The Social Network Quotes

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[Mark sitting alone in a conference room working on his laptop]
Marylin Delpy: What are you doing?
Mark Zuckerberg: Checking in to see how it’s going in Bosnia.
Marylin Delpy: Bosnia? They don’t have roads but they have Facebook.
[Mark doesn’t reply but continues typing on his laptop]
Marylin Delpy: You must really hate the Winklesvosses?
Mark Zuckerberg: I don’t hate anybody. The Winklevi aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft. They’re suing me because for the first time in their lives things didn’t work out the way it was supposed to for them.


[after finding out that Mark is expanding his website to Yale and Columbia]
Divya Narendra: I wanna hire a lawyer to file for injunctive relief and get this site taken down now!
Cameron Winklevoss: Look…
Divya Narendra: Every minute this site is up HarvardConnection becomes less valuable. I want an injunction, I want damages, I want punitive relief and I want him dead.
Cameron Winklevoss: Yeah, I want those things too.
Divya Narendra: Then why aren’t we doing anything about it? Because we’re gentlemen of Harvard?!
Cameron Winklevoss: No, because you’re not thinking how it’s gonna look.
Divya Narendra: How’s it gonna look?
Cameron Winklevoss: Like my brother and I are in skeleton costumes chasing the Karate Kid around the high school gym.


Cameron Winklevoss: There’s no such thing as Harvard Law.
Tyler Winklevoss: Wait…yeah, there is.
[Tyler goes to the bookshelf and gets a book out]
Tyler Winklevoss: Harvard Student Handbook. Every freshman is issued one of these and somewhere in this book it says…
Cameron Winklevoss: …you can’t steal from another student. This is what we needed.


Sean Parker: I don’t go to school.
Amelia Ritter: You’re kidding?
Sean Parker: No.
Amelia Ritter: Well, where did you go to school?
Sean Parker: William Taft Elementary, for a little while.
Amelia Ritter: Seriously? You’re not like fifteen years old or anything are you?
Sean Parker: No. Wait, you’re not like fifteen are you?
Amelia Ritter: No. So what do you do?
Sean Parker: I’m an entrepreneur.
Amelia Ritter: You’re unemployed.
Sean Parker: I wouldn’t say that.
Amelia Ritter: What would say?
Sean Parker: That I’m an entrepreneur.


Amelia Ritter: Well then, what was your latest entrepreneur?
Sean Parker: Well, I founded an internet company that let folks download and share music for free.
Amelia Ritter: Kind of like Napster?
Sean Parker: Exactly like Napster.
Amelia Ritter: What do you mean?
Sean Parker: I founded Napster.
Amelia Ritter: Sean Parker founded Napster.
Sean Parker: Nice to meet you.


Amelia Ritter: I just slept with Sean Parker?
Sean Parker: You just slept ‘on’ Sean Parker.
Amelia Ritter: You’re a zillionaire.
Sean Parker: Not technically.
Amelia Ritter: What are you?
Sean Parker: Broke. There’s not a lot of money in free music. Even less when you’re being sued by everyone who’s ever been to the Grammys.


Sean Parker: I went to check my email and there’s a website open on your computer.
Amelia Ritter: Yeah. After you passed out last night I went on TheFacebook for a little bit.
Sean Parker: What’s that?
Amelia Ritter: TheFacebook? Stanford’s had it for like two weeks now. It’s really awesome, except it’s freakishly addictive. Seriously, I’m on the thing like five times a day.
[goes back to the shower]
Sean Parker: Mind if I send myself and email?
Amelia Ritter: Yeah. Is everything okay?
Sean Parker: [to himself] Everything’s great. I just need to find…you, Mark Zuckerberg.


[waiting to see the President of Harvard]
Cameron Winklevoss: Never been in this building before.
Larry Summers’ Secretary: This building is a hundred years older than the country it’s in. So do be careful.
Tyler Winklevoss: We’re sitting in chairs!


