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Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Taylor Ali, Tati Gabrielle, Antonio Banderas
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Action adventure directed by Ruben Fleischer. Based on the video game series by Amy Hennig, Uncharted (2022) centers on Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) and his first treasure hunting adventure with rival-turned-partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg). The two go in dangerous pursuit of the greatest treasure never found, while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long-lost brother.
Young Sam: You know what Magellan was really looking for? Gold. But he never made it home.
Young Nate: So all that gold, it’s just gone?
Young Sam: Lost. Not gone. There’s a difference. If something’s lost, it can be found. But lucky for us, we got pirate blood in our veins. Descended from Sir Francis Drake himself. At least, that was what Mom and Dad used to say.
Young Sam: I’m not letting them lock me up. No way.
Young Nate: I’m coming with you.
Young Sam: [referring to his ring] Not this time. Come here. You see me go anywhere without this? No. So you know I will never leave it behind. I will always be with you. It says “sic parvis magna”. “Greatness from small beginnings”. That’s you and me.
Carlos: Oh, well, well, well. If it isn’t the late, great and formerly employed Nate.
Nathan Drake: Well, at least you got the great part right.
Zoe: You’re kind of weird. But kind of cute too.
Nathan Drake: Well, then I’m kind of offended. But I’m also kind of flattered.
Victor Sullivan: I got a job coming up a big one. I need another set of hands on it.
Nathan Drake: So this is what you do? You stumble into bars, trying to pick up an accomplice?
Victor Sullivan: I’m offering you a real ticket out of here, a chance to see places you only read about in books. What do you say?
Nathan Drake: You missed the read, Victor. I’m not a mark in some bar. And some of us here would really like to go home, so get out.
Victor Sullivan: Fair enough. Bye-bye, now.
Victor Sullivan: [after Nathan breaks into his apartment] I see patience ain’t your virtue.
Nathan Drake: Surprised to see me?
Victor Sullivan: Not even slightly. I made you a drink.
Nathan Drake: Shirley Temple. That’s hilarious. And the bracelet?
Victor Sullivan: It’s in the first drawer there on my desk, if you want it. But I think you’re here because you got bigger fish to fry.
Nathan Drake: No, I’m just here for the bracelet.
Victor Sullivan: You done?
Nathan Drake: [takes the ornament on the desk] No. Oof. This looks valuable. Now I’m done.
Victor Sullivan: Why the map? Of everything in here, that stopped you.
Nathan Drake: Because it looks like it might be authentic.
Victor Sullivan: Oh, not might be. It is.
Nathan Drake: Holy s**t.
Nathan Drake: This line here shows the path that Ferdinand Magellan took to sail around the world.
Victor Sullivan: First guy to do it. You know your history.
Nathan Drake: Yeah, only he wasn’t the first guy to do it.
Victor Sullivan: [referring to House of Moncada] They offered Magellan his grand voyage of exploration so long as he came back with that gold. How much gold? Today’s dollars, five billion, easy.
Nathan Drake: It’s the biggest treasure that’s never been found.
Nathan Drake: Look, I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a kid. But somehow you already knew that.
Victor Sullivan: You know, when Sam said he had a little brother who was just as into this Magellan stuff, I thought, “There’s no way.”
Nathan Drake: Wait, you know my brother Sam?
Victor Sullivan: Oh, we were practically friends. That’s saying something, considering the company I keep.
Victor Sullivan: Hey, look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I think if we find that gold, there’s a real good chance we find him too. What do you say?
Nathan Drake: Sam left when I was ten. He would call every once in a while, swore he’d come back, but he never did. The Sam that I knew disappeared a long time ago. So, no, you’ll have to find somebody else.
Victor Sullivan: Wow. I’m really losing my touch.
Victor Sullivan: [over phone] Hey, kid. What took you so long?
Nathan Drake: So, when do we start?
Victor Sullivan: Look, all I need you to do is kill the power during the auction. That’ll trigger the main alarm, and then I can do my thing.
Nathan Drake: Okay. And how am I supposed to kill the power?
Victor Sullivan: Well, s**t, that’s up to you. I mean, you got to bring something to the equation. I’m not cutting you in for fun.
Nathan Drake: I assume we’re fifty-fifty, right?
Victor Sullivan: Fifty-fifty? On what, the gold?
Nathan Drake: Yeah.
