Starring: Chloë Grace Moretz, Michael Peña, Rob Delaney, Colin Jost, Ken Jeong, Pallavi Sharda
OUR RATING: ★★½
Live-action and animated comedy directed by Tim Story, based on the classic animated series by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. The story follows the mischievous mouse, Jerry, who has taken up residence in New York City’s finest hotel, forcing a new employee, Kayla (Chloë Grace Moretz), to hire the alley cat, Tom, to get rid of him in an attempt to secure her job. However, the ensuing cat and mouse battle threatens to destroy her career, and possibly the hotel itself.
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Real Estate Rat: [to Jerry] Oh, we’ve been at this all day, buddy. I get it. Those other spots didn’t float your boat, but wait until you see this next place. It screams mouse house. Wait, can I say that? Is that copyrighted?
Real Estate Rat: [to Jerry] It’s got everything. Built-in stereo, but be careful, those seats are very flammable. I’m kidding. I’m not kidding.
Real Estate Rat: Jerry, baby, I know it’s no beauty. But let’s be honest here, with your budget, this is all you can… Hey! You don’t just Batman me. You haven’t even seen the trunk yet.
Passing Child: [referring to Tom] Look, dad. That blind cat’s playing piano. Passing Father: There’s a lot of weird stuff in this city. You just got to keep walking.
Kayla: Suspended? Why? Job Hopper Supervisor: For starters, the hundred pounds of underwear strewn up Fifth Avenue. Kayla: Oh, come on. You can’t blame me for that. That was a cat-and-mouse situation, and everyone knows you just don’t get involved.
Kayla: And I assume that that’s the aquatics manager? Terence: That’s Goldie. She has no official position at the hotel. That’s a fish.
Mr. Dubros: It’s not often we come across a resume this distinguished. Kayla: Excuse me, but this, this is just a piece of paper. If I’m going to be worthy of this institution, you need to see me in action. [she rips the resume and tosses up into the air] Terence: Are you going to pick it up, or just leave it there? Kayla: Yes, sir.
Terence: [referring to Kayla] She thought the fish was the head of the department. Mr. Dubros: Really? Terence: A fish can’t even walk. It can’t even… Mr. Dubros: Terence. Terence: [to Kayla] You’re hired.
Terence: This place has been host to four presidents, three popes, two kings, one queen. Oh, and Drake.
Chef Jackie: Look alive, people. Why do you hate me? Who butchered these onions? Who? Oh, I don’t know. Francois?
Terence: [referring to Chef Jackie] He’s a bit tricky, but he’s an artist. And we’re lucky to have him. And some people may see anger, but me? No, no, no, no, no, no. I see passion.
Terence: This is Gavin, our doorman. Master of small talk.
Terence: That’s Joy, the bell girl. I’m convinced she was raised by wolves. Kayla: What? Terence: She’s not important.
Ben: All I care about in the whole world is that you’re happy. Think your dad’s going to like it? Preeta: You keep asking what my dad thinks. I’m going to send him on the honeymoon with you.
Preeta: [referring to her cat] Wow, you’re really good with animals. Toots is usually really shy. And by “shy”, I mean, she scratches people’s faces off. Kayla: Oh. Well, she can smell a bona fide animal lover.
Kayla: I just have to say, I follow you guys on Instagram, and you are the cutest couple ever. And that rock. Woh! Could see that thing from outer space. Good job. Ben: You know, you could see our love from outer space.
Terence: [as they hear a scream] Not to worry. That’s probably a scream of delight. You know, someone seeing their beautiful room for the first time. It happens all the time.
Chef Jackie: Leo is shaken to the core. The mouse ran right over his foot. Look, Terence, I’ve worked too frigging hard to be saddled with a bunch of inept, wonderful group of gifted colleagues, to have my career tossed into a fish bucket over some infestation.
Kayla: I’ll catch it, sir. Him. Or her. It could be a female. I’m not gender biased. And I don’t want to go by… Terence: No, no. It’s fine. Chef Jackie: It’s gender-fluid now. Kayla: The point is, I will catch that little mouse, and I will be discreet about it.
