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Starring: Nicolas Cage, Pedro Pascal, Neil Patrick Harris, Tiffany Haddish, Sharon Horgan, Ike Barinholtz, Alessandra Mastronardi, Jacob Scipio, Lily Sheen
OUR RATING: ★★★½
Action comedy directed and co-written by Tom Gormican. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) follows the fictionalized version of Nicolas Cage, who is feeling creatively unfulfilled and facing financial ruin, begrudgingly accepts to make a paid appearance at a billionaire super fan’s, Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal), birthday party. Things take an unexpected turn when Cage is recruited by a CIA operative, Vivian (Tiffany Haddish), and forced to live up to his own legend, channeling his most iconic and beloved on-screen characters in order to save himself and his loved ones.
Our Favorite Quotes:'It's just a matter of time before the great power plant upstairs turns off the juice and we retreat to the black pit of nothingness from whence we came.' - Nick Cage (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) Click To Tweet
Nick Cage: Well, you know what? I’m going to read. “It’s a foregone conclusion, Jimmy. It takes thirteen milliseconds for the human brain to send a message to the body. So, by the time your bullets hit me, my cerebral cortex will have transmitted a signal to the seventeen healthy muscles that operate my trigger finger. And before your a**hole has had a chance to pucker up, your medulla oblongata will be splattered on a f***ing wall behind you. And if that’s the last thing I accomplish on this beautiful green Earth, well, then, ha, I say, ha, what a way to f***ing go.”
Director: Holy s**t.
Nick Cage: I can do another if you want.
Nicky: Because, honestly, man, you really need this.
Nick Cage: What? What is that supposed to mean?
Nicky: You get it. This could be a game changer.
Nick Cage: I don’t need a game changer. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, I’ll just keep working. That’s what I do.
Nicky: I’m just saying, you could be a little more strategic. Make more movie star choices. It’s like Miles Davis told me, “Sometimes, it’s the notes you don’t play.”
Nick Cage: Miles Davis was a heroin addict. I mean, I love him, he was a maestro, but I’m happy. I’m healthy when I’m working. I’m an actor.
Nicky: No, you’re a f***ing movie star! And don’t you ever forget that!
Nick Cage: I need this. This could be a game changer.
Therapist: So, you’re not happy with how your career is going, because you seem to be working all the time.
Nick Cage: Well, I never viewed it as a career, only as work. And what’s wrong with that? I mean, in any other job, hard work is something to behold. But with film performance, “You’re making too many movies, Nick. You’re working too hard, Nick. Have the audience miss you more, Nick.” I mean, “Hello, it’s my job. I pay my bills. I feed my family. You’re annoying.”
Therapist: So, what’s the worry here, Nick? You’ve lost some of your ability, your talent as an actor?
Nick Cage: No. No, it’s just that I really want this. This is the role of a lifetime. It’s a great part.
Therapist: Addy, how do you think your dad’s anxiety over his career has affected you?
Addy Cage: Well, his career is pretty much the only thing we talk about. That or he makes me watch old movies, and then discuss them. Which is really just him lecturing me for two hours.
Nick Cage: It’s a conversation. It’s more of a conversation.
Olivia: What happened?
Nick Cage: Oh, she’s mad at me because we watched Cabinet of Dr. Caligari together, and she hated it, which I find odd, given how mature her taste normally is.
Olivia: Wait, you’re surprised your teenage daughter didn’t want to watch an insane one hundred year-old German film with you?
Nick Cage: Yes.
Nick Cage: You know, she’s never read Mary Shelley, or Jane Austen, or even Twain.
Olivia: What a little philistine. Should we disown her?
Nick Cage: She thought Humphrey Bogart was a porn star.
Olivia: Yeah. Oh, what, really?
Nick Cage: Yeah.
Olivia: That’s disappointing. Unless there is a porn star called Humphrey Bogart. That would work, wouldn’t it? Humphrey. Hump. No?
Richard Fink: So, Nick, we got another offer. Just came in this morning.
Nick Cage: Excellent. What’s it about?
Richard Fink: It’s about a million bucks.
Nick Cage: What is it?
'You have a gift. And that gift brings light and joy to an increasingly dark and broken world! And to turn your back on that gift, is to turn your back on the entire human race.' - Javi Gutierrez Click To Tweet
Nick Cage: A birthday party, Fink? What are you even talking about?
