The Tourist Quotes – ‘Why is everyone trying to kill me?’

Starring: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff, Rufus Sewell, Christian De Sica, Alessio Boni, Daniele Pecci, Giovanni Guidelli, Raoul Bova, Bruno Wolkowitch

OUR RATING: ★★☆☆☆

Story:

Romantic thriller directed and co-written by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. The story follows math teacher Frank Tupelo (Johnny Depp), who during an impromptu trip to Europe to mend a broken heart, finds himself in an extraordinary situation when a stranger, Elise (Angelina Jolie), places herself in his path. Their seemingly innocent flirtation turns into a dangerous game of cat and mouse while various people, who all think that Frank is Elise’s thieving paramour, Alexander Pearce, try to capture the pair.

Our Favorite Quote:

‘People have two sides. A good side, a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone we love.’ – Elise (The Tourist) Click To Tweet

Best Quotes (Total Quotes: 75)

[first English speaking lines; Acheson answers his cell phone]
John Acheson: Yes?
Capitaine Courson: She’s at the usual cafe. She’s speaking with a man. He looks like a messenger, but you said to call you if anything changed in her routine.

[referring to the surveillance camera’s following Elise]
John Acheson: Stay on his face. His face.
Capitaine Courson: Do you think he’s Alexandra Pearce?
John Acheson: I think everybody’s Pearce.

[reading the letter that she received]
Elise: [voice over] Elise, you have no reason to trust me anymore, but give me a chance to explain myself. I know the police are watching you, we have to throw them off the trail. Board the eight-twenty-two, the Gare de Lyon, pick someone my height and build and make them believe it is me. Burn this letter. It is important you follow my instructions precisely. I love you, Alexander.

[Acheson is watching Elise read the letter on the surveillance camera]
John Acheson: It’s from him.
[she burns the letter, Acheson gives instructions to the French police]
John Acheson: Save that letter. Go in now, save that letter.

John Acheson: Well?
Brigadier: The letter is burnt to shit.
John Acheson: Don’t fucking touch it. Get the ashes, take them to the van. I’ll send you someone.

[to Acheson]
Chief Inspector Jones: So, Alexander Pearce has a new face, just as you suspected. I’d have thought it must have taken quite a lot of the money he stole from Reginald Shaw to finance this transformation.
[looks at a picture of the courier that had given the letter to Elise at the cafe earlier]
Chief Inspector Jones: Achmed Tchebali, bicycle courier of Algerian decent. Not only has Pearce acquired a wife and a child, he’s also four inches shorter than he used to be. That must have been a big item of expenditure.
[looks at Acheson]
Chief Inspector Jones: [sarcastically] Congratulations, Acheson. You have indeed cracked this case.

John Acheson: Sir, this morning she received a note and we have strong reason to believe…
Chief Inspector Jones: Alexander Pearce, has seven hundred and forty four million in illegal assets, that given he is a British subject we might seize. This operation so far has cost me eight million. If I thought there were more than a one in a hundred chance you could be successful, it would be rational for me to continue this operation. I do not.

[on the train, Elise has picked Frank to sit opposite]
Frank Tupelo: I’m sorry.
Elise: What for?
[uncertain what to say, Frank just smiles at her]
Frank Tupelo: Do you mind me smoking? It’s not a real cigarette.
Elise: What?
Frank Tupelo: It’s electronic. It delivers the same amount of nicotine but the smoke is water vapor. Yeah, watch.
[he takes a few drags of the electronic cigarette and stabs the end on his hand]
Frank Tupelo: LED light.
Elise: That’s somewhat disappointing.
Frank Tupelo: Would you rather have me smoking for real?
Elise: I would rather you be a man who did exactly as he pleased.

Elise: I’m Elise.
Frank Tupelo: I’m Frank.
Elise: That’s a terrible name.
Frank Tupelo: [laughing] It’s the only one I’ve got.
Elise: Maybe we can find you another.
Frank Tupelo: Okay.

Frank Tupelo: What brings you to Venice?
Elise: You read spy novels. I’m the mysterious woman on the train, you tell me what my story is.
Frank Tupelo: Okay. Um, I think you could be a diplomatic attaché.
Elise: Hmmm.
Frank Tupelo: Or maybe, a girl from East Germany, who’s father’s been kidnapped and they’re blackmailing you into stealing something for them. Probably a micro-film. There’s usually micro-film involved.
Elise: What awaits me?
Frank Tupelo: Trouble, certainly.
Elise: Danger?
Frank Tupelo: Oh, yeah! You’ll most likely be shot at in less than two chapters.
Elise: Hmm. Is there a man in my life?
Frank Tupelo: Have to wait and see.

