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Home / Best Quotes / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) Best Quotes

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) Best Quotes

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Starring: Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, Brady Noon, Hannibal Buress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Jackie Chan, Ice Cube, Natasia Demetriou, Ayo Edebiri, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph

OUR RATING: ★★★½

Story:

Animated action adventure directed by Jeff Rowe and co-directed by Kyler Spears. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) centers on the Turtle brothers, who after years of being sheltered from the human world, set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers through heroic acts. Their new friend April O’Neil helps them take on a mysterious crime syndicate, but they soon get in over their heads when an army of mutants is unleashed upon them.

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Best Quotes


 

Cynthia Utrom: Baxter Stockman’s creations must live on! And with it, a new form of life itself.


 

Leonardo: Master Splinter has given us a very important mission for tonight. The target is across the street. We must use stealth and cunning to infiltrate human world and retrieve Go-GURT.
Raphael: Go-GURT!
Michelangelo: Okay, Batman.
Leonardo: Dude, what? I’m just trying to hype you guys up, okay?


 

Raphael: Give me that list. Okay, what else are we getting? Four quarts of nonfat milk, ice cream, fruits and veggies, and a party size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
Michelangelo: I like cheese puffs.
Donatello: He was very specific about the party size. He underlined it twice.


 

Leonardo: And remember, don’t let any humans see you. Because why?
All: “Humans are the demon scum of the Earth. Avoid them. Don’t say hi. They lust to murder that which is different from them. To interact with them is to die.”
Leonardo: And, hey, I know that’s objectively prejudiced, but that’s what Dad taught us.


 

Michelangelo: I think humans seem kind of cool, to be honest. Beyoncé.
Donatello: We wouldn’t have K-pop without humans.
Raphael: Drake! That guy’s the GOAT of all time.
Leonardo: I would love to have a champagne brunch with Tom Brady.
Michelangelo: Guy Fieri seems like a fun hang. And I’ve always wanted to go to Flavortown.
Leonardo: Look, we all think humans are cool, but we got a job to do. Let’s go!
Raphael: [imitating] “Let’s go. I’m Leo.”
Donatello: “Ooh, I’m the leader.” You sound like you have bronchitis!


 

Michelangelo: [as they’re watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off] I wish I had hair like that.
Donatello: I wish I had hair, period.
Michelangelo: We did go bald at a young age.


 

Raphael: Maybe one day everyone will love us like everyone loves Ferris Bueller.
Leonardo: Yeah. Yeah. You know, maybe one day.


 

Splinter: You said you would go shopping, then come right back. Where were you?
Leonardo: Look, we’re really sorry, Splinter. Some of the guys wanted to see a movie, and I tried to talk them out of it.
All: Leo!
Splinter: What?! You watched a movie with the humans?
Michelangelo: You ratted us out!
Splinter: Hey! Don’t use that word that way.
Leonardo: I mean, it’s 2023, Mikey.
Michelangelo: Sorry, Dad.


 

Splinter: You don’t remember why human are disgusting monsters? Why they’re dangerous? Why they’re going to milk us for our blood?
All: We don’t even have nipples!
Splinter: You know what? I’m going to tell the story again.
Michelangelo: No! I get a year older every time.
Splinter: Just for that, I tell you the long version.

 

'They look more like little Shreks to me.' - Goon #1 (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem) Click To Tweet

 

Splinter: It all started fifteen years ago. I was young rat in my twenties. Look at me! I was so cute. I was on top of the world. No, I was the bottom of the world. It was terrible! Nobody liked me. I had no friends. Raccoons didn’t like me. Dogs don’t like me. You know who hate me the most? Humans! I had one friend. He was a cockroach. We got along very well. His name was Kevin. And then I ate him.


 

Splinter: One day, everything changed. You was the first things I met that didn’t want to kill me, or eat me. I couldn’t just leave you there. You was covered in this wooze that someone dump in the sewers. Whatever this wooze was, it transformed us. Because I was older, I became older rat man. You guys was babies, so you stayed baby turtle creatures. If you think about that, it couldn’t make more sense. It was weird, but we became a family.


 

Splinter: We thought we needed the human world, but we only needed each other. That’s why I’m so strict, you know? You boys are all I got. And you’re all I’ll ever have.
Michelangelo: You don’t know that.
Splinter: I do! You know other mutants my age? It’s a really small pool. There’s no app to meet other mutant ladies. Trust me. I check every day.


