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Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Gal Gadot
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Netflix action comedy written and directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber. Set in the world of international crime, Red Notice (2021) follows FBI’s top profiler, John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson), who is tasked with capturing the most wanted art thieves in the world, Nolan Booth (Ryan Reynolds), and Sarah Black (Gal Gadot).
Our Favorite Quotes:'You can have excuses, or results. Not both.' - The Bishop (Red Notice) Click To Tweet
Inspector Urvashi Das: This is Special Agent John Hartley of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. He’s a consulting profiler who specializes in art crime.
Security Chief Ricci: You don’t look like a profiler.
John Hartley: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Director Gallo: The Bishop is nothing more than a boogeyman story in the art world. It’s a catch-all concept. It’s someone to blame when people like you and your friends in law enforcement are too incompetent to solve the case.
Nolan Booth: [to Hartley] Jesus, you scared me. I know you. You’re the slow bald guy that’s been chasing me.
John Hartley: Put your hands behind your back. You’re under arrest.
Nolan Booth: Okay. Well, hold on one sec. I just have two questions. Okay. First question. Where did you get that jacket? It’s a statement piece. Somewhere there is a very nude cow whispering, “Worth it.”
Nolan Booth: You’re putting me in bit of a pickle with this. Because without proper identification, how do I know who you are? For all I know, you could be the bad guy, and I could be the other bad guy.
John Hartley: You’re right. I am the bad guy. Now shut up and give me the bag, before I shoot you in the mouth.
Inspector Urvashi Das: Because you’re wanted in eighteen separate countries, I get to choose which one of them detains you until trial, given your escape history. What are you, six for six now?
Nolan Booth: Yeah. One more and I get a Shawshank jacket.
Inspector Urvashi Das: Keep making your jokes, because I’m about to send you to the worst place in the world.
Nolan Booth: Your Instagram account?
John Hartley: Maybe I don’t know you, but I’ve been building a profile on you, ever since you stole William Strang’s Lady with a Red Hat from the Tate back in 2014.
Nolan Booth: You can’t prove that was me.
[Hartley looks over to the painting hanging on the wall]
Nolan Booth: I got that on Etsy.
John Hartley: You like to work alone. You don’t like a team. The only jobs you take are the ones that make the big, splashy headlines. Which tells me that you only do it for the thrill and not the money.
Nolan Booth: Are you insane? I love the money.
John Hartley: It’s as though you want to get caught so you can escape, just to prove yourself all over again, and prove that you’re better than everybody else, and that you’re worthy.
Nolan Booth: Worthy of what? This speech?
John Hartley: Your father’s love.
John Hartley: Booth, I’m curious. How does it feel to be sold out by the most wanted art thief in the world?
Nolan Booth: I’m the most wanted art thief in the world.
John Hartley: You were.
Nolan Booth: [after Hartley’s locked up in prison] You a top or a bottom? Doesn’t matter. Prison’s going to decide for us.
John Hartley: You got to be s**tting me.
Nolan Booth: You can’t run a con without gaining the mark’s trust first, that’s page one.
John Hartley: I know how a confidence scheme works, trust me.
Nolan Booth: Well, you do now, that’s for sure. So the same mystery thief who ratted me out is the same one who framed you. That seems like a bit of a coincidence, don’t you think?
John Hartley: This is not a coincidence. This is a plan.
John Hartley: In one move, The Bishop took out her lead competitor and her lead investigator. Two birds, one stone.
Nolan Booth: Egg.
John Hartley: What?
Nolan Booth: Two birds, one egg. It’s kind of a lay-up. Even Post Malone gets it.
'It doesn't matter what you do. It only matters what they think you've done.' - Nolan Booth (Red Notice) Click To Tweet
Nolan Booth: I mean, these people are horrible. But I like money, so.
Nolan Booth: Sotto Voce is super scary. But he’s not above having a good time. Throws a masquerade party every year for his top buyers in his I-probably-have-a-tiny-p**is villa
in Valencia. Gunrunners are a little touchy about their identity. So the Eyes Wide Shut thing takes the edge off for everyone.
Nolan Booth: [to Hartley] These guys here, if they find out you’re a C-O-P… This is a room full of convicted murderers and toilet vodka enthusiasts. We got to make sure they know you’re not a cop.
Nolan Booth: [to the prisoners] This is our good friend, Special Agent John Hartley. Let’s give him a warm welcome to the prison, guys.
Nolan Booth: [to Hartley] You should get up. You look like a little b**ch right now. I say that as a friend.
Nolan Booth: [to Hartley] God. All that working out. You still get your a** spanked by a toothless man with tuberculosis.
Nolan Booth: You’re the captain? You might benefit from a little career change. I mean, I don’t think runway, but definitely regional catalog work, fliers.
John Hartley: She’s The Bishop.
Nolan Booth: No s**t, dipd**k!
The Bishop: It’s so nice to finally meet you, Mr. Booth. Such a thrill to be face-to-face with the second-best art thief in the world.
Nolan Booth: Oh, I see what you did there.
Nolan Booth: Yeah, you got lucky a couple of times early on, you know? But you can’t name one time in the past year that you beat me.
The Bishop: Helsinki.
Nolan Booth: My parachute failed.
The Bishop: Jakarta.
Nolan Booth: My Segway sank.
The Bishop: Macau.
Nolan Booth: Nobody knew that Miley Cyrus was going to be there. It was a completely unannounced show.
The Bishop: You can have excuses, or results. Not both.
'All that working out. You still get your a** spanked by a toothless man with tuberculosis. - Nolan Booth (Red Notice) Click To Tweet
The Bishop: A few clever keystrokes, and a well-timed call intercept. And poof. Bye-bye, Agent John Hartley. Hello, suspicious suspect. Funny, don’t you think?
The Bishop: Your cellmate here knows exactly where the third egg is.
Nolan Booth: She’s lying. I do not know where the third egg is. I swear to God.
Nolan Booth: [Bishop plays Booth’s recorded voice] “I know where the third egg is. I swear to God.” Yes, that is me. Scratch that. That was me. I did say that.
John Hartley: If we work together to catch her, I could do things to The Bishop you can’t do.
Nolan Booth: There’s no need to be disgusting.
John Hartley: [referring to the rock] Are you carrying your side?
Nolan Booth: I’m offended that you’d even ask me that.
John Hartley: Do something. It’s slipping.
Nolan Booth: Oh, relax, baldylocks.
Nolan Booth: Teamwork. Team. Team. Team. It feels weird in my mouth. It does.