Terence: If a picture of this mouse is tweeted out to InstaBookFace, or the Ticky Tok, we will be ruined. Kayla: No, sir. We’re not ruined, because it’s not going to happen. Okay? So, you guys clear your heads about it. That Rodentia is toast.
Terence: I’m continuing to get noise complaints. Kayla: Yes, sir. Well, no, sir. I haven’t yet. But I’m on it. Over. Terence: Well, hurry up so you can get back to finding that mouse. And please, do not say, “Over.” This isn’t Star Trek. Kayla: It takes all the fun out of walkie-talkies. I mean, what’s the point, then? Terence: I can still hear you.
Kayla: [to Tom] Wait a second, I know you. I know you! You’re the cat from the park with the bike, and you tackled me. Is this personal? Is this some form of revenge sabotage? You’re trying to tell me something? Okay. Two syllables. One word. Is it a movie? Is it a cartoon? What’s this? A pig? A mouse? A little mouse? What? He was here too?
Kayla: [to Tom] Gosh, I got to catch that little disaster. If I don’t, I’m going to lose this job. Wait a second. You’re a cat. Can’t you catch a mouse? Isn’t that in your DNA?
Terence: Sir, I instructed her to get rid of an animal, not find another. Kayla: Here’s how I see it, sir. We have a mouse problem at this hotel. So we could hire an exterminator to have him tramp up and down this whole hotel, just filling it with his poison, and alerting Ben and Preeta to the possibility of vermin at their wedding. Or we could leverage millions of years of predatory-prey evolution, and choose a more subtle and eco-friendly solution. That’s why I brought on Tom.
Mr. Dubros: Word gets out that we’re thinking of hiring a cat, well, the mouse problem could leak. And if word gets out that we’re refusing to hire a cat? Well, PETA will be here before you can say “discriminatory practices”.
Mr. Dubros: [referring to Tom] Could he wear a hat? Kayla: Excuse me, sir? Mr. Dubros: Could he wear a jaunty hat? And perhaps a name tag? I think that would be adorable.
Terence: You’re one of those millennials, that thinks they can get whatever they want, whenever they want, without working for it, preferably with free shipping. Kayla: Who doesn’t like free shipping?
Terence: [to Kayla] This is a cutthroat two hundred dollar billion industry. And I’ve clawed my way all the way to the middle. And I don’t intend on stopping there. Okay? You better hope this little cat plan works. Because if it doesn’t, I’ll make sure you’ll never work in New York City again. And that goes for you too, Tom. Yes, you.
Kayla: [to Tom] I see you becoming the hunter feeling the hunted.
Kayla: [referring to Tom’s drawing of Jerry] Oh. Tom, that is a “wanted dead or alive.” And that is a stick figure of a mouse, and your Es are backwards. That’s never going to work.
Joy the Bell Girl: Well, have you checked the tiny little door on the tenth floor? At first, I thought, “Woh, Joy, you became really big. When did that happen?” But then I saw another door that was normal sized, and thought, “Okay, so one of your eyeballs got small.” But then I blinked a ton, and realized, “No, Joy. Just this door was really small.” So, I cut up a towel to make tiny little towels and left them here. But now they’re gone. Kayla: Thank you, Joy. You are a fascinating creature. Joy the Bell Girl: Me, fascinating? I like that.
Kayla: [as Jerry hands her a tiny card] What? You want me to grab it? Thank you. Oh, wow. This is so detailed. What kind of tiny printer, or… And it’s scented?
Kayla: I need this job. So, simply put, this is a hotel, and you’re a mouse. So you got to go. [Jerry shake his head] Kayla: Well, if that’s how you feel about it, I’ll have to introduce you to my enforcer.
Kayla: [to Jerry] You do not get to beat up my enforcer!
Ben: Can you ride a hamster? Terence: Oh, yes. I mean, as long as you have enough of them, you can ride them silly.
Ben: It’s got, you know, Wi-Fi. Preeta: Why does a skateboard need Wi-Fi? Ben: Why the fi not? Preeta: See what I’m dealing with?
[to the car as Spike is defecating in the middle of the road] Terence: Stop the beeping! You’re making him self-conscious!
