Starring: Will Ferrell, Isla Fisher, Randall Park, Will Forte, Jamie Foxx, Josh Gad, Harvey Guillén, Rob Riggle, Brett Gelman, Jamie Demetriou, Sofia Vergara
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Live-action comedy directed by Josh Greenbaum. Strays (2023) centers on Reggie (Will Ferrell), a naïve, relentlessly optimistic Border Terrier, who is abandoned on the mean city streets by his lowlife owner, Doug (Will Forte). When Reggie falls in with Bug (Jamie Foxx), a fast-talking, foul-mouthed Boston Terrier stray, who loves his freedom, and believes that owners are for suckers, Reggie finally realizes he was in a toxic relationship and begins to see Doug for who he is. Determined to seek revenge, Reggie, Bug, and Bug’s pal, Maggie (Isla Fisher), a smart Australian Shepherd, and Hunter (Randall Park), an anxious Great Dane who’s stressed out by his work as an emotional support animal, together hatch a plan and embark on an epic adventure to help Reggie find his way home, and make Doug pay by biting off the appendage he loves the most.
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Reggie: Today is going to be the best day ever. How do I know that? Because every day is the best day ever. I love my life. I love sunshine. I love butterflies. But more than anything, I love Doug.
Doug: [to Reggie, as he barks] Hey! Shut the f*** up! F***ing piece of s**t.
Reggie: That’s Doug! Also known as the best owner in the world.
Reggie: Why is Doug so great? Where do I begin? He loves being around me so much, he doesn’t even have a job.
Doug: All that matters is that you like him, and I like that you don’t get to have him.
Ashley: You are a total f***ing loser.
Doug: Yeah, a loser with a dog.
Reggie: Honestly, the only thing in the world that Doug maybe loves more than me is his favorite toy, his p**is. He gives it haircuts. He watches TV with it.
Doug: Stop staring. You’re ruining it.
Reggie: And the way he pets that thing, sometimes I wish I was a p**is. But every time I try to play with it, he gets so possessive.
Reggie: Lately, Doug has been playing a brand new game with me called Fetch and F***.
Doug: [as he throws the ball for Reggie] Fetch!
Reggie: Basically, Doug drops me off really far away.
Doug: Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.
Reggie: Throws the ball and drives home without me. Then it’s my turn to get the ball and find my way back home. When I bring the ball back, he says…
Reggie: And that’s how I know I won the game!
Reggie: [after Doug abandons him in the city] This is a nice neighborhood. I like all the trash. And the needles. So many needles.
Afghan Hound: Hey, honey! You ever been with an Afghan before?
Reggie: No, I don’t think so. But thank you.
Reggie: I’m trying to get to Doug’s place. Do you know which way that is from here?
Finn the Rottweiler: You say Doug’s place?
Reggie: I did. Yeah.
Finn the Rottweiler: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know which way that is.
Reggie: Oh, great.
Finn the Rottweiler: Right up my f***ing a**, you little s**t.
Reggie: Reggie: Oh, no. That can’t be right.
Bug: Yeah, go ahead, bite me, you raggedy m**herf***ers. I dare you. You know how many diseases is up in me? Rabies, scabies, whatever disease you can get from tongue-f***ing a dead squirrel. Which I did last night because I’m crazy, man.
Bug: I’m so crazy I’ll f*** the trash. You like it, don’t you? You like it. You want to get recycled? Anybody got a twisty tie? Because I’m f***ing this bag up.
Bug: Fight you or I’ll f*** you! Dealer’s choice. But either way, you’re getting worms.
Reggie: It’s good to meet you, Bug. My name is S**tbag.
Reggie: Oh, it’s short for Dumba** S**tbag. But sometimes Doug pronounces it F***nugget.
Bug: Well, I’m three, and I have seen it all. Paw to God. I once saw a dog that was half Labrador and half poodle.
Reggie: A labradoodle.
Bug: No, no, no, no. A poo-dor. The other way around. Even f***ing weirder.
Bug: You want something, you pee on it. Whatever you pee on, it’s yours.
Bug: Have you ever a humped anything before?
Reggie: Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve humped, per se. But I do like to dance on Doug’s leg.
Bug: Dude, that wasn’t dancing. Baby, you was humping the devil’s dance.
Bug: I recently f***ed this couch. Best sex of my life.
Reggie: Wow. Really?
Bug: Yeah. Oh, and she dirty too.
Reggie: Oh, well, I can tell. It looks like she hasn’t been washed in years.
Bug: [to the couch] I’ll see you later, baby.
