Puss in Boots (2011) Best Quotes

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Bob Thornton, Amy Sedaris, Constance Marie, Guillermo del Toro, Rich Dietl, Ryan Crego, Tom Wheeler, Conrad Vernon, Tom McGrath

OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆

Story:

Animated action adventure directed by Chris Miller. Puss in Boots (2011) follows Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) long before he met Shrek, when Puss is run out of town on suspicion of bank robbery, even though the real villain is his friend, Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianakis). Later, while trying to steal magic beans from the infamous criminals Jack and Jill, Puss crosses paths with his female match, Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek), who leads Puss to his old friend, but now enemy, Humpty Dumpty. Though there is still animosity between them, Puss and Humpty reunite to steal a goose that lays golden eggs. Together, the three plan to steal the beans, get to the Giant’s castle, take the golden goose, and clear Puss’s name.

Our Favorite Quote:

'It is never too late to do the right thing.' - Puss in Boots Click To Tweet

Best Quotes

Puss in Boots: Through the years I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Chupa Cabra, Frisky Two Times and then The Gingerhead man. But to most I am Puss in Boots, outlaw!

Puss in Boots: I will never forget you, Margarita.I mean, Rosa. Sorry. I think maybe I should go.

Puss in Boots: What can I say? I was a bad kitty. Just a fugitive from the law, forever running. Searching for a way to clear my name. And I would get that chance on this one fateful night.

Bar Patron: [as Puss enters the bar] Raoul, look what the cat dragged in. Oh, wait! That is the cat!
Puss in Boots: Bottle of leche, please.
Bartender: What are you doing here, Senor? Did you lose your ball of yarn?
Puss in Boots: So funny.
Bartender: One leche coming up.

Puss in Boots: I am not looking for trouble. I am but a humble gato in search of his next meal. Perhaps you gentlemen can let me find a simple score.
Moustache Man: [he holds up Puss’s bounty poster] The only thing you’ll find tonight is trouble, Puss in Boots.

Puss in Boots: You made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!

Bar Thief: What about Jack and Jill?
Luis: Shh! Are you crazy?
Puss in Boots: The what?
Moustache Man: The murderous outlaws, Jack and Jill, have gotten their hands on magic beans.
Puss in Boots: Do not joke with me about magic beans! I searched half my life for them. They do not exist.
Luis: No, cat. We have seen them.

Jack: Why don’t we cut down on some of the hijacking and murdering. I mean it’s fun and all, but uh, I want to have a baby.
Jill: A baby what, Jack?
Jack: A baby us, Jill. We’ll raise it wild, like a squirrel or something.

Puss in Boots: [to the masked cat]Those magic beans were my score. You just caused me a chance of getting the golden eggs, mi amigo. Put up your paws up.

Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!

Kitty Softpaws: You hit me in the head with a guitar!
Puss in Boots: You are a woman? Woh!
Kitty Softpaws: Amateur!
Puss in Boots: Wow! Senorita, wait! Let me buy you some leche! I am a lover not a fighter.

Puss in Boots: [as he’s looking for Kitty in the dark alley] Hello? You are hiding from me? I like to play the games too. I sense in you a kindred spirit. I smell something familiar, something dangerous, something breakfasty.
Humpty Dumpty: It’s been a long time, brother.
Puss in Boots: Humpty Alexander Dumpty. How dare you show your face to me!
Humpty Dumpty: I know you’re angry. You have every right. But it is good to see you, Puss.

Humpty Dumpty: Are those new boots?
Puss in Boots: No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.
Humpty Dumpty: Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers! They wrote a song about it!

Puss in Boots: I had the magic beans in my grasp and you sent this very attractive devil woman to interfere. You are a curse on my life!
Humpty Dumpty: Woh! Woh! Wait! Here me out, okay? Yes, yes! I sent Kitty to bring you here. But she is no ordinary thief.
Humpty Dumpty: [Kitty takes off her gloves to reveal she has no claws] She’s Kitty Softpaws. The softest touch in Spain.
Kitty Softpaws: [as she steals Puss’s boots] That’s a lot of heel for a guy, don’t you think?