 

Michelangelo: Hey, guys? If we weren’t monsters that were shunned by society, and could actually do what we wanted, what would you guys do?
Donatello: I mean, if I’m being honest, I’d just be normal. You know?
Raphael: Yeah, like go to high school.
Leonardo: Maybe get a girlfriend, go to prom.
Donatello: With your rizz, not likely.


 

Raphael: I just got to get out of this sewer, man. I like you guys and all, but I just simply cannot live a happy life knowing that your faces are the last things I’m going to see before I die.
Leonardo: Well, guess what, guys? It’s never going to happen, so, let’s just stop talking about it, alright?


 

Raphael: [to Leonardo] Is it weird to have your head so far up Dad’s butt?
Michelangelo: Does it smell weird up there?
Donatello: I bet it smells like cheese and Doritos.
Leonardo: Ha-ha-ha, guys. Very funny!
Donatello: Sorry, we can’t hear you.
Michelangelo: Your voice is too muffled through the cheese.
Raphael: Hey, why not try that Batman voice again.


 

Michelangelo: [holding a water melon over his head] Why did we pick a fruit shaped exactly like my head?
Donatello: Your head looks like Stewie had a baby with “Hey, Arnold”.


 

Leonardo: [referring to April] Guys, she got her scooter stolen, and it’s our fault. We have to fix this.
Donatello: Yeah, man, that sucks. But do we have to fix this? I mean, technically, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, it’s not really our fault.
Leonardo: I got to get the scooter back to this beautiful and charming human woman! Alpha formation, go!
Donatello: Woh. I think all of his hormones just kicked in at once.


 

Goon #1: What the heck are those things?
Goon #2: I think it’s those guys that work in Times Square. You know, the mascots? Yeah, the GEICO geckos.
Goon #1: They look more like little Shreks to me.


 

Leonardo: This is fine. We’ve prepared our whole lives for this.
Donatello: We’ve never actually been in a fight before. And I don’t know if you noticed, but all I’ve got is a big stick. How did I end up with a big stick?

 

'Pizza's made of cheese, and cheese is made of milk, and I'm being milked! It's infiltrated my every thought!' - Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem) Click To Tweet

 

Michelangelo: Maybe we diffuse this sitch with laughter.
Raphael: You’re not funny enough for that, dude.


 

Raphael: I dream about fighting every night.
Michelangelo: You’ve got a rage problem, Raph.
Raphael: It’s not a problem!


 

Michelangelo: Maybe they’ll see the humanity in our tragic backstory.
Goon #1: Murder the Shreks!


 

Donatello: [as they are fighting with the goons] What do we do?
Leonardo: Save the beautiful human woman’s scooter!


 

Donatello: [referring to the goon] He’s Tokyo drifting around us.


 

April O’Neil: [to the Turtles] Hello, I’m an unarmed noncombatant here for her scooter. Y’all got your butts whupped. This is really not how I thought this night was going to go.


 

April O’Neil: I get that you have to huddle, you know what I mean? But the longer you lurk in the shadows, like the more sus it gets every second. You know?
Donatello: She said we’re sus! That’s not good.


 

April O’Neil: Oh, you’re crime-fighters with like turtle costumes. Yeah, I’m going to be honest. I don’t think all the good animals are taken. Sharks. There’s wolves up for grabs. Wow, the costumes are really crazy. These eyes are wet like real eyeballs. How do you get this on and off? That’s your skin! That’s your skin!
Leonardo: That’s my skin.


 

April O’Neil: What are you? What could you be?
Michelangelo: Can we explain this over some pizza?
April O’Neil: How you guys feel about pepperoni?
Leonardo: She’s down for pizza?
Michelangelo: I didn’t think it would get this far.

 

'Even though it looks like we'll never be accepted, I still think we should try to be heroes.' - Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem) Click To Tweet

 

April O’Neil: Okay, you were real baby turtles who made contact with mystery ooze, and therefore started to age from mutant baby turtles to mutant-turtle-men-guys?
Michelangelo: Turtle boys actually.
Leonardo: I would say teens. You know? I would say cool teens. Yeah, we’re cool.
April O’Neil: Teenagers! Amazing. Insane.


 

Michelangelo: Sometimes we pretend to be on Wendy Williams.


 

April O’Neil: Turtle mutant karate teens. I mean, this is a pretty good story.


 

Donatello: We were taught that humans would try to destroy us if they ever found out we ever existed. You know, kill us, or put us in a lab and milk us.
April O’Neil: I wouldn’t milk you. You don’t even have nipples.


 

Michelangelo: Look, human woman. I got a question. So just be straight with me. Do you think there are more people like you? You know, people who will accept us?
April O’Neil: No. No. Absolutely not. Genuinely, no. There’s no way.
Leonardo: I knew it! It’s confirmed. We’re doomed.


