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Home / Movie Quotes / The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes – ‘There is no nobility in poverty.’

The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes – ‘There is no nobility in poverty.’

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Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Jon Favreau, Jean Dujardin, Joanna Lumley,
Shea Whigham

OUR RATING: ★★★½

Story:

Black comedy bio-drama directed by Martin Scorsese based on the memoir of the same name by Jordan Belfort. The story follows Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) as he achieves his dreams of being a rich stockbroker, but then after losing his job in the crash of 1987, falls on hard times after which Belfort begins his ascent from earnest stockbroker to becoming a greedy, drug-addled criminal by selling cheap stock to working-class people manipulating the finance market and spending millions on his debauched lifestyle.

 

Our Favorite Quotes:

‘Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I've been a rich man, and I've been a poor man. And I choose rich every f**king time.’ - Jordan Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street) Click To Tweet ‘Risk is what keeps us young.’ - Aunt Emma (The Wolf of Wall Street) Click To Tweet

 

Best Quotes   (Total Quotes: 293)


 

[first lines; we see a conservative TV commercial for Stratton Oakmont, Inc. showing a lion walking through one of the floor of the company]
Commercial Voice Over: The world of investing can be a jungle. Bulls, bears, danger at every turn. That’s why we at Stratton Oakmont pride our self on being the best. Trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness. Stratton Oakmont. Stability, integrity, pride.


 

[immediately following the commercial we see what’s really going on in Stratton Oakmont where the brokers, looking drunk, are all gathered playing a game]
Stock Brokers: One, two, three!
[a dwarf is thrown onto a massive dartboard with a dollar sign for a bulls-eye and everyone cheers]
Jordan Belfort: Twenty-five grand to the first c**ks**ker to nail a bullseye!
[he throws the money onto the floor and everyone cheers]
Jordan Belfort: Come on! Let’s go!
[Jordan and another broker pick up another dwarf by his pants and collar and countdown to throw him]
Stock Brokers: One, two, three!
[the dwarf is thrown and goes hurtling towards the board and the camera freezes on him as Jordan introduces himself]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] My name is Jordan Belfort. Not him, me. That’s right. I’m a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned twenty-six as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made forty-nine million dollars. Which really pi**ed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.
[we see a photo of young Jordan with his dad, then we see a red Ferrari being driven on the highway]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] No, no, no, no. My Ferrari was white, like Don Johnson’s in Miami Vice, not red.
[the Ferrari’s color turns to white, inside it Jordan drives as he’s getting a blow job from a blond]


 

[next we see a large house]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] See that humongous estate down there? That’s my house.
[in the bedroom a woman lies in the bed wearing her underwear looking seductive]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] My wife, Naomi. The Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, a former model and Miller Lite girl. Yeah, she was the one with my c**k in her mouth in the Ferrari. So put your d**k back in your pants. In addition to Naomi and my two perfect kids, I own a mansion, private jet, six cars, three horses, two vacation homes and a hundred and seventy foot yacht.


 

[we see Jordan blowing cocaine into a hooker’s butt]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I also gamble like a degenerate, I drink like a fish, I f**k hookers maybe five-six times a week. I have three different Federal agencies looking to indict me. Oh, yeah. And I love drugs.
[suddenly Jordan looks up as if he’s heard something, but there’s no one there]
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
[he slaps the hooker’s a**]
Hooker: Oh, yeah.
Jordan Belfort: One more.
[he slaps her a** again]
Hooker: Oh, you like it?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Later that night.
[a drunk and high looking Jordan flies a helicopter when the helicopter starts going down]
Helicopter Pilot: Pull up! Pull up! We’re going to crash! For Christ sake!
Jordan Belfort: Come on!
[Jordan manages to pull the helicopter up at the last minute looking extremely drunk]
Jordan Belfort: Just relax!
[as Jordan tries to pull the helicopter up, he loses control and the helicopter slams to the ground]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, f**k.
[looking at the pilot]
Jordan Belfort: You okay?
Helicopter Pilot: Yeah, I’m alright.
Jordan Belfort: Alright, good.
Helicopter Pilot: Good job.
Jordan Belfort: Good.
Helicopter Pilot: You got in there safe, alright?
Jordan Belfort: Until next time, brother.
Helicopter Pilot: Until next time.
[Jordan flops out of the helicopter]


 

[we see Jordan in his house walking out of his room drinking a glass of orange juice, as he walks down the stairs he talks into the camera]
Jordan Belfort: Yep, on a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens. For a month.
[his housekeeper holds the front door open for him]
Housekeeper: Okay, Mr. Jordan.
[Jordan walks out the front door and continues talking to the camera]
Jordan Belfort: I take Quaaludes, ten to fifteen times a day, for my “back pain”. Adderall to stay focused.
[he throws his glass of orange juice aside as he walks towards his car]
Jordan Belfort: Xanax to take the edge off pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine, well, because it’s awesome.
[to his chauffeur, who’s holding the car door open for him]
Jordan Belfort: Morning, Nathan.
[he gets in the car and his chauffeur drives him to work]


 

[he talks into the camera as he walks into his office building]
Jordan Belfort: But of all the drugs under God’s blue heaven, there is one that is my absolute favorite.
[in his office Jordan uses a credit card to cut a line of coke on his desk]
Jordan Belfort: See, enough of this sh*t’ll make you invincible. Able to conquer the world and eviscerate you enemies.
[he snorts up a line of coke with a $100 bill, then points to the cocaine]
Jordan Belfort: And I’m not talking about this. I’m talking about this.
[he unrolls the $100 bill and snaps it, he then crumples it up and tosses into a wastebasket]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] See money doesn’t just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better pussy, it also makes you a better person. You can give generously to the church or the political party of your choice. You can save the f**king spotted owl with money.
[Jordan walks out onto the office floor where the rest of the brokers are, they all cheer him as he walks through them and takes front stage to stand in front of a microphone]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I always wanted to be rich. So let me go back. I’m twenty-two years old, newly married, and already a money crazed little sh*t. So what do I do? I go to the one place on earth that befit my high-minded ambitions..
[flashback to a younger Jordan arriving on the bus to Wall Street, he kisses his wife, Teresa Petrillo, goodbye before stepping off the bus]


 

[Jordan meets one of the brokers he’ll be working for on his first day at the job]
Jerry Fogel: You are lower than f**king pond scum. You got a problem with that?
[looks at Jordan’s name badge]
Jerry Fogel: Jordan?
Jordan Belfort: No, no problem at all.
Jerry Fogel: Good, because that is it what you are, pond scum
[he turns and takes Jordan to his desk]
Jerry Fogel: Your job is ‘connector’, which means that you will be dialing the phone over five hundred times a day trying to connect me with wealthy business owners. And until you pass your Series 7, that is all you’re going to be f**king doing.
[pointing to a chair by one of the desks]
Jerry Fogel: Sit. Sit!
[Jordan quickly sits down]
Jerry Fogel: Right, just so you know, last year I made over three hundred thousand dollars. The other guy you’ll be working for, he made over a million.
[Fogel takes his seat at his desk]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] A million dollars? I could only imagine what a douchebag that guy must be.
[suddenly a man grabs Jordan’s shoulders from behind]
Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort?
Jordan Belfort: Yes, sir.
Mark Hanna: Mark Hanna.
[he shakes hands with Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Pleasure to meet you.
Mark Hanna: And you as well. I see you’ve already met the village a**hole.
[Fogel slams down a stack of cards on Jordan’s desk]
Jerry Fogel: Smile and dial. And don’t pick up your f**king head until one.
[to Jordan]
Mark Hanna: Hey, f**k him. I’m the senior broker here, he’s just a worthless piker.
Jerry Fogel: Why don’t you blow me, Hanna?
[Hanna blows him a mocking kiss]


 

Mark Hanna: Now did you really pitch a stock in your job interview?
Jordan Belfort: I had to do something to stand out, right, sir?
Mark Hanna: I f**king love that.
[he smiles, pats Jordon on the chest and starts to walk away]
Mark Hanna: Lunch, today.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, alright.
[Hanna looks at the giant clock on the office wall and shouts to the other brokers]
Mark Hanna: Oh, we don’t start dialing at 9:30, because our clients are already answering the phone. Three, two, one! Let’s f**k!


 

[the bell rings to signal the opening of the stock market and everyone starts dialing]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall street. f**k this sh*t that, c**t, c**k, a**hole. I couldn’t believe how these guys talk to each other. I was hooked in seconds. It was like mainlining adrenaline.
[one of the brokers shouts to another]
Broker #1: Yeah, f**k face! Look at where the stock’s at today, huh?
[Jordan watches the brokers in fascination when suddenly Fogel notices he isn’t dialing, he kicks Jordan’s chair]
Jerry Fogel: Pick up the c**ks**king phone!
Jordan Belfort: Sir, yes, sir.
[Hanna who’s talking into his phone notices this and throws his stress ball at Fogel]
Jerry Fogel: You are such a f**king dougchebag, Hanna.
[Hanna gives him the finger]


 

[Hanna is talking on the phone]
Mark Hanna: We don’t give two sh*ts about how technology works, because all we care about is getting f**king rich!
[he points to Jordan, who smiles as he’s talking on the phone]
Mark Hanna: Solid two thousand.
[Hanna slams down his phone in victory and yells]
Mark Hanna: Done! Time to paint the tape! Wooh! A two thousand Microsoft going in the hole!
[he places a ticket into a cylinder and goes over to Jordan]
Mark Hanna: Come on!
[Jordan ends his call and goes over to Hanna]
Mark Hanna: It’s alive, it’s alive. Hold on to that, it’s hot.
[he gives the cylinder to Jordan, he opens the hole in the wall where the pneumatic tube is]
Mark Hanna: In, in.
[Jordan places the cylinder into the tube]
Mark Hanna: Shut that motherf**ker. Shut it! Shut it!
[Jordan shuts the door]
Mark Hanna: Sold!


 

[later whilst at lunch with Hanna, Jordan watches Hanna as he does a rhythmic chant while pounding his chest, Jordan looks around him awkwardly as Hanna continues to pound his chest until he finishes]
Mark Hanna: Yeah.
[Hanna then hums to himself as he takes out a vial and snorts some cocaine, he offers some to Jordan]
Mark Hanna: Tootski?
Jordan Belfort: Oh, no. No, thank you though.
[the waiter comes over to their table]
Hector: Mr. Hanna, what can I bring for you on this glorious afternoon?
Mark Hanna: Well, Hector here’s the game plan. You’re going to bring us two Absolut martinis, you know how I like them, straight up.
[he gives Hector some money]
Mark Hanna: And then precisely in seven and one half minutes after that you’re going to bring us two more. And then two more after that every five minutes until one of us passes the f**k out.
[Jordan laughs]
Hector: Excellent strategy, sir.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, I’m good with water for now though. Thank you.
[to Hector]
Mark Hanna: It’s his first day on Wall Street, give him time.
[Hector chuckles and gives them the menus]
Mark Hanna: Thank you.
Hector: Mm-hmm.
Jordan Belfort: Thank you.
[Hector walks off]


 

Jordan Belfort: Mr. Hanna, you’re able to do drugs during the day and still function, still do your job?
Mark Hanna: Well, how the f**k else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friends.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
[Jordan laughs awkwardly]
Jordan Belfort: I got to say, I’m incredibly excited to be a part of your firm. I mean, the clients you have are absolutely…
Mark Hanna: F**k the clients. Your only responsibility is to put meat on the table. You got a girlfriend?
Jordan Belfort: I’m married. I have a wife, her name is Teresa. She cuts hair.
Mark Hanna: Congratulations.
Jordan Belfort: Thank you.


 

Mark Hanna: Think about Teresa. Name of the game, move the money from your clients pocket into your pocket.
Jordan Belfort: Right. But if you can make the clients money at the same time, it’s advantageous to everyone, correct?
Mark Hanna: No. Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody, I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffet or if you’re Jimmy Buffet, nobody knows if a stock is going to go up, down, sideways or in f**king circles, least of all stock brokers, right?
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Mark Hanna: It’s all a fugazi. Do you know what fugazi is?
Jordan Belfort: Fugazi, it’s a fake.
Mark Hanna: Yeah, fugazi, fogazi. It’s a wazi, it’s a woozi. It’s fairy dust. It doesn’t exist, it’s never landed, it is no matter, it’s not on the elemental charge. It’s not f**king real.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Mark Hanna: Alright?
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Mark Hanna: Stay with me.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.


 

Mark Hanna: We don’t create sh*t, we don’t build anything.
Jordan Belfort: No.
Mark Hanna: So if you got a client who brought stock at eight, and it now sits at sixteen, and he’s all f**king happy, he wants to cash it and liquidate and take his f**king money and run home. You don’t let him do that.
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
Mark Hanna: Because that would make it real.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Mark Hanna: No, what do you do? You get another brilliant idea, a special idea. Another situation, another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. And he will, every single time.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Mark Hanna: Because they’re f**king addicted. And then you just keep doing this, again, and again, and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he’s getting sh*t rich, which he is, on paper. But you and me, the brokers?
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Mark Hanna: We’re taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherf**ker.
Jordan Belfort: Right! That’s incredible, sir. I’m, I can’t tell you how excited I am.
Mark Hanna: You should be.


 

Mark Hanna: There’s two keys to success in the broker business. First of all, you got to stay relaxed.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Mark Hanna: You jerk off?
Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off, yeah.
Mark Hanna: How many times a week?
Jordan Belfort: Like, uh, three, three, three, four,three or four times, maybe five.
Mark Hanna: You got to pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I, myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.
Jordan Belfort: Wow.
Mark Hanna: Once in the morning, right after I work out, and then once right after lunch.
Jordan Belfort: Really?
Mark Hanna: Mm-hmm. Why? I want to. That’s not why I do it. I do it because I f**king need to.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Mark Hanna: Think about it, you’re dealing with numbers all day long. Decimal points, high frequencies, bang, bang, bang. Eh-eh-eh-eh. f**king digits kick, kick, kick, all very acidic above the shoulders mustard sh*t.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Mark Hanna: Right?
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.


 

Mark Hanna: The con can wig some people out.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Mark Hanna: Right? So you got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. And keep the rhythm below the belt.
Jordan Belfort: Done.
Mark Hanna: This is not a tip, this is a prescription. Trust me. If you don’t, you will fall out of balance. Glitch your differential and the tip f**k over. Or worse yet, I’ve seen this happen, implode.
Jordan Belfort: No, I don’t want to implode, sir.
Mark Hanna: No. No, you don’t.
Jordan Belfort: I’m in it for the long run, you know?
Mark Hanna: Yeah. Implosions are ugly.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Mark Hanna: Pop off to the bathroom, work one out anytime you can. And when you get really good at it, you’ll be f**king stroking it and you’ll be thinking about money.


 

Mark Hanna: Second key to success.
[he holds up his small vial of cocaine]
Mark Hanna: In this racket is this little baby right here, it’s called cocaine.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Mark Hanna: It will keep you sharp between the ears. It’ll also help your fingers dial faster. And guess what? That’s good for me.
[to the waiter that’s just come up to their table shaking his martini]
Mark Hanna: Yes, sir.
[to Jordan]
Mark Hanna: Revolutions, you follow?
Jordan Belfort: Revolutions.
Mark Hanna: Keep the client on the ferris wheel, and it goes, the park is open twenty-four, seven, three, six, five. Every decade, every Goddamn century. That’s it.
[they clink their glasses together to toast]
Mark Hanna: Name of the game.


 

[Jordan drinks from his glass of water as Hanna drinks his martini]
Mark Hanna: Halkidiki? Mmm.
Jordan Belfort: Thank you.
[Jordan takes an olive from the bowl of olives, then Hanna starts doing his rhythmic chant and pounding his chest, Jordan watches him awkwardly]
Mark Hanna: Come on.
[Jordan joins in and starts doing the same rhythmic chant and pounding his chest]
Mark Hanna: With a common denominator.
[they continue doing the rhythmic chant and pounding of their chests, Hanna stops to drink his martini]
Mark Hanna: Keep it up for me.
[Jordan continues the chanting and pounding of his chest, then Hanna starts to sing as Jordan does the chanting]
Mark Hanna: The CEO. How the money comes in. The parade comes to town. Going down Broadway. It’s a one way street, whichever way I go.


 

[we see Jordan in a strip club]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] For the next six months I got to know the ins and outs of Wall Street. Earning sh*t money as I geared up to take my series 7.
[we then see Jordan walking into his office building]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Then I was a licensed broker at last, ready to make my fortune. My first day as a future Master of the Universe.
[we see Jordan entering the elevator]


 

[October 19, 1987; Jordan is talking on the phone looking stressed, the whole office is up in chaos as all the brokers are on their phones]
Jordan Belfort: I have X on an eighty-six and a quarter from six month ago! Today it is turning thirty-six and a half! Mr. B…!
[Jordan slams down his phone and pounds his fist on his desk in frustration]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] They called it “Black Monday”. No sh*t, by 4 PM the market had dropped five hundred and eight points. The biggest plummet since the crash of ’29.
[he hears Hanna talking on the phone]
Mark Hanna: I know your family, you know mine! No, I don’t know, from some f**king country in Europe took a sh*t. Let them do what they want to f**king do. Our market’s solid.


 

[we see some of the brokers as they are talking on their phones]
Broker #1: This is not something that you want to sell!
Jerry Fogel: You know what happened? A f**king Tsunami.
Broker #1: I think you’re making a big mistake.
Jerry Fogel: Well, yes, I will talk to your wife. If you want me to.
Mark Hanna: Do not answer the phone. A lot of people are going to be calling you, trying to get your dirty laundry.
Broker #2: We don’t know what’s going on here.
Mark Hanna: I know, I know.


 

[suddenly the closing market bell rings and the whole office goes silent, the brokers look at each other in stunned silence]
Mark Hanna: Holy f**king sh*t.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Unbelievable. My first sh*tty day as a broker. Within a month, L.F. Rothschild, an institution since 1899, closed its doors. Wall Street had swallowed me up and sh*t me right back out again.


 

[in their apartment, Jordan is sat with Teresa at the kitchen table, Jordan is looking at the newspaper]
Teresa Petrillo: We could pawn my engagement ring, if we needed to.
Jordan Belfort: Babe.
Teresa Petrillo: Because I don’t mind. If we needed to, I’m saying. It’s…
Jordan Belfort: Will you listen to me.
Teresa Petrillo: Okay.
Jordan Belfort: You’re not pawning anything, okay?
Teresa Petrillo: Okay.
Jordan Belfort: What do I always tell you, huh?
Teresa Petrillo: You’re going to be a millionaire.
Jordan Belfort: That’s right, okay? So let me look, I’ll find something.


 

[looking at the newspaper]
Jordan Belfort: How about this?
Teresa Petrillo: What?
Jordan Belfort: “Nobody Beats the Wiz”, an electronic store. Stock boy. What do you think?
Teresa Petrillo: You’re not going to work at that place.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, but you know, you start off…
Teresa Petrillo: Jordan, you’re going to be miserable at that place if you go there.
Jordan Belfort: It’s sales, you work your way up.
Teresa Petrillo: Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: You’d be a general manager.
Teresa Petrillo: You’re not going to be a stock boy.
Jordan Belfort: Why not?
Teresa Petrillo: Because you’re a stock broker.
Jordan Belfort: Do you understand that nobody’s hiring stock brokers right now? You understand that? Okay?


 

[she scans the newspaper and finds an ad]
Teresa Petrillo: Ah, this place is.
Jordan Belfort: What?
Teresa Petrillo: What’s that say?
[Jordan reads the ad]
Jordan Belfort: Stock brokers.
[Teresa laughs]
Jordan Belfort: Long Island. Stock brokers in Long Island.
Teresa Petrillo: Yeah.


 

[Jordan turns up to the Investor Center looking professional dressed in his suit, as he enters the building he sees everyone is dressed casually and the place looks shabby]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, uh, I’m looking for an Investor’s Center?
[one of the brokers looks up]
Dwayne: What’s that, you want to invest?
Jordan Belfort: No, Investor’s Center. I’m looking for Investor Center?
Dwayne: Yeah, yeah, that’s us. Hi. This is it. This is it.
Jordan Belfort: Oh.
Dwayne: I’m Dwayne.
[Dwayne extends his hand]
Jordan Belfort: You’re Dwayne?
Dwayne: Yeah.
[Jordan shakes his hand]
Jordan Belfort: Alright, Dwayne. We spoke on the phone. I’m Jordan Belfort. I’m a broker from Rothschild from New York.
Dwayne: Yes. Yeah, have a seat. How are you?
Jordan Belfort: You remember, we had a conversation.
Dwayne: We spoke on phone the other day, right?
Jordan Belfort: Two hours ago.
Dwayne: Right, yeah.


 

[Jordan looks around at the other brokers, who are all dressed casually and look the opposite of what Jordan had seen in New York]
Jordan Belfort: So, uh, where are, where are your quotrons?
Dwayne: Quotrons?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, your computers.
Dwayne: No, no, no. We don’t even need computers here. We just trade right off the pink sheets here.
[he shows him one of the pink sheets]
Jordan Belfort: Pink sheets?
Dwayne: Yeah, they’re penny stocks. You know, companies that can’t get listed on NASDAQ, they don’t have enough capital, their shares trade here.
Jordan Belfort: Penny stocks?
Dwayne: Yeah. This on, uh, Aerotyne, is a really interesting,Aerotyne.
[looking at the pink sheet in Dwayne’s hand]
Jordan Belfort: Aerotyne, yeah.
Dwayne: Aero…Aerotyne.
Jordan Belfort: Aerotyne, huh? Yeah.
Dwayne: Very hot stock right now.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?


 

[Jordan takes the pink sheet from Dwayne and looks at it]
Dwayne: You know they’re just a couple of brothers that are making radar detectors out of their garage. They’re at Dubuque. Maybe its microwaves, I’m not sure. But if you call the company’s mainline, their mom, Dorothy, answers and she is so sweet.
Jordan Belfort: A company?
Dwayne: I actually don’t know what else to, I don’t know anything else about them other than that.
[he laughs]
Jordan Belfort: Six cents a share? Oh, come on. Who buys this crap?
Dwayne: Well, I mean, honestly mostly schmucks. Postmen, there’s always postmen. Uh,plumbers. Um, they see our ads in the back of Hustler and Popular Mechanics, and our ads actually say they can get rich quick.
[he laughs]


 

Jordan Belfort: Hustler?
Dwayne: Yeah. You know the girly magazine?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah. Nudie mag.
Dwayne: A lot.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Dwayne: We’re helping them finance, uh, houses, we’re helping them buy their wife a diamond ring, a boat maybe.
Jordan Belfort: Is this, is this, uh, is this stuff regulated, or are you guys…? What are you doing here?
Dwayne: Uh, sort of.
Jordan Belfort: Sort of?


 

[reading from the pink sheet]
Jordan Belfort: Jesus Christ, the spread on these is huge.
Dwayne: Yeah, and that’s the point. That’s… What’s your name again?
Jordan Belfort: My… Jordan Belfort.
Dwayne: Jordan, what do you get on that blue chip stock?
Jordan Belfort: I make one percent. Well, I did make one percent.
Dwayne: Pink sheets it’s fifty.
Jordan Belfort: It’s fifty percent? Fifty percent commission?
Dwayne: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: For what?
Dwayne: It’s our mark up for our services.
Jordan Belfort: So, if I sell a stock at ten thousand dollars, my commission is five thousand bucks?
Dwayne: If you sell ten thousand dollars worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blow job for free.
[Jordan laughs]
Dwayne: And I hope it happens.
[they both laugh]


 

[later, sat at a desk Jordan calls a potential investor about Aerotyne]
Jordan Belfort: Hello, John. How are you doing today? You mailed in my company a post card a few week back, requesting information on penny stocks that had huge upside potential with very little down side risks. Does that ring a bell?
John: Oh, yeah. I may have sent something.
Jordan Belfort: Okay, great. Well, the reason for the call today, John, is something just came across my desk, John. It is perhaps the best thing I’ve seen in the last six month. If you have sixty seconds I’d like to share the idea with you, you got a minute?
John: Actually, I’m really very busy…
Jordan Belfort: The name of the company, Aerotyne International, it is a cutting edge high tech firm out of the Midwest.
[we see a photo of the company, which is a shed at the back of a house]
Jordan Belfort: Awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications.


 

[everybody in the office stops what they’re doing to listen to Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Now, right now, John, the stock trades over the counter at ten cents a share. And by the way, John, our analyst indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Your profit, on a mere six thousand dollar investment would be upwards of sixty thousand dollars.
John: Jesus! That’s my mortgage, man.
Jordan Belfort: Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.
John: This stock will pay off my house.
Jordan Belfort: John, one thing I can promise you, even in this market, is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners. I ask them to judge me on my losers, because I have so few. And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run.
John: Okay, let’s do it. I’ll do four grand.
Jordan Belfort: Four thousand? That’d be forty thousand shares, John. Let me lock in that trade right now and get back to you with my secretary with an exact confirmation. Sound good, John?
John: Yeah, it sounds good.
Jordan Belfort: Great. Hey, John, thank you for your vote of confidence, and welcome to the Investor Center.
John: Yeah, thanks a lot, man. Thanks.
Jordan Belfort: Bye-bye.


 

[Jordan puts down the phone and everyone in the office stares at him in silence]
Toby Welch: How’d you f**king do that?
[they start clapping Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Just like that I made two grand. The other guys looked at me like I just discovered fire.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I was selling garbage to garbage men, and making cash hand over fist.
[talking on the phone to another investor]
Jordan Belfort: The only problem you’re going to have is that you didn’t buy more.
[Jordan slams down the phone]
Jordan Belfort: Boom shock!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] So I was selling them sh*t.
[waving his buy ticket to the other men in the office]
Jordan Belfort: Way to go!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket. I knew how to spend it better.


 

[we see Jordan’s new Jaguar parked outside a diner]
Donnie Azoff: Excuse me. It’s that your car in the lot?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: That’s a nice ride.
Jordan Belfort: Thanks, man.
Donnie Azoff: Donnie Azoff.
[inside the diner Donnie extends his hand to Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, Jordan Belfort. Nice to meet you.
Donnie Azoff: How are you doing?
[they shake hands]
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.