Humpty Dumpty: Look, with Kitty’s skill, your sword, and my brain, we’ve got a fighting chance here. Puss, come on. You of all people know that nobody is ever ripped off the giant’s castle and lived to tell the tale. You want to survive, you need a plan. And I’ve studied this job my whole life, you know that. Alright, let’s be honest, without me you don’t even know where to plant the beans, Puss. But Jack and Jill do, they’re on their way. We go up the beanstalk outlaws and we come down legends. So what do you say? Partner?
Puss in Boots: No, never again.
Humpty Dumpty: I’m sorry, okay? How long are you going to hold a grudge? It’s been seven years! That’s like thirty five cat years! You need me! And I need you, Puss.

Humpty Dumpty: You got any idea what they do to eggs in San Ricardo prison? I’ll tell you this, my friend. It ain’t over-easy!
Ohhh Cat: Ohhh!

Kitty Softpaws: So, you’re in?
Puss in Boots: Well there is one teeny tiny iddy biddy problem.
Kitty Softpaws: And what is that?
Puss in Boots: You work for the egg!

Kitty Softpaws: Oh, come on, Puss! What happened between you and Humpty that was so bad?
Puss in Boots: I am afraid with me and Humpty the scars are too deep. It all started a long time ago.
Kitty Softpaws: Oh, no! No! No! No! You really don’t have to tell me your whole life story, please!
Puss in Boots: You may want to sit. It is at times quite painful.
Kitty Softpaws: Okay, here we go.

Puss in Boots: [flashback story of how he met Humpty] Even though he took my beans, the egg stood up for me and I decided that I would always have his back. It was something about this strange little egg that intrigued me.

Humpty Dumpty: [he and baby Puss are looking up at the sky] Oh, when I find those magic beans, they’ll grow a vine straight up into the clouds where a terrible and a fearsome giant hoards his greatest treasure, the golden goose. Oh, the golden goose. Just one, just one of her golden eggs could set me for life. It’s my destiny, Puss. I can’t really explain it, but I just feel like I belong up there.
Humpty Dumpty: [he sighs and Puss sighs along with him]Well, this is awkward. This is kind of, uh, a solo dream here. I don’t really need a dead weight, you know? Hold me down.

Humpty Dumpty: [as Puss turns is making big cute eyes at him] What are you doing? Oh man, that’s good. The eye thing that you’re doing, that is really splendid. Okay, let me just think for a second, alright? Okay, this is crazy but I am considering a partnership. I just need to know one thing. Can you commit?
Puss in Boots: Si, I can commit.
Humpty Dumpty: Oh, you can talk!

Humpty Dumpty: First rule of bean club, you do not talk about bean club. Second rule of bean club, you don’t talk about bean club.You ready?
Puss in Boots: Ready.
Humpty Dumpty: From this day forth, it shall be known.
Puss in Boots: Never alone, always together.
Humpty Dumpty: Humpty and Puss. Brothers forever.

Puss in Boots: And from that moment on we were united on a great adventure to find the magic beans. Humpty was the brains and I was the skill.

Humpty Dumpty: Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans. But no magic beans.
Puss in Boots: Would you care for a jelly bean?
Humpty Dumpty: Oh, thank you.

Puss in Boots: [referring to the magic beans] Finding them meant everything to us. But we never did find them. And as the years passed, the quest for magic beans seemed more and more like a dreams of a child.

Puss in Boots: How strange it was to be a cat in boots, but, woh, I look good! And as the light of my path grew brighter, Humpty’s road grew ever darker.

Puss in Boots: [flashback of when he bails Humpty out of jail] This is our home, these people have done nothing to us.
Humpty Dumpty: Our home? Okay, yeah. I get it now. You get some fancy boots and now you’re too good for me?
Puss in Boots: That is not true.
Humpty Dumpty: We weren’t born here. We’re orphans and all we got is each other. You understand?
Puss in Boots: We are better than this.
Humpty Dumpty: But we’re partners.
Puss in Boots: We are brothers. But I am not stealing anymore.