Elise: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
Frank Tupelo: What?
[she gives him a look]
Frank Tupelo: Would you like to have dinner?
Elise: Women don’t like questions.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner.
Elise: Too demanding.
Frank Tupelo: Join me for dinner?
Elise: Another question.
[Frank thinks for a moment]
Frank Tupelo: I’m having dinner, if you’d care to join me.
[Elise smiles at him]

Elise: Musician?
[Frank shakes his head]
Elise: Bar tender?
[Frank shakes his head again]
Elise: I give up.
Frank Tupelo: Math. I teach math.
Elise: I would not have guessed that. I’d imagine you a cool maths teacher though.
Frank Tupelo: Still a math teacher.

[shows him a picture of Frank]
John Acheson: Could this be Pearce?
Acheson’s Assistant: Are we still working on that?
[Acheson doesn’t answer]
Acheson’s Assistant: Well, I only have the sketches to go by so…
[studies the photo of Frank]
Acheson’s Assistant: Ectomorph. Same basic phenotype. Bottom line, it could be him.
John Acheson: I knew he couldn’t leave her. Run a worldwide line check on that face, I bet you ten quid there’s no match.
Acheson’s Assistant: Okay, but what case number do you want to book it under?
John Acheson: Just run it.
Acheson’s Assistant: You really think it’s Pearce?
John Acheson: Run it.

Frank Tupelo: I have a strange feeling that those two people over there are watching us.
Elise: Do you know something? I think you’re right.
Frank Tupelo: Really?
[Elise laughs]
Elise: You’re a paranoid math teacher.

Elise: So, what are you doing all alone in the city of lovers? Is there no one in your life?
Frank Tupelo: There was.
Elise: What happened?
Frank Tupelo: She left me.
Elise: I’m sorry to hear that, Frank.

[after hearing the announcement that train will stop at the end of the line]
Frank Tupelo: I guess I should go and get my suitcase and stuff.
Elise: Goodbye.
Frank Tupelo: Goodbye. Thank you.

Acheson’s Assistant: Sir, I…
John Acheson: Wait.
[reads from the remains of the note that Pearce had sent to Elise]
John Acheson: Pick someone my height and build and make them believe it’s me.
Acheson’s Assistant: We did get an exact match. He’s a maths teacher from Madison Community College. Frank Tupelo. Lost his wife in a car crash three years ago. He’s a tourist.
John Acheson: Thank you.

[Elise is on a boat notices Frank and calls him over]
Elise: Do you want to come with me?
Frank Tupelo: What? Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, I could use the lift, yeah. Thank you. That’s very kind.

[in their hotel room he notices Elise looking at the closet full of clothes and jewelry]
Elise: This really is a very nice hotel, isn’t it?
Frank Tupelo: They think of everything, don’t they?

[to his men]
Reginald Shaw: You know he will be with her. They’ll be staying at one of the grand hotels. The Gritti, the Regina, the Danieli. I want you to keep a watch on all of them. You can kill the girl, but you can’t kill him. Not until I have my money that is.

[Elisa all dressed up walks into their sitting room, Frank look at her in shock]
Frank Tupelo: Fuck! You’re ravenous.
Elise: Do you mean, ravishing?
Frank Tupelo: I do.
Elise: You’re ravenous.
Frank Tupelo: I am.
Elise: Come on.

Elise: The, um, the scampi and champagne risotto, please.
Waiter Antonio: Excellent choice. Excellent.
Frank Tupelo: He didn’t say that to me. Did he not like my choice?
Elise: Your choice was excellent.

Frank Tupelo: Who is he? Hotels don’t leave gifts like that, do they? Who is he?
Elise: He’s someone who used to be very important to me.
Frank Tupelo: Used to? Are you meeting him in Venice?
Elise: I hope so. Part of me hopes I don’t.
Frank Tupelo: Why?
Elise: Because, I don’t like being told what to do. I don’t like being summoned. But it felt even worse not hearing from him for two years.