 

Donnie Azoff: You know, actually, I see that car around. I see it around a lot.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah. Where?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, I think we live in the same building.
Jordan Belfort: No sh*t?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, yeah. twelfth floor?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. What floor are you on?
Donnie Azoff: Fourth floor. Yeah, I have two little kids.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Donnie Azoff: Ugly wife.
[they both laugh]


 

Donnie Azoff: What you do, bro?
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean what do I do?
Donnie Azoff: For work, what do you do?
Jordan Belfort: I’m a stock broker.
Donnie Azoff: A stock broker?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: Children’s furniture.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, good for you.
Donnie Azoff: It’s alright. You make a lot of money?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I do alright for myself.
Donnie Azoff: I’m trying to put it together. You got your f**king nice car.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.


 

Donnie Azoff: We live in the same building. I’m just, I’m not understand… How much money do you make?
Jordan Belfort: I don’t know, seventy thousand last month.
[Donnie laughs]
Donnie Azoff: Get the f**k…! Get the f**k out of here.
Jordan Belfort: No, I’m serious.
Yeah, no, I’m serious too. Seriously, how much money do you make?
Jordan Belfort: Um, I told you, seventy thousand. Well, technically, seventy-two thousand last month. Something like that.
Donnie Azoff: You make seventy-two grand in a month?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
[Donnie looks at Jordan still not believing him]


 

Donnie Azoff: I tell you what. You show me a pay stub for seventy-two thousand dollars and I’ll quit my job right now and I work for you.
[Jordan gets his pay stub out of his briefcase and shows it to him; we then see Donnie outside the diner making a call to his boss, Jordan is sat beside him listening]
Donnie Azoff: Hey, Paulie. What’s up? No, yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. Hey, listen, I quit.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] And he did quit his job. Which I thought was a little weird. I mean, I just met this f**king guy.
Donnie Azoff: Don’t tell f**king Susan, it’s not her business.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] There were other things about him too, like his phosphorescent white teeth.
[Jordan looks at Donnie as he continues his conversation on the phone]
Donnie Azoff: Your wife? I got to f**king deal with you wife?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The fact that he wore horn rims with clear lenses just to look more Waspy. Then there were these rumors.


 

[Jordan and Donnie are sat in a bar having a drink]
Jordan Belfort: I heard some stupid sh*t. I don’t know, I don’t know. Look, I didn’t even want to bring it up. It’s just stupid.
Donnie Azoff: Is it to do with me?
Jordan Belfort: You know, people say sh*t. I don’t even know, I didn’t even listen to them half the time.
Donnie Azoff: What do they say?
Jordan Belfort: This stuff, sh*t about you and your cousin or something like that. I don’t even listen to it. It doesn’t even…
Donnie Azoff: No, it’s not like that. No, it’s not like that.
Jordan Belfort: No, I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid sh*t. No?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife, yeah. My wife is my cousin or whatever, but it’s not like what you think, whatever. You know?
Jordan Belfort: Is she like, uh, your first cousin or is she…?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, no. She, her father is the, is the brother of my mom.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.


 

Donnie Azoff: It’s not like, what, you know? Look, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know? She f**king grew up hot and all my friends were trying to f**k her, you know? And I was like I’m not going to let someone, you know, one of these a**holes f**k my cousin. So, you know, I use the cousin thing as like, like an in with her.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah.
Donnie Azoff: I’m not going to let someone else f**k my cousin, you know? If anyone’s going to f**k my cousin it’s going to be me, out of respect, you know?
Jordan Belfort: No, I get it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you’re not afraid of like, the whole kid thing, right? Like the whole…
Donnie Azoff: What having kids with her?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: No, we have two kids.
Jordan Belfort: And they’re, I mean, I don’t mean, I don’t want to get personal, but are they, like, okay?
Donnie Azoff: No, they’re not retarded or anything like that.
Jordan Belfort: But there’s a big chance, right?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, no.
Jordan Belfort: The whole…
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, there’s like a sixty percent, you know, sixty to sixty-five percent chance the kids going to be f**king retarded or whatever.
Jordan Belfort: That would scare the sh*t out of me, buddy.
Donnie Azoff: Look, man, a lot can happen to having a kid, or whatever, takes risk whether you’re f**king cousins or not.
Jordan Belfort: What if you, I mean, what if something like that happened?
Donnie Azoff: I basically, you know, if the kid was retarded, I would, I would, you know, drive it up to the country and just like, you know, open the door and say, “You’re free now”, you know, like, run free. You know?
[Jordan looks at him for a moment before they both start laughing]


 

Donnie Azoff: I’m completely f**king with you, bro.
Jordan Belfort: That’s horrible. You’re not going to do that?
Donnie Azoff: No. You looked like you f**king… No. We would take it to like an institution or somewhere that’s handled to like, you know, raise the kid or whatever.
Jordan Belfort: You know what? If you’re happy, God bless you, buddy.
Donnie Azoff: No, I’m not f**king happy. No one who’s married is f**king happy.
[they both laugh]
Jordan Belfort: Well, I’m sorry to hear that, buddy.


 

Donnie Azoff: Listen, I’m really, you know, I’m really appreciative of this f**king job. I’m really enjoying it.
Jordan Belfort: I’m really happy with what you’re doing.
Donnie Azoff: Actually, I, uh, I got you a present.
Jordan Belfort: You got me a present?
Donnie Azoff: I got you something, yeah.
Jordan Belfort: That’s f**king sweet.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, it’s in back the back though.
Jordan Belfort: What you mean it’s…?
Donnie Azoff: You got to go out back.
Jordan Belfort: Like it’s wrapped up or something?
Donnie Azoff: It’s wrapped up, yeah.
Jordan Belfort: I don’t get it.
Donnie Azoff: Neither do I, let’s f**king go. Come on.


 

[at the back of the bar Donnie smokes some crack]
Donnie Azoff: Your turn.
Jordan Belfort: I’m not f**king doing this! Are you out of your f**king mind?
Donnie Azoff: It’s good f**king sh*t, bro.
[Jordan hears something, looks around and gets up to leave]
Jordan Belfort: No!
Donnie Azoff: No one is f**king here, bro! Get the f**k back.
[he pulls Jordan back to sit next to him]
Donnie Azoff: Just f**king smoke crack with me, bro.
Jordan Belfort: I’m not f**king doing it.
Donnie Azoff: F**king smoke crack. Smoke some f**king crack with me, bro.
Jordan Belfort: One hit. One hit, that’s it.
Donnie Azoff: Smoke.


 

[Jordan takes the crack from Donnie]
Donnie Azoff: Smoke. Smoke.
[Jordan lights it up and to takes a hit and instantly loves it]
Jordan Belfort: Wow! Wow!
[they both laugh]
Jordan Belfort: Let’s go, Don. We got to get out of here, buddy. We got to get out of here, let’s go f**king run! Let’s run like we’re f**king lions and tigers and bears! Let’s go! Let’s f**king run!
[Donnie gets up and starts running off]
Jordan Belfort: Let’s f**king run! Go!
[Jordan steps outside and starts running, following Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: Go! Go! Go! Go!


 

[Jordan and Donnie pull up outside an auto body shop, we then hear Jordan calling the shop and leaving a message]
Voice Message: You’ve reached Frank Best’s Auto Body. We’re closed right now, so please leave us a message.
Jordan Belfort: Hello, my name is Jordan Belfort. Uh, my partner and I are very interested in renting out your garage.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Donnie and I were going out on our own and the first thing we needed was brokers, guys with sales experience. So I recruited some of my home town boys. Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed. Chester, who sold tires and weed. And Robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on, mostly weed.


 

[we see Jordan’s friends sat in a diner eating]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] This is Brad, and Brad’s the guy I really wanted, but he didn’t go along with us. He was already making so much money selling Quaaludes, he’d become the Quaalude King of Bayside.
[we see Brad selling Quaalude to some teenage boys from his back yard, he points to one of the boy’s crotch with his baseball bat]
Brad: You get any pussy with that thing or what?
Zip: Yeah, man. Of course, man.
Brad: Bring some of them chicks around here sometime, huh? Let them watch. Let them watch. Know what I mean?


 

[he flexes his arm muscle]
Brad: Hey, Zip? You tell your sister I was asking about her. Would you bring me a pair of her panties next time you come through.
Zip: Yeah, man, she said she didn’t want to talk to you anymore, man.
Brad: Get the f**k out of here.
[pauses for a moment then shouts]
Brad: Hey, Ma, we got chicken or what? Ma!


 

[back at the diner we see Jordan is sat with his friends]
Jordan Belfort: You listening? It’s easier than you think. Every person you’re on the phone with, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. They all want something for nothing.
Sea Otter: There was this one time that I was selling a pot to this Amish dude. You know those guys, he got like the bear with like no mustache or some bullsh*t.
Robbie Feinberg: Yeah, yeah.
Sea Otter: Well he says that he only wants to make furniture.
Robbie Feinberg: I don’t understand.
Chester Ming: What’s that got to do with anything?
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k are you talking about?
Sea Otter: I’m not putting words in your mouth or nothing, but you just said that everybody wants to get rich.
Robbie Feinberg: Holy f**k, you did just say that.
Chester Ming: Yeah, you did just say that.
Jordan Belfort: What are you, what the f**k are you talking about?
Sea Otter: Yeah, like Buddhists. They don’t give a sh*t about money, they’re wrapped in sheets. They’re not buying sh*t.
Jordan Belfort: I’m not talking about Buddhists or Amish, I’m talking about normal people. Working class, everyday people. Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy?
Chester Ming: There is no such thing as Amish Buddhist, I’m pretty f**king sure.
Jordan Belfort: No, I didn’t.
Robbie Feinberg: Yeah, there could be. There could be.
[to the passing waitress]
Brad: Could I get some ketchup, please.
Jordan Belfort: I didn’t say Amish Buddhist. Am I f**k, do you guys not want to make money?
Robbie Feinberg: I want to make some f**king money.
Sea Otter: No! I want to make money.


 

Jordan Belfort: Do you guys want to f**king make money?
Chester Ming: I want to make some f**king money, okay? I could sell anything. Sh*t, I could sell lubes to a convent full of nuns and get them so horny they’d be f**king each other.
Jordan Belfort: That’s the attitude, you can sell anything? Sell me this f**king pen, right here. You can sell anything? Sell that, go ahead.
[he takes a pen from his jacket and offers it to Chester]
Jordan Belfort: Sell me that pen.
Chester Ming: Can I finish eating first? I haven’t eaten tonight.
Jordan Belfort: Brad, show them how it’s done.
[he offers the pen to Brad]
Jordan Belfort: Sell me that pen? Watch. Go on.


 

[Brad takes the pen from Jordan]
Brad: You want me to sell this f**king pen?
Jordan Belfort: That’s my boy right there.
Brad: This pen.
Jordan Belfort: F**king sell anything.
Brad: I want you to do me a favor, write your name on that napkin for me.
Jordan Belfort: I don’t have a pen.
Brad: Exactly. Supplying and demand, my friend.
[he drops the pen in front of Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: See what I’m saying. He’s creating urgency by getting them to want to buy the stock. He gets them to think it’s something that they need. You know what I mean?
Sea Otter: That’s the thing. All nuns are lesbians.
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k are you talking about?!
Chester Ming: What are you talking about, Otter?
Robbie Feinberg: Yeah, I think that’s true. I think that’s right.
Sea Otter: Yeah, think about it. They can’t get dudes so they got to start…
[suddenly Brad throws the empty bottle of ketchup to the floor in anger]
Brad: Four f**king times! Give me four times.
[finally the waitress comes to their table with the full bottle of ketchup]


 

[we see Jordan’s friends working for him now at the auto body shop]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Look, I knew these guys weren’t like Harvard MBA’s. Robbie Feinberg “The Pinhead” took five years to finish high school. Alden Kupferberg “The Sea Otter” didn’t even graduate. Chester Ming “The Depraved Chinaman” thought Jujitsu was in Israel. The smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff, he actually went to law school. I called him “Rugrat” because of his piece of sh*t hair piece. Still, give them to me young, hungry and stupid, and in no time I’ll make them rich.


 

[Jordon gives Teresa a diamond bracelet]
Teresa Petrillo: Oh, my God. Jordan that…
Jordan Belfort: You like it, baby?
Teresa Petrillo: That’s, yeah, it’s beautiful.
Jordan Belfort: They’re not the biggest stones in the world, but I promise they’re really high quality.
Teresa Petrillo: No, it’s beautiful. They’re so beautiful.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, boy.
Teresa Petrillo: What?
Jordan Belfort: I know that look. What is it? Go ahead.
Teresa Petrillo: I don’t know. It’s, you know,these stocks, at these companies, they’re like crappy companies.
Jordan Belfort: Well, yeah.
Teresa Petrillo: Okay.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, they’re terrible.
[they both smile]


 

Jordan Belfort: Don’t worry about it. I told you, what I’m doing is completely legal.
Teresa Petrillo: Yeah, I know. But they’re like not going to make any more money though, right?
Jordan Belfort: Well sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. You know how it goes.
Teresa Petrillo: Yeah, wouldn’t you feel better if you sold that stuff to rich people who can like afford to lose all that money?
Jordan Belfort: Of course. But rich people don’t buy penny stocks, they just don’t.
Teresa Petrillo: Why not?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Because they’re too smart, that’s why not.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I mean, what person with a collage education would trust this bunch of jerk-offs.
[we see Jordan’s friends making calls in the auto body shop that’s set up as their office]
Donnie Azoff: Hang up the phone and tell him you’ll call him back!
Nicky Koskoff: I got five f**king grand on the phone right now!
Donnie Azoff: Hey!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] But what if they didn’t sound like a bunch of jerk-offs? What if I could teach them how to sell to the people with money? Real money. So I decided to reinvent the company.
[Jordan reveals their new company sign “Stratton Oakmont, Inc.” to his brokers]
Jordan Belfort: Gentleman, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting the wealthiest one percent of Americans. I’m talking about whales here. Moby f**king d**ks. And with this script, which is now your new harpoon.


 

[he holds up the script]
Jordan Belfort: I’m going to teach each and everyone of you to be Captain f**king Ahab. Get it? Huh?
Robbie Feinberg: Captain who?
Jordan Belfort: Captain Ahab, from the f**king…
Donnie Azoff: The book, you motherf**ker.
Jordan Belfort: The book, you motherf**ker! From the book!
Nicky Koskoff: Turn your f**king brain on!
Robbie Feinberg: F**k you!
Jordan Belfort: Listen to me. We’re a new company with a new name. A company that our clients can believe in. A company that our clients can trust. A firm whose roots are so deeply embedded to Wall Street that our very founders sailed over on the Mayflower and chiseled the name Stratton Oakmont right into Plymouth f**king rock! You got it?
[his broker friends laugh]


 

Jordan Belfort: What we’re going to do is this. First we pitch them Disney, AT&T, IBM, blue chips stocks exclusively. Companies these people know. Once we’ve suckered them in, we unload the dog sh*t, the pink sheets, the penny stocks, where we make the money. Fifty percent commission, baby. Now the key to making money in a situation like this is to position yourself now before the settlement. Because by the time you read about it in the Wall Street Journal, it’s already too late. Then you wait, you wait, and whoever speaks first loses.
[Jordan is on a call to a potential client to demonstrate to his brokers, who are all listening in]
Client: Sorry, uh, I appreciate the call. I really have to give this some thought and, uh, talk to my wife about it. Um, can I call you back?
back to Jordan training his brokers
Jordan Belfort: They don’t know, right? They got to think about it, they got to talk to their f**king wives, the f**king tooth fairy. The point is, it doesn’t matter what the f**k they say. The only real objection that they have is that they don’t trust you guys. And why should they trust you, I mean, looked at you. You’re bunch of f**king sleazy salesman, right?
[his broker friends laugh]
Jordan Belfort: So, what do you say?


 

[we see Jordan’s broker friends learning sell to potential clients on the phone using Jordan’s script]
Sea Otter: You mean, you’re telling me that if I put you in Union Carbide at seven and took you out at thirty-two…
Robbie Feinberg: Texas Instruments at eleven and took you out at forty-seven…
Jordan Belfort: You are still at sixteen, took you out at forty-one…
Chester Ming: You wouldn’t be saying to me right now, Chester, pick me up a few thousand shares of Disney on the spot, right now. Come on.
Jordan Belfort: I mean, honestly, Kevin, honestly, seriously?
Client: I don’t know you. You cold called me, you’re a total stranger.
Chester Ming: I’m in complete agreement with you. You don’t know me, I don’t know you.
Sea Otter: So let me take a moment to reintroduce myself to you. My name is Alden Kupferberg.


 

Robbie Feinberg: Robbie Feinberg.
Chester Ming: Chester Ming.
Sea Otter: I’m senior vice-president in Stratton Oakmont…
Chester Ming: And I plan being one of the…
Robbie Feinberg: Top brokers at my firm next year.
Sea Otter: And I’m not going to get there by being wrong, Stanley.
[back to Jordan with his call to the potential client]
Client: I didn’t want to say that, you sound like, uh, you sound like a pretty sincere guy.
[Jordan’s friends laugh as they listen in, then it’s back to his friends following the script as they talk to clients on the phone]
Sea Otter: It’s not going to make you rich and it’s not going to make you poor. But what this trade will do is serve as a…
Jordan Belfort: …benchmark for future business, Kevin.
Chester Ming: Do you feel comfortable with me now, Scot?


 

[back to Jordan talking to the potential client with his broker friends listening in behind him]
Jordan Belfort: And then you’ll know for sure that you finally found a broker on Wall Street that you can trust, and who can consistently make you money. Sound fair enough?
Jordan silently gives the client on the phone two fingers and mouths the words “f**k you”
Client: Uh, yeah. You’re, I got to say, I’m pretty impressed. What do you…? I don’t know, what do you think?
[as Jordan replies to the client he makes fun of the client by making sexual gestures which makes his friends laugh silently behind him]
Jordan Belfort: Kevin, you give me one shot here on a blue chips stock like Kodak. And believe me, Kevin, the only problem you’re going to have, is that you didn’t buy more. Sound fair enough?
Client: Sh*t, well. Uh, my wife might divorce me, but yeah, let’s do it. Oh, yeah.
[Jordan makes another sexual gesture which makes his friends laugh]


 

Jordan Belfort: Excellent choice, Kevin. How much do you want to go for this time?
Client: Let’s do five, five thousand dollars to start.
Jordan Belfort: Let’s try eight thousand dollars, Kevin.
Client: Alright, let’s do ten.
Jordan Belfort: Ten!
Client: Do you want to do that?
Jordan Belfort: Excellent choice. Kevin, let me lock-in that trade right now and get back to you in a few minutes with an exact confirmation, Kevin. And welcome to Stratton Oakmont.
[Jordan gives the client two fingers again]
Client: Thanks, man. I’m going to have a beer, alright. This was fun.
[Jordan’s friends are all laughing behind him]
Jordan Belfort: Take it easy, Kev.
Client: Hey, uh, thanks Jordan. Thanks a lot…
[Jordan cuts off the call]
Jordan Belfort: F**k that motherf**ker!
[they all laugh]
Jordan Belfort: What a f**king idiot!


 

[we see Stratton Oakmont move from the garage to respectful looking offices now full of brokers; talking to a potential clients on the phone]
Donnie Azoff: The one thing I know about in this world is airlines, and Kushan Airlines is the future of airlines. Get in now while it’s…
[both are following Jordan’s script]
Nicky Koskoff: My name is Nicky Koskoff
Chester Ming: Chester Ming…
Nicky and Chester: …and I’m a Senior Vice President with Stratton Oakmont.
Nicky Koskoff: Julie, I’m so, so, so sorry for your loss. When did he pass?
Sea Otter: Just say I’m wrong, right? And the stock goes down…
Kimmie Belzer: …in the words of my grandfather, God rest his soul, is a sh*t ton of money. And that’s not necessa…
Donnie Azoff: It’s like getting in on f**king sunlight before there was f**king sunlight, do you understand?


 

[to Otter]
Client #1: Can we do eight thousand shares?
[to Robbie]
Client #2: Okay, twenty-five thousand.
[we see Robbie and Otter both silently celebrating; to his client]
Robbie Feinberg: That was a very intelligent decision, I’m going to transfer you to my fields associate.
[calling out to his associate]
Robbie Feinberg: Rhonda! Rhonda!
Kimmie Belzer: I’m going to put you through to Andrea.
Robbie Feinberg: Has anybody f**king seen Rhonda?
[the closing market bell rings and the whole office cheers]


 

[after the market bell rings Jordan addresses his brokers standing at front speaking into the microphone]
Jordan Belfort: Everybody have a good week?
[the brokers all cheer]
Jordan Belfort: End of the month, twenty-eight-point-seven million in gross commissions, all from pink sheet stock, boys!
[the brokers cheer and applaud]
Jordan Belfort: And to celebrate with our weekly act of debauchery, I have offered our lovely sales assistant, Danielle Harrison here, ten thousand dollars to shave her f**king head! Yeah!
[everyone cheers, we see one broker grab hold of Danielle’s hair]
Jordan Belfort: Do you want this? Do you want this?! Let’s get the party started! Let the scalping begin!
[Danielle’s hair is shaved off using clippers]
Jordan Belfort: Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp! Scalp!
[everybody cheers and chants as Danielle’s hair is shaved off]


 

Jordan Belfort: FYI, boys, Danielle’s promised to use this ten thousand dollars for breast implants. She’s already got C cups, but now she wants f**king double D! Is this a great f**king company or what? Is this the greatest company in the world?
[Danielle’s hair is continued to be shaved off as the whole office cheers on]
Jordan Belfort: Blow the roof off this motherf**ker!
[the whole office explodes with applause and cheers then the marching band enters the office wearing only hats and underwear, then champagne is brought in for everyone]
Jordan Belfort: Strippers in please!
[strippers enter the office as everybody celebrates]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Word about us spread throughout Wall Street, even to places I didn’t wanted it to.
[we see the FBI, specifically Agent Patrick Denham gathering information about Jordan and his group of broker friends]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It wasn’t long before Forbes Magazine, the flagship of Wall Street called to do a profile on me.
[we see Jordan being interviewed by a Forbes reporter]
Aliyah Farran: Let me ask you, how do you see the future for Stratton Oakmont?
Jordan Belfort: One word; diversification.
Aliyah Farran: Sounds good. Thank you so much. I have more than enough, I appreciate your time.
Jordan Belfort: Fantastic.
[they shake hands]
Aliyah Farran: Can we get a quick picture?
[Jordan poses for the picture shaking hands with the reporter and we see a photo appear with the headline “The Wolf of Wall Street”]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] A total f**king hatchet job.


 

[in their apartment Jordan shows the article to Teresa]
Jordan Belfort: This conniving little twat! Look at this. “The Wolf of Wall Street,” they call me. Look!
Teresa Petrillo: Your hair looks good.
Jordan Belfort: My hair looks good.
Teresa Petrillo: Yeah.
[reading from the article]
Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort, sounding like a kind of twisted Robin Hood, who takes from the rich and gives to himself and his merry little band of brokers. Read that, read it.
[he places the article in front of Teresa]
Teresa Petrillo: Listen, there is no such thing as bad publicity, sweetheart.
Jordan Belfort: Read the article, babe. Read it.
Teresa Petrillo: Jordan, you look great. You’re in a huge magazine.
Jordan Belfort: Big f**king deal! I look good.


 

[later as Jordan goes to work he’s met by a crowd of young men who all want him to look at their resume]
Jordan Belfort: What’s all this?
Janet: It’s the Forbes article, they all want to work for you now.
[one of the men jumps forward to approach Jordan]
Janet: Hey! What did I say?
Jordan Belfort: Guys. Guys, give me a minute.
[shouting at the group of men]
Janet: Hey! You want a job, you talk to me!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Forbes made me a superstar. Everyday, dozens of money-crazed kids beat a path to my door. If we hired them, they dropped straight out of college overnight and spent whatever allowance they had on a new suit from our Stratton tailor.


 

[Jordan walks around the office watching his brokers getting measured up for suits]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I mean we were literally putting clothes on these kids backs, and here comes this jerk off sniffing around.
[we see Patrick Denham sat in his office reading the Forbes article on Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] But you know, every time someone rises up in this world there’s always going to be some a**hole trying to drag him down. Within months we doubled in size, moved to even bigger offices. It was a mad house. A greed fest, with equal parts cocaine, testosterone and body fluids.
[we see the debauched action of the brokers in the office, two brokers snort cocaine in a toilet stall, then we see another two brokers have sex perched on the bathroom sink]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It got so bad, I had to declare the office a f**k free zone between the hours of nine and seven. But I’m telling you, even that didn’t help.
[a group of brokers cheer as they watch another broker getting a blowjob in a glass elevator]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Actually the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers Ben Jenner, Christened the elevator by getting a blowjob from a sales assistant. Her name was Pam and to her credit, she did have this amazing technique with this wild, twist and jerk motion. About a month later, Donnie and I decided to double team on a Saturday afternoon while our wives were out shopping for Christmas dresses.


 

[we see as Pam gives Jordan a blowjob, Donnie is having sex with her from behind]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Eventually Ben married her, which was pretty amazing considering she blew every single guy in the office.
[we see wedding photos of Ben and Pam]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Then he got depressed and killed himself three years later.
[we see a photo of Ben’s arm sticking out of the bathtub filled with blood where he’d killed himself]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Anyway, I hired my Dad, Max to maintain order as The Enforcer. Stratton’s very own Gestapo. We called him Mad Max because of his hair trigger temper, which could be set off by something as innocuous as a ringing telephone.
[we see Jordan’s dad sat watching “The Equalizer” on TV with his wife when the phone rings]
Max Belfort: Who the f**k has the Goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? Goddamn it!
[reluctantly Max gets up to answer the phone]
Leah Belfort: You’re going to missed it!
Max Belfort: Oh, please, tell me something I don’t know! I wait all week for The f**king Equalizer and they have to f**king…!
[he picks up the phone and answers in a very polite voice]
Max Belfort: Hello?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] But as soon as he picked up the phone.
Max Belfort: Jean? How are you, Jean?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] He’d effect this weird British accent.
Max Belfort: Righto, Jean. That’d be great. Cheerio.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was absolutely bizarre.
[as soon as Max ends the call he starts yelling in his normal American accent]
Max Belfort: F**king halfwit!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] He’d hang up and then he’s Mad Max all over again.
Leah Belfort: You missed it!
Max Belfort: Damn it!


