Starring: Paul Giamatti, Dominic Sessa, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Carrie Preston, Naheem Garcia
OUR RATING: ★★★★½
Story:
Comedy drama directed by Alexander Payne. The Holdovers (2023) follows Paul Hunham (Paul Giamatti), a curmudgeonly teacher at a New England prep school who is forced to remain on campus during Christmas break to supervise the handful of students with nowhere to go. Eventually he forms an unlikely bond with one of them, Angus (Dominic Sessa), a damaged, brainy troublemaker, and with the school’s head cook, Mary (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), who has just lost a son in Vietnam.
Where to Watch:
Best Quotes
Paul Hunham: [as he’s marking the students exams] Philistines. Lazy, vulgar, rancid little Philistines.
'Not for ourselves alone are we born.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Paul Hunham: [referring to a former student] That boy is too dumb to pour pi** out of a boot. A genuine troglodyte.
Dr. Hardy Woodrup: Jesus Christ, Paul.
Paul Hunham: As Dr. Greene used to say, “Our one true purpose is to produce young men of good character.”
Dr. Hardy Woodrup: I don’t care what Dr. Greene used to say.
Paul Hunham: “And we cannot sacrifice our integrity on the altar of their entitlement.”
Dr. Hardy Woodrup: [to Hunham] Your only task is to ensure the boys absolute safety and good condition. And at least pretend to be a human being. Please. It’s Christmas.
Paul Hunham: [after he hands out the students marked papers] I can tell by your faces that many of you are shocked at the outcome. I, on the other hand, am not, because I had the misfortune of teaching you this semester. And even with my ocular limitations, I witnessed firsthand your glazed uncomprehending expressions.
Teddy Kountze: Sir, I don’t understand.
Paul Hunham: That’s glaringly apparent.
Teddy Kountze: No. I can’t fail this class.
Paul Hunham: Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Mr. Kountze. I truly believe that you can.
Teddy Kountze: I’m supposed to go to Cornell.
Paul Hunham: Unlikely.
Teddy Kountze: Extra reading over vacation and no makeup test? Are you f***ing kidding me? Nice work, a**s.
Angus Tully: Can you not talk, please? I’m trying to pray.
Teddy Kountze: You better pray I don’t catch you alone, because I will full-on nut-punch you.
Angus Tully: Tone it down. Jesus can hear you.
Paul Hunham: I suspect that, like me, this is not how you wanted to spend your holidays, but such are the vicissitudes of life. And as Barton men, we learn to confront our challenges with heads held high, and with a spirit of courage and good fellowship. In strict accordance with the dictates of the manual, of course.
Angus Tully: [referring to Hunham] This is the most bulls**t ever. If we have to stay, why did we have to draw Walleye?
Jason Smith: You know he used to be a student, right?
Angus Tully: Yeah. That’s why he knows how to inflict maximum pain on us, the sadistic f***.
'Life is like a henhouse ladder. S**tty and short.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Mary Lamb: I heard you got stuck with babysitting duty this year. How did you manage that?
Paul Hunham: Oh, I don’t know. I suppose I failed someone who richly deserved it.
Mary Lamb: Oh. The Osgood kid? Yeah, he was a real a**hole. Rich and dumb. Popular combination around here.
Paul Hunham: It’s a plague.
Paul Hunham: We’ll do it like the Roman legions. Absent a confession, one man’s sin is every man’s suffering. For every minute the truth is withheld, you will all receive a detention.
Angus Tully: And I thought all the Nazis were hiding in Argentina.
Paul Hunham: Stifle it, Tully.
Paul Hunham: Now, in the first of said detentions, you will clean the library, top to bottom. Scraping the underside of the desks, which are caked with snot, and gum, and all manner of ancient, unspeakable proteins. Ah, on your hands and knees, down in the dust, breathing in the dead skin of generations of students and desiccated cockroach a**holes.
Alex Ollerman: It was Kountze! Kountze started it.
Paul Hunham: During the Third Punic campaign, 149 to 146 BC, the Romans laid siege to Carthage for three entire years. By the time it ended, the Carthaginians were reduced to eating sand and drinking their own urine. Hence the term “punitive”.
