Starring: Will Ferrell, Isla Fisher, Randall Park, Will Forte, Jamie Foxx, Josh Gad, Harvey Guillén, Rob Riggle, Brett Gelman, Jamie Demetriou, Sofia Vergara
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story:
Live-action comedy directed by Josh Greenbaum. Strays (2023) centers on Reggie (Will Ferrell), a naïve, relentlessly optimistic Border Terrier, who is abandoned on the mean city streets by his lowlife owner, Doug (Will Forte). When Reggie falls in with Bug (Jamie Foxx), a fast-talking, foul-mouthed Boston Terrier stray, who loves his freedom, and believes that owners are for suckers, Reggie finally realizes he was in a toxic relationship and begins to see Doug for who he is. Determined to seek revenge, Reggie, Bug, and Bug’s pal, Maggie (Isla Fisher), a smart Australian Shepherd, and Hunter (Randall Park), an anxious Great Dane who’s stressed out by his work as an emotional support animal, together hatch a plan and embark on an epic adventure to help Reggie find his way home, and make Doug pay by biting off the appendage he loves the most.
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Best Quotes
Reggie: Today is going to be the best day ever. How do I know that? Because every day is the best day ever. I love my life. I love sunshine. I love butterflies. But more than anything, I love Doug.
Doug: [to Reggie, as he barks] Hey! Shut the f*** up! F***ing piece of s**t.
Reggie: That’s Doug! Also known as the best owner in the world.
Reggie: Why is Doug so great? Where do I begin? He loves being around me so much, he doesn’t even have a job.
Doug: All that matters is that you like him, and I like that you don’t get to have him.
Ashley: You are a total f***ing loser.
Doug: Yeah, a loser with a dog.
Reggie: Honestly, the only thing in the world that Doug maybe loves more than me is his favorite toy, his p**is. He gives it haircuts. He watches TV with it.
Doug: Stop staring. You’re ruining it.
Reggie: And the way he pets that thing, sometimes I wish I was a p**is. But every time I try to play with it, he gets so possessive.
Reggie: Lately, Doug has been playing a brand new game with me called Fetch and F***.
Doug: [as he throws the ball for Reggie] Fetch!
Reggie: Basically, Doug drops me off really far away.
Doug: Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.
Reggie: Throws the ball and drives home without me. Then it’s my turn to get the ball and find my way back home. When I bring the ball back, he says…
Doug: F***.
Reggie: And that’s how I know I won the game!
Reggie: [after Doug abandons him in the city] This is a nice neighborhood. I like all the trash. And the needles. So many needles.
Afghan Hound: Hey, honey! You ever been with an Afghan before?
Reggie: No, I don’t think so. But thank you.
Reggie: I’m trying to get to Doug’s place. Do you know which way that is from here?
Finn the Rottweiler: You say Doug’s place?
Reggie: I did. Yeah.
Finn the Rottweiler: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know which way that is.
Reggie: Oh, great.
Finn the Rottweiler: Right up my f***ing a**, you little s**t.
Reggie: Reggie: Oh, no. That can’t be right.
Bug: Yeah, go ahead, bite me, you raggedy m**herf***ers. I dare you. You know how many diseases is up in me? Rabies, scabies, whatever disease you can get from tongue-f***ing a dead squirrel. Which I did last night because I’m crazy, man.
Bug: I’m so crazy I’ll f*** the trash. You like it, don’t you? You like it. You want to get recycled? Anybody got a twisty tie? Because I’m f***ing this bag up.
Bug: Fight you or I’ll f*** you! Dealer’s choice. But either way, you’re getting worms.
Reggie: It’s good to meet you, Bug. My name is S**tbag.
Bug: What?
Reggie: Oh, it’s short for Dumba** S**tbag. But sometimes Doug pronounces it F***nugget.
Bug: Well, I’m three, and I have seen it all. Paw to God. I once saw a dog that was half Labrador and half poodle.
Reggie: A labradoodle.
Bug: No, no, no, no. A poo-dor. The other way around. Even f***ing weirder.