 

[Max goes back to his seat]
Max Belfort: Right, tell me what happened? What happened?
Leah Belfort: Well, he discovered it was the mother’s sister.
Max Belfort: Who’s he? Who? Tell me who he is?
Leah Belfort: The main guy! You know who the main guy…
Max Belfort: The main guy…
Leah Belfort: It was his mother’s sister, she showed up dead.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Of course, Mad Max didn’t have to know everything we were doing at Stratton.
[Jordan holds up a headshot of a Dwarf]
Jordan Belfort: And then there’s a big target and we, they get launched at the target, they stick.
Nicky Koskoff: There’s a bullseye and the bullseye is a dollar sign. Whoever gets closer to the dollar sign gets the most points.
Jordan Belfort: I’m going to throw the sh*t out of this little f**king thing.
Robbie Feinberg: Yeah, you should f**king toss him.
Jordan Belfort: So, if he gets hurt, what happens? Because we’re going to go f**king nuts.
Robbie Feinberg: I don’t think he’s going to get hurt, they’re like, they got like super human strength. I think he’s going to be fine.


 

Donnie Azoff: You can’t look him, uh, right in the eyes either.
Jordan Belfort: You can’t look him at in the eye?
Donnie Azoff: No.
Nicky Koskoff: That’s a fact, I saw it on PBS.
Donnie Azoff: They get confused and their wires get crossed. You got to look like, at the chin, like it looks like I’m looking at you, but I’m looking at your chin.
Nicky Koskoff: Yeah. I feel like you addressing me right now, but you’re not, are you?
Donnie Azoff: They’re like the Mona Lisa. The find eye contact, like where ever you’re standing in the room, and then they lock it, you know.
Jordan Belfort: Okay. Okay. No, but there is a limit to what we could do with them. I mean, we’re allowed to throw sh*t at them.
Nicky Koskoff: Yes.
Jordan Belfort: We’re allowed to throw food, bananas.
Nicky Koskoff: Any food. Crackers.
Jordan Belfort: But, for example, what I wouldn’t do is maybe like tell him to pull his c**k out, and like to get some of the girls to, you know? Fondle them and sh*t like that. I mean, that would be, that’s unacceptable.
Robbie Feinberg: I mean, let’s keep that in our back pocket. But this guy is more about throwing at the dartboard?
Nicky Koskoff: Correct. Yes, yes, yes.


 

Nicky Koskoff: The thing is, this is their gift, okay? They’re built to be thrown like a long dart. They’re top heavy like a long dart, so they’re built for accuracy.
Robbie Feinberg: Oh, my God. This is, can we bowl with this guy?
Nicky Koskoff: That’s his f**king brother, Robbie. He brother’s the bowling ball.
Robbie Feinberg: The brother, you put a skateboard on him, you strap him to a skateboard, you toss him down on alley at some pins.
Jordan Belfort: No, sh*t. That’s interesting.
Robbie Feinberg: Swear to f**king God. Can we get that guy?
Jordan Belfort: Can we get him? Can we get him too?
Nicky Koskoff: We can get, we’ll get that guy too. But it says here, this guy will show his c**k. Yeah, instead of growing up.
Jordan Belfort: He will?
Nicky Koskoff: Yeah. They are very ornery, by the way, so you got to be very careful with these little guys. Safety first.
Jordan Belfort: Safety is first, alright? I want somebody with a f**king tranquilizer gun, ready to knock this f**ker out.
Nicky Koskoff: Yes.
Robbie Feinberg: Do we want to get like a…
Jordan Belfort: Mace tasers gun.
Robbie Feinberg: Like a pellet gun maybe? Just like to ding him.
Jordan Belfort: No, pellet gun is going to hurt him. I just want him out, knocked out cold.
Robbie Feinberg: Yeah, okay.


 

Nicky Koskoff: I say we stick with the loophole, right? Okay? If we don’t considered him a human, we just consider it an act, I think we’re in the clear, like The Flying Wallendas? You know, a lot of those guys died, but they never sued anybody.
Donnie Azoff: The important thing you guys got to keep in mind is that these things gossip, they get together and they gossip.
Jordan Belfort: It’s a good point.
Donnie Azoff: And the last thing that we need is them getting together and saying “Oh, listen, they made fun of us.” Like, it’s going to make Stratton look bad. That to me…
Jordan Belfort: That’s why I love you. You think of sh*t like that.
Donnie Azoff: Well, that is…
Jordan Belfort: They come in, we treat it just like one of us, okay?
Nicky Koskoff: That’s, that’s…
[Jordan starts chanting]
Jordan Belfort: One of us, gooble, gobble, one of us.


 

[the others join in the chanting]
Jordan, Donnie, Nicky, Robbie: We accept them they’re one of us! Gooble, gobble, one of us! We accept them they’re one of us. Gooble, gobble, one of us!
[Janet opens the door to the meeting room and yells]
Janet: Jordan!
[they stop chanting and Jordan turns to her]
Janet: Your Dad’s coming. Something about the American Express bill?
Jordan Belfort: Hey, can you get him out of here? I’m not…
Janet: Yeah, lick my twat.
[Janet closes the door and walks off]
Jordan Belfort: No, I’m serious! Get…


 

[noticing his father coming towards the meeting]
Jordan Belfort: F**k! Okay, guys, act like we’re working on stuff.
Nicky Koskoff: You got any f**king stock forms?
[Jordan sees Max stomping towards them and they all straighten up]
Jordan Belfort: Okay, he’s coming, he’s coming. Make some sh*t up.
[as Max opens the door they pretend to be holding a serious meeting]
Nicky Koskoff: So I think we’ll be short visor…
Four hundred and thirty thousand dollars in one month, Jordy?! Huh? Four hundred and f**king thirty thousand f**king dollars in one f**king month!
Jordan Belfort: Good morning. They’re business expenses, relax!
Max Belfort: Business expenses?
Jordan Belfort: Yes.
Max Belfort: Jordy, look what you got here!
Jordan Belfort: What?


 

[he holds out the piece of paper]
Max Belfort: Look at this! Twenty-six thousand dollars for one f**king dinner!
Jordan Belfort: Okay. No. No, no. This could be explained. Dad, we had a client, we had Visa…
Nicky Koskoff: Visa client.
Jordan Belfort: The Visa client.
Nicky Koskoff: Right, the Porter House from Argentina.
Jordan Belfort: The expensive champagne and the wine.
[to Max]
Jordan Belfort: We had to buy champagne and…
[to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: And you ordered all the f**king sides. Tell him about the sides you ordered.
Donnie Azoff: I ordered sides, sir.
Max Belfort: Sides?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah.
Max Belfort: Sides? Twenty-six thousand dollars worth of sides?! What are these sides? Do they cure cancer?
Donnie Azoff: The sides did cure cancer, that’s the problem. They were, that’s why they were expensive.
[Jordan laughs]
Jordan Belfort: Shut the f**k up!
Donnie Azoff: I’m serious, I know.
Jordan Belfort: Stop!


 

Max Belfort: An EJ Entertainment. What the f**k is EJ Entertainment?
[Donnie, Nicky and Robbie burst out laughing]
Jordan Belfort: Well, that’s, uh…
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, Jordan, what’s EJ entertainment?
Jordan Belfort: How do I describe this?
Donnie Azoff: Jord, what is that?
Max Belfort: It’s a f**king prostitution ring, Jordy!
Jordan Belfort: I know.
Max Belfort: That’s what it is!
Jordan Belfort: That’s, that’s, that is what it is.
Max Belfort: Isn’t that the perfect description for it?
Jordan Belfort: That is what it is, but none of these were charged to me. This is all of them and I have nothing to do with it.
Donnie Azoff: Oh, that was all of us?
Jordan Belfort: It wasn’t me though. f**king explain this sh*t to him! These are all of your f**king charges, right here!


 

Donnie Azoff: You guys, the IRS, they allow for T and A, it’s fine.
Max Belfort: T and E. T and E.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, I said T and E.
Max Belfort: No, no. You said T and A.
Donnie Azoff: No, I didn’t.
Max Belfort: Yeah, you did. You did.
Donnie Azoff: When did I say that?
Max Belfort: You said T and A. It’s T and E, alright?
Donnie Azoff: I know you’re upset about the dinner and that make sense because we did spend too much money, but I said T and E.
Max Belfort: Don’t tell me what you said, I heard what you said! I…
Jordan Belfort: Dad, he said T and A.
Max Belfort: He did. He said T and A.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, absolutely, no question. I heard it.


 

Donnie Azoff: Look, I’m trying too…
Max Belfort: I’m getting this close.
Jordan Belfort: I’m f**king sweating.
Max Belfort: I’m getting this close.
Jordan Belfort: Dad, relax!
Max Belfort: I’m getting this close!
Donnie Azoff: That’s what I’m saying! I want you to open up more, Max?
Jordan Belfort: He’s going to f**king kill you.
Donnie Azoff: Why do you hold it in?
Max Belfort: What do you…
Donnie Azoff: Max. Max, why do you hold it in?
Max Belfort: That’s it. That’s it! Get the f**k out!
[as Max goes to grab Jordan the others stop him]
Donnie Azoff: No, no, no, no! Hold on!
Jordan Belfort: Get out a**hole!
[as Jordan, Robbie and Nicky go to take Donnie out of the office, Max looks at the bill again]
Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
Donnie Azoff: A rich one!


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] At Stratton, there were three kinds of hookers; the blue chips, top of the line, model material. They cost between three and five hundred and you had to wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which of course I always did. Then came the NASDAQs, who are pretty, not great. They cost between two and three hundred bucks. Finally, there were the pink sheets skanks. They cost about a hundred or less, and if you didn’t wear a condom, you’d have to get a penicillin shot the next day and pray your d**k didn’t fall off. Not that we didn’t f**k them too. Believe me, we did.
[back in Jordan’s office, as he goes to sit he winces in pain]
Jordan Belfort: Ow! It’s that slipped disc thing again.
Max Belfort: I know what it is, you know too much, uh…
[he pumps his fist indicating Jordan’s having too much sex]
Max Belfort: …with EJ Entertainment.
[Jordan laughs]


 

Jordan Belfort: Pops.
Max Belfort: How are things at home?
Jordan Belfort: Well, not the best. She just doesn’t, you know what I’m saying? It’s like this smell, there’s a smell, there’s attraction thing and after a while it just kind of fades away a little bit.
Max Belfort: Yeah, well it’s supposed to fade away.
Jordan Belfort: Supposed to?
Max Belfort: That’s marriage, you know?
Jordan Belfort: That’s, uh…
Max Belfort: Your mother and I, we’ve been married a long long time.
Jordan Belfort: I know.
Max Belfort: What do you think? We’re, we’re, we’re jumping into bed every two minutes? It doesn’t work that way.
Jordan Belfort: I don’t want, I love her to death. I want to stay married, Dad, but, uh…


 

[whispering]
Jordan Belfort: It’s crazy out there. Some of these girls, you should see them. Oh, my God. They’re f**king, the things they’re doing now, Pops. I mean, it’s on a whole other level.
Max Belfort: Really?
Jordan Belfort: And they’re all shaved too.
Max Belfort: Get out of here!
Jordan Belfort: They’re all shaving now.
Max Belfort: Are you kidding me? No bush?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Bald, bald as a China doll.
Max Belfort: No bush?
Jordan Belfort: No bush.
Max Belfort: Oh, my God.
Jordan Belfort: I know. All of a sudden like, one week, nobody had anything down there anymore.
Max Belfort: It’s a new world.
Jordan Belfort: They’re bald, they’re bald from their eyebrows down.
Max Belfort: Wow.
Jordan Belfort: Nothing, not a stitch. It’s like lasers. Like lasers.
Max Belfort: Wow. A new world. See? I was born too, uh, too early.


 

Jordan Belfort: I’ve never been a fan of the bush to be honest.
Max Belfort: Really?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Max Belfort: I don’t mind it.
Jordan Belfort: But, Dad, I don’t want you stressing out about any of this.
Max Belfort: How can I not get stressed out? Look at the knuckle heads you got working for you.
Jordan Belfort: I know they’re knuckle heads, but I need them to want to live like me, you get it? To live like me.
Max Belfort: Jordy, you know, one of these days, the chickens are going to come home to roost.
Jordan Belfort: You’re looking at me like I’m crazy.
Max Belfort: Crazy? This is obscene.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was obscene, in the normal world. I mean, who the f**k wanted to live there?


 

[at his beach house Jordon has thrown a massive party, he’s standing on a balcony above the pool making an announcement to the crowd below]
Jordan Belfort: We got planes up here, that’s going to take this company into the f**king stratosphere!
[the crowd cheers]


 

[later inside the house, Jordan is in the pool room with his friends, Jordan is throwing billiard balls into filled glasses of drinks]
Jordan Belfort: F**k Merrill Lynch, f**k them! Why should they be taking all of our f**king money all the f**king time? That’s way we become the underwriters.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was our next big move, finding companies to take public, IPO’s. It was the only way these Wall Street pricks would ever stop thinking of us as some “sh*t kick a bucket shot.”
Robbie Feinberg: We’ve got Arncliffe International…
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] See, we were a little different. We like to get as f**ked up as possible during our business pow-wows in order to stimulate our free flowing ideas.


 

[Jordan pops a Quaalude into his mouth to get high]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Which is why we were popping these ludes like they were M&M’s.
[we see Donnie sat on the couch behind Jordan, half asleep when he suddenly wakes and mumbles]
Donnie Azoff: Steve Madden.
[he raises his hand which knocks the glass off from top of the couch, breaking it, interrupting Jordan as he speaks to the others]
Jordan Belfort: We own the f**king company.
[Jordan looks back as he hears the glass breaking but quickly turns to the others to carry on]
Jordan Belfort: We own the company.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Don’t know what a lude is? I’ll tell you. Uh, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Looks like those ludes are working their magic on Donnie, right now.
[Donnie rises from the couch and slowly goes over to Jordan in slow motion]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The Quaalude, or lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor, that’s dots, not feathers, as a sedative and was prescribed to stressed out housewives with sleep disorders. But pretty soon someone figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just fifteen minutes, you got a pretty kick-a** high from it. Didn’t take long for people to start abusing ludes of course. And in 1982 the U.S. Government Schedule one’d them, along with the rest of the world. Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. No sh*t, you can’t even buy them anymore. You people are all sh*t out of luck.
[back to the pool room with Jordon and his friends; to Donnie, who is completely high]
Jordan Belfort: What is it?
[very slowly]
Donnie Azoff: Steve Madden.
[Jordon and his friends laugh at Donnie, Jordon makes fun of him]
Jordan Belfort: Steve Madden.
Donnie Azoff: Steve.
Jordan Belfort: Steve.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Do you remember those ads? Those giant headed girls with the bug eyes, wearing those big clunky shoes?


 

[Donnie tries to explain something to Jordan while he’s high]
Donnie Azoff: My friend from school, Steve Madden.
[Jordan mocks him]
Jordan Belfort: His friend from school, Steve Madden.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Steve Madden was the name in women’s shoes at the moment and all of Wall Street was begging to take his company public.
[Jordan rubs Donnie shoulders]
Jordan Belfort: Go ahead, go ahead. What is it?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Except, guess who grew up with them?
Donnie Azoff: Women’s shoes!
Jordan Belfort: Women’s shoes.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] My very own Vice President.
Donnie Azoff: Women’s shoes!
[Donnie smacks his shoe, that he’d taken off earlier, onto the pool table, Jordan and his friends all laugh at him]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Diamond Donnie Azoff.
Donnie Azoff: Madden, Steve.
Jordan Belfort: Steve. Steve.


 

Sea Otter: Hey, JB, JB, JB, JB, JB. You better come check this f**king chic out.
[Otter takes him to the edge of the balcony]
Sea Otter: Look at this. Look, look.
[they all peer down the balcony and notice Naomi for the first time]
Sea Otter: I would f**k that girl if she was my sister.
Robbie Feinberg: I would let that girl give me f**king aids.
Jordan Belfort: You want to see the wolf handle this, huh?
[Jordan goes down to talk to Naomi as the others cheer him on, Donnie, who’ still high, peers at Naomi from the balcony]
Donnie Azoff: She’s hot.
[down at the party, Jordan calls to the woman that came in with Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: Cristy.


 

[Cristy takes Jordan to Naomi]
Cristy: Jordan, this is my friend, Naomi.
Naomi Lapaglia: Hi.
[they shake hands]
Jordan Belfort: Naomi.
Naomi Lapaglia: Nice to meet you.
Jordan Belfort: Naomi, nice to meet you.
Naomi Lapaglia: Nice to meet you. You’ve got an awesome place here. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a house this big before.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, really?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: There’s a beautiful beach out there, I could take you there.
[Naomi’s date interrupts them]
Blair Hollingsworth: Blair Hollingsworth.
Jordan Belfort: Hi, Blair. Nice to meet you.
[Jordan shakes hands with him]


 

Jordan Belfort: Your name’s Blair, right?
Blair Hollingsworth: Yeah.
[to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: You like to jet-ski?
Naomi Lapaglia: I’ve never done it before.
Jordan Belfort: You never jet-skied in your life?
Naomi Lapaglia: No, I’ve never on jet-skied.
Jordan Belfort: You’ve never been on a jet-ski?
Naomi Lapaglia: No, I haven’t.
Blair Hollingsworth: How many times you going to ask her? She’s never been on a jet-ski.
Jordan Belfort: I don’t know, I might ask her a couple more times.
Naomi Lapaglia: Okay.
[Naomi laughs]


 

[Donnie’s wife, Hildy, interrupts Jordan as he flirts with Naomi]
Hildy Azoff: Hi, I’m Hildy. Nice to meet you.
Naomi Lapaglia: Hi.
Hildy Azoff: Jordan, Teresa needs your help.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I’ll be out in couple of minutes. Just tell her I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.
Hildy Azoff: Why don’t you tell your wife that?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I might do that, but I’m having a conversation here.
Hildy Azoff: What am I, your secretary?
Jordan Belfort: No, you’re not my secretary. Let me just finish my conversation.


 

[to Naomi]
Blair Hollingsworth: You know what? I think we should, I think we should get going.
Jordan Belfort: Wait, wait. Where are you guys going?
Blair Hollingsworth: We got to go, we got two other parties we’re supposed to get to.
Jordan Belfort: No, no, no.
Naomi Lapaglia: We can stay for a drink.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, stay for a drink.
[to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: You like champagne?
Blair Hollingsworth: No, we got two other parties we’re supposed to get to, so.
Naomi Lapaglia: Well, we can stay for a drink.
Jordan Belfort: Why don’t you let her stay for a little bit?
Blair Hollingsworth: We got two other parties to get to.
Jordan Belfort: Let her stay for a little bit, what’s the big deal?


 

[as Jordan, Naomi and Blair are talking we see Donnie standing a little behind them, with his c**k in his hand, jerking off to Naomi]
Donnie Azoff: She’s perfect.
[to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: You like champagne?
Naomi Lapaglia: I do.
Jordan Belfort: Let me…
[suddenly Hildy notices Donnie jerking off]
Hildy Azoff: Donnie, what the f**k are you doing?! You piece of sh*t!
[she starts hitting him and Donnie falls to the floor, everyone starts laughing, Blair takes Naomi’s hand and the go to leave]
Jordan Belfort: You’re going to have to excuse my friend. He gets…
[pushing Donnie as he gets up]
Hildy Azoff: Get the f**k out of here!
[referring to Naomi]
Donnie Azoff: Jordan, you got to f**k her, she’s so f**king hot!
[Hildy pushes him out of the room]
Nicky Koskoff: Let him f**king finish, Hildy, that’s f**king rude.
[Naomi glances back at Jordan before she leaves the party]


 

[Jordan has taken Naomi out for dinner]
Jordan Belfort: So Bay Ridge. That’s near Staten Island, right?
Naomi Lapaglia: Brooklyn, across the Verrazano Bridge.
Jordan Belfort: Staten Island, the fever territory.
Naomi Lapaglia: That’s right. Guinea gulch. We call the Verrazano Bridge, the Guinea Gangplank.
Jordan Belfort: Right. So I presume you’re Italian?
Naomi Lapaglia: On my Dad’s side. I’m also Dutch, German, English. I’m a mutt.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, you’re a mutt.
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah, I still have family over there though, in London. My Aunt Emma, she’s the best. Very British, you know? She’s a classy lady.
Jordan Belfort: That explains it then.
Naomi Lapaglia: Explains what?
Jordan Belfort: Explains you. I mean, you’re Duchess, right? You’re the Duchess of Bay Ridge.
[Jordan smiles]


 

[Naomi flags a nearby waiter]
Naomi Lapaglia: Excuse me. Could I get a straw, please? Thank you.
[there’s a moment’s pause as the waiter gives her the straw]
Naomi Lapaglia: So, I was, um, a little surprised you asked Cristy for my number.
Jordan Belfort: Why is that?
Naomi Lapaglia: Aren’t you married?
Jordan Belfort: Well, yeah, but what? Married people can’t have friends?
Naomi Lapaglia: We’re going to be friends?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. You don’t want to be my friend?
[she puts the straw into her wine glass and smiles at Jordan]
Naomi Lapaglia: We’re not going to be friends.


 

[as Jordan drives them in his Ferrari towards Naomi’s apartment]
Naomi Lapaglia: And at night I work on my designs. I have an entire line of lingerie, you know, camisoles, bustiers, panties.
[Jordan glances down at her legs as she’s sat next to him]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] She designs women’s panties too? Oh, my God!
[he pulls up outsider her apartment and they sit in awkward silence for a moment]
Come on, Jordan, think of a way to get up to her apartment.
Naomi Lapaglia: You want to come up for some tea or something?
Jordan Belfort: Tea? Yeah. Like hot tea?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah. It sounds nice, yeah.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Tea? f**k, yeah, I wanted to come up for tea.
[Naomi leads the way to her apartment]
Jordan Belfort: Like Darjeeling, rose hips, or something nice like that?
Naomi Lapaglia: Sure.


 

[as they enter her apartment, Naomi’s picks up her small dog]
Naomi Lapaglia: This is Rocky.
[Rocky barks as she shows him to Jordan]
Naomi Lapaglia: Who’s this? Oh, who’s this? Say hi, Rocky.
Jordan Belfort: Hi, sweetheart.
[as Jordan extends his finger to touch Rocky, the Rocky yaps at him]
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
Naomi Lapaglia: Well, um, why don’t you light a fire or something and I’ll be right out.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Fire here?
Naomi Lapaglia: Sure.
[Naomi walks towards her room and Jordan walks over to the fireplace and notices the painting on the wall]
Jordan Belfort: I like your painting here. It’s, uh…
[Naomi enters her room and closes the sliding doors]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] God, help me. How do I f**k this girl?
[as Jordan tries to light a fire he drops something]
Naomi Lapaglia: You alright?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah. Just trying to light this fire here.
[suddenly his pager beeps, he gets it out from his pocket and checks the message which reads “Call home – Teresa”]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] That’s it, that’s it. You’re leaving, don’t get involved, go home to your wife.
[just then Naomi steps out of her room completely naked except for her stockings and high heels]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] As you can probably guess, well I f**ked her Goddamn brains out!
[we see Jordan’s legs as he pounds Naomi on her bed]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus Lord!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] For eleven seconds.


 

[Jordan rolls off Naomi]
Naomi Lapaglia: Did you just cum?
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah, I just came. Did you? Did you cum?
Naomi Lapaglia: No.
Jordan Belfort: No? Okay. I’m still hard, so just give me a sec, I’ll…
Naomi Lapaglia: Sure.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
[as he tries to keep himself hard]
Jordan Belfort: Come on, baby. Come on, come on.
[Rocky, who’s sat at on the floor by the bed starts barking]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.


 

[Naomi starts kissing him and Jordan rolls on top of her again, as he starts to have sex with her he suddenly stops as he feels Rocky touching his leg]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, God!
Naomi Lapaglia: F**k off, Rocky! Bad dog!
Jordan Belfort: Don’t you have biscuits or something like that?
Naomi Lapaglia: It’s okay.
Jordan Belfort: Come on.
Naomi Lapaglia: Just keep going.
Jordan Belfort: Rocky, go play. Go play, Rocky. Go, go, go.
[Jordan resumes having sex with Naomi and Rocky begins barking again]


 

[Naomi is on the phone to Jordan flirting as they continue their affair]
Naomi Lapaglia: You’re crazy.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I couldn’t get enough, I mean her pussy was like heroin to me. And it wasn’t just about the sex either, Naomi and I got along. I mean we had similar interests and sh*t.
[we see Jordan playfully doing coke from Naomi’s breasts at the back of his limo, as the limo comes to a stop outside his apartment Teresa opens the door and catches them in the act]
Teresa Petrillo: You! Get out of the f**king car!
[she drags Jordan out of the limo]
Jordan Belfort: Okay, okay, okay. Jesus Christ!
Teresa Petrillo: You son of a b**ch! f**k!
[she slams the limo door shut and the limo takes off with Naomi still in the back]
Jordan Belfort: Just relax, sweetheart. Relax.


 

[Teresa starts hitting him]
Teresa Petrillo: Son of a f**king b**ch! Jesus!
Jordan Belfort: Okay, okay, okay! Okay, babe, stop now! Please!
Teresa Petrillo: B**ch!
Jordan Belfort: Sweetheart, what are you doing? I thought you were…
Teresa Petrillo: With that whore from that party?!
[she slaps him hard in the face]
Jordan Belfort: Jesus Christ!
[she slaps him again]
Teresa Petrillo: What the f**k is wrong with you?!
Jordan Belfort: I thought you were at the f**king beach!
Teresa Petrillo: Who the f**k are you?!


 

Jordan Belfort: I didn’t know you were here!
Teresa Petrillo: That’s where you’ve f**king been?!
Jordan Belfort: Sweetheart…
Teresa Petrillo: With that f**king whore from the party?!
Jordan Belfort: What are you doing here? I thought you were the beech house!
[Teresa bursts into tears]
Teresa Petrillo: How could you do this to me?
Jordan Belfort: Sweetie, come on.
Teresa Petrillo: Who the f**k are you, Jordan?!
Jordan Belfort: Listen to me…
Teresa Petrillo: You’re like a completely different f**king person!
Jordan Belfort: I made a mistake. I don’t know what to tell you, babe. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Teresa Petrillo: Is that who, is that what you want?
[Jordan doesn’t reply]
Teresa Petrillo: Do you love her?
[again Jordan doesn’t reply]
Teresa Petrillo: Answer me.
[he doesn’t reply but from the look on his face it’s obvious that he does, Teresa burst into tears again]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I felt horrible. Three days later I filed for a divorce and moved Naomi into the apartment.


