Starring: Zac Efron, Gina Rodriguez, Will Forte, Amanda Seyfried, Kiersey Clemons, Jason Isaacs, Ken Jeong, Tracy Morgan, Mark Wahlberg, Frank Welker
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Story:
Animated adventure comedy directed by Tony Cervone. The story follows when a young Scooby (Frank Welker) and Shaggy (Will Forte) first meet, and team up with Daphne (Amanda Seyfried), Velma (Gina Rodriguez) and Fred (Zac Efron) to launch Mystery Incorporated. We then follow the gang as they face their most challenging mystery ever, a plot to unleash the ghost dog Cerberus upon the world. As they race to stop this dogpocalypse, the gang discovers that Scooby has an epic destiny greater than anyone imagined.
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[you Shaggy is listening to a podcast] Ira Glass: Hello, I’m Ira Glass. Welcome to another episode of my new podcast, “Friends, Who Needs Them? You Do.” This week’s challenge, put yourself out there. When the hand of friendship is offered to you, take it. You can do it. Now, go. Make some friends.
[referring to Scooby] Cop: This mangy stray’s done enough damage for today. He’s coming with me. Young Shaggy: He’s not a stray! Cop: Is he your dog? Young Shaggy: He is like totally mine. [whispers to Scooby] Young Shaggy: If you want to be. Young Scooby-Doo: I’d like that very much. Cop: Okay, then. What’s his name? [quietly to Shaggy] Young Scooby-Doo: I don’t have one. Young Shaggy: [nervously] His name’s… [he looks down and sees a box of cookies called “Scooby Snacks”] Young Shaggy: Snacks! Cop: What?! Young Scooby-Doo: Snacks? Young Shaggy: Uh, I mean Scooby! Cop: Middle name? Young Shaggy: Dooby? Cop: Last name. [pauses] Young Shaggy: Doo! Cop: Alright. If the dog has a middle name, there’s no punishment for damages or theft. I don’t like it, but them’s the laws.
[after young Shaggy takes Scooby to his home and shows him his bed] Young Scooby-Doo: I’ve never had a bed before. In fact, I’ve never had anything before. Young Shaggy: I ran out this afternoon, and I got something for you. I know we just met, and I didn’t want to seem too desperate, or, you know, come on too strong, but… [Shaggy shows Scooby his dog leash with the letters SD on it] Young Scooby-Doo: I love it. [Shaggy puts the collar around his neck] Young Scooby-Doo: I promise, I’ll never take it off. [they hug]
[after some kids take their Halloween candy] Young Shaggy: We worked hard for that free candy. Chad: This stuff will rot your teeth! Chet: Yeah. Don’t you know Halloween is just a marketing ploy by Big Corn Syrup? Young Scooby-Doo: Yeah, we’re okay with that. [Chet throws the bag of candy into the abandoned house] Chet: Your blood sugar will thank us.
[after they’ve met; referring to her Halloween costume] Young Shaggy: And are you Harry Potter? Young Velma: I’m Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Obviously. Young Shaggy: Which house is she in? Hufflepuff? Young Velma: She’s a Supreme Court justice. Young Shaggy: Oh. Slytherin.
[referring to Mr. Rigby’s stash of stolen items] Young Shaggy: Uh, guys? I think we just found the world’s smallest Walmart.
Velma Dinkley: It’s time to turn Mystery Inc. into a real business. Shaggy Rogers: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Daphne Blake: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Scooby-Doo: I handle our accounting.
Velma Dinkley: Fortunately, we found a possible investor. [just then Simon Cowell joins them at their table] Simon Cowell: Oh, whoopee. A diner. I’ll have a napkin, and some hand sanitizer.
[after Shaggy and Scooby sing for him] Simon Cowell: Uh, congratulations, gentlemen. You are terrible. Fred Jones: How does he do that? See, he’s mean, but he makes it fun.
Simon Cowell: Every successful group requires hard work and determination. Identifying potential is what I do, and you have got it. Fred, you’re the tank. The muscle. Fred Jones: Cool. Simon Cowell: Daphne is the people person. The empath. Daphne Blake: Aw. Simon Cowell: And Velma’s got the smarts, and technical savvy. Velma Dinkley: Thanks.
