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Starring: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouéré, Alice Krige, Jessica Allain, Nell Hudson, William Hope, Sam Douglas, Jolyon Coy
OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆
Netflix horror slasher sequel directed by David Blue Garcia. Taking place nearly 50 years after the original film, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) follows influencers looking to breathe new life into a Texas ghost town who encounter Leatherface, the infamous killer who wears a mask of human skin.
Narrator: In the summer of 1973, a few miles outside of Austin, Texas, five youths were attacked in a grisly and gruesome fashion by an unidentified madman. The shocking murders were committed with a variety of tools, including hammers, meat hooks, and most disturbingly, a chainsaw.
Narrator: Of the five young victims, only one survived, Sally Hardesty, who after telling her story to the police, never again spoke of the horrors she saw that day. After hearing Hardesty’s account, officials released this composite picture of the killer. He is said to have worn a mask made of human skin. However, his true identity remains a mystery. For the next hour, we’ll take you on a journey into one of Texas’s most famous unsolved murders.
Lila: [referring to Sally] Whatever happened to her? Is she still alive?
Herb The Proprietor: She became a ranger here in Texas. She must have looked for that maniac for more than thirty, forty years.
Lila: So she found him?
Herb The Proprietor: He was wearing a mask. Not easy to locate someone if you don’t know what they look like.
Herb The Proprietor: Oh. I heard about you.
Melody: You did?
Herb The Proprietor: Everybody has. Y’all have a nice day now.
Melody: Thank you.
Herb The Proprietor: [as Melody and Lila leave] Gentri-f***ers.
Melody: [referring to one of the locals, Richter] Look at this guy. Who has such a small d**k they need to walk around in public with a f***ing gun? Like, I mean, is he compensating for something?
Richter: Sorry if a big gun makes you uncomfortable.
Melody: I’ve seen bigger.
Dante: Oh, it’s going to be great. Think about it. We can own all of this, call it Dantopia.
Dante: What? Dantopia.
Ruth: How long have you been sitting on that?
Dante: Like the last forty-eight hours.
Melody: I get it. Dante and Utopia. You’re combining the words.
Melody: [as Richter overtakes them in his truck] What a f***ing psycho.
Ruth: Texas mating ritual.
Melody: Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?
Ruth: He’s just a f***ing coal roller.
Sheriff: Listen, some of us were born here, you know. Saw it in its prime. So please, be respectful for the town.
Melody: We will, sir.
Melody: “When Harlow sunflower blooms…”
Sheriff, Melody: “Winter is doomed.”
Dante: [as they arrive at Harlow] Behold the joys of late-stage capitalism.
Lila: So Harlow is a ghost town.
Dante: Yes. But we have a vision for this place. All it needs is young blood, people like us, tired of the big city, looking for a fresh start.
Melody: This is a chance for people to start fresh somewhere without the violence and the madness. Somewhere safe.
Lila: Okay. And, I mean, seven hours by car? I guess I can say goodbye to my friends forever.
Richter: So you guys are what? Like a cult?
Ruth: We are idealistic individuals who want to build a better world.
Richter: Yeah, that’s a cult.
Dante: [as they see the Confederate flag on their building] What? Are you serious?
Lila: Newsflash, we’re in deep Texas.
Mrs Mc.: [to Dante and Melody] What are you doing in our house?
Melody: I wish I could help you, but you can’t be here. There are shelters for the elderly, and…
Mrs Mc.: Shelter? I’m not going anywhere. I told you. This is our house.
Lila: [as Mrs. Mc is forced to leave her house] Did that not feel like a bad omen to you? This place is cursed now.
Lila: I don’t want to live here! Your whole idea is insane.
Melody: You don’t know what you want.
Lila: Okay, and you do?
Melody: I know that you need me and that you can’t take care of yourself.
Deputy: [referring to Mrs. Mc] Sheriff, I think she croaked.
Lila: So, Richter, why are you such a nihilist?
Richter: A what?
Lila: I mean, anyone who blasts diesel into the atmosphere like that, truly gives zero f***s about like anything.
Richter: I’m a Texan. I don’t like people telling me what to do. Eespecially smug, self-righteous, rich, city folk.
Richter: Ever shot one before?
Lila: No. Been shot at.
Richter: Drunk dad?
Lila: Stonebrook High.
Richter: [referring to surviving the high school shooting] That must be tough, living with that.
Lila: I mean, everyone expects me to do something special with my life now, and I can only disappoint them. My friends were the special ones. Not me.
Melody: [referring to Mrs. Mc] We just killed her.
Dante: Heart disease just killed her. Mel. Where you going, Mel?
Melody: I’m getting Lila and taking her out of here. Okay? This just doesn’t feel right anymore.
Ruth: [referring to Leatherface] He’s wearing her face.
Melody: [to Dante, referring to Mrs. Mc] Please, tell me we didn’t kick her out of her own house.
Sally Hardesty: I fear no evil.
Man: [holds up his phone to video] Try anything and you’re canceled, bro.
Man: [Leatherface turns on his chainsaw] Oh, f***.
Melody: He just, he killed Dante.
Sally Hardesty: It’s him, isn’t it?
Melody: He killed everyone.
Sally Hardesty: Leatherface.
Sally Hardesty: Fifty years I’ve been waiting for this night. Just to see him again.
Melody: Please drive. You have to let us out of here!
Sally Hardesty: I’m sorry, I can’t. Looks like it’s you that he wants. You need to stay until I kill him.
Sally Hardesty: [to Leatherface] Say my name. Say you know me. Say you know what you did to my friends. You don’t remember me.
[Leatherface turns and walks away]
Lila: You know, I was supposed to die in the school that day. So death followed me here.
Melody: [to Lila] I’m not going to let him kill you.
Sally Hardesty: [as she shoots Leatherface] Remember me now? I’m the one that got away, and I’m here to make sure you don’t! M**herf***er.
Melody: He’s going to kill me right now. I’m sorry, there’s no other way. But you, you have to run.
Lila: No. I can’t. I don’t have anyone else. I can’t leave you.
Melody: Yes, you can. You’re the strongest person I know, okay? You never needed me. You can do this. You just have to f***ing run. F***ing run. Run!
Melody: [to Leatherface] I’m sorry. For what I did to your mama. She didn’t deserve that.
Lila: Hey, Leatherf***!
Sally Hardesty: [to Lila] Don’t run. Don’t run. If you run, he’ll never stop haunting you.
Melody: [after they think Leatherface is dead] Are you okay?
Melody: Let’s go home. F*** Harlow.
Lila: Hey, you know what? I changed my mind, actually. I’ll move here with you.
Melody: F*** off.
[suddenly Leatherface smashes through the car window, drags out Melody and decapitates her with the chainsaw]