Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Keegan-Michael Key, Rowan Atkinson, Sally Hawkins, Olivia Colman, Jim Carter, Matt Lucas, Hugh Grant
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
Story: Fantasy adventure directed and co-written by Paul King. Based on Roald Dahl’s character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Wonka (2023) focuses on young Willy Wonka (Timothée Chalamet), who is chock-full of ideas and determined to change the world one delectable bite at a time, proving that the best things in life begin with a dream, and if you’re lucky enough to meet Willy Wonka, anything is possible.
Where to Watch:
Top Sweet Wonka Quotes
Willy Wonka: [singing] I’ve got twelve silver sovereigns in my pocket and a hatful of dreams.
Willy Wonka: [singing] It’s everything you said, Mamma. And, oh, so much more. Each way that you turn, another famous chocolate store. Here’s my destiny. I just need to unlock it. Will I crash and burn, or go up like a rocket? I got nothing to offer but my chocolate and a hatful of dreams.
Willy Wonka: [singing] In this city, anyone can be successful if they have talent, and work hard, or so they say. But they didn’t mention it would be so stressful just to make a dozen silver sovereigns last more than a day.
Bleacher: You’re not planning on sleeping there, are you, son?
Willy Wonka: Oh, it’s just for a night. By this time tomorrow, I plan to have made my fortune.
Bleacher: By this time tomorrow, you’ll be frozen solid.
Willy Wonka: You see, I’m something of a magician, inventor, and chocolate maker. And first thing tomorrow at the Galeries Gourmet, I plan to unveil my most astonishing creation yet. Prepare to be amazed as I present to you…
Mrs. Scrubitt: A teapot?
Willy Wonka: Here we go, Mamma. Ladies and gentlemen of the Galeries Gourmet, my name is Willy Wonka, and I have come to show you a marvelous morsel, an incredible edible, an unbeatable eatable, the likes of which this world has never seen. So quiet up and listen down. No, scratch that, reverse it. I give to you the Hoverchoc.
Willy Wonka: That is quite a handshake.
Slugworth: It’s a business handshake, Mr. Wonka. Lets people know I mean business.
Slugworth: Well, Mr. Wonka, I’ve been in this business a very long time, and I can safely say, that of all the chocolate I have ever tasted, this is without doubt the absolute one hundred percent worst.
Willy Wonka: Woo-hoo! There we have it, ladies and gentlemen. An endorsement from Mr. S… Wait. The worst?
Willy Wonka: If you thought the chocolate was weird, you’re going to hate what happens next.
Slugworth: You’re off your rocker, Wonka! Who in their right mind wants a chocolate that makes you fly?
Willy Wonka: Well, let’s find out, shall we? Who’s for a Hoverchoc?
Chief of Police: Alright, folks. Nothing to see here. Just a small group of people defying the laws of gravity.
Mrs. Scrubitt: [to Wonka] You warmed your cockles by the fire.
Bleacher: He did indeed, Mrs. Scrubitt.
Mrs. Scrubitt: Cockle-warming is extra, see?
Mrs. Scrubitt: Even Bleacher knows you never touch the mini bar, and he was raised in a ditch.
Piper Benz: One moment of stupidity, followed by endless regret.
Larry Chucklesworth: Sounds like my third marriage.
Willy Wonka: For everything else, I’ve relied on the kindness of strangers.
Noodle: And look where that’s got you. The staff quarters.
Noodle: The water comes in two temperatures. Cold and colder.
Noodle: The greedy beat the needy every time, Mr. Wonka. Guess it’s just the way of the world.
Willy Wonka: I’m making chocolate, of course. How do you like it? Dark? White? Nutty? Absolutely insane?
Willy’s Mother: Every good thing in this world started with a dream. So you hold on to yours. And when you do share your chocolate with the world, I’ll be right there beside you.
Noodle: [after eating chocolate for the first time] Now each day I don’t have chocolate will be a little harder.
Fickelgruber: Oh, dear. I’ve just been a little bit sick in my mouth. Could you please refrain from mentioning that demographic in my presence?
Prodnose: He doesn’t like it when people say “poor”.
Prodnose: I’m just making sure we’re all on the same page.
Fickelgruber: Well, no one’s on your page.
Prodnose: What’s that supposed to mean? Well, I know what it means. Actually, what does it mean?
Mrs. Scrubitt: Bleacher! Toilet’s blocked again!
Willy Wonka: Oh, wow. The unmistakable sound of love.
Willy Wonka: You just need to tidy yourself up a little. Get some new clothes. Have a bath.
Bleacher: A bath?
Willy Wonka: If you want to make her sigh…
Bleacher: Tell me.
Willy Wonka: Show her some thigh.
Willy Wonka: Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you a brand new contraption of my creation. An innovation in laundrification.
Willy Wonka: But now, with Willy Wonka’s Wild and Wonderful Wishy-washy Wonka Walker, please don’t make me say that again, Tiddles gets to run, and I can have fun.
Willy Wonka: There’s nothing stupid about my chocolate.
Willy Wonka: It’s called A Big Night Out. A single chocolate that perfectly mimics a night on the town.