[meeting with the President of Harvard, Larry Summers]
Larry Summers: You’re here because? Either of you can answer.
Cameron Winklevoss: Oh, I’m sorry sir. I thought you were reading the letter.
Larry Summers: I’ve read the letter.
Cameron Winklevoss: Well we came up with an idea for a website called HarvardConnection and we’ve since changed the name to ConnectU and Mark Zuckerberg stole that idea…
Larry Summers: I understand and I’m asking what you want me to do about it?
Cameron Winklevoss: Well sir, in the Harvard Student Handbook, which is distributed to each freshman, under the heading “Standards of Conduct in the Harvard Community” it says; “The college expects all students will be honest and forthcoming in their dealings with members in this community. Student are required to respect public and private ownership. And instances of theft, misappropriation or…
Larry Summers: Anne?
Anne: Yes, sir.
Larry Summers: [sarcastically] Punch me in the face.


Larry Summers: Have you tried dealing with the other student directly?
Cameron Winklevoss: Mr. Zuckerberg hasn’t been responding to any of our emails or phone calls for the last two weeks. He doesn’t answer when we knock on his door at Kirkland and the closest I’ve come to dealing with him face to face is when I saw him on the quad and chased him through Harvard Square.
Larry Summers: You chased him?
Cameron Winklevoss: I…I…I saw him and I know he saw me. I went after him and then he disappeared.


Larry Summers: I don’t see this as a University issue.
Tyler Winklevoss: Of course it’s a University issue. There’s a code of ethics and an honor code and he violated both.
Larry Summers: You enter into a code of ethics with the University, not with each other.
Tyler Winklevoss: I’m sorry President Summers, but what you just said makes no sense to me all.
Larry Summers: [sarcastically] I’m devastated by that.


Tyler Winklevoss: This idea is potentially worth millions of dollars.
Larry Summers: Millions?
Cameron Winklevoss: Yes.
Larry Summers: You must just be letting your imaginations run away with you.
Tyler Winklevoss: Sir I honestly don’t think you’re in any position to make that call.
Larry Summers: I was the U.S. Treasury Secretary. I’m in some position to make that call.
Tyler Winklevoss: Well…letting our imaginations run away with us is exactly what we were told to do in your freshman address.


Larry Summers: Everyone at Harvard is inventing something. Harvard undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than finding a job. So I suggest again that the two of you come up with a new project.
Cameron Winklevoss: I-I…I’m sorry sir, but that’s not the point.
Larry Summers: Please, arrive at the point.
Cameron Winklevoss: You don’t have to be an intellectual property expert to understand the difference between right and wrong.
Larry Summers: And you’re saying that I don’t?
Cameron Winklevoss: Of course I’m not saying that, sir.
Tyler Winklevoss: I’m saying that.


Larry Summers: Let me tell you something, Mr. Winklevoss, Mr. Winklevoss, since you’re on the subject of right and wrong. This action, this meeting, the two of you being here is wrong! It’s not worthy of Harvard, it’s not what Harvard saw in you. You don’t get special treatment.
Cameron Winklevoss: We never asked for…
Tyler Winklevoss: Wait…just start another project?
Larry Summers: If you have a…
Tyler Winklevoss: Like we’re making a diorama for the science fair?
Larry Summers: If you have a problem with that Mr. Winklevoss…
Cameron Winklevoss: We never asked for special treatment.
Larry Summers: The courts are always at your disposal. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Tyler Winklevoss: [quietly] Well, you could take the Harvard Student Handbook and shove it…
Cameron Winklevoss: Ty!


[as Cameron and Tyler leave Summers office, Tyler closes the door a little too hard and the door knob comes off in hand]
Tyler Winklevoss: Woops! Broke a three hundred and fifty year old door knob.
[drops it on the secretary’s desk]


[at the deposition with Eduardo and his lawyer]
Gretchen: At this point your thousand dollars was the only money that had been put into the company.
Eduardo Saverin: Yes.
Gretchen: How did you feel the meetings went?
Eduardo Saverin: They went terribly.
Gretchen: Why?
Eduardo Saverin: Mark was asleep.
Mark Zuckerberg: I was not asleep.
Eduardo Saverin: Can I rephrase my answer?
Gretchen: Um-hmm.
Eduardo Saverin: I wish he’d been asleep.


