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Starring: Kevin Hart, Woody Harrelson, Kaley Cuoco, Ellen Barkin, Jasmine Mathew
OUR RATING: ★★½
Netflix action comedy directed by Patrick Hughes. The Man From Toronto (2022) centers on a case of mistaken identity that arises after a screw-up sales consultant, Teddy (Kevin Hart), and the world’s deadliest assassin, Randy (Woody Harrelson), known as The Man from Toronto, run into each other at a holiday rental.
Our Favorite Quotes:'Never box at me again without actually punching me in the face.' - The Man from Toronto Click To Tweet
Todd: [referring to The Man from Toronto] You may not talk to me, but everybody talks to him.
The Man from Toronto: [to the prisoner] when I looked back, I learned the last thing that my unfortunate grandfather would ever teach me. Bears have very sharp claws, which they use to fillet the skin off their still-breathing victims. I share this with you because when you beg for your life, I’m not going to hear your screams. Any feeling I once had dried up on that frozen lake long ago.
The Man from Toronto: [to the prisoner] After I remove your eyes, your ears, and balls, all your sensory organs, if you still haven’t told me what I need to know. I’m going to fillet you like that bear did my grandfather.
Todd: I’m going to tell my grandkids of this, one day. Or nobody. Ever.
The Man from Toronto: I like you. Tell your wife wild juniper’s the secret. Not the store-bought. It looks like bunny s**t, so better smell it first.
Lori: That’s what they call it at the firm now. If a paralegal screws up, they say they Teddyed it.
Teddy: They named a screw-up after me?
Lori: You’re actually a verb now.
Teddy: I’m just waiting for the right time.
Lori: Well, there’s never going to be a right time, honey. You just have to do it.
Teddy: The money that’s going to come is going to be ridiculous. I’m going to pay our tax lien off. I’m going to fix this place up. It’s going to happen.
Lori: You think maybe we could start with some light bulbs and toner?
Teddy: That’s what Teddying it looks like, right?
Teddy: I decided to put up the first workout video, just to get a response. Three comments. And the questions are simple. They’re like, “What is this?”
Teddy: Digest it.
Marty: Could be the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. Sales is not your forte.
Teddy: I’ll be honest with you, Marty. I don’t know what that word means.
Marty: See these flyers you made up? I spent my entire marketing budget on these things, and we ain’t got one bite.
Teddy: Marty, they’re going to come through that door any day, any minute. You just got to be patient. You know that.
Marty: Well, they would be. If you had put the address on this thing!
Teddy: What? I mean, Marty, who really needs addresses?
Marty: My customers.
Teddy: Then they’ll call you, Marty.
Marty: You left out the phone number too.
Teddy: Dammit, did I?
The Handler: [over phone] Ready to go back to work?
The Man from Toronto: The only thing I’m working on is my breakfast.
Oscar: You’re early.
Teddy: Well, if you’re on time, you’re late. Ain’t that right?
Teddy: This is just a warm-up. You know, when you ain’t did it in a while, things can get a little animal. Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Got to tap into that danger zone. Start using safe words.
Oscar: I can’t say that I do.
Teddy: Oh, you probably got safe sentences. Safe paragraphs.
'There's never going to be a right time. You just have to do it.' - Loir (The Man From Toronto) Click To Tweet
Teddy: I’m sorry if you can hear this. I got a strong stream. Been like this since I was six. It’s called “a consistent flow”, that’s what the doctor said. A little above average for my size. I’m at the tail end of it now though.
Oscar: [to the tied up prisoner] Mr. Coughlin, allow me to introduce the Man from Toronto.
Teddy: What? Hold on. Wait a second. The Man from Toronto?
Teddy: [to the prisoner] Everybody here must know who I am. Now, if you know what I know, that’s that I love to communicate. So let’s figure out the best way to talk. Right? I hope you understand what I’m saying. Last I checked, communication is key to understanding.
Teddy: Look at my thumbs. Because it’s the last thing you’re going to see. Look at this. Look at me, I’m going to do it.
Coughlin: Oh, God, no.
Teddy: [after the FBI catch him] It was a low toner situation. Me and my wife, we were going to a cabin. But because of the low toner, I couldn’t make out the address. I didn’t know if it was a six, or an eight. Look, I’m not the Man from Toronto, okay? I’m actually just an idiot from Yorktown.
The Handler: [over phone] Why did I just get word that information was secured?
The Man from Toronto: Not by me, it wasn’t.
The Handler: Some cut-rate operator just got lucky?
The Man from Toronto: Or made a giant mistake.
Agent Lawrence: [as he sees Teddy’s email] Who the hell still uses Hot mail?