Willy Wonka: “Nearly” is the key word there, Noodle. I’ve nearly been eaten by a lot of things, and none of them got more than a nibble.
Noodle: You sure can be silly, Willy.
Willy Wonka: I suppose that’s true-dle, Noodle.
Noodle: True-dle?
Bleacher: Mrs. Scrubitt, your eyes are like two rabbit droppings in a couple of bowls of custard.
Mrs. Scrubitt: Oh! You really do have a way with words.
Abacus Crunch: The only way in is down a secret elevator, and past the Mistress of the Keys. A subterranean sentinel, who hasn’t seen sunlight in years.
Abacus Crunch: I’m sorry, Mr. Wonka, but they’ve got you right where they want you. You can’t get a shop without selling chocolate, and you can’t sell chocolate without a shop.
Willy Wonka: [referring to the drawing of the letter A] What’s this? Glass half full?
Noodle: Other way up.
Willy Wonka: Glass half empty.
Colin: Oh, waiter. Do you have anything for a broken heart?
Fickelgruber: If we don’t get on top of this, we’ll go bust.
All: Choc-apocalypse!
Chief of Police: Pretty sure I’ve gained about a hundred and fifty pounds in the last two weeks.
Willy Wonka: So you’re the funny little man who’s been following me.
Oompa Loompa: “Funny little man”? How dare you. I will have you know that I am a perfectly respectable size for an Oompa Loompa.
Willy Wonka: An Oompa-what-now?
Oompa Loompa: In Loompaland, I’m regarded as something of a whopper. They call me Lofty. So I will thank you to stop gawping at me as though I was something unpleasant you’d found in your handkerchief. I find it uncomfortable, and frankly, rude.
Oompa Loompa: Allow me to refresh your memory in the form of a song so ruinously catchy that it may never leave your mind.
Willy Wonka: Oh, I don’t think I want to hear that.
Oompa Loompa: Too late. I’ve started dancing now. Once we’ve started, we can’t stop, you see.
Oompa Loompa: [singing] Oompa Loompa doompety-dee-doo. I’ve got a tragic tale for you.
Oompa Loompa: Oompa Loompas do not negotiate.
Abacus Crunch: Now, I know what you’re thinking. It may need a little work.
Piper Benz: Looks like someone left the water running twenty years ago and the ceiling fell through. And the ceiling above that, and the ceiling above that.
Willy Wonka: Noodle, it’s just as I always imagined. No, scratch that. It’s better than I imagined. I mean, look at this place. I mean, yeah, it’s a wreck. But the potential! The bones! You mark my words, this is going to be the best chocolate shop the world has ever seen. You won’t be scrub-scrubbing much longer, Noodle. We’ll all be free. As free as flamingos!
Chief of Police: I’ve been eating these little paper cases for the past three days. You know, you think they’re going to give you the same hit. They don’t.
Abacus Crunch: And how would you like your change? Spendable or edible?
Sceptical Old Man: Oh, edible, please.
Willy Wonka: So why have you come? To gloat?
Slugworth: Oh, no, Mr. Wonka. I don’t waste my time with that sort of thing.
Oompa Loompa: [to Wonka] Tell me what it is, or I shall poke you quite viciously with a cocktail stick.
Oompa Loompa: Well, come on, Wonka. Spit it out. Produce your owl pellet of wisdom.
Mrs. Scrubitt: And you! Take them dungarees off, you peasant.
Bleacher: But Puffy-wuffy. I wuv you.
Willy Wonka: I went for a long, cold swim this morning. Cold water is very good for the brain. Stimulates the neural pathways. And after just four miles, it came to me. How an ingenious orphan, an accountant, a plumber, a telephone exchange operator, and a man who can speak underwater, could combine those talents, and pull off the heist of the century.
Noodle: The greedy beat the needy, Willy. It’s just the way of the world.
Willy Wonka: You’re right, Noodle. I guess that’s why there’s one other thing to do.
Noodle: What’s that?
Willy Wonka: Change the world.
Father Julius: What have I done to deserve this? You know what you’ve done, Julius. You’ve sold your soul for thirty pieces of chocolate.
Slugworth: And I’ve got a hundred and fifty. That should be enough.
Noodle: For what?
Slugworth: Death by chocolate.
Willy Wonka: If we’re going to drown in chocolate, Noodle, and let’s face it, we’re going to drown in chocolate, then it’s going to be Wonka chocolate.
Oompa Loompa: You have made a very grave error, gentlemen. You steal from an Oompa Loompa, we take back a thousandfold.
Oompa Loompa: [after he saves Wonka and Noodles] Well, I suppose that concludes our business. I will now return to my beloved Loompaland. Where the cocoa beans grow in disappointingly small numbers, and my friends look down on me
Willy Wonka: I thought they called you Lofty.
Oompa Loompa: The truth is that I am a quarter-inch below average. They call me Shorty-pants. But there it is.
Officer Affable: [mid-credits lines] Police.
Mrs. Scrubitt: I’m on the toilet, Officer.
Officer Affable: Open up.
Mrs. Scrubitt: One wipe, and I’m done. Oh, there’s more coming, hang on a minute.