Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver, Chris Tucker, Anupam Kher, John Ortiz, Shea Whigham, Julia Stiles, Paul Herman, Dash Mihok, Matthew Russell
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Story:
Romantic dramedy written and directed by David O. Russell based on the novel of the same name. The story follows Pat (Bradley Cooper), a man with bipolar disorder, who after losing job and wife and spending time at a psychiatric hospital, moves back in with his parents, Pat Sr. and Dolores (Robert De Niro and Jacki Weaver). Determined to win back his estranged wife, Pat meets recently widowed Tiffany Maxwell (Jennifer Lawrence), who offers to help him get his wife back if he enters a dance competition with her. The two become closer as they train, starting up an unusual courtship as they cope with their problems.
Our Favorite Quotes:
‘You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining.’ – Pat (Silver Linings Playbook) Click To Tweet ‘One incident can change a lifetime.’ - Dr. Cliff Patel (Silver Linings Playbook) Click To Tweet
Best Quotes
[first lines; is in his room at Karel Psychiatric Facility in Baltimore reading his speech]
Pat: What, are you kidding me? Sundays? I love Sundays. I live for Sundays. The whole family’s together. Mom makes braciole. Dad puts the jersey on. We’re all watching the game. Yeah, it drives me crazy, and yes, I was negative. You didn’t even know that I loved it, Nikki, but I did. I just didn’t appreciate it, or you, before.
[there’s a knock at Pat’s door]
Orderly: Come on. Time to go.
[Pat continues his speech]
Pat: I lost all that. I blew it. But you also blew it. We can get it back. We’re going to get it back. It’s all going to be better now. I’m better now and I hope you are, too. And I’m going to appreciate…
[there’s another knock on his door]
Pat: Hey, I’ll be there in a minute, okay?
Orderly: Doctor’s waiting. Let’s go.
Pat: I’ll be there in a minute.
[Pat returns to his speech again]
Pat: That’s true love.
[we see Pat’s room which has mayonnaise jar filled with water, black garbage bag on the bed, the word ‘EXCELSIOR’ written on paper and taped to the wall]
[as Pat makes his way to his group session, we see him getting his pill and taking his, sticking his tongue out to show he’s taken it, then as he walks off he spits out the pill; we then see Pat sat with a group of patients have a group therapy session]
Danny: Yeah, that’s when I had long hair. People say I talk about my hair too much. And it was just the way I wanted it, but he cut it back too far. He cut this side back too far trying to even it up. I didn’t tell him to do that. I said, “Just cut it the way you cut it…”
Pat: Once you get in the right frame of mind, I think anything’s possible. I think we get, we so often get caught in this state of negativity and it’s a, it’s a poison like nothing else.
[as Pat’s mother arrives at the institution]
Dr. Timbers: Technically, you can take him out against our recommendation, but you assume a lot of liability in the eyes of the court. And he’s just getting used to the routine here.
Dolores: I don’t want him to get used to the routine here. Eight months is already long enough.
[after Dolores signs the release forms, Pat gets into his mom’s car and she starts to drive off]
Pat: Hey, mom. Can we give Danny a ride to North Philly?
she stops the car as she sees Danny standing in front of them with his suitcase in his hand
Dolores: What? I don’t understand.
Pat: Mom, no, it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.
[Danny gets into the back seat of the car]
Danny: I guess everybody’s leaving today! Hello, Mrs. S. An honor to finally meet you. Pat told me all about you, how God made you rich in character, and you’re the mighty oak that hold the household together, and not to mention the lasagna you make on game day when the Birds play.
[as Dolores is driving them to Philadelphia]
Pat: Danny was in for assault because of crystal meth and alcohol.
Danny: Bad combination.
Pat: Yeah. On top of an anxiety disorder.
Danny: That was when I was an X-ray technician and, uh, I had my ADD and my anxiety. I had a lot of access to medication and I took advantage of it. That’s when my hair was long, too. But my hair only grew when I was older, because when I was younger, my hair didn’t grow because my brother…
[to Pat]
Danny: Remember I told you about my brother, he had a Jheri curl, and I couldn’t get a Jheri curl because my hair didn’t grow long enough.
[Pat looks at Dolores]
Pat: He’s obsessed with his hair.
Danny: I was so jealous of my brother… But wait a minute, wait a minute.
[Dolores’ phone rings and she answers it]
Dolores: Hello?
[Danny and Pat continue their conversation about Danny’s hair]
Pat: Yeah! It looks great.
Danny: You like it?
Pat: No, It’s good now.
Danny: Yes, it is.
[Pat touches Danny’s hair]
Danny: Wait! Wait, man! You’re going the wrong way! It’s this way.
[into her cell phone]
Dolores: What? Are you sure about that? I’ll bring him back right away.
[she hangs up the phone]
Dolores: You lied to me, Pat. Danny’s not allowed to leave.
Pat: Alright, Mom, just hold on a sec. Let’s just talk about this.
[as Dolores tries to get off the freeway, Pat grabs the steering wheel]
Pat: Mom, just listen!
Dolores: Don’t do that! Don’t touch the steering wheel!
[Dolores pulls the car over and stops, she begins to cry]
Dolores: Pat, this whole thing was a mistake.
Pat: I’m sorry, mom. You okay?
Dolores: I am out on a limb for you with the courts right now.
Danny: It’s my fault. Pat didn’t know. Pat didn’t know. He’s my friend, so he was rooting for me. I’m having a disagreement with the hospital, but we’re working it out. Take me back to the hospital, but take Pat home, he’s fine. Trust me. You’ll see, he’s fine. It’s my fault.
[as Dolores and Pat continue on their journey home after Danny has been taken back to the hospital]
Pat: Mom, can we stop at the library? I want to read Nikki’s entire English high school syllabus.
[Dolores gives Pat a worried look]
Pat: Mom, it’s a good thing. I’m remaking myself.
[as Pat and Dolores arrive home, inside we see Pat’s dad talking to a neighbor]
Randy: DeSean Jackson. What happened to DeSean Jackson? Come on, tell me that one.
Pat Sr.: It’s insanity. He spikes the ball at the one yard line. The one fucking-yard line. I mean, get into the end zone, dummy. I mean, he celebrates before he’s even in!
Randy: You know something? It’s nothing new. Your team does that all the time. They get close and then they blow it. They got an inferiority complex.
Pat Sr.: Wait a minute, what are you talking about? What makes the Cowboys America’s Team?
Randy: Because we are, we’re America’s Team.
Pat Sr.: You should be with us, with Philadelphia! What’s the matter with you? You’re a fucking traitor.
Randy: What’s more, what’s more American than a cowboy?
Pat Sr.: You know what’s more American?
Randy: What?
Pat Sr.: Benjamin Franklin, that’s what’s more American.
Randy: Benjamin Franklin?
Pat Sr.: Benjamin Franklin. The founder of our country, here in Philadelphia.
Randy: You mean the guy with the little glasses and the long scraggly hair?
Pat Sr.: What about the lightning with the kite? He stood in the storm with a kite.
Randy: If he wasn’t on the hundred dollar bill, nobody would even know who he is.
[Pat and Dolores enter the house, they hear Pat Sr. talking to Randy in the living room]
Randy: Why you got so many of these things?
Pat Sr.: What are you doing? No, no, no, no. Don’t touch them, don’t touch them.
Randy: I didn’t even touch them. Why are you…? Don’t blame me.
[Pat Sr. starts to straighten up the remotes]
Pat Sr.: Who did this? Who took the remotes like this? Did you do this, Randy?
Randy: No, I-I don’t touch them. As a matter of fact, I don’t know why you need so many.
Pat Sr.: It’s none of your business why I need so many.
[just then Pat and Dolores walk into the room]
Randy: Hey! Ah, there she is! Look how beautiful!
[Pat Sr. turns and sees Pat entering the room]
Pat Sr.: What?! What’s this?
[Pat Sr. steps towards Pat and pats him on the arm]
Pat Sr.: Everything good?
Pat: Mm-hmm.
Pat Sr.: Ahh.
[Pat Sr. embraces Pat and Pat looks awkward, then Pat Sr. touches Pat’s shirt]
Pat Sr.: Where is it?
Pat: It’s right here.
[Pat Sr. pulls out a gold necklace from under Pat’s shirt]
Pat Sr.: You got it. Ahh, well, we got that. We don’t want them to steal that.
Pat: You still got yours?
Pat Sr.: Yeah, I got mine.