'Communication is key to understanding.' - Teddy (The Man From Toronto) Click To Tweet
Agent Lawrence: [referring to Santoro] She’ll be in great hands, sir.
Teddy: Oh, she ain’t going to be in his hands. Not those soft, well-manicured hands. I’m not passing my wife off to this man. A good-looking man like this, that’s going to obviously be charming.
Teddy: [referring to Davis] Why can’t it be his ugly a**? Why can’t he go? If it was him, no problem.
Agent Santoro: Sir, does your wife prefer Swedish or deep tissue?
Teddy: What are you talking about?
The Handler: [over phone] Did this grifter leave a signature of any kind?
The Man from Toronto: It would take a real pro to make it look this amateur.
The Handler: [over phone] You drive into a trap, you’re on your own.
The Man from Toronto: That’s one way to look at it. The other way is, their trap’s going to drive right into me.
Agent Davis: [after the FBI have told Teddy to continue being Toronto] The meet is near the entrance of the museum. They’ll say, “O the bleeding drops of red.” Then you’ll say, “Where on the deck my captain lies, Fallen cold and dead.” Got it?
Teddy: No, I do not have it. What? What was that? When did we turn this into a Shakespeare play in the damn park? What, are you serious?
Agent Davis: It’s Walt Whitman!
Agent Davis: The Man from Toronto always picks a password from 19th century American poetry. It’s in the file, Teddy.
Teddy: Oh. Okay. Well, then that clears it up. It was in the file. As if I know what I’m reading!
Teddy: [to the thugs] Y’all don’t do a lot of talking, huh? My type of people. I don’t like to talk either. Especially in the air. What is there to talk about? Nothing.
The Man from Toronto: This man is an imposter.
Teddy: Objection. I mean, no. Stop. I’m interrupting that. Because those are those are allegations with no ground. You’re an imposter, and cut it out.
The Man from Toronto: I’m surprised at you gentlemen. That you could actually believe that this whiny little mosquito is actually the Man from Toronto.
Teddy: Gentlemen. Trust me. I’m the Man from Toronto. And I don’t know where you’re from either, but I know that I come from a frozen lake fifty miles from nowhere.
The Man from Toronto: Are you stealing my origin story?
'It would take a real pro to make it look this amateur.' - The Man from Toronto Click To Tweet
Teddy: [referring to Keats] You got some sack on you to come up here without gender etiquette. He may not identify as a “he” anymore. It’s all about being gender-neutral. Obviously, you didn’t get the message. What’s your deal? You don’t know who you’re offending. Now you okay? Is anybody offended? Are you offended? If so, this is the time to speak up. You owe a gender-neutral apology right now.
The Man from Toronto: I apologize, gentle people.
The Man from Toronto: [to Teddy] Never, ever lever!
Teddy: The guys at the cabin, they thought I was you. It’s a mistake, man!
The Man from Toronto: You’re the mistake. This is a full-on pig f***.
Teddy: I don’t know what that means.
Teddy: Right now, my priority is getting back to my wife. My wife has a birthday dinner. 7:00 PM.
The Man from Toronto: You’re lying.
Teddy: Why would I lie about dinner?
The Man from Toronto: No, about having a wife. I saw your YouTube video. Nobody who teaches non-contact boxing could possibly hold down a marriage.
The Man from Toronto: Your life depends on this.
Teddy: News flash! I’m more afraid of Lori than I am of you!
The Man from Toronto: Would she torture you?
Teddy: With the silent treatment, yeah.
The Man from Toronto: [as he punches Teddy on the nose] Do me a favor. Give me a little silent treatment for the rest of the journey.
Teddy: What you just did was mean.
'I still can't believe you stored a human thumb in a Cheese Puffs bag.' - The Man from Miami 'The Cheese Puffs bag is what's throwing you off?' - Teddy (The Man From Toronto) Click To Tweet
The Man from Toronto: It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
Teddy: What does that mean? What does that mean outside of being untrue? Dogs don’t eat other dogs. So it can’t be a dog-eat-dog world. Naturally, a dog will sniff another dog’s butt. He may lick some poop occasionally. But he won’t eat another dog. Dogs don’t eat other dogs.
The Man from Toronto: Well, you’re talking about domesticated, well-fed pets. I’m talking about a hungry dog. I mean, a dog that ain’t afraid anymore. Mad dog.
Teddy: Take a second and tell me the things I need to understand. What is my part in the mission?
The Man from Toronto: Two parts, actually.
Teddy: Thank you.
The Man from Toronto: First part is, shut up. Or I’ll kill you. Second part is, don’t forget the first part.