The School for Good and Evil (2022) Best Movie Quotes

Dot: You can bunk next to me, Sophie. That’s a funny name for a villain.
Hester: Oh, please. She’s so not a villain.
Sophie: Of course I’m not. Look at me. Do I look like a witch? Or a troll? Or some disgusting old hag?
Hester: That hag is my mother.

Lady Lesso: Evil hasn’t won anything in over two hundred years.
Professor Dovey: Well, you’ve come close a couple of times.
Lady Lesso: Close doesn’t cut it!

Sophie: I’m Good.
Anadil: Yeah, at disguising your Evil.

Sophie: [to Hester] You want proof that I’m Good? Then get a mirror, and look in it. You hag!
Dot: Told you. Definitely Evil.

Storian: Sophie discovered that books lined the walls, filled with stories from every corner of the world.
Agatha: You know we hear you narrating, you weirdo. If you’re trying to scare us, it’s not working.

School Master: Our graduates live the very real events that change the world, which become the stories that change the world.
Agatha: You’re trying to tell me that Snow White, and Cinderella, and Jack and the Beanstalk were real?
School Master: As were Hercules, and Sinbad, and El Cid, and all the others who have battled the forces of Evil.

Sophie: I’m supposed to be in Good. You made a mistake. Sir.
School Master: Well, perhaps I have. But I’ll need you to prove it.
Agatha: Why, if it’s your mistake?

School Master: What is the one thing that Evil can never have that Good can never do without?
Sophie: Oh, I know. Manners. A castle. Amazing hair. A horse.
Agatha: True love.
Storian: Which is traditionally manifested in a kiss.

Agatha: So you’re saying, I can’t believe I’m actually saying this. If Sophie were to kiss her true love, that would prove to Quilly over there that you were wrong about us?
School Master: If one from School of Evil won true love’s kiss, it would change everything.

School Master: Well, I guess somebody better go find herself a prince to kiss.
Storian: But remember, dear Reader, no kiss comes without its price.
Agatha: Wait, what does that mean?

Millicent: Three fails, and you’re expelled.
Agatha: Wait, you mean they kick you out?
Kiko: No. They actually turn you into something else.
Millicent: Like a talking tea kettle, or a mouse, or something much worse.
Agatha: Wait. Like forever? What?

Professor Manley: Uglify! Why do we need to be ugly? Hort! Wake up!
Hort: Oh, because it makes little children cry.
Professor Manley: Wrong. That’s merely a bonus.

Professor Manley: Why be revolting and repugnant?
Sophie: My question exactly.
Professor Manley: Not caring how you look forces you to use your intelligence. Ugliness is freedom!

Professor Anemone: I am here to show you how to become a truly powerful woman through beauty. A lady’s smile is a sword in the battle for life and for true love. So, pick up your mirrors, and strike!

Gregor: I’m Gregor. Gregor Charming. The prince’s son. I’ll try not to be too charming.

Gregor: I’m not cut out to be a prince. It’s not who I am. Do you know what I’d rather do? Run my own grocery store.
Agatha: Wait. Really?

Gregor: I saw the blood, and I passed out in my heavy armor. I was on top of a hill, and so I started rolling down, knocking over everyone in my path. Definitely grocery-store material, right?
Agatha: I think you should do whatever makes you happiest, Gregor.

Sophie: I already found my true love. Tedros. We had a connection from the moment we saw each other. Plus, we just make sense, aesthetically.

Agatha: Do they usually all smile and bat their eyes at you?
Tedros: Yes, they do. Which is incredibly boring. So thank you for not being boring.

Agatha: [to Tedors] I think when you become king, they’re probably going to have to find a bigger crown to fit on that swelled head of yours.

Agatha: My name is Agatha, by the way.
Tedros: Agatha. Much better. Because you’re definitely not normal. In a good way.

Yuba: A field of pretty pansies, but as we know from our fairy tales, pretty can sometimes kill you.

Yuba: Remember, only the best Evil can disguise as Good.

Lady Lesso: Every villain has a special talent they can hone into a powerful weapon to defeat their nemesis.
Hort: What’s a nemesis?
Lady Lesso: Your archenemy. Your story will not end until one of you is destroyed.

Lady Lesso: [to Hort] Next time I need a skinny, one-haired werewolf, I’ll make sure to call you.