[to Dolores]
Pat Sr.: So what, you don’t talk to me? You didn’t, you didn’t tell me you took him out.
Dolores: Well, he’s ready. Look at him.
Pat: You didn’t tell Dad you were picking me up?
Dolores: Don’t worry about that.
Pat Sr.: I want to make sure when you come out that you’re okay, and I, and she didn’t say anything.
[to Dolores]
Pat Sr.: You didn’t tell me?
Dolores: The court said yes. Don’t worry.
Pat Sr.: Yeah, but what did the doctor say? Because the court listens to the doctor.
Pat: Yeah, and the court said…
Pat Sr.: The court listens to the doctor, the doctor…
Pat: Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad, relax. The court said it’s fine, okay? Let it go.
Dolores: Yeah. Don’t worry.
Pat: Dad, I’m in there because of the court. That’s the agreement that we made months ago. It was a plea bargain with the courts. The lawyer, he instructed me…
Pat Sr.: Yeah. No, no, no. I just…
Pat: He said that what we should do is, we should plead that, and then I would serve eight months and then I can get out.
Dolores: It’s all under control.
Pat Sr.: Well, okay, okay. Congratulations.
Pat: Thank you.
Pat: So what are you doing with yourself?
Pat Sr.: You know, I’m going to start a restaurant. It’s going to be a cheesesteak place.
Pat: How you going to pay for it?
Pat Sr.: I’m going to pay for it, don’t worry about it.
Pat: From your bookmaking?
Pat Sr.: Who told you that?
Pat: Mom told me. Outside.
Dolores: I did not. No, I didn’t.
Pat: You just told me outside, mom, what are you talking about? Five minutes ago, we were walking up the stairs, she said, “Don’t say anything, but dad lost his job and he’s bookmaking.”
[there’s an awkward silence as Pat Sr. looks at Dolores]
Pat Sr.: Why? Why, Dolores? Why did you say that to him? He has the wrong idea. Everything is fine, Patrick. I’m more concerned about you than anything else.
Pat: Good, dad. Good.
Pat Sr.: Okay, the question, the big question, is what are you going to do with yourself?
Pat: What am I going to do? I’m getting in shape, I’m getting trim, I’m getting really fit for Nikki. I’m going to read Nikki’s teaching syllabus and get my old job back.
Pat Sr.: Nikki sold the house. She left. Didn’t your mother tell you? She…
Pat: Let me tell you something. You don’t know anything about my marriage, okay, dad? Alright? Our marriage, we’re very, very much in love, okay? Just like you two.
Pat Sr.: Listen, Patrick, she’s gone. She’s not around anymore. Nikki left.
Pat: What are you doing, dad?! Excelsior! Excelsior. Excelsior.
Pat Sr.: What does that mean?
Pat: It means, you know what I’m going to do, I’m going to take all this negativity and I’m going to use it as fuel, I’m going to find a silver lining, that’s what I’m going to do. And that’s no bullshit. That’s no bullshit. That takes work and that’s the truth.
[Pat turns and goes upstairs]
[later that day, Pat sits in his room reading an Ernest Hemingway novel, he continues reading right through to the end of the book, as he finishes reading the last page he slams the book shut and shouts]
Pat: What the fuck?!
[visibly angry and frustrated he throws the book out of the window, breaking the glass]
Pat: Stupid fucking book!
[this wakes Pat Sr.]
[we see Pat pacing around in his parents bedroom]
Pat: I just can’t believe Nikki’s teaching that book to the kids. I mean the whole time, let me just break it down for you, the whole time you’re rooting for this Hemingway guy to survive the war and to be with the woman that he loves, Catherine Barkley…
[we see Pat’s parents sat up in bed looking very tired]
Dolores: It’s four o’clock in the morning, Pat.
Pat: …and he does. He does. He survives the war, after getting blown up he survives it, and he escapes to Switzerland with Catherine. But now Catherine’s pregnant. Isn’t that wonderful? She’s pregnant. And they escape up into the mountains and they’re going to be happy, and they’re going to be drinking wine and they dance, they both like to dance with each other. There’s scenes of them dancing, which was boring, but I liked it, because they were happy. You think he ends it there? No! He writes another ending. She dies, dad! I mean, the world’s hard enough as it is, guys. It’s fucking hard enough as it is. Can’t somebody say, “Hey, let’s be positive? Let’s have a good ending to the story?”
Dolores: Pat, you owe us an apology.
Pat: Mom, I, for what, I can’t apologize. I’m not going to apologize for this. You know what I will do? I will apologize on behalf of Ernest Hemingway, because that’s who’s to blame here.
[Pat walks out of the room]
Pat Sr.: Yeah, have Ernest Hemingway call us and apologize to us, too.
[the next morning, as Pat Sr. is jogging he sees Pat coming out of the house wearing a sweat suit with a garbage bag over it]
Pat Sr.: Why didn’t you run with me?
[Pat starts stretching]
Pat: Huh! I was reading.
Pat Sr.: Oh, please. Do us a favor, don’t read for a while. What are you wearing a garbage bag for?
Pat: I’m going to go run now.
Pat Sr.: Wait. Where you going? Wait, wait, wait. You have to fix this window.
Pat: I’ll fix it when I get back.
Pat Sr.: Fix it now.
[at that moment Dolores walks out of the house]
Dolores: Get in the car, Pat. You have to go to therapy.
Pat: I don’t want to go to therapy.
Dolores: You have to go. It’s part of the deal. You can’t live with us and not go.
[Pat enters the waiting room to check in for his appointment with the therapist, as he’s signing in he hears the song ‘Cherie Amour’ by Stevie Wonder]
Pat: Is that song really playing?
Receptionist: We have music sometimes.
Pat: That song is killing me. Could you please turn it off?
Receptionist: I can’t.
Pat: What do you mean, you can’t?
Receptionist: Well, I don’t have the controls. I’m sorry, I don’t have the controls.
Pat: Did Doctor Timbers put you up to this? Is there a speaker here?
[Pat walks over to the magazine rack and turns it over]
Pat: Is the speaker here?
[on hearing the commotion, the therapists walks out of their rooms and the other patients in the waiting room star at Pat in astonishment]
Pat: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll fix all this, okay?
[feeling embarrassed, Pat starts picking up the magazines]
[Pat is sat in his therapists office having his session]
Dr. Cliff Patel: That was a messed up thing you did, Doctor Patel. Alright! That’s a messed up thing.
Pat: I’m sorry, but that’s…
Dr. Cliff Patel: You can call me Cliff, please.
Pat: Yeah, well, Cliff, that’s not the way you’re supposed to meet people, okay? You should write that down in your, in your, I don’t know, what do you, your little book you write stuff down in.
Dr. Cliff Patel: I’m sorry about that song. I just wanted to see if it was still a trigger for you.
Pat: Bravo. It’s a trigger. I’m not going to take any meds, I should just tell you that right now.
Dr. Cliff Patel: No, You have to take medicine.
Pat: No, I’m not going to take any medicine. No, look, it makes me foggy…
Dr. Cliff Patel: No, you will have to take medication.
Pat: I don’t want any meds, Doctor. I’m sorry. Look, I am not the explosion guy, okay?
[Pat takes a breath]
Pat: My father is the explosion guy. I’m not that guy. He got kicked out of that stadium he beat up so many people at Eagles games, he’s on the exclusion list. I had one incident.
Dr. Cliff Patel: One incident can change a lifetime.
Pat: But I’m ready. I’m ready to take responsibility for my side of the street. She just needs to take responsibility for hers.
Dr. Cliff Patel: What’s hers?
Pat: What’s hers?!
Dr. Cliff Patel: Mm-hmm.
Pat: Are you joking? Well, let’s go back to the incident.
Pat: I come home from work after I left early, which I never do, by the way, but I got in a fight with Nancy, the school, the high school principal.
[we see flashback to the incident at Pat and Nikki’s home]
Pat: I come home and what’s playing but the song from my wedding. The song that you so charmingly played out here today for us. That’s playing and I don’t think anything of it. Which is odd, because I should have. I come home, what do I see?
[we see as the staircase at Pat’s house which has clothing scattered on it]
Pat: I see, I walk in the door and I see underwear and pieces of clothing and a guy’s pants with his belt in it, and I walk up the stairs, and all of a sudden I see the DVD player, and on the DVD player is the CD and it’s playing the wedding song, and then I look down and I see my wife’s panties on the ground and then I look up, I look up and I see her naked in the shower and I think, “Oh, that’s kind of sweet, she’s in the shower. What a perfect thing. I’m going to find her, and maybe I’ll go in there. We never fuck in the shower anymore. Maybe today we will.”
