The Time Traveler’s Wife Best Quotes (TV Series)

Henry DeTamble: When did we first meet? First meet? Define “first”.

Clare Abshire: I married a time traveler. It’s complicated.

Clare Abshire: If you’re not a time traveler, the past is what you’re stuck with. If you’re an artist, or think you might be, the future is what you’re going to make. Sometimes, you can see the future in a bowl of slop. Other times, you remember that the future is just what shows up when you’re looking for something else.

Henry DeTamble: People think libraries are quiet places. To me a library is a crowd. If you’re a time traveler, the past is alive. It’s still happening, still dangerous. All those books on all those shelves are like the bars on a cage, and the beast inside is pacing. For everybody else, the past is over. For me, well, I’m still trying to survive it.

Matt: Henry. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why do you leave piles of clothes all over the place?
Henry DeTamble: Doesn’t everyone?
Matt: No.
Henry DeTamble: It’s complicated.
Matt: Okay. I’m listening.
Henry DeTamble: It’s a long story.
Matt: Time isn’t a problem for me.
Henry DeTamble: Lucky you.

Clare Abshire: I wasn’t expecting to meet you today. I mean, definitely not in a library. You’re a librarian?
Henry DeTamble: Well, yeah.
Clare Abshire: A librarian.

Henry DeTamble: So, we’ve met then?
Clare Abshire: Yes. Well, no. I’ve met you. I saw that birthmark fourteen years ago. I’ve known you for fourteen years, and now you’re standing there looking like you’ve never seen me before.
Henry DeTamble: I haven’t.
Clare Abshire: I know.

Clare Abshire: You’re so young. You’re younger than I’ve ever seen you.
Henry DeTamble: Okay, do you understand why I don’t recognize you?
Clare Abshire: Yes.
Henry DeTamble: So, you know about my, you know.
Clare Abshire: Problem? Yes.
Henry DeTamble: Who told you?
Clare Abshire: You told me.

Henry DeTamble: Okay, we can’t talk here. We should get a coffee.
Clare Abshire: Or a drink.
Henry DeTamble: Okay, a drink.
Clare Abshire: Dinner!
Henry DeTamble: That escalated quickly.
Clare Abshire: Fourteen years.

Clare Abshire: So, has this never happened to you before? Like meeting someone in the wrong order?
Henry DeTamble: No.
Clare Abshire: Didn’t he warn you about this kind of thing?
Henry DeTamble: Didn’t who warn me?
Clare Abshire: The guy who trained you.

Henry DeTamble: In the future, in my future, I’m going to start showing up in your past.
Clare Abshire: Yes.
Henry DeTamble: For fourteen years.
Clare Abshire: One hundred and fifty-two times.
Henry DeTamble: How old was I back then?
Clare Abshire: I mean, oldest I’ve seen you is like forty something. And youngest, maybe about thirty. How old are you now?
Henry DeTamble: I’m twenty-eight.
Clare Abshire: You look so different. It’s like you’ve been all, tightened, you know. Renovated.

Henry DeTamble: Why you? Why would I go see you so many times?
Clare Abshire: We’re going to have to come back to that one.
Henry DeTamble: But there is a reason?
Clare Abshire: There’s a reason. Yeah.

Henry DeTamble: Any hobbies? Any favorite books? Any unusual sexual proclivities I should be aware of?
Clare Abshire: One.
Henry DeTamble: What’s that?
Clare Abshire: I’m going to marry you. I was going to build up to that. But there it is. I’m your future wife.

Henry DeTamble: You’re my wife?
Clare Abshire: Your future wife. Yes.
Henry DeTamble: I met you four hours ago, we haven’t even ordered yet.
Clare Abshire: I know. I know. I do. I mean, I get it. I get it. It’s like fourteen years for me. Just earlier today for you, it’s a lot.

Clare Abshire: Please, don’t do that.
Henry DeTamble: Do what?
Clare Abshire: Swallow, when I say the word “couple”.
Henry DeTamble: Did I just swallow?
Clare Abshire: Yeah, audibly. The next table looked over.

Young Clare Abshire: [after she meets Henry for the first time] Nell, you know what an imaginary friend is.
Nell: Sure.
Young Clare Abshire: I found one in the woods, and I’m going to dress him up, because he’s naked.

Young Clare Abshire: You’re bleeding.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you threw a shoe at me.
Young Clare Abshire: I’m not saying sorry.
Henry DeTamble: Why should you?

Young Clare Abshire: What’s that mark?
Henry DeTamble: Oh, that? That’s just a birthmark. Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt.
Young Clare Abshire: It looks like you stood on a strawberry and squished it.
Henry DeTamble: Someone else said that. No.
Young Clare Abshire: What’s wrong?
Henry DeTamble: Well, it wasn’t someone else.

Young Clare Abshire: Have you seen dinosaurs?
Henry DeTamble: I tickled a dinosaur’s tummy once. Twice actually, but it was in the Natural History Museum.
Young Clare Abshire: Real ones.
Henry DeTamble: Well, I travel in time, but not that far back. I tend to stay in the same time since I was born.
Young Clare Abshire: Is that not dinosaurs?
Henry DeTamble: No, Clare. That is not dinosaurs.

Young Clare Abshire: [referring to his wife] What’s her name?
Henry DeTamble: Well, funnily enough, her name’s Clare.
Young Clare Abshire: Like me.
Henry DeTamble: Yeah. Like you.
Young Clare Abshire: Was it love at first sight?
Henry DeTamble: God, I hope not.

Young Henry DeTamble: How do I get back home?
Henry DeTamble: It’ll just happen. Sometimes you don’t go straight back. You go to another time first. Once I went to three different times in a row, but mostly you ping straight back home.
Young Henry DeTamble: Can I go to the future too?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah. Sometimes. Not so often, but it happens.

Young Henry DeTamble: What do we do?
Henry DeTamble: What do you mean, “What do we do?”
Young Henry DeTamble: We’re time travelers. Do we solve crimes?
Henry DeTamble: No, Henry. Sorry. We don’t solve crimes, we commit them. We run, we steal, we fight. Wherever we show up in time, we’re naked, and we’re sick. We don’t get a choice.
Young Henry DeTamble: Are we the bad guys?
Henry DeTamble: Survivors are always the bad guys. That’s why it’s my job, to teach you how to be the baddest guy out there.

Young Henry DeTamble: So, I’m going to see you again?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah, lots of times.
Young Henry DeTamble: Do you promise?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah, I promise. In fact, when I was your age, exactly your age, there was a guy who came back in time and he trained me. So now, it’s my turn to train you.
Young Henry DeTamble: So, there’s lots of us?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah. There’s lots of us time travelers.

Henry DeTamble: How does that all sound, Henry? Me training you.
Young Henry DeTamble: Scary.
Henry DeTamble: Well, the world’s a scary place. So, you know what you got to be? You got to be scarier.

Henry DeTamble: [after he knocks out her date] What’s going to happen now is I’m going to take your boyfriend’s clothes and just go. If you like, you can put him in the recovery position and call the cops. Give them my description by all means, but I’m naked, you’ll find details surprisingly difficult to remember. Did he give you those flowers?
Donna: Yeah.
Henry DeTamble: Oh, that’s nice. He doesn’t seem like the type. Seeing as he’s kind of an a**hole, and this is a s**tty date anyway. Mind if I take them? I’m late for someone.

Clare Abshire: You know it’s funny, I’ve known you almost all my life, and you’re not what I was expecting.
Henry DeTamble: Am I a disappointment?
Clare Abshire: No. No. Oh, you’re just, well, you’re different.
Henry DeTamble: Well, different good or bad?
Clare Abshire: Just different.

Henry DeTamble: [as she starts to take off his clothes] Always been me who makes that move.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, it never will be again.

Henry DeTamble: If it’s something I’m not supposed to know yet, it’s probably best I don’t.
Clare Abshire: That’s what you said the last time.
Henry DeTamble: Good old me.

Clare Abshire: Why aren’t you permanently terrified?
Henry DeTamble: There’s always going to be days that you bleed, right? That’s true for everyone, not just me. All you can do is be happy it’s not today.
Clare Abshire: Henry.
Henry DeTamble: Yeah.
Clare Abshire: It’s not today.