 

[after Naomi moves into Jordan’s apartment, we see them having dinner and being served by a butler]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Say what you will, but the Duchess did have style. She brought in an decorator, Feng Shui’d the whole place, she even hired a gay butler. This guy was smart, sophisticated, professional, I mean, really, really great.
[Nicholas the butler hands them hot towels to wipe their hands with, Jordan sniffs the towel]
Jordan Belfort: Is that Jasmine?
Nicholas the Butler: Yes, Sir. I try to stump you this evening. Very good. Very good. Great nose.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Except for that one time.
[we see Naomi comes home one night to find that Nicholas is holding a gay orgy in the apartment]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God!
Nicholas the Butler: Oh, hey. Is it Wednesday already?
[looking awkwardly around the room]
Nicholas the Butler: Uh, what the f**k? That is f**ked up!


 

[later Jordan tries to calm down a shaken Naomi]
Naomi Lapaglia: He must have thought we were still at the Hamptons this weekend, you know?
Jordan Belfort: Where were they doing it, sweetheart? In the bedroom?
Naomi Lapaglia: They were everywhere! There were two guys over there on the table, there were more over here. There were four right here.
[Jordan suddenly jumps off the couch]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, God! Are you f**king serious? Right there? Why didn’t you tell me, sweetie? God!
Naomi Lapaglia: Baby, there’s worse. After they left they checked the apartment.
Jordan Belfort: Right, what? What is it, babe? What?
[Naomi just cries]


 

[the next day we see Jordan talking to Nicholas with Donnie, Chester and Toby also in the room]
Jordan Belfort: Where’s my money?
Nicholas the Butler: I don’t know where your money is.
Jordan Belfort: Where’s my f**king money? Where is it?
Nicholas the Butler: I don’t know where your money is, Mr. Belfort, I didn’t do anything.
Jordan Belfort: You don’t know where my money is?
Donnie Azoff: He’s lying, Jordan. He’s lying through his f**king teeth.
Jordan Belfort: Let’s start from the beginning. Let’s start from the beginning, right? You invited some friends over, right?
Nicholas the Butler: Yes.
Jordan Belfort: One thing led to another, things got out of hand. We understand that, we do, we do blow all the time. We’re f**king degenerates ourselves, look at us, right? But money was stolen from my apartment, right from my sock drawer. Alright?
Nicholas the Butler: Like I said, I don’t know where your money is.
Jordan Belfort: Just start from the beginning, who came over?
Nicholas the Butler: It was just a normal day, I knew you were coming home the next day, so everything would be fine, it would be cleaned up.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.


 

Nicholas the Butler: I got a little high at breakfast.
Jordan Belfort: Right.
Nicholas the Butler: So I got a little happy, I had some eggs, I had a little bit if ice cream. And then I said, who do I know that likes ice cream? My friend Rudy, so I called Rudy…
Jordan Belfort: Who’s Rudy?
Donnie Azoff: Who’s Rudy?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, who’s Rudy? Who’s Rudy?
[to Donnie]
Nicholas the Butler: You know who Rudy is, come on.
Jordan Belfort: He knows who Rudy is?
Donnie Azoff: I know, I don’t know f**k…
Nicholas the Butler: You know…
Donnie Azoff: Who the f**k is Rudy? I don’t know anyone named Rudy.
Nicholas the Butler: You know, last month, The Lollipop Club. You know who Rudy was, dancing…
[to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: You know Rudy?
Donnie Azoff: I don’t, I don’t know about f**king know anyone…
[to Nicholas]
Donnie Azoff: What do you mean?
Nicholas the Butler: Rudy.


 

[referring to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: So he went to The Lollipop Club?
Nicholas the Butler: Oh, he was at The Lollipop Club for sure. On the stage grinding with everybody.
Jordan Belfort: Why were you at The Lollipop Club?
Donnie Azoff: I don’t know. I got f**ked up, I like to dance, I don’t know! Maybe I met him, maybe I didn’t. I meet a lot of f**king people.
[to Nicholas]
Jordan Belfort: Just listen to me. Listen to me. Just listen to me.
Nicholas the Butler: What are you saying?
Jordan Belfort: Twenty thousand dollars was stolen from my f**king sock drawer! All my girlfriend’s jewelry now gone. Where the f**k is it?
Donnie Azoff: Rudy? I don’t know who the f**k is Rudy. What the f**k?!
Jordan Belfort: Did your f**king little faggot friend Rudy take my sh*t, did he? Answer me!
Nicholas the Butler: Okay, now I get it. Now I get why I’m… This is a gay thing.
Jordan Belfort: Oh!
Nicholas the Butler: I see all of you.


 

Donnie Azoff: You think this is because you’re a fag?
Nicholas the Butler: This is…
Donnie Azoff: My cousin’s a f**king faggot and I go on vacation with him and his boyfriend! I love fags.
Jordan Belfort: You like being in charge, right? I will not be stolen from, you get that?
Donnie Azoff: I f**king like gay people, I don’t like you!
Nicholas the Butler: You don’t like gay people, you’d take it up the a**.
[to Jordan]
Donnie Azoff: You should hire a f**king Mexican like I have in my f**king house.
[at that moment Chester walks over to Nicholas]
Nicholas the Butler: What? What can I…?
[suddenly Chester punches Nicholas in the face]
Nicholas the Butler: Holy sh*t!
[Chester punches him again]
Nicholas the Butler: F**k!
[Chester punches him again breaking his nose, his blood spurts onto Donnie, who quickly runs out onto the balcony to vomit]


 

[Chester and Toby hold Nicholas by his legs over the balcony]
Chester Ming: Talk, you f**k, talk!
Toby Welch: I’m going to drop you, you f**king!
Chester Ming: Where is it?
[Nicholas screams]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Chester and Toby, they went all Yakuza on Nicholas. You know, they got crazy.
[we see Jordan talking to the cops in his apartment]
Jordan Belfort: I really appreciate your help.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I had to call the cops just to keep them from killing the poor guy. I gave them each a thousand bucks and told them what Nicholas had done.
[we see the cops dragging Nicholas away and hitting him with their sticks]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Then they kicked his a**. It’s not like I cared about the fifty grand anyway. I was making that much almost everyday through one rat hole or another.


 

[Brad meets Jordan and Donnie on a golf course carrying a bag full of money]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Now a rat hole, is a friend, like Brad here, who held stock in his name for me.
[Donnie extends his hand to Brad but he ignores it]
Brad: Who are you supposed to be? Jack Nichol-Jew?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I drive the price up, then he’d sell and kick most of the profits back to, you guessed it, me! All cash, none of it’s on the books. A big no no of course in the eyes of the law. Enter our new securities attorney, Manny Riskin. Seven hundred bucks an hour to be the voice of doom.
[Jordan, Max and Manny leave the office kitchen]
Manny Riskin: Listen to me, you pi**ed up the SEC’s leg, you’ll end up with your tits in the ringer.
Jordan Belfort: Will you not worry about it, I have the SEC under control.
[as they walk onto the office floor they notice two brokers doing break-dancing]
Max Belfort: What the f**k are these imbeciles doing?
[walking over to the two brokers break-dancing]
Max Belfort: Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Hey! We got the SEC in here!


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The Securities in Exchange Commission sent two lawyers down to review our files. So I set them up in our conference room and I had it bugged and the air conditioning turned up so high that it felt like Antarctica there.
[we see to SEC’s sat in the conference room wearing their coats trying to warm up; to the broker carrying in some files for them to review]
SEC Attorney #1: Is it always this cold in here?
Broker: I don’t know.
[the broker leaves the room]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Then, while they were looking for a smoking gun in that room, I was going to fire off a bazooka in here, offering up our latest IPO.


 

[Jordan walks through the office talking into the camera]
Jordan Belfort: An IPO is an initial public offering, it’s a first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price and sold those shares right back to our friends. Yet, look.
[Jordan chuckles]
Jordan Belfort: I know you’re not following what I’m saying anyway, right? That’s okay, that doesn’t matter. The real question is this, was all this legal? Absolutely f**king not. But we were making more money than we knew what to do with.


 

[Jordan is in a room at his bank unloading his safety deposit box full of cash into a bag]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] And what do you do when you’re making more money than you knew what to do with?
[Jordan presents Naomi with a yellow diamond ring]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God.
Jordan Belfort: Will you marry me?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God.
Jordan Belfort: Is that a yes?
Naomi Lapaglia: Are you sure?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I’m sure. Yeah, I’m sure. Are you sure?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
[he puts the ring on her finger, Naomi smiles and kisses him]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I held my bachelor party at the Mirage in Las Vegas. They flight there alone was a bacchanal, one last blow out for the Gods before I settled down for good. A hundred Strattonites, fifty hookers plus fifty more waiting once we landed. Oh, and the drugs. I mean, I tell you, our plane was like a pharmacy with wings.
[we see the party on the plane with all the brokers, including Jordan, having sex with the hookers and taking drugs, later that night in their hotel suit, everyone is passed out drunk when Jordan rises from bed naked and walks over to the window]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] All told, the weekend cost me two million bucks, including the cost of refurbishing the entire twenty-eighth floor.


 

[at their wedding, after saying their vows Jordan kisses Naomi and the guests clap]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Ah, but the wedding was something out of a fairy tale. With Naomi, my Duchess, me her handsome Duke in The Bahamas Ocean Club our castle.
[at the wedding reception, Jordan and Naomi dance]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Of course after the bachelor party, me, the Duke needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage.
[a videographer interviews the wedding guests]
Barry Kleinman: Hey, Barry Kleinman, filming the wedding. A few words, huh? For your son.
Max Belfort: Jordan, remember what I told you. It involves your p**is and her v**ina, you know, you know what can do, Jordy.


 

[as Naomi notices her English Aunt]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God! Aunt Emma?
[she rushes over to her aunt]
Naomi Lapaglia: I can’t believe you came!
[she hugs and kisses her aunt]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan! Jordan!
[Jordan, who is busy dancing on the dance floor, stops to look over to Naomi]
Naomi Lapaglia: Look who came, it’s Aunt Emma!


 

[Jordan walks over to them]
Jordan Belfort: Aunt Emma!
Aunt Emma: Oh, Jordan, how are you?
Jordan Belfort: Hey, how are you doing?
[Jordan takes her hands and kisses them]
Jordan Belfort: Pleasure. Pleasure to finally meet you in person.
[wiping the white powder from the edge of Jordan’s nostril]
Aunt Emma: Into the donuts, I see.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, I, uh, I was.
[she kisses his cheeks]
Aunt Emma: I lived through the 60’s, my dear. Enjoy the day.
[she smiles at him and stands next to Naomi; to Jordan]
Naomi Lapaglia: It was a surprise, I didn’t even know.


 

[Jordan leads a blindfolded Naomi towards the yacht he’s bought her]
Jordan Belfort: Just one more step.
Naomi Lapaglia: Where are we going?
Jordan Belfort: Keep your eyes closed. One, two, three!
[he takes the blindfolds off and she sees the massive yacht for the first time]
Naomi Lapaglia: What is this?
Jordan Belfort: It’s your wedding present.
Naomi Lapaglia: What?
Jordan Belfort: It’s your wedding present, sweetheart.
[we see the yacht has Naomi’s name written on the side of it]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: What? Are you serious?
Jordan Belfort: I’m serious.
Naomi Lapaglia: A f**king yacht?!
[as we get shown the inside of the yacht]
Commercial Voice: For millionaires, whose ships have come in, this pricey pleasure boat offer the most fun afloat. It’s no coincidence that it’s one hundred fifty feet of green hull is the color of cash. Anchors away!
[back to Naomi’s excited reaction at Jordy buying the yacht for her]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God, baby!
[she jumps into his arms and kisses him]
Jordan Belfort: Do you like it?
Naomi Lapaglia: You’re crazy.
Jordan Belfort: Do you like it?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yes!


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] For three weeks we sailed the Naomi through the Caribbean, eventually taking our home to Long Island where we bought a house. Seven acres on the Gold Coast of Long Island, the most expensive real estate in the world.
[we see various shots of the massive house and estate]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] With maids, cooks, landscapers, you name it. We even had two guards who worked in shifts, both named Rocco.
[18 months later – we see Jordan lying asleep in his bed]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was heaven on earth.
[suddenly a glass of water is thrown onto Jordan’s face jolting him awake]
Naomi Lapaglia: Wake up, you piece of sh*t!
Jordan Belfort: Ow!


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Who’s Venice? Huh?
Jordan Belfort: Who? Who?
Naomi Lapaglia: Who?
[trying to clear the water out of his ear]
Jordan Belfort: Who? Who?
Naomi Lapaglia: Who? What are you, a f**king owl? Who is she?
Jordan Belfort: I don’t know what the…
Naomi Lapaglia: Some hooker you were f**king last night?
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k are you talking about? No! No way, baby, no!
Naomi Lapaglia: You were calling her name in your sleep!
Jordan Belfort: Are you out of your f**king mind? I don’t even know who Venice is! What the f**k does that even mean? Venice! That is the stupidest sh*t I’ve ever heard in my f**king life!


 

[we see Jordan in hotel room lying on the ground naked with his hands tied and a lit candle in his a**, he calls out to the hooker, Venice]
Jordan Belfort: Venice? Venice, baby, where are you? Venice? Venice! Where did you go?
[Venice sits beside him and pulls out the candle from his a** making him groan]
Jordan Belfort: Aah! Owie! Owie! Aah! Oh, baby. Oh, you can play rough, huh?
[Venice sits on his back and pours the hot wax from the candle onto his back making him yell out in pain]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus Christ!
Venice: Relax.
Jordan Belfort: Ow! Owie! Owie!


 

[as she continues to pour the hot wax onto his back]
Jordan Belfort: I like it! I like it! Ow! Wolfie, wolfie, wolfie, wolfie! Wolfie!
Venice: Wolfie?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, it’s my safe word, baby. It’s my safe word.
Venice: I don’t give a f**k about your safe word!
Jordan Belfort: Oh, come on! You told me you had a safe word!
Venice: Shut the f**k up!
[he screams as she pours more hot wax onto his back]
Venice: Shut up, you little b**ch!
Jordan Belfort: Ah! You’re a f**king dirty little birdy! Owie!


 

[back to the scene with Naomi and Jordan arguing over him calling out the name Venice in his sleep, Naomi holds another glass of water in her hand]
Jordan Belfort: That’s right. That’s right, I forgot. I forgot, babe. Donnie and I were investing in a condominium complex in Venice. That’s why, that’s why all this confusion!
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, you were investing in Italy?
Jordan Belfort: Not Italy. California, babe.
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, California?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah!
Naomi Lapaglia: You’re lying piece of sh*t!
[she turns to leave]
Jordan Belfort: Duchess, baby.
Naomi Lapaglia: Don’t you f**king Duchess me!
Jordan Belfort: Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay, baby, I’m sorry.
Naomi Lapaglia: Don’t you Duchess me!
Jordan Belfort: Baby, I’m sorry. Could we talk.
Naomi Lapaglia: Do you really think that I don’t know what you’re up to?
Jordan Belfort: What?


 

Naomi Lapaglia: You’re a father now, Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Naomi Lapaglia: You’re a father now.
Jordan Belfort: I know. Yes!
Naomi Lapaglia: And you’re still acting like an infant!
[she throws the glass of water into his face again and walks away]
Jordan Belfort: Fuuck! Goddamn it! Baby, you know, you, you got real anger issues! You got psychological problems!
Naomi Lapaglia: Who was the one who flew in here at three in the morning on their stupid helicopter and woke up Skylar? That was you.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Skylar! Oh, f**king bullsh*t!
Naomi Lapaglia: You forgot that! It doesn’t even matter to you.
[we see Jordan crash landing the helicopter onto his estate, then as he stumbles out of the bushes and walks toward the house he falls into the pool making the security alarm go off]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan? And now you f**king wrecked it!
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God! Bermuda grass.
Naomi Lapaglia: No, you didn’t research the whole thing and deal with the f**king golf course people!
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God! You had the deal with the golf course people too! What a Greek tragedy, honey! Oh, my God! You probably had to pay them in cash, with their hands. What a f**king burden! And actually do some work besides swiping my f**king credit card all day, huh? Because I can’t keep track of your professions, honey! Because last month you were a wine connoisseur, now you’re an aspiring landscape architect, let me get that right?
[Naomi rushes into the room carrying another glass of water]
Jordan Belfort: No!
Naomi Lapaglia: F**k you!
Jordan Belfort: No. Don’t you f**king dare throw that f**king water at me. Don’t you f**king dare. Alright, honey? Now if we could just, if we could talk this out, alright? Just use our words, you know, to communicate. Okay? Come on, sweetheart, talk to me. Talk to me.


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Stop flexing your muscle, Jordan, you look like a f**king imbecile.
Jordan Belfort: Babe, come on, you should feel, you should feel happy you got a husband who’s in such great shape like this, huh? Come here. Come on, give me a kiss. You look so beautiful right now, come on.
[he moves closer to her]
Naomi Lapaglia: Kiss you?
Jordan Belfort: You look so beautiful, baby.
Naomi Lapaglia: Kiss you?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, give me one…
[suddenly she throws the glass of water onto his face, turns and walks out]
Jordan Belfort: F**k you!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Ah, yes. My morning ritual. First I’d get up and fight with Naomi about whatever it is I did the night before. Next was a steam so I could sweat out the drugs still in my system. Then I’d assess the damage, drown out my eyeball, take my back pills to get the day started, then seek to make up with Naomi.


 

[Jordan enters Skylar’s room where Naomi is sat on the floor holding Skylar]
Naomi Lapaglia: Good morning, Daddy. Where’s my kiss?
[Jordan takes Skylar from Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, sweetheart.
[he kisses Skylar]
Jordan Belfort: Does Daddy get a kiss from both of you little girls? Huh?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, no. No, Daddy doesn’t even get to touch Mommy, for a very, very, very long time.
Jordan Belfort: Daddy is really sorry about what he said in the other room, he didn’t mean any of it.
[Naomi holds up her hand]
Naomi Lapaglia: Daddy shouldn’t waste his time. And from now on, it’s going to be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. And you know something else, Daddy? Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. In fact, she’s decided to throw them all away.


 

[Naomi parts her thighs, Jordan drops to his hands and knees and watches her transfixed]
Naomi Lapaglia: So take a good look, Daddy. You’re going to be seeing an awful lot of this around the house.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, baby. Yeah, Mommy.
[he starts crawling towards her]
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
[as he goes to touch her suddenly Naomi stops him by placing her foot on his head]
Naomi Lapaglia: But no touching.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, gosh. Ow.


 

[still keeping her thighs apart, taunting Jordan as he watches her]
Naomi Lapaglia: What’s wrong, Daddy?
Jordan Belfort: Mm, baby.
[Jordan drops his head to the ground and pretends to weep]
Jordan Belfort: God. God.
[in the security office, Jordan’s bodyguards are watching Naomi and Jordan via the security camera]
Rocco #1: Look at this sh*t.
[they watch Naomi and Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Okay, Mommy likes to play games with Daddy.


 

[Jordan looks over to the teddy bear across the room]
Jordan Belfort: Mommy, have you ever noticed anything odd about Mr. Fuzzybear over there? His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don’t they? Yeah, there’s something little bit different about his eyes.
[we see that one of the teddy’s eyes is a small security camera]
Jordan Belfort: Hah. Yes, I think it’s true! Say hi, Mommy!
[Naomi quickly closes her legs as Jordan waves to the camera]
Jordan Belfort: Say hi to Rocco and Rocco! Say hi. Hi, fellas. See that, huh?
[Naomi hits Jordan as he laughs and quickly gets up and leaves the room]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Of all the f**king days, she chooses today to give me blue balls. I mean today was the biggest day in Stratton’s history and I needed to be thinking straight.


 

[as Jordan enters the office Donnie goes over to him]
Donnie Azoff: Hey, Jordan! Welcome
Jordan Belfort: Steve here yet?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] This was the day that we launched the Steve Madden IPO.
Donnie Azoff: Troops are all here, everyone’s all rallied, excited…
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Everything had to run tight, it had to be perfect.
[pointing to a broker cleaning a goldfish bowl on his desk]
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k is that kid doing? What’s he doing? The biggest IPO in this firm’s history, what the f**k is he doing?
Janet: Is he wearing a bowtie?


 

[Donnie goes over to the broker]
Donnie Azoff: Hi, how are you doing?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: Good.
Donnie Azoff: What, are you cleaning the fish bowl?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I just, I had a minute and I…
Donnie Azoff: You had a minute, and today you needed to clean the fish bowl? today?
Stratton Broker in a Bowtie: I finished my paperwork, and I was, so I just had a couple of minutes.
Donnie Azoff: Okay, nice to meet you.
[Donnie shakes the broker’s hand and turns to walk away]


 

[Jordan and Janet smile as they watch Donnie who turns back to the broker with the bowtie and yells]
Donnie Azoff: On new issue day?! On c**k**king, motherf**king new issue day?!
[Donnie throws his cigarette at the broker and grabs hold of him]
Donnie Azoff: This is what you do?!
[Donnie picks up the fish bowl]
Donnie Azoff: Hey, everybody, listen up!
[he stands on a desk]
Donnie Azoff: This is what happens when you f**k with your pets on new issue day!
[Donnie takes the small fish out of the bowl, puts the fish into his mouth and swallows it whole, Jordan and the other brokers applaud him]


 

[Donnie steps down and goes over to the broker]
Donnie Azoff: Take your little bowtie…
[he smacks the broker in the face]
Donnie Azoff: Get your sh*t, and get the f**k out of my office. You understand?
Jordan Belfort: Get the f**k out!
[the broker nods his head, Donnie turns and starts walking away]
Donnie Azoff: Everybody on point! We are here to make money! Everybody on point!
[the other brokers starts throwing balled up paper at the broker with the bowtie]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it.


 

[Donnie enters Jordan’s office with Steve Madden]
Donnie Azoff: Jordan, look what I caught in the lobby. I caught a genius.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Enter Steve Madden. Red hot ladies footwear impresario, and thanks to Donnie, we were taking his company public. Stratton Oakmont was crawling out of the primordial ooze, pond scum no more.
[to Steve as they walk him over to the bullpen]
Donnie Azoff: That’s why they got to see your face.
Jordan Belfort: You get them fired up so they push the sh*t out of this stack, okay?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] And not only that, Donnie and I secretly owned eighty-five percent of Steve Madden’s shoes, which legally speaking was a big no, no. But we’d get filthy f**king rich if our troops got behind it. Our job was to get them worked up, but not too worked up.


 

[Donnie and Jordan take Steve to the front of the office and give him a microphone]
Steve Madden: Hello. If, uh, for those of you who don’t know me, uh, my name’s Steve Madden.
Chester Ming: Yeah, we know who you are.
Broker: Your name is on the box.
[the other brokers laugh, Steve looks at Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Get the shoes, show them the shoes. Show them the shoes.
Steve Madden: Okay. Yeah.
[Steve takes one of the shoes out of a box and holds it up]
Steve Madden: Anyway, you know, just, this shoe. It’s pretty cool. This is the Mary Lou, which is really the shoe who put me on the map. Without it, I wouldn’t be here.
Female Broker: It’s a fat girl shoe.
Steve Madden: Believe it or not. Believe it or not, though, the Mary Lou is actually the same as the Mary Jane but it’s black Leather.
[the brokers start throwing stuff at Steve and booing him]


 

[as the brokers are booing and throwing things at Steve, Jordan intervenes]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, hey, hey! Woh, woh, woh, woh! Woh. Woh. Cut back! Come on, will you, will you!
[the brokers cheer and applaud, Jordan takes the microphone from Steve]
Jordan Belfort: Alright! Let’s give it up for Steve Madden and his awesome Mary Lou.
[to Steve who holds up the shoe]
Jordan Belfort: Hold that up. Hold that up. Hold that up proud. Give him a round of applause.
[to Steve as the brokers cheer and clap]
Jordan Belfort: Get out of here.
[to the brokers]
Jordan Belfort: You guys got that out of your systems, huh?


 

[Steve joins Donnie and Max]
Jordan Belfort: You having good afternoon or what? I want to take a moment to tell you why Steve here is so absolutely off the f**king wall. It’s because this man is a creative genius. This ability, this gift that Steve has, it goes beyond just spotting the hottest shoe trends. Steve’s power is that he creates trends, you understand? Artists like Steve come along once every decade. I’m talking Giorgio Armani, Gianni Versace, Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent. Steve, come up here for a second.
[Steven joins him and Jordan puts his arm around him]
Jordan Belfort: I don’t think you all realize that Steve Madden is the hottest person in the women’s shoe industry with orders going through the roof in every department store in North America right now. We have him here in our office! We should thank our f**king lucky stars this man is here. We should be on our hands in knees right now, getting ready to suck this guy off!
[Jordan gets on his knees and pretends to give a blow job to Steve using his microphone]
Jordan Belfort: Huh? Like this! Okay?
[the brokers laugh]
Jordan Belfort: I want to suck you off, Steve!
[Jordan stands and the brokers clap]
Jordan Belfort: Everyone’s going to suck you off.


 

[putting his arm around Steve and pulls him in]
Jordan Belfort: This is our golden ticket into the f**king chocolate factory right here!
[the brokers cheer and applaud]
Jordan Belfort: And I want to meet Willy f**king Wonka, okay? I want to be with the f**king Oompa Loompa’s, like this!
[he starts stomping his feet and the brokers cheer and clap him; to Steve]
Jordan Belfort: Get off this f**king stage. Get out of here.
[Steve joins Donnie and Max on the side]
Jordan Belfort: Alright, I want you all to focus for a second. See those little black boxes? They’re called telephones, I’m going to let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They’re not going to dial themselves, okay? Without you, they’re just worthless hunks of plastic, like a loaded M16 without a trained Marine to pull the trigger. And in the case of the telephone, it’s up to each and every one of you, my highly trained Strattonites, my killers! My killers, who will not take no for an answer. My f**king warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys or f**king dies!
[the whole office goes crazy, cheering Jordan]


 

Jordan Belfort: Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I’ve been a rich man, and I’ve been a poor man. And I choose rich every f**king time. Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of the limo wearing a two thousand dollar suite and a forty thousand dollar gold f**king watch!
[he dangles his watch and throws it into the crowd of brokers and one of the brokers catches it]
Jordan Belfort: Right boys, hit him! Hit him!
Broker: Get the f**k off of me!