[we see as Pat sees his wife naked in the shower, then as he pulls the curtains back he’s sees a man is in the shower]
Pat: I pull the curtain back and there’s the fucking history teacher with tenure. And you know what he says to me? “You should probably go.” That’s what he says to me.
[back in Patel’s office]
Pat: So yeah, I snapped. I almost beat him to death. But then I get fucking chastised for it? I get that I’m parallel to my father? I don’t think so.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Alright. Can you talk about something that you did, before or after?
Pat: Yeah, about a week before the incident, I called the cops and I told them that my wife and the history guy were plotting against me by embezzling money from the local high school, which wasn’t true. It was a delusion. And we later found out from the hospital that’s because I’m, uh…
Dr. Cliff Patel: …undiagnosed bipolar.
Pat: Yeah. With mood swings and weird thinking brought on by severe stress, which rarely happens, thank God. And then the shower incident happened and hat’s when everything snapped, so I then realized that, oh, wow, you know, I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. And, uh, and without any supervision I’ve been doing it all on my own, uh, with no help, and, um, you know, I basically I’ve been like white-knuckling it this whole time.
Dr. Cliff Patel: That had to be hard.
Pat: Yeah. It’s a lot to deal with, especially when you don’t know what the hell is happening, which I do now. Sort of.
[back at home, as Pat Sr. watches TV, Dolores and Pat are talking in the kitchen]
Dolores: Pat, you have to take your medication.
Pat: I can’t, mom. I can’t.
Dolores: I will call them. They’ll come for you.
Pat: Why would you do that? You wouldn’t do that. Why would you call them?
Pat Sr.: What’s up?
Dolores: It’s for your condition.
Pat: I don’t feel good when I’m on them, mom. I don’t feel good.
Dolores: You’ve got to take your medication.
Pat: I’m so much clearer without them. Mom, it make me bloated. I don’t like the way it makes me look.
[Pat walks into the living room, wearing a garbage bag over sweat suit]
Dolores: You promised that you would take them.
Pat Sr.: Why don’t you just take your medication?
Pat: Come on, I’m doing it with my physicality. I’ve been working out, that’s what I’m doing.
Pat Sr.: Why don’t you take your medication?
[to Dolores]
Pat Sr.: Why is he wearing a garbage bag?
[to Pat]
Dolores: Why are you wearing a garbage bag?
Pat: To sweat.
Pat Sr.: Sit down, come on. Sit down.
Pat: I don’t want to.
Pat Sr.: We’re seven minutes in, no score. Come on, help turn the juju around.
Pat: I don’t believe in juju, dad.
Pat Sr.: Oh, come on, Mister Excelsior. You want to be positive? Be positive. Sit down.
Pat: Alright, alright. I’ll sit down.
Pat Sr.: Come on.
Pat: For a second. I’ll watch the beginning of the game.
Dolores: He said you’re good luck, honey.
[Pat sits next to his dad as he watches the game on TV, Pat Sr. is holding a handkerchief in one hand]
Pat: What’s that in your hand?
Pat Sr.: It’s a, it’s…
[he opens the handkerchief to show Pat]
Pat Sr.: See?
Pat: Handkerchief?
Pat Sr.: Yeah.
[Pat watches his dad as he straightens the remote controls on the table next to him]
Pat: That’s OCD. That’s crazy.
Pat Sr.: What OCD? I want my son to watch the game with me, so sue me.
[Pat gets up]
Pat Sr.: I got to, I…
Pat: You know, sit down, come on. I want you to watch the game with me.
Pat Sr.: I do, but this, it makes me…
Pat: I’m not superstitious. That’s a small thing that I do. If I make a lot of money, what’s the difference if I do this or that? It’s a small thing. Sit down. Come on. Sit, sit, sit.
Dolores: I’m making crabby snacks and homemades.
[as they hear touchdown on the TV, they all yell in excitement]
Pat Sr.: You see?! You see that?! You’re meant to be here! This is special. Everything happens for a reason. That’s why you came home. Embrace it! Embrace it!
Pat: I’m the reason? I don’t think so.
[the telephone rings and Pat Sr. answers]
Pat Sr.: Yeah! Yeah. Tommy, Tommy, yes, yes. I got your whole sheet.
Pat: Mom.
Pat Sr.: Yeah. No, no, no. I’m just confirming. I’m just confirming. Okay.
[as Pat Sr. is talking on the phone the doorbell rings and Pat goes to open the door]
Pat Sr.: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[a teenager is at the door, holding a video camera]
Ricky D’Angelo: Can I do an interview for a school project on mental illness?
Pat Sr.: No!
[Pat Sr. slams the door shut]
Ricky D’Angelo: Come on! It’s for a school project!
[to Pat]
Pat Sr.: Don’t pay any attention.
Pat: Who’s that? Is that, is that, that’s not Ricky D’Angelo, is it?
Dolores: That’s him.
Pat: Is he the guy who’s having the problem?
Dolores: Yeah, that’s the one.
Pat Sr.: People are stupid. They, they, they, they don’t know what they’re saying. Don’t let them hurt your feelings.
Pat: You shut the door on him. I’m going for a run.
Pat Sr.: Patrick.
Dolores: Pat!
[Pat opens the door and leaves, Ricky is still standing outside holding his camera]
Pat Sr.: Get out of here with that fucking camera! Get out of here!
[Ricky leaves and Pat starts jogging]
Dolores: Don’t look for Nikki!
Pat Sr.: Patrick, please!
Dolores: Pat!
Pat Sr.: Patty! Patty!
Dolores: Don’t look for Nikki!
[as Pat runs he runs towards the high school, he sees the principles and runs towards her]
Pat: Ms. Meckers!
Nancy: Oh, God! Oh, God!
[Nancy quickly turns and walks towards the school to avoid Pat]
Pat: Nance! It’s my lucky day! Look at you working on a Sunday! How are you? Hey.
Nancy: What are you doing here?
Pat: I just came by to say hi, to let you know I’m ready to come back to work.
Nancy: You shouldn’t be here.
Pat: I’ll work full-time, half-time. I’ll work, I’ll sub, I’ll work history, whatever you want.
[Pat walks up the stairs to Nancy as she tries to unlock the door]
Pat: Here, let me give you a hand. I’m sorry. I’m being rude.
Nancy: I got it. I got it. I got it.
Pat: Let me ask you something. Let me just ask you something. Does Nikki still work here?
Nancy: You know I can’t tell you that. But Doug Culpepper is still here.
Pat: Why would you tell me that? You know he broke up my marriage. What, are you being, a troublemaker?
Nancy: You know, you look good. Did you lose a lot of weight?
Pat: I did, yeah. I did. Thank you.
[Pat embraces Nancy and she starts screaming]
Nancy: Get away from me! Get away!
Pat: What, what, what?!
Nancy: Get away! Get away!
Pat: Okay. Okay. Aright. I’m better. I just want to let you know, I’m better now. Okay?
Nancy: Yeah.
Pat: I’m better. I feel good. I feel so good. Look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Look at how clear they are. I’m not a complainer anymore. I’m a positive guy. Okay?
[Pat opens the door for Nancy and she steps inside]
Nancy: You just have to give it some time.
Pat: Yes.
Nancy: You know, a lot went down. People will get over it. It’ll be all good. It’ll work out.
Pat: Yes! It will be!
Nancy: Yeah.
Pat: I’m going to take that as a silver development, Nancy! A silver development! That’s a silver lining!
Nancy: Good luck.
[as Pat runs back towards his parents house he sees Ronnie carrying groceries from his parked car]
Pat: Ronnie! Pat.
Ronnie: There he is! He’s back!
Pat: Hey.
[they embrace]
Ronnie: Welcome home.
Pat: Thank you.
Ronnie: Welcome back, man.
Pat: Yeah, I’m out.
Ronnie: Yeah? You’re out?
Pat: Uh-huh.
Ronnie: Cool, man. Wow, you lost a lot of weight. I almost didn’t recognize you.
Pat: Thank you.
Ronnie: I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in the hospital. You know, work’s out of control, you know, she had the baby. I’m really glad you’re back. I missed you. I really need someone to talk to. You got to come see the baby. She’s beautiful. And Veronica wants to make dinner for you.
