury: [after he leaves Selina’s house] Out of my way, idiot geese!
Lord Cassidy: They are calling you a trifler, a breaker of hearts, a destroyer of young ladies dreams.
Mr. Malcolm: You’re joking.
Lord Cassidy: No.
Mr. Malcolm: What nonsense.
Lord Cassidy: What actually occurred is besides the point. It’s what people say that matters. And everyone is saying that there must be something wrong with Julia.
Mr. Malcolm: Well, I’m sorry that your cousin has become the target of gossips. But I do not plan to marry a woman merely because I took her to the opera.
Mr. Malcolm: What are those dreams I am accused of destroying? Dreams of marrying the “catch of the season” purely for my fortune. I will not have it.
Mr. Malcolm: [referring to Julia] She’s handsome enough, but she’s not the one for me.
Lord Cassidy: No. Why not?
Mr. Malcolm: I don’t know. She flutters her eyelashes far too much.
Lord Cassidy: Malcolm, that’s blinking.
'I find courting to be less an art than an avocation.' - Julia Thistlewaite (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Mr. Malcolm: [referring to Julia] My tailor’s conversation is far more scintillating than your cousin’s. I tried to engage her in a discussion about the Corn Laws, and she thought it was a diet regimen.
Lord Cassidy: You have some sort of list of qualifications for a bride?
Mr. Malcolm: Yes, I do. So?
Lord Cassidy: That is damned arrogant of you. Well, no wonder you cannot settle upon anyone. You want them to meet some catalog of requirements, like a tandem horse you’re purchasing for your curricle.
Lord Cassidy: Next thing you know, you’ll be putting her through her paces, or checking her teeth. Disaster.
Mr. Malcolm: I’ll add that to the list.
Julia Thistlewaite: He has a list of requirements for a bride?
Lord Cassidy: Yes. And I must say that I did not care for the idea at first myself, but then when he explained it to me, I could see his point. I mean, what if the girl has some odd kick in her gallop?
Julia Thistlewaite: Charming!
'I promise to be everything he desires in a woman. Witty, humorous, serious, genteel, musical, fashionable, only the best relations, and all at the same time.' - Selina Dalton (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Lord Cassidy: No one can live up to these expectations. I mean, even if you’d passed the Corn Laws test, your eyelashes, they irritated him to no end.
Julia Thistlewaite: My eyelashes? Is the man deranged?
Lord Cassidy: No, of course not. You just can’t fool him with those tricks you pull. He despises flirtatious games.
Julia Thistlewaite: The unmitigated gall. What conceit!
Julia Thistlewaite: Somehow I will see to it that the Honorable Mr. Malcolm receives exactly what he deserves. He won’t get away with this.
Julia Thistlewaite: [as Selina reads her letter] Will you come visit me in London for what is left of the season? I promise you will be well entertained.
Selina Dalton: Bath has become quite the destination for septuagenarians.
Julia Thistlewaite: Oh, my dear, I understand completely. I find foreigners very tedious as well.
Julia Thistlewaite: If we were to present you as the perfect woman that he is looking for, and then allow him to discover that you have a list, and he does not meet the requirements on your list, well, that would be a perfect sort of poetic justice.
Selina Dalton: I don’t know. It sounds rather devious.
Julia Thistlewaite: My dear Selina! Do not be such a namby-pamby! I will not allow that man to ruin one more reputation.
'A man who marries a woman marries all her relatives.' - Mr. Malcolm (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Selina Dalton: [to Julia] Your cousin is going to instruct me on how to attract a sophisticated gentleman of particular tastes?
Lord Cassidy: Apparently, yes.
Julia Thistlewaite: My dear Selina. I do hope you’ll agree to help me. After all, we’ve always looked out for each other, have we not? Plus, it could be rather fun.
Lord Cassidy: Becoming a suitable bride is quite burdensome. I almost feel as if I’m being trained up to become a wife.
Selina Dalton: I know. God forbid someone decided to enter a marriage based on love.
Lord Cassidy: What a wonderful thing to say.
Julia Thistlewaite: [to Selina] You must exude an elegance of mind, a knowledge of the world, while still retaining the naïveté that men find so charming.