 

Jordan Belfort: Now if anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic, go get a job in f**king McDonalds, because that’s where you f**king belong! But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next you, go on.
[the brokers look at each other]
Jordan Belfort: Because sometime in the not so distant future, you’re going to be pulling up to a red light and you beat up old f**king Pinto, and that person’s going to be pulling up right alongside you in their brand new Porsche, with their beautiful wife by their side, who’s got big voluptuous tits.
[the brokers laugh]
Jordan Belfort: And who are you going to be sitting next to? Some disgusting wildebeest with three days of razor stubble in a sleeveless moo-moo, crammed in next to you with a carload full of groceries from the f**king Price Club! That’s who you’re going to be sitting next to!
[the brokers laugh again]


 

Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you’re f**king worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich!
[the brokers applaud him]
Jordan Belfort: All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have taught you. And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of f**king America.
[the brokers go crazy cheering him]


 

Jordan Belfort: I want you to go out there and I want you to ram Steve Madden’s stock down your clients throats, till they f**king choke on it. Till they choke on it and they buy a hundred thousand shares, that’s what I want you to do!
[the brokers cheer again]
Jordan Belfort: You’ll be ferocious! You’ll be relentless! You’ll be telephone f**king terrorists! Now let’s knock this motherf**ker out of the park!
[the brokers start going crazy as they start dialing their phones]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] At one p.m., we opened the stock for sale at four dollar and fifty cents a share. By one-o-three, it was over eighteen dollars. Even the big Wall Street firms were buying.
[we see FBI Agent Patrick Denham arriving at work and continuing his investigation of Stratton, Jordan and the other brokers, we then see Jordan sat at his desk talking directly to the camera]
Jordan Belfort: Of the two million shares offered for sale, a million belonged to me held in phony accounts by my ratholes. Now, once the price hit the high teens…
[he stops and laughs]
Jordan Belfort: You know what? Who gives a sh*t? As always, the point is this.
[we see Donnie in Jordan’s office holding a champagne bottle and two glasses]
Donnie Azoff: Twenty-two million dollars in three f**king hours! Can you believe this, kid?
[Jordan hugs Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: I could love your tits!


 

[Jordan kisses Donnie on the cheek, just then Janet enters the office and interrupts them]
Janet: Jordan! Barry Kleinman’s on the phone from Future Video?
Jordan Belfort: Who?
Janet: I don’t know, he shot at your wedding. He says it’s urgent.
Jordan Belfort: Urgent? Who the f**k is Barry Kleinman?
[teasing Janet]
Donnie Azoff: Oh, my God! You want to marry me? You’re in love with me?
Janet: Yeah, go f**k your cousin.
[Janet turns to leave the office and Donnie follows her]


 

[Jordan takes the call from Barry Kleinman]
Jordan Belfort: Barry, what’s up?
Barry Kleinman: Listen, uh, I got this subpoena.
Jordan Belfort: Subpoena? What the f**k are you talking about?
Barry Kleinman: Yeah, the FBI, they want a copy of your wedding video.
Jordan Belfort: F**king FBI? Are you f**king kidding me?[/showhide]

See more The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes


 

[Jordan is having dinner with his private investigator, Bo Dietl]
Bo Dietl: Listen to me, his name is Denham, he’s an agent with the New York Office.
Jordan Belfort: What’s his problem?
Bo Dietl: He’s a boy scout! He thinks you’re f**king Gordon Gekko!
Jordan Belfort: What does he want with my wedding video? It’s like invasion of my privacy. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, it’s intrusive, you know?
Bo Dietl: He’s got picture of your whole inner f**king circle. Pictures, names of the people. You know what he’s trying to do? Exactly what he’s doing. Look at yourself, he’s trying to rattle you, he’s trying to rattle your old lady, and she nags you until you become a f**king witness.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, so he wants me to rat on myself? He wants me to give information about my…? What…?
Bo Dietl: Listen, the good f**king news is, you know I know everybody down town. I called the Justice Department, the DEA, nobody even knows you f**king exist, so calm down.
Jordan Belfort: They don’t know I exist?
Bo Dietl: No.
Jordan Belfort: That’s Good.


 

Jordan Belfort: But you know who is he, right?
Bo Dietl: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: So if I just wanted to get some more information, like just find out what he knows, I mean, you could, you could go to his house…
[looks around the restaurant and says more quietly]
Jordan Belfort: You could go to his house, right? Tap his phones a little bit, bug him, you could get some information.
Bo Dietl: You don’t f**k with these guys like that. You don’t f**k with him like that. What are you, nuts or something?
Jordan Belfort: That’s what you f**king do! What do I pay you for?
Bo Dietl: I have a f**king P.I. license, you know? I make a living at this, I’m not a cop anymore. They’ll take my f**king license away from me, alright?
Jordan Belfort: Okay. Okay, if I can’t do that, can I just, can I give the guy a call?
[Bo rolls his eyes in frustration]


 

Jordan Belfort: Why? Is that…
Bo Dietl: Jordan. Jordan, do me a favor. The only one who calls this guy is your f**king lawyer.
Jordan Belfort: I can’t call him, right? I’m not, it’s still against the rules.
Bo Dietl: You know what you do? I told you, whatever the f**k you say to him, he’s going to use against you, don’t you understand?! He’s smart, you’re dumb.
Jordan Belfort: F**king bullsh*t. I’m not allowed to call him?
[Jordan takes a pill bottle from his pocket]
Bo Dietl: Are we f**king talking tonight, or are you going to get…
[Jordan pops some pills into his mouth]
Bo Dietl: The last time you took these f**king pills, you put your head in them f**king macaroni, I had to pick it up!
Jordan Belfort: Alright. Okay, I won’t call him.


 

[Denham and his partner, Hughes, walk up towards Jordan’s boat]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, fellas! Come on board. Plank’s right around there. Welcome. Wooh! What a nice day.
[to Denham and Hughes as they step aboard]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, welcome aboard.
[he extends his hand to Denham]
Jordan Belfort: Jordan. Welcome aboard the Naomi, pleasure to meet you.
[Denham shakes his hand]
Agent Patrick Denham: Agent Denham. This is agent Hughes.
Jordan Belfort: Hi, how are you?
[Jordan shakes hands with Hughes]
Jordan Belfort: Let me introduce you.
[he turns to point to two women sat in their swimming costumes]
Jordan Belfort: This is Nicole, Heidi.


 

[to the women]
Jordan Belfort: Come on, don’t be shy. What are you guys all shy for? Don’t be scared.
[Nicole and Heidi walk over to them]
Jordan Belfort: These are, uh, friends of Stratton.
Heidi: It’s a pleasure.
Nicole: Hello.
[Denham laughs uncomfortably]
Agent Patrick Denham: Um…
Jordan Belfort: Go on.
Agent Patrick Denham: Your message said that you wanted to speak privately. I…
Jordan Belfort: Right, I do want to speak privately.
[to Nicole and Heidi]
Jordan Belfort: Give us some minute, huh, ladies?
Nicole: Let me know if I can get you anything.
Heidi: We’d be happy to help.
[the two women walk off]


 

Jordan Belfort: You guys hungry? You want something to eat? We got some, uh, pasta, shrimp, lobster. I got whiskey, any kind of booze you want.
Agent Patrick Denham: You know what, the bureau doesn’t allow us to drink while we’re at sea.
Jordan Belfort: Duh! Of course.
[Jordan and Denham laugh]
Jordan Belfort: Ever been on one of these before?
Agent Patrick Denham: A boat? Learned how to sail when I was six.
Jordan Belfort: No sh*t? Is that right? Really? I mean, one like this, though. I mean, I had the whole front extended in order to fit the chopper up there.
[looking up at the helicopter on top of the boat]
Jordan Belfort: You see that?
[shows Denham a sheet of paper]
Jordan Belfort: Anyway, this is for you. It’s a complete list of every person that was at my wedding.
Agent Patrick Denham: Oh, yeah?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, well I understand you wanted the, uh, the whole wedding video. Figured this would help expedite the whole process, right?
Agent Patrick Denham: There you go.


 

Jordan Belfort: Look, my point is that I know you’re investigating Stratton. But for the life of me I can’t figure it out why. I know we’re a little unorthodox, we’re a little loud in the way we do things, but you got to understand, we’re the new guys on the block, you know, trying to make a name for ourselves. But now I want you to understand, we don’t do anything illegal, whatsoever. I mean you could talk to the SEC, they were at my office fifteen times over the last six months, so. I mean, I got nothing to hide.
Agent Patrick Denham: Well, you know the SEC is a civil regulatory agency. We pursue criminal activity.
Jordan Belfort: Exactly, you go after real criminals. Which makes me wonder what the hell you’re investigating me for? I mean, honestly, what is it that you think that we did or do? I don’t get it.
Agent Patrick Denham: Well, I, Jordan, I can’t discuss an ongoing investigation.
Jordan Belfort: No, I get that. No, I understand.
Agent Patrick Denham: With that said, this case got dumped on my desk.
Jordan Belfort: Did it?
Agent Patrick Denham: You know, by a higher up who, uh, needs to make a show of looking in into the new company on the block. You know, after that press and everything…
Jordan Belfort: The loud guys, all the bad press.
Agent Patrick Denham: And then I end up being the schmuck who does the looking.
Jordan Belfort: I get it.
Agent Patrick Denham: Exactly.


 

Jordan Belfort: It just, you know, it bothers me. We’re the new guy and we’re the one that’s banging on Wall Street’s door. I mean, you should, you should see what’s going on at the bigger firms. I mean I know all the information, it’s true. Goldman, Lehman Brothers, Merrill. Collateralized debt obligations? This internet stock bullsh*t? I mean, it’s a f**king travesty. I mean I could take you step by step through what exactly is occurring, you know? All you have to do is ask. I’m available.
Agent Patrick Denham: That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Agent Patrick Denham: I don’t see why a little sit-down like this…
Jordan Belfort: Mm-hmm.
Agent Patrick Denham: It can’t be profitable for the both us,
Jordan Belfort: It should, right? It should profit the both of us.
Agent Patrick Denham: It should.
Jordan Belfort: Look, I’m going to give you my personal line. Five days a week, you just call me, feel free.
Agent Patrick Denham: I’ll do that.
Jordan Belfort: Great.
[he looks at Hughes then Denham for a moment]
Jordan Belfort: Are you sure you guys don’t want something to drink? I mean, you’re not hungry? Nothing? Nothing?
Agent Patrick Denham: Oh, no.
Jordan Belfort: No?


 

Jordan Belfort: Let me ask you, and if you don’t want to get too personal, just tell me to shut up at anytime.
Agent Patrick Denham: Oh.
Jordan Belfort: Did you try to get your broker’s license at one time? Did I hear that right? Were you trying to take a stab at Wall Street? No?
Agent Patrick Denham: Who’ve you been talking to?
[Jordan laughs]
Agent Patrick Denham: Who the f**k have you been talking to?
Jordan Belfort: Well, you investigate me, I hear things. You know what I mean?
[they both laugh]


 

Jordan Belfort: You ever think about what would have happened if you would have, you know, stayed the course?
Agent Patrick Denham: You know what? When I riding home on the subway, and my balls are f**king sweating and I’m wearing the same suit three days in a row, yeah, you bet I do. I’ve thought about it before. Who wouldn’t, right?
Jordan Belfort: Right, who f**king wouldn’t? I mean, what do you guy, another personal question, no need to answer if you don’t…
Agent Patrick Denham: No, that’s alright, Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: What are you pulling? Fifty-sixty K, something like that? A year? Ball part?
Agent Patrick Denham: Well, let’s put it this way. You get a free hand gun when you sign up for the bureau. What do you do?
[they both laugh]
Jordan Belfort: No, but it f**king pi**es me off. You know what I mean? When you think about the people that build this country, hard working people like you. You know, fire fighters, teachers, FBI Agents. End of the day, you guys get f**king skinned alive financially. It f**king makes me angry.


 

Jordan Belfort: That’s the one thing about Wall Street and this market is, for me, I feel it’s good to give back, you know? There’s situations where I can make those situations better for people, you know? You know what I mean.
Agent Patrick Denham: Opportunity is everything.
Jordan Belfort: Exactly. Take for example, I got this one kid, right? Uh, went to school for environmental science, something like that, we was bogged down by his student loans. Turns out his mother needed triple bypass surgery
Agent Patrick Denham: Jesus.
Jordan Belfort: Right, a horrible situation for the kid.
Agent Patrick Denham: Sure.
Jordan Belfort: But we got in him in the market at the right time. We chose the right stock, we gave him the right guidance. Boom, overnight, change his entire life. You know, he got to put his mother into the best hospital in New York City. It didn’t work out for her, granted, she passed away unfortunately, but we gave him that opportunity. You know what I’m saying? It’s just about sending up the right team and then…
[he snaps his finger]
Jordan Belfort: Overnight your life can change. You know.
[Denham looks at him for a moment]
Agent Patrick Denham: What does, what does an intern, uh…? What does an intern make in a deal like that?
Jordan Belfort: Well, in that situation, I mean, that particular trade, it was one trade, north of half a million dollars. And I do that for anybody, you know, anybody that needs the proper guidance.


 

Agent Patrick Denham: Can you say that again? Just the way you said it. Just the same way.
Jordan Belfort: Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Agent Patrick Denham: No! Come on, you know what I’m talking about.
Jordan Belfort: No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Agent Patrick Denham: Just say the same.
[to Hughes]
Agent Patrick Denham: I think what Jordan just did is he…
[to Jordan]
Agent Patrick Denham: If I’m not mistaken.
Jordan Belfort: No.
Agent Patrick Denham: You just tried to bribe a federal officer.
Jordan Belfort: No, technically I didn’t bribe anybody. Technically that’s not true.
Agent Patrick Denham: No, no, that’s not the conversation I heard, Jordan.


 

Jordan Belfort: According to U.S. criminal code, there needs to be an exact dollar figure for the exchange of services. That would not hold up on the court of law..
Agent Patrick Denham: No, that’s not how I heard it.
Jordan Belfort: No, no, no, no. That’s the truth. But I want to tell you this.
Agent Patrick Denham: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: The same gentlemen that told me that you tried to get your brokers license also told me that you were a straight arrow.
[to Hughes]
Agent Patrick Denham: He ran a security check on me.
Jordan Belfort: Well, when you sail on a boat fit for a Bond villain, sometimes you need to play the part, right?


 

Jordan Belfort: I think it’s time you both get the f**k off my boat, what do you say? Hm?
[Denham laughs]
Agent Patrick Denham: You know, Jordan, I’ll tell you something. Most of the Wall Street jacka**es that I bust…
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Agent Patrick Denham: They’re, uh, they’re to the manner born.
Jordan Belfort: Is that right?
Agent Patrick Denham: Yeah. Their fathers are douchebags, just like their fathers before them. But you, you, Jordan, you got this way all on your own.
Jordan Belfort: Did I?
Agent Patrick Denham: Good for you, little man.
Jordan Belfort: Little man?
[Jordan laughs]
Agent Patrick Denham: Good for you.
Jordan Belfort: Me, a little man?


 

Agent Patrick Denham: Let me tell you something.
[Jordan laughs harder]
Agent Patrick Denham: No, let me tell you something else. Honestly, I’m not bullsh*tting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I’ve ever been on. I got to, I got to tell you this.
Jordan Belfort: I bet it is.
Agent Patrick Denham: And you know what I was just thinking too? The f**king hero that I’m going to be back at the office when the bureau seizes this f**king boat, because I’m getting f**kety, f**k, f**k, Jordan. Look at this face!
[they both laugh]
Agent Patrick Denham: It’s beautiful! And you got the beautiful girls there. It’s wonderful.
Jordan Belfort: Alright, get the f**k off my boat.
[Denham and Hughes start to leave]
Agent Patrick Denham: I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other real soon.
Jordan Belfort: I’m sure. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly f**king wives. I’m going to have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Hey, you guys want to take some lobsters for your ride home.


 

[he picks up some lobsters and throws it down the stair as Denham and Hughes are walking away]
Jordan Belfort: F**king miserable pricks, I know you can’t afford them! f**king cheap f**ks. f**king miserable pricks.
[he walks over to the side of the boat and whistles at Denham and Hughes]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, fellas! Look what I found in my pocket! Look!
[he pulls out a big wad of cash]
Jordan Belfort: A year’s salary, right here! You know what I call them? Fun coupons.
[he starts throwing the money at Denham and Hughes as they walk away]
Jordan Belfort: See that? They’re fun coupons!


 

[in their bedroom Naomi helps Jordan pack a suitcase]
Naomi Lapaglia: Switzerland? What the f**k is in Switzerland?
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Swiss f**king banks, that’s what. It was a** covering time, I had to hide my money. Enter Rugrat.
[we see Jordan talking with Nicky and Donnie in a conference room at work]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] He knew this Swiss Banker from law school, but he was in Geneva, and there was no way I was going to make that flight sober. So I knew if I took my drugs right I could sleep through the entire flight. But I had to take them just right.
[he opens up a bottle of pills empties the pills into his hands, starts taking some and offers the rest to Nicky and Donnie]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] At four p.m. I popped a few more ludes, which start kicking in by the time I finished my sales meeting. My tingle phase. By dinner, I popped a few more, on top of some cocktails and a Valium or two. My slur phase. By eight thirty, I took a few more ludes, I pretty much lost all my motor skill. This was the drool phase. And by ten, I didn’t know who or what the f**k I was. The amnesia phase. I boarded the plane just before midnight.
[as he boards the plane, looking like he’s completely out of it, he starts flirting with the stewardess]
Jordan Belfort: Wow, look at you! You’re beautiful.
[he takes the stewardess in his arms and tries to kiss her, she tries to push him away]
Stewardess #1: Excuse me.
[Nicky tries to pull Jordan off the Stewardess]
Nicky Koskoff: Woh. Thee sleeping pills just kicked in. It’s alright. He’s alright.
Stewardess #1: May I see your boarding passes, sir?
Jordan Belfort: We have the boarding passes.
[Nicky shows her the passes as he guides Jordan to their seats]
Jordan Belfort: Jesus Christ, I want to f**k her.


 

[Nicky places Jordan into his seat]
Jordan Belfort: Ow! f**king relax!
Nicky Koskoff: Alright. I know, I’m sorry.
Jordan Belfort: Oh my, God. You got your hand on my f**king c**k!
[to Donnie, also looking completely high, as he comes to sit next to him]
Jordan Belfort: He’s hot his hand in my d**k again.
Nicky Koskoff: I’m just trying to buckle you up.
Donnie Azoff: You got your hand on his d**k?
Jordan Belfort: You got to stop doing that in public space.
[Donnie then grabs Nicky’s wig and tries to pull it off]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God! Take it off!
[Nicky tries push their hands away from his wig]
Jordan Belfort: Take it off!
Donnie Azoff: I heard there’s a treasure map under here…
[Donnie and Jordan start laughing]
Nicky Koskoff: Stop.


 

[then one of the stewardesses comes over to them]
Stewardess #2: Excuse me, sir.
Nicky Koskoff: I know, miss.
Stewardess #2: Please sit down.
[to Jordan and Donnie]
Nicky Koskoff: Watch it.
Stewardess #2: Go back to your seat, please.
[as Nicky goes to move to his seat Jordan grabs his hand]
Jordan Belfort: What are you upset about?
Stewardess #2: Okay, go back to your seat, please.
Nicky Koskoff: I-I’m not. I’m fine.
Stewardess #2: Please go back to your seat, sir.


 

[Donnie goes for Nicky’s wig again and tries to pull it off]
Stewardess #2: I will have to call the captain. Please, sir.
[the stewardess tries to pull Nicky away from Jordan and Donnie]
Stewardess #2: Please, sit down.
[as she tries to pull Nicky away, Jordan and Donnie continue to try and pull his wig off]
Nicky Koskoff: Okay, okay, I am going!
Jordan Belfort: Okay, sorry.
Nicky Koskoff: Stop!
Jordan Belfort: Okay. Okay. We apologize. We’re going to go to sleep ma’am.


 

Donnie Azoff: Question. I want to ask you a question.
[Jordan starts kissing Donnie’s cheek]
Stewardess #2: Fasten your seatbelt, sir.
Donnie Azoff: I, okay.
Stewardess #2: We cannot take off if you haven’t fastened your seatbelt.
[Donnie gets up to look for his seatbelt]
Donnie Azoff: Alright, alright, alright.
Jordan Belfort: I’m really horny too.
Stewardess #2: Sit down, fasten it.
Donnie Azoff: Okay, I’ll sit down.
Stewardess #2: I will do it for you.
Donnie Azoff: What?
Stewardess #2: I will do it for you.
Donnie Azoff: Okay.
Jordan Belfort: You got to speak English.
[Donnie sits back in his seat]


 

Donnie Azoff: Come do it for me.
Jordan Belfort: We don’t understand this language you speak.
Donnie Azoff: Come here. Come here.
Stewardess #2: I will help him with his seatbelt.
[she goes over to help Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: He’s a f**king idiot. You got to put it on right.
Donnie Azoff: You’re going to help me with my…
[she pushes Donnie back into his seat]
Stewardess #2: Sit back. Sit back, sir.
Jordan Belfort: There you go. Yeah, there you go!
[Jordan laughs as he pushes the stewardess into Donnie]
Stewardess #2: Please! Hilfe!
[Donnie and Jordan start making fun of her]
Donnie Azoff: Hilfe!
Jordan Belfort: Hilfe!
Donnie Azoff: Hilfe!
Jordan Belfort: Hilfe!
Donnie Azoff: Hilfe!


 

[couple of hours later Jordan wakes and sees that he’s been tied to his chair with his seatbelt]
Jordan Belfort: Jesus Christ. f**k! Donnie. Donnie, this isn’t, this isn’t funny. You got to untie me, buddy.
Donnie Azoff: I can’t untie you. The captain tied you up, he almost f**king tasered you.
Jordan Belfort: Why?
Donnie Azoff: Why?


 

[we see flashback to all of Jordon’s lewd, grabbing the stewardesses]
Donnie Azoff: You were like screaming at people.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, f**k.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, you were on the floor, like rolling around and sh*t.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus.
Donnie Azoff: You called the captain the N word.
Jordan Belfort: I called the captain the N word?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, he was very upset.
Jordan Belfort: Really?
Donnie Azoff: Lucky we were in first class.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus.
Donnie Azoff: Jesus Christ, I think you have a f**king drug problem!
Jordan Belfort: Where are the ludes? Where are the ludes?
Donnie Azoff: They’re up my a**, don’t worry about it. I got it.
Jordan Belfort: Thank God. Jesus Christ, what are we going to do when we get to Switzerland, buddy? This is bad.


 

[referring to the seatbelt]
Jordan Belfort: These things are against my chest, I can’t breathe. Come on, do something to calm me down, please?
Donnie Azoff: Okay, shut the f**k up. Just shut the f**k up.
[Jordan starts whining]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, please!
Donnie Azoff: Okay! Ssh. Ssh.
[Donnie starts stroking Jordan’s face to calm him down]
Jordan Belfort: That’s good.
Donnie Azoff: Go to sleep.
Jordan Belfort: Rub it a bit harder, buddy.
Donnie Azoff: You’re alright. We all love…
Jordan Belfort: You…
Donnie Azoff: Shut the f**k up!


 

[in the customs office Jordan sits facing a customs officer who’s looking through his paperwork when another officer says something to him]
Swiss Customs Officer #1: Mr. Belfort, you’re free to go.
[he hands Jordan his passport]
Jordan Belfort: Really?
[the customs officer extends his hand to Jordan to shake and Jordan hits it playfully]
Jordan Belfort: Wooh!
[as they are being drive to the bank]
Nicky Koskoff: Hey, Donnie?
Donnie Azoff: Yeah?
Nicky Koskoff: When we get up there, try not to act like yourself, okay? Let’s make Geneva an a**hole free Donnie zone, alright?
Donnie Azoff: What are you f**king coming to me for?
Nicky Koskoff: Hey, listen. The only reason you’re sitting in this limo and not a Swiss jail is because of my friend. Okay?
Jordan Belfort: Hilfe!
[Jordan and Donnie start laughing and just then they arrive at the Swiss bank]
Nicky Koskoff: We’re here, here. We’re here. We’re here. I’m going to calm down.


 

[in the lobby of the bank they are met by Jean Jacques Saurel]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Jordan Belfort, at last. Nicholas has told me so much about you.
Nicky Koskoff: Jordan, Jean Jacques Saurel.
Jordan Belfort: Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
[they shake hands]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Nice to meet you.


 

[later they are all sat in Saurel’s office drinking coffee]
Jean Jacques Saurel: It’s a joke. It’s a joke.
Donnie Azoff: You understand, when you’re in the f**king seat.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Ah, okay.
Donnie Azoff: You need a bigger couch for a desk
Jean Jacques Saurel: I don’t understand, I’m sorry.
Jordan Belfort: I’m curious about your bank secrecy laws here.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Uh, wait, yes. Excusez-moi, Jordan, Swiss custom requires minutes of, uh, blah, blah, blah…
Nicky Koskoff: Chit chat.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah, chit chat, thank you, before business can be discussed.
[Jordan stares at him]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah.
[there’s an awkward moment of silence before Saurel realizes Jordan isn’t going comply]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Of course, let’s get down to it. What would you like to know?


 

Jordan Belfort: Under what circumstances would you be obligated to cooperate with an FBI or a U.S. Justice Department investigation, for example?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Ca depend.
Jordan Belfort: Ca depend?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Oui.
Jordan Belfort: Ca depend on what exactly?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Whether America plans to invade Switzerland in the coming months.
[they all laugh]


 

Nicky Koskoff: So check if tanks are rolling down the Rue de la Croix, huh?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yes, Rue de La Croix
Nicky Koskoff: Croix! Croix!
Jean Jacques Saurel: La Croix.
Nicky Koskoff: Croix.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Not Croi, it’s not Rue de La Cry. La Croix.
Nicky Koskoff: This is what he used to do back in law school, check me. Champagne, Champagna.
[Nicky laughs]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah.
Nicky Koskoff: Yeah, yeah. French fries, pommes frites.
[does an awkward laugh]
Nicky Koskoff: And that kind of, that kind of stuff.