Victor Sullivan: Are you high? You know this has been years of my life? You get ten percent, and that’s me being generous.
Nathan Drake: Wow. That’s awfully generous.
Victor Sullivan: What are you going to do with that kind of money?
Nathan Drake: You served too, didn’t you? Dishonorable discharge.
Victor Sullivan: Hey, you did some homework, huh?
Nathan Drake: Of course I did.
Victor Sullivan: I flew helicopters. I was preserving some artifacts from a museum in Baghdad. I was over the max load weight, crashed pretty hard. They got all upset, kicked me out. Bit of an overreaction, but what are you going to do?
Nathan Drake: You say “preserving”, but you mean looting, right?
Victor Sullivan: Well, if I didn’t take them, somebody else would have.
Victor Sullivan: What’s with the cat?
Nathan Drake: She’s just for you.
Victor Sullivan: What?
Nathan Drake: Yeah. Your life seems super sad.
Victor Sullivan: No, no, no. I’m not going to keep this thing! They’re going to s**t all over my floor.
Victor Sullivan: These people can tell a fake when they see one, alright? You have to believe the lie you’re selling. You belong here. You’re one of them. Or you can just go with the Bubblicious. Jesus.
Nathan Drake: No, this is Bubble Yum.
Victor Sullivan: It’s the same thing.
Victor Sullivan: [referring to the earpiece] Here, put that in your ear.
Nathan Drake: No way! Hello? Hello?
Victor Sullivan: I can hear you. I’m sitting right next to you.
Nathan Drake: Oh, s**t. I think I pushed it in too far.
Victor Sullivan: A martini?
Nathan Drake: Yeah. Why not?
Victor Sullivan: That’ll go great with the bubble gum. You should actually put the gum in the martini. You’d have a bubble gum martini.
Nathan Drake: That’s actually not a bad idea.
Santiago Moncada: You are a collector?
Nathan Drake: I dabble.
Santiago Moncada: I don’t dabble. This cross has a very tragic history. Eighteen men died trying to hold on to it. So much blood so needlessly spilled. Good luck to you.
Victor Sullivan: [over earpiece, referring to Moncada] Hey, Bubble Yum. You done chatting up our archnemesis?
Nathan Drake: I’m pretty sure he just threatened to kill me.
Victor Sullivan: Don’t touch your ear like that. You look like an idiot.
The Scotsman: [in a thick Scottish accent] I said you shouldn’t have come out to play with the big boys, wee’un. Because you are about to get a proper Scottish welcome!
Nathan Drake: I literally have no idea what you’re saying.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully, I think you’re just going to have to buy that cross.
Victor Sullivan: You better do something now. Kill the power, fake a heart attack. I don’t give a s**t.
Nathan Drake: [as he jumps off the balcony] Ah, this is going to suck!
Victor Sullivan: Well, that was something.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully, where you going? You can’t leave me.
Victor Sullivan: There’s only one rule in this game, kid. Don’t get caught.
Nathan Drake: Hey. You surprised to see me?
Victor Sullivan: Well, you proved yourself again, kid. That was some swan dive you took.
Nathan Drake: You were just going to leave me back there!
Victor Sullivan: Well, it wouldn’t do any good having us both locked up. Somebody had to get the cross.
Nathan Drake: So we’re looking for a tree.
Victor Sullivan: Really?
Nathan Drake: Yeah.
Victor Sullivan: Wow. That’s your expert analysis?
Nathan Drake: Well, you just gave me the book like an hour ago. What am I supposed to do?
Victor Sullivan: I mean, I got that far on my own. I’ve seen the picture of the tree. Where’s the gold? Is it under the tree? Is it in the tree?
Nathan Drake: I don’t know. Could be.
Victor Sullivan: Look out the window. There’s a lot of trees in Barcelona.
Chloe Frazer: Who the hell is this?
Nathan Drake: I’m Nate. I’m a friend of Sully’s.
Chloe Frazer: Sully doesn’t have any friends. I should know. I’m one of them.
Nathan Drake: Look, if we want to get the gold, we’re going to have to figure out a way to trust each other. So give me the key.
Chloe Frazer: Which church?
Nathan Drake: Santa Maria del Pi. Saint Mary of the Pine.
Victor Sullivan: This has to be it. You might just be a genius.
Chloe Frazer: “Genius” is a stretch.
