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Starring: Gregory Mann, Ewan McGregor, David Bradley, Ron Perlman, Tilda Swinton, Christoph Waltz, Cate Blanchett, Tim Blake Nelson, Finn Wolfhard, John Turturro, Burn Gorman
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Netflix stop-motion animated musical fantasy directed by Guillermo del Toro and Mark Gustafson. Pinocchio (2022) is a dark, twisted retelling of the famous Carlo Collodi fairytale about a wooden puppet who comes to life and dreams of becoming a real boy. However, when Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) comes to life, he turns out not to be that nice of a boy, creating mischief and playing mean tricks, but he eventually learns a few lessons.
Our Favorite Quotes:'Lies are found out immediately because they are like long noses, visible to all but the teller of the lie. And the more you lie, the more it grows.' - Geppetto (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Cricket: By the time Master Geppetto made Pinocchio, he had already lost a son. Now this was quite a few years before my time, but I learnt the story. And then it became my story.
Cricket: Geppetto lost Carlo during the Great War. They’d been together only ten years. But it was as if Carlo had taken the old man’s life with him.
Geppetto: All good things require patience.
Cricket: [referring to Geppetto and Carlo] They wanted for nothing. All they needed was each other’s company.
Geppetto: [to Carlo] Lies, my dear boy, are found out immediately because they are like long noses, visible to all but the teller of the lie. And the more you lie, the more it grows.
Geppetto: When one life is lost, another must grow.
Cricket: [after Carlo is killed by a falling bomb in the church] Geppetto never left his side. And that was that. He worked very little. He ate even less. And the church’s crucifix remained unfinished. The years passed. The world moved on, but Geppetto did not.
Cricket: And this is where I come in. You see, I was a writer. And for years, I’d been looking for the ideal conditions to set my illustrious, fascinating life story to paper. Until, at long last, I found it. My sanctuary. Home. Here I could write my memoirs. And what a tale it would be. I had lived in a barrister’s fireplace in Sardinia, sailed on the Adriatic in a fishing boat, nested one Perugian winter with an acclaimed sculptor. Stridulations of My Youth by Sebastian J. Cricket.
'In this world, you get what you give.' - Wood Sprite (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Geppetto: I dreamed of you, Carlo. I dreamed you were right back here with me. My son. If only I could have you back.
Cricket: I watched the old man weep. And it moved me. And it turns out that I wasn’t the only one watching him. In my many wanderings on this earth, I’ve learned that there are old spirits living in the mountains, in the forests, who rarely involve themselves in the human world. But on occasion, they do.
Geppetto: I want you back, Carlo. Right here! With me! Why won’t you listen to my prayers? Why?
Cricket: [as Geppetto is cutting down the tree he’s living in] What in my antennae?
Cricket: It’s a house of horrors!
'You must try your best, and that's the best anybody can do.' - Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Wood Sprite: Little wooden boy, may you rise with the sun and walk the earth.
Cricket: Excuse me. Can I help you? This is my home we’re talking about. May I ask, who on earth are you?
Wood Sprite: On earth? A guardian. I care for the little things, the forgotten things, the lost ones.
Cricket: Well, I am Sebastian J. Cricket, homeowner. And I have every right to be consulted about your schemes and machinations regarding my property.
Wood Sprite: Well, since you already live in the heart of the wooden boy, perhaps you can help me.
Cricket: Help you what?
Wood Sprite: To watch over him. Guide him to be good.
Cricket: I’m not a governess, madam. I’m a novelist, a raconteur, currently immersed in writing my memoirs.
Wood Sprite: Well, in this world, you get what you give.
Wood Sprite: Take on this responsibility, and I will grant you one wish.
Cricket: And that could be anything? Anything at all? The publication of my book? Fame? Fortune?
Wood Sprite: Anything.
Cricket: Oh. Maybe I can help. I’ll try my best, and that’s the best anyone can do. That’s rather clever, isn’t it?
'What's a burden?' - Pinocchio, 'It's something painful you must carry, even though it hurts you very much.' - Cricket Click To Tweet
Wood Sprite: Little wooden boy made of pine, we shall call you Pinocchio. May you rise with the sun, and wander the earth, and bring joy and company to that poor heartbroken man. Be his son. Fill his days with light so he’ll never be alone.
