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Starring: Grace Byers, Jermaine Fowler, Melvin Gregg, X Mayo, Dewayne Perkins, Antoinette Robertson, Sinqua Walls, Jay Pharoah, Yvonne Orji, James Preston Rogers
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Comedy horror directed by Tim Story. The Blackening (2023) centers around a group of Black friends who reunite for a Juneteenth weekend getaway only to find themselves trapped in a remote cabin with a twisted killer. Forced to play by his rules, the friends soon realize this ain’t no m-fing game.
Morgan: But why the hell didn’t you say something? Damn, you almost made me spill my wine.
Shawn: So, you almost break your man nose, but, “Oh, no. My wine?”
Shawn: Is it Blade’s house? Where’s Wesley? I want to talk to Wesley. If it is, you know what they pay you for.
Shawn: [as opens the game room door] Enter my port of doom.
Morgan: The Blackening. Seriously?
Shawn: Yep. What in the Jim Crow f***, right?
Morgan: Uh-uh. This is hella disturbing. Why the hell is this in this house? This was not in any of the reviews. But guess what? It’s about to be.
Blackening Game: Pick a card.
Shawn: At least we know it’s working. S**t probably runs on racism.
Morgan: Now that is one battery that ain’t dying no time soon.
Shawn: What you got?
Morgan: [reading from the card] “You are a Black character in a horror movie. Prove that you can stay alive. Name one Black character that survived a horror movie. You must answer correctly, or you die.” What the hell?
Shawn: Oh. So this is just an aggressively themed trivia game.
Shawn: I know that answer. It is Jada Pinkett, Omar Epps, Scream 2. Boom, Sambo.
Morgan: Them n****s was the first to die. What are you talking about? I honestly think that the studio didn’t have the budget to keep them the whole movie. That’s why they had to die first.
Blackening Game: Your time has run out. You did not answer correctly.
Morgan: But hold up. How the hell does a game know if we answer correctly or not?
Shawn: It don’t. Watch this. You watching us, Sambo?
Blackening Game: Well, yes, I am. It’s time to die.
Lisa: This whole reunion about to crack, and you know Morgan ain’t playing when it comes to the party planning.
Allison: Okay, because we about to turn it all the way up.
Dewayne: Who all going to be there?
Allison: [mind talking] B**ch, you didn’t tell him that Nnamdi was coming?
Lisa: [mind talking] I was going to.
Allison: [mind talking] Really?
Lisa: [mind talking] Hell, no!
Shanika: Okay, Chainsaw Massacre man, I see you.
Shanika: And why do you got so much damn toilet paper?
Clifton: You have so many Rap Snacks. That’s a lot of salt.
Dewayne: Okay, is it just me or is this giving Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Allison: I don’t know. I never seen that film. White people scare me.
Lisa: But your daddy is White.
Allison: Exactly. And, girl, that’s why every single time he gets mad, I’m like, “Oh, Lord, here it comes. Murder-suicide.” You know I’m serious.
Dewayne: Oh, my God. Really, b**ch? A cabin in the woods?
Lisa: It’s technically a house.
'You got Rosa Parks on your shirt, right? Would she be sitting down right now?' - King, 'I mean, that's exactly what she did.' - Allison (The Blackening) Click To Tweet
King: Can’t let the ignorance of his prejudice disrupt our inner peace.
Dewayne: Okay, Gandhi.
Allison: So when did you get all namaste, King?
King: This ain’t the Blackest s**t ever?
Lisa: You know what else is real Black? Diabetes. Ain’t nobody drinking that.
King: I’m going to pray that you get all that hate out your heart.
Lisa: And why would you do that? That’s what keeps me nice and young.
King: I call it King’s Kool-Ayyy.
Nnamdi: The f***, brother. Call it King’s Kool-No.
King: Is it that bad?
Nnamdi: Yes, bro. You tripping. Sugar f*** around and give you a cramp.
Nnamdi: I’m a new man.
King: Wow. You know what I call that?
King: You been saying that same thing like every two years since we met. You do some f*** s**t, you feel bad, you reflect, become a new man. But then the new n**** do some f*** s**t, and the whole cycle just start over again.
Nnamdi: You still a slave to the White man?
King: Y’all going to stop calling my wife the White man, alright? Her name is Jenny. And she ain’t “White” White. She ethnic White. She Armenian.
Nnamdi: Come on, man. That b**ch is dog-kisses on-the-mouth, pumpkin-spice-latte, Sweet-Caroline, Bye-Bye-Bye White.
Nnamdi: Man, you really in the “Sunken Place”.
King: Balls deep, my brother. Balls deep.
Clifton: Anyway, do you guys have an Android charger?
Shanika: I told you, we don’t support that.
Clifton: Alright, well, you can’t win them all.
Shanika: [to Lisa] Ooh, You smell like d**k. What the f*** you been doing?
Shanika: [as she sees Nnamdi] Oh. That’s who you been doing.
Clifton: I accidentally smelled some of the d**k.
Dewayne: A friend of mine once told me, “People can grow.” At the time, I didn’t know what she meant, but now I know that she meant, “Grow apart.” And then they die. And that’s called fate.
Clifton: I love Ouija boards. One time I tried to summon Gary Coleman and he was not happy.
Allison: We literally came all this way to party and play games. So that’s what I’m doing. Oh, come on. This is clearly Morgan’s work. I am not even tripping. Let’s just play.
Nnamdi: Yeah. I’m with Allison. Everybody falling for this fake creepiness. But I’m going to beat her at her own game.
Shanika: Yeah, Morgan. I see you. Game on, b**ch.
Allison: So, I guess the question is how do we play?
King: Ask the little racist n**** here.
Blackening Game: Pick a card and save Morgan.
Shanika: It said our names, y’all. This s**t is “personal” personal.
Allison: So, he just going to force us to do a Black history test?
Dewayne: I don’t understand. Why make us play this game? If you just going to kill us, just kill us.
Shanika: Shut the f*** up, Dewayne.
Lisa: “Name five Black actors that have appeared on the hit TV show Friends.”
Nnamdi: This is a trick question, right?
Dewayne: [referring to Friends] You know, they were very “plug and play” with the Black people on that show.
Shanika: Ooh, b**ch, that’s some good-a** wig glue.
Shanika: None of us m**herf***ing dying today.