Henry DeTamble: [as they’re kissing] Do you always get what you want?
Clare Abshire: Oh, always. I mean, I am horrible. It’s okay, you’re horrible too.
Henry DeTamble: I’m horrible?
Clare Abshire: Yeah.

Henry DeTamble: I’ve never seen you before in my life, and now you’re telling me you’re my wife. Doesn’t that sound a tiny bit scary mad to you?
Clare Abshire: Well, if I’m a scary mad person, why did you have sex with me?
Henry DeTamble: Well, to be honest I’d never need that good a reason.

Clare Abshire: So, you’re happy to f*** crazy women?
Henry DeTamble: Well, it would seriously limit my options if I wasn’t, wouldn’t it!

Henry DeTamble: Well, I didn’t mean any of those things I said.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, you did.
Henry DeTamble: So, I ran all the way here to tell you that, but then being stupid, I just stood outside and watched you at the window for about ten minutes.
Clare Abshire: Ten minutes? I only just sat down.

Clare Abshire: I’ve missed you.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you just slept with me.
Clare Abshire: No. No, I didn’t.
Henry DeTamble: Hey, come on. You just got yourself a new young man. What kind of guy do you think I am?
Clare Abshire: As it turns out, an a**hole. Was that the big secret you were keeping from me all these years? You’re a secret a**hole?
Henry DeTamble: It’s kind of every man’s secret.

Clare Abshire: I grew up waiting for you. Longing for you.
Henry DeTamble: I know.
Clare Abshire: No, you don’t. I formed myself around you. The idea of you. And you’re an a**hole.
Henry DeTamble: Well here’s the thing. The man you formed yourself around, shock twist, formed himself around you.
Clare Abshire: That’s f***ed up.
Henry DeTamble: Yep. So f***ed up, it has a name. Marriage.

Henry DeTamble: Two people trying to be the person the other one already thinks they are. Love, basically.
Clare Abshire: You didn’t hear what he just said.
Henry DeTamble: Clare, I said what he just said. You want to know why I said it? Because time travel is awful. It is s**t scary. It is waiting for the next storm to hit. Wondering if this time it’s going to kill you. That boy out there, time travel has never done one nice thing for him. Until today. Today he gets the winning lottery ticket.

Henry DeTamble: You know what’s even worse, than being terrified all the time? The future. The future is the scariest thing in the world. Because suddenly, you are all in. No choice. Anyone can stand any kind of torture, except hope.
Clare Abshire: Why didn’t he just say all that?
Henry DeTamble: He did. It just took me a while.

Clare Abshire: That’s a s**t jacket.
Henry DeTamble: Well, muggers can’t be choosers.

Clare Abshire: Older me gets you. And I get younger you, who’s a d**k. It’s not fair.
Henry DeTamble: No, he’s not a d**k. And you know that.
Clare Abshire: He’s not you. Seriously, how does he get to be you? What happens to him? Does he get hit by a f***ing meteorite?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah, going by the name of Clare.
Clare Abshire: Is that a compliment?
Henry DeTamble: I just called you a meteorite. Take it any way you like.

Henry DeTamble: Look on the bright side. He is way hotter than me.
Clare Abshire: No, he’s not.
Henry DeTamble: [as he waves to his younger self] Sure, he is. It’s okay. I don’t mind. In fact, I agree with you. I’ve f***ed him too.

Henry DeTamble: A boring old man told me something a very long time ago. He said you have two things to do with your time on this Earth. One, find the love of your life. Two, die as slowly as possible. You did part one tonight. Part two starts now. Play time is over.
Henry DeTamble (28): Do you ever get bored of hearing yourself talk?
Henry DeTamble: I don’t know. You tell me. No more time to waste, junior. You’ve seen the blood, you know something’s coming.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah. But not today.

Clare Abshire: I’m sorry I threw my shoe at you.
Henry DeTamble: Well, it’s about time.

Clare Abshire: Long ago, men went to sea and women waited for them. Standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now, I wait for Henry.

Henry DeTamble: I hate to be where she is not. And yet I’m always going and she can’t follow.

Clare Abshire: Why does he always go where I cannot follow?

Henry DeTamble: Well, my dad plays the violin, and my mom was a singer.
Young Clare Abshire: Why did she stop?
Henry DeTamble: Who said she stopped?
Young Clare Abshire: You said “was”.
Henry DeTamble: Is. I meant is.

Henry DeTamble: You know what’s good about being sad?
Young Clare Abshire: Nothing.
Henry DeTamble: Happy people, are all the same, but sad people are all different. Now, if you want to have a good time with someone, sure, you make them happy. But if you want to know them, well, you find out why they’re sad.

Young Clare Abshire: Why are you sad? Is it because your mom stopped singing?
Henry DeTamble: I’ll explain one day, but not today.
Young Clare Abshire: When?
Henry DeTamble: When a green man gives you banana coffee on the shores of Lake Como.
Young Clare Abshire: Don’t be silly!
Henry DeTamble: Honest to God. Green man, banana coffee, Lake Como. That’s when I’ll tell you.
Young Clare Abshire: You’re just saying stupid things!
Henry DeTamble: I swear, I’m not!

Henry DeTamble: Second date. Lunch.
Clare Abshire: Why lunch?
Henry DeTamble: Because the first date, we got drunk and had sex. I’m hoping lunch will provide an interval of conversation before we get drunk and have sex again. It’s how relationships work, I looked it up.
Clare Abshire: Well, who says this is a relationship?
Henry DeTamble: Well, if the future says so, you don’t get a choice.

Clare Abshire: See, I’m not like you, okay? I don’t run on tracks. I don’t go where I’m told. Especially if you’re the destination, because here’s my problem. I have been waiting for you since I was six years-old, and it turns out, after all that time, after all that waiting, I don’t like you.
Henry DeTamble: Why not?
Clare Abshire: You’re seeing somebody else!

Henry DeTamble: Oh, you don’t like me, but you want me all to yourself?
Clare Abshire: No, I don’t want you at all.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you slept with me.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, and what a fairy tale that was!
Henry DeTamble: I didn’t hear any complaints.

Clare Abshire: I kissed a frog, and he stayed a frog.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you sure as hell stayed a princess.
Clare Abshire: What is that even supposed to mean?
Henry DeTamble: I don’t know, it just felt kind of clever in the moment.
Lady on the Train: I thought it was clever.
Henry DeTamble: Thanks!

Henry DeTamble: Why did you get off the train?
Clare Abshire: Because I decided to, because it was my choice, and to hell with what the future says. I mean, what is the matter with you? Why don’t you fight back?
Henry DeTamble: Because it’s impossible! Because look at where you are right now. Look at where you’re standing. This is our stop! I’m not following you, we were always going to get off here anyway. That’s how it works. Exactly like that. Whatever you decide to do is what you were always going to do anyway.
Clare Abshire: No.
Henry DeTamble: Yes! I have tried to change it, trust me. You can’t.

Clare Abshire: You see that cafe? I’m going to that cafe.
Henry DeTamble: What? Why?
Clare Abshire: Because, Henry, one way or another, I am getting off the train. Watch me! This is me changing the future!

Waiter: Banana latte?
Clare Abshire: [referring to the painted wall] I didn’t order a banana latt. Is that Lake Como?
Waiter: I believe so.
Clare Abshire: Never mind then.
Henry DeTamble: If it’s not a personal question, why are you green?
Waiter: I drank the coffee.
Henry DeTamble: Really?
Waiter: No. I was being hilarious. I’m a children’s entertainer.
Henry DeTamble: Right now?
Waiter: Four o’clock today. I’m in a state of readiness.

Clare Abshire: You didn’t order a banana latte.
Henry DeTamble: Doesn’t matter, it’s inevitable.