 

[Jordan stares at Saurel]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] What I’m asking, you Swiss d**k, is are you going to f**k me over?
[Saurel stares back at Jordan]
Jean Jacques Saurel: [voice over] I understand perfectly, you American sh*t.
[then he says out loud]
Jean Jacques Saurel: The only way the Banque Real de Geneve would cooperate with a foreign legal body is if the crime being pursued is also a crime in Switzerland. But there are very few Swiss laws which apply to your, um, practices.
Jordan Belfort: Mm.
Jean Jacques Saurel: From a financial standpoint, you are now in heaven.
Nicky Koskoff: See, I told you he was fantastic, right?


 

Jean Jacques Saurel: If the U.S. Justice Department sent us as subpoena, it would become, um, papier-toillette. We would wipe our a** with it.
[the others laugh]
Jordan Belfort: Unless of course it was an investigation into stock fraud, which is a crime here in Switzerland, if I’m correct. Then there would have to be co-operation on your part, if I’m not mistaken.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yes. Yes, we would. Mm-hmm. Assuming the account is under your name. If it were another name, a friends, camarade.
Nicky Koskoff: Cousin.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Cousin, absolument.
[Saurel smiles at Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Relative.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: Hm.


 

[staring at each other]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Was that yodeling I just heard or did you just say what I thought you said?
Jean Jacques Saurel: [voice over] Yes. Yes.
[the meeting ends with everyone shaking hands]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] He’s telling me to use a f**king rathole. But a U.S. rathole would never get into Switzerland with all that money. What I needed was a rathole with a European passport.


 

[Jordan travels to England and visits Naomi’s aunt in London, she opens her apartment door and greets him]
Aunt Emma: Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Hey. How’s my favorite aunt, huh?
Aunt Emma: Welcome. Was the traffic terrible?
Jordan Belfort: Oh, no, not at all.
[they kiss each other’s cheeks]
Aunt Emma: Come in.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Thank God Aunt Emma didn’t need too much convincing. Turned out the British weren’t too different from the Swiss. Money talks and bullsh*t takes the bus. How do you say rathole in British?


 

[Jordan and Aunt Emma walk in the as he explains to her what her wants from her]
Jordan Belfort: If you get in to any trouble whatsoever, I’ll come forth immediately, I’ll say that I duped you. That I promise.
Aunt Emma: Risk is what keeps us young, isn’t it, darling?
[they sit on a park bench]
Aunt Emma: Sometimes I wonder if you let money get the best of you, my love. Among other substances.
Jordan Belfort: Oh.
[Jordan chuckles]
Jordan Belfort: It’s that obvious, huh?
[she touches his forehead]
Aunt Emma: It’s chilly darling and you’re sweating bullets.
Jordan Belfort: What can I say, I’m a drug addict. I really am, I mean, cocaine, pills, whatever it is I’ll f**king do it. That’s the truth. I’m a sex addict too.
Aunt Emma: Well there are worse things to be addicted to than sex.
[she laughs]


 

Jordan Belfort: Jesus, why am I telling you all this? Why am I…? I’m sorry.
[they both laugh]
Aunt Emma: Because I’m very easy to talk to
Jordan Belfort: You are. You are easy to talk to.
Aunt Emma: Mm.


 

Jordan Belfort: I suppose it’s just my job, you know? It’s, uh, you know, all these people dependent on me, tens of millions of dollars at stake. You know, it’s sometimes I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, you know?
Aunt Emma: You’re a man with large appetites.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
[as he stares at her]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Is she f**king hitting on me?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Yeah, I am. I suppose I put that on myself though, right? My decision. It’s just hard to, hard to learn to control the anxiety, sometimes, you know? You know, to learn to relax and let go, and…
Aunt Emma: To release the tension?


 

[they stare at each other for a moment]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] She is hitting on me. Holy sh*t.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Yeah, to release the tension.
[he leans in closer to her]
Jordan Belfort: I suppose we, uh, we all just need to learn to, learn to do what comes naturally in life, you know?
Aunt Emma: [voice over] Is he f**king hitting on me?
[suddenly he kisses her but she stops him]
Aunt Emma: Stability, dear. Family.
[he pulls back and nods his head]
Aunt Emma: You take care of my niece, my love. I’ll take care of everything over here.
Jordan Belfort: Deal.


 

[back at home, Jordan has sex with Naomi on their bed which is covered in cash]
Jordan Belfort: Hold on! There you go! Oh! Wooh!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] We had, literally, a f**k load of money. Aunt Emma could never carry all this by herself. So I thought to myself, who else has European passport?
[we see Brad taping stacks of cash onto his wife]
Chantalle: Okay Brad, you’re making this too f**king tight.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Now, Brad, as a successful drug dealer, spent his winters in the South of France, which is where he met his wife, Chantalle, a striper of Slovenian origin, born in, of all places, Switzerland.


 

[Jordan, Naomi, Donnie and Brad stare at Chantalle after Brad has finished taping the money to her body]
Jordan Belfort: Well, this is f**ked.
Chantalle: Oh, no sh*t.
Naomi Lapaglia: Like this will take her, like, fifty trips.
Jordan Belfort: I know.
Brad: Let me ask you something, what about her family? Right? I mean, they all got Swiss passports, right? I mean, she’s got parents, she’s got a brother. Right? Brother’s got a wife, that’s five f**king people. Six, seven trips, boom, right? They’re all f**king Swiss nitwits like her, they’ll do it.
Jordan Belfort: We could do that.
Chantalle: At least I have a family, you crooked nose f**k!


 

Donnie Azoff: Hey, hey, uh, don’t forget about my money.
Brad: I’m sorry, what’s that?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah. I forgot to tell you, he’s got some, he’s got some…
Donnie Azoff: My money. I got a couple of mil coming in like a week.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: And when it gets here I’ll give you a call, you can come pick it up.
Brad: You’ll give me a call?
Donnie Azoff: When it gets here, I’ll give you a call and you’ll come pick it up.
Chantalle: Well, we don’t f**king work for you, man!
Brad: Shh-shh-shh…
Donnie Azoff: Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Okay? Technically you do work for me.
Brad: Hey, Jordan, we’re going to need to talk.


 

[Brad talks to Jordan on the balcony]
Brad: If I f**king do this, I’m telling you right now, I ain’t going to him.
Jordan Belfort: Okay, I got it.
Brad: Okay? I’m not a f**king Schwartz, I don’t do f**king pick-ups, alright?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah. I got it, I got it.
Brad: Now, listen to me.
Jordan Belfort: I’m going to take care of everything.
Brad: We meet some place that I f**king say, and you tell that f**king piece of sh*t, he comes correct.
Jordan Belfort: I will.
Brad: If he comes in all f**king loopy and f**ked up, I swear to God, I’m going to a mash that douchebag’s teeth.
[just them Donnie storms through onto the balcony]
Donnie Azoff: You’re going to mash who’s f**king teeth in?! Who’s f**king teeth are you going to mash in?!
[as he comes stomping towards Brad Jordan tries to stop him]
Jordan Belfort: Relax.
Donnie Azoff: I put the money on that f**king table, not you!


 

[Brad takes out his gun and Jordan quickly takes it from him]
Jordan Belfort: Stop that!
Donnie Azoff: I’m the reason we have this whole f**king deal!
Jordan Belfort: He’s got a gun, you f**king idiot!
Donnie Azoff: F**k his gun!
Jordan Belfort: I already took care of it…
Donnie Azoff: You know what? You’re a f**king pill deal! I got five more just like you, bro!
Brad: Go on, keep talking, you f**king piece of sh*t!
Donnie Azoff: And you know what else? You dress like sh*t! So, f**k you!
Brad: You f**king motherf**ker!
[suddenly Brad punches Donnie in the face knocking him out]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus!
Brad: How about that, faggot? Who’s the faggot? Chantalle, get your sh*t!
[Jordan tries to wake Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: You okay? Hey, pal?


 

[we see Aunt Emma walking through the airport]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The next day, Aunt Emma flew to Geneva. Two million in cash in her carry on, which in the big picture was a drop in the Swiss bucket. Because the following month, over the course of six roundtrips, Chantalle’s family and friends smuggled in over twenty million in cash without even a hiccup.
[we see Chantalle handing over a suitcase full of cash to Saurel, he laughs at seeing the money]
Chantalle: And I have some more.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Really?
[Chantalle takes some cash out of the lining of her jacket]
Chantalle: Here.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Oh, thank you.
Chantalle: And here.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Welcome.
[they both laugh]


 

Chantalle: Welcome.
[Chantalle hands him more cash from where she’s hidden them in her jacket]
Chantalle: And yeah, like four bags of it.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Ooph. Are you, uh, Swiss-Slovakian or Swiss-Slovenian?
Chantalle: Slovenian.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Slovenian.
Chantalle: Yeah.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Okay.


 

[Brad waits in his for Donnie to arrive, Donnie arrives in his car, clearly high as the car swerve to a stop and he forgets to put the brakes on as he goes to get out]
Donnie Azoff: Oh, sh*t.
Brad: Just put the f**king car in parked, you dumb f**king idiot!
Donnie Azoff: Yeah. Yeah, close the briefcase.
[Donnie struggles to get out of the car and walk over to Brad]
Brad: One f**king day, one f**king day you couldn’t keep it together?
Donnie Azoff: I was f**ked up, Brad.
Brad: You got to be f**king kidding me!
Donnie Azoff: I f**ked up.
[suddenly Donnie stands tall looking totally sober]
Donnie Azoff: It’s a joke!
Brad: It’s a joke?
Donnie Azoff: I’m sober.
Brad: Jesus f**king Christ.
Donnie Azoff: It’s a f**king joke.


 

Brad: Are you f**king stupid?
Donnie Azoff: I’m not stupid. You know what?
Brad: You f**king drive here like a f**king maniac. Do you know the attention that f**king draws?
Donnie Azoff: You know what? I’m not stupid. I’m smart.
Brad: You’re smart?
Donnie Azoff: I make million dollar deals.
Brad: Is that right?
Donnie Azoff: With smart important people, unlike you.
Brad: Unlike me.
Donnie Azoff: People who don’t sucker punch people when they’re scared, okay?
Brad: I’m scared now.
Donnie Azoff: And by the way, I haven’t got an apology yet for that.
Brad: Oh, an apology? Okay.


 

Donnie Azoff: I check my f**king messages everyday when I come home from work.
Brad: Did you? You didn’t got one, huh?
Donnie Azoff: My answering machine, zero! I got a blinking light because I don’t have sh*t from you.
Brad: Is that right? You know what? You got a big f**king mouth.
Donnie Azoff: I got my wife, I got my wife checking the messages every forty-five minutes calling the office saying, “Has Brad apologized yet? Is there an apology message on the machine?”
Brad: A f**king apology. You know what?
Donnie Azoff: I don’t have Jack sh*t. You know what? That’s not how you treat people
Brad: Yeah, I understand. You got a big f**king mouth, you know? I’m not going to give you a f**king pass, just give me the case so I can get out of here.
Donnie Azoff: Oh, you’re going to give me a pass?
Brad: Look, it’s a figure of f**king speech. Just give me the f**king…
Donnie Azoff: Oh, my God, the Emperor of f**ksville came down from f**ksville to give me a pass!
Brad: Oh, f**ksville, huh?
Donnie Azoff: Hey, what are the citizens of f**ksville doing today when their Emperor’s gone?
Brad: Listen, I’m begging you.
Donnie Azoff: Is it mayhem? Are people looting and raping? What are all the little f**kheads doing while you’re here?
[just then a police patrol car drives up and notices them arguing in the street]


 

Brad: Go f**k yourself! Give me the f**king bag.
[Brad takes a step towards Donnie but Donnie pulls back]
Donnie Azoff: Hey, you back the f**k up!
Brad: Alright, alright.
Donnie Azoff: Or I’ll f**king cause a scene than I’ve ever caused in my life if you come at me again.
Brad: Just f**king keep it down.
Donnie Azoff: You know what? I got it. I don’t want to be out of line or anything, but I think you like like me. Like you, like when you come at me, because you look at me
Brad: What the f**k is the matter with you? What the f**k…?
Donnie Azoff: I swear, I’ve just noticed you have like a f**king like…
Brad: Just give me the f**king…
[Brad goes to grab the case but Donnie pulls back]
Donnie Azoff: Like a twinkle. You have like a twinkle. Are you trying to kiss me, bro?
Brad: Jesus f**king Christ.
Donnie Azoff: Bro, are you trying…?


 

Brad: What’s with you?
Donnie Azoff: I have like a, I don’t know, I just, listen, it’s not a homophobic thing.
Brad: Alright.
Donnie Azoff: You’re just not the one for me, pal.
Brad: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Donnie Azoff: You know what I mean? It’s not, it’s not about that for me. You know? You understand?
Brad: I’ve heard enough, please. I’m begging, give me the f**king case. Okay?
Donnie Azoff: I going to give you the case.
Brad: Give me the case.
Donnie Azoff: You got to do me one favor.
Brad: What’s that?
Donnie Azoff: You got to take this case, you got to drive straight home, you know. And I need you to open up the briefcase, I need you to take out every single dollar, don’t leave one dollar inside the briefcase. I want you to have it all neatly organized outside the briefcase, and you to take it, and you just shove it right up your wife’s Slatvian c**t, you understand?
[Donnie gives him the finger and Brad goes to attack Donnie]


 

Brad: Oh, my f**king wife?
[Donnie drops the case and turns to make a run for it]
Donnie Azoff: F**king chill!
[Brad trips over the case causing it to open and the cash to fall out]
Donnie Azoff: F**king chill, bro!
Brad: You motherf**king piece of sh*t!
[Donnie gets his in his car and Brad goes to grab him]
Brad: How about now?
[the police car sounds its siren and drives over to them]
Donnie Azoff: Let go, let go!
Brad: Come on. f**k!
[Brad turns to quickly grab the briefcase, Donnie quickly drives off and Brad tries to run after Donnie]
Brad: M*therf**ker! You f**king d**k!


 

[the police car stops, two police officers gets out and go after Brad]
Cop #1: Stop! Don’t move! Don’t move! I’m going to blow you the f**k away! I’m going to blow you the f**k away!
[Brad stops running]
Cop #1: Drop the case! Put your hands in the air!
[Brad drops the case and puts his hands up]
Cop #1: Get down!
[Brad yells]
Cop #1: Get on your knees! Get down on your knees!
[Donnie watches from his car in the background as Brad gets arrested]
Brad: M*therf**ker! You motherf**king piece of sh*t! Motherf**ker!
[Donnie quickly drives off as Brad is placed into the police car]


 

[Donnie is sat behind his desk in his office looking freaked out, he decides to go to Jordan]
Donnie Azoff: Jord, do I have a surprise for you.
[he takes out a bottle from his pocket and shows it to Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: What’s that?
Donnie Azoff: Twenty real Lemmons. A retired pharmacist client of mine, they’ve been in his safe for fifteen years.
Jordan Belfort: Are you f**king kidding me? Lemmons?
[he laughs]
Donnie Azoff: They’re going to knock us out off our f**king heads.
[Jordan drops the pills into the palm of his hand]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] When it comes to Quaaludes, the Lemmon 714 was the Holy Grail.
Donnie Azoff: Can you believe it?
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God.
Donnie Azoff: I thought they were like a myth.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Three times as powerful as anything available today.
Jordan Belfort: Look at these babies.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Boy, Donnie really knew how to celebrate. He said he was saving these for a special occasion, like a birthday, or being clap free. Or my money arriving safely in Switzerland.
Jordan Belfort: We’re going to die!
[we see Jordan in his underwear bent over the toilet trying to make himself throw up]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] So that night I cleared my schedule and I rid my body of anything that could f**k with my high.
[we then see him giving himself an enema by using “Active Enema”]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was celebration time.


 

[Jordan places a tray containing the bottle of Lemmons before them]
Jordan Belfort: Okay. We start off with one, see how it’ll go?
Donnie Azoff: My guy says all we need is one.
[Jordan gives Donnie one pill and takes one for himself]
Jordan Belfort: Here you go.
Donnie Azoff: Salute.
Jordan Belfort: Cheers.
[the knock their pills together before popping them; a little later we see them sitting on the couch watching “Family Matters” on TV]
Jordan Belfort: You feel anything?
[Donnie hesitates a moment before replying]
Donnie Azoff: No.


 

[he checks his watch]
Donnie Azoff: It’s been thirty-five minutes.
Jordan Belfort: Hm. Maybe we built up a tolerance after all these years, huh?
Donnie Azoff: Hm.
[there’s a moment’s pause before they suddenly both sit up and Jordan grabs the bottle of Lemmons and gives some pills to Donnie and takes more pills himself; a little later we see them in Jordan’s gym working out]
Donnie Azoff: This is bullsh*t! My metabolism’s pumping, I can’t feel sh*t!
Jordan Belfort: They’re old. You think they lost their potency? Huh? Check the bottle!
[Donnie looks at the date on the bottle]
Donnie Azoff: January ’81. They’re f**king duds.
Jordan Belfort: F**k!
Donnie Azoff: Let’s take, uh, let’s take two more each.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.


 

[they both pop some more pills, just then Naomi, who’s pregnant, comes down]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan!
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, babe?
Naomi Lapaglia: What are you two retards doing?
Jordan Belfort: We’re working out, honey.
Naomi Lapaglia: Well, Bo Dietl’s on the phone.
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
Naomi Lapaglia: Okay?
Jordan Belfort: Okay.


 

[on the phone to Bo]
Jordan Belfort: Hey! Bo, what’s going on?
Bo Dietl: Jordan, listen to me clearly. I cannot talk to you on this phone, I have to talk to you.
Jordan Belfort: Get out of here. What’s going on?
Bo Dietl: Listen to me, leave the f**king house, Jordan! And then call me from a payphone. This is not a f**king joke, Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
[Jordan hangs up the phone]
Jordan Belfort: Sh*t.
Donnie Azoff: What’s, what did he say?
Jordan Belfort: I don’t know what the f**k is going on. I got to go!
[Jordan rushes off]
Donnie Azoff: Is everything okay, Jord?
[Donnie looks worried as Jordan rushes off and takes some more of the pills]
Donnie Azoff: F**k. f**k.


 

[Jordan drives off to find a payphone to call Bo]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The closest payphone I could get to was at the Brookville Country Club. It was a real WASP stronghold, just a mile down the road from my house.
[Jordan stops outside the club, then enters inside to quickly make the call from one of the payphones]
Jordan Belfort: Hey, Bo. What’s up? It’s me. What’s going on? I’m at a payphone, what’s going on?
Bo Dietl: Listen to me carefully, please. Your little friend there, Brad, your little buddy, he’s in jail.
Jordan Belfort: He’s, what the f**k is he in jail for? What did he do?
Bo Dietl: I don’t know what he did. My friend’s in Long Island, he told me he got picked up in some f**king shopping mall. He got locked up…
Jordan Belfort: Wait, wait. Did, did…
Bo Dietl: I’m still trying to find out what for.
Jordan Belfort: Wait. Did you say a shopping mall?
Bo Dietl: Yeah, yeah.
Jordan Belfort: He was with Donnie. he was supposed to deliver some money, and that f**king fat piece of sh*t.
Bo Dietl: Listen to me…
Jordan Belfort: I’m going to go f**king talk to him right now.


 

Bo Dietl: Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. Listen to me! Don’t go! Listen to me. That guy, Denham, that FBI agent guy, somebody told me he’s got your phones tapped. Your office and your home. Don’t talk on the motherf**king phone!
Jordan Belfort: Okay. f**k! I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it.
Bo Dietl: Jordan, you didn’t, you didn’t try to bribe this f**king FBI agent, did you?
Jordan Belfort: No, I didn’t try to bribe an FBI agent. You think I’m that f**king stupid? No.
Bo Dietl: What the f**k did you say? I can’t understand. Say that again!
Jordan Belfort: I said, I…
[Jordan starts slurring his words]
Bo Dietl: What the f**k are you saying?
Jordan Belfort: I said…
Bo Dietl: Are you f**king high?!
Jordan Belfort: Are you kidding me?
[he starts slurring his words again]
Bo Dietl: Jordan, are you f**king high? Jordan, do me a favor. Stay where you are! Don’t get behind the wheel of the car.
[suddenly Jordan collapses]
Bo Dietl: I’m going to send someone over to pick you up. Jordan! Jordan!


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] After fifteen years in storage, the Lemmons had developed a delayed fuse. It took ninety minutes for these little f**kers to kick in, but once they did, pow! I mean, I had skipped the tingle phase and went straight to the drool phase.
[as he lies on the floor drooling, Bo is still shouting over the phone]
Bo Dietl: Tell me where you are? Don’t f**king drive!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] These little bastard were so strong I discovered a whole new phase; the cerebral palsy phase.
[Jordan drools and lolls around on the floor desperately trying to reach the phone]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Come on, stand up.
[he’s clearly unable to stand]


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Okay, walking’s out. Alright, think. Think. What else is there?
[Jordan rolls over and starts crawling]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Yes! I can crawl. I can crawl like Skylar.
[Jordan crawls out of the country club and makes it to the front steps, he stares at the steps for a moment before attempting to crawl down them but can’t make it]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] f**k! The kid makes it look so Goddamn easy.
[he looks at the steps again]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Think, you motherf**ker, think. Yes! I got it. I’ve got it. I can roll! I can roll!
[he positions himself at the edge of the steps, makes himself roll down them and lands at the bottom in a thud, he then crawls over to his car and manages to open the car door with this foot when his car phone rings]


 

[Jordan manages to pick up the phone in the car]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan?
[Jordan groans]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan?
[Jordan groans again]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, Jesus. Where are you?
[he slurs something that sounds like]
Jordan Belfort: I’m at the Country Club.
Naomi Lapaglia: What?


 

[he slurs the words out again]
Jordan Belfort: I’m at the Country Club!
Naomi Lapaglia: I don’t know what the f**k you’re saying, but you need to get home. Donnie is out of control. He’s on the other line with some Swiss guy, I don’t know..
[in a slurred voice]
Jordan Belfort: What?! Get him off the phone!
Naomi Lapaglia: I can’t understand you.
Jordan Belfort: Get him off the phone!
Naomi Lapaglia: What the f**k are you saying, Jordan? Can you just get home? Hurry.
Jordan Belfort: Oh my, God!
[he crawls into his car moaning and groaning and in his drugged up state he starts pulling out of the country club]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I was less than a mile from home, I drove as slow as I f**king could. I’d seen jello move faster.


 

[back at Jordan’s house Donnie, who is also now completely high is on the phone to Saurel speaking in a slurred and unintelligible voice]
Donnie Azoff: I was going to give you two million. It’s going to be late.
Jean Jacques Saurel: You ate two million?
Donnie Azoff: Later!
[as he drives home]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Get off the phone, get off the f**king phone, idiot!
[as he’s driving so slowly the car behind him beeps its horn and overtakes Jordan]
Driver: Get out of the way, a**hole!


 

[back at the Jordan’s house Donnie continues his unintelligible conversation with Saurel]
Donnie Azoff: Too late, and it’s…
Jean Jacques Saurel: You hate two million? No, you don’t hate two million, Donnie.
[Jordan finally arrives home and stops outside the house]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] By some miracle, I made it home alive. Not a scratch on me or the car.
[Jordan manages to get out of the car and make into the house]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan? Oh, Jesus f**king Christ! What did you take?
[Jordon tries to make it to the kitchen where Donnie is talking on the phone]
Naomi Lapaglia: What is wrong with you?
Donnie Azoff: Jordan! It’s f**king good, right? It’s f**ked up.


 

[as Jordan tries to make his way to Donnie]
Naomi Lapaglia: What the f**k are you saying?
Get off the phone!
Naomi Lapaglia: I don’t know what you’re saying.
[Jordan staggers towards Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: Get off the phone!
[Jordan throws himself across the kitchen counter to get to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: Get off the phone!
[he drops a plate of fruit to the floor]
Naomi Lapaglia: What the f**k, Jordan?
[Jordan is flailing across the kitchen counter trying to grab Donnie]
Naomi Lapaglia: Your daughter’s in the house, I hope you know that! Your f**king daughter’s in the house!
[Skylar watches from the background as Jordan tries to grab Donnie]


 

[as Jordan continues to try and get Donnie off the phone]
Jordan Belfort: Get off the phone!
[Donnie laughs still holding the phone]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jesus Christ, Jordan!
Jordan Belfort: The FBI!
Donnie Azoff: Aah! I’m on the phone!
Jordan Belfort: Get off the phone!
[Jordan grabs the phone cord and starts to pull it but Donnie pulls it the other way]
Donnie Azoff: Give me the phone!


 

[Naomi goes over to Skylar as Jordan continues to grab the phone off Donnie]
Naomi Lapaglia: Come on. We’re going to go upstairs, alright?
[Jordan manages to land on the ground beside Donnie and he grabs hold of him]
Jordan Belfort: I know what you did, you piece of sh*t!
Donnie Azoff: What? What?
Jordan Belfort: Brad! Huh?! Brad! Brad! You f**king a**hole!
[whilst both are on the floor, Donnie tries to get away from Jordan but Jordan grabs his leg and pulls him back]
Jordan Belfort: I’m going to f**king break your face. What did you do? You piece of sh*t! I’m going to f**king kill you. I’m going to f**king kill you.
[Donnie tries to throw a plate on the floor at Jordan but Jordan just throws it back at him, then as Donnie tries to crawl away his foot is caught on the phone cord which Jordan has a hold of]
Jordan Belfort: I got you!
[Donnie manages to untangle his foot from the phone cord and gets up, he goes over to the dining room, he sees a plate of ham and starts shoving the ham into his mouth, then he starts choking and falls back breaking the dining room table]


 

[as she sees Jordan passed out and Donnie chocking on the dining room floor]
Naomi Lapaglia: What the f**k happened? Oh, sh*t!
[she tries to wake Jordan, who’s lying on the kitchen floor]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan? Jordan, are you alright?
[Jordan comes to and groans out]
Jordan Belfort: I’m fine.
[Naomi rushes over to Donnie]
Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie? Donnie?
[she sees Donnie is turning blue]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, he’s not breathing! Oh, f**k! I don’t know what to do! Jordan, I don’t know what the f**k to do! I can’t help him! Oh, my God! Jordan.
[just then Jordan looks at the TV which is showing a Popeye cartoon]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, my God, I think he’s choking. Jordan. Do something! Oh, God!
Jordan Belfort: Baby, I got you!
Naomi Lapaglia: He’s not breathing, Jordan. You got to do something!
[Jordan manages to crawl over to get a box out of one of the kitchen drawers]
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, sh*t! Oh, my God!
Jordan Belfort: I got you!
[Jordan watches the Popeye cartoon on TV again where it’s showing Popeye eating a can of spinach which makes him strong, so Jordan gets his vial of coke and pours the whole thing into his nose, with that he manages to stand]
Jordan Belfort: Oh! Step aside! Oh, my God! Oh, God!
[he then untangles the phone cord from around him]


 

Jordan Belfort: Move aside, baby!
[Naomi steps aside, Jordan goes over to Donnie and opens his mouth]
Jordan Belfort: Come here!
[Jordan gets the piece of ham out of Donnie’s mouth and starts pumping his chest]
Jordan Belfort: Come on! Come on! Come on!
[Donnie is still struggling to breath]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, he’s not breathing, you got to do something!


