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Home / Best Quotes / The Greatest Beer Run Ever (2022) Best Movie Quotes

The Greatest Beer Run Ever (2022) Best Movie Quotes

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Starring: Zac Efron, Russell Crowe, Bill Murray, Jake Picking, Will Ropp, Archie Renaux, Kyle Allen

OUR RATING: ★★½

Story:

Apple TV+ comedy drama directed and co-written by Peter Farrelly. Based on a true story, set in 1967, The Greatest Beer Run Ever (2022) follows John “Chickie” Donohue (Zac Efron), who wants to support his friends fighting in Vietnam, so he does something wild, personally bring them American beer. What starts as a well-meaning journey quickly changes Chickie’s life and perspective as he is confronted with the horrors of war.

 

Our Favorite Quotes:

'Smuggling beer into a war zone. That is not the smartest thing I've ever heard of. It's certainly not the worst either.' - Coates (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes


 

Mr. Donohue: Look at you, sleeping your life away.
Chickie Donohue: I’ll stay awake when I’m dead.


 

Mrs. Donohue: What are you doing tonight, Chickie?
Mr. Donohue: What do you think he’s doing? It’s the same every night with him. Right, he’s off on a toot. He sleeps all day. He’s “Good Time Chickie”. Must be fun.


 

Chickie Donohue: This is my time to kick back and relax a little, like a professor on summer break.
Mr. Donohue: Oh. Oh, yeah. You’re a professor. And your grandmother’s Miss America.


 

Mr. Donohue: When I was your age, I had two jobs. I had three kids. I had a wife.
Chickie Donohue: So it’s my fault you knocked up Ma in high school?
Mrs. Donohue: Chickie! We got pregnant after we were married!
Chickie Donohue: Oh, come on, Ma. You got married in January. Gerard was born in June. It don’t add up.
Mrs. Donohue: It was a leap year.
Chickie Donohue: A what? What does that mean?
Mrs. Donohue: Gerard came early. That’s how it adds up.


 

The Colonel: They should not be showing this on TV. This would not fly back in my day.
Chickie Donohue: There was no TV back in your day.
The Colonel: Yeah. And we were better for it. War is not a TV show. It’s too real-life.
Noodle: And the American people can’t handle real life?
The Colonel: No, they can’t. And they shouldn’t have to. Bringing dead soldiers, guys with no arms and legs, into our living rooms is not helping no one. If they had showed the Battle of the Bulge on TV, we’d have quit after three days. We didn’t. We took our licks, but we pushed them back, and we won.
Noodle: It was a different time. It was a different war, Colonel.


 

Chickie Donohue: Jesus, Danny. Don’t you ever have an opinion that you stick to? You just blow with the wind, don’t you?
Red: No. I just try to be open-minded to everybody’s point of view. Like the way dogs are.
Brendan: “Like the way dogs are”? What’s he saying?
Chickie Donohue: Oh, I’m just saying dogs don’t judge.


 

Protestor #1: [as Chickie blows out the candles] Those candles represent soldiers who were killed in Vietnam!
Chickie Donohue: Oh. Sorry. I thought they were peace candles.
Protestor #2: What, you got a problem with peace?
Chickie Donohue: I got a problem with you, mouth! These demonstrations are hurting our troops!
Red: Yeah, why don’t you just keep marching right up to Canada and lock the key behind you?


 

Chickie Donohue: What the hell are you doing? Go home now! You’re embarrassing yourself, and you’re embarrassing your family.
Christine: Trying to save more Inwood kids from dying is embarrassing myself?
Chickie Donohue: That’s right. Because this, this ain’t helping nobody.
Christine: At least I’m trying to get them home alive. Everyone’s doing something, and you’re doing nothing.


 

Chickie Donohue: I served four years in uniform, starting when I was eighteen years-old.
Christine: You were playing poker in a military base in Massachusetts. You weren’t dodging bullets. You were dodging bar tabs. So quit acting like you’ve been there!