Chloe Frazer: [reading from the book] “Trust in your fellow man, for one will go to heaven, and the other to hell.”
Nathan Drake: Well, it’s ironic, seeing as the only point in having two keys was that the eighteen didn’t trust each other.
Victor Sullivan: Well, good thing they didn’t, or we wouldn’t be here, right? Like one big happy family.
Victor Sullivan: Hey, kid, you think she’s okay?
Nathan Drake: Who?
Victor Sullivan: My cat.
Chloe Frazer: You have a cat?
Victor Sullivan: The man from the app said he was going to feed her, but he didn’t text me back yet.
Nathan Drake: I don’t know what’s cuter, your concern, or the fact that you just said “the man from the app”.
Nathan Drake: Oh, great. Nuns. Why’s it always got to be nuns?
Victor Sullivan: Both of you, turn your keys clockwise at the same time.
Nathan Drake: Three, two, one. Turn.
Victor Sullivan: [as little arrows shoot out at Sully] S**t! Thanks a lot. You almost got me killed.
Nathan Drake: Clockwise, Sully?
Victor Sullivan: Well, it was fifty-fifty, so I made a guess.
Chloe Frazer: A guess? That could’ve been our heads!
Victor Sullivan: Well, clearly, you should turn the keys the other way. Kid, I don’t even have my glasses. I can’t read this s**t.
Nathan Drake: Yeah, clearly.
Nathan Drake: [as he takes Sully’s phone] Oh, my God. You have so many apps open. What is wrong with you? Tinder? Really?
Victor Sullivan: I own that.
Chloe Frazer: Does this look right to you?
Nathan Drake: Well, I don’t really know what the path to ancient treasure’s supposed to look like.
Chloe Frazer: More ancient?
Nathan Drake: I guess.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Hey, Sully, do you see anything weird up there?
Victor Sullivan: You’re going to have to be more specific.
Nathan Drake: [as the Scotsman shows up at the bar] Let me guess. Piña colada?
The Scotsman: [after he’s gotten hold of Nathan’s throat] You think you’re a comedian, do you, sunshine?
Nathan Drake: Okay, I got it. I got it. Sex on the Beach.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully! There has to be another keyhole up there somewhere that opens this door!
Victor Sullivan: I’m like literally in a Papa John’s right now.
Nathan Drake: [over earpiece] Sully! Hurry!
Victor Sullivan: Shut up. I’m working on it.
Nathan Drake: I’ll shut up when you get us the hell out of here! What’s going on?! Sully, if you don’t turn that damn key, we’re going to drown!
Victor Sullivan: [as Braddock is strangling him] It’s going to take a little longer than I thought, kid.
Chloe Frazer: You have no idea who you’re partnered with, do you? You don’t even really know what went down.
Nathan Drake: Went down with what?
Chloe Frazer: Sam. Who do you think?
Nathan Drake: What are you talking about?
Chloe Frazer: Ask Sully.
Nathan Drake: What happened to my brother? Stop thinking of the next lie you’re going to tell me. Where’s Sam, Sully?
Victor Sullivan: I should’ve told you before. But your brother, he’s gone, kid.
Nathan Drake: No, he’s not. You said he ghosted you.
Victor Sullivan: He’s gone. He didn’t ghost me.
Nathan Drake: [after Sully reveals Sam got shot] So you just left him there to die.
Victor Sullivan: I saw a way out, so I took it.
Nathan Drake: So you just left him there to die.
Victor Sullivan: What was I supposed to do, get shot too? Nothing I could do.
Nathan Drake: How could you not tell me this?
Victor Sullivan: Well, I knew if I told you, you never would’ve come with me.
Nathan Drake: So that’s what this is about. You dragged me all the way out here, let me believe that I might see my brother again, because you think that I know something?
Victor Sullivan: Yeah. Do you?
Nathan Drake: Did you really just ask me that?
Nathan Drake: [to Sully] You said that money changes people, makes them greedy, makes them selfish. But you know what I think? I think that’s just who you are. I don’t think there was ever a better version of you. And whatever this is, now I’m done.
Victor Sullivan: You hate me. Alright, I get it. Look, I’d hate me too. But Braddock, after what she did to your brother? She shot him in cold blood. Alright? We can’t let her win. She…
Nathan Drake: Oh, Sully, will you please just stop trying to play me for like five minutes? For years, I told myself that Sam would come back. That he wasn’t gone, that he was just lost. But instead, I’m stuck here with you. So this is how this is going to go. I’m going to finish what my brother started, and then we go our separate ways.