[to Shaggy and Scooby] Simon Cowell: But you two aren’t even listening. You’re eating a clownishly oversized sandwich. Shaggy Rogers: Like, sorry, man. You lost us at, “Hard work and determination.” Scooby-Doo: But you got us back at, “Sandwich.”
Simon Cowell: Look, a group can only be as strong as its weakest links. Bottom line, I can’t invest with these two involved. Daphne Blake: But, Mr. Cowell, Shaggy and Scooby are our best friends. Shaggy Rogers: Yeah, and like, what’s more valuable than friendship? Simon Cowell: Literally, anything. You can’t count on friendship. People change. And when you get into real trouble, friendship won’t save the day. Shaggy Rogers: Like, we don’t need this, Scoob. Let’s bounce. Scooby-Doo: Yeah, we know when we’re not wanted. [they get up to and start to leave] Daphne Blake: No. Wait. Fred Jones: Come on, guys. Velma Dinkley: He didn’t mean it. [Scooby returns and takes the basket of fries from the table] Scooby-Doo: No fries for you. Hm!
[as they’re playing bowling] Shaggy Rogers: You believe the nerve of that dude? Simon Cowell thinks friendship won’t save the day. Scooby-Doo: What does he know? Shaggy Rogers: Yeah, he’s not that smart. Just sounds like it, because he’s British. Scooby-Doo: Good point, Raggy. Shaggy Rogers: As long as we have each other, we’ll be just fine on our own. Scooby-Doo: Right.
[as they’re being attacked by the shape-shifting robots] Shaggy Rogers: No offense, but I think I liked you better as a bowling ball! Scooby-Doo: Me too!
[holding onto each other as they’re being attacked by the robots] Shaggy Rogers: Looks like this is goodbye, old buddy. Scooby-Doo: We never saw Paris.
Shaggy Rogers: Dude, hang on. Do you realize where we are? Scooby-Doo: No. Shaggy Rogers: Look around, man. The clean modern aesthetic. The cool blue color palette. We’re in… Scooby-Doo: Ikea! Shaggy Rogers: The Falcon Fury! [pause] Shaggy Rogers: Did you say Ikea? Scooby-Doo: Nope. I said Falcon Fury. Just like you.
Scooby-Doo: Who sent those robots? Dee Dee Skyes: It’s this guy named Dick Dastardly. Shocker! He’s a psychotic supervillain.
Blue Falcon: Welcome to the Falcon Fury. [Shaggy and Scooby hold each other in excitement] Blue Falcon: Hang on. Hang on. Turn on the lights! [the lights are turned on] Blue Falcon: Where are my balloons, Dee Dee? When I say, Falcon Fury, that’s supposed to cue the balloons. Keith, what is the deal up there, man? Keith: [on speakers] I missed the cue. Blue Falcon: Duh. You’ve got one job, pal.
Blue Falcon: Anyway, welcome aboard, I’m Blue Falcon. Scooby-Doo: No, you’re not. Blue Falcon: Yes, I am. Dee Dee Skyes: I told you I wasn’t going to be the only one who noticed Shaggy Rogers: No, Blue Falcon’s suit has a bigger red F on the chest, and it’s way less, uh, scaly. Blue Falcon: They’re feathers, alright? And it’s called an upgrade. This ain’t your daddy’s Blue Falcon. Dynomutt: I think you mean to say your daddy’s Blue Falcon. Allow me to introduce you to Blue Falcon’s large adult son, Brian. Shaggy, Scooby: Dynomutt!
[to Shaggy and Scooby] Dynomutt: You might want to buckle up. And if you get sick, puke on Brian.
Dee Dee Skyes: Are you guys okay? [Shaggy and Scooby’s faces are pulled back from being windblown] Shaggy Rogers: Yeah, but like if you want, you can pull over and drop us off here. Scooby-Doo: We’ll walk home.