Puss in Boots: [flashback of when Humpty deceives him into helping him rob the bank] You tricked me!
Humpty Dumpty: I had too! You left me no choice!

Humpty Dumpty: Puss, save me!
Puss in Boots: Save yourself.

Puss in Boots: I lost everything I cared about that day. My brother, my honor, my home. All I thought about was the disappointment in my mama’s eyes. And I have been running ever since.

See more Puss in Boots Quotes

Puss in Boots: The egg betrayed me. His lies cost me everything.
Puss in Boots: [sees Kitty is asleep, snoring loudly] Hey!
Kitty Softpaws: I’m awake!

Humpty Dumpty: Listen, a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about what I lost. I lost my best friend, my only friend. And I get it now, I got greedy, and desperate, and I let you down, I let myself down. All I’m asking for, Puss, is a second chance. Give me that second chance, and I’ll help repay you back San Ricardo. Please, Puss. Let me show you what our friendship mean to me.
Puss in Boots: I will do it.
Humpty Dumpty: Oh, that’s great.
Puss in Boots: I will do this for my mother and for San Ricardo, not for you. We are not partners and we’re not friends.
Humpty Dumpty: Okay and I promise this time I will not let you down. Yes! I think we got our bean club back!

Puss in Boots: Again with the mask?
Kitty Softpaws: I don’t need style advice from Mr. Dusty Boots.

Jack: Our biological clocks are ticking, darling. You got to start looking at the big picture.
Jill: Listen, I put a lot of work into my body. I look good, and I am not just going to throw it away.

Jill: Is it true, a cat always lands on its feet?
Puss in Boots: No! That is just a rumor spread by dogs!
Jill: Well let’s find out.

Kitty Softpaws: I am called Kitty Softpaws because I’ll steal you blind, and you’ll never even know I was there.
Puss in Boots: [as Kitty holds up his money sack that she’s stolen from inside his boot] Kitty, you’re not as good as they say. You’re better. I will respect your privacy.

Kitty Softpaws: I was just a stray, but I had beautiful claws. One day a really nice couple took me in, gave me milk every morning, loved me. Maybe I scratched her curtains, or play too rough with the hamster. I don’t know why they did it, but they took my claws.
Puss in Boots: Cat people are crazy.

Kitty Softpaws: [after they’ve planted the magic beans but only a small bean sprouts up] Okay. Okay. Let’s not panic. You know I read somewhere that plants have feelings. So, come on. Say something nice to it.
Humpty Dumpty: Okay. Let me just think for a second. Hi, little plant.
[suddenly the plant shoots up and grows all the way to the sky]

Humpty Dumpty: [as they play in the clouds] Somewhere down there, there are two little kids. I don’t know, maybe orphans, and they’re lying on a hill staring at the clouds dreaming about the future. That was me and you, Puss. Me and you.

Humpty Dumpty: The giant’s castle! Okay, time to suit up.
Puss in Boots: Humpty!
Humpty Dumpty: [as he changes into a golden suit] I’ll fit right in with the golden eggs. Brilliant or what, huh?
Kitty Softpaws: Humpty, you’re not wearing underwear!
Humpty Dumpty: What? Are you embarrassed? I’m not. Puss, remember when everyone was laughing at bean club? And who is laughing now? We are!

Puss in Boots: So here is the plan. You two get the golden eggs, I will fight the giant.
Humpty Dumpty: There’s no giant to fight. The giant’s been dead for years.
Puss in Boots: What?
Humpty Dumpty: You didn’t do the reading, did you? Oh, boy! Jack and the beanstalk, chapter fourteen. Giant takes a big dirt nap.

Humpty Dumpty: Follow me and keep quite.
Kitty Softpaws: [as Humpty’s suit keeps squeaking loudly] Shh! Humpty!
Humpty Dumpty: I can’t help it! Everything’s rubbing and pinching. I need powder!

