Starring: Boyd Holbrook, Jacob Tremblay, Olivia Munn, Trevante Rhodes, Keegan-Michael Key, Sterling K. Brown, Yvonne Strahovski, Alfie Allen, Thomas Jane, Augusto Aguilera, Jake Busey
OUR RATING: ★★½
Story:
Sci-fi action horror sequel directed and co-written by Shane Black. The universe’s most lethal hunters are stronger, smarter and deadlier than ever before, having genetically upgraded themselves with DNA from other species. When a young boy, Rory McKenna (Jacob Tremblay), the son of a former Marine and Special Forces commando, Quinn McKenna (Boyd Holbrook), accidentally triggers their return to Earth, only a crew of ex-soldiers, led by Quinn, and a disgruntled scientist, Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn), can prevent the end of the human race.
REVIEWS
Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 35)
[first lines]
Haines: [on radio] Picket One, copy. Do you got eyes on the hostages?
Quinn McKenna: Still negative.
Dupree: [on radio] Twenty bucks says they don’t show.
Quinn McKenna: Are you two morons really making bets on whether a drug cartel has executed these hostages?
Dupree: [on radio] Abso-fucking-lutely.
Haines: [on radio] I believe that was implied. Yeah.
Quinn McKenna: Just checking. I’m in for twenty.
[referring to the piece of Predator armor]
Dupree: What the fuck is that, Cap?
Quinn McKenna: It’s above our pay grade.
[referring to the Predators]
Traeger: Gentlemen, remember. They’re large, they’re fast, and fucking you up is their idea of tourism!
[being interrogated]
Quinn McKenna: What’s with, um, the polygraph? I thought this was a psych eval.
VA Psych: We need to know if you pose a threat.
Quinn McKenna: Well, I’m a sniper. Isn’t posing a threat kind of the fucking point?
VA Psych: You spend most of your time now in country estranged from your wife and son.
Quinn McKenna: Look, I get it. Something went down in Mexico and nobody wants any witnesses.
VA Psych: Excuse me?
Quinn McKenna: You’re not here to find out if I’m crazy. You want to make sure the label sticks.
VA Psych: So you feel you’re being railroaded?
Quinn McKenna: I can see the tracks on the floor.
[leans into the microphone]
Quinn McKenna: I don’t see tracks on the floor, for the record.
VA Psych: You feel like you’re a stranger on your own planet, don’t you, Captain?
Quinn McKenna: Like an alien, you mean? That’s what you wanted.
[he looks at the two-way mirror, where Traeger and Sapir are in the next room watching]
Quinn McKenna: Do I get a cookie now?
Traeger: He saw something.
Sapir: Oh, yeah.
Traeger: Yeah.
[to the MP as he’s being escorted to the bus]
Quinn McKenna: You shove me again, I’m going to break your neck. Did I say that out loud?
Quinn McKenna: McKenna.
[they shake hands]
Nebraska Williams: Nebraska Williams.
Quinn McKenna: That’s your real name?
Nebraska Williams: Gaylord.
Quinn McKenna: That’s a good call, then.
Nebraska Williams: Yeah, I thought so.
Casey Bracket: Why do you call it the Predator?
Traeger: It’s a nickname. You know, the data suggests that it tracks its prey. Exploits weakness. Seems to, well enjoy it. Like a game.
Casey Bracket: That’s not a predator, that’s a sports hunter.
Traeger: Sorry?
Casey Bracket: A predator kills its prey to survive. I mean, what you’re describing is more like a bass fisherman.
Traeger: Well, we took a vote. Predator’s cooler, right?
[the others in the lab agree]
Traeger: Fuck yeah.
Coyle: How do you circumcise a homeless man?
Baxley: Here it comes.
Coyle: Kick your mom on the chin.
[referring to Quinn]
Nebraska Williams: I just want to know who this motherfucker is. Why are you here? Come on, man, this is the loony bus. Look at this motherfucker.
Lynch: Loonies!
Coyle: Loonies, yeah.
Quinn McKenna: Uh, I had a run-in with a space alien.
Coyle: Oh, shit.
[they all laugh]
Nebraska Williams: No, let him…
Coyle: Okay, that guy wins. That’s the best story I’ve ever heard. Classic story…
Lynch: That’s the winner right there. Fucking hell.
Quinn McKenna: Would you shut the fuck up?!