Clare Abshire: Why are you even still here? Just because time travel tells you so?
Henry DeTamble: Most of what time travel tells me is terrifying. I know that really bad stuff is coming, Clare. I know I’m going to be frightened, and bleeding, and I know that one day I’m not going to survive it. About the only thing that time travel ever taught me that wasn’t terrifying is that one day, somehow, in the future, I am going to be married to a phenomenal redhead.
Clare Abshire: Oof. So glad to be identified as a hair-type. How special I feel.
Henry DeTamble: Who, it must be said, currently hates me.

Clare Abshire: I don’t hate you. No, I do hate you. But, well, it’s the good kind of hate.
Henry DeTamble: Oh, yeah? What’s the good kind?
Clare Abshire: That kind where I want to have you right now on this table just to shut your stupid mouth.

Clare Abshire: I can’t help myself. My libido formed around you. I grew up fantasizing about you. You are literally a younger, hotter version of the man of my dreams. You’re the living personification of everything I want. Of everything you personally conditioned me to want. There is only one thing, exactly one small detail wrong with you.
Henry DeTamble: And what’s that?
Clare Abshire: You’re not somebody else.

Henry DeTamble: Well, who would you like me to be? Oh, him. The guy who hung around your childhood, and turned you into you. Well, I can’t be him, Clare. Because he’s the guy that you’re going to turn me into, which is frankly too f***ing complicated. So I think we should just go back to plan A.
Clare Abshire: What’s plan A?
Henry DeTamble: Get drunk and have sex.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to his mother, Annette] She’s dead.
Clare Abshire: It was a car accident. Her son. She was with her son. You. She was…
Henry DeTamble: I think the word you’re currently avoiding is decapitated. Oh, I see. I got tragedy now, so, suddenly you like me.

Henry DeTamble: Well, she died when I was eight, but I’m a time traveler.
Clare Abshire: So?
Henry DeTamble: So, I get to see her all the time.
Clare Abshire: You still see your mom?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah. There are plenty of s**tty things about time travel, but I get to see my dead mom.

Clare Abshire: About the time traveling, did your mom and dad know?
Henry DeTamble: Well, they knew there was something. I kept on disappearing from school, and leaving my clothes behind. My school reports were mainly about cutting classes and nudity. My dad found out what was really going on when I was sixteen.
Clare Abshire: How?
Henry DeTamble: Badly.

Clare Abshire: [to Henry] You went gay for yourself?

Clare Abshire: [referring to telling Annette about time traveling] Why didn’t you tell her?
Henry DeTamble: I don’t know. I mean, It’s complicated.
Clare Abshire: It’s never that complicated if you start at the beginning.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to seeing his parents meeting for the first time] Lust is someone knocking at the door to be born. I guess I heard my own knock.

Clare Abshire: So, it isn’t random? Where you go in time?
Henry DeTamble: It’s mostly random. At least I think it is. But the people who matter to me, I see them more often. I don’t know why.

Clare Abshire: Do you ever talk to the other ones? The other yous?
Henry DeTamble: Sure. We talk all the time.
Clare Abshire: So, it’s not just sex then?
Henry DeTamble: I was sixteen.
Clare Abshire: Isn’t that, I don’t know, isn’t that weird? The talking, not the sex part. I mean, the sex part is definitely weird.
Henry DeTamble: Well, I don’t know, you kind of get used to having yourself around.

Young Henry DeTamble: What’s your name?
Henry DeTamble: Why do you need to know?
Young Henry DeTamble: You never tell me your name. And we’re friends.
Henry DeTamble: We’re not friends. Who told you we’re friends? I’m training you.

Clare Abshire: You trained yourself?
Henry DeTamble: I led myself astray. There wasn’t anyone else. I’m the only time traveler.

Henry DeTamble: [to young Henry] Whenever you time travel, you’re going to be naked, penniless, and running! You need to steal.

Young Henry DeTamble: Are all the other time travelers like you?
Henry DeTamble: Like what?
Young Henry DeTamble: A**holes!
Henry DeTamble: Is there something about my face that attracts that word?
Young Henry DeTamble: Yes!
Henry DeTamble: Good. I was starting to worry it was my personality.

Young Henry DeTamble: Why aren’t you listening to me?
Henry DeTamble: Because I know everything you’re going to say, and none of it matters a s**t. But what I’m trying to tell you, you’ve never heard before, so you need to listen to all of it! That means all the listening, all the time, happens in this direction!
Young Henry DeTamble: Why are you angry with me?

Henry DeTamble: But here’s the thing, when you’re a time traveler, no one is continuously dead.
Young Henry DeTamble: What does that mean?
Henry DeTamble: It means, as far as you’re concerned, from now on, life and death are on auto-shuffle.
Henry DeTamble: You, Henry. You are auto-shuffle.

Henry DeTamble: You can’t change anything. And you can’t save anyone.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to when his younger self encounters Annette] As far as she was concerned, I was skipping school yet again, and she’d caught me in the act. She didn’t know she was dead, and I was trying to bring her back.

Henry DeTamble: [as they walk through the library] Sometimes, I wonder if I’m in here somewhere.
Clare Abshire: You’re in here every day.
Henry DeTamble: No, in the books. I wonder if I’m in any of the books. You know, some future version of myself gets stuck in the past. Someone writes about it. Puts me in a book. A piece of my future could be here somewhere, gathering dust on a shelf. Things I haven’t done yet. Words I haven’t spoken. Decisions I’m yet to make, already written, printed, and bound. If only I knew where to look.

Henry DeTamble: I can’t afford to let myself fixate on the past, or I wind up back there.
Clare Abshire: Well, you get to see your mom again. It’s not all bad.
Henry DeTamble: Depends what you see.

Clare Abshire: Tragedy usually brings people together.
Henry DeTamble: If that were even half-true, the whole world would be friends.

Clare Abshire: [as they listen to a recording of Anette singing] It must be a comfort, hearing her sing.
Henry DeTamble: No, it’s beautiful. Beauty’s not comfort.

Henry DeTamble: You see, sometimes, when I’m stressed, I time travel, and if I’m thinking about my mom, and it gets to me, sometimes I have to go and watch her die again.
Clare Abshire: Is that going to happen now?
Henry DeTamble: Maybe. I’m trying to hold on.
Clare Abshire: Okay, hold on.

Henry DeTamble: [to Clare] I’m not really an a**hole. It’s just the opposite of being an a**hole is caring, and caring opens a hole at my feet, and sometimes, I fall in. And if I make the mistake of loving someone, I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to lose them.

Annette DeTamble: [over tape] I’m going to try and answer Clare’s question tonight.
Clare Abshire: How is this possible?
Annette DeTamble: [over tape] And her question was this. How the hell does any couple ever get together?
Clare Abshire: How did she hear me?
Henry DeTamble: No, she didn’t hear you. But I can hear you. And I just decided that whenever I get to speak to my mom next, whenever that is, at the right moment, that I’ll pass your question on. And on the night this recording was made, she’ll answer it. So, the answer to the question that you only just thought of asking has been on this tape since before you were born.

Annette DeTamble: I don’t know why he asked me. I’m a singer. I just sing. But I have just been singing Madame Butterfly, which is all about doomed love, and I guess that got me thinking this. Isn’t all love doomed? I don’t mean to be a party pooper. You know, but it always ends, doesn’t it? So, Clare, if you’re listening, and you’re worried, my answer, and Puccini’s, is this. Couples don’t get together. What they do, is they get together for a while. It’s just a while, just a little time. That’s okay. Because it is better to be happy for a little while, just a brief time, even if you know you’re going to lose it, than to be just “okay” for your whole life. And for what it’s worth, my advice is this. It’s always later than you think, and this is the only time you ever get. So, good luck, Clare. And you know what? Just get the hell on with it!

Clare Abshire: At first, it seemed like there were lots of Henrys. There was the one with the dark hair. He was the funniest. There was older Henry with the graying hair. He was like a dad. Always made me do my homework. And there’s the sad one. The sad Henry. Of course, it didn’t matter because really they were all the same Henry, just shuffled.

Young Clare Abshire: Do you believe in God?
Henry DeTamble: Definitely not.
Young Clare Abshire: Why not?
Henry DeTamble: Don’t like his work.
Young Clare Abshire: That doesn’t make any sense.
Henry DeTamble: Neither does your French.