Bug: You want something, you pee on it. Whatever you pee on, it’s yours.
Bug: Have you ever a humped anything before?
Reggie: Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve humped, per se. But I do like to dance on Doug’s leg.
Bug: Dude, that wasn’t dancing. Baby, you was humping the devil’s dance.
Bug: I recently f***ed this couch. Best sex of my life.
Reggie: Wow. Really?
Bug: Yeah. Oh, and she dirty too.
Reggie: Oh, well, I can tell. It looks like she hasn’t been washed in years.
Bug: [to the couch] I’ll see you later, baby.
Bug: [to Reggie] Humans trick us into thinking that we need them, but they’re just brainwashing us, man. Point is, you ain’t got to deal with that s**t no more, okay? You a stray. You can do anything you want now.
Bug: They need us for our poop.
Reggie: Huh?
Bug: Watch that lady. Watch her. See? See? It’s like they’re collecting it for something.
Reggie: What do you think they’re doing with it?
Bug: I think they’re using it to make chocolate.
'The best relationships are the hard ones. You have to put in the work. You got to have courage. And you always need to remember that real love is never easy.' - Reggie (Strays) Share on X
Maggie: [to Hunter, referring to Bubsy] Don’t let him talk to you like that. You’re the biggest dog here.
Bug: You should eat his freaking face off, s**t it out, and then eat it again.
Hunter: Bug, you know I don’t love confrontation.
Bug: [referring to Hunter] Yeah, don’t let big d**k fool you. He’s just a gigantic p***y.
Reggie: Woh. It is a great p**is.
Hunter: Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean. Do my best to lick it as much as possible.
Bella: Jenna said, “Sit,” which I did. But then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cute if I acted all confused and tilted my head like, “Huh?”
Maggie: You know what? It doesn’t get to me so much anymore. I’m fine. I’m not jealous, or worried, or angry, or depressed, or confused, or fuming, or unhinged at all.
Bug: Yeah, you seem totally fine.
Bug: You can learn how beautiful it can be when you’re off the leash.
Bug: Reggie, your purpose is not to make some stupid human families happy. It’s not to make some single loser feel more complete. Your purpose is to do…
Hunter, Maggie, Bug: Whatever the f*** you want.
Bug: And when you are a stray…
Hunter, Maggie, Bug: There’s a lot to f***ing do.
Reggie: [as they’re drinking beer] This water is making me dizzy.
Bug: It’s about to get real dizzy up in this b**ch.
Bug: [as he sees their reflection in the mirror] Look at this m**herf***er right here. What you want? Huh, homey? I’ll rip your m**herf***ing nuts off.
Reggie: Come on, let’s go.
Bug: Pointy-eared m**herf***er.
Bug: [as Reggie is humping the garden gnome] Tell that gnome you’re his daddy.
Reggie: Hey, gnome. I’m your father. It’s good to finally meet you. Even under these strange circumstances.
Bug: [to their reflections in the mirror] Who your little b**ch a** friend with the m**herf***ing home perm and s**t?
Reggie: I didn’t know I had a son. And he’s a gnome of all things. Does anyone want to hump my son? He’s handsomely dressed in a smart little tunic.
Maggie: Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your a**s you’re a great guy. You’re a legend.
Maggie: [to Reggie, referring to Doug] So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street, and you still think he’s a good guy?
Reggie: [referring to Doug] And the bandanna he gave me is way more special than a collar because he used it for his p**is sneezes.
Maggie: Ew.
Reggie: [referring to Doug] Well, he needs to know he’s hurt me. He needs to feel my pain. And he needs to pay for what he did with the only thing he truly loves. I’m going to bite his d**k off.
Maggie: Oh!
Hunter: Wait. Did he just say “bite”?
Hunter: [to Reggie] Yeah, like maybe there’s a metaphorical d**k you could bite off. Like you could pretend my d**k is his d**k, and you could give it a stern talking-to.
Bug: And the devil in the sky. Boom! That’s basically a road map right to this guy’s custard launcher.