Kayla: Say a VIP person lost a ring, and someone wanted to look for said ring without raising any eyebrows. Where would you say that person should look? Joy the Bell Girl: Oh, my God. I love riddles. Well, if I were that someone, but I’m not. But I could be. Who knows? One day. One can only dream. VIP. Sorry, back to the question. It would depend on the size of the object. Is it a car? Is it alive? Could it be a dog? I lose things all the time. I lost my baby brother last week. Don’t tell anyone, please.
Kayla: [as Tom is boarding up Jerry’s door] That is never going to keep out that minuscule sociopath.
Kayla: I am delighted to inform you that the job that we hired Tom for. It is completed. Mr. Dubros: Oh, wonderful. Now we just have to figure out how to let him go without triggering an equal employment issue. I should probably look into severance packages. Kayla: Right. Mr. Dubros: Maybe a month of tuna.
Mr. Dubros: If anything, the ceremony is the perfect test for a relationship. Because you can promise all you want in the vows. When it comes down to it, it’s how you handle the pressure of the planning. Some couples rise to the challenge, and others fall. I should write that down.
Kayla: So did Tom tell you the good news? The mouse problem has officially been handled. Cameron: Hey! She came, she saw, she exterminated.
Cameron: Terence, we’re celebrating, you know? The hotel’s mouse problem is taken care of. Terence: Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Teamwork is dream work, right?
Terence: [to Kayla] The mouse is in the pocket!
Terence: It’s an embarrassment to the hotel. And it’s an insult to you. That’s how serious this matter is, sir. Mr. Dubros: I agree. Terence, I’m placing you on leave. Terence: What?!
Mr. Dubros: But they did see you acting erratically towards Miss Forester after bringing the groom’s bulldog into a bar. Terence: She brought the kitty-cat to the bar too. Mr. Dubros: Tom is an employee. He has a name tag.
Terence: This is insane. I’m going insane right now. Mr. Dubros: Well, you’re certainly acting insane. You caused tens of thousands of dollars of damage to the hotel. You’ve terrified our guests. And now, you’re attempting to frame it as Kayla’s fault? Terence: You know what? You can’t do this. You can’t fire the event manager in the middle of an event.
Terence: [to Tom] Get your tail out of your ears. It’s disgusting.
Mr. Dubros: The only reason I felt comfortable asking Terence to take leave is because we have someone with your wealth of experience here. Kayla: With the what now?
Mr. Dubros: Do you think you can handle the role of interim event manager? Kayla: Are you kidding? Yes. Yes, of course. Mr. Dubros: It’s a massive endeavor. Kayla: Sir, “massive endeavor” is my middle name. It’s Judith, but you get the point.
Mr. Dubros: And who knows, if this weekend goes well, we may be discussing a more permanent position on Monday. Kayla: I can’t imagine anything that could possibly mess this up.
Kayla: [to Tom and Jerry] You guys got to stop fighting. It’s like you’ve been doing this for years.
Cameron: Did you address the elephant that’s here? Kayla: Cameron, yes. I addressed the elephant in the room. You weren’t here for it. Cameron: Yeah. No, I mean literally.
Elephant Trainer: Where do you want them? Kayla: Pardon. The elephants? Elephant Trainer: Can’t leave them in the truck. Kayla: No. That would be inhumane. They can be parked at valet.
Kayla: Okay. How about we go ahead and put all the birds in the staff room? Joy the Bell Girl: The animal wrangler said this time of year they need room to socialize and mate. Kayla: I think they’ve socialized enough, Joy. This is a wedding after all, not spring break.
Preeta: We’ve just decided to avoid behaviors that might give the impression that we’re fighting. Kayla: But what about when it’s just you two? Preeta: I mean, we disagree, of course, about how big the wedding should be. But I guess there was so much pressure to maintain an image that somewhere we forgot how to fight.
Kayla: Ben really loves you, Preeta. Preeta: Yeah. He’s a really good guy. It’s just that when he goes, he goes big. And I love that about him. But I have this feeling that this small Indian wedding is going to be a great big disaster.