[Frank notices Elise touching her bracelet]
Elise: It’s the, um, the Roman god, Janus. My mother gave it to me when I was little. She wanted to teach me that people have two sides. A good side, a bad side, a past, a future. And that we must embrace both in someone we love. And I tried.
Frank Tupelo: What’s he like?
Elise: He’s different, from anybody I know.
Frank Tupelo: Different’s good. Where I come from, the highest compliment they can offer a person is to say that they’re down to earth, grounded. I hate it. It drives me nuts.

[in their hotel room]
Frank Tupelo: It really was a nice restaurant, wasn’t it? Very nice wine. I’m making us a nice little drink. Which is very nice of me, isn’t it?
[Elise laughs, he hands her the drink]
Elise: Thank you.
Frank Tupelo: Were those flowers here when we checked in?
[she opens and reads the note that was on the flowers]
Elise: It’s an invitation to a ball, two nights from now.
Frank Tupelo: Ah, you’ve been summoned.
Elise: It appears I have.

Frank Tupelo: May I pay you a compliment?
Elise: Another question you need never ask.
Frank Tupelo: You are the least down to earth person I’ve ever met.
[Elise kisses him and the men camping outside her hotel start taking surveillance pictures]
Elise: It’s been a long day. I do hope the couch will be comfortable. Good night.

[two men are trying to kill Frank, he locks himself in the bathroom and calls the hotel reception]
Frank Tupelo: Hello? Please help!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Buongiorno signore.
Frank Tupelo: Buongiorno. I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door.
Hotel Concierge Alessio: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
Frank Tupelo: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con pistolas!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
Frank Tupelo: Thank you.
[the men shoot their guns at the door]
Frank Tupelo: Ah, I got to go!
[he drops the phone and goes out the window]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Sir?
[puts the phone down]
Hotel Concierge Alessio: American!

[on the phone to Acheson]
Sergente Cerato: Commander Acheson, two armed men are chasing the American from yesterday. Shots have been fired. Request permission to intervene.
John Acheson: You still have Elise?
Sergente Cerato: I still have a visual on the Elise Ward, but the American is in imminent danger.
John Acheson: You mean the mathematics teacher from Wisconsin? I’d say not our man, Nate.
Sergente Cerato: Sir, this man is in real peril.
John Acheson: This is exactly why she chose him. To distract us. Stay with her, do not move unless she moves. Am I making myself crystal clear?
Sergente Cerato: Sir, they will kill him.
John Acheson: Not our man, Nate.

[at the police station]
Colonnello Lombardi: Now, you wish to report a murder?
Frank Tupelo: No, some people tried to kill me.
Colonnello Lombardi: I was told you were reporting a murder.
Frank Tupelo: Attempted murder.
Colonnello Lombardi: That’s not so serious.
Frank Tupelo: Mmm, no, not when you downgrade it from a murder. But when you upgrade it from room service it’s quite serious.
Colonnello Lombardi: So is assaulting a police officer.
Frank Tupelo: That was an accident.
Colonnello Lombardi: The officer feels differently.

Frank Tupelo: With all due respect sir, I think maybe I should be talking to someone, someone not Italian. The embassy or Interpol.
Colonnello Lombardi: Interpol?
Frank Tupelo: I’m an American citizen.
Colonnello Lombardi: What does it mean?
Frank Tupelo: I don’t know, but I’m involved in something here and no offense, this is not a local issue.

Colonnello Lombardi: What is it you think you are involved in?
Frank Tupelo: It all started when I met woman on the train from Paris.
Colonnello Lombardi: This is already good.
Frank Tupelo: I know, I know. She took me to her hotel.
Colonnello Lombardi: Ah, bene.
Frank Tupelo: I know. No! She’s involved with another man and I think she’s in love. I
Colonnello Lombardi: I’m sorry to hear that.
Frank Tupelo: I know. Anyway, this man, whatever his story is, some people are obviously trying to kill him.
Colonnello Lombardi: How do you know this?
Frank Tupelo: Because they tried to kill me.
Colonnello Lombardi: They tried to kill you.
Frank Tupelo: Yes! Because they must have thought that I was him.

Colonnello Lombardi: I like you, Mr. Tupelo.
Frank Tupelo: I like you too, sir.
Colonnello Lombardi: But surely you understand how strange this all sounds. Come with me.
[he takes a handcuffed Frank out of his office]
Frank Tupelo: Where are you taking me?
[Frank sees that he’s been taken to a police lock up cell]
Frank Tupelo: Oh, you’re going to lock me in there?
Colonnello Lombardi: Don’t worry.
Frank Tupelo: Please don’t do this. Sir, I’ve done nothing wrong. Please.
[as he’s locking the cell door]
Colonnello Lombardi: It’s only I check some facts.

