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Starring: Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Roger L. Jackson, Marley Shelton, Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jack Quaid, Mason Gooding, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Dylan Minnette, Mikey Madison, Sonia Ben Ammar, Kyle Gallner
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Horror slasher sequel directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett. Set twenty-five years after a streak of brutal murders shocked the quiet town of Woodsboro, Scream 5 (2022) follows a new killer who has donned the Ghostface mask and begins targeting a group of teenagers to resurrect secrets from the town’s deadly past.
Our Favorite Quote:'You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife, and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say, you're on the suspect list.' - Wes Hicks (Scream 2022) Click To Tweet
Ghostface: [over phone] What’s your favorite scary movie?
Tara Carpenter: The Babadook. It’s an amazing meditation on motherhood and grief.
Ghostface: Isn’t that a little fancy pants?
Tara Carpenter: Well, it’s elevated horror.
Ghostface: What does that mean, “Elevated horror”?
Tara Carpenter: You know, it’s like scary, but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings. It’s not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall to wall jump scares.
Ghostface: That sounds kind of boring to me.
Ghostface: [referring to Stab] How well do you remember the original?
Tara Carpenter: I don’t know. I mean, it was like super ’90s. It was like really over-lit, and everyone had weird hair.
Ghostface: Do you remember the beginning?
Tara Carpenter: Not really. It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene.
Ghostface: Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. It’s a girl at home, alone. She answers a wrong number and starts talking with the killer who makes her play a game. Would you like to play a game, Tara?
Tara Carpenter: What do you want?
Ghostface: [referring to Amber] I told you, I want to play a game. Stab movie trivia, three rounds. You call the cops, she dies. You get a question wrong, she dies.
Ghostface: You want a warmup question?
Tara Carpenter: I told you I don’t know these movies! Ask me about something I do know. Ask me about It Follows. Ask me about Hereditary. Ask me about The Witch.
Ghostface: In the first Stab movie, what Woodsboro native was introduced as the franchise’s main character?
Tara Carpenter: It’s Sidney Prescott! It’s Sidney Prescott and she lived on Elm.
Ghostface: Correct. You see, you’re going to do great at this.
Ghostface: Question one. Who wrote the original book that the Stab movies are based on?
Tara Carpenter: The chick from TV.
Ghostface: “The chick from TV” is not going to cut it, Tara.
Tara Carpenter: Gale Weathers! It is Gale Weathers, you m**herf***er!
Ghostface: Correct. Amber might live to see the sunrise.
Ghostface: Question two. Who played the dumb b**ch in the beginning of Stab 1 who answers the phone and gets carved up by the killer?
Tara Carpenter: F*** you.
Ghostface: Is that the answer you’re going with?
Ghostface: Now for the final question. Who was the killer in Stab 1?
Tara Carpenter: Oh, I know this one, you f***. It’s Billy Loomis! It’s Billy Loomis, and he was Sidney’s boyfriend, and he was played by Luke Wilson! And I got you, a**hole! I got it! I got it right!
Ghostface: Oh, I’m sorry, Tara. But that’s just not correct.
Tara Carpenter: What? No, no, no, no, it is. It is. That is right.
Ghostface: The correct answer is Billy Loomis and Stu Macher. There are two killers in the original Stab. I’m afraid someone’s got to die now.
Ghostface: Bonus question, Tara.
Tara Carpenter: Please stop.
Ghostface: Do you think I made it inside your house before you could rearm?
[suddenly appears from behind her and starts stabbing her]
Wes Hicks: Tara was attacked.
Sam Carpenter: What? Is she…
Wes Hicks: She’s alive, but in bad shape. She was stabbed.
Wes Hicks: There’s a psycho out there. You make yourself harder to find. Delete social media, tape over your phone camera, disable GPS.
Chad Meeks-Martin: Yes, thank you very much, Edward Snowden.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: The press still isn’t saying Ghostface.
Wes Hicks: My mom doesn’t want to cause a panic.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: It’ll get out by the second, or third killing.
