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Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Taylor Ali, Tati Gabrielle, Antonio Banderas
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Action adventure directed by Ruben Fleischer. Based on the video game series by Amy Hennig, Uncharted (2022) centers on Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) and his first treasure hunting adventure with rival-turned-partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg). The two go in dangerous pursuit of the greatest treasure never found, while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long-lost brother.
Young Sam: You know what Magellan was really looking for? Gold. But he never made it home.
Young Nate: So all that gold, it’s just gone?
Young Sam: Lost. Not gone. There’s a difference. If something’s lost, it can be found. But lucky for us, we got pirate blood in our veins. Descended from Sir Francis Drake himself. At least, that was what Mom and Dad used to say.
Young Sam: I’m not letting them lock me up. No way.
Young Nate: I’m coming with you.
Young Sam: [referring to his ring] Not this time. Come here. You see me go anywhere without this? No. So you know I will never leave it behind. I will always be with you. It says “sic parvis magna”. “Greatness from small beginnings”. That’s you and me.
Carlos: Oh, well, well, well. If it isn’t the late, great and formerly employed Nate.
Nathan Drake: Well, at least you got the great part right.
Zoe: You’re kind of weird. But kind of cute too.
Nathan Drake: Well, then I’m kind of offended. But I’m also kind of flattered.
Victor Sullivan: I got a job coming up a big one. I need another set of hands on it.
Nathan Drake: So this is what you do? You stumble into bars, trying to pick up an accomplice?
Victor Sullivan: I’m offering you a real ticket out of here, a chance to see places you only read about in books. What do you say?
Nathan Drake: You missed the read, Victor. I’m not a mark in some bar. And some of us here would really like to go home, so get out.
Victor Sullivan: Fair enough. Bye-bye, now.
Victor Sullivan: [after Nathan breaks into his apartment] I see patience ain’t your virtue.
Nathan Drake: Surprised to see me?
Victor Sullivan: Not even slightly. I made you a drink.
Nathan Drake: Shirley Temple. That’s hilarious. And the bracelet?
Victor Sullivan: It’s in the first drawer there on my desk, if you want it. But I think you’re here because you got bigger fish to fry.
Nathan Drake: No, I’m just here for the bracelet.
Victor Sullivan: You done?
Nathan Drake: [takes the ornament on the desk] No. Oof. This looks valuable. Now I’m done.
Victor Sullivan: Why the map? Of everything in here, that stopped you.
Nathan Drake: Because it looks like it might be authentic.
Victor Sullivan: Oh, not might be. It is.
Nathan Drake: Holy s**t.
Nathan Drake: This line here shows the path that Ferdinand Magellan took to sail around the world.
Victor Sullivan: First guy to do it. You know your history.
Nathan Drake: Yeah, only he wasn’t the first guy to do it.
Victor Sullivan: [referring to House of Moncada] They offered Magellan his grand voyage of exploration so long as he came back with that gold. How much gold? Today’s dollars, five billion, easy.
Nathan Drake: It’s the biggest treasure that’s never been found.
Nathan Drake: Look, I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a kid. But somehow you already knew that.
Victor Sullivan: You know, when Sam said he had a little brother who was just as into this Magellan stuff, I thought, “There’s no way.”
Nathan Drake: Wait, you know my brother Sam?
Victor Sullivan: Oh, we were practically friends. That’s saying something, considering the company I keep.
Victor Sullivan: Hey, look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I think if we find that gold, there’s a real good chance we find him too. What do you say?
Nathan Drake: Sam left when I was ten. He would call every once in a while, swore he’d come back, but he never did. The Sam that I knew disappeared a long time ago. So, no, you’ll have to find somebody else.
Victor Sullivan: Wow. I’m really losing my touch.
Victor Sullivan: [over phone] Hey, kid. What took you so long?
Nathan Drake: So, when do we start?
Victor Sullivan: Look, all I need you to do is kill the power during the auction. That’ll trigger the main alarm, and then I can do my thing.
Nathan Drake: Okay. And how am I supposed to kill the power?
Victor Sullivan: Well, s**t, that’s up to you. I mean, you got to bring something to the equation. I’m not cutting you in for fun.
Nathan Drake: I assume we’re fifty-fifty, right?
Victor Sullivan: Fifty-fifty? On what, the gold?
Nathan Drake: Yeah.
Victor Sullivan: Are you high? You know this has been years of my life? You get ten percent, and that’s me being generous.
Nathan Drake: Wow. That’s awfully generous.