[Lombardi enters the cell that he’d locked Frank in earlier in the day]
Colonnello Lombardi: You’re facts checked out. We have to leave. You’re not safe here.
Frank Tupelo: I don’t understand.
Colonnello Lombardi: This has to look right.
[he puts Frank into handcuffs and takes him out of the cell]
Colonnello Lombardi: Come on.

[to Frank]
Colonnello Lombardi: The man you are talking about is called Alexander Pearce. He stole big money from a gangster. They’ve come to Venice to find him. They think you are him. They pays, uh, come si dice. A bounty on your head. That’s why you’re not safe.

[he’s left Frank handcuffed in a boat and meets with Shaw’s bodyguards]
Colonnello Lombardi: You’ve come to buy a key?
[one of the men hands him an envelope filled with money]
Colonnello Lombardi: Brand new bills. I appreciate it.
[he begins to count the money]
Shigalyov: You think we cheat you?
Colonnello Lombardi: Of course not. I just enjoy counting.

[referring to Frank escaping with Elise]
Shigalyov: We tried everything, sir. But he got away.
Reginald Shaw: So I heard. So I heard.
[to his tailor]
Reginald Shaw: They’re referring to the young man who stole two point three billion dollars from me.
Arturo the Tailor: Mama mia!
Reginald Shaw: You know I worked very hard for years so I wouldn’t have to do the dirty work anymore. No more chasing traitors, no more killing. Now I employ people to do those things for me.
[he takes his tailors measuring tape and walks behind Shigalyov]
Reginald Shaw: Accept that you don’t.
[he suddenly starts to strangle Shigalyov to death with the measuring tape]

[after he’s just killed his bodyguard Shigalyov he walks up to the mirror and looks at his suit]
Reginald Shaw: Does it look all right?
[his bodyguards look scared]
Fedka: Yes.
Virginsky: Like always
Reginald Shaw: What’s always?
Virginsky: Very good.
Reginald Shaw: Yes, I think it looks all right.

See more The Tourist Quotes

Frank Tupelo: Where’s the owner of this boat? Bottom of a canal?
Elise: Sitting in a cafe with a pocket full of Euros.
Frank Tupelo: Why is all this happening? Why is everyone trying to kill me?
Elise: It’s because I kissed you.
Frank Tupelo: Do I look that much like him?
Elise: I am sorry I got you involved in all this.
Frank Tupelo: Why are you involved in all this?
Elise: Because I’m in love with him.
Frank Tupelo: Really? I’m not. Seriously, help me understand why?
Elise: I honestly didn’t think he would let it go this far. I didn’t think he would let Shaw get to you.
Frank Tupelo: Shaw? That’s the man that Pearce stole from?
Elise: Hmmm. Reginald Shaw. Alexander used to be his private banker.
Frank Tupelo: I thought he’d be Russian or something like that.
Elise: He surrounds himself with Russians, but he’s as English as Alexa and I.

[taking about Reginald Shaw]
Elise: Once he bragged to Alexander that he had every man killed his wife had slept with before she met him. When he found out how many there had been, he killed her too.
[she unlocks Frank’s handcuffs]
Elise: There you are.
Frank Tupelo: What made Pearce think that he could take on a guy like that?
Elise: It’s just who he is.
Frank Tupelo: Could you ever feel like that about someone like me?
[Elise doesn’t answer]
Frank Tupelo: I don’t regret it you know. Kissing you.
Elise: I have to check the, uh, the thing.
[she gets up goes onto the deck of the boat]

[as the boat is pulling away]
Elise: I wish we’d met in another life, Frank. Take the next flight back to America, you’ll find what you need in the bag. Be safe.
[he checks bag and sees clothes his passport and some money, he looks at her boat as she leaves]
Frank Tupelo: But I’m in love with you.

[Elise walks into the Acheson’s office]
John Acheson: Well, you’ve certainly blown your cover now.
Elise: I’m ready to give you Pearce.
John Acheson: You’re ready to give me Pearce. Well, that’s interesting. So you aren’t here to beg me to lift your suspension? You’ve actually come to do your job. Allow me to ask, why now? You live with a man for an entire year and during which time we don’t get one single usable photograph. But now you’re ready to give him up?
[Elise doesn’t say anything]
John Acheson: It’s because of that tourist, isn’t it?
Elise: I want to put an end to this before someone gets killed.