[makes a pretend call] Blue Falcon: Uh, guys, adventure’s calling, and it’s for you. Shaggy Rogers: Hello, adventure. Yes, will you take my name and number off your list? Scooby-Doo: But, Raggy, this is our chance. Shaggy Rogers: Yeah, maybe you’re right. We can show everyone we’re not the weak link. [back on the pretend call] Shaggy Rogers: Uh, Mr. Adventure, sir, it’s me again. Uh, my partner is intrigued by your offer, but I’m still on the fence. We’re going to have to call you back. Bye-bye.
Shaggy Rogers: You really want to do this? Scooby-Doo: Uh-huh. Shaggy Rogers: Well, I’m not going to let you do it without me. After all, there is no I in Scooby and Shaggy. Wait, is there? No! All good. [they fist pump] Shaggy, Scooby: We’re in. Blue Falcon: That’s what I’m talking about! Now, I’ve got a few waivers for you guys to sign. [just then party balloons are released] Blue Falcon: Oh, great. Great timing, Keith. Keith: [on speakers] Thank you!
[interviewing Judy about how Shaggy and Scooby were taken] Judy Takamoto: Well, uh, the robots attacked this talking dog, and a gangly dude that had this habit of using the word “like” at the start of every sentence. Almost as if he was some middle-aged man’s idea of how a teenage hippie talks. Daphne Blake: Oh, that’s Scoob and Shaggy alright.
Fred Jones: So what happened? Judy Takamoto: I don’t know. They seemed pretty bummed out. I guess their friends dumped them in a cold-hearted way, or something. And then this blue light came down from the sky and beamed them up. Fred Jones: Woh, woh, woh. Shaggy and Scooby were taken? Judy Takamoto: Yeah. I’d have to assume that if they were with their friends, they wouldn’t have been kidnapped. Daphne Blake: I can’t. I can’t breathe. Judy Takamoto: Whoever those friends are must be carrying a ton of guilt on their shoulders right about now. Velma Dinkley: Okay. Can you skip the emotional punishment, and describe the robots, please?
Velma Dinkley: Guys, this thing is increíble. It’s fully autonomous and capable of modifying its external appearance. I’d like to shake the hand of whoever created this. [Fred and Daphne look at each other, perplexed] Velma Dinkley: And then, you know, throw that hand in prison for trying to kill our friends. Right? Am I right?
Daphne Blake: Ew! Is that a hair? Velma Dinkley: Maybe this can lead us to our culprit. Fred Jones: What are you doing? You’re touching it with bare fingers! Velma Dinkley: Grow up, Fred. Do you know how many stray hairs the average human eats every day without knowing it? Fred Jones: If it’s more than zero, I don’t want to know. Velma Dinkley: It’s more. Much, much more.
[after examining the strand of hair] Velma Dinkley: Trace amounts of mustache oil. Twelve year-old Scotch. Daphne Blake: Ugh! Is the bad guy my dad?
[after examining the strand of hair and a mugshot of Dick Dastardly comes up] Fred Jones: What would a creep like that want with Scooby and Shaggy? Velma Dinkley: Hmm. Well, let’s see what the police department database has to say. Ooh. Quite a rap sheet. It looks like he’s wanted for the theft of archeological artifacts from a dig in Peru.
[reading from to Dick Dastardly’s rap sheet] Velma Dinkley: And apparently he’s been stealing Netflix by using his mother’s account. Daphne Blake: [gasps] That is not fair for the rest of us who have to pay for Netflix. Fred Jones: You have to pay for Netflix?! Velma Dinkley: This will not stand. Let’s go get that Dastardly dude.
[to his army of shape-shifting robots, Rottens] Dick Dastardly: I just needed you to retrieve one simple canine, so I could get my treasure. Now, were the missions a failure? [Rotten chirps] Dick Dastardly: Pinhead. The question was rhetorical! Of course it was a failure, because you failed me. You are responsible for my suffering!
Blue Falcon: A hero never reveals his secrets. Dynomutt: I believe you’re thinking of magicians. Blue Falcon: I’m always thinking of magicians. But if you must know, I got a DM from one of my fans who gave me the locayshe. Dynomutt: Brian, those are a lot of words no one your age should be using.