Henry DeTamble: You see, I’m a time traveler. I’m all mixed up too.

Clare Abshire: There’s not a game until you’ve shuffled the deck, but once you’ve shuffled, you can never know what’s coming next.

Philip Abshire: Clare what’s wrong, darling?
Clare Abshire (13): You shot someone. You shot a man!
Philip Abshire: Well, where is he?
Clare Abshire (13): Look at the blood!
Philip Abshire: What blood?
Clare Abshire (13): There was blood.

Clare Abshire (13): You could be out there somewhere, dying.
Henry DeTamble: Well, I’m not. I’m sitting here, talking to you.
Clare Abshire (13): Somewhere in time.
Henry DeTamble: Everybody’s dying somewhere in time.
Clare Abshire (13): You know what I mean.
Henry DeTamble: All futures end in a brick wall, Clare. That’s why you don’t want to know what’s coming. Because what’s coming is a brick wall.

Clare Abshire (13): I have a stupid idea sometimes.
Henry DeTamble: What kind of stupid?
Clare Abshire (13): About who you’re married to.
Henry DeTamble: Married stupid is extra stupid.
Clare Abshire (13): I think you’re married to me.

Clare Abshire: What does a decent man say? I didn’t pity him then, but I do now. His future wife, at thirteen years of age. The woman he has already bedded and wedded, now facing him as a child, demanding to know who she is to him? What does a decent man say? What does he tell the child who will become the woman he loves of their future together?

Clare Abshire: A decent man lies, of course. There are very few things in this world more harmful than the lies of decent men. Oh, at the time, of course, I didn’t think about that. I had an invisible friend, and I lived in a fairy tale. Grown-ups think of fairy tales as sweet little nothings, but they forget what all children know. Into every fairy tale a witch must come.

Henry DeTamble: Clare, I’m naked.
Clare Abshire (16): I’ve seen you naked lots of times.
Henry DeTamble: Yeah, but this is different.
Clare Abshire (16): Okay. How’s it different?
Henry DeTamble: Well, you’re older now. There are rules. Basically, you’re not allowed to see someone naked the moment you start enjoying it.

Clare Abshire (16): Why is there no point in telling me where younger you is living? I want to meet junior. Maybe we’ll hit it off. Got to be closer in age.
Henry DeTamble: You’re not allowed to meet me yet.
Clare Abshire (16): Says who?
Henry DeTamble: Says history.
Clare Abshire (16): Well, it’s not history for me yet.
Henry DeTamble: Well, it is for me, and you can’t change it!

Henry DeTamble: What the hell is the matter with you?
Clare Abshire (16): It’s about time you f***ing asked!

Henry DeTamble: Your life, whatever it is, is entirely built from the choices that you make. The future, fixed or not, is what you choose. You are what makes it fixed. You’re not running on tracks, everything is still your decision. I just set a new record. I mansplained the rest of your life.
Clare Abshire (16): What’s “mansplained”?
Henry DeTamble: Well, there’s every chance you’re going to find out, Clare.
Clare Abshire (16): When? What? In the future? When you know me, and all my family, and you’re married to a woman with my name?
Henry DeTamble: We’re not together in the future, Clare.
Clare Abshire (16): Fine!

Clare Abshire (16): There’s a boy. Named Jason. Jason Everleigh. At my school, a jock.
Henry DeTamble: Okay? What about Jason?
Clare Abshire (16): I need you to kill him.
Henry DeTamble: Why?

Henry DeTamble: [over phone] I just need you not to be alone tonight.
Henry DeTamble (24): You need what?
Henry DeTamble: I need you to have an alibi between eight and ten o’clock tonight.
Henry DeTamble (24): Why? Are you going to kill someone?
Henry DeTamble: Between eight and ten, you got that?
Henry DeTamble (24): You are going to kill someone.
Henry DeTamble: Hanging up now.
Henry DeTamble (24): F*** you.
Henry DeTamble: F*** you too.

Clare Abshire: How do you know it’s him? Actually him. It’s not hearts and flowers. It’s not music in the air. It’s when he’s ready to kill for you.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to Jason] What the hell did he do to you?
Clare Abshire (16): He’s an a**hole.
Henry DeTamble: Yeah, well, I used to be an a**hole myself.

Henry DeTamble: [to Jason] Jesus Christ, you’re splashing me! What kind of a person pees on someone at gunpoint? What the hell is wrong with you?

Henry DeTamble: [referring to Jason] He peed on me.
Clare Abshire (16): Okay.
Henry DeTamble: Worst murder ever.

Clare Abshire (16): We’re not going to kill him.
Henry DeTamble: Okay.
Clare Abshire (16): You’re going to hurt him, and I’m going to watch. But we’re not going to kill him. What are you laughing at?
Henry DeTamble: I mean, kill him? We just got him his inhaler. I’m starting to think we might need to throw pillow back there.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to Jason] Did he rape you?
Clare Abshire (16): No. No. He just hurt me.

Clare Abshire: Of course he raped me. Of course he did. I was in his car, there was no one to see. Why wouldn’t he rape me? I never told Henry the truth. If I had told him the truth, it would make it even more true, and I did not want it to be.

Clare Abshire: You don’t admit that a monster was the first man inside you when you’re talking to the man it should have been. Henry never knew the truth. So when I was with Henry, it stopped being true. I could make it not true when he was there. Of course, he’s been dead such a long time now.

Jason: Are you going to kill me?
Henry DeTamble: Kill you? You’re an asthmatic who smokes, who needs to kill you?

Jason: She loves it. It’s what she wants.
Henry DeTamble: It is not what she wants!
Jason: She likes it rough.
Henry DeTamble: No, she doesn’t, and she never has!
Jason: How the f*** would you know?
Henry DeTamble: Because I’m her f***ing husband!

Henry DeTamble: S**t, I think I’m going.
Clare Abshire (16): No, not now!
Henry DeTamble: [referring to the blue marker pen] I don’t know why, but I think you’re going to need this. I love you.

Clare Abshire: I didn’t want Jason to die of an asthma attack while tied up and half naked. Well, I did, in fact, but not on my watch. But equally, I didn’t want to be alone with him. So I called my friends. I called every girl I knew and asked them to come over.

Clare Abshire: I made one rule. You could only come if a boy had hurt you. While I waited for them to arrive, I wrote the whole story of what happened with Jason that night on Jason. I invited them all to add any stories of their own. We were there a long time. He became my first sculpture. I learnt that night that art isn’t something hanging on a wall, or standing on a plinth. Sometimes, it’s revenge.

Henry DeTamble: [referring to the blue marker pen] I always wondered why you kept this old pen.
Clare Abshire: You gave it to me.
Henry DeTamble: What did you do with it?

Clare Abshire: I only saw Henry one more time in our clearing. But that’s another story. Two years after that, after I had known the love of my life for fourteen years, I met him for the first time. He was younger than I’d ever seen him, didn’t have a clue who I was, and was quite the most beautiful man I had ever met. Here he was at last. My soulmate since I was six years-old. And he was an a**hole.

Henry DeTamble: Now and then, of course, you meet someone who hates you already, and you have no idea why. Yet.

Gomez: [referring to Clare] Oh, so you haven’t been to her apartment.
Henry DeTamble (28): Why would you be so happy about that?
Gomez: Who says I’m happy?
Henry DeTamble (28): The giant smile on your enormous face almost took my eye out.

Gomez: I have brought you a new toy. It answers to the name of Henry, but you can call it Library Boy. And it makes many jokes.
Henry DeTamble (28): Please, just call me Henry. I’m only Library Boy when I’m fighting crime.
Charisse: Oh, what are your superpowers?
Henry DeTamble (28): Ah, the Dewey Decimal system and speed shelving. Doesn’t always have the desired effect in a bank robbery, but I live in hope.
Gomez: See? Funny, funny. Made four jokes already.
Henry DeTamble (28): Who’s counting? Five.

Charisse: I’m Charisse, Clare’s roommate.
Gomez: Yeah! She’s with me. That’s why I’ve been to this apartment so many times.
Charisse: Yeah, I need him for lifting heavy objects.
Gomez: And the sex. Don’t forget the sex.
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, I bet she tries to.