[during a meeting with an ad executive, Mark is making strange noises with his mouth]
Ad Executive: Excuse me for one second. What sound is he making? Is that like a tisk?
Mark Zuckerberg: It wasn’t a tisk. It was…
[makes the noise again with this mouth]
Mark Zuckerberg: …like a glottal stop. Almost a gag reflex.
Ad Executive: Guys, what is this?


[waiting to have a meeting with Sean Parker at a restaurant]
Eduardo Saverin: He’s twenty-five minutes late!
Mark Zuckerberg: He invented Napster when he was nineteen. He can be late.
Eduardo Saverin: He’s not a god.
Mark Zuckerberg: What is he?
Eduardo Saverin: He’s twenty-five minutes late.
Christy: I think Wardo’s jealous.


[back at the deposition]
Eduardo Saverin: I honestly wasn’t jealous. I was nervous.
Gretchen: Why?
Eduardo Saverin: Well, I didn’t know him at all. But I had done a search and I’d asked around and he struck me as kind of a…a wild card.


[back at the restaurant]
Christy: Why?
Eduardo Saverin: He crashed out of two pretty big internet companies in spectacular fashion. He’s had a reputation with drugs.
Mark Zuckerberg: He also founded the companies.
Eduardo Saverin: We don’t need him.


[at the deposition meeting referring to when they met Sean Parker]
Eduardo Saverin: From that point on it was a Sean-a-thon.



Sean Parker: I didn’t want to spend my twenty’s as a professional defender. Who knew the music industry doesn’t have a sense of humor. We tried to sell the company to pay the thirty five million they said we owed in royalties but I guess to them that was a little like selling a stolen car to pay for the stolen gas. So we said screw it, declare bankruptcy.


[referring back to what Sean Parker told them about his business ventures]
Eduardo Saverin: And then he went onto his second business venture, which was an online rolodex that he got thrown out of by case equity.


Sean Parker: And I wanted to do it nice this time. I put on a tie and I shined my shoes, but nobody wants to take orders from a kid. So let me tell you what happens to a twenty year old at the top of a hot dot com.


[referring to his impression of Sean Parker]
Eduardo Saverin: I…I’m not a psychiatrist but…
Sy: [sarcastically] Well, I’m glad we’ve got that on the record.
Gretchen: Okay, you’re not a psychiatrist but what?
Eduardo Saverin: A psychiatrist would say that he was paranoid.


[telling Eduardo, Mark and Christy about what happened to him after his business successes]
Sean Parker: They’ll hire private detectives who will follow you day and night. You’re a target for high priced escorts. I can’t prove it but I know they tapped my phones. Whatever it is that’s gonna trip you up you’ve done already. Private behavior is irrelevant at a time gone by and if somehow, some way you’ve managed to live your life like the Dalai Lama they’ll make shit up because they don’t want you, they want your ideas. And they want you to say ‘thank you’ while you, excuse me, wipe your chin and walk away.


[at the deposition referring to their first meeting with Sean Parker]
Eduardo Saverin: And he told story after story about life in Silicon Valley, and parties at Stanford, and down in LA and friends with kallimionnaires. But mostly about how Mark had to, he had to come to California. And then he got around to TheFacebook.


Eduardo Saverin: Hey, you know what? Settle and argument for us. I say it’s time to start making money from TheFacebook, but Mark doesn’t want to advertise. Who’s right?
Sean Parker: Um…neither of you yet. TheFacebook is cool that’s what it’s got going for it.
Mark Zuckerberg: Yeah.
Eduardo Saverin: You don’t want to ruin it with ads because ads aren’t cool.
Mark Zuckerberg: Exactly.


Sean Parker: You don’t even know what the thing is yet.
Mark Zuckerberg: I said that exactly.
Sean Parker: How big it can get, how far it can go. This is no time to take your chips down. A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool?
Eduardo Saverin: [sarcastically] You?
[scene goes back to the deposition room]
Eduardo Saverin: A billion dollars. That shut everybody up.


Sean Parker: I don’t have a dog in this fight. I’m just a fan who came to say hi.


Eduardo Saverin: He owned Mark after that dinner. He picked up the check, he told Mark they’d talk again soon and he was gone. But not before he made his biggest contribution to the company.


[just about he’s to leave the restaurant]
Sean Parker: Drop the ‘the’. Just Facebook. It’s cleaner.