Dee Dee Skye: Sir, this could be a trap set by Dastardly. Blue Falcon: If it was a trap, why would Anonymous use his own name? Dee Dee Skye: Wait, do you think Anonymous is the name of a person? Blue Falcon: Well, based on your tone of voice, I don’t any more.
Dee Dee Skye: Sir, we really should go to the Gobi Desert. Blue Falcon: I hear you. You make a valid point, but we’re going to do my thing, okay? To the Falcon Nest! Dynomutt: Brian, last time you listened to someone on the Internet, you thought Tinder was an app that delivers firewood!
Daphne Blake: Okay, so Scooby is related to some ancient dog. Fred Jones: So what does that mean? Velma Dinkley: I have no idea. Daphne Blake: Guys, this is our most important mystery ever. Fred Jones: Yeah. This isn’t about some guy in a rubber mask. Daphne Blake: It’s about one of us.
[as he’s chasing after Shaggy and Scooby] Dick Dastardly: Stop right there, you filthy animal! And your dog too.
Dick Dastardly: Join me, Scooby-Doo, and I will show you how to harness your destiny, and become the most important dog in the world. Scooby-Doo: No, thanks, Dastardly. Dick Dastardly: Oh, please. My friends call me Dick. Scooby-Doo: Okay, Rick. Dick Dastardly: No, I’m not a Rick. I’m a Dick. With a D. Scooby-Doo: Rick. With a D. Dick Dastardly: D-D-D-Dick! Scooby-Doo: R-R-R-Rick. Dick Dastardly: Dick! Dick! Dick! [looks down and sees Scooby leave through the exit door] Dick Dastardly: Drat.
[as he’s taking a selfie with Shaggy, Scooby, and Dynomutt] Blue Falcon: Everybody say, “Hashtag Foxy Falcon!”
Blue Falcon: [to Shaggy] You’re feeling left out. I get it. Totally natural when two buddies realize that one of them is destined for greatness, and the other one is destined for, you know, other stuff.
[as Blue Falcon is trying to console Shaggy] Shaggy Rogers: Well, you know, we both struggle with confidence. When Dastardly attacked, we were both freaking out and hiding. Blue Falcon: Hey! It was a superior vantage point! Shaggy Rogers: But like your father was this great hero, right? So like you’re expected to be one too, and those are big shoes to fill. I mean, the pressure is monumental. Not to mention the imposter’s syndrome that comes with the territory. How do you breathe under the weight of all that?
Daphne Blake: Hurry, Fred! Shaggy and Scooby are in trouble, and your shortcut to Dastardly Demolition is taking forever! Velma Dinkley: Technically, this route is seventy-three meters longer than the highway. Fred Jones: Meters, Velma? I don’t even know what that means. What are we, in Europe? Velma Dinkley: It’s a quantitatively superior measurement system. Get with the program, Fred.
Daphne Blake: Why are we fighting? Fred, Daphne, Velma: We didn’t eat lunch! Fred Jones: Oh, we’re just hangry.
Velma Dinkley: Jinkies! Scooby and Shaggy are with Blue Falcon? Fred Jones: Of course. Blue light? Beamed up? That’s the Falcon Fury! Velma Dinkley: How do you know so much about superheroes and so little about the metric system? Fred Jones: Because I’m an American man.
[referring to the costume Blue Falcon gave him] Scooby-Doo: Does this make my ears look big? Shaggy Rogers: Makes your ego look big. Scooby-Doo: What did you say? Shaggy Rogers: I said, uh, fine. You look, uh, fine. Scooby-Doo: It sounded like you said ego. Shaggy Rogers: Nope. Must be in your head. Scooby-Doo: Hmm. Shaggy Rogers: Your giant, inflated head. Scooby-Doo: What? Shaggy Rogers: Nothing.
[referring to Fred] Dick Dastardly: Poor man’s Hemsworth stays with me. Fred Jones: How dare you? Wait. Chris or Liam?
Dee Dee Skyes: I want to see cheeks to seats, people! Straps activated. Shaggy Rogers: But my cheeks still need a seat! [rushes over to a seat] Dee Dee Skyes: Here we go!
