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Starring: Michael Cera, Ricky Gervais, Samuel L. Jackson, George Takei, Gabriel Iglesias, Michelle Yeoh, Djimon Hounsou, Mel Brooks, Aasif Mandvi, Cathy Shim, Kylie Kuioka
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Animated action comedy directed by Rob Minkoff and Mark Koetsier, loosely inspired by Mel Brooks’s Blazing Saddles (1974). Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) centers on hard-on-his-luck hound, Hank (Michael Cera), who finds himself in a town full of cats who need a hero to defend them from ruthless villain Ika Chu’s (Ricky Gervais) evil plot to wipe their village off the map. With help from a reluctant teacher, Jimbo (Samuel L. Jackson), to train him, Hank must assume the role of town samurai and team up with the villagers to save the day. The only problem, cats hate dogs.
Our Favorite Quotes:'We are all the same. Look different on the outside, but we can choose for ourselves what our insides look like.' - Sumo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Ika Chu: I’ve spared no expense making this the grandest palace in the land. Imported mice to chase, fine couches to ruin. I even got the first and second largest balls of yarn in the world.
Ohga: My, you have big balls.
Ika Chu: And the crown jewel of the palace, my state-of-the-art bathroom. Behold, the future! I call it the Super Bowl. Because that’s what it is, a super bowl!
Ika Chu: What do you do when you’re a landlord, and you have tenants you really hate? You evict them.
Ohga: But the town’s been there for thousands of years.
Ika Chu: I give you an order, and you give me facts? Really?
Yuki: I know these events look dire, but we must stand on our own four legs and fight. This is our home. It is the sacred place where our kittens were born, and where we will one day join our ancestors. In a shoebox buried behind the garage.
Ichiro: What we need is a samurai.
Chuck: We still can’t find the last one. We even put up posters.
Emiko: Where did we get our old samurai?
The Shogun: Oh, well, you break the law, you pay the price. It’s not personal. It’s just business. And you know what they say, there’s no business like Shogun business.
Guard 1: You came to this country illegally. It’s strictly “no dogs allowed”. Didn’t you know? Cats hate dogs.
Hank: Wait, but dogs are lovable. How could you hate a dog?
Guard 2: My dad hated dogs, and that’s good enough for me. It’s not really based on logic. It just feels right to hate, you know?
Guard 1: Hey, makes sense to me.
Ika Chu: I’m trying to think up here! I know you’ve got a lot of prisoners to kill, but please, can you keep it down?
'The cuteness is strong with this one.' - Jimbo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Hank: Hey, can’t we just talk this out?
Guard 3: I don’t speak dog!
Hank: But wait, we’re communicating right now.
Guard 3: No, we’re not!
Hank: You just understood me!
Guard 3: No, I didn’t.
Ika Chu: I am offering to make you the new samurai of Kakamucho.
Hank: Kakamucho? What’s that?
Ika Chu: In the way.
Hank: Are you sure I’m ready to defend an entire town? Maybe I should start out as a mall samurai.
Ichiro: It’s the latest thing. It’s called a gun.
Chuck: Is it dangerous?
Ichiro: Don’t be silly. Guns don’t kill cats. Cars and curiosity kill cats.
Chuck: What’s a car?
Ichiro: Careful, you’re being curious.
Hank: Okay. Here goes nothing.
Hank: [rides past a “No Dogs Allowed” sign] Welcoming committee? Maybe this won’t be so bad. Okay. First day on the job. Make eye contact. Smile.
Chuck: It’s a dog!
Ichiro: He’s going to ruin everything!
Chuck: Let’s kill him before the new samurai arrives!
'It is not so important what you do, as it is important that you do something.' - Jimbo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Ichiro: [after they knock out Hank] Now, that’s what I call “woking” the dog!
Chuck: Yeah, because she hit that dog with a wok!
Little Mama: [to Hank] You are, number one, not a cat. Number two, you are a dog, so that goes back to you not being a cat. And C, you are definitely not a samurai, because you are a dog, and that goes back to you not being a cat! Go back where you came from, car chaser!
Chuck: Again! What’s a car?
Ichiro: Stop being curious! You’ll kill us all!
Ika Chu: Dog gammit! What kind of a world do we live in where good and upright citizens can’t be counted on to kill someone just because they look different?!
Hank: Who are you?
Jimbo: My friends call me Jimbo. And since I have no friends, I guess, you can call me Jimbo too. I guess it works either way.
Hank: Oh, and I suppose you know everything because you’re a samurai?
Jimbo: Well, I know you’re not.
