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Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Miles Teller, Jurnee Smollett, BeBe Bettencourt, Mark Paguio, Sam Delich, Joey Vieira, Daniel Reader, Ron Smyck
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Netflix sci-fi thriller directed by Joseph Kosinski. Set in a the near future, Spiderhead (2022) follows two inmates Jeff (Miles Teller) and Rachel (Jurnee Smollett), who form a connection while grappling with their pasts in a state-of-the-art penitentiary run by a brilliant visionary Steve Abnesti (Chris Hemsworth), who experiments on his subjects with mind-altering drugs.
Our Favorite Quotes:'I wish there was a self-forgiveness drug. You take it and everything starts over. The love I could give, the good I could do. But there's no drug like that. So, we're going to have to do it for ourselves.' - Jeff (Spiderhead) Click To Tweet
Abnesti: What was the ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berry.
Abnesti: What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod.
Abnesti: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Abnesti: [over PA] Another beautiful morning, friends, time to rise and really shine. As volunteers in the Spider head Penitentiary and Research Center, you must do your part and always practice the golden rules. No abuse, physical, verbal, or otherwise, and label your food in the fridge.
Jeff: I hope they keep you on snack. I always said they wasted your talents on janitorial.
Lizzy: Don’t be too sure about that. I’ve got a bit of a scrub fetish.
Lizzy: Did you notice we kind of…
Jeff: Finish each other’s sentences?
Lizzy: I was going to say, need new bowls.
Lizzy: Well, you’re cute when you’re stupid.
Jeff: Okay, but it sucks because today was the day that, there was something that I was going to tell you today, Lizzy.
Lizzy: Okay. Well, we got time.
Jeff: Yes, we do.
Lizzy: All we’ve got is time.
Adam: [flashback, after we see Jeff’s been drinking at a party] You cool to drive?
Jeff: Ice cold.
Abnesti: [to Jeff, referring to Heather] I mean, how attractive is she?
Heather: What, Steve, you can’t see for yourself?
Abnesti: Heather, can you shut up, please? I’m asking Jeff. Jeff, how is she looking?
Jeff: Come on, man.
Abnesti: On a scale of one to ten?
Jeff: Yeah, she’s a seven and a half.
Abnesti: And Heather?
Heather: He’s alright. A five on a good day.
Jeff: Did you give her Honest-Ease?
Abnesti: No, I would have to ask. You know that.
Heather: I’m just kind of a b**ch.
Jeff: Oh. Well, then I’d like to change my vote to an eight.
Heather: [after they’ve been given more N-40] You’re stunning. You’re gorgeous. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
Jeff: That’s okay. You’re the most beautiful woman I think I’ve ever seen in my life.
Heather: Thank you.
Jeff: Wow. I could…
Jeff: I could…
Abnesti: You could what, Jeff?
[suddenly Jeff and Heather start kissing]
Abnesti: N-f***ing-40, baby. Yeah, Goddamn, we’re good!
Verlaine: The love drug.
Abnesti: [to Mark] I need you to observe these two. After they come down, in the next hours, days, do they seek contact? Profess feelings when they’re in the same room? Do they communicate non-verbally? Look for isopraxisms. Mirrored behaviors. People in love unconsciously mimic each other’s actions. They scratch their faces at the same time, fiddle with their hair at the same time. It’s like their bodies can’t help themselves. So watch Jeff and Heather. I want to know. I want to know does this love last?
Jeff: What’s up, Ray?
Ray: Someone wrote in s**t on the bathroom stall doors, that’s what.
Ray: I’ll find out who’s s**t-finger. Hope it ain’t you.
Jeff: It’s not.
Jeff: Hey, is there a drug to make you forget s**t?
Verlaine: Yeah, it’s called old age.
Jeff: I’m looking forward to it.
Abnesti: Hey, Dave, how you feeling?
Dave: [after he vomits] Hungry.
Verlaine: Could he be s**t-finger?
Abnesti: Yeah, maybe.
Jeff: [referring to Darkenfloxx] My preference is that nobody gets it.
Abnesti: That makes two of us.
Abnesti: See what we just did. With your help, we learned a lot more about N-40.
Abnesti: The work we do could help millions of people. You ever loved?
Abnesti: Yeah, you were lucky. Not everyone can. You know that loneliness is as lethal as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day? Look it up. Imagine if we could destroy all the world’s cigarettes. We’d have people everywhere loving, being loved, capable of love. And who would’ve made that possible?
Jeff: Gold star for me.
Abnesti: Yeah. Yeah. And your new friend, N-40. Yay for us.
'Beautiful people get away with too much.' - Abnesti (Spiderhead) Click To Tweet
Abnesti: What is it you want, Jeff, more than anything in the world?
Jeff: To go back.
Abnesti: [to Jeff] What you want is redemption. And this is how you’re going to find it.
Jeff: [leaving a voice message] Hey, babe, you’re probably getting sick of me leaving these things for you, but I just wanted to tell you the usual, that I miss you, and I’m sorry. Something else I want to tell you too. I met someone. Yeah, her name’s Lizzy. She kind of reminds me of you a little bit. So maybe I’ll finally stop bugging you. This’ll be my last, “I’m sorry.”
Jeff: [after he sees he’s been paired with Rogan] I’m not doing this. I won’t. No, I’m not. No! No! No! No! I’m not, I won’t. I won’t acknowledge.
Abnesti: Jeff, chill pill. It isn’t what you think. No romance novels today.
Rogan: Your loss.
Abnesti: What’s going on, huh?
Jeff: So everybody’s just f***ing everyone?
Jeff: I’ve been on some crazy-a** project teams, right? But this one doesn’t feel right.
Abnesti: Jeff, you know, I sympathize, but only to a point. Listen, I got to take off my friendship hat for a second and remind you, your presence in this facility, while technically a punishment, is a privilege. Is it not? You applied for it, you were approved for it. You could as easily be at State with the general pop, and you really would be playing pitch-and-catch, in your case catch, with the likes of Rogan. You don’t even want to know what he did in his last prison.
Abnesti: Mark, smile once in a while, okay? We’re changing the world.
Jeff: [referring to Darkenfloxx] I mean, it’s hard to describe without Verbaluce, but just imagine the worst you’ve ever felt times ten. And even that doesn’t even come close to it. Honestly, I mean, I felt like I was on fire. I wished I was on fire. I would have set myself on fire to make it stop.
Jeff: This place can really mess with your head. I mean, they’ve been testing me up and down, and a lot weirder stuff than usual. It’s just been really tough lately. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember who I was before I came in here. But, Lizzy, when I’m with you, that’s the only time I really feel like myself.
Abnesti: What do I keep saying to you, huh?
Verlaine: I don’t know. “Shut up, Mark?”
Abnesti: I say you got to think huge. It’s like you look at the world through the wrong end of binoculars or something. That’s weird. Don’t be weird.
Abnesti: Someone has to answer for our products, Mark. Does that not occur to you? Life out there is not life in here, okay? S**t is messy. It’s totally out of our control. This is new frontier stuff here. And when, not if, when one of our compounds falls on its face, one of us is going to have to stand in front of a bereaved loved one, or Mike Wallace, or God forbid, a jury, and answer for what we do. What we made, and bottled, and named, and sold. Is that going to be you? No, it’s going to be the guy who can say, “You’re goddamned right I stand behind our s**t. I’ve taken it myself.”
Verlaine: Mike Wallace is dead.
Abnesti: Really? Hard to keep track. Ed Bradley then.
Verlaine: Also dead.
Abnesti: Morley Safer? S**t. Better to think someone’s dead, and find out they’re alive.