Pat: Congratulations on the baby, but I’m not buying the invitation.
Ronnie: Because you think Veronica still hates you?
Pat: I know Veronica still hates me.
Ronnie: That’s not true.
Pat: Yes, it is. Nikki always said that “Ronnie’s wife keeps his social calendar where she keeps his balls, in her purse.”
Ronnie: That’s not true.
[Ronnie’s wife opens a window and leans out]
Veronica: Ronnie! What are you doing?
Ronnie: Okay, it’s a little true. But if you think she still hates you, you’re wrong because why would she tell me to invite you to dinner? Hmm?
Veronica: Did you invite him?
Ronnie: Yes.
Veronica: Well, can he make it?
Ronnie: I don’t know yet!
[to Pat]
Ronnie: Can you make it next Sunday?
Pat: Sure.
Ronnie: I’ll see you next Sunday.
Pat: Now, you guys are still in touch with Nikki, right? Now does Veronica still talk to Nikki?
Ronnie: Yeah.
Veronica: Get in here, please! I need you!
Ronnie: Okay.
[later that evening at his parent’s house]
Pat Sr.: As soon as you left, the Redskins threw a trick play, a pitch out to Randal El. Andy Reid wastes a timeout challenging it, loses the challenge, loses the game. You’re in this house, please show some respect for what I do. And we should spend time together anyway. I’m trying to keep you out of trouble, please.
Pat: I have very, very good news, everybody. Very good news.
Pat Sr.: What’s that? What’s the good news?
Pat: Things are looking up.
Pat Sr.: Oh, are they?
Pat: You know what, I knew why they invited me over. I knew it.
[Pat picks up the phone to make a call]
Pat Sr.: Listen, she might be with that guy. That, the…
Pat: Oh, no way!
Pat Sr.: She, no…
Pat: No way, Dad. No way.
Pat Sr.: She might be with him. She’s afraid of you. She doesn’t want to talk to you.
Pat: You talking about Doug Culpepper?
Pat Sr.: Put the phone down.
Pat: Wait just a minute.
Pat Sr.: Look, you got to put the phone down, please.
[Pat Sr. reaches out to take the phone out of Pat’s hand]
Pat: What are you doing?
[they both pull on the phone as Pat Sr. tries to take it away from Pat]
Pat Sr.: Stop.
Pat: What are you doing? Look. Look. This is… Dad. Dad. Fucking give me the phone. Dad, this is my life! Dad.
Pat Sr.: Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Dolores: Pat!
Pat Sr.: You got to understand me. You want to go back?
Pat: Don’t talk to me like that.
Well then, stop this! Then don’t fucking do this.
Pat: Don’t talk to me like that.
Pat Sr.: Well then, don’t behave this way!
[just as Pat Sr. and Pat are arguing the doorbell rings, Pat Sr. opens the door to a police officer]
Officer Keogh: I got a call asking to check on this house. Pat Solatano?
Pat: Yeah.
Officer Keogh: Yeah? Mrs. Solatano, Mr. Solatano, I’m Officer Keogh. I work this beat. Look, I heard about the restraining order. And I heard you went to your old house and the school. It’s not okay. I’ve been assigned to your case, so you’re going to be seeing a lot of me. Do yourself a favor. Respect the restraining order, okay? Five hundred feet.
Pat Sr.: You hear what he just said? You have a restraining order.
Pat: Yeah, dad, I know.
Pat Sr.: Thank you, Officer.
Officer Keogh: If you need anything, my card.
[Pat Sr. takes his card]
Pat Sr.: Thank you. Sorry. We understand.
Pat: Since when do cops have cards?
[Pat Sr. closes the front door]
[Pat has another therapy session]
Dr. Cliff Patel: Tell me one thing. Would you like to be a guy who goes back to jail or to the hospital? Hmm? So take your medication and if you do fine, we’ll reduce them.
Pat: Nikki’s waiting for me to get in shape and get my life in order, and then she’s going to be with me. And that’s better than any medication.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Pat, there’s a possibility, and I want you to be prepared for it, that she may not return. True love is about letting her go and seeing if she returns. In the meantime, if you listen to that song, I don’t want you to fall apart. So get a strategy, okay? You need one.
Pat: Let me just say something, I’m going to say something.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Okay.
Pat: This is what I believe to be true. This is what I learned in the hospital. You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Work on a strategy, okay?
Pat: Alright.
[Patel gets up to see Pat out of the office]
Pat: Hey, my friend Ronnie’s having this party on Sunday night and it’s like a real hoity-toity thing and his wife, Veronica’s a real stickler for, I don’t know, my mom got this Gap outfit she wants me to wear, but I want to wear a jersey that my brother, Jake, got me from the Eagles.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Which jersey?
Pat: DeSean Jackson.
Dr. Cliff Patel: DeSean Jackson is the man.
Pat: Well, that settles that.
[Pat arrives at Ronnie’s house wearing the football jersey, as he waits for the door to open he quickly turns and runs down the front porch stairs, Ronnie opens the door and catches him walking off]
Ronnie: Pat! What are you doing?
Pat: I got to go, man.
Ronnie: Why?
Pat: I can’t stay, come on. I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have worn this.
Ronnie: Dude, you’re fine. I like that jersey. I wish I was wearing that jersey.
Pat: I feel like an idiot.
Ronnie: Are you comfortable?
Pat: Veronica’s not going to like it.
Ronnie: Get over here.
Pat: Plus you got a tie on.
Ronnie: Don’t worry about it, you’re the guest of honor. You come however you want to come.
Pat: Really?
Ronnie: Get over here.
[Ronnie brings Pat into the house]
Ronnie: DeSean Jackson’s in the house!
[we see Veronica in another room holding her baby]
Veronica: You mean rookie of the year?
Ronnie: Yeah!
[to the baby]
Veronica: DeSean Jackson? DeSean Jackson?
[she notices Pat walking into the room]
Veronica: Oh, you wore a jersey to dinner.
Ronnie: Isn’t it awesome?
Veronica: Not for dinner.
Ronnie: Look, he got us flowers.
Veronica: Oh! Oh, that’s sweet. That’s sweet, Pat. That’s lovely.
Ronnie: And wine.
Pat: Hey. Look at the baby
Veronica: Hey.
[as Ronnie shows Pat his den]
Ronnie: Check this out. We just redid the whole thing.
Pat: Wow! Tremendous.
Ronnie: Isn’t it great?
Pat: Tremendous.
Ronnie: Yeah, man. I’m thinking of redoing it again.
Pat: Why?
Ronnie: Because.
Pat: got to be making a lot of paper to do that.
Ronnie: Yeah, we’re doing alright, man. I can’t complain.
Pat: Isn’t the market down, though?
Ronnie: It is down, but you know, she wants more, so I’m giving her more, man.
Pat: Hey, you know my dad lost his pension.
Ronnie: I’m sorry, man.
Pat: Yeah.
Ronnie: A lot of people. My uncle, too.
Pat: Really?
Ronnie: Yeah, but you know what? No disrespect, it’s not personal, but this is the time to strike. You start snapping up commercial real estate, cheap, flip it over, you flip it over and that’s when you make the money. But the pressure, it’s like…
[Ronnie glances around making sure Veronica can’t hear]
Pat: You okay?
[Ronnie whispers]
Ronnie: I’m not okay. Don’t tell anybody. Listen to me. I feel like I’m getting crushed and…
Pat: Crushed by what?
Ronnie: Everything. The family, the baby, the job, the fucking dicks at work. And it’s like, you know, like I’m trying to do this, you know, and then I’m like suffocating.
[Ronnie covers his face with his hand]
Pat: Holy shit.
Ronnie: You can’t be happy all the time.
Pat: Who told you can’t be happy?
Ronnie: It’s alright. You just do your best, you have no choice.
Pat: That’s not true at all.
Ronnie: You just can’t.
Pat: Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie!
[as the doorbell rings]
Ronnie: I hope you’re okay with Veronica’s sister coming over. You okay with that?
Pat: Who?
Ronnie: Veronica’s sister.
Pat: Tiffany.
Ronnie: Tiffany.
Pat: Tiffany and Tommy?
Ronnie: Yeah. I mean, just Tiffany.
Pat: What happened to Tommy?
Ronnie: He died.
Pat: Tommy died?
Ronnie: Cops die.
Pat: How did he die?
Ronnie: Please, don’t bring it up.
Pat: No, how did he die?