Coyle: Oh.
Quinn McKenna: They want to put a lid on it, so here I am. Stuck in Group Two. The sequel to Group One, only stupider.
[as they watch Predator escape from the government base]
Baxley: Alien.
Nebraska Williams: Your green boy?
Quinn McKenna: Yep.
Nebraska Williams: Goddamn space aliens.
[after they see the Predator escape from the government base]
Quinn McKenna: That’s the thing that killed my men.
Nebraska Williams: Yeah, they’ll do that.
Quinn McKenna: We got to get off this thing. We got to move.
Nebraska Williams: Brother, it’s a bus. It moves.
Coyle: Hey, Baxley! If your mom’s vagina were a video game, it’d be rated E for Everyone.
[referring to the motorcycle choppers]
Nebraska Williams: Get to the choppers!
Quinn McKenna: It’s the end of times, huh?
Nebraska Williams: Worst thing about the end times, they never fucking are.
Quinn McKenna: So, um, did he live?
Nebraska Williams: Say again?
Quinn McKenna: The CO, the asshole you shot, did he live?
Nebraska Williams: Yeah. He did.
Quinn McKenna: Yeah, and where is he at now?
[Nebraska doesn’t reply]
Quinn McKenna: You’re shitting me.
Nebraska Williams: I missed.
Quinn McKenna: Why did you do that?
Nebraska Williams: Miss?
Quinn McKenna: No, shoot yourself.
Nebraska Williams: Doctors asked me the same thing. I walked to the hospital with a bullet in my skull. Good times.
Quinn McKenna: Hey, should I be worried?
[he smiles and stubs out his cigarette on his tongue]
Nebraska Williams: Probably.
Casey Bracket: So, what’s the upside to me staying here with you guys?
Quinn McKenna: Uh, maybe staying alive? We are soldiers. We’re the good guys, okay?
Casey Bracket: Well, that’s debatable.
Casey Bracket: I read your file. The, uh, the guys in Mexico it killed, they yours? They’re going to need a patsy for that.
Quinn McKenna: You’re looking at him.
Casey Bracket: Yeah, I figured. Ex-sniper with PTSD, that’s actually kind of perfect.
Quinn McKenna: Guys, if we want to keep breathing, we need to find this thing. Expose it.
Casey Bracket: It’s called the Predator. It hunts people for sport.
Nebraska Williams: Technically, that’s not a predator. That’s like…
Casey Bracket: Thank you.
Coyle: It’s a hunter.
Casey Bracket: I said the same thing.
Baxley: Alright, when all this is over…
[as he enters the RV, Quinn points his gun at him]
Baxley: Fuck me in the face with an aardvark. I just want to be famous.
[the larger predator communicates with the other smaller predator]
Large Predator: [subtitled] Tell me where it is?
[Quinn and the rest of the group watch in horror as the larger predator attacks the smaller one]
[referring to the larger Predator killing the smaller one]
Coyle: What’s the big one? What’s the big one, Doc? Is that like the male?
Baxley: He didn’t even give a shit about us. Just wanted to kill that thing.
Casey Bracket: [to Quinn] You saw that, right?
[turns to the others in the van]
Casey Bracket: Guys! Did you see that? He, I mean he grew an exoskeleton under his fucking skin.
[looks back at the larger Predator as they drive away]
Casey Bracket: What, are they hunting each other now?
[referring to Rory]
Traeger: So, we find the kid, we find the ship. What the fuck we still standing here for?
Sapir: You don’t want to know what that one is?
Traeger: I know what it is. Our big boy’s a hunter. He brought his dogs with him.
Rory McKenna: Sorry I never grew up, you know, the way you wanted.
Quinn McKenna: Tell you a secret.
[he motions for Rory to lean in closer]
Quinn McKenna: Truth is, kid, I never grew up the way I wanted.
Casey Bracket: So, remember how I told you how they take people’s spines, right?
Quinn McKenna: Yeah, for trophies.
Casey Bracket: Yes! Yes! From the strongest, smartest, the most dangerous species on every planet they visit.
Quinn McKenna: Collecting survival traits from the most high-end specimens.
Casey Bracket: I think they’re attempting hybridization.
Quinn McKenna: You’re just pulling this out of your ass.
Casey Bracket: Did you not see the new Predator? It’s evolving.
Quinn McKenna: Or being upgraded.