 

Christine: I don’t want to see no more kids die for nothing!
Chickie Donohue: For nothing? They died to save us from communism!


 

Red: I just wish our guys could see that the vast minority of the country’s behind them.
Noodle: You mean vast majority?
Red: Well, no. I wouldn’t go that far. I think most people are behind them. Yeah, sure. But not everyone.


 

The Colonel: You know what I’d like to do? I’d like to go over to Vietnam, and track down Reynolds, Collins, Pappas, Duggan, Minogue. You know, all the boys in the neighborhood. And just give them a beer, you know? To say thank you.


 

Chickie Donohue: I could do that.
Red: Do what?
Chickie Donohue: Bring them beer. I could sign up for a ship headed to ‘Nam. Drop off a few brews.

 

'Every once in a while you run into a guy who's too dumb to get killed.' - Sgt. Mojor Perez (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) Click To Tweet

 

Red: Are you serious, Chick? You can just hop on a merchant marine ship, and drive over there?
Noodle: Of course he’s not serious. He’s hammered. Look at him.
The Colonel: The man is stone sober. That’s his fifth beer, maybe, tops.


 

Brendan: Don’t bulls**t us, Chick. Could you really pull this off?
Chickie Donohue: Could, would, and will. That’s a promise. I’m going to show them that this neighborhood and this country is still behind them.


 

Chickie Donohue: It’ll prop our boys up. Maybe a good old American beer will remind them what they’re fighting for.
Noodle: Thank God someone knows.


 

Chickie Donohue: Jesus, those guys are putting the horse way in front of the cart.
Red: What do you mean?
Chickie Donohue: I never said I was going to Vietnam. I said I was going to try to go.


 

Chickie Donohue: Why do they think I’m not going?
Red: Well, no offense, but, come on, Chick. There’s a lot of things you say you’re going to do that you don’t get around to doing because, you know, you get busy.

 

'You're going to find out it's a lot harder to get out of a war than it is to get into one.' - Harbormaster (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) Click To Tweet

 

Christine: So, I’m just curious, how many pops in were you when you came up with this brilliant notion?
Chickie Donohue: So, Christine, you saying I’d have to be drunk to want to support my friends in Vietnam?


 

Mrs. Donohue: You’ll talk him into this foolishness and get him killed.
Mr. Donohue: Stop it, Catherine. No one’s ever gotten killed sleeping till three in the afternoon. Chickie’s fine.


 

Christine: [after finding a cargo ship heading to Vietnam] Please don’t do this. This is the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Chickie Donohue: Dumber than carrying around signs, calling our friends baby killers?
Christine: Don’t give me that s**t. I wasn’t carrying that sign.
Chickie Donohue: Yeah, but you were marching with someone who was. Just imagine being a soldier, just got home, and that’s the first thing he sees, is that sign.


 

Christine: You’re going to get yourself killed there.
Chickie Donohue: No, I’m not.
Christine: Yes, you are! I don’t get it. Why are you doing this?
Chickie Donohue: It’s like you said. Everyone’s doing something. I’m doing nothing.

 

'The truth doesn't hurt us. It's the lies. The lies and the conspiracy to distort the truth.' - Coates (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) Click To Tweet

 

Captain: S**t’s hit the fan up there. You could be walking into a bloodbath. You know that, right?
Chickie Donohue: Well, he’s my brother.


 

Captain: Okay. You got three days. It’s 8:05. If you’re not back here in seventy-two hours and one second, you better be dead.
Chickie Donohue: Yes, sir. You have my word, sir!


 

Chickie Donohue: I just brought him a couple of beers from New York.
Military Policeman: Seriously, pal, why you looking for Collins?
Chickie Donohue: No, I’m being serious. This whole thing’s full of beer from back home.