Nathan Drake: [referring to Chloe] She only cut us out because she knew you were going to cut her out.
Victor Sullivan: You’re still harboring feelings for that girl who knocked you on your a**, huh? Wow.
Santiago Moncada: Five hundred years ago, my family was betrayed. Yes, a small band of explorers, they found the world biggest fortune. And you know what? They hid it. For centuries, people search for it, all in vain. It was left to me to recover my family’s gold. Nobody thought I could do it. And certainly not my father. Now, today is the day I restore the Moncadas fortune. And I bring honor back to my house! And I earn my place in…
Braddock: [as she cuts Moncada’s throat] Daddy was right, you don’t have what it takes. The House of Moncada dies with you.
Victor Sullivan: Alright, let’s find some parachutes.
Nathan Drake: Parachutes? What?
Victor Sullivan: Unless you know a better way to jump out of a plane.
Chloe Frazer: What the hell are you doing?!
Nathan Drake: You just hit me with a car!
Chloe Frazer: You don’t have a parachute?
Nathan Drake: You don’t have a parachute!
Chloe Frazer: You really think there’s any difference between them and you? You and Sully were just as eager to screw me over as they were.
Nathan Drake: Look, I’m not Sully, okay?
Chloe Frazer: Hallelujah. One’s bad enough.
Hotel Guest: What the hell happened to you two?
Nathan Drake: Fell out of a car that fell out of a plane.
Hotel Guest: Huh. Hey, you know, something like that happened to me once.
Chloe Frazer: [as Nathan reads her note] I’m sorry, Nate. I like you. I really do. But I learned the hard way the minute you start to trust someone, you lose.
Nathan Drake: Yeah, well, too bad you’re headed in the wrong direction.
Victor Sullivan: [as they find the gold] We did it! We actually did it!
Nathan Drake: Sully, we didn’t do anything. Okay? There is no “we”. There’s only you. Because there’s not a person in your life that you wouldn’t betray for a piece of this. You made that real clear.
Victor Sullivan: I thought that’s what we wanted.
Nathan Drake: No, I wanted to do this with my brother Sam. Not with you.
Victor Sullivan: I know. I’m sorry. But look around, kid. You did this. He’d be proud of you.
Victor Sullivan: We’d better get small. Or, in your case, smaller.
Nathan Drake: Hey. You’re only like one inch taller than me, max.
Victor Sullivan: I think it’s a little more than that, kid.
Victor Sullivan: Oh, I’m not going in there.
Nathan Drake: Hey, look. You could stay up here and get shot in the head, or come down here for a quick cuddle. Up to you. I’m going down.
Victor Sullivan: What is it with you and small spaces?
Nathan Drake: [referring to the bottle of wine] Got this thing jamming up my a**. Wow.
Victor Sullivan: Don’t even think about it.
Nathan Drake: [as he drinks from the bottle] Oh, I’m thinking about it.
Nathan Drake: [referring to flying the helicopter] Hey, Sully. Don’t crash.
Victor Sullivan: Just what I needed. Positive reinforcement. Thanks.
Nathan Drake: Hey! All hands on deck! Raise the anchor! Hoist the mainsail!
Victor Sullivan: Hey, Jack Sparrow, stay sharp.
Nathan Drake: Oh, come on, man. I’ve been waiting to do this my entire life!
Nathan Drake: [referring to Magellan’s ship] Look at her. You can’t put a price on that.
Victor Sullivan: Yeah, you can actually. Like four to six billion.
[then the ships starts to sink in the ocean]
Nathan Drake: You got a heart of gold, Sully.
Victor Sullivan: Real funny, wisea**.
Nathan Drake: What, too soon?
Victor Sullivan: Forever is too soon.
Nathan Drake: [mid-credits lines] What is that thing on your face?
Victor Sullivan: Hey, puberty’s right around the corner, kid. You can grow your own.
Nathan Drake: [mid-credits lines] Hey, you were supposed to be here yesterday.
Victor Sullivan: Did you know you need special papers to bring an animal on a plane? I did not know that.
Nathan Drake: You trying to tell me I almost just bought it because you brought your damn cat?
Victor Sullivan: Hey, I go everywhere with Mr. Whiskers, okay?