Clare Abshire: Is it bad for chicken to be this pink?
Henry DeTamble (28): Depends. Are we going to eat it or revive it?

Clare Abshire: Foreknowledge can be helpful sometimes.
Henry DeTamble: Knowing a bit of what’s coming can be strange, it can be useful, and sometimes it can be tragedy.
Clare Abshire: Sometimes it can be farce.
Henry DeTamble: And sometimes it can be both.

Clare Abshire: It’s the door. It’s for you.
Henry DeTamble (28): Who is it?
Clare Abshire: It’s you.
Henry DeTamble (28): Okay. But who is it?
Clare Abshire: You.
Henry DeTamble (28): What? Me?
Clare Abshire: Yeah.

Henry DeTamble (28): [over intercom] I just met her friends, and they hate me already. This is really not a good moment for there to be two of me.
Henry DeTamble (41): Yeah, well, guess who’s coming to dinner.

Henry DeTamble: How do you think the woman I left alone in bed, my wife, is going to feel about me slipping back in time, and, you know, basically sitting on a blanket with the eighteen year-old version of herself?
Clare Abshire: Nostalgic?
Henry DeTamble: I think she’d be hurt.
Clare Abshire: I don’t.
Henry DeTamble: I do.
Clare Abshire: This is me we’re talking about. Are you correcting me on what I’m going to think? Wow, we are definitely married.

Clare Abshire: [after he tells her she’ll meet his youngerself in two years] What am I supposed to do for two years?
Henry DeTamble: It’s your life. Alright? Get on with it. Don’t think about what’s coming, because it’ll come anyway. Do whatever you like. Meet people. Be with people.
Clare Abshire: Be with them?

Henry DeTamble: Look, Clare, I’m out there somewhere, twenty-six year-old me, and I’m not saving myself for you, because I don’t even know you exist. So please don’t save yourself for me.
Clare Abshire: Save myself. I wanted you to be my first.
Henry DeTamble: Well, I don’t want to be yours. I want to be your last, Clare.

Clare Abshire: You’ve never kissed me, you know.
Henry DeTamble: Oh, I’ve kissed you a million times.
Clare Abshire: Well, then I expect you’re incredibly good at it.
[she kisses him]

Gomez: [after they’ve had sex] You know, I thought you were a lesbian.
Clare Abshire: In the circumstances, that’s going to be hard to take as a compliment.
Gomez: No, I only thought lesbian, because you’re always alone.
Clare Abshire: You realize lesbians aren’t alone. There is a thing they haven’t been telling you.

Clare Abshire: [after Gomez has told her he loves her] I don’t love you. I love Henry. I love Henry much more than I could ever love you, or anyone else.
Gomez: So then, where is he? Where’s Henry? And why have we never met him?
Clare Abshire: He’ll be back in about a year.
Gomez: Must be a hell of a guy if he can walk away from a woman like you and expect you to wait around for him.
Clare Abshire: Maybe I’m a hell of a woman because I’m willing to wait for him, but let’s walk right past that possibility.
Gomez: Yeah, but you didn’t wait for him. You slept with me! And that kind of got out of my mouth before I fully thought it through.

Gomez: Hey, Clare. If you haven’t listened to my last two messages, please don’t. I was very emotional during the first one, and during the second one when I was apologizing for being emotional, I unfortunately became emotional again.

Henry DeTamble: Clare, you’re not married to me yet.
Clare Abshire: What difference does marriage make? What is your problem? Are you incapable of sex unless there’s been a proposal?
Henry DeTamble: No, that’s not the point. I never even proposed to you. It’s this place, Clare. This clearing, where I watched you grow up. Where I was teaching you French verbs and checkers one week ago. Where I imprinted you like a duckling. It’s grooming, Clare. That’s what it is. Alright? I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not here. Not here.

Clare Abshire: I’m not going to marry you because time says I do. I’m going to marry you because I want to. And no way am I going to marry you unless you propose. There will never be a better time or place. My eighteenth birthday. Right here. On the very spot where I groomed you. Husband, propose.
Henry DeTamble: [gets down on one knee] Clare Abshire, wife, will you marry me
Clare Abshire: Hmm.
Henry DeTamble: What’s “hmm”?
Clare Abshire: Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a car without a test drive, would you?
Henry DeTamble: That’s not going to work.

Clare Abshire: [after they’ve had sex for the first time] Why do I always have to wait?
Henry DeTamble: I’m the one who had to wait. You’ve known me all your life. I only met you when I was twenty-eight.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, but you didn’t know that you were waiting. You were busy f***ing all those other women.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you’ve got two years to get your own back.
Clare Abshire: We’re together. There’s going to be no one else from now on.
Henry DeTamble: From two years on.

Clare Abshire: Well, you should remember this.
Henry DeTamble (41): Why?
Clare Abshire: Oh, you don’t remember your first visit to my bedroom?
Henry DeTamble (41): Well, don’t blame me. He’s the one who’s not paying attention.
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, so I’m to blame for your bad memory?
Henry DeTamble (41): Literally.

Clare Abshire: Isn’t this weird for you two? How can you even talk to each other?
Henry DeTamble (41): Why shouldn’t we?
Clare Abshire: Well, you must remember everything he’s about to say. Everything I’m going to say, everything you’re going to say. Like you’ve got a script.
Henry DeTamble (41): Do you remember everything you said thirteen years ago? Thirteen days ago? How about yesterday? Try it.
Clare Abshire: Well, I’d remember a conversation like this.
Henry DeTamble (41): Yeah, well, also, he’s been drinking.

Henry DeTamble (28): Could you put somethingon? A towel? Anything?
Henry DeTamble (41): Does the sight of your own naked body offend you?
Henry DeTamble (28): It’s depressing me. What went wrong?
Clare Abshire: Oh, I don’t know. Still looking good to me, honey.
Henry DeTamble (41): Thank you, darling.
Henry DeTamble (28): Don’t flirt with him.

Henry DeTamble: [to Clare and older Henry] Come on, no touching. Alright? He’s starting to enjoy it. Jesus Christ! Control yourself. Worst date ever. Someone else is having my erection.

Henry DeTamble (28): [referring to Gomez] Yeah, well, you know your best friend’s got the hots for your wife, right?
Henry DeTamble (41): Well, I wouldn’t trust any man who didn’t.
Clare Abshire: Henry, you say all the right things.
Henry DeTamble (28): The hell is wrong with you? One smile and it’s whack-a-mole.

Clare Abshire: So, you know about the time travel then?
Ingrid: I know all about it. I’ve known a lot longer than you.
Clare Abshire: Well, I’ve known him since I was six, so.
Ingrid: Six? Gross!

Henry DeTamble (28): What happens now?
Henry DeTamble (41): Dinner.
Henry DeTamble (28): What happens at dinner?
Henry DeTamble (41): Everybody tells the truth.
Henry DeTamble (28): Even me?
Henry DeTamble (41): Twice.

Clare Abshire: [referring to Henry] I mean, he also said that you don’t have much in common.
Ingrid: Well, he’s wrong. We both like the same things. Drinking. And f***ing. And him. I love him.
Clare Abshire: You don’t seem very happy about that
Ingrid: Didn’t know that was an option.

Henry DeTamble (41): Hi, everyone.
Gomez: Who the hell are you?
Henry DeTamble (28): Who does he look like?
Charisse: You!
Henry DeTamble (28): Exactly.
Charisse: Is he your dad?
Henry DeTamble (41): Shut up!

Clare Abshire: Are we doing this? Are we explaining?
Henry DeTamble (28): Sometimes explaining is the only option.
Henry DeTamble (41): With friends.
Henry DeTamble (28): Are these really our friends?
Henry DeTamble (41): Your best friends.
Henry DeTamble (28): [referring to Gomez] Even that one?
Henry DeTamble (41): Oh, yeah.
Henry DeTamble (28): Jesus Christ.

Gomez: You’re clones!
Henry DeTamble (41): What?
Henry DeTamble (28): Clones? Jesus Christ! Spare us the sci-fi. There’s no such thing as clones.
Henry DeTamble (41): We’re time travelers.

