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Starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Amber Tamblyn, David Cross, Jeannie Berlin
OUR RATING: ★★★☆☆
A24 comedy drama written and directed by Nicole Holofcener. You Hurt My Feelings (2023) centers on Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), an author, struggling with a lack of self-confidence, whose longstanding marriage with unsuccessful therapist, Don (Tobias Menzies), is suddenly upended when she overhears him giving his honest reaction to her latest book.
Carolyn: See? When I talk to him, he doesn’t look at me.
Don: Is there a reason you’re not looking at Carolyn?
Jonathan: I thought I was.
Carolyn: What, do you have eyes on the side of your head?
Jonathan: This is how I listen.
Don: Carolyn, maybe if Jonathan repeats back to you what you’ve said, would that help you to feel heard?
Carolyn: No, I don’t need him to repeat back to me what I just said. I need him to f***ing look at me.
Jonathan: [as he and Carolyn are arguing during therapy] Don, you want to intervene here? I mean, we can do this at home.
Don: Well, both of you know a more productive way to communicate. So how about, yeah. With a little less contempt, and some more honest feelings.
Jonathan: Okay, here’s a more honest feeling. We’ve been coming here a long time, and nothing changes.
Carolyn: You know what, Jonathan? Leave him alone he looks tired. You do.
Billy: So, I knew this girl once who talked too much. It drove me crazy. And one day, a bee flew in her mouth, and I thought it was hysterical, and just so perfectly poetic. I literally thought, “Thank God! Maybe now she’ll actually shut up.” But then she had an allergic reaction and died.
Beth: Oh, wow. I didn’t see that coming. That’s terrible.
Beth: What kind of story were you thinking about, Hal?
Hal: Something in a prison.
Beth: Oh. Alright. And what about a prison specifically interests you?
Beth: For sure.
Don: [to Beth] Trust me, your memoir was great. Your new book is great.
Beth: We’re so lucky.
Don: Yeah. We are.
Beth: Don’t call old people adorable.
Sarah: She was adorable.
Beth: No, babies are adorable, right?
Eliot: Why don’t you guys get your own food?
Don: We like to share.
Beth: Why does that bother you?
Don: Maybe you two should see a therapist together.
Eliot: We’re twenty-three.
Don: Listen, it’s never too early.
Eliot: You’re sharing an ice cream cone?
Beth: Yeah. You want some?
Beth: God, whatever happened to regular coffee shops with their red booths and the perfect tuna?
Sylvia: Ooh, did you want to go somewhere else?
Beth: No, but you know what I mean. You know, with the the filthy menus and the mean people.
Sylvia: You’re competing with writers of all ethnicities. Refugees, cancer, murder, abuse.
Beth: I had abuse.
Sylvia: Verbal abuse.
Beth: It was still abuse.
Sylvia: Of course it was. And you wrote about it beautifully.
'It's like the whole planet is melting, and I'm just out shopping for cashmere walls.' - Sarah (You Hurt My Feelings) Click To Tweet
Beth: She said I wasn’t a new voice.
Don: You’re the best voice.
Beth: An old voice. I’m not that old.
Don: I look tired. I’m aging.
Beth: What are you, nuts?
Don: Well, you get Botox.
Beth: Well, I just get a little bit right here. You know, I can still move my eyebrows. Watch. Watch.
Don: Oh, yeah. So expressive.
Beth: Since when are you so vain?
Don: I don’t know. I was young and hot.
Beth: Well, you’re still younger than me.
Georgia: [to Beth, referring to her book] It should’ve done better.
Beth: Well, maybe if Dad hadn’t just been verbally abusive, it would’ve been a bestseller.
Georgia: What? What is the matter with you? Don’t say that.
Beth: Okay, so what have you been up to, Mom?
Georgia: Physical therapy. Netflix. TMC.
Sarah: No. TCM.
Georgia: Why would it be called The Channel Movie? It’s The Movie Channel.
Beth: Turner Classic Movies.
Georgia: No kidding?
Sarah: Yep. True story.
Georgia: Oh. I meant TMZ.
Sarah: No, you didn’t.
Georgia: I don’t f***ing know. There’s so many channels.
Sarah: [referring to Georgia] Is she jealous of the homeless?
Beth: Yeah, she is. Because they got everything going for them. So I suppose so.
Beth: You cannot be that crazy lady.
Georgia: I’m not a crazy lady. And I’m not a lady. None of us are ladies. We are women.
Mark: Any new crazies?
Don: No new ones. No. I don’t know. I’m feeling kind of off my game.
Mark: Oh, really. What do you mean?
Don: I don’t know. My crazies are fine. Actually, I shouldn’t call them that. Do you mind?
Mark: This is my life.
Don: What pumpkin movie?
Mark: It’s this movie I did about ten years ago.
Don: Did you play a pumpkin?
Mark: No, that was the lead.
Mark: [as Beth overhears Don talking to Mark] I thought that you liked her writing.
Don: I do, generally. But I don’t like this new book.
Mark: And this is a memoir?
Don: No. No. She’s written a novel. It’s fiction. It’s kind of a mystery. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know what it is.
'I know the whole world is falling apart. Of course I know that. But this is my world. My small little narcissistic world. And, you know, I'm hurt.' - Beth (You Hurt My Feelings) Click To Tweet
Mark: [referring to Beth’s book] Can you say anything?
Don: No, I can’t. I can’t. I could have, maybe should have, you know, like second, third, twentieth read.
Mark: Twentieth read?
Don: Yeah. Yeah. Draft, after draft, after draft, she was asking for notes and I didn’t know how to. And now it feels too late.
Mark: And it’s no good?
Don: Not to me.
Sarah: [after she hears Don talking about her book] He loves you more than life itself.
Beth: What does that have to do with anything here?
Sarah: I’m saying that he doesn’t love your book, okay? He doesn’t love your book. I mean, who cares?
Beth: [referring to Don] Do you understand I’ve been working on this book for two years, right? I’ve given him like a million drafts to read, and every time he reads it, every single time, he tells me how much he loves it. Every single time!
Sarah: [referring to Don] You’re going to talk to him.
Beth: Well, that’s a joke. I am never going to be able to look him in the face ever again. Okay, that’s over.
Beth: [referring to Don] Oh, God. What about my memoir? He probably thinks it’s bad. Oh, my God. This whole time.
Sarah: It’s about you. How could he think that?
Beth: How could he possibly respect me?
Sarah: Of course he respects you.
Beth: No. Not if he doesn’t like my work. You know that.
Beth: [referring to Don] He’s a liar. What a p**ck too, you know? That he doesn’t think I could take it. Like that alone is so insulting.
Sarah: Beth, he loves you. Even if he doesn’t like your book.
Beth: I just need his approval. Of all people.
Sarah: [referring to Beth’s book] Well, let me read it.
Beth: It’s okay. You don’t read.
Sarah: Am I in it?
Sarah: You know what? Like Mark isn’t always great. Okay? I mean, as an actor. It kind of depends on the role.
Beth: Why are you whispering? Is he hiding under the couch?
Sarah: I’m just saying, he’s not always good. You know? And I think that’s kind of the same thing.
Beth: [referring to Mark’s acting] So the times when you don’t think he’s good, what do you say to him?
Sarah: That he’s good.
Beth: Well, what if he found out that you were lying?
Sarah: He’d croak.
Beth: Well, I want to croak.