Amber Freeman: Jesus, Mindy, there wasn’t a first killing. Tara’s alive.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: I mean, she could still die.
Amber Freeman: What the f***?
Mindy Meeks-Martin: Or the killer could come back for her.
Wes Hicks: I’m just telling you, arm up, okay? Pepper spray, check. Taser, check.
Amber Freeman: Girlfriend repellent, check.
Richie Kirsch: I’ve actually never seen Stab.
Sam Carpenter: You’ve never seen Stab? Not even the one that came out last year?
Richie Kirsch: I mean, I’ve never seen Gone with the Wind either, but I don’t consider it like a huge hole in my cinematic education.
Sam Carpenter: A guy named Billy Loomis and his friend carved up a bunch of high school kids while wearing this Halloween ghost mask.
Richie Kirsch: You mean like in Halloween?
Sam Carpenter: No. Not like in Halloween.
Richie Kirsch: Oh. Sounds a lot like Halloween.
Sam Carpenter: Alright, it’s a little like Halloween.
Sam Carpenter: And every decade or so, some idiot gets the bright idea to put on the mask, kill his friends, and get famous too. The last time it happened was in 2011.
Richie Kirsch: And we came here voluntarily?
Richie Kirsch: [to Sam] I got to make sure we don’t get sliced up by some lunatic who saw Friday the 13th and thought, “You know what? That Jason guy, he’s got some pretty solid ideas.”
Chad Meeks-Martin: Oh, Sam is so cool.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: Yeah. You only say that because she let you wear Pokémon onesies to bed for a year.
Chad Meeks-Martin: That’s true. That’s a true statement.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: We’re all suspects. Except maybe Liv.
Liv McKenzie: Thank you.
Mindy Meeks-Martin: You’re way too boring to be a psycho.
Sam Carpenter: What are you watching?
Richie Kirsch: Oh, Stab is on Netflix. What? I want to be prepared.
Billy Loomis: [as Sam is hallucinating] How you doing, Sam? Antipsychotics aren’t working as well as they used to, are they?
Sam Carpenter: F*** you.
Billy Loomis: You can’t run from who you are, Sam. I’m just trying to help. Hey, when are you going to tell her why all this is happening?
Ghostface: [over phone] Hello, Samantha.
Sam Carpenter: Who is this?
Ghostface: Someone who knows your little family secret.
Sam Carpenter: You’re the f*** who hurt my sister?
Ghostface: Oh, she’s not the only one I’m going to hurt. I had to get you to come back here somehow, didn’t I?
Sheriff Judy Hicks: [to Sam and Tara] You said the call came from Amber’s number?
Amber Freeman: So? We know he cloned my phone before when he attacked Tara.
Richie Kirsch: Or, and I’m just spit-balling here, you’re the killer.
Sheriff Judy Hicks: And where were you when all this happened?
Richie Kirsch: I was watching Netflix.
Amber Freeman: Ooh. Yeah. Super solid alibi, bro.
Sam Carpenter: [referring to inadvertently revealing her true parentage to her father] And that’s why I changed, and I got distant, and weird with you. And I went out and I started doing every drug that I could get my hands on until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I left town. I just couldn’t be around you anymore, Tara. Not only because I destroyed our family that night, but because those diaries told me who my real father was. It was Billy Loomis. And somebody knows, and I think that’s why you got hurt.
Sam Carpenter: It doesn’t freak you out that my real father was a serial killer?
Richie Kirsch: I mean, yeah. A great deal, yeah.
Sam Carpenter: You know that part in horror movies where you want to yell at the characters to be smart and get the f*** out? This is that part, Richie. You should get the f*** out.
Richie Kirsch: But I’m staying. I love you.
Sam Carpenter: You’re such a dumba**.
Richie Kirsch: I’m such a dumba**.
Richie Kirsch: So, your sister won’t talk to you. The police aren’t going to help. What’s our next move?
Sam Carpenter: We go talk to an expert.
Dewey Riley: Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.
Sam Carpenter: I’m Billy Loomis’s daughter.
Dewey Riley: That’s a terrible reason for me to talk to you.