Henry DeTamble (41): [explaning his defective DNA and time travel] Sometimes, like now, there is two of us.
Henry DeTamble (28): So when Ingrid tells me to go f*** myself, there is an outside chance it could happen.
Clare Abshire: Again.
Henry DeTamble (28): I was sixteen, come on.

Clare Abshire: From the day I met him, Henry was never one person. He was a river. He flowed around the people he met. If you were a storm, he was a storm too. It took me
a while to understand, there’s only one way to survive a river. Be a rock.

Gomez: Alright, you know in Back to the Future…
Ingrid: Don’t.
Gomez: Don’t what?
Ingrid: Don’t watch it with him. He heckles.
Henry DeTamble (28): It’s very misleading.
Charisse: I love that movie.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, well, just don’t take it seriously.
Charisse: It’s a comedy.
Henry DeTamble (28): Maybe for you. I think it’s in very bad taste.

Henry DeTamble (28): Time happens once. You don’t get a second go. You can’t change anything.
Gomez: Yeah, but you can see so much more with your powers.
Henry DeTamble (28): My what?
Henry DeTamble (41): My powers?
Henry DeTamble (28): I see the same things you see, except in the wrong order. That’s not having power, that’s dyslexia.

Henry DeTamble (41): Clare and I usually prefer to stick to lottery numbers.
Clare Abshire: We do?
Henry DeTamble (28): We do?
Henry DeTamble (41): That’s how we fund our rock and roll lifestyle.

Charisse: You could avert disasters.
Henry DeTamble (28): No, I can’t.
Charisse: Well, you could warn people.
Henry DeTamble (28): Hello, I’m a naked time traveler. Don’t get on that train.

Ingrid: He can barely take care of himself. And you, what, think he should be out there just saving everybody else? Like some sort of superhero. Grow up!
Henry DeTamble (28): I think Clare’s well aware that I’m not a superhero.
Ingrid: Oh, I bet she is, dear. I bet she is. And that’s why she doesn’t like you very much.

Clare Abshire: I have loved him since I was six years-old.
Ingrid: No. No! You loved him! George Clooney in a blanket. Catalogue man. Your hero. You see, I love the real one.

Ingrid: Am I dead? Because the way you keep looking at me, I mean, what is that? Am I dead?
Henry DeTamble (41): Ingrid, you know I don’t talk about the future.
Ingrid: Oh, apart from Netflix? Apart from f***ing stock tips?

Ingrid: Just look me in the eye and tell me. Am I dead?
Henry DeTamble (41): Well, you look pretty alive to me.
Ingrid: In the future?
Henry DeTamble (41): Everybody’s dead in the future.

Henry DeTamble (41): Ingrid, I’m forty-one years-old. I’ve never seen myself older than forty-two. Now, maybe that means that one day I find a cure for time travel. Or maybe it means that one day I don’t run fast enough. My survival depends on running, and I can’t help noticing that I’m getting a bit slower. I’m sorry. I am sorry for everything, but knowing is not a right. Knowing is hell. Love over time is death or loss. Those are your only two exits.

Henry DeTamble (41): [after he’s told Ingrid she doesn’t have very long] I don’t have very long either. Alright? Nobody has very long. Nobody gets out of this alive. But what are you going to do, huh? You going to hide? Junior, what do we do?
Henry DeTamble (28): Live like we’re going to live forever.
Henry DeTamble (41): And you know what? You’ll only be wrong once.

Ingrid: I loved you.
Henry DeTamble (41): Then we must have had some good times. You get to keep those. Don’t spoil the memory of good days with the regret that they’re over. It’s all going to be over. And sooner than you think. Take it from a time traveler.

Clare Abshire: Where have you been?
Henry DeTamble: Discovering my wife has been lying to me our entire married life.
Clare Abshire: Oh, our first time, in the clearing?
Henry DeTamble: Yeah. For years you’ve told me that never happened.
Clare Abshire: No, I didn’t.
Henry DeTamble: Well, you always said I was the perfect gentleman.
Clare Abshire: Let me show you what I mean by perfect.

Clare Abshire: [referring to older Henry] Will I see him again?
Henry DeTamble (28): Well, technically you’re seeing him right now.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, but him.
Henry DeTamble (28): I don’t know. Well, no, I do know. And, yeah, definitely. You just might have to wait a bit. Shall we?
Henry DeTamble (28): [as she hugs him] What’s that?
Clare Abshire: Mercy.

Clare Abshire: Sit back. Relax. What’s wrong with you?
Henry DeTamble (28): I’m in a car.
Clare Abshire: Okay, what’s wrong with cars?
Henry DeTamble (28): Me. I’m what’s wrong. If I time travel now, wherever I arrive, I’ll be doing sixty. Somewhere in history, there’ll be a big splat with a surprised-looking face in the middle.

Henry DeTamble (28): I am well known for being a lying a**hole.
Clare Abshire: Well, future you isn’t. Future you is awesome.
Henry DeTamble (28): Could you stop preferring me to my face?
Clare Abshire: Well, he’s you, but awesome. How could I not prefer him?
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, great. Perfect. There’s exactly one of me in the world, and I’m coming second.

Henry DeTamble (28): I mean, is there anything I do better? What about the hair? Is the hair any better?
Clare Abshire: The sex is good. I really like the sex.
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, well, that’s good. Thank you for the feedback.
Clare Abshire: Well, I mean, I’m basically betraying the love of my life with his hot kid brother, but it’s good.
Henry DeTamble (28): Well, you put it like that, and it does sound good.

Gomez: [over phone, as he’s trying to tell Henry where he first saw him] Well, does telling you affect the causality, you know, of time.
Henry DeTamble (28): The causality of time? Do you listen to the words coming out of your mouth, or do you just hang around in the same room as them?
Gomez: You know what, Henry? F*** you, man!

Gomez: [referring to Henry] I don’t like him.
Charisse: But he’s going to be your best friend.
Gomez: How? How is that even possible?

Henry DeTamble (28): [referring to Clare’s parents home] One family in this place. What do you need all the other rooms for?
Clare Abshire: Our issues.

Clare Abshire: The trouble with revisiting your childhood is nothing is quite where you left it. You tell yourself it all looks exactly the same, and then somebody else sees it.

Henry DeTamble (28): Smaller than I thought.
Clare Abshire: What is?
Henry DeTamble (28): The meadow. I thought it’d be bigger.
Clare Abshire: It seemed big to me. But then I suppose everything’s bigger when you’re little. Bigger and more important.

Clare Abshire: The clearing was our place.
Henry DeTamble (28): As in, our place.
Clare Abshire: Well, yes.
Henry DeTamble (28): As in, I’m him. Clare, I’m the man you met there.
Clare Abshire: Yes, I know.
Henry DeTamble (28): It’s me, Clare. I’m Henry. The same Henry.
Clare Abshire: Someday.

Henry DeTamble (28): You don’t like me being here, do you? Like this place belongs to the other me.
Clare Abshire: That’s stupid.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, it is. But is it true? You could always try to be nice to me, you know. It could become a habit. Like a thing we do.

Clare Abshire: I am nice.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, but you keep looking disappointed that I’m not him.
Clare Abshire: Well, you keep not being him.
Henry DeTamble (28): Apparently, I’m going to get there.

Clare Abshire: Don’t you ever think how amazing it must be to fall in love in the right order?
Henry DeTamble (28): Call me sentimental, but I think it has some pretty amazing qualities right now.

Henry DeTamble (28): There’s nothing special about old, Clare. Old is what happens to new stuff, if you wait around long enough.

Henry DeTamble (28): [to Clare] Because you don’t get it, do you? You non-time travel people, you don’t ever, ever get it. You hang on to things from the past, like the past matters any more. You worry about the future, and it’s not even here yet, when the only time is now. That’s the only time there ever is. Now.

Henry DeTamble (28): [to Clare] The past is what didn’t kill you. The future is what definitely will. And in between is the only thing that matters. You. You and me, right now. You and me, right now.