Geppetto: What is this? What kind of sorcery?
Pinocchio: You wanted me to live. You asked for me to live.
Geppetto: Who are you?
Pinocchio: My name is Pinocchio! I’m your son!
Geppetto: You are not my son! Don’t come near me!
Cricket: You must obey your papa.
Cricket: To do as you’re told!
Pinocchio: But I don’t want to obey!
Cricket: Well, you must try your best, and that’s the best anybody can do.
Geppetto: It’s a puppet to entertain!
Candlewick: If he’s a puppet, where are his strings?
Podesta: That’s true. Who controls you, wooden boy?
Geppetto: Of course, I control him.
Pinocchio: Who controls you?
Geppetto: He’s a puppet. Just a puppet!
Pinocchio: No, I’m not. I’m made of flesh, and bone, and meaty bits! I’m a real boy!
'The one thing that makes human life precious and meaningful, you see, is how brief it is.' - Death (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Pinocchio: Papa, why did my nose grow today?
Geppetto: You lied, Pinocchio. And a lie is plain to see as your nose.
Pinocchio: And the more you lie, the more it grows.
Podesta: This abnormal boy lacks discipline. But he seems strong, sturdy, made of good Italian pine.
Geppetto: Oh, very good pine, yes. Not perfect, you see, but he means well.
Pinocchio: Look! I’m on fire! Yay!
Pinocchio: Who’s Carlo?
Cricket: Carlo was a boy. Geppetto lost him many years ago.
Pinocchio: Where did he put him? How can you lose a whole person?
Cricket: I mean, he died, Pinocchio. He’s no longer alive.
Pinocchio: Is that a bad thing?
Cricket: Yes. It’s a great burden for a father to lose a child so young.
Pinocchio: What’s a burden?
Cricket: It’s something painful you must carry, even though it hurts you very much.
'Sometimes fathers feel despair like everybody else. And they say things, things they only think they mean in the moment. But with time, they learn that they never really meant it at all.' - Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Cricket: I wrote a lot that night. I had so much to say. Not about my own life, for a change, but about imperfect fathers and imperfect sons. And about loss and love. And for that one evening, at least, we were, all of us, blissfully oblivious.
Count Volpe: A living puppet? Are you absolutely sure? This could get us to the top again! This could make us kings again!
Geppetto: [to Pinocchio] People are sometimes afraid of things they don’t know. But they’ll get to know you and like you.
'Life can bring great suffering. And eternal life can bring eternal suffering.' - Death (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Pinocchio: [to Geppetto] Then I will be just like Carlo! I will obey and go to school, and I’ll be the very, very best at whatever they do there. I’ll make you proud!
Count Volpe: Ah! We have found him! Look, Spazzatura! Our miracle! Our sensation! Our star!
Pinocchio: Who? Me?
Count Volpe: Yes, mon etoile! I am Count Volpe! You have been chosen! Come partake in the fun, fanciful, carefree carnival life as the star of my puppet show!
'You never know how long you have with someone until they're gone.' - Death (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Count Volpe: I can see you’re intrinsically an intellectual! But then now, book learning cannot compare to witnessing the wide world with one’s own eyes from atop the glorious stage. You shall see all of the nations of the earth for yourself as they bow at your feet.
Pinocchio: My brand new feet!
Cricket: [as he gets smashed by a book] Oh, the pain. Life is such hideous pain.
'What happens, happens. And then, we are gone.' - Cricket (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Podesta: Obviously, the puppet is quite a dissident. An independent thinker, I’d say.
Pinocchio: I don’t like being called a puppet.
Count Volpe: My boy. Puppets are le meilleur qui soit! The tops! Lift your arm. Puppets are well respected in every station of life.
Pinocchio: But I thought it was best to be a normal boy.
Count Volpe: Oh, no, no, no. People love puppets.
'My child. I was trying to make you someone you were not. So don't be Carlo, or anyone else. Be exactly who you are. I love you exactly as you are.' - Geppetto (Pinocchio) Click To Tweet
Count Volpe: You are a wonder. A miracle. They’ll love you!
Count Volpe: Les Idiots! The wonderful children of the world. Lift your leg. Everyone shall love you and call your name. Pinocchio. Pinocchio! Pinocchio!