 

April O’Neil: [to the Turtles] If I’m being honest, I mean, the reason I’m not scared of you is, you know, you guys helped me out. And if you hadn’t, and I had just like stumbled across you, yeah, I’d be very scared. I’d be really freaked out and disgusted.


 

Donatello: Our dad is definitely not a giant rat.
April O’Neil: That makes me feel like he’s a rat.


 

Michelangelo: I want more, guys. I got the taste of life, and I don’t want to wash it out of my mouth. I want it to linger on my tongue, swish around my throat, and…
Donatello: You’re really driving this metaphor into the ground.

See more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Quotes


 

Leonardo: You guys heard April and the words that came out of her incredibly formed and beautiful mouth. The only reason she liked us was because we saved her. She saw us as heroes.
Donatello: So, what if everyone saw us as heroes?


 

Donatello: We use our ninja skills to take out Superfly. We’ll drag him up to City Hall, dump him on the steps for the cops, and say, “We’re the heroes who stopped Superfly! Yeah, we look a little different, but we’re on your side.” And everyone will all be like, “Hey, those ‘toitles’ are alright. I’m a cabbie from the Bronx.” And then everyone in the city will think we’re cool. They’ll accept us. “Sign my baby!” And then, once the overall fanfare has settled down, we’ll enroll in high school, where we’ll be normal, if not slightly more popular than average, students.


 

Michelangelo: It’s like Hulk in Avengers: Endgame. Sure, he’s a giant, terrifying green monster, but everyone knows he saved them, so they’re taking selfies with him in a diner. You know Mark Ruffalo mostly improvised that scene?
Donatello: I know. He’s good on his feet.
Raphael: Nobody cares about that, okay?


 

April O’Neil: By the way, do you guys have ears?
Michelangelo: Just say yes. Just say yes.
Leonardo: I think so?


 

Leonardo: We eat danger for breakfast.
Michelangelo: Actually, I eat pizza with bits of waffles on it.
Donatello: It’s better than it sounds.
April O’Neil: It actually sounds delicious, honestly.


 

Donatello: Whoever’s locker this is likes anime. I don’t even know this person, and they get me more than anyone ever has!


 

Michelangelo: Wait, what’s our last name?
Leonardo: I’ve never thought about that actually.
Raphael: Do we not have last names?
Donatello: Who are we?


 

Leonardo: Hey, well, at least I’m not “Puke Girl”. That is a bad nickname!
April O’Neil: We don’t know if that says “Puke Girl”. It could be “Poke Girl”. Maybe this girl just likes tuna.
Raphael: Oh, my God. Are you Puke Girl?


 

April O’Neil: [to the Turtles] But maybe you’re not the only ones who want to be heroes so people like them, okay?


 

April O’Neil: [referring to Superfly] Nobody’s ever seen his face.
Michelangelo: Why?
April O’Neil: Because he kills everyone who does.
Michelangelo: Cool.
April O’Neil: No. Not cool.


 

April O’Neil: Short Sharon, Bald Bronson, Toupee Tom and Normal Nate. They are the ones who can lead us to Superfly.
Leonardo: That’s a lot of leads.
Michelangelo: And a lot of terrible nicknames.
Raphael: Still better than Nardo.
Leonardo: We agreed on Leon Ardo.


 

Raphael: Did you get that, April? Did you film that?
April O’Neil: Sorry, am I supposed to film all the stuff you do? Because a lot of it is dumb.


 

Leonardo: Alright, April, we live just up there, but our dad, he doesn’t really like humans.
April O’Neil: Rude. I mean, to be fair, I don’t love rats.


 

April O’Neil: And there’s a cockroach surfing on a turd. Awesome. Good. Love that I’m looking at that.


 

Splinter: [to the Turtles] I think I maybe found a way to make you happy. I brought the human world to you. Look! Human friends. “Hello, I’m a human.” Say hi to Chris. “I’m Chris Pine. Look at my eyebrows. I’m the best Chris.” Amazing, right?


 

Splinter: And watch. I’m a waiter. The full human restaurant experience. Sit down. Let me take your order. It could be anything. But it has to be pizza.


 

Splinter: What’s going on? What are you doing up there? Don’t lie. Tell me. Are you in trouble? Is something wrong? Is someone trying to milk you?
Donatello: No. Ew.
Raphael: No one is trying to milk us, Dad!
Donatello: Why do you always jump straight to milking?


 

Superfly: What the…?! Y’all some little tortoises, huh? Damn! Look at you! Y’all are adorable, man.


