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Starring: Ben Schwartz, James Marsden, Jim Carrey, Idris Elba, Tika Sumpter, Colleen O’Shaughnessey, Natasha Rothwell, Adam Pally, Shemar Moore, Lee Majdoub
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Adventure comedy sequel directed by Jeff Fowler. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) follows Sonic (Ben Schwartz), who after defeating Dr. Robotnik (Jim Carrey) and banishing him, and then settling in Green Hills, is ready for more freedom. Tom and Maddie (James Marsden and Tika Sumpter) agree to let him stay home while they go on vacation. However, Dr. Robotnik, now known as Dr. Eggman, returns with a new partner, Knuckles (Idris Elba), in search of an emerald that has the power to both build and destroy civilizations. So, Sonic teams up with his newfound friend, Tails (Colleen O’Shaughnessey), and together they embark on a journey to find the emerald before it falls into Robotnik’s hands.
Our Favorite Quotes:'Being a hero isn't about taking care of yourself. It's about taking responsibility for other people.' - Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog 2) Click To Tweet
Dr. Robotnik: Doctor’s log. It’s day two hundred and forty-three in this portobello purgatory. My only companion is a rock I named Stone. The question is, for whom am I narrating this?
Dr. Robotnik: It seems I’ve become a featured player in the theater of the absurd. Marooned in deep space by that wretched blue rodent. But it’s all good, thanks to a breathable atmosphere, and my supreme intellect, sharpened against the only competitor savvy enough to bring it.
Dr. Robotnik: I’ve been striving to make fungi into a functional drink of choice. Mushroom coffee. With limited, limited, limited success.
Dr. Robotnik: But today, day two hundred and forty-three, has brought a new optimism to my most pressing endeavor. Planetus exodus to returnicus and kick blue butticus! If my calculations are correct, and there’s no reason to say “if” because they always are, this quill is going to power my masterpiece. Let’s light this candle and see who comes a-knocking.
Dr. Robotnik: It’s time to say goodbye to this piece of shiitake planet!
Sonic: Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t speak duct tape.
Armored Truck Security Guard: [as Sonic takes off the duct tape] What the heck are you?
Sonic: Fear not, citizen. I am the hero you need, and the hero you deserve. The blue dawn that banishes the darkest…
Armored Truck Security Guard: [as Sonic is about to hit a woman crossing the road] Holy crap!
Armored Truck Security Guard: Why aren’t you slowing down?
Sonic: That would require brakes.
Armored Truck Security Guard: Why don’t you just let the police handle this?
Sonic: Because that’s not what heroes do.
Armored Truck Security Guard: You are terrible at this!
Sonic: You know what? Your negative attitude is not helping anyone.
Sonic: No need to thank me, citizens. All in a night’s work for Blue Justice!
Armored Truck Security Guard: You’re a terrible hero!
Sonic: [as he falls into the river] I can’t swim! Help! If I die, don’t look in my closet!
Tom Wachowski: How many times are we going to do this?
Sonic: What? Cast your line and not catch anything? Seems like a billion.
Tom Wachowski: I think you know what I’m talking about. The lying. The sneaking out. The pretending to be Batman.
Sonic: Blue Justice. Trademark pending.
Sonic: Look, I stopped a robbery. I was a hero.
Tom Wachowski: No, you put people in danger, and that’s not what a hero does.
'There will come a time when your powers will be needed. But you don't choose that moment. That moment chooses you.' - Tom Wachowski (Sonic the Hedgehog 2) Click To Tweet
Sonic: You’re supposed to be my friend. Stop trying to be my dad. I can take care of myself.
Tom Wachowski: Sonic, taking care of yourself is not what being a hero’s all about. It’s about taking responsibility for other people. And right now, whether you want to hear this or not, you are still just a kid. You got some more growing up to do before you’re ready to be the big hero. Trust me when I tell you, there will come a time when your powers will be needed. But you don’t choose that moment. That moment chooses you.
Sonic: Woh. Look at you. Look at that. I just got goose bumps. Wait a second. Did you steal that from Oprah?
Tom Wachowski: No, sir. That is a Wachowski family special. Came from my dad, in this very boat, on this very lake.
Sonic: [referring to Tom and Maddie] Okay, it’s forty-eight hours until they come back. We’ve got TV channels, streaming channels, a house full of food, and no supervision. Let’s do this.