Richard Fink: You go, and I don’t know, tell some stories, make them laugh.
Nick Cage: Make them laugh? Like a circus clown? A trained seal?
Richard Fink: Nick, I got a call from your business manager, Kenny. You’ve been living at the Sunset Tower for over a year.
Nick Cage: And so? They love having me there.
Richard Fink: You owe them six hundred thousand dollars. They sent the bills to Kenny.
Nick Cage: I’ll take care of it.
Richard Fink: Kenny says you still have substantial debts. And now, the divorce, and your spending habits, and…
Nick Cage: Okay, I’m going to deal with all that, Fink. You know I will. But I’m going to get this next role. And when I do, all of that changes. Then, I’m back. And, by the way, not that I went anywhere.
Richard Fink: Not that you went anywhere.
Nick Cage: You never s**t on yourself.
Nick Cage: [over phone, referring to the director] What did he say?
Richard Fink: He said he loves you, but he ultimately went in a different direction for the role. Sorry, dude.
Nick Cage: [to Addy] I’m so excited to see what you do with your life, honey. And I’ll support whatever you choose. Only, I wouldn’t recommend a life in the arts. Especially, with how real talent goes unappreciated in this s**thole town.
Olivia: I need you.
Nick Cage: You need me?
Olivia: [referring to Addy] I need you to get your s**t together, Nick. Okay? She’s not two years old anymore. She is a smart girl who needs her dad. She doesn’t need this guy.
Nick Cage: [over phone] The Majorca thing…
Richard Fink: What? The birthday party? So depressing. I am honestly sorry for even bringing it up.
Nick Cage: I’ll take it.
Richard Fink: It’s going to be great.
Nick Cage: It better be, because when it’s over, I’m done. Like hot dogs on a grill.
Nick Cage: [over phone] I’m quitting acting. So, you can call the trades, and tell them I said it was a tremendous honor to be a small part of one of the oldest of human traditions, storytelling, and mythmaking.
Richard Fink: Ah, f***, man. I’m sorry. I’m driving through the hills. One more time.
Vivian: [over phone] Martin, talk to me. Who’s on the plane?
Martin: I don’t know if I’m losing my goddamn mind, but I’m pretty sure that’s the actor Nick Cage.
Vivian: That m**herf***er from Moonstruck?
Martin: Moonstruck? No. From Face/Off!
Vivian: Nicolas Cage! Oh, my God! You’re so f***ing awesome! I love you!
Nick Cage: Oh, thank you.
Vivian: Oh, me and my nephew Raymond, just watched Croods 2. Dude! Cracked us up. Can I get a selfie?
Vivian: [over phone] Have you seen Croods 2?
Martin: No! I’m forty-four years-old! Why the f*** would I see Croods 2?
'Nick Cage smooches good!' - Nicky (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) Click To Tweet
Nick Cage: [over phone] I mean, what do we know about this guy anyway? Is he a Spanish Dr. No? Is he into something strange?
Richard Fink: Allan did some research. Hold on. Allan, what does this guy do?
Allan: He owns olive groves apparently. Also, he wrote this screenplay, and he wants Nick to star in it.
Richard Fink: Throw that in the f***ing trash. Nick, you’re fine. It’s not like he’s going to want you to suck his d**k, or f*** his wife, or watch you watch him f*** his wife.
Nick Cage: I wouldn’t think so.
Richard Fink: Relax. Have fun, and give me a call when it’s done. You can tell me all about it.
Nick Cage: The guy that owns this house, what’s his name?
Javi Gutierrez: Javi.
Nick Cage: Yeah, Javi. Is Javi going to want me to, you know?
Javi Gutierrez: I’m not sure I understand.
Nick Cage: Look, if Javi wants me to suck his d**k, or f*** his wife, or watch me watch him f*** his wife, that’s a no-go. You understand? It’s no bueno.
Javi Gutierrez: I think so.
Nick Cage: Okay. And if Javi…
Javi Gutierrez: I am Javi.
Nick Cage: [pauses, then does the fist and palm salute] Nick Cage.
Javi Gutierrez: [referring to Cage] He was incredible.
Gabriela: Was he?
Javi Gutierrez: But also like super cool. He was a little taller than I had imagined, because you know they say actors are pretty short.