Clare Abshire: Why does sex with you always make me feel like I’m going to hell?
Henry DeTamble (28): I don’t know, but it is the single greatest compliment I’ve ever been paid.

Henry DeTamble (28): [to Clare] What, you told her I was a time traveler, and you believed that?
Alicia Abshire: The alternative was that my sister had found a pipeline of naked men under the house. Time travel seemed so disappointing by comparison, I thought it must be true.

Clare Abshire: [referring to Henry] What are you doing? Don’t freak him out like that!
Alicia Abshire: I’m supposed to freak out your boyfriends. It’s my sacred duty as your younger sister.

Alicia Abshire: [referring to Henry] He’s hot.
Clare Abshire: Yeah, I know he’s hot.
Alicia Abshire: You never said he was hot.
Clare Abshire: Well, I didn’t notice he was hot. I was in love with him.
Alicia Abshire: You want to unpack that one? Because I’m not sure all the pieces will go back together.

Clare Abshire: [referring to Henry] I was a kid. Now he’s a kid.
Alicia Abshire: He’s not a kid, Clare.
Clare Abshire: I fell in love with a grown-up. And now he turns up, and he’s all young.
Alicia Abshire: Young and hot.
Clare Abshire: But that’s not the point.

Henry DeTamble (28): Why do you say that? “Comrade.”
Gomez: I’m part Polish. Well, my family is. And Poland used to be communist, right, so they all used to call each other comrade.
Henry DeTamble (28): And that’s a reason for us to do it?
Gomez: Well, you’ve never questioned it till now.
Henry DeTamble (28): Now, for me, is 2008. I’ve only just met you.
Gomez: 2008. I forget, do you like me yet?
Henry DeTamble (28): Do I ever like you?

Gomez: We’ve got something in common at least.
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, yeah? What’s that?
Gomez: We’re in love with the same woman.
Henry DeTamble (28): You don’t hide it very well, you know that. Comrade. Way too obvious. I mean, Clare knows, I know. Jesus, Charisse must have noticed something. Does Charisse know?
Gomez: Yes. The answer is yes. I’m afraid you do like me.

Gomez: Yeah, well, you’re still around in 2022.
Henry DeTamble (28): Oh, yeah. Waiting till I’m not? So you can swoop in, soon as I’m out of the picture?
Gomez: I have a problem with you being out of the picture, which is complicated, and kind of exhausting.
Henry DeTamble (28): What’s that?
Gomez: It’ll break my heart. We’re best friends, Henry. You’ll learn to live with it.

Henry DeTamble (28): I do like you.
Gomez: I know.
Henry DeTamble (28): How can I like someone who’s hot for my future wife?
Gomez: Because things change over time. For instance, these days, I’m hot for your current wife. I’ll tell you what doesn’t change though.
Henry DeTamble (28): What?
Gomez: I know it’s hopeless. I’ve known she was in love with you since before I knew who you were, or even if you were a real person.
Henry DeTamble (28): You’re going to have to explain that one to me.

Gomez: I saw the drawing.
Henry DeTamble (28): What drawing?
Gomez: The drawing Clare did of you.
Henry DeTamble (28): What, you could tell from a drawing?
Gomez: Have you seen it yet? Face like yours, drawing like that. I figured she had to be in love.

Alicia Abshire: Why do you keep going on about the cello which I sucked?
Lucille Abshire: Because a mother is allowed to be proud of her daughter. The cellist and the artist.
Clare Abshire: I’m an art student, Mom.
Alicia Abshire: That’s not being proud, that’s being disappointed.
Lucille Abshire: It’s not being disappointed to know that a person could do better.
Alicia Abshire: Yes, it is.

Clare Abshire: You know what I’ve had enough of? Everything! Mom, your daughter is a hairdresser, and she is perfectly happy about it, and that is totally fine. Your other daughter is an art student, which means she better get good at bank robbery, because sorry, everyone, she’s going to marry a librarian. And your one and only son is a such a total f***ing a**hole, he did the impossible and became a lawyer without getting noticeably worse. These are things you have to deal with. Thank you for the f***ing soup.

Clare Abshire: When you’re young you see only what you want to see. Nothing gets in the way of the fairy tale. When you grow up, your vision clears, and you see so much less.

Alicia Abshire: [to Henry] They’re alright, really, my mom and dad. Even Mark. They’re just, you know, people. Takes way to long to realize that, doesn’t it? Your mom and dad are just people.

Clare Abshire: [referring to the clearing] Guess this place means nothing to you. Don’t you even get deja vu? I was going make a big ceremony of bringing you out here for the first time. Sorry.
Henry DeTamble (28): It doesn’t matter. I’m here now.
Clare Abshire: Yeah.
Henry DeTamble (28): [Clare turns to see Henry with short hair, as she remembers him] I’m here now.

Clare Abshire: You asked me a question in this clearing once, or you’re going to. And I never got round to answering.
Henry DeTamble (28): And what was the question?
Clare Abshire: Well, the answer is yes. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. And I’m sorry.
Henry DeTamble (28): For what?
Clare Abshire: I loved you from the start. From the moment I met you in that stupid library, I was completely in love with you. I was just expecting someone else.
Henry DeTamble (28): Well, that’s okay. I can do that. I can be somebody else.
[they start kissing]

Henry DeTamble (28): Look at you. All beautiful, and perfect, and in love with me. Now, I’ve got happiness.
Clare Abshire (20): Oh, you poor thing.
Henry DeTamble (28): Full-blown happiness. Like an alarm bell.
Clare Abshire (20): What? You’re against happiness?
Henry DeTamble (28): Happiness is suddenly having an opinion about a future.
Clare Abshire (20): Yes, it is.
Henry DeTamble (28): Which is a mistake.

Clare Abshire (20): Henry, I love you, and you love me. Now, I don’t want to get all “greetings card” about it, but I happen to think, and I’m not exactly alone in this, but I happen to think that love is what gives meaning to life, and is the single best thing that could happen to a human being.
Henry DeTamble (28): Love is what gives hope to mortals. It’s the cruelest thing I know.

Richard DeTamble: You seem quite lovely. What on earth is your interest in Henry?
Clare Abshire (20): Well, to be honest, he’s exceptionally good in bed.
Richard DeTamble: Well, I know he thinks so.
Henry DeTamble (28): [as Richard and Clare laugh] It was an opportunity. I think anyone given the same opportunity would’ve, you know.

Richard DeTamble: Always remember, Henry, a marriage is about two people, but a wedding is about exactly one woman. And you are marrying her daughter.

Henry DeTamble (30): This is the house we are going to live in, in the future. See that tree out there? I have seen that tree at every kind of height.
Clare Abshire (20): What if I feel like deciding for myself?
Henry DeTamble (30): Oh, you should do that. But this is the decision you’re going to make.

Clare Abshire (22): Is anything allowed to be spontaneous anymore?
Henry DeTamble (30): You are being spontaneous. I’m just telling you how your spontaneity is going to work out.

Clare Abshire (22): Do you have any idea what it’s like being married to you?
Henry DeTamble (30): No. But neither do you. Technically we’re not married.
Clare Abshire (22): Fair point.

Henry DeTamble (28): I’m time traveling a lot at the moment. Because I’m stressing. And if I stress at the wedding, I could flip out.
Richard DeTamble: Everybody flips out at their wedding.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, but when I flip out, I end up naked at a hoedown in 1987. Alright? I need drugs. I need something that’s going to calm me down for the whole day and not turn me into a zombie.

Richard DeTamble: Go to a doctor.
Henry DeTamble (28): We’ve been through that.
Richard DeTamble: And I keep telling you, there isn’t some secret government agency dissecting American citizens.
Henry DeTamble (28): How do you know?
Richard DeTamble: Because it’s the kind of thing that only happens in movies.
Henry DeTamble (28): So is time travel.

Henry DeTamble (28): Bad memories are trapdoors. But now, it’s the future I’m worried about, so that’s where I wind up.

Richard DeTamble: [over phone] It’s nice you’ve started calling me.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, well, I’m worried.
Richard DeTamble: It’s nice I’m who you call when you’re worried.
Henry DeTamble (28): Actually, it’s worse than worried. It’s hope. I’m so full of hope.