Sonic: Alright, Ozzy, it’s movie night at Casa de Sonic, and it’s your turn to pick. But I am not watching Snow Dogs again. That movie is the worst!
Sonic: Excuse me. We did not order a poltergeist.
Dr. Robotnik: Hello, hedgehog. Did you miss me?
Sonic: I don’t know how you got back, but you made a big mistake coming here.
Dr. Robotnik: Au contraire, mon frère. The mistake was thinking you’d won. But that was just a prelude, an hors d’oeuvre, an aperitif, an amuse-bouche.
Sonic: I get it.
Dr. Robotnik: I don’t think you do. But you’re about to. And so will that idiot sheriff and his wife. And your little dog too!
Sonic: What? Who are you?
Dr. Robotnik: Where are my manners? Sonic, meet Knuckles. My new BFFAE. Bestest friend forever and ever!
Sonic: Look, Robotnik, I don’t care who you brought to help you. You’re never going to get my power.
Knuckles: Do I look like I need your power?
Dr. Robotnik: So nice when diabolical evil lives up to the hype.
Knuckles: I was expecting more of you. You’re unskilled. Untrained. And unworthy!
Sonic: You forgot one. Unstoppable.
Tails: Wow. Okay. Let me just say, it is an honor to finally meet you, Sonic. Is it okay if I call you Sonic? Everyone calls me Tails. You’re probably wondering why.
Sonic: Let me guess. Because of the extra tail?
Tails: That’s right! I should’ve known you’d get that.
Tails: I’ve got an idea. Do you trust me?
Sonic: Of course not! I literally just met you!
Sonic: We’re flying. Did your butt just turn into a helicopter?
Tails: A butt-copter! Oh, only Sonic the Hedgehog could come up with something like that.
Dr. Robotnik: You want something done right, you have to hire someone you can push around.
Dr. Robotnik: You see, Earth is my turf, G. If you don’t know how to floss, you’ll be lost without me.
Knuckles: I understand nothing of what you just said.
Knuckles: You’re suggesting an alliance.
Dr. Robotnik: Around here we simply grip each other’s hands tightly.
Dr. Robotnik: [as Knuckles shakes his hand] Ow, ow, ow! You truculent space bumpkin! You’ve crushed my favorite hand!
Knuckles: Really? My hand is uninjured. But I’m now convinced of your commitment.
Dr. Robotnik: “Oh, goody,” he exclaimed, while he reset two of his knuckles.
Tails: Sonic, where are we?
Wade: Welcome to the Wade Cave. Which is something I hope to someday say to a woman. A woman who’s not my mom.
Longclaw: The Emerald has the power to turn thoughts into reality.
Wade: Like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.
'Work smarter, not harder.' - Dr. Robotnik Click To Tweet
Wade: Knuckles? You know, I knew a kid in middle school named Knuckles. Could fit his whole fist in his mouth. If this is the same Knuckles, we are screwed.
Agent Stone: Doctor. It’s really you. You look different.
Dr. Robotnik: Papa’s got a brand new ‘stache.
Agent Stone: I knew you’d come back, sir. I never stopped steaming your Austrian goat’s milk.
Dr. Robotnik: [as he tastes the latte] Could use some mushroom.
Agent Stone: [to Robotnik] You brought something. Some kind of space porcupine.
Knuckles: Porcupine? I am an Echidna!
Tom Wachowski: Look at those guys. I wish Sonic had that.
Maddie Wachowski: Muscles?
Tom Wachowski: Control yourself. No. Buddies. Wingmen. A squad.
Maddie Wachowski: [referring to Sonic, to Tom] He’s a smart kid. He’ll find his way.
Sonic: [cut to him with Tails lost] I absolutely cannot find my way. We are completely, totally, unequivocally lost.
Sonic: Wait, so you’ve been watching me this whole time? Even in the shower?
Tails: That’s a trick question. Sonic the Hedgehog prefers bubble baths.
Agent Stone: [referring to Knuckles] Doctor, why are we working with this imbecile?
Dr. Robotnik: Because that simpleminded space trash is the key to something extraordinary.
Dr. Robotnik: The emerald he seeks could power my wildest designs. My genius wouldn’t just be recognized on Earth. It would spread virally to every corner of the galaxy, allowing me to harness all the negative forces of the universe, and commune with Darkness itself.
Agent Stone: Wow. That sounds big.
Dr. Robotnik: It’s been on my vision board for years. It’s the Law of Attraction. Didn’t you see The Secret? Kaplooey!