Gabriela: So, was he short?
Javi Gutierrez: No.
Javi Gutierrez: He was just right.
Gabriela: What are you working on next?
Nick Cage: Well, that’s a tough question for an actor to get, but it’s fine. Because I’m no longer an actor. I’ve retired.
Javi Gutierrez: What? What do you mean, retired?
Lucas Gutierrez: So, what are you going to do now?
Nick Cage: Live the life of a house cat. Because it’s just a matter of time before the great power plant upstairs turns off the juice and we retreat to the black pit of nothingness from whence we came.
Gabriela: So, tell us about making The Rock.
Lucas Gutierrez: Bet you wish you were still making movies like that, huh, Mr. Cage?
Must have been nice to have been a star. And now…
Gabriela: Mr. Cage. If Mr. Gutierrez is asking you to go with him and see the cliffs, you’re going to go with him and see the cliffs. And you’re going to love the cliffs. Even if you hate the cliffs! Are we clear?
Nick Cage: Stop! I am your guest! Gabriela ripped the bedspread off me this morning! Now you’re sending me on like a wild goose chase!
Javi Gutierrez: I’m sorry. But you can’t stop acting! You can’t!
Nick Cage: That’s none of your business.
Javi Gutierrez: Whether you like it or not, you have a gift. And that gift brings light and joy to an increasingly dark and broken world! And to turn your back on that gift, is to turn your back on the entire human race.
Nick Cage: The human race?
Javi Gutierrez: I’m afraid so.
Nick Cage: [as they jump off the cliff] I didn’t know there was a cliff! I didn’t know it was that high! We could have died!
Javi Gutierrez: How did you meet Olivia?
Nick Cage: She was a make-up artist on Captain Corelli’s Mandolin.
Javi Gutierrez: Beautiful film.
Nick Cage: Thank you. Underrated for sure.
'I should always trust my shamanic instincts as a thespian.' - Nick Cage (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) Click To Tweet
Javi Gutierrez: Mr. Cage, what is your favorite movie?
Nick Cage: Oh, favorite movie? Oh, wow! I mean, that’s one of those questions that’s impossible to answer. Because, you see, a hundred plus years of rich cinema. You can’t just limit it to one. It depends upon your mood, the seasons.
Nick Cage: What is your third favorite movie of all time?
Javi Gutierrez: Paddington 2.
Nick Cage: What?! Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Paddington 2. Connect those dots. I mean, I don’t want to be a snob, but…
Javi Gutierrez: I cried through the entire thing. It made me want to be a better man.
Nick Cage: Bulls**t, man!
Nick Cage: [as he’s crying watching the movie] Paddington 2 is incredible.
Javi Gutierrez: I f***ing told you.
Nick Cage: Oh. Hey, Nicky.
Nicky: So, you’re unretired then?
Nick Cage: That’s the idea.
Nicky: Javi inspired you, did he? You like this guy?
Nick Cage: He has good taste in movies. Plus, it could be good for me to do some smaller roles with great directors. Some challenging character work.
Nicky: So, like what? The gay uncle in the next Duplass Brothers movie kind of thing?
Nick Cage: Exactly.
Nicky: What the f*** are you talking about?! We haven’t worked since you were fifteen, forty-one years, to be number seven on a call sheet of a goddamn student film.
Nicky: You listen to me. You’re Nick f***ing Cage! Addy doesn’t need a struggling artist for a father. She needs you to be a star. Now you get the next one, baby, and we’re back.
Nick Cage: Not that we went anywhere.
Nicky: Not that we went anywhere.
Nicky: Yeah, Nick Cage smooches good. You tell them! Nick Cage smooches good!
Vivian: Mr. Cage, we’re with the US Government. We need your help.
Martin: The man you’re staying with is the head of a violent international arms cartel.
Nick Cage: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Javi?
Vivian: He’s a ruthless m**herf***er.
Nick Cage: So, you’re CIA, some kind of intelligence, right? And your job is to read people, yeah? Well, as a thespian, that is also my job. To understand people’s characters, to feel what they’re feeling. Which is how I know that Javi is not a gun dealer.
Martin: You’re saying your acting ability trumps five years of hard data collected by the world’s finest intelligence agency?
Nick Cage: My nouveau shamanic acting ability? You better f***ing believe it.