 

[Jordan stares at Donnie for a moment]
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, he’s a father, he’s got f**king kids, do something!
Jordan Belfort: Yeah! Yeah.
[Jordan opens Donnie’s mouth and starts breathing air into his lungs, he then pumps Donnie’s chest again; we hear Naomi calling their bodyguard]
Naomi Lapaglia: Rocco, you got to get over here, call the ambulance. I don’t f**king know! Get over here, call 911!
[as Jordan furiously pumps Donnie’s chest suddenly a piece of ham comes flying out of Donnie’s mouth and he starts breathing, Jordan starts yelling and beating his own chest, he then looks at Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: You alright? Are you alright?
[Jordan then walks to the living room, falls on the couch and passes out]


 

[later Jordan hears his name being called]
Brookville Police Officer #1: Mr. Belfort?
[Jordan doesn’t respond]
Brookville Police Officer #1: Mr. Belfort?
[Jordan wakes and opens his eyes to see two police officers standing over him, Jordan mumbles out]
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k? Get out of here. f**k…
Brookville Police Officer #2: Sir, we need to ask you some questions.
Jordan Belfort: Are you f**king kidding me? f**k you!
Brookville Police Officer #1: Come on, get up!
Jordan Belfort: Get the f**k out of my house!
Brookville Police Officer #1: Let’s go. Come on, get up.
Jordan Belfort: I’ve been here all night.


 

[the two police officers go to grab Jordan]
Brookville Police Officer #1: Let’s go.
Jordan Belfort: I’ve been sitting here all night. What the f**k are you talking…
[the two officers grab hold of Jordan and starts taking him out of the living room]
Brookville Police Officer #1: Come on, let’s go.
Housekeeper: Wait a minute. Where are you taking him?
Jordan Belfort: Where the f**k are you taking…?
Brookville Police Officer #1: Come on, let’s go.
[as they drag Jordan out of the house]
Housekeeper: Where are you taking him? We ain’t got no word, you just come up into people’s house like that.


 

[as they drag Jordan out of the house]
Brookville Police Officer #2: Did you drive your car tonight, Mr. Belfort?
Jordan Belfort: Huh?
Brookville Police Officer #1: Well?
[we see that Jordan’s car has been totaled]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Wow! Maybe I hadn’t made it home okay.
[we now see in flashback what had actually happened when Jordan had driven home earlier that night when he was completely high, he’d crashed into some parked cars at the country club and whilst driving home he’d crashed into some street signs]


 

Brookville Police Officer #1: Did you drive that car tonight?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Brookville Police Officer #1: Yeah, right.
[the officers arrest Jordan and put handcuffs on him]
Jordan Belfort: I’m a family man. A family man. Honey!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was a miracle I wasn’t killed, or, you know, that I didn’t kill anybody else. The cops took me in for questioning, but they couldn’t charge me. They had no proof I was even behind the wheel. Meanwhile, Brad did three months in jail for contempt because he wouldn’t rat Donnie out. The result? I was scot free. But I had eyes on me like never before.


 

[as Jordan, Max and Manny watch Skylar pony riding]
Manny Riskin: You’re a lucky man, Jordan. You’re lucky to be alive let alone not in jail.
Jordan Belfort: You know, I don’t believe in luck, right?
Manny Riskin: But it’s time. Please, let me call the SEC and cut a deal, before your luck runs out.
Naomi Lapaglia: Wave to Daddy!
[Jordan waves to Skylar]
Naomi Lapaglia: Hey. Hey, sweetie.
[Jordan and Max laugh as Skylar waves her hands at Jordan as she’s being led on the pony]
Naomi Lapaglia: You’re doing great, sweetie. You’re doing so great.
Jordan Belfort: What kind of terms are we talking about if I, uh, you know?
Manny Riskin: I don’t know. Well, you know, you plead guilty to a handful of securities violations, stock manipulation, high pressure sales tactics, ticky-tack sh*t like that, you know? Pay a couple million dollars in fines, in exchange the SEC f**ks off till the end of time.


 

Jordan Belfort: And Stratton? I mean, what happens to Stratton?
Manny Riskin: I mean, there’s no way. You got to walk away, right? Let Donnie be in charge.
Jordan Belfort: Right, Donnie.
Manny Riskin: Now the FBI is another animal completely. They’ll still be pursuing you for criminal wrong doing. However, with you stepping down voluntarily, my guess is that your best friend, Agent Denham, will be standing around with his d**k in his hand.
Max Belfort: Jordan, What do you have to think about? You beat them! You won!
Manny Riskin: God knows you’ll never have to work again.
Max Belfort: What are you going to do? Spend the rest of your life in jail? Is that what you want?
Jordan Belfort: No. No.
Max Belfort: Okay! Okay. You got all the money in the world. You need everybody else’s money?
Jordan Belfort: Of course not, Pop.
Max Belfort: Well?
Jordan Belfort: You know, I built it.
Max Belfort: I know you built it! You built it, so now preserve it!


 

[Jordan decides to announce his leaving by holding a meeting with all his Stratton employees, as he walks over to take center stage everyone claps for him, he hugs Max and Donnie before going to take the microphone]
Jordan Belfort: You know, five years ago when I started Stratton Oakmont with Donnie Azoff, I knew the day would eventually come where I’d have to be moving on. And it’s truly with a heavy heart that I’m here to say that, that that day is finally here.
[there’s growling of shock from the brokers]
Jordan Belfort: I want to, I want to thank you all for your years of loyalty and admiration, but, uh, the point is this. Under Donnie’s leadership, along with Nicky Koskoff and Robbie Feinberg, moving into key management positions, this place really is, it’s going to be better than ever. That I promise you, okay?
[the brokers clap]


 

Jordan Belfort: This is Ellis Island, you people. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from, whether your relatives came over on the f**king’ Mayflower or on the inner tube from Haiti. This right here is the land of opportunity. Stratton Oakmont is America!
[there’s cheering and applause from the brokers]
Jordan Belfort: All of you know Kimmie Belzer, right?
Broker: Yes, we do.
Kimmie Belzer: F**k you.
Jordan Belfort: Come on, Kimmie. What you probably didn’t know is Kimmie was one of the first brokers here, one of Stratton’s original twenty. Now most of you met Kimmie, the beautiful sophisticated woman that she is today. A woman that wears three thousand dollar Armani suits. Who drives a brand new Mercedes Benz. A woman who spends her winters in the Bahamas and her summers in the Hamptons.
[there’s a murmuring of laughter as Kimmie snaps her fingers]


 

Jordan Belfort: That’s not the Kimmie that I met. The Kimmie that I met didn’t have two nickels to rub together. She was a single mom on the balls of her a** with an eight year old son. Okay? She was three months behind on her rent. And when she came to me and asked me for a job, she asked for a five thousand dollar advance, just so she could pay her son’s tuition.
[Kimmie starts to get emotional and begins to cry]
Jordan Belfort: And what I do, Kimmie? Go on, tell them.
Kimmie Belzer: You wrote me a check for twenty-five thousand dollars.
Jordan Belfort: That’s right.
Kimmie Belzer: Thank you.
Jordan Belfort: And you know why that is? It’s because I believed in you. It’s because I believed in you, Kimmie. Just like I believe in each and everyone of you here today.
Kimmie Belzer: I f**king love you, Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: I f**king love you.
Kimmie Belzer: I f**king love you. I love you.
[the brokers applaud and cheer]
Jordan Belfort: I f**king love you too! I f**king love you too! And I love all of you! I love all of you from the bottom of my heart. I mean that!


 

[as Jordan carries on his farewell speech to his brokers]
Jordan Belfort: It’s a shame, you know, because for years I’ve been telling you guys never to take no for an answer, right? You know, to keep pushing, to never hang up the phone until you get what you want, because you all deserve it. You know this f**king deal that I’m about to sign, barring me from the securities industry, barring me from Stratton, my home.
[Jordan chuckles]
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k is that? You know? I’ll tell you what it is, it’s me taking no for an answer, you know? It’s them, it’s them selling me, not the other way around. It’s me being a hypocrite is what it is. So…
[he hesitates for a moment]
Jordan Belfort: You know what? I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving. I’m not f**king leaving!
[the brokers go crazy cheering and clapping]


 

Jordan Belfort: The show goes on! This is my home! They’re going to need a f**king wrecking ball to take me out of here! They’re going to need to send in the National Guard or a f**king SWAT team, because I ain’t going nowhere!
[they brokers continue to cheer and clap]
Jordan Belfort: F**k them!
[Jordan starts doing the rhythmic chant and pounding his chest that Mark Hanna had shown him when he first became a broker and he gets all his brokers to do the chanting, then he starts walking off, Max grabs the microphone to call after Jordan]
Max Belfort: Jordy! Jordy! Jordy, get back here!
[Donnie tries to grab the microphone from Max]
Max Belfort: Hey! Give me that!
[Max grabs the microphone back; referring to everyone on the floor going crazy doing the chanting]
Max Belfort: What is this? Drama of the jungle, for Christ sake!


 

[Dunham gets the news that Jordan is not leaving Stratton on the phone]
Voice on Phone: How did he mazel tov you, Irishman? Jordan Belfort just welshed on his deal with the SEC, he is back in the ocean. Happing hunting.
[Jordan and his brokers celebrate by partying on his yacht]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It was our time to party big, and just as Brad was released from jail too. I apologized, even offered to pay him for his time in the can. But he said no, that he was out. He didn’t want any part of us. Sad thing was, two years later, he was dead. Massive heart attack at thirty-five, same age Mozart died. Not that they have a hell of a lot in common, but, anyway, I don’t know why that came to mind. Within days, subpoenas started flying. Notices to produce documents, depositions, you name it. Donnie couldn’t drink water fast enough.


 

[Donnie is standing on a desk in the office holding a subpoena up to show the brokers]
Donnie Azoff: United States government wants to give me a subpoena, here’s what we do with subpoenas at Stratton Oakmont!
[he places the paper in a trash can, unzips his trousers and urinates into the trash can as the brokers cheer him on]
Donnie Azoff: F**k you, USA! f**k you! f**k you! f**k you! f**k you…
[the brokers chant along with him]


 

[as each broker is being interrogated by the SEC attorneys]
Jordan Belfort.
SEC Attorney #2: Alden. That’s a nice name.
Sea Otter: Thank you very much for that.
SEC Attorney #2: What kind a name is that?
Sea Otter: That is my name.
Toby Welch: I do not recall that. I do not recall that, okay?
SEC Attorney #2: Mr. Ming, uh, thank you for coming in today.
Chester Ming: You going to finish the rest of that danish? Can I have that danish?
SEC Attorney #2: No, no, go ahead…
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] They interrogated everybody.


 

[Chester grabs the Danish pastry]
Chester Ming: I got a low blood sugar, heart thing.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] It went on for months, it was a total f**king harassment. But not a single Strattonite cracked.
SEC Attorney #2: Gladys Carrera.
Jordan Belfort: Doesn’t ring a bell.
Robbie Feinberg: Sorry, I have no recommendation of that.
Toby Welch: No. No.
Peter DeBlasio: No idea.
Chester Ming: I don’t recall that transaction. Do you guys have any milk?
Jordan Belfort: Absolutely not.


 

SEC Attorney #2: Francis Ortiz you called so many times I just thought you might remember that.
[Chester grabs the plate of pastries from across the table]
Chester Ming: I don’t remember that.
SEC Attorney #2: Would you remember any of those?
Sea Otter: I do not recall any of that.
SEC Attorney #2: This Abdul, uh, Hakiki
Sea Otter: I do not re… No, I don’t recall. I do not recall.
[Chester continues to eat more Danish]


 

SEC Attorney #2: It was a long phone call, I just wondered if you any memory of that.
SEC Attorney #1: Okay, you know we’ve talked to several of the employees at this firm and nobody can recall anything about the Steve Madden IPO. It’s, I think it’s odd.
[Chester looks at them as he chews the Danish]
SEC Attorney #2: Do you recall Carnage Cooperation?
Chester Ming: Mmm.
Manny Riskin: You do recall it?
Chester Ming: No, I don’t recall that at all.
SEC Attorney #2: Excuse me, I have to ask, is that your real hair?
[to Manny]
Nicky Koskoff: Are you going to say anything about that?
[to the SEC attorneys]
Nicky Koskoff: Are you going to comment on my hair? Is that how we’re doing it?
SEC Attorney #2: I was just asking about it.
Nicky Koskoff: Is this personal questions? I thought
SEC Attorney #2: I was just wondering why you wearing something like that.
[as he’s got a mouth full of Danish]
Chester Ming: I’m sorry, I don’t recall that company.


 

[Jordan and Donnie or on Jordan’s yacht]
Hostess on The Naomi: Can I get you anything else, gentlemen?
Jordan Belfort: Yes. Sweetheart, I have rare condition which requires me to drink one of those every fifteen minutes, please.
[the hostess nods her heads and walks off]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] We were specifically advised not to leave the country, so we took our wives to Italy. We figured we were safer working from overseas, giving orders to Rugrat. Nobody could arrest us and nobody could prove I was still running Stratton from a yacht.
[they get a call from Nicky, Donnie answers the call as Jordan is snorting lines of coke]
Donnie Azoff: Hey, Rugrat. Bonjour, you bald-headed eagle. How you doing?
Nicky Koskoff: Donnie, Donnie, listen. We have a problem, okay? Your friend, Steve Madden, is unloading shares!
Donnie Azoff: What are you saying? Who told you that?
Jordan Belfort: What’s going on?
Nicky Koskoff: He’s doing it, Donnie!


 

[to Jordan]
Donnie Azoff: He said that Steve Madden is unloading shares.
[to Nicky]
Donnie Azoff: Who told you that? That’s bullsh*t.
Jordan Belfort: Give me that Goddamn phone.
[Jordan grabs the phone from Donnie]
Donnie Azoff: No, just listen to me. Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s f**king talking about.
Jordan Belfort: Ruggie, what’s going on?
Nicky Koskoff: Jordan, Jordan, look. I’m watching the screen and huge chunks of Steve Madden are being sold, okay? It’s not coming from us, so it’s got to be Steve. He’s the only person with that many shares.
[Jordan turns to Donnie who’s leaving a message for Steve]
Donnie Azoff: It’s Donnie, call me back, alright? Just give me a call. Okay, bye.
Jordan Belfort: Donnie, your little friend is trying f**k me, you know that? Your little friend trying to f**k me right now.
Donnie Azoff: We don’t know anything.
Jordan Belfort: Get him on the phone now!
Donnie Azoff: We don’t know anything yet, let’s not jump to conclusions.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Even though I owned eighty-five percent of Steve-c**k**king-Motherf**king-Madden- Shoes, the shares were in his f**king name. This motherf**ker knew I was in trouble with the feds and he was trying to take advantage.
Nicky Koskoff: Jordy, come on talk to me, man. How do you want to play this?
Jordan Belfort: Ruggie, I want you to get all our clients on the phone right now and have them start selling Steve Madden. We’re going to drive that f**king price down, do you hear me?
Donnie Azoff: Jordy…
Jordan Belfort: Shut the f**k up. This is your f**king friend from high school. If that little f**king prick thinks he’s going to f**k with me, I’m going to turn his entire company into a penny stock, you hear me? You got it?
Nicky Koskoff: Yes. Yes, I got it.
Donnie Azoff: Alright, let’s not start jumping to conclusions before we know what’s going on.
Jordan Belfort: Captain Ted! Captain Ted!
[back at Stratton, after snorting a couple lines of coke Nicky runs out of the office to instruction the brokers]
Nicky Koskoff: Hang up your phones! Everybody, hang up.
[back on the Jordan’s yacht, Jordan is yelling to the captain]
Jordan Belfort: Turn the boat around, we’re going home!


 

[as Jordan is preparing to leave he sees Naomi walking back with Hildy crying]
Jordan Belfort: Baby! Baby, what happened? Sweetheart, what’s going on?
Naomi Lapaglia: Aunt Emma. Just wait.
[she boards the yacht and makes her way to Jordan]
Naomi Lapaglia: I can’t…
Jordan Belfort: Baby, baby, baby. What is going on? Why are you crying?
Naomi Lapaglia: She’s dead.
Jordan Belfort: Who? Who’s dead?


 

Naomi Lapaglia: I just got a call from my cousin, Betty.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Aunt Emma is dead.
[Jordan looks distraught]
Jordan Belfort: Are you f**king kidding me?
Naomi Lapaglia: No.
Jordan Belfort: Are you serious?
[Naomi nods her head]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God! Baby, that’s… Oh, f**k!
[he kisses Emma and embraces her]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, sweetheart, that’s just f**king…
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] f**king heart attack. Boom, snap, gone. Shuffled off her mortal coil and twenty million dollars stuck in a Swiss bank account.
Naomi Lapaglia: When I talked to her she was fine. You know, she’s not that old.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, God, baby! Oh, God, that’s so f**king terrible. Oh, f**k.


 

[talking on the phone to Saurel]
Jean Jacques Saurel: It is terrible to you. Your aunt was such an elegant, attractive woman. My condolences to you and your family.
Jordan Belfort: Yes, yes. We’re absolutely devastated. Thank you, thank you so much for your condolences. Now where does that leave us in regard to her account exactly, does it going to probate or what?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Don’t worry Jordan, not to worry. Your aunt, before she died, signed a document naming you as her successor.
Jordan Belfort: She did?! Fantastic, well that’s good news.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Well, not as of yet.
Jordan Belfort: What does that mean, not as of yet?
[Saurel starts speaking in French]
Jordan Belfort: I can’t seem to hear you. I must have bad reception. Are you speaking English?
Jean Jacques Saurel: Now. Very, uh, now. Fast. Very fast.
Jordan Belfort: Fast? I have to get to Switzerland now?
[Saurel replies in French]


 

Jordan Belfort: Speak English! f**king speak English!
Jean Jacques Saurel: Oh, oh, oh! Hey, hey, hey! Quiet, okay?
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Take your suit, take your d**k, okay? And move your a**! Please.
Jordan Belfort: Okay.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Bouge ton cul!
Jordan Belfort: Move my a**! Yes!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I got to say, these Swiss were some sneaky motherf**kers. Within minutes he had me set up with a forger who could fake Aunt Emma’s signature.
[as Jordan ends their call]
Jean Jacques Saurel: You American sh*t!


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I just had to get there by tomorrow, or lose twenty million dollars.
[yelling to the captain]
Jordan Belfort: We’re going to Monaco!
Naomi Lapaglia: Monaco? Now?
Jordan Belfort: Yes, baby. We’re going to Monaco, so then we can go to Switzerland, okay?
Hildy Azoff: But her aunt just died.
Jordan Belfort: I realize that, but I have business in Switzerland. I need to go to Switzerland right now. Bottom line. Sorry.
Naomi Lapaglia: Baby, we got to get to London.
Jordan Belfort: Why? Why?
Naomi Lapaglia: The funeral!
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, but, babe, babe. Look, look.
[he goes over to Naomi and touches her face]
Jordan Belfort: I loved your aunt more than anyone in the entire world, I really did. But she’s dead now, sweetie. She’s dead and she’s not going anywhere. She’ll still be dead by the time we get to London, okay?


 

[the captain of the yacht walks onto the deck]
Jordan Belfort: Captain Ted! Captain Ted, alright, look. We’re going to Monaco. Monaco now, okay?
Captain Ted Beecham: Monaco, right.
Jordan Belfort: We’re going to Monaco so then we can drive to Switzerland so they don’t stamp our passports. Take care of business here. We’ll drive back to Monaco, take a flight over to London to catch the funeral, be in New York in three f**king business days! That’s the f**king plan.
Captain Ted Beecham: I just want to let you know that we might run into some chop.
Jordan Belfort: Chop? We can f**king handle chop, right? I mean, it’s a hundred and seventy foot yacht.
Hildy Azoff: No, no, no. We’re not going anywhere unless he says it’s safe, alright?
Jordan Belfort: It’s safe.
Donnie Azoff: Don’t worry about the chop.
Jordan Belfort: It’s safe.
Donnie Azoff: You don’t know sh*t about chop.
Hildy Azoff: Oh, really? And you do? You’re a f**king expert on it.
Donnie Azoff: I’ll chop your f**king credit card in half. How about that?
Hildy Azoff: I’d like to see you try.
Jordan Belfort: Chop is fine. Trust me. Chop is fine.


 

[looking at the captain]
Jordan Belfort: Is chop fine, Captain Ted?
Captain Ted Beecham: Well, yeah. I mean, if we, if we take it slow.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, we’re going to take it slow. It’s a little uncomfortable. Tell them it’s safe. It’s going to be safe.
Captain Ted Beecham: It’s going to be safe because we’ll batten down the hatches and secure the deck. And, uh, we’re looking at a few, maybe a few broken dishes.
Jordan Belfort: Few broken dishes. What’s a few broken dishes? Does that sound f**king awesome or what?
Hildy Azoff: No, not really.
Jordan Belfort: We’re going to have a f**king good time! Let’s go to f**king Monaco now! Huh?
Captain Ted Beecham: Let’s go. Alright.
[slapping the captain’s butt as he rushes down below to get them going]
Jordan Belfort: Let’s f**king move! Let’s go!


 

[that night the yacht is caught in the middle of a storm]
Captain Ted Beecham: Hold on!
[Jordon enters the bridge]
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k is going on out here? The jet skis just went overboard!
[walking over to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, Jesus Christ! Honey, you okay?
Radio Voice: Gale warning! Gale warning!
Captain Ted Beecham: The waves are twenty feet high and building!
Jordan Belfort: Turn around, let’s go the other f**king way!
Captain Ted Beecham: We can’t!
Jordan Belfort: Go!
Captain Ted Beecham: We’ll get broad-sided and tip over!
Jordan Belfort: I am a master diver. You hear that? I’m a master diver! No one’s going to f**king die!
[as he holds on to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: I got you, baby. I got you. Trust me, okay? I love you.
[he kisses her]
Jordan Belfort: I love you, baby. Just hold on tight.
Naomi Lapaglia: Okay.


 

[turning to look at Donnie who is near to tears from the fear of the storm]
Jordan Belfort: Donnie!
[to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: Hold on, baby!
[looks at Donnie again]
Jordan Belfort: Donnie!
[Donnie doesn’t respond and Jordan kicks his leg]
Jordan Belfort: Donnie!
Donnie Azoff: What?
[to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: Hold on, baby.


 

[turns to Donnie and says quietly]
Jordan Belfort: Get the f**king ludes.
Donnie Azoff: I don’t want to die, Jordan! I did a lot of bad sh*t. I’m going to hell, Jordan! I f**ked up! I f**ked up so bad!
Jordan Belfort: [quietly] Get the ludes. Downstairs.
Donnie Azoff: What are you saying?
Jordan Belfort: F**k!
[Jordan turns and moves over to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: Get the ludes!
Donnie Azoff: I can’t go down there, Jordan. It’s flooded! It’s three feet of water down there!
Jordan Belfort: I will not die sober! Get those f**king ludes!
Donnie Azoff: Okay!
Jordan Belfort: Go!
Donnie Azoff: Okay.


 

[as Donnie goes to leave to get the ludes]
Naomi Lapaglia: Where’s he going?
Jordan Belfort: Hold on, baby!
Naomi Lapaglia: Donnie! Is he f**king crazy?
Jordan Belfort: No, baby. I just…
[Donnie goes below deck and gets the ludes; up in the bridge as he looks at the giant wave]
Captain Ted Beecham: Jesus Christ! Hold on! Get away from the window!
[shouting into the radio]
Captain Ted Beecham: Rogue wave! Mayday! This is Captain Ted Beecham aboard the yacht Naomi! We are going down!
[just then Donnie makes it up to the bridge]
Donnie Azoff: I got them! I got them!
Jordan Belfort: Good man! Just give me one!
Naomi Lapaglia: What, are you f**king doing?
Jordan Belfort: For the nerves!


 

[shouting into the radio]
Captain Ted Beecham: This is a f**king Mayday! We require immediate assistance!
[suddenly their yacht hits the giant wave and it topped over after which they get rescued]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
[Naomi and Hildy are dancing below the deck with the Italian sailors cheering them on, Jordan watches them dance then glances out the window when he suddenly sees a flying plane explode in the air]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Did you see that? That was the plane I sent to come get us. I sh*t you not, it exploded when a seagull flew into the engine, three people killed. You want a sign from God? Well, after all this, I finally got the message.


 

[we see Jordan on an infomercial advertising his moneymaking seminar “Straight Line”]
Jordan Belfort: Do you dream of becoming financially independent but struggle every month just to pay your bills? Would you like to own a home like this, but can barely afford to pay your rent? My name is Jordan Belfort, and there is no secret to wealth creation. No matter who you are, no matter where you came from, you too can become financially independent in just a matter of months. All you need is a strategy.


 

[Jordan is on a yacht talking into the camera]
Jordan Belfort: When I was twenty-four years old I made a decision, not just to survive, but to thrive.
Straight Line Testimonial #1: At first I didn’t feel like deals like these were possible. But we have the house and we have a thirty-three thousand dollar profit. I certainly believe now.
Straight Line Testimonial #2: Think about it for a second. If you don’t have the guts to attend Jordan Belfort’s Straight Line Persuasion System seminar, then how do you expect
to make any money?
Jordan Belfort: If you want to be a millionaire someday, have some guts, make a decision.
Straight Line Testimonial #3: Jordan Belfort’s set up work for me because I worked hard for it. And if it doesn’t work for you, it’s because you’re lazy and you should get a job at McDonald’s.
Jordan Belfort: There’s nobody holding you back from financial freedom. And there’s nobody stopping you from making millions. Don’t just sit at home, or the life of your dreams will sail right past you.