Bug: I got the street smarts, you got the muscle, and Maggie’s got a sense of smell so good she could sniff one a**hole and tell you what the guy ate three breakfasts ago.
Bug: Let’s show these humans they can’t toss us aside without facing some bad f***ing consequences. Fellas. Lady. Let’s go get some d**k.
Bug: Why didn’t nobody tell us that dog journeys are so f***ing exhausting?
Maggie: Oh, this is brutal.
Hunter: I was still drunk when I agreed to do this.
Bug: A sausage is the one that looks like s**t, but it don’t taste like s**t.
Reggie: Okay. What is a hot dog?
Bug: He’s one of those narrator dogs. Hey! No one’s listening to your lame human story, you f***ing dumba**.
Gus: Sadly, the little dog was right. No one was listening to my story. Which is too bad, because I’m the only one who knows James is a cold-blooded serial killer. He’s got three bodies buried in the backyard already, but I guess no one’s interested.
Bug: I’m going to tell you, kid, the moment they leash you up, snip your balls, is the moment they got you by them.
Reggie: Hold on. They snip your balls?
Bug: Oh, yeah. And I think they’re collecting those too to put in the chocolate.
Maggie: You know, you’re a really good listener.
Hunter: Oh, that’s because all the sound funnels through the cone right to my ears.
Hunter: You guys get me hard all the time.
Reggie: Hunter, that’s about the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Reggie: Save yourself. And tell Doug I wanted to bite his d**k off. Bite it for me, if you can.
Bug: Look at me. You’re going to live, and you’re going to bite that d**k yourself.
Maggie: Bug, you looked like you were going to s**t yourself.
Bug: I did. I literally did that.
Hunter: He did. I stepped in it.
Reggie: So, I kind of have a weird idea. Could we maybe pee on each other?
Bug: Say what, now?
Reggie: Well, you said that when you pee on something that it’s yours. I just thought that, since we’re all like friends now, we could…
Hunter: Pee on each other so we belong to each other?
Maggie: [as they’re peeing on each other] I guess this makes us family now.
Bug: Yeah, we’re BFFs.
Reggie: Even better. We’re Pee-FFs.
Maggie: Were you thinking lengthwise or tip-to-shaft?
Reggie: Gosh, I don’t know. I’ve never bitten off a d**k before. I guess I’ll let it just come to me in the moment.
Hunter: Who would want to date a failed police dog who wears a cone twenty-four-seven?
Bug: Oh, come on, dude. Girls date losers all the time.
Bug: [referring to Hunter] I’m telling him he’s got to get that big d**k energy.
Maggie: Well, you got the first part down.
Hunter: Aw, thanks for complimenting my p**is, Maggie. You know, your v***na’s huge too.
Bug: Seriously?
Hunter: S**t. Why did I say that?
Bug: How sure are you that the big cone is this way?
Reggie: I don’t know, on a scale of sure to not sure, pretty sure that I’m not really sure. That I’m sure of.
Bug: Holy s**t. We’re lost.
Hunter: This could be a lot worse.
Bug: Oh, really, Hunter? I’m starving, we’re completely f***ing lost, and my little puppy paw pads are really hurting right now. So how exactly could this get worse? Huh? How could it? Tell me, huh? How could it get worse?
Bug: [as suddenly an eagle sweeps in and takes him] Why did I say it could get a lot worse?
Reggie: [as he’s trying to save Bug from the eagle] Oh, wow, your balls look huge from this angle.
Bug: Thank you, but holy f***!
Birdwatcher: [as he sees Bug being carried away by the eagle] Holy s**t. That is the craziest thing I have ever seen. And I’m Dennis Quaid, and Dennis Quaid has seen some s**t.
Hunter: [as they’re watching Bug and Reggie fall] Wow, they’re hitting a worst-case-scenario amount of branches.
Bug: And not to be cheesy, but being up in the sky like that just moments from my death, I learned something about life.
Hunter: What’s that?
Bug: Birds don’t have genitals.