Lady Lesso: Sophie, you’re not allowed to kill anyone until after graduation.

Lady Lesso: What you just did in that classroom is proof to me that you are exactly where you belong! It’s not what we are. It’s what we do, Sophie.

Professor Dovey: I present to you wish fish, shimmering underwater friends, who understand us and our deepest desires.
Agatha: Is that because they used to be students here?
Professor Dovey: Enough. Not everyone earns their own story. At least they can still be part of someone else’s happy ending.

Agatha: What did you do? That was my friend!
Tedros: It was about to kill you! I’ve just saved your life!
Agatha: You pompous a**, you killed him!

Agatha: That’s what you call Good? Destroying someone kind because they can’t live up to your impossible expectations? What exactly is good about that?
Professor Dovey: Agatha, everyone has a role to play here. In time, you will understand.
Agatha: No, I won’t.

Professor Dovey: [to Agatha] Once upon a time, Good was real and true. Now we are in the age of self-centered perfectionism, but you used your wish to save that poor girl. Do you remember when I told you that magic follows emotion? The most powerful emotion is empathy. The passion you’ve shown tells me that you, young lady, are exactly where you belong. You are the first real princess this school has seen in a long, long time.

Lady Lesso: [to Sophie] The time has come for you to admit which side you’re on.

Agatha: Hey, meat head. Stop!
Tedros: Oh, God. What did I do now?
Agatha: Apparently, you stood there while one of the giant dogs dragged Sophie away screaming.
Tedros: Hey, I rescue princesses and defeat Evil. I don’t save it. Okay?

Agatha: [to Tedros] Try thinking for yourself for a change, and you might see past the black and white this school wants you to see. You might be surprised by what you figure out.

Rafal: And you are special, Sophie. But they all refuse to see it. You’ve been honest, kind, patient, and did they admit you were Good? No. I’m the only one you can trust. Forget about their rules. Do what you want, when you want. And if they won’t give you what’s yours, take it.

Tedros: Hey, you should know some people are saying you’re a witch.
Agatha: Yeah, I’ve heard that before.
Tedros: Well, for the record, I don’t think you are.
Agatha: Yeah? Then what am I, hm?
Tedros: I wish I knew. Because you’re sure not like anybody I’ve ever met before.

Sophie: [as she enters dramatically] I hope I’m not late.
Lady Lesso: [referring to her outfit] What is this all about?
Sophie: This? Turns out you did me a favor. I was long overdue for a makeover. Now, if you wouldn’t mind activating my powers, I’d be most grateful. Thank you.

Sophie: I have it under control.
Agatha: I don’t think you do.
Sophie: So I’m supposed to take romantic advice from a girl who used to make phlegm sculptures?

Agatha: Why are you acting like this?
Sophie: Because I’m tired of being pathetic little Sophie.
Agatha: The girl who defended me with a frying pan wasn’t pathetic.
Sophie: Well, I like the new me.

Sophie: First, you steal my school, and now you’re trying to steal my prince.
Agatha: How can you say that? Sophie, I’m your best friend.
Sophie: A princess can’t be friends with a witch.

Professor Dovey: I thought that you believed that Sophie was truly Good.
Agatha: I don’t. I don’t believe that anyone is truly Good or truly Evil. Because people are complicated, even if everybody in this place pretends they aren’t.

Agatha: Dear Sophie, I’m so sorry for what happened in the forest. I never meant to hurt you. But whatever’s going on, it’s more than you getting a kiss from a prince. I saw Rafal in the woods. I think what’s happening here is bigger than anyone realizes. It’s true Evil, and we have to stick together. Only trust each other. We’re best friends. You must know, no matter what, I’m on your side. All my love, Aggie.

Professor Dovey: You knew Rafal was here, in the school, and you told no one?
Lady Lesso: Ah, must have slipped my mind.
Professor Dovey: I see! The soul of wickedness itself just slipped your mind, Lesso?
Lady Lesso: I’m the Dean of the School for Evil. Does that suggest anything to you?

Lady Lesso: Thank you so much, beauty teacher.
Professor Anemone: Hey, I was the head of the Magical History Department long before you got here, Red.
Agatha: You were?
Professor Anemone: Yes! Before this place became insufferably shallow and I was demoted to beautification. Do I look like I give a s**t about smiling?