John Acheson: I wish I could understand your choice in men. A fugitive thief, well that’s exciting perhaps, but a school teacher from Wisconsin? Who’d have thought your tastes were so provincial.
Elise: Do you want Pearce or not?
John Acheson: Yes.
Elise: I’m meeting him at a ball, tonight.
John Acheson: You know you’ll have to wear a wire?
[Elise nods her head]
John Acheson: Good.

[at the ball Elise goes towards the drinks table, a man approaches her from behind]
Conte Filippo Gaggia: Where have you been? I thought you’d never get here.
Elise: Really?
[he hands a glass of champagne]

Elise: How could you be so sure I was coming?
Conte Filippo Gaggia: I trust intuition, fate wouldn’t bring me to an evening like this with no reason. Soon as you walked in I knew what the reason was.
Elise: Mmmm.
Conte Filippo Gaggia: No?
Elise: No.
[she walks away from him]

[Acheson watches as Elise walks away from Gaggia, listening to the voice through the wire]
Voice on the wire: Conte Filippo Gaggia, land owner. Big reputation as a swordsman.
John Acheson: Well, he won’t be gilding tonight.

[Acheson watches as Elise goes after a man that has left her an envelope]
John Acheson: [into his wire] It’s Pearce. He’s here, he just left her that envelope. Pull up the footage we have his face.

[calling out to the man that has just left her an envelope]
Elise: Alexander? Alexander?
[suddenly Frank shows up in front of her]
Elise: Frank!
[Acheson watches from above the ball room]
John Acheson: [to himself] I don’t bloody believe this!
[into his wire]
John Acheson: All right, get them all out of here.

[whilst dancing]
Elise: You shouldn’t be here.
Frank Tupelo: No, Elise. This is the one place on earth I should be.
Elise: How did you get in here?
Frank Tupelo: I told the doorman you were my wife and I wanted to keep an eye on you. Italians are big on that kind of thing.
Elise: Leave.
Frank Tupelo: No.

Frank Tupelo: Do you like the suite? You paid for it. I’ve been thinking about your friend Pearce and his plan, and so far I’m thinking it hasn’t worked out for him.
Elise: No?
Frank Tupelo: No. Take that gangster guy.
Elise: Shaw?
Frank Tupelo: Yeah, Shaw. I don’t believe that Pearce was prepared for him being here, the whole chase.
Elise: Will you please leave?
Frank Tupelo: You’re kind of worried about me, aren’t you?
Elise: Yes.
Frank Tupelo: And I’m worried about you.
Elise: Frank?
Frank Tupelo: And I’m not leaving without you.
Elise: You were part of a plan. You were useful. That’s all. What do you think? I saw you on the train and my heart stopped? Leave.
[she stops dancing and walks away from him]

[Elise gets into her boat]
Elise:[to the driver] Fondamenta San Giancoma 23, please.
[into his wire]
John Acheson: Okay good, we have the address. I’m going to follow her on the boat. I want snipers on all surrounding roofs and if you get a visual on Pearce, call.

[Frank is sitting handcuffed in the police surveillance boat, Acheson takes off the cloth bag from his head]
Frank Tupelo: Who are you people? Where are we going?
John Acheson: Well, I don’t know, Alexander. Where are we going?
Frank Tupelo: I’m not Alexander. My name is Frank Tupelo, I’m an American citizen and I have rights.
John Acheson: I don’t care what you call yourself these days. Your name is Alexander Pearce and you have no rights. Until you pay us seven hundred and forty four million back taxes.
Frank Tupelo: Seven hundred and forty four million?

John Acheson: Yes, seven hundred and forty four million. You didn’t think we knew about that bank account in Liechtenstein.
Frank Tupelo: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
John Acheson: Listen, you asshole, I know everything about you. I even know how much that face cost. Twenty four million wired to a Brazilian surgeon from a numbered Swiss bank account. I haven’t been able to prove it. But now I don’t have to, because I’ll just lock you in a box in a basement until you tell me where the money is.
[Frank looks scared and then suddenly Acheson starts to laugh]
John Acheson: It’s all right. It’s all right, Frank. I know you’re not Alexander Pearce, but you know who you are? You’re a moron! And you’re a moron that almost ruined my eight million pounds sting operation. Twice! So you’re going to stay here until this is all over.
Please, you can’t do this. I haven’t done anything. I shouldn’t be here.
Know what I think? I think that this is the one place on earth you really should be. How was your night in the hotel? Huh? She’s quite something, I’m sure.