 

Donatello: I can’t believe there are other mutants, like us!
Superfly: This is wild! I mean, this is crazy like. Let me guess. Fifteen years ago, right? Some sludge was dumped in the sewer. And y’all came from that?
Raphael: Well we prefer the term “ooze”. But, yeah.
Leonardo: It’s like more, it’s just nicer sounding.
Raphael: It rolls off the tongue better, yeah.
All: Ooze.
Leonardo: It’s nice, right?


 

Superfly: Ooze! I like that. I like ooze. So, look, look, look. That same ooze made me, okay? My dad, Baxter Stockman, he’s the one who dumped the ooze down the drain, baby. So technically, we cousins.


 

Leonardo: We’re cousins. We have like no immediate family other than us.
Michelangelo: I’ve always wanted a cousin.
Superfly: Well, look at you now. You got a bunch.


 

Genghis Frog: Don’t patronize me.


 

Superfly: Mondo, quit hugging everybody.


 

Mondo Gecko: Cowabunga, “bro-sin”! I just made that up.


 

Raphael: I never met anyone else as angry as me.
Bebop: What’s not to be angry about?
Rocksteady: I hate everything!


 

Superfly: What do I want? Oh, easy. Acceptance.
Leonardo: No way, man! We want that too.


 

Superfly: So I decided to kill all the humans and let the mutants rule the earth.
Michelangelo: That’s a take.


 

Donatello: What happens to humans in this plan of yours?
Superfly: Nothing good.


 

Mondo Gecko: We wish there was another way to feel safe and happy, but peoples, they got to go!


 

April O’Neil: [to Leonardo] You stopping them now, or you going to make me film you supplying an evil villain with the last piece of his horrible puzzle?


 

Leonardo: Yoh, Superfly, so what if we’re actually like, I don’t know, I’m just getting silly here, what if we’re not into the plan? What if we don’t like it? What would happen?
Raphael: Just hypothetically speaking, obviously.
Superfly: Well, that would mean that I was wrong about you, and y’all not as cool as I thought you were. And that right there pi** me off!


 

April O’Neil: Okay, it’s go time. Attack these fools.
Michelangelo: Not sure that’s as easy as it sounds. I mean, this dude is literally a rhinoceros, man.


 

Mondo Gecko: Yoh, dudes, you launched me out of the front of that van. That is not cool!
Michelangelo: I’m so sorry. We had to.
Mondo Gecko: You know what? I don’t accept that apology!
Michelangelo: Yeah, I’m not sorry at all, I’m not going to lie.


 

Donatello: [referring to Superfly] He used my stick against me! Now he’s mollywhopping me!


 

Raphael: [referring to Cynthia] She’s going to milk us!


 

Donatello: Does it hurt?
Michelangelo: Of course it hurts! She’s milking me!
Raphael: Try to think of something pleasant to take your mind off the pain.
Leonardo: Yeah. Think of pizza, Mikey! Think of the pizza.
Michelangelo: No, pizza’s made of cheese, and cheese is made of milk, and I’m being milked! It’s infiltrated my every thought!


 

Raphael: This is it, guys. I mean, we’re going to die here getting milked to death in a lab.


 

Leonardo: I can’t believe April just left us. Maybe she was just using us.
Raphael: Well, she ended up getting a great story. “Turtle Boys Give Supervillain Last Part of His Evil Machine.”
Leonardo: You know, that’s actually a pretty good title.
Donatello: Yeah, very clickbaity.
Michelangelo: I’d definitely give that a read.


 

Raphael: Oh, I have so many regrets.
Michelangelo: I wish I could’ve tried frozen yogurt.
Leonardo: You could have!
Michelangelo: I know. And I blew it!


 

Splinter: I just here for my boys, who lied to me. They are in so much trouble right now.
Ratatouille Guard: Oh, is that so, Ratatouille?


 

April O’Neil: It’s a milking machine.
Splinter: See? I told you! They milk you!
April O’Neil: Now I actually might puke.


 

Splinter: Boys, you left the sewer and got milked. You helped some evil fly man create a machine that is going to destroy the world and kill the only good human, April! So, we’re going to clean up your mess, then go home and stay there forever, okay?


 

April O’Neil: Seeing you guys make so many mistakes just to get people to like you made me realize I was definitely doing this for the wrong reason.


 

Superfly: What is it about these stinking humans that you love so much?
Donatello: Humans are complicated creatures. They’re good, like April, and bad, like that lady who milked us.
Bebop: Sorry, did what now?
Splinter: As much as I don’t like them, and trust me, I do not like them, if we kill them, we are no better than they are.