[referring to Rory]
Quinn McKenna: That little boy, managed to figure out alien technology.
Casey Bracket: You know, a lot of experts say that, being on the spectrum isn’t really a disorder. It’s actually the next step in the evolutionary chain.
Quinn McKenna: Casey! Can I interest you in getting the fuck out of here?
Casey Bracket: Getting the fuck out of here is my middle name.
[to Nebraska]
Quinn McKenna: And I thought Gaylord was bad.
Quinn McKenna: Hey! So let me unpack this. So you’re saying my son’s headed towards a spaceship, and so is a ten foot alien.
Nebraska Williams: Uh, eleven, actually. Used to be a contractor.
Quinn McKenna: This thing is a hybrid? What does that mean?
Casey Bracket: Meaning it’s the Chinese menu of DNA. Comprised of the deadliest species in the entire…
Nebraska Williams: In the entire universe, yeah?
Casey Bracket: Galaxy.
Nebraska Williams: What?
Casey Bracket: Galaxy. Two hundred and fifty billion stars. Why go universe? Just saying.
Baxley: Figured something out. I think we’re going to die. We’re going to go hunt and fight the what, the army?
Coyle: We’re not going to fight the army…
Baxley: And some fucking people from space!
Traeger: What do you say, buddy? You think you can get us in there? Because I’m not sure that you can.
Rory McKenna: Nice reverse psychology. I can do that too. Don’t go fuck yourself.
Traeger: [laughs] That’s good. Come on.
Rory McKenna: That’s my dad. He’s going to come save me now.
Traeger: Oh, is he? Is that what he’s going to do? I’ll tell you what, buddy, if it is your daddy, and I truly hope that it is, he’s got to be just about the dumbest motherfucker I’ve ever met.
[he starts laughing]
Traeger: I mean, a ranger sniper tripping wire sensors? He’s got to be…
[suddenly realizes and Sapir]
Traeger: …creating a diversion. It’s a fucking diversion.
[referring to the Predator]
Casey Bracket: McKenna, I don’t like this! What’s he doing in there?
Traeger: It’s using the translator.
Casey Bracket: Hello. I have enjoyed watching you kill each other. I came here to destroy this vessel. You cannot have it. What you can do is run. I detect one among you who is a true warrior. The one called McKenna. He will be your leader. He will be my prize. I offer time advantage. Go.
Casey Bracket: What the fuck is time advantage? Like a head start?
[referring to the Predator shoulder cannon]
Traeger: Hey. On Halloween, this blew up a whole house. How do you shoot it?
Rory McKenna: You don’t. It just fires by itself when it’s being attacked.
Traeger: Seriously? Oh, shit.
[after the Predator takes Rory]
Quinn McKenna: No! No! He said he wanted me. He said he wanted me!
Casey Bracket: No. He said he wanted McKenna. The next step in the evolutionary chain. Not you. Your son.
[after defeating the Predator]
Quinn McKenna: What are you?
Predator: What are you?
Quinn McKenna: Shut the fuck up.
[last lines; referrering to the Predator nanotech armor suit]
Dr. Yamada: What the hell is that?
Quinn McKenna: That’s my new suit, bubba. I hope they got it in a forty-two long.
Total Quotes: 35
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Trailers:
This “movie” is a flaming turd, the likes of which has rarely been foisted on an unsuspecting public. There can be no mistake. This unmitigated disaster lacks even the tiniest hint of creativity, quality, originality or skill.
The writing is cliche, jumbled, sophomoric and strangely reminiscent of the most unsophisticated episodes of the A-Team. The attempted humor is sadly predictable and surprisingly vulgar. The acting can best be described as almost as bad as the, so-called, plot. The directing would invariably leave a retarded monkey scratching its own eyes out and screaming for an immediate and full refund.
Everyone associated with this “film” should probably consider stock car racing, taxidermy or perhaps a fulfilling career in some form of ancient and mysterious alchemy.
Hollywood is so afraid of launching anything original, that it insists upon remaking virtually any modestly successful creative endeavor. Grinding out uninspired remakes and ill imagined sequels can never elevate the craft or increase positive results. It is Hollywood’s fear of failure and the public’s inscrutable willingness to fork over twenty dollars for an occasional, two-hour, visual robbery that keep purveyors of flaming turds (like this one) in business.
Rating: 1/5