 

Erickson: Got some pretty screwy friends, Collins.
Chickie Donohue: Oh, without a doubt. Guess what? This screwy friend just came ten thousand nautical miles to deliver your a** a sudsy thank-you card.


 

Chickie Donohue: Like my grandfather used to say, always ring the doorbell with your elbow.
Tom Collins: And that, my friends, is called the Irish hello.

 

'That's what war is. It's one giant crime scene.' - Coates (The Greatest Beer Run Ever) Click To Tweet

 

Tom Collins: I still can’t believe you came all this way just to bring me a beer.
Chickie Donohue: Not just you. I came for Duggan, Reynolds, Pappas. All the guys.
Tom Collins: That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard of.


 

Chickie Donohue: You’re kidding me. He thinks I’m CIA? Like James Bond?


 

Tom Collins: You can’t be serious about this, Chick. Come on, man. You did it. You got me hammered in Vietnam, and I’m sure we’re going to have a lot of laughs about this forever. Let’s quit while we’re ahead, huh?
Chickie Donohue: I didn’t come all this way just to quit after one night.
Tom Collins: What am I supposed to do? Let you go out there like a babe in Toyland and get your brains blown out like Knopf did?

See more The Greatest Beer Run Ever Quotes


 

Tom Collins: You don’t get it, do you, Chick? This isn’t a John Wayne movie, alright? Where you know who the good guys are and the bad guys are. Alright? This is guerrilla warfare, and they can come at you from anywhere, at any time. And bringing beers into a f***ing war zone? That’s a bat s**t crazy idea. I mean, you didn’t really think you can pull this off, did you?


 

Chickie Donohue: Look, I don’t care what you think of him personally as a person, but you got to respect the Office of the President of the United States. I mean, look who he is.
Correspondent Woelfel: You expect us to respect the man who’s telling the American people we’re actually winning the war? And that we, the media, are keeping it a secret?
Chickie Donohue: If the shoe fits.


 

Chickie Donohue: Look, I’m just saying, you might want to support our boys every once in a while.
Coates: Telling the truth about this war is being supportive of our boys.
Chickie Donohue: Well, it sure don’t come across that way on my TV.


 

Chickie Donohue: I just traveled twelve thousand nautical miles to bring all my enlisted friends a gift.
Coates: What kind of gift?
Chickie Donohue: Beer. Beat that.
Coates: Beer? They can get beer here, you know?
Chickie Donohue: Yeah, but not American beer. Yeah, but this beer came all the way from New York.


 

Chickie Donohue: Listen, the beer’s not the point. The point is that I’m trying to show them that somebody back home still gives a s**t.
Journalist: Well, I give him credit. It may be idiotic, but it’s a noble gesture.


 

Lt. Habershaw: If someone wanted to do what you do, how does one go about getting noticed by Langley?
Chickie Donohue: Langley?
Lt. Habershaw: Headquarters. How do the big boys at the CIA find you?
Chickie Donohue: Just be a good soldier and a good person.
Lt. Habershaw: Oh, I am, sir.


 

Chickie Donohue: Ta-da.
Rick Duggan: Chickie? What are you doing here?
Chickie Donohue: I brung you beer.


 

Rick Duggan: Seriously, Chickie, what the hell are you doing here? Really.
Chickie Donohue: Me and all the fellas were sitting around talking about what we could do to bring your spirits up. And then, bang! It hit us. Bring you a beer. So, I brought you a beer.
Rick Duggan: You dumb s**t!
Chickie Donohue: What?
Rick Duggan: You almost got me killed out there!


 

Rick Duggan: Chickie, are you nuts?
Chickie Donohue: What? No.
Rick Duggan: You’re delivering beer in a battle zone?
Chickie Donohue: Yeah, so? It’s fine.


 

Chickie Donohue: I’m not doing this for laughs, Ricky! I’m doing it for you, for all you guys.
Rick Duggan: This is a goddamn war, Donohue. You shouldn’t be here.