Paul Hunham: You know, Mr. Kountze, for most people, life is like a henhouse ladder. S**tty and short. You were born lucky. Maybe someday, you entitled little degenerates will appreciate that. If you don’t, I feel sorry for you. And we will have failed to do our jobs.
'The world doesn't make sense anymore. I mean, it's on fire. The rich don't give a s**t. Poor kids are cannon fodder. Integrity is a punch line. Trust is just a name on a bank.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Mary Lamb: [referring to The Newlywed Game] It’s a show where they ask couples questions to see how well they know each other.
Paul Hunham: That sounds like courting disaster.
Mary Lamb: Yeah, that’s the whole damn point.
Mary Lamb: So, how are the boys?
Paul Hunham: Broken in body and spirit.
Mary Lamb: Okay. Well, it is the holidays. So, you know, go easy on them.
Paul Hunham: Oh, please. They’ve had it easy their whole lives.
Mary Lamb: You don’t know that. Did you? Besides, everybody should be with their people on Christmas.
Mary Lamb: [as they’re watching The Newlywed Game] Those two are going to get a divorce.
Paul Hunham: How do you know?
Mary Lamb: I recognize that look of stale disappointment. She hates him.
Mary Lamb: [referring to her son] You know he flourished here.
Paul Hunham: Yes. No. He was a great kid. I had him one semester. Very insightful.
Mary Lamb: He hated you. He said you were a real a**hole.
Paul Hunham: Well, like I said, sharp kid. Insightful.
Mary Lamb: I can hear everything you’re saying from the kitchen. Especially that Kountze kid. Crown prince of all the little a**holes.
Paul Hunham: Alright, you fetid layabouts. It’s daylight in the swamp! Arise!
Alex Ollerman: It’s gone! My glove’s gone.
Angus Tully: [referring to Kountze] Twisted f***er orphaned that glove on purpose. Left you with one so the loss would sting that much more.
'If you truly want to understand the present, or yourself, you must begin in the past. You see, history is not simply the study of the past. It is an explanation of the present.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Angus Tully: [to Ye-Joon] Shh. Stop crying. If they hear you, they’ll crucify you. Which would be ironic since you’re Buddhist.
Ye-Joon Park: I know this is an excellent school, and my brothers went here, but I miss my family, and I have no friends.
Angus Tully: Yeah, well, friends are overrated.
Mary Lamb: How about you? You ever been married?
Paul Hunham: No. I did get close once. Right after college.
Mary Lamb: And?
Paul Hunham: We came to our senses. This is not exactly a face forged for romance, Mary.
Paul Hunham: I don’t know. I like being alone. I’ve always found myself drawn to the aesthetic. Like a monk. The forgoing of sensual pleasures for the achievement of spiritual goals.
Mary Lamb: Spiritual goals? You? What spiritual goals are we talking about? You go to church?
Paul Hunham: Only when required.
Mary Lamb: Exactly.
Angus Tully: Why not just write a book?
Paul Hunham: I’m not sure I have an entire book in me.
Mary Lamb: You can’t even dream a whole dream, can you?
Paul Hunham: I’m looking after you.
Angus Tully: Looking after me? Really? Like what? Like my warden? Like my butler? There’s nobody here, okay? Just us two losers and a grieving mom. So let’s cut the s**t. You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.
Paul Hunham: That’s a detention. You just earned yourself a detention, sir. Now, get back here!
Angus Tully: Being here with you is already one big f***ing detention!
Paul Hunham: Son of a b**ch. That’s another detention!
Paul Hunham: [after Angus dislocates his shoulder] If Woodrup finds out, the facts won’t matter. He’ll make it my fault.
Angus Tully: It is your fault! You were supposed to be looking after me.
Paul Hunham: I told you to stop.
Angus Tully: You said you washed your hands of me.
Paul Hunham: No, I meant it metaphorically!
Angus Tully: Of course you meant it metaphorically. What were you going to do, actually go and wash your hands?
'World is decay. Life is perception.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Paul Hunham: [to Angus, after his accident] This is the end. They’ll inform the school, who will inform your parents, and then it’s curtains.
Paul Hunham: You’re going to get me fired. You.