Mark Abshire: If nobody laughs at a joke, did the joke really happen?
Gomez: Yes.
Mark Abshire: Are you sure?
Gomez: I make a lot of jokes like that.
Mark Abshire: Good jokes?
Gomez: Great jokes.
Mark Abshire: How do you know?
Gomez: Comedic instinct.
Mark Abshire: But nobody laughs.
Gomez: Some people don’t have my instinct.
Mark Abshire: A lot of people?
Gomez: So many.

Clare Abshire (20): [to Henry] Try to understand. This wedding is a major Broadway production. I mean, my parents are planning a festival of joy that will dwarf the achievements of all their friends, and cripple the social ambition of everyone they love. I mean, they have used the words “shock and awe”. They literally want other peoples weddings canceled in actual despair. Now, we can’t take that from them.

Henry DeTamble (28): Aren’t you worried that I might just disappear? That I might time travel during the ceremony and just leave you at the altar.
Clare Abshire (20): I know you won’t.
Henry DeTamble (28): How?
Clare Abshire (20): Because I know we’re married in the future.

Ben: What do you want, after all these years of ignoring me?
Henry DeTamble (28): Come on. We’re men. Ignoring each other is the medium of our friendship.

Henry DeTamble (28): What’s that?
Ben: Morphine plus.
Henry DeTamble (28): Morphine plus what?
Ben: Morphine plus none of your business.

Ben: [to a passed out Henry] You have the most irresponsible attitude to pharmaceuticals of anyone I ever met. I make a suggestion, I show you a pill, a sensible person is not supposed to just swallow it.

Ben: Just to be clear, I am not a drug dealer. I supply unauthorized medical care to the genuinely ill.
Gomez: You’re also a drug dealer.
Ben: It’s a matter of emphasis.

Henry DeTamble (28): Why did you call me a ghost?
Henry DeTamble (36): You are a ghost. From where I’m sitting.

Henry DeTamble (28): Why is your wife crying?
Henry DeTamble (36): No, she isn’t.
Henry DeTamble (28): I just saw her. I just spoke to her.
Henry DeTamble (36): She isn’t my wife. Technically speaking. Sorry, junior. You tried, but you couldn’t stick the landing.

Henry DeTamble (36): I make time travel babies, and guess what? Time travel right out of the womb.

Henry DeTamble (36): [referring to Clare] Do you have any idea what this has been like? Every time she gets pregnant, every time she thinks this is the one. This time, it’ll happen. She’s so full of hope. She’s so happy, it fills up this whole house. And I always know it won’t work. It won’t ever, ever, work. And do you know how long I’ve known that? Since I was standing on the other side of this desk. Since I was you.

Henry DeTamble (28): [referring to having a vasectomy] You didn’t even tell her? You just went ahead and did it?
Henry DeTamble (36): Yeah. That’s what I did.
Henry DeTamble (28): I’m not going to do that.
Henry DeTamble (36): That’s exactly what you’re going to do.

Henry DeTamble (36): Oh, what, you’re going to change it? You can’t change it! F***ing doofus, can’t change anything.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah, well, I’m changing this.
Henry DeTamble (36): F*** off! You couldn’t even get married.

Richard DeTamble: [after Henry at 36 travels to back to his wedding day] Look at him. It’s the wrong Henry.
Henry DeTamble (36): Well now, isn’t this complicated?

Clare Abshire (29): [referring to her wedding day] It’s shoe polish day.
Henry DeTamble (28): Shoe polish what?
Clare Abshire (29): It’s shoe polish day.

Henry DeTamble (36): Shoe polish. I need shoe polish.
Richard DeTamble: Shoe polish?
Gomez: Why?
Henry DeTamble (36): Well, I’m guessing none of you guys are carrying hair dye.

Clare Abshire (29): Why don’t you like watching videos?
Henry DeTamble (28): The past is a hole I keep falling down. Looking at it gives me vertigo.
Clare Abshire (29): Well, this isn’t the past. This is right now.

Gomez: How is this ever going to work?
Henry DeTamble (36): I know how this plays out. I handle the wedding, and then I ping back home. Then junior pings back here, and he handles the marriage.
Gomez: He won’t be married.
Henry DeTamble (36): Well, technically, no.

Henry DeTamble (36): Was marrying Mom worth losing her? This isn’t about me. It’s about Clare. I’m aging faster than I should, and I’ve seen enough of the future to know that I’m not going to make it all the way. So, for Clare’s sake. Was marrying Mom worth losing her?
Richard DeTamble: That’s a big question.
Henry DeTamble (36): Well, it’s a big day.
Richard DeTamble: Yeah. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
Henry DeTamble (36): Thanks.
Richard DeTamble: Because of you. I don’t say it enough, but it was worth it because of you.

Richard DeTamble: Give her a child. If you can’t stay, do that. Give her a child.
Henry DeTamble (36): Well, there might be a problem with that.
Richard DeTamble: Problems can be solved.
Henry DeTamble (36): Not this one, Dad.

Henry DeTamble (28): [as he’s watching the wedding video] What the f*** is he doing there?
Clare Abshire (29): He’s getting married.
Henry DeTamble (28): Yeah. To my girlfriend!
Clare Abshire (29): Keep in mind, he remembers watching these videos.
Henry DeTamble (36): [into camera] A**hole.
Henry DeTamble (28): [as he’s watching himself] Oh, nice. Classy. Very classy. In a church!

Gomez: Alright, remember, don’t let anyone get a good look at you in case they notice how old and s**tty you are.
Henry DeTamble (36): Oh, thanks, Gomez. Way to calm my nerves.
Gomez: Oh, don’t be nervous, you’ll crinkle.

Clare Abshire (20): [referring to 28 year-old Henry] Where is he?
Henry DeTamble (36): You look amazing.
Clare Abshire (20): You smell of shoe polish.

Henry DeTamble (28): You must be glad I hit him.
Clare Abshire (29): Why?
Henry DeTamble (28): I saw your face. I saw you fighting. You hated him.
Clare Abshire (29): No, I never hate him. I mean, I could punch his stupid, thoughtless little face in, but I could never hate him.

Henry DeTamble (28): I hate what he did to you.
Clare Abshire (29): Oh, he did what he thought he had to. I guess because he thought I couldn’t take it anymore. And, well, because he definitely couldn’t. Thing is, I wanted children. I wanted your children more than anything in the world.
Henry DeTamble (28): And I want that too.
Clare Abshire (29): No. You gave up after five tries. I would never have given up. I would have done anything.

Henry DeTamble (28): So how are you going to forgive me?
Clare Abshire (29): I guess I’m going to have to figure that one out.
Henry DeTamble (28): But I’m supposed to make you happy.
Clare Abshire (29): Who told you that?

Clare Abshire (29): I’m the older woman. Finally! I like this.

Clare Abshire (29): Henry, we’re not supposed to make each other happy. If we do, great, but that’s not the point. We’re getting married. Not going on a hot date, or a vacation, or a weekend away somewhere. But, actually, getting married.

Clare Abshire (29): It’s like setting sail into a storm. And you know for a fact, you both won’t make it out the other side. So what do you do? You cling on for as long as you can, because you know, that this is as good as anything ever gets. Make my happy days happier, make my sad days bearable. And if you forgive me when I hurt you, I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?
Henry DeTamble (28): Okay.

Clare Abshire (29): I miss you.
Henry DeTamble (28): Sorry, what?
Clare Abshire (29): I miss you. You young, angry, a**hole you. Did I make you change? Did I chase you away?

Clare Abshire (29): Well, if you time travel here, come see me. You’re my husband, I’m entitled.
Henry DeTamble (28): Isn’t that a bit…
Clare Abshire (29): Henry, we’re married.

Henry DeTamble (36): [as they’ve just got married] Don’t worry. Junior will be back in a bit.
Clare Abshire (20): I’ve missed you.

Henry DeTamble (28): It’s a weird idea, me coming to see you now and then. I mean, I’m just him. I’m just basically the guy who got a vasectomy.
Clare Abshire (29): Not yet you’re not.