 

[as the infomercial carries on we see Jordan getting out of a helicopter]
Jordan Belfort: I changed all these people’s lives and I can change yours too! So come to my seminar! The life of your dreams is only…
[during filming suddenly Denham and other FBI agents arrive]
Agent Patrick Denham: Good to see you again, Jordan. You’re under arrest!
Jordan Belfort: You got to be, you got to be joking!
[suddenly Jordan makes a run for it and the agents run after him, Jordan stops realizing he has nowhere to run]
Jordan Belfort: You’re kidding me! Hey, get the f**k away from me!
Agent Patrick Denham: Turn that camera off.
[as he gets handcuffed by two agents]
Jordan Belfort: I’m f**king shooting a f**king infomercial here, you f**king c**ks**ker! f**k you, you motherf**ker!


 

[Denham runs towards the camera putting his hand up against it]
Jordan Belfort: Shut the f**king camera off.
[the camera is dropped to the ground but it carries on filming as Jordan gets pulled away]
Jordan Belfort: You don’t got sh*t on me, you hear me! Go f**k yourself! I’m making an honest living, you f**king piece of sh*t!
Agent Patrick Denham: Hey, Jordan, let me give you a little legal advice. Shut the f**k up!
Jordan Belfort: Oh, f**k you, you f**king prick! I’m making an honest living, you motherf**ker!


 

[we see Jordan getting a mug shot]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I clean up my act, I did rehab, I’m a TV personality. I’m sober for two years, and this happens! Rugrat goes and gets busted down in Miami.
we see Saurel being arrested and being taken away by two FBI agents
Jean Jacques Saurel: I’m Swiss, I’m not communist.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] And guess who the f**k with? Saurel.
Jean Jacques Saurel: You going to beat me?
FBI Agent #1: No, sir.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah, I know your country. You’re going to beat me.
FBI Agent #1: No, sir. We don’t beat people.
Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah.


 

Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I mean, what are the f**king odds? There had to be ten thousand Swiss bankers in Geneva, and Rugrat gets the one dumb enough to get himself arrested on U.S. soil.
[Nicky begins to cry as he gets arrested by the FBI]
FBI Agent #2: I know.
Nicky Koskoff: I’m so sorry.
[Nicky weeps as gets taken away, then we see Saurel having his mug shot taken]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Even more f**ked was that he got busted for sh*t that had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to f**king do with me. Something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana. Benihana. Beni-f**king-hana! Beni-f**king-hana! Why? Why? Why, God? Why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of f**king Hibachi restaurants to take me down?!


 

[we see Saurel lying in bed smoking]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Long story short, Saurel rats me out. But not before he rats out Brad’s wife, Chantalle, who, it turns out, he’d been f**king every time she went to Switzerland.
[Chantalle enters the room naked and gets on the bed]
Chantalle: Oui, oui.
Jean Jacques Saurel: No, no, no, it’s impossible.
Chantalle: Oui, oui.
[he pauses and looks at her]
Jean Jacques Saurel: Alright!
[he grabs Chantalle down to the bed and they get under the covers; Jordan stands next to his attorney in court as the judge reads through the subpoena]
Honorary Samantha Stogel: One count engaging in conspiracy to commit securities fraud. Two counts securities fraud. One count engaging in conspiracy to commit money laundering. Twenty-one counts money laundering. One count obstruction of justice.
[looking at Jordan and his attorney]
Honorary Samantha Stogel: Bail is set at ten million dollars.
[she bangs the gavel and Jordan looks at her in disbelief]


 

[Donnie visits Jordan at his house]
Donnie Azoff: Uncle Donnie’s here!
[going up to Naomi’s dog]
Donnie Azoff: Rocky. How you doing? Woof.
[walking up to Jordan who’s sat by the pool drinking beer]
Donnie Azoff: I hate that f**king dog.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, he’s getting old and decrepit. Starting to sh*t in the house again.
Donnie Azoff: Me too.
[they embrace]


 

Jordan Belfort: Come here, buddy.
Donnie Azoff: Ah, f**k.
Jordan Belfort: It’s good to see you, pal.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, you too.
Jordan Belfort: Good to see you. Sit down. Oh, man.
Donnie Azoff: How you doing, brother?
Jordan Belfort: You know, sh*tty, pal. But I’m hanging in there. My new piece of jewelry, check that out.
[he shows Donnie the electronic bracelet around his ankle]
Jordan Belfort: I can’t leave the house. You know? Starting to get cabin fever already.
Donnie Azoff: F**king Rugrat. That wig-wearing faggot. I can’t believe that f**king guy, I want to kill him.
Jordan Belfort: I swear to God, I want to choke him to death. Irresponsible little prick.
Donnie Azoff: I’ll tell you one thing, I’m never eating at Benihana again. I don’t care whose birthday it is.


 

Donnie Azoff: Where’s Naomi? How’s she doing?
Jordan Belfort: That’s her in the house there. You could say hi, she probably won’t wave back.
Donnie Azoff: Naomi, sweetheart!
[Donnie waves to Naomi and she gives him the finger before going into the house]
Donnie Azoff: What’s up her a**? Is she mad at me?
Jordan Belfort: No, you know. We probably have to mortgage the house in order to make bail. Probably end up selling the thing in order to pay for all the lawyers. It’s been a nightmare, buddy, to tell you the truth. What are you going to do, right? Anyway, how’s Stratton? That’s more important. How’s morale? They all pi**ed off because they have to make money legally now?
Donnie Azoff: Jordan?
Jordan Belfort: Mm.
Donnie Azoff: I got the founding partners together. I talked to them about everything, and I got you.
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, you got me?
Donnie Azoff: The house, money, don’t worry about it. I got you.
[Jordan embraces Donnie]


 

Donnie Azoff: Alright.
Jordan Belfort: I love you, buddy. You know I’d do it for you, right?
Donnie Azoff: I know.
Jordan Belfort: You know that, right?
Donnie Azoff: I know.
[Jordan kisses Donnie’s cheek]
Jordan Belfort: I could f**king kiss you all over.
Donnie Azoff: Alright, alright. Enough, enough.
[they both laugh]


 

Jordan Belfort: You want a beer, pal?
Donnie Azoff: What are you drinking?
Jordan Belfort: I got this non-alcoholic sh*t.
Donnie Azoff: What’s that?
Jordan Belfort: Like a non-alcoholic beer, it’s got no alcohol.
Donnie Azoff: It’s a beer?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, with no alcohol.
Donnie Azoff: But if you drink enough, if you drink a lot, they get you f**ked up?
Jordan Belfort: No, there’s no alcohol. That’s the f**king point.
Donnie Azoff: I’m no scientist, I don’t know what the f**k you’re talking about. I can get you a beer if you want a f**king beer.
Jordan Belfort: I know, but I don’t drink. You remember? I don’t drink anymore.
Donnie Azoff: Well you want to go inside and blow some lines of baking powder? Baking soda?
[Jordan laughs]


 

Donnie Azoff: Can’t imagine ever not enjoying getting f**ked up.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: I love it. But how’s being sober?
Jordan Belfort: F**king sucks.
Donnie Azoff: Boring, right?
Jordan Belfort: So boring, I want to kill myself.


 

[Jordan and his attorney meet with Denham and two U.S. Attorneys]
Lucas Solomon: There’s a term, and we don’t like to use it unless circumstances dictate, and I think they do dictate in this case, and the term is “Grenada.” Have you ever heard of Grenada?
Jordan Belfort: No. No, I haven’t.
Lucas Solomon: Grenada’s very interesting because it is a small island nation that was invaded by the United States of America in 1983, it has about ninety thousand people. And essentially, it means is this case is unlosable. Okay? So, you know, we can come in, we can have our d**k hanging out of our pants. Nobody gives a f**k. I’m going to win. You, sir, are what’s known as a Grenada.
Jordan Belfort: Hm.
Rochelle Applebaum: You’re looking at real prison time.
Jordan Belfort: Hm.
Rochelle Applebaum: Money laundering can get you as much as twenty years. And our case couldn’t be stronger if we caught you shoving cash in your mattress.
Jordan Belfort: Is that right?


 

Agent Patrick Denham: Hey, Jordan. Jordan?
[Jordan looks at Denham]
Agent Patrick Denham: You’re rotting away in jail till your kids get out of college. That’s not our ambition here. There’s other people involved in this too. We think they need to see their day in court as well.
Nolan Drager: Why do I sense there’s an offer in the air?
Lucas Solomon: Look at him, he’s got a sense.
Rochelle Applebaum: Hm.
Lucas Solomon: What are you, Kreskin? Full cooperation. He provides us with a comprehensive list of all the co-conspirators spanning in the last seven years, and he also agrees to wear a wire.
Jordan Belfort: Wait. Did you just say “wear a wire”?
Lucas Solomon: A wire. Mm-hmm.
Jordan Belfort: What does that mean? You want me to rat? Is that it?
Lucas Solomon: No, I want you to cooperate.
Jordan Belfort: No, you want me to rat, right?
Agent Patrick Denham: Yes, we want you to rat. That’s f**king exactly what we want you to do, to rat.


 

[in their bedroom as Naomi is getting undressed]
Jordan Belfort: How was Christy’s party?
Naomi Lapaglia: Fine.
Jordan Belfort: Good. Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today. I have some really, really great news.
Naomi Lapaglia: Mm-hmm.
Jordan Belfort: Turns out you’re completely off the hook, honey.
Naomi Lapaglia: I know that already.
Jordan Belfort: Right, exactly. Exactly. You never did anything wrong in the first place, right? It turns out all the FBI really wants from me is to, uh, to cooperate. You know? Turns out I have so much information about the stock market and Wall Street I could save the government years of heartache, not to mention countless dollars.
Naomi Lapaglia: Mm-hmm.
[he moves closer to Naomi]
Jordan Belfort: But it gets even better, babe. Because if I do decide to cooperate, I might only be looking at four short years, In which case, you know, we could, we could start fresh, maybe sell the house. And any fines that I’d have to pay wouldn’t be due till after I serve my term, so we’d still have plenty of money left over, you know?
Naomi Lapaglia: Mm-hmm.


 

Jordan Belfort: The only thing that of course bummed me out a little bit is this whole idea of having to give information about my friends.
Naomi Lapaglia: Well, like you said, “There’s no friends on Wall Street.” Right?
Jordan Belfort: Right. Right. Exactly. There’s a silver lining to that too, honey. Because they said eventually everyone’s going to have to give information on this case. So, at the end of the day, it might not even be a factor. You know?
Naomi Lapaglia: Well, that’s good news. Right?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah.
Naomi Lapaglia: I’m really happy for you.
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, happy for me, sweetheart? You should be happy for the both of us. Right?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah, right.
Jordan Belfort: Alright. Come here, baby.
[he pulls her close and kisses her]


 

Jordan Belfort: Give me a kiss, sweetheart.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan…
Jordan Belfort: Oh, come on, baby. I haven’t made love to you in so long.
Naomi Lapaglia: No.
Jordan Belfort: Please.
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, stop it.
Jordan Belfort: Come on, honey, please.
Naomi Lapaglia: No! Jordan, stop it!


 

[Jordan is on top of Naomi having sex with Naomi who clearly does not want to]
Jordan Belfort: I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you.
Naomi Lapaglia: I f**king hate you, Jordan. Get off me!
Jordan Belfort: Baby, don’t do that. You know how much I love you, right? Stop that, sweetie. Please.
Naomi Lapaglia: You want to f**k me, Jordan? You want to f**k me? Good. Go ahead. Go ahead and f**k me. I want you to f**k me real hard. I want you to f**k me like it’s the last f**king time.
Jordan Belfort: Why are you moving like that?
Naomi Lapaglia: Come on, baby.
Jordan Belfort: Please hold still.
Naomi Lapaglia: Because I want you to come for me, baby. Come on, babe.
[she kisses him]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Come for me, baby. I want you to come for me like it’s the last f**king time.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. Come on, baby. Come for me. Come for me, baby. Come on, baby.
[Jordan starts moving on top of her again]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah, baby, come.
Jordan Belfort: You want me to come for you?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
[he starts moving faster on top of her and kisses her]


 

Jordan Belfort: You want me to come for you?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah!
Jordan Belfort: Huh? You want me to come for you? Oh, God, baby. Yeah!
[as he begins to climax on top of her]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh! Oh, God! Jesus.
[he laughs as he finishes climaxing and rolls off of her]
Jordan Belfort: Oh, baby. That was so f**king great! Oh, God!


 

[after Jordan finishes having sex with Naomi he puts on arm across her body]
Naomi Lapaglia: That was the last time.
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, baby?
Naomi Lapaglia: I mean that was the last time we ever have sex. I…
Jordan Belfort: What are you talking about?
Naomi Lapaglia: I want a divorce.
[she goes to get up but Jordan pulls her back down onto the bed]
Jordan Belfort: What do you mean, you want a divorce? What is that supposed to mean, you want a divorce?
Naomi Lapaglia: Get off me! I want a divorce. Get off.
[she pushes his hand away and gets off the bed]


 

Jordan Belfort: You just made love to me. What the f**k is wrong with you?
Naomi Lapaglia: I don’t love you anymore, Jordan!
Jordan Belfort: Oh, you don’t, you don’t love me? You don’t love me anymore, huh? Well, isn’t that just f**king convenient for you. Now that I’m under federal indictment, with an electronic bracelet around my ankle, now you decide you don’t f**king love me anymore.
Naomi Lapaglia: No!
Jordan Belfort: Is that right?
Naomi Lapaglia: No!
Jordan Belfort: What kind of person are you? Tell me.
Naomi Lapaglia: You married me!
Jordan Belfort: What the f**k is that supposed to mean?
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, this is how it’s going to go. I’m going to take custody of the kids. If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation. Okay? Don’t try to fight it.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, my God.
Naomi Lapaglia: It’ll save us both a lot of money and I got a feeling you’re going to need it.


 

Jordan Belfort: You’re not taking my kids, sweetheart. You hear me?
Naomi Lapaglia: I’ve already talked to the lawyer. He said even if you don’t get convicted, I’ve got a good chance of getting them.
Jordan Belfort: I got news for you. You’re not f**king taking my children, you vicious f**king c**t!
Naomi Lapaglia: Yes, I am, Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: You hear…
[suddenly Naomi slaps Jordan hard in the face and Jordan hits her back just as hard]
Jordan Belfort: F**k you, you f**king b**ch!
[he then storms away from her and out of the room]


 

Jordan Belfort: You’re not f**king taking my Goddamn f**king kids! You hear me? f**k you! You’re not f**king taking my f**king kids!
[Jordan goes into the next room, grabs a pair of scissors and slashes the couch]
Jordan Belfort: F**king b**ch!
[he retrieves a bag of coke from inside the couch’s lining]
Jordan Belfort: F**king whore!
[he pours some coke onto the table]
Jordan Belfort: F**king b**ch, piece of sh*t f**king whore!
[as he starts snorting the coke Naomi walks into the room]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Look at yourself, Jordan. Sick! You’re a sick man!
Jordan Belfort: F**k you! I told you, you’re not taking my f**king kids, you f**king…
Naomi Lapaglia: You think I would let my kids near you? Look at yourself! You know what my lawyer said? My lawyer said that you’re going to prison for twenty years, Jordan. Twenty f**king years! You’re never going to see the kids again!
Jordan Belfort: You don’t think I’m not going to see my…
Naomi Lapaglia: No, I’m not f**king letting you near my kids!
Jordan Belfort: You don’t think I’m going to see my f**king kids again, huh?
[Jordan walks out of the room and Naomi grabs his arm]
Naomi Lapaglia: Don’t you f**king touch them!
[suddenly Jordan punches her in the stomach]
Jordan Belfort: Don’t you f**king touch me!


 

[Jordan goes into Skylar’s room and picks her up from her bed]
Jordan Belfort: Sweetheart? You’re coming on a trip with Daddy, alright?
[he carries her out of the room]
Jordan Belfort: You’re coming on a trip with Daddy.
[Jordan reaches the staircase]
Naomi Lapaglia: Don’t you f**king touch her, Jordan. I swear to God, I will f**king kill you!
[Jordan quickly goes down the stairs with Skylar in his arms and goes into the garage]
Jordan Belfort: It’s alright, baby. You and Daddy are going to go on a little trip together, okay?
[he locks the garage door and walks towards one of the cars]
Jordan Belfort: A little trip together. It’s going to be good.
[Naomi can be heard yelling outside]


 

Naomi Lapaglia: Violet! Violet! Get the key! Get the key!
Violet: I got it!
[Jordan opens the car door and places Skylar in the front seat]
Jordan Belfort: Get in the car, sweetheart. There you go, put your seatbelt on for Daddy. Okay?
Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan, you open this f**king door right now! Open the door!
[Jordan helps Skylar put her seatbelt on]
Jordan Belfort: Put your seat belt on. There you go, sweetheart. There you go. Get your legs in.
[he closes the car door]


 

[Jordan goes towards the garage door and yells]
Jordan Belfort: I’m taking her with me! I told you I’m taking her with me, you f**king b**ch!
[he presses the garage door button and goes to get into the car]
Jordan Belfort: You’re not going to stop me! You’re not going to stop me!
[he gets into the driver’s seat]
Jordan Belfort: We’re going on a little trip, honey. Alright?
[just then Naomi and Violet open the garage door and rush towards Jordan]
Naomi Lapaglia: No! No!
[Naomi tries to open the passenger door where Skylar is sat]


 

Jordan Belfort: Get the hell out of here!
Violet: Leave that baby alone!
Naomi Lapaglia: Violet! Garage door! Close it!
Skylar Belfort: Mommy!
[Naomi rushes over to Jordan’s side and tries to open the door]
Jordan Belfort: Get out of here!
Naomi Lapaglia: Open the f**king door!
Skylar Belfort: Mommy!
[as Jordan goes to reverse he sees that Violet has pressed the button and the garage door is closing, at the same time Naomi grabs a crowbar and smashes the driver’s side window]
Violet: No!
[Jordan quickly reverses the car and smashes through the half closed garage door and smashes into a concrete pillar]


 

[as they watch Jordan crash the car into the pillar]
Violet: Oh, Lord! Oh, my heavens. Get the baby!
[Naomi starts running towards the car]
Violet: Naomi, get the baby! Get the baby!
Skylar Belfort: Mommy.
Naomi Lapaglia: Honey, it’s okay. It’s okay.
Skylar Belfort: Mommy. Mommy.


 

[Naomi gets Skylar out of the car]
Naomi Lapaglia: It’s going to be okay.
Violet: Oh, Mr. Jordan has lost his mind.
Jordan Belfort: Baby…
[Naomi holds Skylar in her arms]
Naomi Lapaglia: It’s alright, honey. It’s alright, baby.
Violet: She alright? Is she alright?
[to Jordan]
Violet: What’s the matter with you?
[Jordan watches them walk away with Skylar in Naomi’s arms]
Violet: Is she alright? Is she alright?
[blood starts pouring down Jordan’s forehead]


 

Lucas Solomon: Paragraph one. The defendant shall plead guilty to all counts of the indictment currently pending against him in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of New York.
Lucas Solomon: Paragraph two.
[we see Denham sticking a microphone onto Jordon’s chest beneath his shirt]
Agent Patrick Denham: Talk normally.
Lucas Solomon: The defendant shall participate in undercover activities…
[to Jordan]
Agent Patrick Denham: And breathe normally.
Lucas Solomon: …including wearing a recording device, also known as a wire…
[to Jordon]
Agent Patrick Denham: After five minutes, you’ll forget you even have it on.
Lucas Solomon: …in conjunction with the investigation of securities fraud.
Jordan Belfort: F**king brutal.
Agent Patrick Denham: Quit your b**ching.


 

[we see in a conference room as Solomon reads from their contract]
Lucas Solomon: Paragraph four. The defendant must not commit, or attempt to commit, any further crimes.
Jordan Belfort: Please. Let me just sign the f**king thing already. Thank you.
[Jordan takes the contract]
Jordan Belfort: Just here?
Lucas Solomon: That’d be good.
[Jordan signs the contract and hands it back to Solomon]
Lucas Solomon: Thank you.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] There wasn’t even a choice. For the next six hours, I came up with a list. Friends, enemies, business associates. Anybody who’d ever known me or taken so much as a stock tip.


 

[Jordan walks into Stratton Oakmont offices and the brokers start cheering for him]
Brokers: Wolfie! Wolfie! Wolfie! Wolfie!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] The first name on the list was Donnie.
[Jordan and Donnie are sat in his office eating sushi]
Donnie Azoff: Jordan, do you know how good it is to have you back in this office? It’s not the same when you’re gone. It’s sad, you understand? It’s like…
Jordan Belfort: That f**king Steve Madden, huh?
Donnie Azoff: I can’t…
Jordan Belfort: Swear to God, I can’t even think about it. You know? Every time I think about him, my blood boils.
Donnie Azoff: I can’t even say his name.
Jordan Belfort: I know.
Donnie Azoff: You know, it’s, like, disgusting. I grew up with this guy.
Jordan Belfort: I know.
Donnie Azoff: And he betrays me like that.
Jordan Belfort: Did he ever get back to you about that, um…


 

[Jordan slides over a napkin across to Donnie]
Jordan Belfort: About that, uh, that account?
[Jordan lifts the napkin off to reveal a note he’s written saying “Don’t incriminate yourself. I’m wearing a wire”]
Jordan Belfort: You know, you remember. It was like four or five mil, something like that, right? He was supposed to take back four or five mil, was it?
[after reading the note Donnie is silent for a moment before replying]
Donnie Azoff: Actually, I was f**ked up, Jordan, you know? So I don’t remember.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah. Yeah, right. Stupid. Well, you know, if he calls you, you make sure and contact me, okay?
Donnie Azoff: F**k, yeah. Of course.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.
Donnie Azoff: Of course, yeah. No, of course.
[they stare at each other for a moment]


 

Jordan Belfort: You going to eat that last piece of yellowtail, bud?
Donnie Azoff: Uh, it’s all, it’s all yours.
Jordan Belfort: Can I get this?
[Jordan grabs the fish from Donnie’s plate and eats it]
Donnie Azoff: So, what else is, uh…
[Donnie takes a napkin and covers Jordan’s note with it]
Donnie Azoff: Well, how’s Naomi and everything?
Jordan Belfort: You know. You know how it is. She hates my f**king guts. How’s Hildy? Good?
Donnie Azoff: She’s still alive, so my life is f**ked, you know?
Jordan Belfort: Yeah.


 

[Jordan is asleep in his bed when Violet knocks on the door and enters the room]
Violet: Mr. Jordan.
Jordan Belfort: Mm?
Violet: Mr. Jordan, you got a visitor.
Jordan Belfort: What?
Violet: You’ve got a visitor.
[Jordan reluctantly gets up, he walks out into the hallway and sees Denham and two other FBI agents waiting for him downstairs]


 

Agent Patrick Denham: I need you to get dressed.
Jordan Belfort: Why? What the f**k’s going on?
[Denham holds up the note Jordan had written to Donnie]
Agent Patrick Denham: You’re going to jail.
[Jordan looks defeated]
Jordan Belfort: Alright. I’ll get some clothes on.
Agent Patrick Denham: We’ll give you a hand with that.
[the two other agents walk upstairs and come over to Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: Okay.


 

[Denham and his agents enters Stratton Oakmont offices]
Agent Patrick Denham: FBl! Everybody sit down. Put your hands where they can be seen, and shut up!
Robbie Feinberg: Don’t you f**king touch me.
[one of the agents grabs him]
Robbie Feinberg: Get your f**king hands off me!
Agent Patrick Denham: Don’t get out of your seats!
[the agents start grabbing some of the brokers including Kimmie]
Kimmie Belzer: It’s f**king Chanel!
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I gave up everyone, and in return, I got three years in some hellhole in Nevada I’d never even heard of. Like my Pops, Mad Max, had said, “The chickens had come home to roost.” Whatever the f**k that means.


 

[we see Jordan being sentenced]
Nolan Drager: I hope Your Honor would agree that Mr. Belfort has distinguished himself in terms of his cooperation. Mr. Belfort has helped the government win convictions of over two dozen serious offenders and helped them recover millions of dollars to be made available for restitution to their victims.
Honorary Raymond Samitz: The sentence of the court shall be 36 months in federal prison. Please remand the defendant.
[Jordan is handcuffed by the guards]
Nolan Drager: I’m sorry.
[he hugs Jordan]
Jordan Belfort: That’s okay.
[as Jordan is being led away by the guards he looks at his parents and smiles, his mother cries while Max looks away in disappointment, then we see Denham reading the article of Jordan being sentenced as he sits on the subway, he looks around him realizing he’s exactly where Jordan said he’d be]


 

[as he’s been driven to prison]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] I’m not ashamed to admit it, when we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified.
Guard: Belfort, on your feet.
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] But I needn’t have been. You see, for a brief fleeting moment, I’d forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale.
[we see Jordan playing tennis with the other prison inmates]
Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Wouldn’t you like to learn how to sell it?
[we see a Straight Line seminar being held in Auckland, New Zealand where the host is played by the real Jordan Belfort]
Auckland Straight Line Host: So listen, I’ve met some bad motherf**kers in my life. I’m talking about rock stars, professional athletes, gangsters. I’m telling you, some real bad motherf**kers. But this guy, my good friend, Mr. Jordan Belfort, is the single baddest motherf**ker I have ever met. So I want you right now to give a warm Auckland, New Zealand welcome for my good friend and the world’s greatest sales trainer, Mr. Jordan Belfort!


 

[last lines; the audience claps and Jordan walks onto the stage]
Jordan Belfort: Thank you.
[Jordan looks at the audience, then steps down and goes over to a man sitting in the front row, he takes out a pen and offers it to him]
Jordan Belfort: Sell me this pen.
[the man takes the pen and begins awkwardly]
Audience Member #1: It’s, uh, it’s an amazing pen. It’s for professionals, it’s a…
[Jordan takes the pen from him and offers it to the man in the next seat]
Jordan Belfort: Sell me this pen.
Audience Member #2: Well, it’s a nice pen. You can use the pen to write down thoughts from your life so you can…
[Jordan takes the pen from him and offers it to another audience member]
Jordan Belfort: Sell me this pen.
Audience Member #3: Well, this pen works and I personally love this pen and I think this pen…
[we see all the audience members watch with eagerness]

 


Total Quotes: 293

 

Filed Under: Movie Quotes

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