On Stranger Tides Quotes: Depp Keeps it Afloat(Total Quotes: 58)
Directed by: Rob Marshall
Ted Elliott (screenplay, story & characters)
Terry Rossio (screenplay & story)
Stuart Beattie (characters)
Jay Wolpert (characters)
Johnny Depp – Jack Sparrow
Penélope Cruz – Angelica Malon
Geoffrey Rush – Barbossa
Ian McShane – Blackbeard
Kevin McNally – Gibbs
Sam Claflin – Philip
Astrid Berges-Frisbey – Syrena
Stephen Graham – Scrum
Keith Richards – Captain Teague
Richard Griffiths – King George
Greg Ellis – Groves
Damian O’Hare – Gillette
Óscar Jaenada – The Spaniard
Anton Lesser – Lord John Carteret
Roger Allam – Prime Minister Henry Pelham
Judi Dench – Society Lady
OUR REVIEW & RATING ★★☆☆☆
After viewing this movie the only thing that can be said about Pirates of Caribbean: On Stranger Tides quotes is that it left you feeling with very little to love or hate. Johnny Depp is the only thing keeping this movie afloat and sinking to the bottom of nothingness.
Verdict: At best, this is a mix of frustration and fun. There was plenty of potential that wasn’t met because of the questionable plot line, a lot of pointless moments and sadly a lack of chemistry.
[Jack Sparrow’s first lines; dressed as a judge]
Jack Sparrow: Now, what do we have here?
Jailor: Shut up!
[he hits Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: It’s not necessary.
Jack Sparrow: You were saying?
Gibbs: Jack Sparrow is not my name. My name is Joshamee Gibbs.
Jack Sparrow: Is that so? It says Jack Sparrow here.
Gibbs: I told ’em. I’m not Jack Sparrow, who I would be happy to identify to the court if it would help my case.
Jack Sparrow: I think that would be a poor defense. Unless you want to be bludgeoned again, like a harp seal.
[to the jury]
Jack Sparrow: Prisoner claims to be innocent to being Jack Sparrow. How do you find?
Foreman: No trial? But aren’t we here to examine the evidence?
Jack Sparrow: Foreman, your finding? Guilty?
Foreman: Guilty verdict means he’ll hang.
[the court crowds cheers for a hanging]
Gibbs: That’s not fair!
Jack Sparrow: Shut it! Joshamee Gibbs, the crime of which you’ve been found guilty of, is being innocent of being Jack Sparrow. I hereby commute your sentence and order that you be imprisoned for the remainder of your miserable, moribund, mutton-chopped life. There!
Gibbs: Hells teeth! Now we’re both headed for prison!
Jack Sparrow: Not to worry. I’ve paid off the driver. Ten minutes, we’ll be outside London town, horses waiting. Tonight we’ll make the coast. Then it’s just a matter of finding the ship.
Gibbs: All part of the plan, yes?
Jack Sparrow: Exactly! I arrived in London town just this morning to rescue one Joshamee Gibbs from one appointment with the gallows. Seeing how you’re still alive, I say it’s all been very successful thus far.
Jack Sparrow: What happened to you Gibbs? I thought you were employed elsewhere or otherwise engaged?
Gibbs: Aye, but I always listened like a thief for news of the Black Pearl. Nobody seen where she might next make port. Then, I hear a rumor. Jack Sparrow is in London, with a ship and looking for a crew.
Jack Sparrow: Am not!
Gibbs: But that’s what I heard. The fact is you’re signing up me life. Pub called the Cattles daughter.
Jack Sparrow: Am not!
Gibbs: Well, I thought it a bit odd. Then, you’ve never been the most predictable of sorts.
Jack Sparrow: Tell me something. There is another Jack Sparrow out there sullying my good name?
Gibbs: An impostor!
Jack Sparrow: Indeed. But, an impostor with a ship.
Gibbs: And in need of a crew.
Jack Sparrow: Which as fate would have it, so am I.
Gibbs: What about you, Jack? Last I heard you were hell bent to find the fountain of youth. Any luck?
Jack Sparrow: Circumstances arose and forced compelling insight, regarding discretion and valor.
Gibbs: Meaning, you gave up!
Jack Sparrow: I did not! I’m just as bent as ever! Hellishly so! I shall taste those waters, Master Gibbs. Mark my words.
Lord John Carteret: You are Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: There should be a Captain in there somewhere.
King George: I’ve heard of you. And you know who I am?
Jack Sparrow: Face is familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Prime Minister Henry Pelham: You are in the presence of George Augustus, Duke of Brunswick-LÃ¼neburg. Arch treasurer and prince elector of the holy Roman empire and King of Great Britain and Ireland. And of you.
Jack Sparrow: Doesn’t ring a bell.
King George: I am informed you are come to London to procure a crew for your ship.
Jack Sparrow: This is rumor. Not true.
King George: Then you lied to me when you told me you were Jack Sparrow?
Jack Sparrow: I am Jack Sparrow. But I’m not here to procure a crew. That is someone else.
King George: Ah! Someone else named Jack Sparrow.
[to his men]
King George: You’ve brought me the wrong wasteral. Find the proper one and dispose of this impostor.
Jack Sparrow: No! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hang on a minute! I’m Jack Sparrow, the one and only. And I am in London.
King George: Have you a map?
Jack Sparrow: No.
Prime Minister Henry Pelham: Where is it?
Jack Sparrow: The truth. I lost it. Quite recently, in fact.