Angus Tully: I’m the one that might lose an arm, and all you can think about is yourself.
Paul Hunham: Barton men don’t do that.
Angus Tully: Do what?
Paul Hunham: Barton men don’t lie.
Angus Tully: Yeah, well, I had momentum.
Paul Hunham: This all remains entre nous. Got it? You know what entre nous means?
Angus Tully: Oui, monsieur. Now you owe me.
Paul Hunham: Owe you? Oh, do not try to leverage me, Mr. Tully.
Angus Tully: All I’m looking for is a little thank-you that I did something nice for you. That’s all.
Angus Tully: [referring to Lydia] You two have chemistry.
Paul Hunham: Okay. That’s the Percodan talking.
Angus Tully: I don’t know, seeing her like this, I think she’s pretty attractive.
Paul Hunham: Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.
'I find the world a bitter and complicated place, and it seems to feel the same way about me.' - Paul Hunham (The Holdovers) Share on X
Miss Lydia Crane: So, how’d you get stuck holding over? I thought it was Mr. Endicott’s year.
Paul Hunham: No, I know. I’m being punished. Yeah, Dr. Woodrup is…
Miss Lydia Crane: A pompous a** with a dictator complex? Oops. What I meant to say was, well, he’s a lovely compassionate educator with a really groovy beard.
Paul Hunham: [referring to Woodrup] You know, I’ve had a lot of former students ascend to positions of authority. He’s the only one I’ve ever had to report to.
Miss Lydia Crane: He was your student?
Paul Hunham: Oh, yes. My first year teaching, and he was an a**hole even then.
Angus Tully: Why did you buy those guys beers? They’re a**holes.
Paul Hunham: That’s one way to look at it.
Angus Tully: [after Paul’s told him his body smells because it can’t break down trimethylamine] No wonder you’re afraid of women.
Paul Hunham: I am not afraid of women! Jesus f***ing Christ.
Angus Tully: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Dr. Gertler says I don’t always give consideration to my audience.
Paul Hunham: Ah. And who is Dr. Gertler?
Angus Tully: My shrink.
Paul Hunham: Has Dr. Gertler ever tried a good swift kick in the a**?
Angus Tully: Now your turn. Go ahead. Tell me something about me. Something negative.
Paul Hunham: Something negative about you?
Angus Tully: Sure. Just one thing.
Paul Hunham: Just one?
Paul Hunham: [as he’s helping Mary in the kitchen] This is very therapeutic.
Mary Lamb: Try it when you’re stuck serving three hundred little s**ts, and all they do is complain. Then you tell me how therapeutic it is.
Paul Hunham: Well, fair enough.
'The Greeks had the idea that the steps you take to avoid your fate are the very steps that lead you to it. But that's just a literary conceit. In real life, your history does not have to dictate your destiny.' - Paul Hunham (The… Share on X
Paul Hunham: [referring to Angus] I can’t trust him in a social situation.
Mary Lamb: Mr. Hunham, if you’re too chickens**t to go to this party, then just say that. But don’t f*** it up for the little a**hole. What’s wrong with you? It’s just a party. What are you afraid of?
Paul Hunham: I don’t know.
Mary Lamb: S**t. Now you got me nervous.
Miss Lydia Crane: This is my niece Elise.
Angus Tully: “Niece Elise.” Nice.
Elise: I mean, every child is an artist. The problem is remaining an artist when we grow up. Picasso said that.
Angus Tully: Picasso’s cool.
Mary Lamb: [at the Christmas party] They put me in charge of the music.
Danny: Who put you in charge of the music?
Mary Lamb: I did.
Elise: Are you trying to look down my shirt?
Angus Tully: No. Yes.
Paul Hunham: The world doesn’t make sense anymore. I mean, it’s on fire. The rich don’t give a s**t. Poor kids are cannon fodder. Integrity is a punch line. Trust is just a name on a bank.
Miss Lydia Crane: Well, look, if that’s all true, then now is when they most need someone like you.
Miss Lydia Crane: [referring to Angus] I mean, he may be a little difficult, but he’s still, he’s just a kid. Life catches up to them so fast. Them. Ha. Us.