 

Rick Duggan: Chickie, get back to your boat right now. Forget about the other guys. You can buy them a beer when they get home. This is serious s**t out here.
Chickie Donohue: Yeah, I know.
Rick Duggan: No. No, obviously you don’t, or you wouldn’t be here! You keep on this stupid beer run, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance you’re going tits up.


 

Rick Duggan: [to Chickie] You want a taste of Vietnam? You’re about to get it. Grab your s**t.


 

Chickie Donohue: [referring to the gun] What’s this for?
Sgt. Mojor Perez: To shoot the bad guys, dodo. If it looks like you’re going to be taken for prisoner, shoot yourself, or they’ll torture you for info.
Chickie Donohue: For info? Hold on. I don’t have any info.
Sgt. Mojor Perez: They don’t know that, a**hole!


 

Rick Duggan: Are you ready?
Chickie Donohue: I guess. What are we doing?
Rick Duggan: We’re going to run for our lives.


 

Rick Duggan: We’re halfway home.
Chickie Donohue: Halfway?!


 

Chickie Donohue: Let’s go back.
Rick Duggan: Just as bad going back as it is going forward.
Chickie Donohue: Well then let’s just stay here.
Rick Duggan: Here? We’re in no-man’s land.
Chickie Donohue: So? I’m okay with that.


 

Chickie Donohue: All I could think about, “What if these are the last moment of your life?”
Rick Duggan: And all I could think was, “I hope they’re aiming at the a**hole in the checkered shirt.”


 

Gines: Who’s this hand-job?
Rick Duggan: He’s my next-door neighbor. He brought me a beer.
Gines: What the hell does that mean?
Rick Duggan: It means he jumped on a freight in New York. Came all the way out here. Bring me a beer.
Gines: Seriously?
Rick Duggan: Yeah.


 

Soldier: Wait a minute. Are you telling me you don’t have to be here, and you’re here?
Chickie Donohue: Yeah.


 

Gines: I went home after my first tour. I didn’t fit in. So, I came back. Twice. I’m way more at home here.


 

Rick Duggan: Come on. Time to go.
Chickie Donohue: Is it over?
Rick Duggan: Yeah. You’re dead.


 

Rick Duggan: [to Chickie] That’s not a rock you’re sitting on. That’s elephant s**t.


 

Rick Duggan: Well, thanks for coming all the way out here, Chick. You’re probably the only crazy b****rd on earth to do something like this.


 

Sgt. Mojor Perez: [to Rick, referring to Chickie] Don’t worry about him. Every once in a while you run into a guy who’s too dumb to get killed.


 

Chickie Donohue: [to Tommy, flashback] You’re going over there to defend the United States of America. How could that possibly not be the right thing to do?


 

Kevin McLoone: Why are you in the middle of the jungle in the middle of Vietnam?
Chickie Donohue: Long story. But the CIA, they’re after me, man. They’re trying to kill me.


 

Chickie Donohue: I’m sorry about this, Kev. I really appreciate it.
Kevin McLoone: Hey, it’s not every day you get to help a secret agent in need.


 

Chickie Donohue: I’m a civilian, and I just need to get out of this war.
Harbormaster: Well, you’re going to find out it’s a lot harder to get out of a war than it is to get into one. My suggestion, go to your plan B.
Chickie Donohue: I don’t have a plan B.
Harbormaster: Well, off the top of my head, I’d say you’re borked.


 

Chickie Donohue: Why do you guys just report the bad stuff? That’s what we hear back home. I mean, doesn’t that hurt us? Like as a country?
Coates: The truth? The truth hurts us? No. The truth doesn’t hurt us. It’s the lies. The lies and the conspiracy to distort the truth. That’s what hurts America.


 

Coates: They’re just kids. Good kids being patriots. Doing what their country asks. And I want the truth told for them.


 

Coates: You okay?
Chickie Donohue: Yeah.
Coates: Don’t forget to breathe.