Julia Thistlewaite: A gentleman doesn’t like a lady to be more intelligent than he is. A wife with a mind, God forbid.
Mr. Malcolm: I was reflecting on the futility of a dream.
Selina Dalton: Is any dream futile? It gives us hope, and hope is a good thing.
Mr. Malcolm: In your opinion. Others of us may believe, as the poet said, “‘Tis hope is the most hopeless thing of all.”
Selina Dalton: What a sad conviction. I prefer to believe, as Johnson did, that hope is a “chief happiness which this world affords”. But, perhaps, you hope for something unworthy, in which case you deserve to hope in vain.
Selina Dalton: So you contend you hope for something worthy?
Mr. Malcolm: I do, indeed.
Selina Dalton: Then it is my hope that you obtain it.
Mr. Malcolm: I am honored. Perhaps I am mistaken in thinking hope a useless thing.
Lord Cassidy: I have a likely prospect for you. Young filly, deep-chested, long legs.
Mr. Malcolm: I very much regret using this horse analogy.
Lord Cassidy: No. No, no. I think you’ll like this one. She has quite the air of mystery about her.
Mr. Malcolm: That sounds alarming. I tend to keep my distance from mysterious young ladies.
'You learn the rules. You follow the rules. If there is a moment where there is no rule, you make a rule, you follow that. I find everything else overwhelming.' - Mr. Malcolm (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Lord Cassidy: Mr. Jeremy Malcolm, may I present Miss Selina Dalton?
Mr. Malcolm: Miss Dalton, I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, properly.
Selina Dalton: Well, you most certainly have a reputation.
Mr. Malcolm: As? A trifler?
Selina Dalton: Well, yes.
Mr. Malcolm: Breaker of hearts?
Selina Dalton: I suppose one could say that.
Mr. Malcolm: A destroyer of young ladies dreams?
Selina Dalton: That is an absurd exaggeration, but I have heard rumors along those lines.
Mr. Malcolm: And you, do you believe this description of me?
Selina Dalton: I am not ready to pass judgment.
Mr. Malcolm: Well, I am glad to hear you say that, Miss Dalton, for I do not believe I deserve this reputation I have acquired.
Selina Dalton: [to Malcolm] Well, you and Miss Thistlewaite are the victims of a most egregious set of circumstances. Feathers and screeching sopranos are not conducive to romance.
'No one wants a person incapable of forgiveness for a friend.' - Selina Dalton (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Captain Henry Ossory: I am thinking of selling out and joining the ranks of you idle gentlemen wastrels.
Mr. Malcolm: Are you sure you’re up to it? It can be quite exhausting.
Julia Thistlewaite: [to Selina] Just wait until he starts to weigh you up against that list of his. Then you’ll see how unpleasant he can be.
Selina Dalton: [referring to Malcolm] But I’m just not sure he is the villain you paint him to be.
Julia Thistlewaite: I want him humiliated, as I was. More than anything, I want my reputation restored. And my prospects are dwindling.
Selina Dalton: [referring to Malcolm] He has this effect on all women. It’s like he exercises some kind of power over them.
Selina Dalton: He did not exercise any power over me.
Julia Thistlewaite: Are you sure? You did not find something mesmerizing about him?
Selina Dalton: I cannot deny that I see a certain attraction.
Julia Thistlewaite: I knew it. You’re being blinded by his intelligent conversation, and devastatingly handsome good looks. Well, take it from me, it leads to nowhere.
'There is a certain feeling of insecurity when you find yourself falling in love with someone.' - Mr. Malcolm (Mr. Malcolm's List) Click To Tweet
Captain Henry Ossory: I came to London to meet you because it’s my belief that my aunt desired us to make a match.
Selina Dalton: What gave you that impression?
Captain Henry Ossory: Well, her letter to me before her death, in it she wrote, “It is my desire that you and Miss Dalton make a match.”
Selina Dalton: I see. Then it appears you interpreted her meaning correctly.
Julia Thistlewaite: One of the requirements on his list is, “Has genteel relations from good society.”
Selina Dalton: I wouldn’t call the Daltons “from good society”.
Lord Cassidy: But, Selina, you’re the daughter of a clergyman. That’s at least fourth-class society, possibly even third.
Julia Thistlewaite: At best.