Bug: [to Reggie] Humans trick us into thinking that we need them, but they’re just brainwashing us, man. Point is, you ain’t got to deal with that s**t no more, okay? You a stray. You can do anything you want now.
Bug: They need us for our poop.
Bug: Watch that lady. Watch her. See? See? It’s like they’re collecting it for something.
Reggie: What do you think they’re doing with it?
Bug: I think they’re using it to make chocolate.
'The best relationships are the hard ones. You have to put in the work. You got to have courage. And you always need to remember that real love is never easy.' - Reggie (Strays) Click To Tweet
Maggie: [to Hunter, referring to Bubsy] Don’t let him talk to you like that. You’re the biggest dog here.
Bug: You should eat his freaking face off, s**t it out, and then eat it again.
Hunter: Bug, you know I don’t love confrontation.
Bug: [referring to Hunter] Yeah, don’t let big d**k fool you. He’s just a gigantic p***y.
Reggie: Woh. It is a great p**is.
Hunter: Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean. Do my best to lick it as much as possible.
Bella: Jenna said, “Sit,” which I did. But then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cute if I acted all confused and tilted my head like, “Huh?”
Maggie: You know what? It doesn’t get to me so much anymore. I’m fine. I’m not jealous, or worried, or angry, or depressed, or confused, or fuming, or unhinged at all.
Bug: Yeah, you seem totally fine.
Bug: You can learn how beautiful it can be when you’re off the leash.
Bug: Reggie, your purpose is not to make some stupid human families happy. It’s not to make some single loser feel more complete. Your purpose is to do…
Hunter, Maggie, Bug: Whatever the f*** you want.
Bug: And when you are a stray…
Hunter, Maggie, Bug: There’s a lot to f***ing do.
Reggie: [as they’re drinking beer] This water is making me dizzy.
Bug: It’s about to get real dizzy up in this b**ch.
Bug: [as he sees their reflection in the mirror] Look at this m**herf***er right here. What you want? Huh, homey? I’ll rip your m**herf***ing nuts off.
Reggie: Come on, let’s go.
Bug: Pointy-eared m**herf***er.
Bug: [as Reggie is humping the garden gnome] Tell that gnome you’re his daddy.
Reggie: Hey, gnome. I’m your father. It’s good to finally meet you. Even under these strange circumstances.
Bug: [to their reflections in the mirror] Who your little b**ch a** friend with the m**herf***ing home perm and s**t?
Reggie: I didn’t know I had a son. And he’s a gnome of all things. Does anyone want to hump my son? He’s handsomely dressed in a smart little tunic.
Maggie: Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your a**s you’re a great guy. You’re a legend.
Maggie: [to Reggie, referring to Doug] So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street, and you still think he’s a good guy?
Reggie: [referring to Doug] And the bandanna he gave me is way more special than a collar because he used it for his p**is sneezes.
Reggie: [referring to Doug] Well, he needs to know he’s hurt me. He needs to feel my pain. And he needs to pay for what he did with the only thing he truly loves. I’m going to bite his d**k off.
Hunter: Wait. Did he just say “bite”?
Hunter: [to Reggie] Yeah, like maybe there’s a metaphorical d**k you could bite off. Like you could pretend my d**k is his d**k, and you could give it a stern talking-to.
Bug: And the devil in the sky. Boom! That’s basically a road map right to this guy’s custard launcher.
Bug: I got the street smarts, you got the muscle, and Maggie’s got a sense of smell so good she could sniff one a**hole and tell you what the guy ate three breakfasts ago.
Bug: Let’s show these humans they can’t toss us aside without facing some bad f***ing consequences. Fellas. Lady. Let’s go get some d**k.
Bug: Why didn’t nobody tell us that dog journeys are so f***ing exhausting?
Maggie: Oh, this is brutal.
Hunter: I was still drunk when I agreed to do this.
Bug: A sausage is the one that looks like s**t, but it don’t taste like s**t.
Reggie: Okay. What is a hot dog?
Bug: He’s one of those narrator dogs. Hey! No one’s listening to your lame human story, you f***ing dumba**.
Gus: Sadly, the little dog was right. No one was listening to my story. Which is too bad, because I’m the only one who knows James is a cold-blooded serial killer. He’s got three bodies buried in the backyard already, but I guess no one’s interested.
Bug: I’m going to tell you, kid, the moment they leash you up, snip your balls, is the moment they got you by them.
Reggie: Hold on. They snip your balls?
Bug: Oh, yeah. And I think they’re collecting those too to put in the chocolate.
Maggie: You know, you’re a really good listener.
Hunter: Oh, that’s because all the sound funnels through the cone right to my ears.