King George: I have a report, the Spanish have located the fountain of youth.
King George: I will not have some melancholy Spanish monarch, a catholic, gain eternal life!
Prime Minister Henry Pelham: You do know the way to the fountain?
Jack Sparrow: Of course I do. Look at me!
Lord John Carteret: You could guide an expedition.
Jack Sparrow: With your permission, your highny, you will be providing them a ship and a crew.
King George: And a captain.
Jack Sparrow: Hector. How nice to see a fellow pirate make good of himself.
Barbossa: Pirate? Nay! Privateer on a sanctioned mission under the authority and protection of the crown.
Jack Sparrow: As may be. But first, what has become of my beloved Pearl?
Barbossa: I lost the Pearl as I lost my leg!
Jack Sparrow: Lost the Pearl?
Barbossa: Aye. I defended her mightily enough. But she sunk none the less.
[suddenly Jack goes to grab Barbossa, but the King’s guards grab hold of him]
Jack Sparrow: If that ship be sunk properly, you should be sunk with it.
Jack Sparrow: You sir, have stooped.
Barbossa: Jack, our sands all but run. Where’s the harm in joining the winning side. And you do meet a nicer class of person.
Jack Sparrow: I understand everything. Except that wig!
Captain Teague: Hello, Jackie.
Jack Sparrow: Hello, dad.
Captain Teague: I heard you’re putting together a crew.
Jack Sparrow: If enough people are saying it, it must be true!
Captain Teague: I heard where you’re headed. The fountain.
Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?
Captain Teague: Does this face look like it’s been to the fountain of youth?
Jack Sparrow: Depends on the light.
Captain Teague: And one last thing, Jackie. The fountain, tests you. Mark my words.
[to impostor impersonating Jack]
Jack Sparrow: You’ve stolen me! And I’m here to take me self back.
[after finding out the Angelica is the one impersonating herself as him]
Jack Sparrow: Hello, Angelica.
Angelica Malon: Hello, Jack. Are you impressed? I think I almost killed you, once or twice there.
Jack Sparrow: I’m touched at this most sincerest form of flattery. But why?
Angelica Malon: You were the only pirate I thought I would pass for.
Jack Sparrow: That is not a compliment.
Angelica Malon: Don’t worry, Jack. I forgave you a long time ago.
Jack Sparrow: For what? For leaving you?
Angelica Malon: Recall, that I left you.
Jack Sparrow: A gentlemen allows a lady to maintain her fiction.
Angelica Malon: I hear tale you’ve been to the fountain.
Jack Sparrow: There’ve been a lot of hear telling going on these days.
Angelica Malon: The fountain of youth.
Jack Sparrow: Dearest Angelica, fret not. You still have a few usable years left.
Angelica Malon: Always so charming. You didn’t answer me.
Angelica Malon: You know, you haven’t changed!
Jack Sparrow: Implying the need?
Angelica Malon: Yes! You betrayed me! You seduced me and you used me. I was innocent to the ways of men.
Jack Sparrow: You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted.
Angelica Malon: I was ready to take my vows! And you! What were you doing in a Spanish convent anyway?
Jack Sparrow: Mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake.
Jack Sparrow: You are of course, aware of the ritual?
Angelica Malon: Yes, I am.
Jack Sparrow: Ooh! What is it? What is required?
Angelica: A Mermaid, Jack.
[referring to Gunner as he shouts at them to work harder]
Jack Sparrow: He’s a curious one.
Scrum: He’s been zombified.
Jack Sparrow: Hey?
Scrum: Zombified. Blackbeard’s doing. All the officers are the same. Makes ’em more compliant.
[as Gunner snaps his wipe at one of the men on board]
Jack Sparrow: And perpetually ill tempered.
[as they’re working on deck of Blackbeard’s ship]
Jack Sparrow: Five days on the way. At least!
Scrum: Aye. You can tell that by the smell of the sea?
Jack Sparrow: Smell of the crew.
[after finding Angelica serving as first mate on Blackbeard’s ship]
Angelica: There is a prophecy. Maybe you don’t believe in the super natural.
Jack Sparrow: Oh, no! No! I’ve seen a thing or two.
Angelica: The prophecy is this; Blackbeard will meet his death within a fortnight at the hands of a one legged man. That’s why he needs the fountain, Jack.
[as he suddenly falls and hangs upside down in front of Blackbeard]
Jack Sparrow: Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
Blackbeard: No need, Mr. Sparrow. They are sheep, you their shepherd.
Jack Sparrow: Have I mentioned, sir, what a lovely daughter you have?
Blackbeard: A fitting last sight for a doomed soul.
[points his gun at Jack]
Angelica: Remember father, we need him.
Blackbeard: If I don’t kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am!
Blackbeard: That knife will serve you no better than the mutiny you devised.
Jack Sparrow: Mutiny served me well. It gained me an audience with you.
Jack Sparrow: Aye. To warn you. Regarding your first mate, who pretends to be a person she is not.
Blackbeard: Do tell.
Jack Sparrow: She’s not your daughter.
Jack Sparrow: Sir, what she is, is pure evil! More to be feared than a wild beast. A hungry wild beast, with gnashing teeth. Vengeful, hungry, from hell beast!
[suddenly Angelica enters the room]
[turning to Angelica]
Jack Sparrow: Sweetness!
Angelica: No need to hurt him father. He will help us. Won’t you, Jack?
Blackbeard: You see, even now she attends to your welfare, giving lie to the claims you make of her.
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