 

Coates: Smuggling beer into a war zone. That is not the smartest thing I’ve ever heard of. It’s certainly not the worst either.


 

Chickie Donohue: I got a friend in Long Binh! I got to get over there!
Coates: You don’t even know how to get there.
Chickie Donohue: I’ll follow the mushroom cloud!


 

Bobby Pappas: Really? They had to flatten my entire base to get you to visit me?
Chickie Donohue: Goddamn, it’s good to see you.
Bobby Pappas: Heard a rumor you were coming. Bringing beer or some s**t.


 

Chickie Donohue: [referring to the beer] It’s just a little thank you from everybody back home.
Bobby Pappas: For what?
Chickie Donohue: For what? For this. For all this. For putting yourself on the line for us.
Bobby Pappas: And a goddamn beer’s supposed to make it all okay?


 

Coates: I don’t need to get out of Vietnam.
Chickie Donohue: What? What are you talking about?
Coates: I’m a war correspondent, Chick. This is a war. Somebody’s got to be here to see what’s going on.


 

Chickie Donohue: Don’t be dumb, Arthur. This ain’t a war no more. It’s mass murder.
Coates: That’s what war is, Chick. It’s one giant crime scene.


 

Coates: [to Chickie] Hey, when you get home, do me a favor. Take a bath.


 

Chickie Donohue: Look, Habershaw, I got to come clean. I’m not CIA.
Lt. Habershaw: Yeah, right.
Chickie Donohue: No, really. I’m not.
Lt. Habershaw: You’re not?
Chickie Donohue: No.
Lt. Habershaw: So what are you?
Chickie Donohue: I’m nothing.
Lt. Habershaw: [not believing him] You guys are the f***ing best.


 

Bobby Pappas: You got a good heart, Chickie. It’s your brain that I’m worried about.


 

Leary: So how was the trip? You must have had a ball.
Brendan: A ball? He was in a war, for Christ sake. It must have been hell.
Leary: Yeah. I mean, it must have been hell. And if you ever want to talk about it, ever, I’m here for you. And if you don’t, I won’t.
Chickie Donohue: Jesus Christ. You flip-flopping son of a b**ch.


 

Chickie Donohue: I mean, it’s tough to make sense of anything over there.
The Colonel: Well, that’s what war is. It’s a messy business.
Chickie Donohue: Yeah. Yeah, but Colonel, all due respect, this is different. It’s chaotic.
The Colonel: They all are. But it’s a controlled chaos.
Chickie Donohue: Not this time. The chaos over there isn’t under control. It’s not under control at all.


 

Chickie Donohue: Look, I know our granddads and our dads, they went over to Europe to save the world. And I would put today’s guys up there with them any day. And I mean any day. But I’m not so sure we’re saving the world this time.


 

Mrs. Minogue: I’m proud of you for going over there, Chickie. No one else would do that.
Chickie Donohue: It was pointless. It didn’t help no one.
Mrs. Minogue: It helped us. Everyone in Inwood. It felt good knowing that someone was over there, checking on our boys.


 

Chickie Donohue: I’m the one who talked Tommy into going.
Mrs. Minogue: What? No, he wanted to go.
Chickie Donohue: No, he didn’t. I knew Tommy was scared. Everyone knew. So, I talked him into it. I don’t know why. I didn’t want him to be afraid. But I should have let him be afraid. I should have let him listen to himself instead of listening to me. I’m sorry.


 

Christine: So did you give them their stupid beers, or did you drink them all before you got there?
Chickie Donohue: They got the stupid beers.
Christine: Well, I’m sure it meant a lot to them.


 

Christine: You okay?
Chickie Donohue: Got to change a few things up.
Christine: Such as?
Chickie Donohue: A little less drinking. A little more thinking.
Christine: You really going to quit drinking?
Chickie Donohue: I said “less drinking”. I saved the last one for you.

 

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