Hunter: Well, then how do they…
Bug: I don’t know. Maybe they have both parts inside. So, if you were to say, “Go f*** yourself,” they could actually do it.
Reggie: Okay, I got one. Would you rather eat poop or…
Maggie, Hunter, Bug: Eat poop.
Bug: Definitely eat poop.
Reggie: Okay. But I didn’t even get to…
Bug: It doesn’t matter. I like poop.
Reggie: So, question. When dogs have sex from behind, what’s the style?
Bug: That’s just called regular style.
Bug: I only know one style of f***ing, and I’ve been doing it my whole life.
Reggie: Then what’s human style?
Bug: In human style, the boy pretends to be the dog, and the girl pretends to be the couch. It’s very complicated.
Reggie: Wow, that is complicated.
Hunter: Every species is different.
Maggie: Knock, knock.
Maggie: [as the others bark] Guys, stop! You won’t even let me get to the joke part.
Hunter: Later, Maggie. Somebody’s at the door.
Bug: Nothing funny about a stranger at the door.
Maggie: You guys are f***ing morons.
Bug: Man, I’m starving. Anything edible over there? Like a buffalo chicken pizza?
Hunter: No, just squirrel poops.
Bug: Ah, no. I can’t eat no more of that s**t. You know what, that goes right through me.
Hunter: [as they’re tripping from eating mushrooms] You look different.
Maggie: [looks like a cartoon] Really? S**t! You look different too!
Hunter: [looks like a hand puppet] How so? Is it my human hands? Hey, do you think I could play piano now?
Maggie: Definitely.
Hunter: We are gathered here today to say goodbye to the bunnies. Honestly, what we did was an accident. And I know that if we weren’t confused from the food we ate we would have never mauled you, tore all your limbs off, and shook your corpses around while giggling gleefully by accident. So, bless you, bunnies.
Maggie: I’m sorry, I don’t really want to be that b**ch, but I’m actually really good at sniffing, and I’d be happy to assist in finding this lost girl.
Rolf: Adorable. Yeah. No, thanks, Australian shep-turd.
Hunter: Excuse me, but you really shouldn’t talk to her like that.
Rolf: And what the f*** are you going to do about it?
Hunter: I will do nothing the f*** about it. I am sitting down now.
Maggie: Oh, Hunter.
Rolf: Everything I know, I learned from this son of a b**ch.
Munchkin: Technically, we’re all sons of b**ches, sir.
Rolf: Man, when I joined the force, you could bite d**ks left and right. Nowadays, I chomp a d**k, I got to fill out two weeks of paperwork.
Rolf: Let’s not wait so long next time, huh? What’s it been, seven years?
Hunter: I think just one, but every year feels like seven to us, so that makes sense.
Bug: Okay, listen. We got to get our story straight. It was a possum who killed all the bunnies, got it?
Reggie: Wait. What’s the possum’s name?
Bug: Greg.
Reggie: That’s not a believable name for a possum. Ooh, can it be Monty?
Bug: [referring to his owner] I never saw her again. After all we had been through, everything she made me feel, everything I thought I made her feel, just nothing. We did so much together. She taught me so many tricks. But the one trick she never wanted me to learn was, stay.
Hunter: Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff.
Maggie: Just picture me, all eight nipples rock hard, and I’m wearing nothing but the cone.
Reggie: What’s the one thing humans are obsessed with?
Bug: Themselves.
Maggie: Painting their faces.
Hunter: Dying.
Reggie: No. Bug, you said it yourself. What’s the thing humans are most obsessed with about dogs?
Bug: Our s**t.
Bug: Nice thinking, kid. I’m in. And I got a couple of s**ts in the chamber.
Reggie: I was lucky enough to meet some amazing friends who taught me that just beyond those walls is a bunch of incredible stuff worth living for. There’s lampposts to pee on. There’s scraps to eat, and couches to make love to. And dead bunnies that I know nothing about.
Reggie: But most importantly, there’s a life out there worth living. So I’m asking you, do you want to stay here and die, or do you want to s**t your brains out and live? Then poop with me! Poop with me to freedom!