Ronnie: I just said don’t…
[at that moment Tiffany walks into the room]
Tiffany: How did who die?
[Tiffany walks up to Ronnie]
Ronnie: Hey, Tiffany! This is Pat. Pat, my sister-in-law Tiffany.
[Pat and Tiffany face each other and look at each other for a moment]
Pat: You look nice.
Tiffany: Thank you.
Pat: I’m not flirting with you.
Tiffany: Oh, I didn’t think you were.
Pat: I just see that you made an effort and I’m going to be better with my wife, I’m working on that. I want to acknowledge her beauty. I never used to do that. I do that now. Because we’re going to be better than ever, Nikki. Just practicing. How did Tommy die?
[Tiffany looks stunned and behind her Ronnie shakes his head in disbelief]
Pat: What about your job?
Tiffany: I just got fired, actually.
Pat: Oh, really? How? I mean, I’m sorry. How did that happen?
Tiffany: Does it really matter?
[Pat and Tiffany stare at each other]
Veronica: Baby, how’s it going?
Ronnie: Great, great.
Veronica: Everyone having fun?
[as Veronica and Ronnie talk in the background, Pat stares at Tiffany, he stares at her necklace and her hand then back at her face]
Veronica: We’re going to go on a tour now. We’re going to go on a tour, come on.
[to Pat]
Tiffany: Let’s go see the house.
[Tiffany turns and starts walking off but looks intensely back over her shoulder at Pat]
Ronnie: Come on, guys, let’s go for the tour.
Veronica: I’ve been planning this forever. I love our house. I love our house. I’m really excited about it.
[Veronica shows them a sliver frame mounted on the wall]
Veronica: Guess what it is.
Pat: Oh, it’s a television.
Ronnie: Nope.
Tiffany: It’s a computer screen.
Veronica: Just keep going, keep going, keep going.
Pat: It’s a brick oven, it’s a brick oven.
Tiffany: It’s a light. It’s a…
Veronica: Ooh, ooh! Warmer, warmer, warmer. Don’t think so hard. Don’t think so hard. Don’t think so hard.
Tiffany: It’s a drawer at a morgue where they pull out dead bodies and shoot them with formaldehyde.
Pat: Where would the dead body, where would the body go, though? Because the outside…
Tiffany: It’s a joke!
[Veronica lights the silver frame]
Veronica: It’s a fireplace.
Tiffany: In the middle of the wall?
[Veronica shows off the iPod docking station mounted on the wall]
Veronica: We have a port in every room. Give me an iPod.
Pat: I don’t have an iPod. I don’t have a phone
Veronica: Who doesn’t have an iPod?
Pat: Well, I don’t have an iPod. I don’t even have a phone. They won’t let me make any calls. They think I’m going to call Nikki.
Ronnie: Don’t worry about it. Don’t focus on that.
Pat: I would call Nikki.
Ronnie: I’m actually going to give you one of my iPods. I have an old one.
[to Ronnie]
Veronica: Give me your iPod. Give it to me.
[Ronnie hands the iPod to her]
Veronica: Thank you, baby, thank you.
[Veronica puts the iPod into the docking station]
Veronica: Look, look, look!
Tiffany: Of all the rooms there are iPod ports in, I’m happy you brought us into the bathroom.
Veronica: I can play music for the baby in any room.
Pat: Can you play “Ride the Lightning” by Metallica?
[Veronica looks at Pat not sure what to say]
[later as they sit down to dinner]
Ronnie: Pat was a history sub at the high school, Tiffany. Ask him about any President, he knows them all.
Pat: Here’s a fun fact. You know where the term ‘OK’ comes from?
Veronica: No. No, I don’t.
Ronnie: Where?
Pat: Well, Martin Van Buren, the eighth President of the United States of America, is from Kinderhook, New York…
Veronica: Oh.
Pat: …and he was part of a club, a men’s club, called Old Kinderhook. And if you were cool,
you were in the club, they’d say, “That guy’s OK.” Because he was in the Old Kinderhooks.
Ronnie: Really?
Pat: Yeah. Pretty cool, right?
Ronnie: That’s interesting.
Veronica: You know, Tiffany’s been doing this dance thing for years and she’s real good at it. She’s going to be competing at the Ben Franklin Hotel.
Pat: Oh, really? My wife loves dance. Nikki loves dance.
[to Veronica]
Tiffany: Why do you have to talk about me like that?
Veronica: I’m just bragging about you. Can’t I brag about my little sister?
Tiffany: Don’t talk about me in the third person.
Veronica: Please, give a break.
Tiffany: I’m right here.
Veronica: Just be nice. Just be nice.
Pat: Wow, wow, wow. Fascinating.
Tiffany: Sorry. I don’t want to be mean.
Veronica: I know. I know, I know.
Tiffany: What meds are you on?
Pat: Me? None. I used to be on Lithium and Seroquel and Abilify, but I don’t take them anymore, no. They make me foggy and they also make me bloated.
Tiffany: Yeah, I was on Xanax and Effexor, but I agree, I wasn’t as sharp, so I stopped.
Pat: You ever take Klonopin?
Tiffany: Klonopin? Yeah!
Pat: Right?
Tiffany: Jesus!
Pat: It’s like, what?
Tiffany: Yeah.
Pat: What day is it?
[Tiffany laughs]
Pat: How about Trazodone?
Tiffany: Trazodone!
Pat: Oh, it flattens you out. I mean, you are done. It takes the light right out of your eyes.
Tiffany: God, I bet it does.
[there’s a moment’s awkward silence, then Tiffany stands up]
Tiffany: I’m tired. I want to go.
Pat: No. No, no, no, no. We haven’t even finished the salad yet, or the duck. I made the Fire and Ice cake.
Tiffany: I said I’m tired.
[to Pat]
Tiffany: Are you going to walk me home or what?
Pat: You mean me?
Tiffany: Yeah, you. Are you going to walk me home?
Pat: You have poor social skills. You have a problem.
Tiffany: I have a problem?
Pat: Mm-hmm.
Tiffany: You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things. You scare people.
Pat: I tell the truth. But you’re, you’re mean.
Tiffany: What? I’m not telling the truth?
Ronnie: Um, maybe I should drive them home separately?
Veronica: No. You can drive them both home. Now.
[Pat stands up]
Tiffany: Stop talking about me in third person.
Veronica: You can take, you can take Tiffany home first.
Tiffany: You love it when I have problems. You love it, Von, because then you can be the good one. Just say it.
Veronica: No, I don’t. I don’t. I just wanted to have a nice, I just wanted to have a nice dinner.
Tiffany: Oh, God!
Veronica: What is your problem?!
Tiffany: Nothing’s my problem! I’m fine. I’m tired, I want to go.
[to Pat]
Tiffany: Come on, are you ready?
Pat: Yeah.
Tiffany: Okay.
Veronica: You really, you really want to go right now?
Tiffany: Yes, I really want to go! It’s been great.
Ronnie: Okay, guys, the baby is sleeping!
Tiffany: Sorry. I don’t want to wake up the baby. Bye.
[Tiffany walks off]
Ronnie: Sorry, man.
[Pat nods his head and follow Tiffany]
[Pat walks Tiffany home in silence until they reach her house]
Tiffany: This is me. Listen, I haven’t dated since before my marriage so I don’t really remember how this works.
Pat: How what works?
Tiffany: I saw the way you were looking at me, Pat. You felt it, I felt it, don’t lie. We’re not liars like they are. I live in the addition around back, which is completely separate from my parents house, so there’s no chance of them walking in on us. I hate the fact that you wore a football jersey to dinner because I hate football, but you can fuck me if you turn the lights off, okay?
[Pat looks speechless for a moment]
Pat: How old are you?
Tiffany: Old enough to have a marriage end and not wind up in a mental hospital.
Pat: Look, I had a really good time tonight and I think you’re really pretty. But I’m married, okay?
[he holds up his hand to show his wedding ring]
Tiffany: You’re married?
[Tiffany holds up her hand to show her wedding ring]
Tiffany: So am I.
Pat: No, that’s confusing. He’s dead.
[Tiffany looks like she’s about to cry then she embraces Pat and starts crying]
Pat: Wait, what? What’s happening?
[Tiffany embraces Pat closer as she cries]
Pat: Oh, my God. Hey.
[suddenly Tiffany pushes Pat away and slaps him hard across the face, then she turns and walks off towards her house]
[later that night as Pat goes home, as he walks through the kitchen he looks unsettled]
Dolores: Are you okay? Ronnie called. Hey, is that make-up on your shirt?