[to Elise]
Reginald Shaw: Magnificent. I’ve never really understood the love that people devote to each other. Money, yes. Possessions, yes. But people are so unreliable, they sicken, decay and die. But this, this is worth dying for.

[looking at the surveillance TV showing Elise being held by Reginald Shaw and his men]
Frank Tupelo: When are you going in?
John Acheson: You’re welcome to stay and watch, if you can keep your mouth shut!

[to Elise]
Reginald Shaw: You know, Alexander was like a son to me. I loved him. That brilliant, playful, disrespectful young bastard. I even thought that he and I were two of a kind. Oh, I took great pleasure in never knowing what this man would do next. Until one day what he did next didn’t give me any pleasure at all. You know, in our quaint legal system if a man sleeps with my wife, I kill him and her, I get away scot free. Crime of passion is what it’s called. But my passion extends to all the things I own. They are me. They represent me. So if a man steals from me, I kill him, I kill his wife, his children, his mother, I might even throw in the family doctor for good measure. For he has taken from me something for which I have paid the infinite price. My soul.
[his bodyguards laugh]
Reginald Shaw: That’s something that these idiots will never understand.

Reginald Shaw: He’s not coming, is he? He sent you to get the money.
[Elise slowly shakes her head]
Reginald Shaw: So, where is it? Where is my money? Where is the safe?
Elise: I don’t know.
Reginald Shaw: Where is the safe?
Elise: I don’t know.
Reginald Shaw: You don’t know.

[to Acheson as he watches Elise getting slapped by Shaw]
Frank Tupelo: Please you have to do something!
Sniper Chief Giordani: Permission to fire.
[to snipers speaking into the walkie talkie]
John Acheson: Hold your fire. I repeat hold your fire. Not until Pearce shows himself.

Reginald Shaw: You’re so beautiful, Elise. Now try to combine it with a little intelligence and tell me where the safe is?
Elise: If I knew it, I would tell you.

Frank Tupelo: You have to go in. They’re going to kill her!
John Acheson: [to his men] Where’s my interpreter?
Frank Tupelo: They’re going to kill her!
John Acheson: She can handle herself.
Frank Tupelo: She can handle herself?
John Acheson: She’s one of us. Expert in undercover operations. But when I sent her to Russia to find Pearce, she went dark. I think she could never quite decide if she was with him or with us. She’s a good agent. Accept she invariably falls in love with any man that she spends longer than a train ride with.

[holding a knife to Elise’s face]
Reginald Shaw: Now if you don’t tell me where the safe is, I might be tempted to rearrange your face somewhat. You’ll find life is not quite so giving to an ugly woman.
[he moves the blade of the knife over her mouth]
Reginald Shaw: You really don’t know do you?
[he lets her go looks at one of his men and then suddenly grabs hold of her head again]
Elise: There! Behind the medallion. There.
[looking at the medallion statue on the wall opposite]

Sniper Chief Giordani: There is movement in the court yard
[Acheson looks at the TV surveillance and sees a man in a white evening jacket]
John Acheson: Pearce, I knew it!
[he looks closely and sees the man resembles Frank]
John Acheson: You know what? He does look a little like you.
[he suddenly turns to see Frank has escaped and realizes it is Frank]
John Acheson: No!

Frank Tupelo: Let her go.
[Shaw’s men all point their guns at Frank]
Elise: Oh, my god!
Frank Tupelo: If you let her leave I’ll open the safe.
Virginsky: Stop right there!
Elise: Frank, what in hell?!
Frank Tupelo: Please, Elise. Let me handle this. I’ll say it again, if you let her go I’ll open the safe.
Reginald Shaw: Who the hell are you?
Frank Tupelo: I’m Alexander Pearce.

[to Shaw]
Elise: He’s not Alexander Pearce.
Frank Tupelo: Elise, please.
Elise: What the hell are you doing?

[watching Frank on the surveillance camera]
John Acheson: What the hell is he doing?
Sniper Chief Giordani: Permission to engage target.
[into the walkie talkie]
John Acheson: Shut the hell up!

[walking up to Frank]
Reginald Shaw: Alexander, is it you? Truly?
Frank Tupelo: Truly.
Reginald Shaw: Show me your teeth?
[Franks shows his teeth]
Reginald Shaw: Alexander had crooked teeth. Stained from excessive smoking.
Frank Tupelo: Braces. Electronic cigarettes.
Reginald Shaw: He had a higher forehead.
Frank Tupelo: I had a migraine for two weeks after the remodel.