Agatha: [referring to Sophie] She’s the only one who has stood up for me from the time we were kids. She’s like my sister, and I’m not someone who gives up on family. Not ever.
Tedros: No. You’re right. No one should ever give up on family.

Tedros: Agatha, you saved me from that reaper, and you made me want to see the world in more than just black and white. And no one has ever done anything like that for me before. And it made me realize you are my true love.
Agatha: Oh, my God. You’ve got the worst timing.
Tedros: No, really. I’ve thought it through. And I love you, Agatha.

Agatha: Sophie, stop. Whatever’s happened, I can help you. I’m your friend.
Sophie: No, Agatha. You’re my nemesis. Which means our story can’t end until one of us is destroyed.

Sophie: Well, now. If Evil attacks and Good defends, then it would appear that Good has become Evil. And Evil has become Good. Oh, so Good.

Agatha: Please, Sophie. You have to stop this!
Sophie: It’s too late. They attacked. Now we defend!

Sophie: This is my happy ending.
Agatha: So this is how you change the world? This is what you’ve always wanted? To simply have it all at your feet?
Sophie: Yep. The only mistake I made was thinking I needed to switch schools. It was just the schools that needed to switch.
Agatha: The mistake you made was thinking you needed any of this. Look what it’s done to you! Look at what it has done to us.

Rafal: Good became vain. Foolish. Weak. But you, Sophie? You put me to shame. You brought the whole school to its knees in weeks. Beyond Good and Evil, you are chaos itself. And together, we are unstoppable.

Agatha: Tedros, you told me you were ready to see the world in more than just black and white. This is your chance. Please, I just need you to trust me. Come with me to save Sophie. That is how we’ll save the school. Evers and Nevers.

Storian: And so it was that Evil had finally won true love’s kiss, condemning both schools and all those within their walls, Good and Evil alike, to perish in agony, allowing Rafal’s Evil, true Evil, to overtake the world.

Rafal: Welcome to Never After, my love.
Sophie: No! I didn’t want to hurt them. I thought you said we’d just rule them!
Rafal: And we will rule Never After, where every one of those students, every professor, anyone who could challenge us, is dead. Including your nemesis.

Agatha: This isn’t love. Do you know why Good always wins? Because we fight for each other, and we care for each other. That is what Good’s love is. Evil only fights for itself. And that is the furthest thing from love on Earth.

Agatha: [referring to Sophie] You will never have her, you monster. Not as long as I’m alive.
Rafal: Oh. Well, as you wish.
Sophie: [jumps in front of Aggie and gets stabbed with the Storian] No! Not Aggie!

Rafal: [to Tedros, referring to Excalibur] Did you really think it would be that easy? In my school? In your father’s hands, that sword might once have vanquished me. But in the hands of his ridiculous whelp of a son, it is merely an oversized butter knife.

Rafal: You think this tale is about your true love. No, it’s about mine. And the power Evil’s kiss gave me to kill Good’s future king.
Agatha: Or the tale of the girls who stopped you.

Sophie: [after they kill Rafal] I don’t want to be Evil.
Agatha: No, you are not Evil. You’re just human.
Sophie: As long as I have you.
Agatha: We will always have each other.

Sophie: [as she takes her last breath] I love you, Aggie. You’ll always be my best friend.

Storian: [after Agatha wakes Sophie with her true love’s kiss] And so it was that our heroes defeated the greatest threat the School for Good and Evil had ever known. The world of fairy tales had not perished, but it had been changed forever.

Lady Lesso: Good and Evil together? One school? Now what?
Professor Dovey: Unity, perhaps. Maybe friendship, even.
Lady Lesso: [they freeze as they’re about to hug] Well, no rush. No rush.
Professor Dovey: No. Slow and steady wins the race.

Storian: As for our two heroes, there was finally a way back to Gavaldon, as Agatha’s kiss had set them free. For what is truer than the love between friends?

Agatha: [after she kisses Tedros] I can’t leave my friend. Thank you, Tedros, for wanting to change. I hope we’ll see each other again someday.

Storian: Both girls were met with open arms, and open minds. They never felt so special. Although some things never change. That is, unless you use your power to begin to change them. And that, you could say, is the end of our story. However, as Tedros’s arrow pierced the vortex between their worlds, it became clear that this was only the beginning.