Kayla: That was a scream. Ben: It’s harmless. Kayla: Yeah. Military things usually are.
Ben: As I’m saying the words “drone” and “elephant”, out loud, to another human being, I’m wondering, is this a lot?
[to Tom, referring to Jerry, after they’ve been taken to the animal compound] Terence: You know what your friend said? That it’s your fault. Maybe I shouldn’t say this, you know? He says you smell like tuna. And a cheesy foot. He also said that you’re emotionally unavailable. He also wants you to stay here and rot.
Preeta: Ben, this feels so embarrassing. Ben: Well, if it’s any consolation, you look very beautiful. And in a way, you know, we’re the elephants. Because we’re never going to forget this wedding.
Kayla: [after Tom and Jerry ruin the wedding] Sir, when I came into your office that day, I had stolen someone else’s resume, and pretended that it was mine. I don’t have any qualifications for this. Or for anything, really. Terence: You not only destroyed this wedding, but may have destroyed the future of this hotel.
Terence: [as he tosses Tom out] And don’t even think about coming back. You think I was going to let some street animals live at the Royal Gate Hotel? Oh, no.
Kayla: I still can’t believe that I saw everything that woman accomplished on her resume, and I thought that my pure ambition was an even swap. Cameron: Come on, Kayla, everybody screws up. Kayla: It’s just hard. I mean, every morning I wake up, and I look at my phone, and my newsfeed is filled with people who are our age, you know, they’re succeeding at what they’re doing. Cameron: Well, maybe we just need to stop comparing ourselves to everybody and just work for it.
Kayla: [to Tom] Alright, you know what? Just cut the chalkboard act and tell me what’s going on.
Kayla: [referring to Tom and Jerry] I think what they’re trying to tell us is that if we go back to the hotel, quickly salvage what we can, and we find a last-minute venue, and some sort of befitting celebrant, we can fix this by putting on a makeshift wedding. Cameron: And you got all of that from that? Kayla: Yeah. We kind of understand each other now.
Kayla: [to Ben] Someone once told me that a wedding is a couple’s very first test. And some couples, well, they rise to that. Terence: Stupid. What kind of idiot said that? I mean, seriously. Mr. Dubros: Me. Terence: Oh. I apologize. I’m sorry. I was being sarcastic.
Kayla: You can rise, Ben. We can still pull this off. Mr. Dubros: Needless to say, everything at this hotel will be at your disposal. Except, of course, the hotel.
Joy the Bell Girl: What about the garden across the street? Ben: I’m sorry, garden? Kayla: Wait, do you mean Central Park? Joy the Bell Girl: Sure. Whatever nickname you have for it. Kayla: That’s actually an amazing idea.
Terence: You expect me to assist you after what you’ve done to this hotel? Kayla: I think we both did some things that we regret to keep our jobs. Tom and Jerry told me what you did. I’m not going to tell anybody. Terence: Okay, thank you. Kayla: If Tom and Jerry can be out there working together, then so can we.
Kayla: [to Tom and Jerry] This no-talking thing is really getting old.
Ben: I wanted to give you the wedding of your dreams. But at some point, it drifted into my dreams, and your father’s dreams. And then your father was in my dreams, and in one of them, he was riding a tiger. It was really weird. And then, I’m sorry that I didn’t just shut up and listen to what you wanted. Preeta: What I want is you. It’s only ever been that. Ben: Going forward, I promise fewer surprises, and I promise more truth. Because honestly, I love you.
Mr. Dubros: You know, it wasn’t all Thomas and Jerome. I know you had a hand in it too. You were right from the beginning. A resume is just a piece of paper. You have to give someone a chance to find out what they can do. Kayla: I agree. Terence: Yes, you did a very good job. Kayla: Thank you, Terence. On that note, I would love to introduce you to Miss Linda Perrybottom. Mr. Dubros. The real owner of the resume.
Ben: [post-credits lines] Mr. Dubros, I just got a bill for both weddings. That’s a joke, right? Mr. Dubros: Well, you know, I had Terence run some numbers earlier, and it doesn’t look good for you. Terence: Thank you for choosing the Royal Gate.
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