Reginald Shaw: You sound different.
Frank Tupelo: Voice chip implant.
Reginald Shaw: No, no. I mean the way you speak.
Elise: Yes, that’s right. Alexander was English. This man is American.
[Frank replies in an English accent]
Frank Tupelo: I’ve actually gotten so used to the American accent that I find it a tad difficult to go back.
Elise: That’s pathetic. This man is not Alexander Pearce. He’s a tourist!
Reginald Shaw: A tourist?
Elise: Someone I happen to sit next to on a train.
Frank Tupelo: How would a tourist know that you killed every man your wife ever slept with?
Elise: I told him that.
Reginald Shaw: You, told a tourist.
Frank Tupelo: Why would she do that? It’s absurd.
Reginald Shaw: Well, there’s a simple way of finding out. Open the safe.
Frank Tupelo: I’ve made you a deal. When she’s gone.
Elise: What are you doing?
Frank Tupelo: And I know she’s safe, then.

Reginald Shaw: Well, I’ll make you an even better deal. Open the safe now and I won’t make you watch something that you would never forget.
[he walks towards Elise and hold up his knife]
Reginald Shaw: Open it!
Frank Tupelo: I see.
Elise: Now you see.

Sergente Cerato: Sir?
John Acheson: I know him, he’ll come for her. I know him, he won’t give her up now.
Sniper Chief Giordani: We must engage. Permission to engage, sir?

[watching as Frank goes up through the safe]
John Acheson: He’ll come for her. He’ll come for her. This doesn’t make sense!
[Jones walks in and grabs hold of the walkie talkie]
Chief Inspector Jones: This is Chief Inspector Jones. Permission granted. Fire.

[after Shaw and his men have been killed by the snipers]
Chief Inspector Jones: You all right?
Elise: Yes.
Chief Inspector Jones: Agent Ward, your suspension’s lifted.
Elise: Thank you, sir.
Chief Inspector Jones: And your employment is terminated. Effective immediately.
Elise: Thank you, sir.

[Giordani speaks from the walkie talkie in Acheson’s hand]
Sniper Chief Giordani: We got him! We got Alexander Pearce.
John Acheson: Where?
Sniper Chief Giordani: On the Fondamenta. Three hundred meters south of your location.

Frank Tupelo: So you love me?
Elise: I do.
Frank Tupelo: How do you feel about Alexander Pearce these days?
Elise: I love him too, unfortunately.
Frank Tupelo: I may have a solution for you.
[he opens the safe and turns to look at her]
Frank Tupelo: Are you with me this time?
[Elise kisses him]

[police are holding a man they think is Alexander Pearce]
The Englishman: I’m just a tourist.
[Jones looks at his passport]
The Englishman: Just a tourist. He said I might get arrested at some point
John Acheson: What?
The Englishman: But then you’d have to let me go because you have nothing on me.
Chief Inspector Jones: Who?
The Englishman: The man that’s been sending me these texts.
John Acheson: Texts?
The Englishman: And the money of course.
[Acheson takes the man’s cell phone and looks at the text messages]
John Acheson: Let me get this straight, because I’m a little confused. You receive money from a man you’ve never met before, who sends you text messages telling you just to show up somewhere?
[referring to Venice]
The Englishman: Well, not just anywhere.

[after blowing up the safe that Frank had opened earlier, they find a check. Jones reads the amount]
Chief Inspector Jones: Seven hundred and forty four million.
[smiling he puts the check in his pocket]
Chief Inspector Jones: Inspector Acheson, this operation is now officially terminated. I’ll expect your report on Monday.
John Acheson: Sir, listen…
Chief Inspector Jones: We have our money, Acheson.
John Acheson: But we don’t Pearce. The man’s a criminal, wanted in fourteen countries.
Chief Inspector Jones: But what is it he did? Really? He stole money from a gangster, a dead gangster. And he has good taste in women. I can’t say I don’t wish him well.

[last lines]
Elise: Twenty million dollars worth of plastic surgery, and that’s the face you choose?
Frank Tupelo: Do you not like it?
[she smiles at him]
Elise: It’ll do.

Total Quotes: 75

The Tourist Quotes – ‘Why is everyone trying to kill me?’

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