Victor Sullivan: What are you going to do with that kind of money?
Nathan Drake: You served too, didn’t you? Dishonorable discharge.
Victor Sullivan: Hey, you did some homework, huh?
Nathan Drake: Of course I did.
Victor Sullivan: I flew helicopters. I was preserving some artifacts from a museum in Baghdad. I was over the max load weight, crashed pretty hard. They got all upset, kicked me out. Bit of an overreaction, but what are you going to do?
Nathan Drake: You say “preserving”, but you mean looting, right?
Victor Sullivan: Well, if I didn’t take them, somebody else would have.
Victor Sullivan: What’s with the cat?
Nathan Drake: She’s just for you.
Victor Sullivan: What?
Nathan Drake: Yeah. Your life seems super sad.
Victor Sullivan: No, no, no. I’m not going to keep this thing! They’re going to s**t all over my floor.
Victor Sullivan: These people can tell a fake when they see one, alright? You have to believe the lie you’re selling. You belong here. You’re one of them. Or you can just go with the Bubblicious. Jesus.
Nathan Drake: No, this is Bubble Yum.
Victor Sullivan: It’s the same thing.
Victor Sullivan: [referring to the earpiece] Here, put that in your ear.
Nathan Drake: No way! Hello? Hello?
Victor Sullivan: I can hear you. I’m sitting right next to you.
Nathan Drake: Oh, s**t. I think I pushed it in too far.
Victor Sullivan: A martini?
Nathan Drake: Yeah. Why not?
Victor Sullivan: That’ll go great with the bubble gum. You should actually put the gum in the martini. You’d have a bubble gum martini.
Nathan Drake: That’s actually not a bad idea.
Santiago Moncada: You are a collector?
Nathan Drake: I dabble.
Santiago Moncada: I don’t dabble. This cross has a very tragic history. Eighteen men died trying to hold on to it. So much blood so needlessly spilled. Good luck to you.
Victor Sullivan: [over earpiece, referring to Moncada] Hey, Bubble Yum. You done chatting up our archnemesis?
Nathan Drake: I’m pretty sure he just threatened to kill me.
Victor Sullivan: Don’t touch your ear like that. You look like an idiot.
The Scotsman: [in a thick Scottish accent] I said you shouldn’t have come out to play with the big boys, wee’un. Because you are about to get a proper Scottish welcome!
Nathan Drake: I literally have no idea what you’re saying.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully, I think you’re just going to have to buy that cross.
Victor Sullivan: You better do something now. Kill the power, fake a heart attack. I don’t give a s**t.
Nathan Drake: [as he jumps off the balcony] Ah, this is going to suck!
Victor Sullivan: Well, that was something.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully, where you going? You can’t leave me.
Victor Sullivan: There’s only one rule in this game, kid. Don’t get caught.
Nathan Drake: Hey. You surprised to see me?
Victor Sullivan: Well, you proved yourself again, kid. That was some swan dive you took.
Nathan Drake: You were just going to leave me back there!
Victor Sullivan: Well, it wouldn’t do any good having us both locked up. Somebody had to get the cross.
Nathan Drake: So we’re looking for a tree.
Victor Sullivan: Really?
Nathan Drake: Yeah.
Victor Sullivan: Wow. That’s your expert analysis?
Nathan Drake: Well, you just gave me the book like an hour ago. What am I supposed to do?
Victor Sullivan: I mean, I got that far on my own. I’ve seen the picture of the tree. Where’s the gold? Is it under the tree? Is it in the tree?
Nathan Drake: I don’t know. Could be.
Victor Sullivan: Look out the window. There’s a lot of trees in Barcelona.
Chloe Frazer: Who the hell is this?
Nathan Drake: I’m Nate. I’m a friend of Sully’s.
Chloe Frazer: Sully doesn’t have any friends. I should know. I’m one of them.
Nathan Drake: Look, if we want to get the gold, we’re going to have to figure out a way to trust each other. So give me the key.
Chloe Frazer: Which church?
Nathan Drake: Santa Maria del Pi. Saint Mary of the Pine.
Victor Sullivan: This has to be it. You might just be a genius.
Chloe Frazer: “Genius” is a stretch.
Chloe Frazer: [reading from the book] “Trust in your fellow man, for one will go to heaven, and the other to hell.”
Nathan Drake: Well, it’s ironic, seeing as the only point in having two keys was that the eighteen didn’t trust each other.
Victor Sullivan: Well, good thing they didn’t, or we wouldn’t be here, right? Like one big happy family.