[as Scooby chooses to go with Blue Falcon] Shaggy Rogers: I never thought I’d say this, but Simon Cowell was right! You can’t count on friendship!
Blue Falcon: [to Scooby] You know what? Simon Cowell is always right. He gave the world Kelly Clarkson. I mean, how much proof do you need?
[to Blue Falcon and Scooby] Captain Caveman: Follow me. And mind the pterodactyl droppings. [a dropping lands in front of them and they both exclaim in disgust] Captain Caveman: But if you get some on you, rub it in. It’s just like lotion.
Blue Falcon: Come at me, little man. Captain Caveman: Little?! Did you just call me little? Scooby-Doo: No! He said big. Blue Falcon: I did call you little, pipsqueak. Scooby-Doo: He said big squeak. Captain Caveman: You can call me Captain Caveman! [smashes Blue Falcon on the head with his hammer] Captain Caveman: I know I’m small. It’s a pituitary thing. [he smacks Blue Falcon across the arena] Captain Caveman: Are you not entertained?!
[as he’s fighting with Dee Dee] Captain Caveman: I love a challenge like I love dinosaur eggs. Over easy!
[as they’re arguing] Blue Falcon: Don’t you point your finger at me. Fred Jones: Well, don’t double-point your finger at me. Blue Falcon: Maybe I’ll triple-finger point at you. Fred Jones: Then obviously I’m going to quadruple-finger point at you! Blue Falcon: Ha! That’s just a wave, dipstick.
Shaggy Rogers: It’s my fault. I’m to blame. I let my own jealousy break me and Scooby up. I was afraid that with his new suit, and his new team, things were going to change. And they did change. But like that’s okay. People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby-Doo is my best friend.
Shaggy Rogers: Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him, no matter what. And I’m going to keep that promise. Now, it’s time we stop this mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the underpass… Dee Dee Skyes: Underworld. Shaggy Rogers: And letting loose the fearsome sippy-cup. Dynomutt: Cerberus. Shaggy Rogers: So what do you say we get out of Middle-earth… Blue Falcon: Copyright infringement. Shaggy Rogers: …and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back! Who’s with me? All: We are! Shaggy Rogers: Let’s do this!
[as he spots the gang coming after him] Dick Dastardly: I thought you mewling millennials were done for good!
Shaggy Rogers: Zoinks! I guess friendship really did save the day. Scooby-Doo: Raggy! Shaggy Rogers: Scooby-Doo! [they hug]
[Shaggy puts Scooby’s collar around Scooby’s neck] Shaggy Rogers: Well, it takes more than a three-headed monster to keep me away from my best bud. [pointing to Fred, Daphne and herself] Velma Dinkley: Tank, empath, brain. [to Shaggy and Scooby] Velma Dinkley: I finally figured out what you guys are. You’re the heart of Mystery, Inc.
[after they’ve captured Dastardly] Blue Falcon: Time to pay for your crimes, Dick Dastardly. Shaggy Rogers: Or is it? [she pulls off Dastardly’s face mask] All: Simon Cowell? Daphne Blake: Wow, that is a solid impersonation. Simon Cowell: Thank you. I also played Rum Tum Tugger in my secondary school’s production of Cats. Velma Dinkley: This makes no sense. How could he have time to judge the world’s greatest talent shows, and build a giant airship?
[Velma pulls of Simon Cowell’s face mask] All: Dick Dastardly? Dick Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. Blue Falcon: You are coming with us. Dick Dastardly: I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you mismatched meddling miscreants!
Fred Jones: Congratulations, you two. You just saved the world. Daphne Blake: How do you feel? Shaggy, Scooby: Hungry.
[last lines] Jamie Rivera: Hello, Mystery Inc.? There’s been a mysterious sighting in San Pedro. Residents report seeing a phantom tuna trawler, and the ghost of an old sea captain. Shaggy, Scooby: G-g-g-ghost? Velma Dinkley: Looks like we’re on the case. Fred Jones: Let’s hit it. Daphne Blake: Hey, Dusty! Watch the shop, please. Shaggy Rogers: What do you say, buddy? Scooby-Doo: Let’s Scooby-Dooby-Doo it!
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