Pat: I don’t know, mom.
Pat Sr.: What happened over there?
Pat: When am I going to get a phone?
[Pat walks upstairs to his room]
Pat Sr.: You’ll get a phone in due time.
[to Dolores]
Pat Sr.: What happened?
Dolores: Pat!
[Pat goes to his room, takes his Jersey off, lies on his bed and looks at his wedding ring, he then starts searching his room for something]
[Pat walks into his parents room as they sleep and whispers]
Pat: Mom! Mom! Mom, I can’t find my wedding video. Mom, wake up.
Dolores: What is it?
Pat: Where’s my wedding video?
[Pat Sr. wakes up]
Pat Sr.: It’s after three o’clock! What are you doing?
[Pat and Dolores walk into another room]
Pat: I looked in here, but this is all your sewing shit up here, for your sewing and everything. Did you put it up here?
Dolores: What about in your father’s study?
[shouting from his bedroom]
Pat Sr.: Don’t go in my study.
Pat: Dad, not now!
[in Pat Sr.’s study]
Pat: Would you put it in here? It makes no sense for you to put it in here.
Pat Sr.: Patty, what are you doing?
[Pat looks through the video tapes on the shelf]
Pat: He’s got all his Eagles videos but not one video of my wedding! Is it here? I mean…
Pat Sr.: Patty!
Dolores: It’s probably in the attic.
[shouting from his bedroom]
Pat Sr.: Are you going in my study?
[walking towards the attic]
Pat: It feels to me like you want to hide my wedding video.
Dolores: No one’s hiding anything from you.
Pat: You think I can’t handle it!
[Pat searches through the boxes in the attic for his wedding video]
Dolores: Please stop yelling!
Pat: I’m not yelling, mom! I’m just frustrated because I should have my fucking wedding video!
Dolores: Pat! Pat! You’re going to wake everybody up!
Pat: I looked over there! I already looked all over there!
Dolores: Pat! Calm down, Pat.
Pat: It’s not here! I’m not calming down! I don’t give a fuck who hears, I’m not calming down! Anybody can wake up! I’m not ashamed of it!
[opening the blinds on the attic window]
Dolores: Pat!
Pat: I’m not ashamed of it!
Dolores: Stop it!
Pat: Let the whole neighborhood wake up! I don’t care!
Dolores: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Pat: No, mom!
[as Pat continues to yell and become even more erratic, Pat Sr. runs into the attic]
What’s going on? What?
Pat: I want it! It…
Pat Sr.: Hey!
[Pat continues to yell]
Pat: It’s my wedding! It’s my wedding video!
Dolores: Pat! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[we see that several lights come on from the houses in the neighborhood]
Pat: I can’t watch my wedding video, but I can hear the fucking song in my head!
[Pat starts crying hysterically and grabbing his head in his hands as he has flashbacks to his wife getting caught naked in the shower with the history teacher and Pat beating him up]
[as Pat is sobbing, Dolores comes up from behind to hug him but he accidently elbows her hard in the face and knocks her down]
Pat: Mom? Mom!
[Pat Sr. comes running into the attic]
Pat Sr.: What the fuck you doing?! You hit your mother?!
[Pat Sr. starts slapping Pat]
Pat: No, no, no, no, no!
Dolores: Stop it!
[Pat Sr. pushes Pat onto the nearby bed as he continues to hit him and Pat hits him back]
Pat: Get off me, Dad!
[Pat Sr. slaps Pat hard in the face again]
Dolores: Stop hitting him! Stop hitting him!
[Pat tries to push his father off of him]
Pat Sr.: I’m not hitting him! He’s hitting me!
[Dolores grabs hold of Pat Sr. trying to pull him off Pat]
Pat: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!
[at that moment their doorbell rings]
[the doorbell continues to ring as Pat Sr. goes downstairs to answer the door]
Officer Keogh: Police! Open the door, please. Open up
[Pat Sr. opens the door]
Officer Keogh: Mr. Solatano, I got a lot of calls. People in the neighborhood are scared. I got to come in.
[Keogh goes upstairs]
Officer Keogh: How are we doing in here, huh? We’ve had a lot of reports from your neighbors, alright? We got a lot of phone calls.
[Pat stands up and Pat Sr. tries to restrain him]
Pat: Nikki is being manipulated and controlled, you have to talk to her.
Officer Keogh: Hey, sit down. You’re the one with the problem here.
[Pat Sr. forces Pat to sit]
Pat Sr.: Sit down. You got to stop with these crazy theories. He’s a cop! What are you doing?
Dolores: It’s a medication problem, but he’s fine. Look.
Officer Keogh: Oh yeah? He’s fine now? You want to send him back to Baltimore? We know all about the explosion at the psychiatrist’s office.
Dolores: What?
Pat: What explosion? No! Cliff is lying, that’s not true! He’s not allowed to talk about that.
[the doorbell rings]
Dolores: Jesus Christ, who’s that?
[Pat Sr. goes downstairs to answer the door]
Pat Sr.: Keep an eye on him.
[Pat Sr. opens the door and it’s Ricky D’Angelo holding his camera]
Ricky D’Angelo: Is this a bipolar episode?
[Pat Sr. pushes Ricky away]
Pat Sr.: Get out of here! Little fucking idiot! Get out of here!
[Ricky runs off yelling]
Ricky D’Angelo: Someone, help me! Help me!
[back in the house, Pat tries to get Keogh to understand about his outburst]
Pat: You can’t tell Nikki about this, Officer.
Officer Keogh: Look, I got to make out a report. She can see it by law.
[Pat stands]
Pat: No, no, no!
Officer Keogh: Hey! Hey, sit down!
Pat: No, no, no. No, Listen, sir.
Dolores: Pat! Pat!
[outside, Pat Sr. has followed Ricky to his house]
Ricky D’Angelo: He’s chasing me! This guy’s chasing me! Help me!
[as Ricky goes inside his house and slams the door shut, Pat Sr. knocks on the door; back at the Solatano house]
Officer Keogh: Sit down!
[Pat sits down with Dolores]
Pat: I’m sorry. I could just write you a letter and you could just let me have five minutes, explaining how much better I’m doing.
Officer Keogh: There’s a court order against you, five hundred feet. Listen to me!
[back at Ricky’s house after the front door has been opened by his mother]
Pat Sr.: …and I’ll take that fucking camera and I’m going to break it over your fucking head, then I’m going to come back and interview you about what it’s like to get that fucking camera broken over your head!
[he sees Ricky trying to hide a smile]
Pat Sr.: You, what are you laughing about?
[to Ricky’s mother]
Pat Sr.: I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Ricky D’Angelo’s Mother: I’m sorry.
Pat Sr.: Okay.
[Ricky’s mother shuts the door and Pat Sr. walks back to his house, the neighborhood standing outside start making catcalls at Pat Sr.]
Pat Sr.: Go back to sleep. The party’s over. Show’s over.
[as Pat Sr. re-enters his house, Pat is still upstairs talking to Keogh]
Pat: This is not a reflection of where I’m at. You can’t, please, you can’t tell her any of this! You can’t tell Nikki about this.
Officer Keogh: You need to pipe down.
[Pat Sr. comes upstairs]
Pat Sr.: Everything alright?
Dolores: Who was at the door?
Pat: Who was that, dad?
Pat Sr.: It was that kid with the camera.
Officer Keogh: Good luck. I got to write this up.
[Keogh turns to leave]
Pat: Come on, don’t write it up! I don’t want her to see this.
Pat Sr.: It’s okay, everything is okay. We’re fine, thank you, we appreciate it. Thank you.
[Keogh walks downstairs to leave]
[in the morning, Pat decides to take his pills, he replaces the broken window in his room and then goes out for a run wearing the garbage bag over his sweat suit, he looks at Tiffany’s house as he passes and at that moment Tiffany runs past Pat]
Tiffany: Hey!
Pat: Woh! Hey! What the hell?
[Pat runs ahead of Tiffany and she runs behind him]
Tiffany: What happened to your face?
Pat: Weight lifting accident.
Tiffany: That sounds like bullshit. Why’d you run by my house? Did our little conversation get you upset last night?
Pat: Hey, this is my route, okay? Just back off!
Tiffany: This is my neighborhood. You just ran by my house.
Pat: I like to run by myself, okay?