Hank: Why? Because I’m a dog?
Jimbo: No. Because you’re an idiot. No real samurai would be caught dead wearing that. Is that a bathrobe? You get that from a hotel?
'Always defeats strength with smart.' - Jimbo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank Click To Tweet
Hank: Hey, is there a book? You know, an instruction manual, like “How to be a Samurai”?
Jimbo: You mean “Samurai For Dummies”?
Jimbo: No. That would be dumb.
Jimbo: You better get out there. It’s samurai time, and you’re the samurai, right?
Hank: It looks a little dangerous out there.
Jimbo: Oh, yeah. Dangerous. That’s NWA out there. Ninjas With Attitude. But you go ahead. It’ll be great. You are the samurai!
Jimbo: Interesting choice, using your face to block those punches. I wouldn’t have considered that.
Hank: Yeah, well what do you know?
Jimbo: Enough not to get my butt kicked.
Hank: I’ve got to make this samurai thing work! I have to. But first, I need to learn.
Jimbo: Sounds like you need a mentor.
Hank: Dog breath?
Jimbo: Not Mentos! Mentor! A teacher! To take you under his wing! Teach you all he knows, that kind of thing.
Hank: [referring to finding a mentor] Perhaps a once great samurai who has fallen on hard times, and maybe could use some help himself. But where would I find one? Hey, it’s you!
Jimbo: [as a neon sign with “Samurai” on it points at him] What? Get out of here! Who even made that? Don’t believe everything you read.
'You must control your fear, or fear will control you.' - Jimbo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Jimbo: There’s a lot about you that’s bothering me. Like, for instance, how you got here.
Hank: It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. I had to cross impassable seas, unclimbable mountains, and really nasty midtown traffic.
Hank: Will you train me?
Hank: Why? Because you’re so busy?
Jimbo: No. Because you’re so brainless.
Hank: But I showed you my movie! The whole flashback thing! I don’t believe it!
Jimbo: [referring to Emiko] The cuteness is strong with this one.
Jimbo: Defend yourself.
Hank: What am I supposed to do with a stick?
Jimbo: Lesson one, it is not so important what you do, as it is important that you do something. A warrior has cat-like reflexes.
Hank: I’m not a cat. I’m a dog!
Jimbo: Nobody’s perfect.
Hank: Wait. That music. Hey, this is the training montage, isn’t it? Hey, can’t we just skip ahead to the part where I’m good?
Jimbo: No. This is my favorite part. The part where you suffer.
'You should know that I am a highly trained, mostly trained warrior, skilled in the ways of karate and swordplay, as well as musical theater.' - Hank (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Jimbo: Don’t forget to land on your…
Jimbo: [Hank lands on his back] Feet.
Hank: You said you could make me a samurai.
Jimbo: I can “make” you a pizza. But I cannot make you into anything. That power is only within yourself.
'Remember, fear is only in your mind!' - Jimbo 'And a little bit in my kimono.' - Hank (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Hank: So, what happened to you? How did you go from being a samurai to a washed up loser who drinks too much catnip, has an obvious weight problem, no real friends to speak of, is pre-diabetic…
Jimbo: That’s enough!
Jimbo: There was a time I was chief bodyguard of a very important official named Toshiro Tyfune. He was a real cool cat, with greatness ahead of him.
Hank: Is this going to be a flashback?
Jimbo: Don’t interrupt me.
Hank: Because if it’s a flashback, you should really try the projector, it could really brings the thing to life.
Jimbo: I don’t need the projector. It’s an old-fashioned remembering. Now, stop interrupting!
Jimbo: Today, we begin something new. I have learned I cannot teach a dog to be a cat. What I must do is teach a dog to be a better dog.
Jimbo: The blindfold is to help you focus. Now, listen. Tell me what you hear.
Hank: I hear you talking, and moving.
Hank: I hear a bird.
Jimbo: That’s it.
Hank: I smell flowers actually.
Jimbo: Dogs have a keen sense of smell, and excellent hearing.
Hank: I hear a dragonfly. I smell wood burning. I smell tea brewing. Hey, are you making nachos? Because someone just cut the cheese.
Jimbo: [as he flaps his behind to get rid of the smell] Lesson over. Well done.
'What the mother father cocker spaniel is going on here?!' - Jimbo (Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank) Click To Tweet
Jimbo: In battle as in life, a samurai strives to maintain his balance. And always defeats strength with smart.
Jimbo: You must control your fear, or fear will control you.
Ika Chu: I’m surrounded by imbeciles. Complete morons!