Eduardo Saverin: That’s gotta be some kind of land speed record for talking.
Mark Zuckerberg: You want to end the party at eleven.
Eduardo Saverin: I’m trying to pay for the party.
Mark Zuckerberg: There won’t be a party unless it’s cool. What do you think?
Eduardo Saverin: Yeah, sure. Let’s drop the ‘the’.


[during the deposition]
Sy: Mr. Saverin, have you ever done anything that might be considered legitimate grounds for termination?
Eduardo Saverin: No.
Sy: You never did anything to embarrass the company or even seriously jeopardize it?
Eduardo Saverin: No.
Sy: No?
Eduardo Saverin: No.
Sy: You were accused of animal cruelty.
Eduardo Saverin: Wait.
Sy: You weren’t?
Eduardo Saverin: Thi…this is not happening.


Eduardo Saverin: I’d gotten into the Phoenix. I’d been accepted and as part of my initiation I had to, for one week, carry with me at all times and take care of a chicken.


Eduardo Saverin: I did not torture the chicken. I don’t torture chickens. Are you crazy?
Sy: No and settle down please. I have here an article from The Crimson…


Eduardo Saverin: I was having dinner in Kirkland Dining Hall with Mark and I had the chicken with me because I had to have the chicken with me at all times. This was college.


Eduardo Saverin: And the dining hall was serving chicken for dinner so I…and I had to feed my chicken. So I…what…I took little pieces of chicken and I gave it to the chicken. Someone must have seen me because the next thing I knew I was being accused of forced cannibalism. I didn’t know you couldn’t do that. I dealt with a various animal rights groups, I dealt with the Associate Dean of the college. This was all resolved.


Gretchen: Mr. Zuckerberg was cheating on his final exam?
Eduardo Saverin: I’d rather not answer that Gretchen.
Gretchen: Why not?
Eduardo Saverin: Because I’m not suing him for cheating on his final exam. That’s not what friends do.
Gretchen: Well you just told us he was cheating.
Eduardo Saverin: Oops.
[he turns to look at Mark across the table]
Eduardo Saverin: You told your lawyers I was torturing animals?
Sy: No, he didn’t tell us about it at all. Our litigators are capable of finding a Crimson article. In fact when we raised the subject with him he defended you.
Mark Zuckerberg: [sarcastically] Oops.


[in Mark’s dorm room]
Eduardo Saverin: When did you decide to go to California for the summer?
Mark Zuckerberg: You mean when did I actually decide?
Eduardo Saverin: Was it somewhere in the middle of the Sean Parker Variety Hour?
Mark Zuckerberg: He was right. California’s the place we’ve gotta be.


Mark Zuckerberg: What is your problem with Sean?
Eduardo Saverin: He doesn’t bring anything to the table. He doesn’t have money. Dustin’s a better a better programmer.
Mark Zuckerberg: He’s got connections to VC’s.
Eduardo Saverin: We don’t need VC’s, we need advertisers. And I have connections to VC’s.


[referring to Sean Parker]social-network-9
Eduardo Saverin: You don’t think that it was strange that he was followed by private detectives?
Mark Zuckerberg: Who came up with nothing.
Eduardo Saverin: Enough to get him out of the company. The drugs, the girls…
Mark Zuckerberg: We don’t know that any of that’s true.


[Mark’s is testing the candidates interviewing for his intern job]
Eduardo Saverin: What’s going on?
Mark Zuckerberg: They have ten minutes to get root access to a Python webserver, expose it’s SSL encryption and then intercept all traffic over its secure port.
Eduardo Saverin: They’re hacking.
Mark Zuckerberg: Yes, all behind a Pix Firewall Emulator. But here’s the beauty.
Eduardo Saverin: You know I didn’t understand anything you just said, right?
Mark Zuckerberg: I do know that.
Eduardo Saverin: So, what’s the beauty?
Mark Zuckerberg: Every tenth line of code written, they have to drink a shot. And hacking supposed to be stealth, so every time the server detects an intrusion, the candidate responsible has to drink a shot. I also have a program running that has a pop-up window appear simultaneously on all five computers. The last candidate to hit the window has to drink a shot. Plus every three minutes they all have to drink a shot.


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Total Quotes: 179



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