Puss in Boots: [as they hear the giant monster waking up] Do not worry. I will protect you.
Kitty Softpaws: What are you going to do? Hit it in the head with a guitar?
Puss in Boots: Please, stop bringing up the guitar.

Humpty Dumpty: Look at this! It’s egg paradise! Oh, it’s so beautiful. I feel like I belong here.

Humpty Dumpty: Let’s just take her.
Puss in Boots: Wait a minute! This is the goose of legend. We don’t know what happens if we take her.
Humpty Dumpty: I know what happens if we don’t take her, we got nothing!
Kitty Softpaws: Guys! Guys! It’s a gold pooper! We’re taking it!

Jill: [as Jack is putting a nappy on a piglet] Look at that! You finally got that family you wanted, Jack.
Jack: [to the piglet You here that? I think it just called me daddy.
Jill: Oh! He looks just like you, Jack.
Jack: Thank you.

Puss in Boots: There is one word for you, Kitty Softpaws. Me-wow!
Kitty Softpaws: I know you have quite a reputation with the ladies, Mr. Frisky Two Times.
Puss in Boots: I’ve also been knowns as The Fury Lover! But that was before I met you.
Kitty Softpaws: You don’t know me, Puss. I’m not who you think I am. I’m all about the score.
Puss in Boots: Come on! Look me in the eyes and tell me all you care about is the gold?
Kitty Softpaws: Puss.
Puss in Boots: Kitty.
[as he’s about to kiss Kitty, suddenly Humpty interrupts them]

Humpty Dumpty: [to Kitty, referring to Puss] Do not fall for his animal magnetism! Stay focused.

Kitty Softpaws: I’m calling it a night, guys.
Puss in Boots: Kitty, stay up with us.
Kitty Softpaws: No, I feel a .hairball coming on.
Humpty Dumpty: Okay. Yeah! Have fun with that! We should give her some privacy.

Humpty Dumpty: What do you, what do you want? Gold? I have gold!
Jill: Jack, egg’s trying to bribe us.
Jack: Hah, with our own gold.
Jill: Come on now. All we want is a little breakfast.
Humpty Dumpty: No! No! No! Please!
Jack: How do you like your eggs, pumpkin?

Puss in Boots: What is going on?
Humpty Dumpty: It’s a surprise party and the surprise is on you!
Jill: Looks like cat’s out of the bag.
Puss in Boots: You were in cahoots?
Humpty Dumpty: Oh, yeah! They all work for me. I spend a lot of time in the prison preparing for this.
Puss in Boots: You set me up?
Humpty Dumpty: Oh, yeah! Set you up? Of course! You think this was all about getting the gold and clearing your name? This little adventure was about one thing. Revenge! You never knew it, Puss. But I was always there.

Humpty Dumpty: You wanted to repay and old debt, Puss? Well so did I.
Puss in Boots: Why would you do this?
Humpty Dumpty: You left me on that bridge! You abandoned me when I needed you the most. What happened to brothers forever?
Puss in Boots: I trusted you!
Humpty Dumpty: Well now you’re finally going to know what it feels like. You know? To trust someone and have them stab you in the back!

Comandate: Puss in Boots, you are under arrest for the robbery of the San Ricardo bank!
Humpty Dumpty: Consider this the final meeting of bean club.
Puss in Boots: I should scramble you with onions!

Comandate: [taking Puss’s possessions] One hat. One belt. And two boots. Once a symbol of honor. One bottle of catnap!
Puss in Boots: It is for my glaucoma.

Andy Beanstalk: [in jail] It looks like the egg got what he wanted.
Puss in Boots: You talking about Humpty?
Andy Beanstalk: Ublee, ublee, umm! Don’t say his name! I used to share this cell with that smelly thing. Happiest day of my life was when he left, till I realized he stole my magic beans.
Puss in Boots: Wait! Wait! Wait! You had the beans? Who are you? Hey! What’s your name?
Andy Beanstalk: [wakes up] Andy Beanstalk, my parents call me Jack. I traded the family cow for them beans. Of course it wasn’t my family’s cow, some others family’s family cow. That’s why I got eight to ten year. Always know which cow’s you’re…
Puss in Boots: [as Andy falls asleep again snoring loudly] Crazy man! Wake up!