Martin: Oh! Hey, guys, this sucks. Nicolas Cage’s nouveau shamanic acting ability has determined that we got the wrong guy. So, let’s pack up our s**t and f***ing go home.
Vivian: [to Cage] Hey, man, don’t mind him. He’s all messed up inside. He just found out his wife’s been f***ing his dad.
Martin: That’s not all the way true.
Nick Cage: So, you want me to, what? Spy on Javi?
Nick Cage: Yeah, I’m not doing that.
Vivian: [over earpiece] Okay, Nick, there’s a window to your left. Go out that window, get outside, go across the ledge, okay? Scoot across the ledge, and then climb into the security room window.
Martin: What the f*** is wrong with you? He’s three stories up. He’s stoned out of his mind.
Vivian: [over earpiece] Do it now, Nick! Now! He’s getting closer.
Martin: He’s f***ing dead. He’s dead.
Nick Cage: Martin, I can hear you.
Martin: You know, I really enjoyed working for the CIA. Can’t wait to move back home and work at f***ing Sonic.
Nick Cage: [over earpiece] I can’t move.
Vivian: Then you’re going to die. Do you want to die tonight? This is not how you die.
Martin: I think it is.
Nick Cage: [over earpiece] You know, it didn’t feel great betraying Javi like that. Especially, since I’m still not convinced he’s your guy. But the strange thing is, I can see myself doing more of this stuff. You know, spycraft. Subterfuge. What have you. I think I might have a real gift for it.
Vivian: Good, because we got another mission for you.
Nick Cage: No, no, no, no, no! F*** that! It was terrifying.
Javi Gutierrez: [referring to his father] But when he got sick, I realized I didn’t want to lose him before we could repair our broken relationship. But I didn’t know how. And then, one day, about a week before he died, it happened. A miracle. I looked up, and I saw on a tiny little hospital TV, Guarding Tess. We disagreed about literally everything, my father and I. Except for this movie. We both loved it. We would quote it back and forth. In a way, my father was Tess. The former First Lady. And I was Doug Chesnic. The Secret Service agent charged with taking care of him. That movie brought us together.
Javi Gutierrez: I bet you didn’t know Doug Chesnic could have such an impact on someone.
Nick Cage: Well, Doug was a complicated guy. He had competing allegiances, and sometimes, being in the skin of a character like that can take its toll.
Javi Gutierrez: Well, thank you for your sacrifice. It was extraordinary.
Javi Gutierrez: I realized that if we are going to create a work of art, we can’t just sit and stare at a screen. We have to open our minds to the infinite possibilities of what the cosmos has to offer.
Nick Cage: What have you got there?
Javi Gutierrez: Divine inspiration. LSD.
Javi Gutierrez: [to Cage] And maybe it’s just the drugs talking, but what if we had like a big drug scene?
Javi Gutierrez: In terms of genre, I like comedies. But not when it’s just two people sitting around talking.
Nick Cage: Oh, man, I can’t stand talkie comedies. You got to have some plot to drive it forward.
Nick Cage: Grab my hand. Grab it!
Nick Cage: [as Cage tries to lift Javi] You’re heavier than you look.
Javi Gutierrez: I have a very big head.
Nick Cage: Enormous. An enormous head.
Javi Gutierrez: You go live a good life.
Nick Cage: I’m not going anywhere without you! Now, grab my hand, soldier!
Javi Gutierrez: But then, we will both die, and I could never live with myself after that. So you let go! You let go! Goodbye, Nicolas Cage.
Nick Cage: I’ll never forget you, Javs.
Javi Gutierrez: I’ll never forget you. Now, you get the hell out of here. You go!
Javi Gutierrez: [after Cage goes over the wall] Mr. Cage?
Nick Cage: Javi? Buddy!
Javi Gutierrez: Hey.
Nick Cage: Where did you come from?
Javi Gutierrez: Oh. Yeah. Turns out we could have just walked around.
Nick Cage: Yeah. I guess so, huh?
Javi Gutierrez: Whatever.
Javi Gutierrez: You are a better driver than me.
Nick Cage: How do you know that?
Javi Gutierrez: Because I read that you did all of your own driving stunts in Gone in 60 Seconds.
Nick Cage: Well, that’s true. I popped some good wheelies, right?