Tiffany: Me too.
[Pat stops and turns]
Pat: Hey, I like to run alone! Will you stop? Okay?
Tiffany: What?
Pat: I’m running here!
Tiffany: Me too!
Pat: Well then, why don’t you run somewhere else? There’s a fucking ton of roads to run in! What are you trying to do?
Tiffany: I like this road. This is my neighborhood.
Pat: Oh, come on, please!
Tiffany: Calm down, crazy.
[Pat spits]
Tiffany: Why…?
[Tiffany spits too, then Pat quickly turns and runs off in order to get away from Tiffany]
[as Pat continues to run, thinking he’s finally ditched Tiffany, she suddenly reappears running from another alley behind Pat]
Tiffany: Hey!
Pat: What the fuck?! I’m married!
Tiffany: So am I!
Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband’s dead!
Tiffany: Where is your wife?
Pat: You’re crazy!
Tiffany: I’m not the one that just got out of that hospital in Baltimore.
Pat: I’m not the big slut!
[Tiffany stops running and bends over, Pat stops and walks over to her]
Pat: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Tiffany: I was a big slut, but I’m not anymore. There’s always going to be a part of me that’s sloppy and dirty, but I like that, with all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself, fucker?!
[she pushes Pat]
Tiffany: Can you forgive? Are you any good at that?
[she turns and runs off]
[later that day, Pat is sat in Patel’s office having another therapy session]
Dr. Cliff Patel: You seemed to have trouble last night.
Pat: Let me just set the record straight about last night. Hurting my mother was a mistake and I hate myself for it, and I hate my illness and I want to control it. My father, on the other hand, had no trouble slapping the shit out of me last night, which I did not return because I could’ve killed him and I didn’t. He’s sixty-five years old. You don’t think I could’ve beat the shit out of him? I mean…
Dr. Cliff Patel: He was scared for your mother and you hurt him as well.
Pat: Yes, last night was a mess. Okay? And I think he probably just tried to do his best.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Pat, you have to have a strategy. I told you earlier. You need to recognize these feelings coming to you, otherwise you will be sent back to Baltimore. So when you get these feelings, you need to get to a quieter place, be at peace with yourself, however you can.
Pat: Yeah, but that’s easier said than done.
Dr. Cliff Patel: You have to do it. You have no choice. Excelsior.
Pat: Yeah, Excelsior. Listen, I have a letter I want you to give Nikki, okay?
Dr. Cliff Patel: No.
Pat: Why?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Because you have a restraining order.
Pat: What good are you, man?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Why did you have this overwhelming urgency to see your wedding video last night?
Pat: Oh, I don’t know, because I’m married and I haven’t seen my wife in eight and a half months?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Maybe you think that Nikki’s not around and Tiffany’s an attractive girl and if you get drawn towards Tiffany, you will spoil your chances of getting Nikki back to you?
Pat: Not bad, Doctor Jones. But I don’t think I’m going to blow it with Nikki because Tiffany’s a slut.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Why is she a slut?
Pat: After the dinner at Ronnie’s, she said, quote, “We can go to the back house and you can fuck me as long as we turn the lights out.” Unquote. And she still wears her wedding ring. So she’s a loyal, married-to-a-dead-guy slut.
Dr. Cliff Patel: Maybe she just needs a friend and she thought if she offers you sex, it will be easier for you to become friends with her.
Pat: She said she’s not a whore anymore, but she likes that part of herself along with all the other parts of herself and can I say the same?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Can you?
Pat: Is that, you’re asking me, you’re really asking me that question?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Yes.
Pat: With all my crazy sad shit? What, are you fucking nuts?
Dr. Cliff Patel: Pat, the silver lining thing is yours. I’m just giving back your words to you.
Pat: This “crazy sad shit”, as you call it, made you a happier, calmer person with a beautiful positive philosophy of going outdoors, working out, and reading books.
Pat: No, no. Not the books.
Dr. Cliff Patel: You said Nikki’s friends with Ronnie, Veronica and Tiffany. So if you become friends with Tiffany, Nikki will think that you’re a kind, generous, large-hearted person, who helps people in need, who is basically thriving. So if you help Tiffany, it will be good for you.
[next day, Pat is out on his usual run when he looks over at Tiffany’s house when he runs past it, suddenly Tiffany runs past him]
Tiffany: Hey!
Pat: Woh!
[she starts running behind him]
Pat: How do you know when I run?
Tiffany: I wanted to clarify something. I just want us to be friends.
[Pat doesn’t answer]
Tiffany: Did you hear what I said? Why are you giving me such a hard time?
Pat: No, I’m not giving you a hard time.
Tiffany: I don’t know how to act with you when you do this shit.
[as Pat runs over towards a diner he stops running]
Pat: You want to have dinner at this diner?
[Tiffany pauses for a moment as she looks at Pat]
Tiffany: Pick me up at seven thirty.
[she turns and runs off]
[later that night, Pat walks to Tiffany’s to pick her up for their date, as he waits on the sidewalk outside her house Tiffany walks over to him]
Pat: Happy Halloween.
Tiffany: Hi.
[they walk over to the diner and get seated by the waitress, Pat looks at the menu and orders to the waitress]
Pat: I’m going to have a bowl of your Raisin Bran.
Waitress: Great!
Tiffany: Tea.
Waitress: Be right back.
[the waitress takes their menus and walks away]
Pat: You look nice.
Tiffany: Thanks.
[the waitress comes back with their order]
Waitress: Raisin Bran, and some milk for you.
[she puts Tiffany’s tea in front of her]
Tiffany: Thank you.
[the waitress walks away and Pat pours his cereal and milk into the bowl, he looks over at Tiffany]
Pat: Do you want to share this?
Tiffany: Why did you order Raisin Bran?
[she takes a spoon and eats some of his cereal]
Pat: Why did you order tea?
Tiffany: Because you ordered Raisin Bran.
Pat: I ordered Raisin Bran because I didn’t want there to be any mistaking this for a date.
Tiffany: It can still be a date if you order Raisin Bran.
Pat: It’s not a date.
Pat: So how’s your thing going, your dancing thing?
Tiffany: It’s good. How’s your restraining order?
Pat: I wouldn’t actually call the restraining order my thing, but getting back with Nikki is, and I’ve been doing pretty well. Except for a minor incident at the doctor’s office.
Tiffany: And the so-called incident with the weights.
Pat: Yeah. That was a thing with my parents. I wish I could just explain it all in a letter to Nikki because it was minor and I could just explain it and let her know that I’m actually not out of control and that I’m actually, I’m doing really well.
[they stare at each other for a moment]
Tiffany: I can get a letter to Nikki. I see her sometimes with my sister.
[Pat looks at her for a moment]
Pat: It would be so amazing if you could get a letter to Nikki from me.
Tiffany: I’d have to hide it from Veronica. She’s not into breaking the law, which this letter would definitely be doing.
Pat: But you would do it?
Tiffany: I’d have to be careful. I’m already on thin ice with my family, you should hear how I lost my job.
Pat: How did you lose your job?
Tiffany: By having sex with everybody in the office.
Pat: Everybody?
Tiffany: I was very depressed after Tommy died. It was a lot of people.
Pat: We don’t have to talk about it.
Tiffany: Thanks.
Pat: How many were there?
Tiffany: Eleven.
Pat: Wow.
Tiffany: I know.
Pat: I’m not going to talk about it anymore.
Tiffany: Okay.
Pat: Can I ask you one more question? Were there any women?
Tiffany: Yes.
Pat: Really?
Tiffany: Yes.
Pat: What was that like?
Tiffany: Hot.
Pat: Jesus Christ. Was it like older women, a sexy teacher who wants to seduce you…?
Tiffany: Made me sit on her lap and do things? Yeah.
Pat: What? You sat on her lap?
Tiffany: Mm-hmm.
Pat: She told you what to do?
Tiffany: Mm-hmm.
Pat: Oh, my God. Nikki hated when I talked like this. Made me feel like such a pervert. Maybe we should change the subject.
Tiffany: I don’t mind it.
Pat: You don’t, do you.
Tiffany: No. But then people were getting into fights in the parking lot at work, and in the bathroom, and the boss called me in to his office and tried to pin it all on me. So I accused him of harassment and then they fired me, sent me home and put me on some meds.
Pat: I get it.
Pat: The song that was playing when my wife was in the shower with the history teacher…
Tiffany: I heard about that.