Puss in Boots: What else do you know?
Andy Beanstalk: We’re all goners! Thanks to that little stinky! I told him! I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge.
Puss in Boots: Don’t take the goose. Why?
Andy Beanstalk: The Great Terror! That’s the golden goose’s mom.
Puss in Boots: Oh, no.
Andy Beanstalk: And she will be out for blood when she comes back for her baby.

Puss in Boots: [after she’s helped Puss escape from jail] I don’t really have time for you. I have to save the town from The Great Terror.
Kitty Softpaws: Wait, Puss! Don’t you see, I’m here because, I am here because you made me realize that there is something I can care about more than gold.
Puss in Boots: Something?
Kitty Softpaws: Okay, someone. He’s about two feet tall, wears high heels.
Puss in Boots: Handsome?
Kitty Softpaws: He’s very handsome.
Puss in Boots: A real beefcake?
Kitty Softpaws: Mm-hmm.
Puss in Boots: A stallion?
Kitty Softpaws: Yes.
Puss in Boots: Tiger?
Kitty Softpaws: Oh, brother!
Puss in Boots: But, this does not make us even.

Puss in Boots: I saved you. You owed me one. You didn’t tell me about Humpty. So now you owe me two.
Kitty Softpaws: Oh, you are a lot of work.
Puss in Boots: I know. But I am worth it!

Puss in Boots: I shall make you into an egg salad sandwich!
Humpty Dumpty: Aah! That is disgusting!

Puss in Boots: Revenge on me is one thing, but why Imelda? Why the orphanage? This is our home.
Humpty Dumpty: You mean your home. I never belonged here. We had a plan to get out of here, but then you became a hero, and you picked this place over me. You left me with nothing.
Puss in Boots: Humpty, I’m sorry I hurt you. But do not take it out on these people. You are better than this.
Humpty Dumpty: No, I’m not.
Puss in Boots: Oh, come on! I know the real Humpty. The way you saw the world, the inventor, the dreamer. What happened to that guy?

Humpty Dumpty: I think it’s too late.
Puss in Boots: It is never too late to do the right thing. Together we can save San Ricardo.

Puss in Boots: I can forgive you, Humpty, if you help me now.
Humpty Dumpty: Really? After everything I put you through.
Puss in Boots: Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.
Humpty Dumpty: I’ll try.

Humpty Dumpty: I’m sorry, Puss. I’ve made a mess out of everything. I’m a rotten egg! I’m not, I’m not a person, I’m not a bird, I’m not even a food. I don’t know what I am.
Puss in Boots: You are what you have always been, my brother.
Humpty Dumpty: Brothers forever.

Humpty Dumpty: You can’t save us both.
Puss in Boots: Yes, I can. Just hang on.
Humpty Dumpty: Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do.
Puss in Boots: I will not let you go, Humpty.
Humpty Dumpty: I know you won’t, so I won’t make you choose.
Puss in Boots: [suddenly Humpty let’s go of the rope, falling] Humpty!

Imelda: I am so proud of you, my son. Today you faced the past with bravery and honor. You earned those boots and the people know that you are San Ricardo’s greatest hero.
Puss in Boots: I did it for you, mama.
Imelda: You will always be in my heart.
Puss in Boots: And you in mine.

Puss in Boots: I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws.
Kitty Softpaws: Sooner than you think.
Puss in Boots: [looks down to see his boots are missing and sees Kitty holds up his boots] She is a bad kitty.
[she blows him a kiss and goes off]

Puss in Boots: This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice and a lover of beautiful women. A great, great lover. Really, it is crazy. I am Puss in Boots! And my name would become legend.

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