Reggie: Dig deep inside of you, deep inside your colon. Release your pent-up feelings. Let it flow.
Maggie: I can’t believe we s**t that much!
Reggie: You know why Doug abandoned me? Because I was the problem in our relationship. I ate his shoes. I woke him up so early every day because I needed to pee. And I pooped on the rug.
Maggie: We’ve all pooped on the rug, Reggie.
Reggie: Oh, did you roll in it, Maggie? Did you roll in the poop? Because guess what, I rolled in the poop.
Maggie: Okay, that’s not great.
Reggie: [to Bug] I don’t think you really want to be a stray. I think you’re sad and lonely.
Hunter: [as they watch Reggie leave] Man. I really thought my d**k was going to hook those keys. But this is also a bummer.
Bug: [referring to Reggie] First off, Hunter, we didn’t leave him. He left us. Second, we don’t know the rest of the way back to Doug’s place anyway. And third, I’m not just going to hang around here and let some d**kless bird swoop in on my girlfriend while I’m gone.
Bug: I’m about to go do some nunya.
Hunter: What’s nunya?
Bug: Nunya f***ing business!
Hunter: Oh, yeah. I walked right into that one.
Bug: I pi**ed on two cars and three houses last week. That’s right, I’m a three year-old dog, and I’m already a homeowner. I’m living the m**herf***ing dream.
Reggie: Okay, I should probably rehearse this. Hey, Doug.
Reggie: [imitating Doug] Hey, s**tbag.
Reggie: What have you been up to?
Reggie: [imitating Doug] Mostly m********ing.
Reggie: Oh, cool. Classic Doug.
Rolf: [referring to Reggie’s bandanna] And from the same patterns, I can tell this was a very small pee stream, indicative of a dog with an unbelievably tiny p**is.
Hunter: Again, Bug.
Bug: It ain’t indicative of s**t. If anything, it is indicative of a well-shaped, sensual p**is that transcends d**k size.
Rolf: Lots of TDU, tiny d**k urine, over here.
Maggie: [as she sniffs Reggie’s bandanna] I’m picking up b**ches of the night, pizza, vomit pizza, hot dogs, all of our pee, eagle feathers. Dennis Quaid? Squirrel sex, dead bunnies that I know nothing about, Hunter’s boner. Oh, lots of s**t, a tiny Boston terrier d**k, and Reggie! I got him.
Hunter: Thanks, Rolf! Except for when you f***ed us over!
Rolf: Good luck, soldiers. And sorry I’m such a f***ing a**hole! I should really work on myself.
Reggie: [to Doug] Just know that I did everything I could to make you feel loved. And I thought, if I loved you enough, then maybe you would love me back. But then I met new friends. I met the sweetest big dog with just the nicest d**k. The most talented, baddest b**ch in the world. And the tiniest, scrappiest, funniest best friend I could ever ask for. Oh, and I met my son too, who’s a gnome, and we had sex. But whatever.
Doug: [as Bug, Maggie, and Hunter come to Reggie’s rescue] Who the hell are these dogs? Jesus Christ, it’s like a f***ing dog movie in here.
Old Man in Park: [as they see Hunter and Maggie humping] Reminds me of when I was young.
Old Woman in Park: You used to f*** dogs?
Old Man in Park: What?
Reggie: I’ve learned a lot since Doug. Sure, there are some bad people in this world, but even Bug would agree, the good ones are out there. You just got to keep your eyes open.
Reggie: I may be small, but you have no idea what I’m capable of. Just ask Doug! I ripped the guy’s c**k off!
Dr. Hagen: [mid-credits lines] In addition to the multiple facial lacerations, and the severe burn wounds, we also discovered an alarming amount of fecal bacteria in your system, which I would imagine came from the…
Doug: Dog s**tting in my mouth?
Dr. Hagen: Right. Yeah. Checking the clipboard. Oh, yeah. We also couldn’t reattach the p**is.
Doug: F***!