Javi Gutierrez: The wheelies are amazing. Now drive the car! They’re coming! Let’s go!
Nick Cage: [as Javi shows him his collection of film memorabilia] Is that the chainsaw from Mandy?
Javi Gutierrez: Mandy is a masterpiece.
Nick Cage: [referring to the statue] Is this supposed to be me? It’s grotesque.
Javi Gutierrez: Just look at the guns.
Nick Cage: If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you pay for this disturbing statue?
Javi Gutierrez: About six thousand.
Nick Cage: I’ll give you twenty thousand for it.
Nick Cage: [to Vivian] Bad news. Girl’s not there. Good news. Script’s cooking. Feels like Cassavetes meets Inarritu with a dash of Von Trier.
Nick Cage: [referring to his and Javi’s script] Vivian, this is a grounded, adult drama about two tough, sensitive men and their unlikely friendship. They’re kind of like dueling Christ figures. Which is obviously a pretty revolutionary idea in itself. But what is not a revolutionary idea is a kidnapping. And if I bring that into the mix, Javi’s going to know something’s up. He’s a hardliner for tone, and this mission will be blown. Okay?
Vivian: Jesus f***ing Christ!
Vivian: [referring to Cage and Javi’s script] You know, Nick, I think a kidnapping could give this movie a wider appeal. I mean, it’s pretty hard to find an audience these days, right?
Nick Cage: Unless you’re a Marvel movie, Star Wars, whatever, yeah.
Vivian: Yeah, doesn’t sound like this is that.
Nick Cage: No, Vivian, it isn’t. This is an intelligent film for grown-ups.
Vivian: Now, personally, I want a smart, character-driven, adult drama about real life, real people. But the reality is, most people need a bit of a hook to get them into the theater.
Nick Cage: Okay, now you’re talking about marketing. And if you’re talking about marketing, then, yes, you do need a hook to get them into the theater.
Vivian: Well, get them into the theater. Come on. All you need is a trailer moment.
Javi Gutierrez: You know the key to shooting well? Controlling your breath. And you know how to control your breath, Nick? Your heart. Your heart must be still. At peace. My heart is not still. My heart is not at peace. Do you know why?
Nick Cage: Hey, Javi. If you’re not going to shoot, maybe hand me the gun?
Javi Gutierrez: Because you’re lying to me.
Nick Cage: What?
Javi Gutierrez: Don’t f***ing lie to me.
Nick Cage: I’m not!
Addy Cage: Are you dying, Dad?
Javi Gutierrez: Yes.
Addy Cage: Oh, my God.
Javi Gutierrez: Creatively.
Olivia: Oh, come on.
Javi Gutierrez: No, physically, he is tremendous. I mean, he will probably outlive us all.
Addy Cage: [to Cage] So, you’re not even sick?
Javi Gutierrez: Look, I have grown to care very deeply about your father. And ex-husband. We are working on a movie together. A beautiful character-driven, adult drama. But he has so many unresolved issues with you that it is beginning to bleed into the work in a negative way. Isn’t that right, Nick?
Olivia: Are you both out of your f***ing minds?
Javi Gutierrez: Well, you see, he has so many regrets.
Olivia: Yeah. Well, here is another one to add to the list. We’ve been on a plane. All day! I had to cancel clients. We were panicking because we couldn’t find anyone to feed the cats. You know, they could be dead by the time we get home after this bulls**t. House smelling like a dead cat. That’s great. That’s fun.
Javi Gutierrez: Well, I had a cat die in the kitchen once. And my grandmother was never able to get rid of the smell.
Nick Cage: Would either of you have wanted to prevent me from living my artistic dreams? Because I sure know I wouldn’t have wanted that for either of you.
Olivia: We flew to Majorca for that?
Javi Gutierrez: Wow. That was f***ing pathetic.
Addy Cage: God, it really was, wasn’t it?
Javi Gutierrez: No, no, no. I am honestly speechless.
Olivia: Really? Because this s**t, you get used to it.
Addy Cage: Yeah, that’s pretty much par for the course.
Olivia: What the f*** is happening?
Nick Cage: Okay. I’m going to tell you something, but please don’t freak out. I’m working for the CIA.
Olivia: Are you having a nervous breakdown?
Nick Cage: Probably. But I’m telling you the truth.