 

Ray Fillet: I kind of don’t want to murder everyone on Earth. I just kind of want to sing.


 

Mondo Gecko: Brah!
Michelangelo: Broski!
Mondo Gecko: Bro!
Michelangelo: Brosanne!
Mondo Gecko: Abracada-brah!


 

Superfly: What the hell y’all doing? Man, stop this kumbaya, I-love-each-other stuff. Kill them fools!


 

Superfly: Rat man! Come on! Help me out! Look, man, we’re basically the same. We both hate humans. I’m just not a punk about it like you!


 

Superfly: This is amazing! I ain’t just Superfly, I’m Super Duper Fly. You know, I mean Missy Elliott Super Duper Fly!


 

Michelangelo: I bet the army will be here soon.
Donatello: Well, according to every Godzilla movie, they’ll eventually get here.


 

Bebop: So, you guys got a good Wi-Fi situation down there? Are you fully able to stream?
Splinter: No!
Bebop: Oh! Okay, no streaming.


 

Splinter: Boys, I messed up. I don’t want to be like Superfly. I love you boys. I want you to be happy. Even though I don’t like humans, I want them to like you, because you want them to like you. So we are going to get that monster. We’re going to take him down. We’re going to film it. We are going to show it to the world. And the world will love you and accept you! And the world will chant, “Turtles, Turtles, Turtles!”
Rocksteady: Oh, man. I am feeling great after that speech, right?
Bebop: It was rousing. I’m fully roused, you know?
Rocksteady: But a little bit of a buzzkill here.
Bebop, Rocksteady: How do we do that?


 

Superfly: What did the claw say to the face? “Smack!”


 

Superfly: [as he’s throwing cars at them] You like these rides right here?
Donatello: Oh, the Mercedes E Class, no!
Raphael: That one’s a Prius. It’s okay.
Leonardo: A Tesla! Somebody’s mad about that.


 

Donatello: [referring to the humans] I don’t think this is going to go down how we wanted it to.
Michelangelo: They hate us.
Raphael: They think we’re villains.
Donatello: No. Worse. They think we’re monsters.
Raphael: We’re never going to be normal.


 

Leonardo: I know we only wanted to be heroes to be accepted. But even though it looks like we’ll never be accepted, I still think we should try to be heroes.


 

Leonardo: Use that rage of yours. Use it to help us.
Raphael: Okay, I will!
Michelangelo: We got to get you into therapy, man.


 

Raphael: You know, just then, for the first time in your life, you didn’t sound lame. You actually sounded like a leader.
Leonardo: I do? Oh, I do! Oh, I sound like such a leader! Holy crap, that’s so dope!
Raphael: And you ruined it.


 

Leonardo: Woh, Dad, you speak the same language as Scumbug?
Splinter: We actually have a lot in common. I’m really attracted to her.
Leonardo: Oh, that’s gross.


 

Raphael: I know I said your faces were the last things I wanted to see before I die, but, you know, now that we’re actually about to die, there’s nothing I’d rather be looking at.
Leonardo: That was so heartfelt.
Michelangelo: I’m crying.
Donatello: Love you, bro.


 

News Reporter: Wait, what’s your name?
April O’Neil: April O’Neil. That’s April O-apostrophe-Neil. Not “Puke Girl”. And if you ever call me “Puke Girl”, bite me. Because I did it! Yeah! Whoo!


 

Splinter: I cannot believe it. Your first day of school! Just remember, you can call anytime you want. If you get scared, there are sewers all over the city. Just hop in a sewer! You can come home anytime. If anyone messes with you, call me. I will kick their butt. And she will eat what’s left.


 

Splinter: I’m proud of you boys. I love you.
Donatello: We love you.
Splinter: Love you too.
Splinter: [to Scumbag] And I love you too, sweetie.
Leonardo: Oh, Dad, really!
Raphael: That’s gross!


 

Michelangelo: [mid-credits lines] G’day, mate. Welcome to my Australian shoe store.
Student: Do you have any Nikes?
Michelangelo: No, but I do have the Australian version. Crikeys!


 

Leonardo: [mid-credits lines] Hey, April, now that prom is back on, do you, I mean, do you maybe want to, well…
April O’Neil: I’d love to, Leo. You looked like you were going to puke there.
Leonardo: I almost did.


 

Cynthia Utrom: [mid-credits lines] Well, it appears as though finding these creatures will be easier than I thought. Capturing them, on the other hand, might prove difficult.
Goon: There is one option.
Cynthia Utrom: Yes. I know. Bring me the Shredder.

 



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