Pat: It was my wedding song and when I hear it, I go kind of crazy. Sometimes I hear it when it’s not even playing.
Tiffany: Wow.
Pat: Yeah. So they put me on medication, which I feel ashamed of.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Pat: So I know.
Tiffany: You do.
Pat: I just got to get a strategy, you know?
Tiffany: Me too.
Pat: We’d better get back to the letter.
Tiffany: Yeah, let’s get back to the letter.
Pat: What if you told Nikki when Veronica was in the bathroom?
Tiffany: Yes. Yes, that could work. I love that.
Pat: Oh, my God. I’m going to go home and write the letter right now.
[Pat begins to get up from his seat]
Tiffany: Well, can I at least finish my tea?
Pat: Wait, what?
Tiffany: My tea. Can I finish it?
Pat: Wait a minute. Did Veronica tell Nikki about our dinner? Why would she do that? Was it a test?
[Pat sits back down]
Tiffany: I kind of got that feeling, yeah.
Pat: Goddamn it. I knew it. It was a test. How did I do? I think I did pretty well.
Tiffany: Yeah, she said you were cool, basically.
Pat: Basically? Was I some percentage not cool?
Tiffany: No, she said you were cool, but you know?
Pat: No, I don’t know.
Tiffany: Sort of how you are. It’s fine, relax.
Pat: What do you mean? How am I? What does that mean?
Tiffany: Sort of like me.
Pat: Sort of like you?! I hope to God she didn’t tell Nikki that.
Tiffany: Why?
Pat: Because, it’s just not right, lumping you and I together! It’s, I mean, it’s just wrong. And Nikki wouldn’t like that. Especially after all the shit you just told me.
Tiffany: You think that I’m crazier than you.
[Pat laughs]
Pat: Because, well, we’re different, I mean…
[Tiffany gives him a look of disgust]
Tiffany: Oh, my God. Ugh. You’re killing me. You know what? Forget I offered to help you. Forget the entire fucking idea. Because that must have been fucking crazy because I am so much crazier than you.
Pat: Keep your voice down.
[Tiffany raises her voice and starts acting out]
Tiffany: I’m just the crazy slut with a dead husband!
[she does a fake crazy laugh, making the other diners turn to look at her]
Tiffany: Forget it!
Pat: Shut the fuck up.
[Tiffany stands and sweeps the dishes off their table, breaking everything]
Tiffany: Fuck you! You shut the fuck up!
[Tiffany walks off and Pat stands]
Pat: Tiffany! Hey! Tiffany!
[the diners applaud and cheer as Tiffany leaves the diner]
[as Tiffany leaves the diner, Pat grabs his wallet from the table, through the window Tiffany holds up her middle fingers and walks off, Pat goes to leave when the waitress holds up his bill]
Waitress: Slow down, Raisin Bran.
[outside Tiffany is walking off when Pat catches up to her]
Pat: Hey! Hey, come on. Look, I don’t think you’re crazy, alright?
Tiffany: Yes, you do!
Pat: No, I don’t.
Tiffany: You told your therapist that you were in a superior mental illness category, didn’t you?
Pat: What? Hey, calm down! Hey…
[Tiffany stops and faces Pat]
Tiffany: Just leave me alone!
Pat: Can I just explain myself, please? I didn’t want Nikki to think that I was associated with that kind of sexual behavior because I’ve never done anything like that, okay?
Tiffany: You may not have experienced the shit that I did. But you loved hearing about it, didn’t you? You are afraid to be alive, you’re afraid to live. You’re a hypocrite. You’re a conformist. You’re a liar. I opened up to you and you judged me.
[Tiffany grabs hold of Pat’s jacket collar and starts shaking him]
Tiffany: You are an asshole. You are an asshole!
Pat: Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
[Tiffany starts yelling]
Tiffany: Get off of me! Get off! You’re harassing me!
Pat: Hey, hey!
Tiffany: He’s harassing me!
Pat: Shut up!
Tiffany: Get off!
[a nearby pedestrian steps in]
Movie-goer: Man, take it easy. Dude, relax.
Pat: Bro, get off of me.
[Tiffany starts yelling]
Tiffany: He’s harassing me!!
Pat: Bro, get off of me, dude.
Tiffany: He’s harassing me!!
Pat: Hey, hey, stop, stop.
[at that point Pat starts hearing his wedding song in his head, a group of boys surround him and start taunting him and Pat starts to get angry]
[as Pat is getting taunted by the kids and is about to lose it, the police show up]
Officer Keogh: What are you doing? Come on. What are…? What are you doing? What are you doing to these kids?
[Keogh grabs hold of Pat’s arm]
Officer Keogh: Are you being a punk, huh, on Halloween with these kids? You want to go back to Baltimore? Is that what you want to do?
Pat: I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t…
Officer Keogh: Come on, Solatano! What are these kids doing to you? You’re begging to go back to Baltimore, right? What’s the matter with you, huh? You’re sick.
[Tiffany watches this and starts to feel sorry for Pat, she walks up to Keogh]
Tiffany: It’s the kids! It’s the kids! Honestly He didn’t do anything, it was all the kids. They started it, he didn’t do anything.
[Keogh walks up to the crowd gathered to push them back]
[Tiffany turns to Pat]
Tiffany: Come on, man. Come here. What are you going to do about that song? Huh? You going to go your whole life scared of that song? It’s a song, don’t make it a monster. Come on, breath. There’s no song. There’s no song. There’s no song playing.
[Pat starts to calm down as he listens to her, he takes a few breaths and the song in his head stops playing]
Tiffany: That’s it. That’s it. Do it more. There you go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Pat: I’m sorry.
Tiffany: I took it too far.
[Keogh interrupts Tiffany and Pat after she’s calmed Pat down]
Officer Keogh: Hey, is he messing with you?
Tiffany: No, no. This was just a joke. This is a joke I started.
Officer Keogh: Don’t defend the abuser.
Tiffany: I’m not! It was a joke.
Officer Keogh: There’s a restraining order on this guy.
Tiffany: I know! I have a stupid sense of humor.
Officer Keogh: That’s not a good thing to do.
Tiffany: Well, I’m fucked up. What can I tell you? I’m sorry!
Officer Keogh: You’re Tommy’s widow, right?
Tiffany: Yes, I’m Tommy’s crazy whore widow, minus the whore thing for the most part.
Officer Keogh: You’re a funny girl. You want to get a drink sometime?
[Tiffany turns and walks away]
Officer Keogh: What did I say?
Pat: She doesn’t do that anymore.
[as Tiffany is walking home, looking upset, Pat walks behind and catches up to her]
Pat: I’m sorry about what I said in the diner.
Tiffany: I know. I know you didn’t mean it.
Pat: I didn’t mean it at all.
Tiffany: I know, you say shit you don’t mean all the time.
Pat: All the time.
Tiffany: I’ll still give your letter to Nikki, don’t worry.
[Pat stops as Tiffany turns and walks the driveway toward her garage]
Pat: Wow. I really appreciate that, Tiffany.
Tiffany: I know you do.
Pat: You do?
Tiffany: Yeah, sure.
Pat: I’ll see you tomorrow? With the letter?
[Pat smiles as he watches Tiffany go inside]
[the next morning, Pat Sr. walks into his living room with some envelopes in his hand]
Randy: I’ll bet I know what happened if only one is missing. Either Dolores or Pat needed an envelope and one of them took it. That’s the only answer.
Pat Sr.: No, no, no.
[Dolores is in the kitchen preparing food]
Pat Sr.: Dolores, somebody was in my study. Who took one of my envelopes? Somebody took an envelope.
Dolores: Maybe we should call the FBI.
Pat Sr.: Now, don’t make fun. I’m serio…it’s serious. What FBI? Come on, let’s take a
look. I’ll show you what this is. I’m going to just explain to you something. I mean, you know what I’m doing, honey. This everything, like this. I got this, it all corresponds.
[Pat enters carrying an envelope]
Pat: Dad, I borrowed one of your envelopes. I hope that’s not a problem
Pat Sr.: No, it’s not okay! It’s not okay! You got to ask.
[Dolores mocks Pat Sr.]
Dolores: “Do not go in my study or I will eat you!”
[Randy laughs]
Pat Sr.: No. It’s not funny, it’s not funny. What’s everybody making a joke out of this for?
Randy: Dolores, you are so beautiful!
Pat Sr.: This is a serious situation here.
[Randy hugs Dolores]
Pat Sr.: Stop that! Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop!