Nick Cage: They wanted some information on Javi’s business dealings so I’ve been helping them. And the strange thing is, it does kind of make sense given that so much of acting is like spying.
Olivia: Do you have any idea how this sounds? Because I mean, it’s not good.
Nick Cage: [after Luke orders Javi to kill Cage] You brought me out here to kill me, man?
Javi Gutierrez: I’m sorry, Nick.
Nick Cage: [pulls out the two golden guns] So am I. Because you pull that trigger and we’re both dead.
Javi Gutierrez: Wait. You were going to kill me? And are those my golden guns?
Nick Cage: They’re my golden guns. And it looks like we both had a little secret, doesn’t it?
Nick Cage: You’re into Gabriela?
Javi Gutierrez: Are you f***ing kidding me? I can’t be with Gabriella, because that would put a target on her back. Wait, you seriously didn’t realize that we liked each other? You’re in the CIA!
Nick Cage: I’m not in the CIA. I’m a goddamn actor. You know that. The only organization I’m a part of is the Screen Actors Guild of America. And AFTRA. But I don’t even know what that is. I think it’s a radio thing.
Javi Gutierrez: I don’t want to kill you.
Nick Cage: You’re the last person I want to kill.
Javi Gutierrez: I f***ing love you!
Nick Cage: I love you!
Javi Gutierrez: [as they’re being shot at] It’s my cousin. He must have known I wouldn’t kill you.
Nick Cage: I thought so. Which is why I should always trust my shamanic instincts as a thespian.
Javi Gutierrez: Okay. You just run out there. You get the truck. You come back and get me. I will keep a lookout.
Nick Cage: Uh-huh. Love it. Love the plan. But given that you’ve saddled me with what basically amounts to f***ing penny loafers, maybe you should go, and I’ll stay here.
Javi Gutierrez: I love that plan. I do. But you are a faster runner than me, even with subpar footwear. I saw how fast you were in National Treasure.
Nick Cage: No, that’d be the stunt department.
Javi Gutierrez: Not according to the “Making Of” featurette.
Nick Cage: Fine, I’ll go.
Javi Gutierrez: Wait! So, you’re going to go? I’m going with you.
Nicky: You need to know who you are, Nick. This isn’t a role. You’re not a hero. You’re just some guy who’s about to get us killed. You f***ing idiot!
Olivia: [referring to Lucas] I mean, this psychopath is going to kill our daughter in twelve hours. So, what the f*** are we going to do?
Javi Gutierrez: We are going to walk straight in through the front gate.
Nick Cage: Okay, cool. Very dramatic answer.
Lucas Gutierrez: Here’s what I know, Nick Cage. I’ve got four guys with guns pointed directly at your head.
Nick Cage: Yeah, that’s true. But here’s what I know. My family’s safe. And that’s all that matters.
Nick Cage: [referring to Lucas] Addy, did he hurt you?
Olivia: Better not have.
Addy Cage: No.
Nick Cage: Are you hungry?
Addy Cage: No.
Nick Cage: Javi has apples. You want a McIntosh? Honeycrisp?
Olivia: No apples, Nick!
Movie Actress Olivia: We made it, Nick. We made it.
Nick Cage: All of us.
Movie Actress Addy: I love you, Daddy.
Richard Fink: [after watching Cage and Javi’s movie] We’re back.
Nick Cage: Not that we went anywhere.
Nick Cage: [referring to his belt] You know my dresser, Jeff. Mr. Neiman Marcus? He wanted me to wear a bee. And I said, “Jeff, not the bees. Not the bees” So, he said, “Well, how about a scorpion?” I said, “I think a scorpion is a little aggressive, Jeff. “What about a tarantula?” He goes, “Well, I don’t think that’s any less aggressive, Nick.” And I say, “Well, it is to me.” They’re cute and fuzzy, right?
Addy Cage: Who chose Demi Moore to play Mom?
Nick Cage: Studio. But it doesn’t really do your mother justice, does it?
Olivia: Oh, come on. She’s gorgeous.
Nick Cage: So are you, Olivia.
Addy Cage: Ew, Dad, stop hitting on Mom.
Nick Cage: I’m not hitting on her.
Addy Cage: Oh, gross. I don’t want to listen to this anymore.
Nicky: You’re Nick, f***ing! Wooh, Cage!